


The Fight for You

by WishIHadWings



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Because They Love Each Other, Endgame, Fluff, Ian and Mickey both fight for their happily ever after, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, fighting for Mickey's freedom, post 7x11, pretty much everything gallavich is, they have struggles but get through them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-09-08 09:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 257,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8839786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishIHadWings/pseuds/WishIHadWings
Summary: Mickey spent years fighting to make sure Ian Gallagher knew he was loved and protected. He fought against every obstacle to stay by Ian’s side. Everything he became was for Ian, but when Ian left the love of his life with a simple 'I love you' 'I’m sorry' he never realized the mistake he was making. Mickey drove over that border into Mexico with nothing but Ian’s cash and an empty heart.Mickey Milkovich became instantly untraceable. Ian suffered the consequence.Would he suddenly risk everything for a second shot with the missing fugitive?





	1. Prologue

The clock ticked over to midnight, a new day was finally beginning.

But for the unfulfilled man that lived within a baby blue house filled with memories of his past, it was a reminder of what he gave up to stay in this ice-cold grey city.

It had been a year since Ian Gallagher had made a decision that broke his heart more than he thought it would.

A year since he said goodbye, hoping that the blue eyed man he couldn’t get out of his head would finally disappear.

The words they hardly spoke flooded his brain every night, his lips still tingled from their last kiss, and his heart never let go off his never-ending guilt.

Every time he closed his eyes to fall asleep, it was like he was back at that moment.

_The Mexican sun warming his skin, the dusty road, the softest breeze. The border. The fear._

_Black hair. Blue eyes. Hopeful. Scared. Broken._

_“Alright, you’re driving”_

Leaning back on his couch, Ian crossed his arms as he listened to the clock ticking. 12:01am.

He shut his eyes and breathed out the heaving in his chest. He never wanted to forget that voice, no matter how much it hurt.

_“What’s the matter with you? Let’s go”_

_“I can’t”_

_“You can—Get behind the wheel and drive the damn car!”_

Ian opened his eyes now, not even realizing tears had soaked his ginger eyelashes. Maybe they were tired tears. Maybe they were sad tears. Maybe they were angry tears.

He lied down now upon the old green couch, pulling an old blanket over him for security.

He watched the worn out, peeling roof and tried to just _think,_ but all he could focus on was that day. He closed his eyes with a sigh, knowing this attempt to sleep would just be as hard as the night he left.

_“Ian we’re one step from the finish line”_

Ian’s voice shook as he exhaled. He couldn’t get him out of his head.

_“What the fuck!?”_

Ian had given him every last cent from his bank account to show his love, but now realized it made him look petty, as if the man he has loved since he was 14 was just a charity.

_“I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with me!”_

He should’ve gone.

He should’ve.

Should’ve.

But didn't.

_“Don’t do this”_

_“I love you”_

Pathetic

_“Then get in the fucking car”_

_“It’s not—This isn’t me anymore”_

“I’m sorry,” Ian whispered to thin air.

 “ _I’m sorry”_

_“That’s it, huh?”_

It shouldn’t have been.

_He kissed Ian’s lips for what they both thought would be the last time._

It won’t be.

_“Fuck you, Gallagher”_

Mickey.

_Ian watched Mickey Milkovich drive up to the Borderline in his disguise._

_He stood, worried and scared that the person he loved would go back to prison for what could be the rest of his life. He worried for the worst, he worried for the consequences._

Ian Gallagher: The man who underestimated the smartest criminal he knew.

_The boom gate lifted and so did the anxiety pressing into Ian’s consciousness. Mickey would be okay. He would be free._

Ian Gallagher: The man who walked away from true love.


	2. Chapter 2

Black slowly drifted to white on the insides of Ian’s eyelids. The sun had risen, and he didn’t get a second of sleep. He opened his eyes to a lit-up, quiet home.

His eyes tried to close again but Ian reached for his phone instead, feeling his eyes strain at the brightness. 7:34am.

_Fuck._

Ian groaned as he sat up and continued to groan obnoxiously loud as he stretched, cracking his back to relieve the knots from laying on the worn out couch.

With a sigh, he stood up and zipped up his jeans, dragging his feet slowly to the kitchen where he turned on a pot of coffee. He hoped the noise wouldn’t wake anyone else in the house, his family were the last thing he wanted to deal with today. Usually they'd be busy, but it was the weekend and fortunately for Ian, he had to work whilst everyone else stayed home and lazed about.

He worked as an Emergency Medical Technician with some amazing people. His boss, Rita, was reluctant in allowing Ian to work after finding out about his bipolar disorder but Ian proved that he could do the job. He worked damn hard for it, too.

Most importantly, it was a job he was finally happy with.

Ian had spent majority of his life wanting to be in the army but fucked that up when his bipolar came to surface like a dormant volcano no one knew was there. But he didn’t want to think about that, he had thought about too many things this morning.

He may have lost the chance to fight for his country, but he was saving people’s lives now and to him, that now sounded like the better option.

Ian leaned against the counter stained from years and years of use. His eyes continued to droop but he shook himself awake. He hoped today would be a slow work day.

He checked his phone again as he felt it vibrate against his leg. He sighed to find a text from his boyfriend Trevor. That was another person he didn't want to deal with today. He just wanted to lay in bed and forget his messy life.

‘ _Good morning baaaaby, hope you got some sleep. Have a good day at work and I’ll see you tonight x’_

Ian just threw his phone carelessly onto the counter and prepared a bowl of cereal, making sure the milk was in date before he poured it all over his froot loops.

Finally, the coffee was ready and he got himself a cup of the brew before sitting at the dining table with the cereal. He didn’t even feel hungry, screwing up his nose up ashe played with the sugary donut-shaped crisps slowly becoming soggy in the bowl.

That was when he heard the toilet flush from upstairs and felt sudden panic strike, making him sit up straight as he began to eat.

Ian didn’t want people to know who he was thinking of or that he was struggling to sleep every night. Why would he? No one would understand. This wasn’t caused by his bipolar, but that’s what everyone would say.

He hated his disorder, not because he couldn’t handle it (sure, it had its side effects) but because no one understood. Unless they also had bipolar, there was no way anyone could truly understand it.

Trevor still didn’t know about Ian’s disorder. He kept putting it off after his ex-boyfriend Caleb acted as if it were nothing before telling Ian about his STD.

As if an STD could be compared to a mental illness.

Mickey was so caring towards Ian and his bipolar disorder. He learnt every fact he could and stayed by Ian’s side as he went through his highs and lows.

He missed Mickey. He wished he wasn’t so clouded from the meds and understood that Mickey was taking care of him and wasn’t just sticking around because he felt sorry for him. Ian now realized that Mickey was just doing his best, but he couldn’t do anything about that now.

Every night, Ian would contemplate leaving to Mexico. He imagined how Mickey would react. He imagined holding him and just inhaling the most beautiful scent to ever exist.

But he knew it’d be too drastic. It had been far too long now, where would Mickey even be?

Lip came down the steps to the kitchen and nodded at Ian to say good morning

“You workin’ today?” he asked casually

“Yeah,” Ian sighed with a slight laugh, sipping his coffee now

Lip just nodded again and put some bread in the toaster.

Philip (AKA. Lip) was Ian’s big brother who was also his best friend. The one he confided in for literally everything. The past year had been hard for Lip, struggling with what was inherited alcoholism from their parents, Ian sat by his brother’s side through it all and Lip was now about 10 months sober.

He was proud of how far the older brother had come.

Heck, he was proud of the both of them, but Ian had more regrets than Lip did.

Fiona came walking down only moments after Lip had sat at the table with Ian. Ian already felt crowded and as if the house was getting louder. She greeted her brothers with a bright smile and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“I’m going to meet up with the interior designer for the apartment complex today,” She giggled, proud of herself.

Fiona used to be the type of woman who cared for her siblings as if they were her own children. She practically raised her 5 siblings because of how fucked up their parents were. After getting custody of the kids, she lost herself along the way, fucking up every relationship she had been in and continuously put everyone else before herself.

Now she was buying up investment properties and trying to make big bucks with no time for her siblings or love life.

Ian was proud of her, but secretly wished she cared a little bit more sometimes.

“I can’t believe I have enough money to afford an interior designer,” she shook her head in disbelief

Lip smiled distastefully and Ian rolled his eyes, getting up to put his half eaten bowl of cereal in the sink.

_Here we go_

“Better watch yourself sis, don’t go putting too much money into it if you’re just going to sell it.”

Fiona decided to ignore him and turned to look at the ever so quiet Ian.

“Jesus Ian you look like shit,” she remarked

Ian just stared at her as she placed her hand on his cheek. That worrying frown she wore so well was apparent now.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Fiona asked

“Not much,” Ian willingly admitted

“Why? You’re not upset over the anniversary of Monica’s death right?”

Oh yeah, that also happened a year ago.

Ian had completely forgotten about his mother’s death. It wasn’t something that felt real. Monica was always in and out of their lives, but to think that she was out forever was something that caused Ian’s gut to churn. He still thinks she'll come back again.

It’s Monica, she always comes back.

“Shit that was a year ago?” Lip spoke as if he too had forgotten.

“I know, crazy isn’t it? No more Monica” Fiona sighed.

Ian gulped down the rest of his coffee and placed the mug into the sink carefully. He grabbed his phone and quickly left the room telling his siblings he had to get ready for work.

He walked up the stairs, went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror and jumped slightly from shock. He really did look horrible. The dark circles under his eyes proved his lack of sleep, no amount of lies could deny that. With a sigh, he looked down at his phone and decided he had ignored the text for a decent amount of time, and finally replied to his boyfriend.

_‘Good morning! Can’t wait to see you :) x’_

It was the best Ian could do. He then set his phone down and opened the medicine cabinet to grab his medication.

Same time, every day.

He gulped it down with a handful of water from the sink before quickly getting undressed and jumped in the shower, hoping that would wake him from his dull mood.

 

Ian arrived at work right on time and rushed to put his bag into his locker like he always did. It was a routine for him and he liked to always be prepared for an emergency.

Sue reversed into the garage and parked.

Ian sighed and tried to keep up with his ‘everything is fine’ act, carrying the fakest grin on his face.

He smiled at Sue as she got out of the van with another EMT. Ian instantly walked over, offering to help them clean and set up the van so it’d be prepared for the next call.

“How was it?” Ian wondered, talking about the previous emergency

“Nothing too serious. Woman in labor.”

“Ah,” Ian nodded, opening the back of the van to be shocked at the sight of it.

“She also gave birth in the van,” Sue spoke in a casual tone, not much about this job could shock her anymore.

As for Ian, every day was a new experience.

“Yikes” Jess, the EMT that went out with her commented

“Yeah I know it’s a mess,” Ian replied with a laugh

“I’m not talking about the van,” she chuckled, “I’m talking about your face”

Ian pursed his lips and turned to Sue who was also shocked by Ian’s dark and tired green eyes.

“Jesus Ian you look terrible!”

“Thanks for the honesty I guess,” Ian tried to joke before lying, “I didn’t get much sleep so I’m a bit tired.”

“No, I’ve seen ‘a bit tired’ Ian, you look exhausted.”

Ian sighed and looked away from her “What can I do? Not work?”

“Yes! Exactly that!”

Jess interrupted, “Alright I better head home. See you tomorrow Sue. Bye Ian!” Jess called out from behind as she was ready to walk out the door.

“Bye!” Ian courteously responded before looking back at Sue

“Ian,” she spoke sternly, “you know how high-impact this work is. You can’t afford to come in like this, Rita would kick your ass.”

Ian looked down, “sorry, it’s just,” he paused, “It’s been a year since my mom died.”

He felt awful using Monica as an excuse, but he wasn’t prepared to mention Mickey to anyone yet.

Sue instantly relaxed her shoulders and looked at her co-worker with sympathy. She placed her hand on his arm to comfort him.

“I’m sorry, Ian. Just take the day off, it’s okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “rest up. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

Ian nodded, “thank you.”

He proceeded to go to his locker and grab his bags, suddenly the alarm bell rang and two more EMT’s came rushing in to get in another van.

Now Ian was actually relieved he didn’t have to work, just the sound of the alarm wore him out.

 

There he was again, laying down now in his bed staring at the roof. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sleep knowing Mickey was out there somewhere doing god knows what.

He knew Mickey would be okay. Mickey was good at looking after himself, but that wasn’t the point.

Ian wanted to know what he was up to, he wanted to be there with him watching the sunset, sitting at the beach with a bottle of tequila.

The vision appealed to him from the second Mickey brought it up to him.

Not that the sunset really mattered, Ian knew he would much rather stare at Mickey’s face instead.

God, he loved him so much it made his bones ache. He felt horrible, because not only did he break Mickey’s heart, but he also isn’t in love with the man he’s been in a relationship with for over a year now.

Trevor had no clue where Ian was when he ignored him for those three days, and Ian wasn’t prepared to tell him. He never really opened up to Trevor that often unless he couldn’t handle a situation, but this was much different.

Firstly, Ian got involved with Mickey’s business after telling Trevor he wouldn’t.

Secondly, he not only kissed but had sex with Mickey numerous times. He cheated.

Thirdly, he was actually going to cross over into another country with a fugitive without a goodbye.

Ian knew if he were to go to Mexico, he couldn’t do it with Trevor still around. He’d have to break up with him and Ian just didn’t have the heart to leave him.

But now Ian was thinking differently, he wanted to go to Mexico, and not in his imagination.

He wanted to drive himself over that border without any consequences.

He needed a plan.

And he figured it out.

He instantly got out of his bed and grabbed an old notebook to scribble down his ideas so he wouldn’t forget them, then ripped out the page and folded it to fit in his phone cover.

No one could know this. Not yet.

Ian could feel his heart racing in a way it hadn’t in a year.

He felt hopeful.

He was going to get Mickey back.

Ian finally fell asleep now that his heart was full. He felt so alive and his mind finally relaxed knowing that the next time he’d see Mickey wasn’t as far as he thought it would be. He just hoped it would work out.

 

That night in the cold Chicago air, Ian waited by Trevor’s door, knocking persistently as he shivered from the cold.

“Hang on!” a raspy voice called out

Ian smirked and kept knocking anyway just to fuck with him.

“Oh my fucking god!” Trevor yelled, pulling the door open “You alright there?”

“Hey” Ian grinned, pressing a kiss to Trevor’s lips before walking inside.

Trevor’s home was a comforting place for Ian, it was inviting and messy in that perfect way. There were photos of LGBTQ+ rallies and of friends he still hasn’t met. He had books stacked high about being a homeless gay teen, gender identity, and how to embrace who you truly are.

He loved how passionate about equality Trevor was, he used his voice however he could to educated the masses on a group of people that are still so oppressed. His job was to help kids in the LGBTQ+ community that were suffering from that oppression and help them find homes or places to go in need of some guidance or comfort.

Ian couldn’t believe how small-minded he was before Trevor, and was thankful he got to learn about a part of himself he thought he already knew.

He liked Trevor, and didn’t care if he was transgender. He was willing to try and do whatever he could to make sure he was happy, even if that meant bottoming for the first time.

There wasn’t really anything bad or crazy about Trevor and Ian liked that, but at the same time, it bored him. He liked some excitement, that could just be the Gallagher daddy/mommy issues talking though.

 

The two enjoyed a night sitting on the couch watching a movie with some Chinese food, they talked about their days but kept it mostly Trevor based. Ian didn’t like to reveal too much about himself.

He didn’t want to reveal too much, but he thought it was about time he let something out.

“So, you know my mom?” Ian started the next topic

Trevor put his beer down and sat closer to Ian, placing his hand on his leg knowing it could be a sensitive topic.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking about her a little bit today,” Ian told him, and it wasn’t a lie, he had been. Mostly because everyone else wouldn’t stop talking about it.

“Really? You never talk about her.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that,” Ian admitted, and that was true. Trevor met Monica and after he and Ian got into a small argument, Ian lashed out at Monica.

Ian lashed out at Monica for never being around, and Trevor told him to get over it.

Maybe that was one bad thing about Ian’s boyfriend.

“Like what?” Trevor’s brows furrowed

“You remember that night she met up with us and said ‘Ian just gets a bit wound up, just like his mom’?”

“Seriously? You’re not _still_ going on about that are you?”

Ian took a deep breath as he remembered Trevor's words,

_'She apologized, move on'_

He smirked as he unpleasantly remembered that evening.

“Would you please listen before you jump down my throat?” Ian asked him calmly

Trevor stayed silent

“Thank you,”

“Well, go on,” the brunette man insisted

“Okay,” he breathed, “you know how I told you she’s bipolar?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s why I got pissed at her for saying I was getting wound up because I’m just like her.”

Trevor’s eyes brooded, unable to understand.

“Trev, I,” he paused, “I’m also…bipolar.”

Ian looked down feeling vulnerable. He didn’t like to let his walls down so easily.

“Oh,” was all Trevor could respond with, making Ian feel uneasy.

“You’re not going to want to fuck me after this are you?” Ian laughed, hoping to bring lightness to the conversation.

“No, no! I just don’t know what to say, like,” he sighed, trying to find the words. He looked at Ian with so much love in his eyes and Ian felt nothing but guilt.

Trevor placed his hand upon his boyfriend’s cheek and smiled.

“You’re nothing like Monica”

Ian smiled and fluttered his eyes shut as Trevor leaned in for a kiss. The two kissed slowly, Ian pulling him closer to grab a feel of his body.

Trevor smirked and pulled away, resting his head to Ian’s. The two stared into each other’s eyes and kissed lightly.

“I love you, Ian Gallagher,” Trevor whispered.

_Oh no_

Ian felt his eyes sting and his airways close up. He was panicking, he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘I love you too’ not when he was planning to leave him soon.

A knock came at the door, distracting Trevor.

_Thank god_

“Sorry, give me a sec,” he smiled, leaving his embrace with Ian.

This was going to be so much harder than he thought. He needed to speak to someone before following through with this. He needed to know it was the right thing.

Ian stood up and saw a teenage girl with bright blue hair walk in. She looked sad and tired, Ian could relate.

He made sure to smile at her, assuming she was a kid who was kicked out and needed a place to stay.

“Okay, Ally,” Trevor spoke to her, closing the door, “I’ll show you to your room for the night. I promise you everything will be alright and we’ll sort this out tomorrow.”

He pulled her through to the spare bedroom and Ian pulled out his phone, biting his lip. He opened up his contacts and found who he was looking for almost instantly.

Trevor came back in quicker than Ian thought and scrambled to lock his phone.

“Hey, I’m so sorry—” Trevor begun but Ian cut him off

“Don’t worry about it, I should go anyway.”

Trevor pouted slightly, “alright, text me?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you,” Ian kissed him softly, “Promise.”

They said goodbye and Ian walked out, making his way to the curb. He walked a few blocks down to make sure Trevor didn’t see him. It was almost pitch black in this dead quiet street, but he didn’t want to be noticed. Or heard.

Ian pulled out his phone again and swallowed the lump in his throat. He hadn’t spoken to this person in a while after they ignored his messages. He was scared of who might be at the other end of the line.

He hesitated, feeling the cold wind wrap around him. He tensed. Maybe he couldn’t do this.

_“You ever think about me, when I was in the joint?”_

_Ian looked over at Mickey who laid beside him on a blanket watching the stars._

_The full moon had Mickey’s pale skin radiate, Ian couldn’t believe how beautiful he was._

_“A lot”_

He had to do this, he couldn’t be a coward anymore.

He pressed the number and raised the phone to his ear. The ringing made it harder for Ian to cope, his heart was beating in his throat.

When it picked up and there was a second of silence, his heart suddenly froze.

“Hello?”

“Hey” Ian spoke, unable to believe they picked up.

God, he missed that voice.

“Ian? Everything okay?” the voice wondered, worried. 

“Yeah, Mandy,” Ian smiled, “are you in town? I’d love to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: @igotamagicpenis


	3. Chapter 3

_ Mexico, someplace sunny _

The waves crashed into the shore peacefully as the sun rose, shining a warm light through an open window, which caused a rough yet sweet looking raven haired male to stir awake from his sleep.

Despite having lived in the south side of Chicago for 21 years and being used to the sounds of sirens, gunshots and fighting in the streets, he could never quite get used to the sound of silence and waves.

scarred hands showed the dark past this man had, with 'fuck-u-up' tattooed across his knuckles. He rubbed his eyes with his palms and sighed, looking at the time on his digital clock. 5am.

_Delightful._

He rolled over and felt the throbbing of a hangover ache his head. He looked up at the broken-tiled roof of his cheap Mexican apartment.

Mickey Milkovich had made it just fine on his own, trying to get the image of an emotionless red head out of his mind. He was slowly moving on.

Slowly.

_“I love you”_

_Sure, you do._

The one thing that got Mickey was their last kiss, despite his ex-lover’s words being so cold as if he had rehearsed them 100 times in his head, there was something about that kiss that broke his heart in a way he had never experienced before.

It was painful and torturous, he could taste the conflicting push-and-pull of Ian Gallagher's true emotions.

Of course, Mickey felt it too.

But that didn't stop the pain of it all.

He was angry and broken. He knew Ian cared at least a little bit, because he wouldn't have made the decision to run away with him if that was the case.

But obviously Ian cared about himself more.

"Buenos días," the man that slept naked beside him smirked.

"Hola," Mickey responded, smirking back as the tan male leaned over him to get a kiss.

Mickey's romance life was something colorful, Latino and Spanish boys were a new taste of his, but he still enjoyed going home with an Irish backpacker every once and a while.

He had been dating a man named André for about 6 months now, but that wasn't the man lying next to him right now.

André told Mickey he wasn't into monogamous relationships, which was hard for Mickey to adjust to since he was the possessive type.

Whenever he felt even a little bit jealous, he drowned himself in strangers to cope.

They knew how they felt for each other, so who cares about who was in their bed, _right_?

Romance is more important than sex, _right_?

Mickey tried to make himself believe that anyway.

"Last night was amazing," the Spanish accent softly spoke, pressing slow wet kisses from his cheek to his neck.

Mickey only topped, and not just because he didn't like to be the bitch when it came to people he didn't care about. Turns out Mexican men love to bottom. Passionately, too.

What was his name again? Jordan? Angel? _Fuck_ , it didn't matter. It was just sex.

He grabbed his cigarettes from his bed side table and placed one in between his chapped lips.

"Yeah it was," he mumbled, lighting the smoke, inhaling the cancerous chemicals with pleasure.

As the sun rose, the beams glided over Mickey's chest. The stranger in his bed tilted his head with curiosity.

The man traced the crooked letters as he spoke, "what’s a Ian gay-lerg-her" he sounded out with a chuckle.

_Fucking hell_

"Gallagher," he corrected, the name tasted bitter on his tongue.

"Oh, who's that? Family? Name of a dead pet? You American's do shit like that, right?"

"Fuck no," he replied bluntly, "my ex."

"Oh," he piped, sitting up, "bet you regret that."

"I didn't until he told me Gallagher was spelt with two 'L's," he sighed.

“¡Órale!” He gasped in Spanish, Mickey just assumed it meant something along the lines of ‘oh my god! _'_ by the tone of his voice

"Yeah, we weren't even together anymore when I got it," he told him, inhaling more smoke into his lungs, trying not to mention the whole 'went to prison for him' part.

"Doesn't matter now anyway" Mickey continued, "I'm getting it covered up in a couple weeks."

"With what?" He asked with continuing curiosity, tying his shoulder length dark hair into a man-bun.

"Fuck, I don’t know! I was thinking something that looks how the colors orange or red feels since that color ink doesn't work well in the long run," he exhaled more smoke, the man pulled the cigarette from his fingertips, taking a long drag.

"Why those colors?" He exhaled

Mickey bit his lip, snatching the cigarette back and putting it out.

"Stop asking stupid fucking questions,"

"Okay, let me make it up to you then," he grinned, tucking himself completely underneath the dirty bed sheet, kissing down his stomach and teasing his length with soft kisses.

Mickey moaned softly and closed his eyes, turning his head towards the open window that swept in dry, warm air.

The second the stranger latched himself onto Mickey, he was smiling at the sensation.

He looked out of the window at the sun shining so brightly, the golden star reminded Mickey of that person he was trying so hard to forget.

It wasn't just today, but every day. Every time the sun hit his eyes he thought of Ian Gallagher.

It helped him cope when he first got to Mexico and felt all alone. Whenever the sun was out he felt less lonely, as if it were the warmth of Ian being with him.

Sure, it was cheesy, but it did help. Now he was moving on, had his own job and a boyfriend. He felt equivalent to Ian, which was a first for him.

It made it easier for him to turn his back to the sun.

He was more of a moon and stars kind of man, anyway.

* * *

  _Illinois, somewhere gloomy in Chicago _

Sitting in a booth at the back of Patsy’s Pies, Ian waited impatiently, watching the lunchtime rush of customers enjoying their food with smiles on their faces.

Ian was worried that after that spur-of-the-moment call, Mandy wouldn’t show up.

He didn’t blame her. It had been at least two years since they last saw each other, and she was doing really well with herself. He probably shouldn’t have invited her to a diner so close to the south side after she fought so hard to get out of here and escape the abuse.

Mandy Milkovich is and always will be considered one of Ian's best friends no matter how long they didn’t speak for. He loved her, she was the second person to find out he was gay and the two of them pretended they were in a relationship for years to keep creeps away from her, and so no one would suspect anything about Ian’s sexuality.

It was a bit of a strange situation now that Ian looked back at it, pretending to date Mickey’s sister and fucking Mickey behind her back. Then Mandy started fucking Lip behind Ian’s, so no matter how you looked at it—it was just strange.

He hoped she would show. He really didn’t know who else to talk to. He could speak to Lip but he wouldn’t listen and would probably tell Ian to be realistic about this.

Which he was, by the way. He just didn’t want to make these decisions on his own, and who better to get advice from about this than a Milkovich?

Mandy understood loving someone so deeply you’d do anything for them. She was someone who understood Ian.

 _God,_ he missed her.

He sighed and twirled his cup of Coca-Cola around slowly, just watching the carbonated bubbles rise and fall.

Then he glanced out the window and saw a baby blue Jeep pull up out the front. He could just feel his frown turning into a thankful smile.

_She showed up._

Mandy got out of her jeep wearing something completely different to how she used to dress as a teenager.

Knee high heel boots, dark jeans, long sleeve black shirt with a grey wrap coat tied tight around her waist.

He could tell it was expensive by how cautiously she walked around everyone.

He could also tell by looking at her face that she wished she had worn some combat boots and a hoodie instead.

Mandy was still Mandy, even with her blonde hair, large sunglasses and Louis Vuitton handbag.

He stood up as she walked in, he never thought he would be _this_ happy to see his best friend.

“Mandy!” Ian called out, the out-of-place Milkovich pulled her glasses off and lit up like a Christmas Tree at the sight of her favorite red head.

She pushed herself through the crowded diner to reach Ian, latching herself onto him with a tight hug. They both laughed slightly as Ian squeezed her.

She even smelt expensive.

“I missed you so much,” Mandy sincerely spoke, her manicured fingernails dug into his back from how hard she was clinging onto him.

Ian laughed, trying to not mention the fact he tried to get in touch with her a few times.

“I missed you too,” he mumbled against her shoulder, inhaling her coffee and vanilla bean scent.

“What perfume are you wearing?” Ian had to ask, the way any best friend would.

She laughed as they pulled away from each other, “It’s Black Opium. It’s the only good quality perfume that doesn’t smell like flowers and death.”

Ian joined in with her laughter and they sat opposite each other, Mandy grabbed a menu and skimmed through her options.

“$6.50 for a burger at a shitty diner?” She scoffed, Ian bit his lip to hide his grin

“Uh, Fiona manages this place so don’t worry you’ll get a discount.”

“Oh,” Mandy froze, not that it mattered to her. She never got along with Fiona anyway.

“Yeah and the food has really improved here, so,” Ian paused, “Um, how are you?”

“Yeah I’m good,” she nodded, smiling slightly, “Real good.”

“that’s great!” Ian enthused before sighing, looking at his menu even though he knew what he wanted.

Sierra, a waitress at the diner came over, pulling out her pen and notepad.

Ian knew Sierra briefly; She’s a single mom who Lip was kind of dating before his alcoholism got in the way. His younger sister Debbie was marrying her disabled brother Neil and was living with him now.

Ian wasn’t sure if she really loved Neil or was just saying shit so she could keep DHS away from her daughter, but Debbie was happy and that was more important.

“Hey Ian,” Sierra greeted with a smile.

“Hey,” Ian replied, “How’s things?”

“Yeah good,” she bit her lip, “How’s Lip been?”

Ian shifted his eyes, “don’t you guys work together?”

“Yeah but I’ve been avoiding him,” she admitted.

Mandy suddenly piped in, “Why?”

Sierra was taken aback by the blonde’s sudden interest.

“Uh, who are you?”

“This is Mandy,” Ian introduced, “My friend.”

“You make friends with stuck up north-siders?”

Ian was ready to just get under the table and let the cat fight begin.

“Fuck you. I’m not north side,” Mandy had an empty laugh, “I was born and raised south side, I just happened to get a really good job. Now I live in inner Chicago.”

“Good for you,” Sierra smiled but her voice stayed bitter.

She went to turn to Ian to ask what they wanted to order before Mandy interrupted again.

“You know that fugitive that’s been missing for a year now? The one who was put in prison for attempted murder.”

Sierra tried to think of who Mandy was speaking about.

“Mickey Milkovich?”

“Yeah, I’m his sister. Just saying, that should really give you an idea of who I am.”

By this point Ian was so ready to jump through a glass window.

Sierra looked at Mandy as if she was a creep, “Look, sorry if I upset you now can I do my job?”

“Fine,” was her final response.

Sierra sighed with relief.

“Now, what would you guys like to order?”

 

Despite the intense start, Mandy and Ian were having a good time together over their lunch. Mandy was trying to not ask about Lip. Ian could tell she wanted to know about him just by how blunt she was continuing to be. Even through her laughter.

“Just to put your mind at ease—If you must know, Lip and Sierra were together until he had a relapse.”

“Relapse?” she raised her brow with concern, “What kind of a relapse?”

Ian pursed his lips before chewing on a fry,“Alcohol”

“Lip’s an alcoholic?”

For some reason, she seemed shocked.

“He _was_ , alright? Relax, he’s doing much better now,” Ian promised her, “but Lip punched up Sierra’s baby daddy for not leaving her alone.”

“That seems reasonable to me.”

“He was drunk, and nearly tore my ear off in the process.”

Mandy stayed silent for a minute, “You know, I’m not in love with Lip anymore but at least I understand that he does give a fuck about the people he’s with.”

Ian laughed slightly, surprised by that statement.

“Even you?” he questioned.

“He was good to me, I just went full-Milkovich and he couldn’t take it. Just like you couldn’t handle Mickey trying to murder your half-sister.”

“Not true! I could handle it,” Ian admitted, “I used that as an excuse for me to distance myself.”

Mandy didn’t look happy with that.

Ian sighed, continuing, “I just couldn’t handle seeing him behind that glass—knowing he was behind that glass because of me.”

Mandy stared at Ian with sympathy now, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears, “I’m sorry.”

Ian shrugged, taking a bite out of his burger. Anyone else he’d be freaking out about this kind of conversation, but it was just so easy to talk to Mandy.

“Either way, if I were her I wouldn’t have left Lip. He needs someone. Someone who is good for him.”

“You were good for him,” Ian mumbled with his mouth full.

“Yeah, but he didn’t love me,” she took a long pause as she seemed distracted by the memories circling her brain, “Now I’m too good for him.”

Ian smiled sadly at the concept, he always despised Lip for his attitude towards Mandy, but he knew that if they were still together Mandy would still be trapped in the south side with black hair and eyeliner taking up majority of her eyelids.

That thought helped Ian bring up his next question.

“Are you still escorting?” he asked, not even dancing around it first.

She shook her head, slurping down her shake, “Not really,” she swallowed, “I stopped after the incident when you were there.”

Ian wasn’t there, she called him freaking out and Ian rushed over, but he wasn’t going to correct her.

“I still go out with the regulars and they pay me still,” she explained, “I’m just doing it to save money, I want to go to College.”

That made Ian light up a little bit, “College?”

Mandy never believed she was smart enough to go to College.

“Yeah,” She smiled, proud of herself, “I want to do a degree in Business, it’s just going to be hard to be accepted anywhere. I’m also trying to find an internship or something.”

“Oh wow,” Ian smiled proudly, “Would one of the guys you see know a place and get you to work there?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged, “The idea is still fresh so I haven’t really spoken to anyone about it.”

Ian smiled then looked down at his food, remembering the reason why he asked her here. He didn’t feel to comfortable talking about it in public but time was going to run out.

Ian can’t even tell someone he trusts his plans, how is he going to be able to follow through with it?

Maybe he was just a coward after all.

 

By the time they were ready to leave the diner, they weren’t ready to leave each other. Ian still hadn’t brought up his plan, and the two of them had no clue when they’d speak again.

Time was really running out now and Ian was silently panicking as he walked Mandy back to her car.

“Guess I’ll see you around?” Mandy smiled at him despite the sad tone in her voice.

Ian frowned slightly, “I don’t want to say goodbye again.”

Mandy laughed softly, confused by the sudden confession, “What do we do then?”

“Are you busy tonight?” Ian wondered, Mandy shook her head.

“No, why? Are you?”

Ian actually thought about it but nothing came to his mind

“No, don’t think so,” he replied, “How about you show me this new apartment of yours?”

“That sounds good!” She lit up again, “But should we stop at your place in case it turns into that thing where you end up sleeping the night after you had no intention to?”

“We haven’t had that happen since we were 17,” Ian chuckled, “But yeah, why not.”

 

They went by Ian’s first and he quickly ran inside to grab a few things. He was lucky the only people home were Frank and Liam. He wasn’t sure why Frank was being let in the house, but he didn’t have the time to care, and Frank didn’t acknowledge Ian’s existence anyway.

So he called it even, running back to the Jeep. 

Mandy drove like a lunatic and Ian felt nervous yet curious as to how someone as small as Mandy could manage to drive this thing. He tried to not focus on the road or her driving and sung along to the radio instead.

They were finally at her place about 15 minutes later. The apartment complex was pretty old but the interior of the lobby was modernized. It was bright, white with wall features and indoor plants. There was even a café! Ian didn’t realize how much he was missing out.

He had a roof over his head though, his money could go towards something far more important.

Like finding Mickey, for instance.

They got into the elevator that was just as glamorous, even the roof was mirrored.

“What should I be expecting here?” Ian had to wonder, watching the elevator rise to the 8th floor.

“My apartment?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s nothing special. It’s slightly modern, industrial, I guess?” Mandy tried to explain, “It’s home, and that’s the part that matters.”

“True,” Ian agreed.

The elevator stopped and opened at their floor. They stepped out and Ian felt overwhelmed with pride. He was just so, so proud of Mandy.

“Don’t freak out if it’s a bit messy,” she warned with a nervous laugh as they stopped at her door.

She unlocked it and walked in, Ian following behind.

It was pretty decent for one-person space wise. It was modern with that rustic twist. The feature walls of the apartment were brick and wood panels ran across the roof. It was open yet comforting and dark in that cozy kind of way.

The mess wasn’t even as bad as Mandy exaggerated, just a few left over food containers and empty coke cans. None of that generic fake coke. Actual Coca-Cola.

“Make yourself at home!” Mandy told him, “I’ll just tidy this up.”

She tidied up what Ian felt wasn’t a big deal but thought it was the best idea not to question her. He offered to help but she told him to just go sit down.

He threw his bag onto the brown pleather couch and shrugged off his coat, jumping onto the 3 seater and just sinking in with a sigh. He can’t remember the last time his butt sat on something this soft and comfy.

Making himself at home like Mandy said, he turned on the TV and kicked his shoes off, resting his feet on the coffee table.

Ian didn’t focus on the TV and just looked around the room. It was just so Mandy. From the paintings, the books and even video games. It just felt like Mandy and it made Ian so comfortable. It were as if Mandy were his platonic soul-mate.

What was it with Ian and finding his soul-mates within the Milkovich household?

Mandy came running out of her room a moment later with track pants, a hoodie and fluffy socks on with her hair tied up high in a bun. She finally looked like the Mandy he knew.

She turned on the heater even though Ian wasn’t that cold.

“You going to relax and hang out with your best friend now?” Ian requested, rather needy. She was keeping him on edge, he just wanted to hear all her new secrets, and wanted to tell her all of his.

“Wait I just gotta feed the cat—Do you want a drink?” She offered as she shuffled her feet across the wooden floor to the fridge.

“Cat?” Was Ian’s only response, sitting up properly with surprise.

“Water, beer or coke?” Mandy asked.

“Water is fine.”

She grabbed both of them waters and closed the fridge, making her way over.

“Yeah, I have a cat,” she passed him his drink as she sipped her own, “His name is Jasper, I rescued him.”

“Can I see him?”

“Yeah, of course,” She smiled and put down her drink before going into her bedroom.

Only a second later she walked over with a ginger cat the size of a 6-month old baby. He looked old but well-loved from the little chubbiness he had.

He was so placid in Mandy’s arms, his purring loud as his tail did that happy-twitch thing.

“This is Jasper,” she introduced, “Jasper, this is Ian.”

Ian laughed and stroked the cats soft head before scratching under his chin. He pushed himself so hard onto Ian’s fingers he nearly fell out of Mandy’s grip. Ian picked him up and slouched on the couch, placing the cat upon his chest.

Jasper started kneading his paws into Ian as he settled down. Ian held back his wince from the sensation of the claws but kept patting him. The cat’s deep green eyes looked so content in his new home.

“Yeah he’s like 10 years old so he’s extra cuddly,” Mandy smiled and sat next to Ian, patting her cats head, “If he wasn’t so old I would’ve named him Gallagher after you.”

“I was about to say, he looks familiar,” Ian chuckled, screwing his nose up when the cat pressed his wet nose against his cheek.

 

The two friends spoke for hours, eating takeaway pizza with TLC playing in the background. It had been a great night, Mandy asked to paint Ian’s nails because she was bored and he couldn’t resist the temptation, then she showed Ian her guitar and Ian played the only song he knew how to play—Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.

It seemed as time moved so quickly, the sun was completely set and the moon was shining right through her balcony window. Ian sat on the floor with Jasper sprawled out on the soft rug. He patted the cat some more, trying to think of a way to start his sentence.

Mandy lit her cigarette and exhaled gracefully. Typically, she would smoke outside but it was getting too cold to be fucked with that.

Ian held out his hand for the smoke and she passed it, he took a long, deep drag before passing it back.

“Wow, craving nicotine?” she smirked.

“Well I’ve been trying to cut back a bit. I’m trying _not_ to die before I’m 30,” he laughed, as did she.

Ian sighed and looked down at the ginger cat who was asleep now.

He hesitated, smirking at how his stomach fluttered, the words were ready to slip.

“I’m going to get Mickey back,” He told her without fear.

Mandy froze and Ian stared at her hoping for a good response.

“What the _fuck—”_

“I’m dead serious and _please_ don’t pin this on my bipolar. I’m sane, seriously,” He assured her, getting off the floor. She jammed her cigarette into the ashtray, she needed to concentrate for this conversation.

“How are you going to manage that? You haven’t seen him since prison.”

Ian bit his bottom lip hard, “about that…”

“What the hell have you been hiding Ian?” she spoke, intrigued.

“When he got out, he got in contact with me,” He began, sitting on the coffee table to face her, “He told me he was going to Mexico and gave me the choice to go with him or not.”

“And you didn’t?” She assumed.

“Well, I didn’t make it over the border,” he told her with so much shame in his eyes.

“You ditched my brother at the border? Shit, Ian,” she sighed.

“I know, I know,” Ian sighed, pressing his face into his palms, “That choice has kept me awake every night for the past year.”

“Did,” Mandy paused, licking her lips, “Did you at least talk?”

“When I dumped him?” he looked at her now, “No. I told him I loved him, that I was sorry and that this wasn’t me anymore. I couldn’t take these risks anymore.”

“You never take risks,” she grinned, “and hey, I don’t blame you for not doing it.”

“Thanks,” Ian sighed again, feeling a bit of that guilt lift off his chest, “Just, I hated the way it felt to say what I said. I was thankful he made it over the border but it just didn’t sit well. I felt like I should’ve been in that car but it was too late—then I came home and found out Monica died—”

“Monica’s dead?” Mandy’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, you might’ve known if you picked up your phone once in a while.”

Mandy looked down with guilt, she knew she should’ve been there for him. His soft freckled hands grabbed onto his best friend’s cold fingers.

“Hey, but it’s okay,” Ian assured her with a soft smile, “I just need your help now.”

“How?” Her brows furrowed.

“I need your Milkovich expertise,” he smirked, moving Mandy’s blonde bangs away from her blue eyes, “I need advice, also.”

Mandy looked down again, “You want my honest advice?”

“Please,” Ian whispered.

She sighed, “my advice is to think this through before making a mistake,” She told him honestly.

"Weren't you the one who said that just because I'm born here, doesn't mean I should end up here?"

"Yeah but this isn't _exactly_ what I meant." 

Ian's look of disappointment ached her, but she had to be honest.

“No one can find him…How can you do it? What if he’s living a great life and has forgotten you?”

Ian stayed silent, looking down at the floor now.

“What if he’s angry at you? How are you planning to pull this off?”

Ian tensed, his eyes stinging as if he already hadn’t pictured the worst.

“Fuck, Mands,” He pushed his face into his palms again, “I just want him back. I miss him so much my heart hurts.”

Mandy looked at her best friend with so much sadness. She knew what this was like, but she wanted to know he was in the right headspace first.

“Of course I’ll help you figure it out, but he fought hard for you in the last few years that you were together. He went to prison _because_ of _you_. How the fuck are you going to top that? How are you going to make him believe he should take you back? How far are you willing to go?”

“I’ll go as far as I have to,” Ian told her with slight triumph, still believing the fight would be easy. He pulled out his phone to pull out the piece of paper hidden in his phone case and showed it to her without saying anything.

She decided to finally shut up.

She wanted Ian to bring her brother home.

 

They decided to move into the bedroom and do research on Mandy’s MacBook. Ian held a notebook between his hands with a pen to jot down important facts. The both of them were tucked under her soft, warm bed sheets as they brainstormed.

“Where do you think he could be?” Mandy asked.

Ian chewed on his lip as he thought, “He always mentioned the beach, so wherever there’s beach”

“That’s great. That only leaves us with the entire coastline of Mexico,” she exhaled, taking a sip of her coke. Ian tried not to be discouraged.

She continued to speak, “Mickey and his fucking beaches,” she muttered.

“What?” Ian grinned, wanting to know what she meant.

“When we were kids he used to always ask dad if we could go away for the weekend to the beach. Dad would say yes but by the time the weekend came around he had forgotten and would go to the bar instead.”

She looked down, her eyes displaying some form of pain as she continued.

“One weekend, Mickey had enough of his lies and confronted him. Dad beat him badly. I can still remember the sound of his screaming. I was only eight years old.”

“Shit,” Ian muttered, feeling terrible. Mickey never talked about his dad to this extent so he had no idea.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you had Fiona who took you to do fun things. Our brothers were either in jail or had better things to do.”

Ian wrapped his arms around Mandy and kissed her shoulder. Mandy smiled and rested her head on his, holding onto the arm sprawled across her chest.

“I’m so sorry,” Ian whispered.

“It’s in the past now,” she shrugged it off, “Let’s not get distracted.”

Ian tried to recover from the images of Terry smacking a dark haired child black and blue, keeping on track with their research.

“Well being a fugitive he wouldn’t be at touristy locations,” Ian commented.

“Very true,” Mandy hummed, researching ‘ _places to live by the beach in Mexico,’_ and then,  _‘small beach towns Mexico’._

The search wasn’t being narrowed down by much.

“Literally every town with a beach has tourists,” Mandy spoke with slight frustration.

Ian tapped his fingers against the notebook as he tried to think.

“Hang on,” Mandy muttered to herself, typing in,  _‘dangerous places to live Mexico’._

A smile crept onto Ian’s face as he read the search. Finally, they had found what they were looking for.

More Dangerous = Less Tourists 

A list of places came up and the two of them searched and crossed out the places that weren’t by a beach, which cut the list by half.

Ian wrote the population count for each state next to the names instead of crossing the highly populated ones out because who knows, maybe Mickey was hiding in a town with millions of people.

“That’s still a lot of places to search,” Mandy became increasingly concerned.

“Oh well, it’ll be worth it.”

Mandy nearly snorted, “It better be.”

Ian’s phone suddenly started to vibrate against the bedside table. Instead of looking at it, he ignored it.

“It will be,” he spoke with determination, making his best friend grin.

“How are you going to get the time off work?”

“I’ll figure out something, maybe I can use my bipolar as an excuse. Finally, something good to come out of this disease,” he laughed to himself, but Mandy didn’t laugh with him.

“You better be careful out there, being a white boy in a place of drug-lords and gangs will be rough.”

“Ah, don’t worry,” Ian acted as if it was nothing, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Mandy let it slide, but knew Ian had no clue what it was actually like out there.

His phone vibrated again hard against the bedside table, Ian quickly became aggravated.

“Who the fuck—” he grabbed his phone and looked at it, “Shit!”

He quickly jumped out of bed, answering the phone.

“Hello?”

Mandy stared, confused, before curiously searching _‘Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich’_ to see if any news was out there. There wasn’t any, besides articles speculating that he might be dead.

Milkoviches were good at staying hidden, so she wasn’t worried.

“Where the fuck are you?” Trevor’s voice harshly bled through the phone.

“What are you talking about?” Ian furrowed his brows.

“You were meant to come over tonight!”

“Oh, _fuck,_ ” Ian placed his hand on his forehead, hating himself for forgetting.

“What’s wrong?” Mandy wondered about Ian’s sudden panic.

“What are you doing? Are you going to come?”

Ian stared over at Mandy with a smile to say, ‘don’t worry.’

“No,” Ian responded, “I can’t.”

“You can’t? Shit, if you’re fucking someone else just let me know now before—” Trevor’s voice cracked.

“It’s not like that, okay?” he tried to assure the upset man, “My best friend from High School met up with me and I got carried away. I’m at her place in Chicago and I’m staying here.”

“uh huh,” Trevor responded, not believing a single word, “You could’ve at least told me instead of leaving me feeling like shit,”

“Listen, I’m sorr—”

The phone hung up and Ian huffed, shutting his eyes to prevent an oncoming headache.

_Fucking unbelievable._

“Who was that?” Mandy asked, taken aback from the dramatics of Ian’s life.

“Nobody, just my boyfriend.”

Ian quickly texted,

_'Jesus Christ I said I was fucking sorry. I'll make it up to you tomorrow. 7pm. Be there, or don't. x'_

Mandy smirked at the use of _Nobody_ to describe his _boyfriend_.

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, Trevor,” he sighed, throwing his phone onto the bed, “he’s nice and all but he’s a bit defensive and can’t take a joke, like at all.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Mandy asked as if Trevor was a plague.

“Nothing! I mean, he’s transgender—not that that’s a bad thing!” Ian instantly corrected himself, “It’s just that he’s been through a lot and so things get to him a bit differently.”

Mandy couldn’t believe what she was hearing, pulling out a cigarette from her pack and lighting it.

“Has he had the surgery?” She wondered, just genuine curiosity.

“Top, yeah. Not bottom. He’s also, not a bottom.”

“Jesus,” she exhaled smoke through her nose, “You went from my brother, to hot black fireman, to _this._ ”

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Ian tried to ease her into believing it was okay.

“I thought you hated vagina?”

“That doesn’t matter, I don’t _touch it_. he wears a strap on and he always tries his best to cover it.”

“You let him fuck you in the ass with a dildo?”

Ian shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Do you like it?” she continued to question the relationship, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“No,” Ian told her with straight up honesty, “Not as much as I thought I would.”

He leaned over and grabbed the cigarette off her, taking a drag and sitting back on the bed. Honestly, the only person who gave him satisfying sex was Mickey. They just knew each other’s bodies so well.

In between the silence and Ian’s binge-smoking, he knew there was nothing he could do to prevent hurting Trevor.

Ian wanted to have the happiness he desired with Mickey.

He wasn’t happy or fulfilled with anything in his life anymore.

Not since he left Mickey at the border.

“I should probably break up with him, shouldn’t I?” Ian asked, even though it was rhetorical.

“Yeah probably,” Mandy responded, “I’m sure he’s cool or whatever but he just doesn’t  _match_ you, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” He sighed, passing back the half-smoked cigarette, “you make perfect sense.”

 

They decided to take it easy the rest of the night and just talk it out. They talked about Trevor more in depth and came back to Mickey. Mandy gave some more advice for Ian to soak up. He also shared his scenarios of when they met again and Mandy enjoyed them, even making some up of her own.

They wondered together about what he was up to and if he was happy. Both had their doubts, too.

Mandy made a promise to Ian that they would keep in touch this time around and Ian was grateful. He had missed this girl more than anything (but not as much as he missed Mickey, obviously) and was just so happy they were talking again.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day, so he tried his best to sleep.

It was like an exhilarating rush.

Tomorrow was when the plan was officially going to begin.

_**Step 1:** Break Trevor’s heart. _

No matter how hard it stings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if any language used in this chapter upset anyone. Being realistic with uneducated characters can be a bit harsh but you have to stay true to the character so I hope you can understand :) x
> 
> All comments/kudos are so loved and appreciated. Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

Ian woke up to his alarm the next morning, pressing at it desperately to turn off. It took him a second to remember where he was, smiling at Mandy who managed to spoon Ian in her sleep.

He closed his eyes for what felt like a minute and woke up to the sound of his second alarm ringing.

Mandy groaned, rolling off Ian to lie on her side of the bed.

Ian’s eyes felt so sore and tired, he definitely didn’t get enough sleep. They didn’t decide to actually sleep until about 4am.

He continued to ignore the iPhone’s generic ringtone.

“Oh my god, turn it off!” Mandy complained, blocking her ears with her fingers.

Ian sighed and finally opened his eyes, turning the alarm off. He rolled onto his back and squinted at his phone screen. Trevor finally replied to Ian’s message.

‘ _I’ll be home at 7:30’_

No kisses or anything. His anger might make breaking up with him easier.

He sat up realizing he didn’t have long to shower, get ready and go to work. It was so cold in the apartment now compared to last night. The windows were frosting up from how cold it was. Ian knew it would probably snow either today or tomorrow, just in time for Christmas.

_Christmas_ Ian sighed, clearing his tear ducts. He would have to leave for Mexico afterwards.

“Mandy” Ian whispered, shaking her arm

“Fuck off” she muttered

“I have to go to work, where are your towels?”

Mandy rolled over and stared at him, clearly annoyed. She wasn’t used to waking up this early, she only worked at night. She honestly felt bad for Ian having to be up this early.

“They’re under the sink in the bathroom”

“Thanks” Ian smiled, kissing her forehead quickly before getting out of bed, letting the cold air strike his body.

Mandy grabbed her phone and Ian furrowed his brows.

“You can go back to sleep now I’ll be okay” he told her

She shook her head “I’m awake, besides it's fucking freezing”

Jumping out of bed to put her robe on, she shivered and headed out of the room to turn the heater on.

“Want coffee? Toast?” she offered, Ian nodded

“Coffee and toast sounds good”

 

Ian was showered and dressed in about 20 minutes. He sat with Mandy at her beautiful glass dining table for breakfast. Despite being in the center of the city, it felt so quiet in this apartment.

He ate and took his meds in front of Mandy with a hint of embarrassment. Mandy smiled though, she was proud of him for accepting his disorder and managing it.

Hell, she was proud of everything he had become.

“Fuck I only have a couple days to get a new script” Ian muttered, mostly to himself.

Mandy just stared as Ian took a sip of his coffee.

The hot coffee was burning Ian’s tongue, but the way it warmed up his insides genuinely made Ian feel better.

“I’ll make an appointment to go to after work”

“Good idea” Mandy smiled at him “How long do you think it’ll take to find Mickey?”

Ian shrugged “A couple of months? More, maybe?”

Mandy had a tight smile, hiding her worry “How long does a script last?”

“About a month, why?”

“Do you think your doctor will give you more than one refill?”

“I’m not sure” Ian breathed “I’ve been doing really well though so she might trust me”

Mandy didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want her doubts to come across as if she thought he was sick like the rest of his family believed.

“I’ll figure it out” he muttered

Ian left her brother for the sake of his health and this amazing job he had, Mandy wanted to make sure that he would maintain those parts of himself while on this journey.

He walked away for a reason.

He needed to put himself first.

He needs to continue taking care of himself and be stable in order to have this plan work.

It made Mandy nauseous to think she would betray her brother like this, but she had to admit that no matter how angry it made her feel, Ian did the right thing at that border.

Mickey was a lost cause because _he gave everything up for Ian_. He needed to find himself.

She didn’t want to see Ian end up like Mickey, she wanted them both to live a good life. _Together_ or _not_. They both had to know their self-worth is just as important as their love for each other.

But they had to figure that out on their own, they both were far too stubborn to listen to reason. She shook off her worry for now and moved onto another topic.

“So” Mandy mumbled, swallowing her food “You breaking up with what’s-his-name-is tonight?”

“Yeah” Ian popped the last bit of his toast in his mouth “He seems mad at me so it might actually make it easier”

“God, you must be happy to finally get that piece of shit off your back” She snickered, sipping her coffee.

“Happy, sure, but I’m still scared of how he’ll react”

“How will he react?” Mandy wondered

“That’s the thing with Trev, he’s either all or nothing. So, he’ll either go nuts or will just be like _‘okay, whatever’_ ”

“Hmm” Mandy tapped her acrylic nails against the glass “Good luck”

“Thanks, I’ll need it” he chuckled

Ian swallowed as much coffee down as he could, standing up to put his dishes in the sink and helped his best friend clean up.

 

Mandy grabbed an apple, washing it and drying it on a dish towel and passed it to Ian who was packing up his backpack, making sure he had everything.

“Have a good day at work, honey” She joked, acting like a housewife

Ian laughed and kissed her cheek, grabbing the apple.

“I will” he promised, walking out the door

“Text me!” She yelled

“I will!” he promised again, yelling back as he walked to the elevator.

Mandy closed the door and Ian took a deep breath. He tried not to think _too much_ into the fight that would most likely happen tonight.

 

It had been a long day for Ian and he had a few more hours before he could head to his appointment and prepare himself to face his upset boyfriend.

Ian wasn’t sure if it was because he was going to dump him, but Trevor was being worse than usual. Ian texted him multiple times and was either ignored or was sent short, sarcastic replies.

_Tonight was going to be fun_.

He knew Mandy was worried and had doubts. She didn’t have to say anything, the two of them could read each other like a book. He could tell Mandy was uneasy about it all.

He tried not to let that affect his judgement too much, though. He knew he was doing the right thing, because he was thinking it through.

His head felt far too clear in order for this to be mania.

Ian’s phone vibrated in his pocket and pulled it out to find a message from Trevor.

Speak of the devil.

‘ _You bringing food?’_

For some reason that frustrated Ian. He didn’t want the night to drag on. He wanted to break up with him quick, have their relationship end fast like ripping off a Band-Aid.

“Is there a problem?” Sue questioned

It wasn’t until that moment that Ian realized he was brooding intensely. He returned to reality, remembering he was on the way back to the station after dropping off their patient.

“Uh, yeah” Ian cleared his throat, watching the road.

Sue smirked, not believing a word he said. She stayed focused on the road.

Ian stared at that text once more, feeling his frustration continue to bubble.

“You’ve had a fair few relationships, right?” Ian asked out of the blue

“Yeah, so?” she casually responded

“Well, have you ever been in a situation where you realize you’re still madly in love with your ex, but you’ve been with your current boyfriend for a while, so you’re scared to leave him?”

Sue let out a loud laugh “Never—I don’t dwell on my ex’s”

“Okay but what if that ex gave you something no one else has ever made you feel? Like, what if he did nothing but _care_ and _love_ and _understand_ you. He filled you with excitement, he fought for you and stood by you unconditionally. You two were like _partners_ in crime—”

Ian shut up, realizing he was talking too much.

_He’d defy the whole galaxy just to be there in your arms under the moon._

“Sorry” he shook his head, trying to keep his head in the zone.

Sue laughed, but continued the conversation.

“Depends” She shrugged “What does the current boyfriend do for me?”

“He’s loves you and he cares, but he doesn’t understand. He fights _with_ you rather than _for_ you. He manipulates you, probably unknowingly, but he’s a good guy with an average life. He’s good for you—while the ex is chaotic and dangerous”

“Wait, so you’re saying that the _only_ reason I’m with this guy is because he’s _normal_?”

Ian hesitated as he noticed this “Yeah…”

“Look Ian, I don’t know exactly how dangerous this ex-boyfriend of yours is, but it seems like he was good for you”

“Yeah but he’s not good for himself and that’s why I left him, because that would reflect onto me” he argued

“But you regret it?” She looked at him curiously

Ian bit his lip, admitting “I regret it every day”

“Then it sounds like you need to go find this ex of yours and help him be good for himself. It seems like that’s what he did for you”

Ian had just noticed that, as well.

He didn’t know how to respond, so he quickly texted Trevor back.

_‘Yeah’_

“How many boyfriends have you had since this guy?” Sue had to wonder

“Only two” Ian replied

“In how many years?”

“two years, I guess?”

Sue shook her head and sighed.

“Honey, there’s a reason why I don’t dwell on my ex’s. It’s because they weren’t the person I was supposed to be with, or I found someone who treats me better. You’ve had two relationships since him and you’re _still_ in love with him.”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat. He felt all that regret from leaving Mickey sink into every pore in his body again. It weighed him down.

“Yeah” Ian sighed with some form of grief “No one can replace him. I can never get him off my mind. He _is_ my partner in crime, no one replaces how it felt with him”

“Sounds like you’ve found your _soul-mate_ , Gallagher” She teased, laughing

“Fuck off!” he laughed loudly with her as they pulled up into the garage.

Ian thought for a second before continuing his venting session.

“I think the main thing is that I grew up with him so we know almost everything about each other. I have no clue who my boyfriend is, I always zone out when I talk to him and—This is embarrassing to admit—but I always forget his last name”

“How can you forget his last name?” She continued to laugh

“I honestly have no idea! It’s so easy to remember but” Ian pursed his lips “I think I’m bored”

Sue huffed “Yeah, I know what that’s like. I can’t stand dating _normal”_

_Gallagher’s don’t do normal._

“I feel you” Ian chuckled “I feel like a hurricane standing next to Trevor”

Sue stared at her (secretly favorite) co-worker, not knowing what to say despite the thousands of sentences running through her head.

“So, what’re you going to do about Trevor then?”

Ian puffed out his chest, feeling confident.

“I’m going to break up with him”

 

The waiting room of the clinic always made Ian anxious. Little kids played with toys in walk ways, someone always got into an argument and there was always someone with a contagious sickness who thought sitting next to the pale red head was the best choice, coughing and spreading their germs into Ian’s personal space.

He shook his leg with anticipation, reading all of the posters and signs on the walls. This place always reminded Ian of those years and years of medical visits with Fiona and the quickly-growing Gallagher family.

“Ian Gallagher?” The family Doctor, Harper Finnegan called out.

Ian jumped up fast, glad to get away from the busy waiting room filled with sick people. He followed the doctor into her room and took a seat, answering her small talk with a smile.

“Time for a new script already?” she asked, bewildered by how fast the month had gone.

“Yeah, I know” he laughed “I still have a few days’ worth but I want to be on top of it”

“Just like I told you to” her brown eyes crinkled as she smiled, proud of him

Ian nodded and moved his eyes to the poster behind her to read about flu vaccines. As if he hadn’t read that poster every visit before this one.

“How are you feeling anyway?” Dr. Finnegan wondered “is the dosage you’re on still working for you?”

“Yeah I feel great” Ian assured her “My head is clear, I sleep every night now and I’m thinking about my decisions. I’m not doing anything… _crazy_ ” Ian felt a tinge of awkwardness shiver through him

“That’s good! That means we’ve got the right dosage” she responded, typing up the script.

“Yeah, for now” he mumbled with a bitter huff

The Doctor tucked her ash-brown hair behind her ears as she pursed her lips.

“For a while” she corrected “As long as they keep working and your body doesn’t adjust to them to the point where you relapse then you’ll be fine”

Ian just hummed to agree as she passed over the script.

“Anything else you wanted checked?”

Ian sat up straight in his chair to look Dr. Finnegan in the eyes “Actually, I was wondering if you could print out a certificate saying that I’m unwell so I can’t work?”

She furrowed her brows “Of course…But what’s wrong with you?”

“Ah” Ian casually shrugged “Nothing but I have a lot of family shit going on and I need to be there”

It was a lie, but he needed it. It was all apart of the plan.

She smiled with empathy and went ahead to print out the certificate, handing it to him

“There you go”

“Thanks—Another thing” Ian began, feeling nervous butterflies in his stomach

“Yes?” 

“Is it possible to get more than one script?”

Her eyes went from friendly to concerned “Why?”

“I-I’m going away for a few months with friends from work and I want to make sure I don’t run out of meds”

She sighed, tapping her pen against her cheap plywood desk “Ian…”

_Shit_.

“My job is to make sure you’re healthy and not in danger. Maybe some other GP who was careless would do that with their patients but morally, I just can’t.”

“Why not?” Ian became defensive “What would be dangerous about it?”

“I don’t want to say I don’t trust you because I do, it’s just—Ian, you’re on heavy medication, and lots of it. If you were to become severely depressed and you had access to _that_ many pills, it’d be lethal”

Ian knew there was no way he could argue with a Doctor about this, so he bit his tongue and just nodded. He didn’t look at her incase his agitation caused him to act out. He had to control himself.

He could not be seen as crazy.

“Well, I guess I’ll figure something out” he smiled at Dr. Finnegan and got up “Thanks”

Now, Ian needed a different plan to get the meds. Ian was going to have to test his limits, and do something he never thought he’d have to do.

But first, he had a break up to prepare for.

 

Ian showed up at Trevor’s house at 8pm with a grocery bag full of food (basically, drinks, spaghetti and his neighbor Veronica’s homemade meat sauce.) He didn’t want to knock on that door, he felt so scared of his reaction.

Honestly, he hoped they could stay friends. That’s what they really should have been this whole time.

Just as he went to knock, the door flew open to reveal a wild-eyed Trevor standing in front of him.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, trying not to be intimidated.

“How’d you know I was here?” was the only response he could think of.

“Because my porch light turned on, you dick” He pulled him inside by the collar.

Ian stumbled inside, feeling his heart beating harder inside his chest.

_Fuck, he looked mad._

Trevor closed the door, pushing Ian hard against it. Their lips slammed together and Ian squinted his eyes tight, pulling away with difficulty. He needed to breathe.

“C-Careful” Ian breathed “You’re going to make me drop the spaghetti”

Trevor laughed and pushed off Ian “Since when do you care about cooking dinner?”

Ian was stunned, unable to find the correct words. He was both offended and confused.

“What!?” His voice pitched “Did you think I wanted to come over for a hate fuck?”

“Well I think it’s natural to believe that _you owe me_ for not showing up last night”

Ian scoffed and stormed to the kitchen to place the bag down, Trevor followed close behind.

“You know what? You keep the spaghetti” Ian spoke harsher than he intended.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Trevor said with distaste, reminding Ian of when he broke up with Mickey the first time around.

_‘what the hell is wrong with you?’ Mickey spoke, cold. Broken._

_‘Too much! Too much is wrong with me! That’s the problem, isn’t it? Too much is wrong with me. You can’t do anything about that, you can’t change it. You can’t fix me ‘cause I’m not broken. I don’t need to be fixed okay? I’m **me!** ’_

Ian closed his eyes and remembered to breathe. He opened his eyes and turned to him, towering over him as he approached.

They stood, faces only inches apart. Ian stared at the fire growing inside of those dark brown eyes.

“I don’t owe you _shit!”_  Ian shoved him and Trevor instantly pushed back.

“You didn’t tell me—” Trevor raised his voice to argue but Ian yelled over him

“I was at a friend’s house!” He exaggerated his voice “I hadn’t seen her in two _fucking_ years! I wasn’t going to skip the opportunity because who knew when I’d see her again! I love her, she’s the only best friend I have that isn’t my own fucking brother!”

“Clearly you love her more than your own boyfriend, huh?”

Ian laughed bitterly, this was too much “You’re fucking unbelievable”

He made his way back towards the door, he couldn’t take it. He needed to cool down.

 “Where are you going?” Trevor grabbed his wrist and turned him around, pinning him hard against the arch of his kitchen. Ian grunted, coughing as the impact was harder than expected.

Trevor slammed his lips back to Ian’s as if this were a game to him. Ian squirmed trying to escape, but the tension was too much.

Their tongues twined and Ian gripped his waist and spun him around, pinning him down twice as hard, his lips pressing to Trev’s neck.

Ian was suddenly pushed off, Trevor exhaled with a smirk. Surprised by Ian’s reaction.

“You’re no stranger to this, are you?”

Ian remembered the moment he and Mickey were alone for the first time since his escape. So much lust and anger between the two of them.

_‘I knew you’d come’ Mickey spoke with confidence, walking up to Ian quickly._

_Ian stood, knowing what was to come._

_‘I knew you’d come’ he repeated, Ian threw his cigarette to the ground_

_‘come here’ Mickey breathed and Ian moved in for the kiss._

_It ached Ian inside and out, the way their lips magnetized from years of passion and love. All of it sending shockwaves to each receptor in his body. Just the taste of Mickey’s tongue drove him wild, like drinking water after living in a drought._

_He pulled him in hard, just wanting to swallow him._

Just remembering it was making that fire light up inside him.

_Ian shoved Mickey off, the two of them hyperventilating. They were making out so hard they forgot how to breathe._

_‘Fuck’ Mickey huffed_

_‘You think my life hasn’t moved on since you were locked up, Mickey?’ Ian spoke, that rage rising through him_

_‘Nah I just thought you’d be down for me since the whole reason I did time was for going after the bitch who tried to ruin you’ Mickey argued_

_‘I’m not pissing away my life—’_

_‘Stop’ Mickey spoke softly, shaking his head as he embraced Ian for another kiss._

_Ian just sunk into it, feeling his insides twitch and melt as their tongues touched so perfectly. Nothing had made Ian feel this way in ages. Nothing._

_He shoved Mickey off again, trying to resist him._

_‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed, feeling that frustration continue to build._

_Why did he have to come back now?_

_Why did he have to show up when he thought he could finally move on?_

_‘I have my shit together, Mick! And I-I have a—a fucking boyfriend!’_

_He was talking to himself more than he was to Mickey by this point_

_Mickey smiled in disbelief ‘boyfriend?’_

_He paced towards Ian and shrugged ‘kay, what you doing here then?’_

_Ian knew why, he just didn’t want to face the reason **why**. _

_‘Hmm?’ Mickey raised his eyebrows, taunting him._

_Ian gave in to his impulse, rushing up to smash their lips together again. He needed Mickey in every sense of the term. He missed him, he loved him so much he **hated** him and he just wanted to remember that what he and Mickey had together was not just a dream. _

_It was real._

_And still is._

Ian wished he was arguing with Mickey rather than Trevor right now.

“Why are you just standing there?” Trevor continued to flirt, snapping him out of his reminiscence.

He moved closer and got a grip of Ian’s hard length from the outside of his jeans. Ian shoved him back into the wall by the neck, holding the hand Trevor gripped him with above his head. Ian leaned in to continue the kiss.

They made out so aggressively one of them was bound to bleed. Ian’s anger rose, thinking about how Trevor was making him feel like he was working at the Fairytale again. He only wanted him for sex.

Ian pulled away, feeling his anger fill his eyes with tears.

“I’m not some _twink._ I’m not some _boy-toy_ you can use to your disposal” Ian muttered through his teeth, smacking Trevor’s head against the wall harder to get a better grip of his neck.

Trevor let out a grunt, laughing. He wasn’t taking Ian seriously.

“C’mon” he began, his voice shallow “I probably have a matching golden thong in my room somewhere”

Ian felt his heart ache at that sentence.

_How dare he_.

Ian came to his senses and backed off the man, not wanting to give him what he wanted. He didn’t deserve to feel like a worthless whore.

It actually hurt him to think the guy he was supposed to trust would not only be so possessive, but use Ian for a good fuck and use something Ian hated about himself against him.

He even felt a bit nauseous.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Trevor furrowed his brows, watching Ian cover his mouth with his hand as he slowly took a seat on the couch.

Ian actually felt the need to run away. Not just for Mickey, but for himself. He wanted better.

“Dude?” Trevor tried to get his attention “Are we not doing this now?”

Ian brought himself to look at the man standing there with his arms up as if he paid Ian for a service he wasn’t going to receive.

“No” Ian told him dully

“And you call me the sensitive one” Trevor mumbled, sitting next to Ian.

“Hey” Trevor placed a hand of Ian’s cheek and Ian instantly pushed him off.

“Don’t” Ian responded bluntly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal” Trevor tried to justify himself “It’s okay, we don’t have to fuck. I’ll make the spaghetti and we can watch a Van Damme movie”

“No thanks” the reply was fast and simple. He still didn’t look him in the eye.

“Alright then let’s talk about it” Trevor suggested “If you didn’t cheat, who was this friend from high school?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ian smirked “always about you, isn’t it?”

Ian was about to say ‘I never cheated on you’ but that would be a lie.

“Look, I’m just trying to have a conversation here”

Ian sighed “Mandy Milkovich” he now met his eyes to Trevor’s “Happy?”

“Milkovich?” Trevor scoffed “Like your ex...Mickey?”

“Yeah. She’s his sister” he told him, pulling out his phone to show a selfie they took last night to prove he wasn’t lying.

“Shit” he muttered “sorry”

Ian put his phone away and sat up properly. He had no doubts anymore, he knew this had to be done regardless of what was happening.

“I have a confession to make” Ian began, Trevor’s eyes widened with worry.

“What?”

“You know when I randomly disappeared for a few days and didn’t answer you?”

Trevor bit the inside of his cheek, picking at his cuticles.

Ian assumed his body language meant ‘yes’

“I was with someone” he continued, watching Trevor’s face empty of emotion.

Trevor hesitated as he simply asked “who?”

Ian took a deep breath “Mickey”

Trevor looked down with a hurt smile “You didn’t tell me?” his voice shook

“I’m sorry” Ian whispered “I wanted to but I came home to the mess of my mom’s death and I _needed_ someone. I’m thankful I had you”

The man next to him let out a tearful laugh “You’ve got to be kidding me! I fell in love with you!”

“I-I know” Ian felt his throat grow hoarse, trying to not let himself get too emotional.

“Do you still love him?” He wondered

“I’m so sorry” Ian whispered instead of answering

“Fucking answer my question” he sniffed, looking into Ian’s eyes

“I-I do” Ian choked, confessing “I love him”

“ _fuck_ ” Trevor breathed, looking at his feet

Ian took a deep breath and grabbed his phone out, deciding it was best to book an Uber out of here.

“I’m booking an Uber, okay? I’ll be gone soon”

He stayed silent, Ian chewed on his lip anxiously.

The Uber couldn’t come soon enough.

“You going to go chasing a fugitive now?” Trevor asked with no tone in his voice

“No” Ian lied “But I can’t be in a relationship right now”

“Fair enough” Trevor cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, getting up “Thanks for the spaghetti”

“Trev—”

“Don’t” he stopped him “don’t try and be all ‘let’s just be friends’ with me. You cheated on me!”

“I never said I cheated!” Ian tried to defend himself

“Oh, please” He scoffed “You _love_ him, you spent three days with him. You can’t tell me you didn’t fuck at least once”

_It was more than once…and less than 25._

Ian didn’t know how to respond, choking on his words.

His phone rang almost violently, scaring Ian as he quickly answered.

“H-Hello?” he paused “Okay I’m coming out now”

Ian hung up the phone and jumped up, making sure he had the stuff he needed on him.

“I have to go, okay?” Ian told Trevor who shrugged him off, walking to the kitchen to make the spaghetti Ian was leaving behind.

Ian sighed. He did feel horrible, no matter how much you love or don’t love someone, leaving them is always hard.

He made his way to the door, opening it to feel the cool Chicago wind nearly push him back.

“Hey Ian!” Trevor called out

Ian turned around to look at him.

“I hope you find the jackass and live happily ever after! You’re meant for each other, you're equally fucked!”

Ian stared soullessly, walking out and slamming the door hard behind him as he walked down to the Uber.

He didn’t feel so bad anymore.

In fact, he felt more prepared than ever.

The plan was in full effect, and he was now going to think about his next move with ease.

He was ready to leave this fucked up town.


	5. Chapter 5

The snow was slowly coating the streets by the time Ian made it home. He stepped out of the warm Uber to feel the chilly wind numb all of his senses.

Ian's street was dark and dimly lit, but the baby blue home lit up wonderfully, welcoming Ian home after the crazy night he had, but he didn’t want to be home.

He sighed and walked through his chain-link gate to find himself stopping at the top of the steps. He wasn’t prepared to face anyone, he decided to sit at the front of his house instead, listening to Frank and Lip argue over who could eat the last bit of chicken.

Honestly, he felt like he was in a bar-fight. All his bones ached, the fight with Trevor really took a lot of built up energy out of him. He didn’t regret it and had no remorse for his actions but it was catching up to him now. Not in an emotional way, but a physical way.

He needed rest.

For Ian, he hadn’t done anything spontaneous or wild since Mickey and with the little sleep he got the night before he felt exhausted.

He probably wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

Ian rubbed his cold hands together in order to warm them up before pulling out his cigarettes, placing one in his mouth and lighting it up, the smoke filled his lungs and he instantly felt calmer.

Doctors always recommended people with bipolar disorder mediate and live according to a strict schedule.

Ian wasn’t good with strict, but cigarettes and coffee were his form of meditation.

The cold was slowly freezing Ian all over but he didn’t seem to care, his mind going over what was next for his plan and how he’d get there.

It was this kind of night that made him miss Mickey. His warmth, his smell, and the way he’d just let Ian wrap himself around him to whisper a soft ‘I love you’ in his ear.

Winter was when Ian and Mickey found each other in a way they thought wasn’t possible.

Winter was when Ian realized he loved Mickey.

Winter was when Mickey saved Ian from damnation which took the form of a nightclub filled with hand jobs, pills and mania.

Winter was those days with Mickey where they sat on the couch with the heater on, a blanket over them and fresh hot coffee warming their hands as they fought over the TV remote.

Now winter was just bitter and cold.

He remembers the feeling of waking up next to him for the first time on a snowy day. Mickey was staying with Ian for a while and Fiona woke up everyone in the house to go enjoy the snow while it lasted—This was before gentrification was settling in and the block of land next door hadn’t become a community garden.

Mickey was as cold as the snow at first, not willing to participate but after Ian threw a snowball at him, it didn’t take long for Mickey to warm up. He interacted and enjoyed being a part of the Gallagher family on their not-so-crazy days.

Ian was so happy that day and was so proud because that was when Mickey started to accept who he was.

Ian is still proud of who he is. Criminal and all.

He was still the shit talking, bitch slapping piece of south side trash he fell for.

Fiona’s silver four-wheel drive pulled up in front of the house and Ian wanted to avoid her attention, but the second she got out of the car with her arms filled with files of paperwork she noticed Ian’s tired posture and furrowed her brows with worry.

She approached the middle Gallagher child with caution as she locked her car.

Ian knew she was worried about him, especially recently, but Ian couldn’t be fucked covering his exhaustion up with a fake smile anymore.

“Ian? What are you doing outside? it’s fucking freezing” she told him, as if he didn’t know.

“Ah” Ian shrugged, inhaling his cigarette “Just needed time to think”

“Oh yeah? How come?” she wondered, resting against the railing to the house.

“I broke up with Trevor” Ian honestly told her, saying it actually made him smile a little bit.

He probably should feel bad for being happy about it, but he was shameless.

“Really?” She spoke with surprise “I thought you liked him?”

“Clearly not as much as I thought I did” 

“This isn’t like when you left Mickey is it? Where your disease makes you pull dumb shit?”

Ian smirked distastefully, looking at the frizzy-haired brunette

“Nah, I’m good. Don’t worry, I went to Dr. Finnegan today for a check-up and got a new script. All decisions I’m making are sane” he assured her

“Good” she smiled in that caring way she did before moving onto a lighter topic

“I had a rough day too” she tried to empathize “this interior thing is hard. Found out there’s thousands of different carpet colors, styles and textures. I can’t make up my mind”

“Sounds fun”

“Yeah” she laughed “apparently there’s a difference between London Fog and Bayport”

Ian just nodded along, as if he were supposed to care about carpet.

“Anyway” Fiona moved on, quickly realizing Ian wasn’t interested “Come inside soon, okay? You need some rest”

“Yeah, I will” Ian smiled and Fiona kissed his frozen cheek before running inside.

Ian finished his smoke and flicked it out of his fingers, deciding to go inside and take a long hot shower before getting in on some left overs before bed.

 

Falling asleep that night was easy for Ian, he didn’t have to remember to text someone goodnight or worry about replies. He just listened to music until he drifted off.

He knew he was dreaming when he found himself back at that border. It was similar to all the dreams he had before making the choice to plan an escape to be with Mickey, but there was a slight difference this time.

The difference was that they were happy and there was no heavy feeling weighing down on Ian’s conscience.

The Mexican sun was hot and they were in the car, just passing the border.

_Mickey shined gracefully, his smile bright and his laugh light-hearted as Ian said something funny._

_“Bet you have no doubts now” Mickey smirked, looking Ian up and down in that flirtatious way that drove Ian crazy._

_“I never had a doubt, Mick” Ian assured him, his smile honest and soft “not about you”_

_Mickey just smiled, watching the road._

Suddenly, they were at a house facing the beach. It was an isolated island with no one but themselves.

The house was white and bright, windows wide open to allow the warm wind to sweep in and relax them both as they settled onto the couch.

For some reason, Mandy’s cat Jasper was happily snoozing on an arm chair, but Ian kept his focus on Mickey.

_“Can’t believe we did all this” Mickey huffed, noticeably emotional “We’re free”_

_Ian scooted closer to Mickey, tracing his jawline to make him look Ian in the eye. The bright blue made him ache._ Ian noticed they were both wearing wedding rings.

 _“I love you, Mickey” Ian told him with as much love his heart would allow,_ very different to how he had said it at the border in real life.

_Mickey’s eyes traced from Ian’s eyes to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss among Ian’s bottom lip. Ian pulled him on top of him, straddling his hips as they continued to enjoy their loving kiss._

_“Daddy!” a five-year-old blonde boy yelled, running over._

_Mickey jumped off and grabbed the boy from under his arms to lift him up above his head. His smile so genuine Ian teared up._

Ian realized the boy was Yevgeny, Mickey’s son.

_They were a family, they were happy._

That was when Ian woke up wishing he could fall back asleep to continue the dream but he couldn’t. The last time Ian had this type of dream was when he was still with Mickey in the early summer of 2015.

It was painful to remember that all Ian wanted back then was to have a stable family and be financially secure with Mickey, but he ruined that.

Ian always happened to ruin his own dreams, that’s why he stopped reaching for them.

But this dream filled his heart with that determination again, it was never too late to try again. He couldn’t sit here and do nothing, he had to track Mickey down.

Of course he was a bit too optimistic, but could you blame him? His heart was filled with hope, he felt something sparking in him he couldn’t even describe.

Of course he also had his doubts, he knew there was a possibility Mickey had moved on, had a boyfriend and was just soaking up the sun with sand between his toes.

The thing about that idea that made Ian not lose hope was the fact that Ian always came back to Mickey whenever he’d show up again, regardless of how life was—sure, Ian left him the last time—but he was sure what he and Mickey had was never going to really end.

Deep inside he knew Mickey would return the favor and let Ian love him again, even if it took months or years. Ian wasn’t giving up this time.

He tried to keep sleeping but couldn’t keep his mind off Mickey and what was potentially out there for the both of them.

He needed to get started.

 

So he got out of bed, it was about 5am but he felt well rested. He quickly brushed his teeth and got dressed, downing his medication before running out the door.

It was dark enough outside that the street lights were still on, but Ian didn’t care. He had no time to waste.

He started to run down the street towards the place he hadn’t gone past in years. The cold morning made it possible for Ian to see his own breath with every hard exhale. He was secretly terrified of seeing that place again and remembering the memories. Both good and bad.

Turning the corner there it was, standing tall and ghostly as Ian walked out from under the L tracks.

The Milkovich home. Mickey’s home.

It looked deserted and had a haunting touch that gave Ian goosebumps.

The house wasn’t how it used to be, whatever warmth or danger it held was gone.

Maybe no one lived there anymore, or maybe was just a place Ian couldn’t call home without Mickey and Mandy in it. It just wasn’t a home. It was an empty shell.

Ian stopped at the gate and just stared at the front door of the old brick home.

He was scared to walk up to that door. His Fight or Flight response was telling him to walk away, just like it did at the border, but Ian didn’t want to be that person anymore. He couldn’t stand knowing he pussied out of something that could’ve changed his life.

He left love because he was too scared to Fight.

He had to stop being a coward now.

He had to Fight.

He pushed the gate open, racing up the steps to the door. It was all too familiar to him, this feeling. It reminded him of the time Monica came back to town and Ian ran to Mickey for comfort.

_‘What the fuck!’ Mickey exclaimed, shocked to find Ian at his door._

_‘I need to see you’ Ian told him, looking pedantic_

_‘Not a good time’ Mickey replied sternly_

_‘I-I don’t know where else to go’ Ian stuttered, clearly shaken up._

_Mickey instantly softened for the Gallagher ‘I thought you were working today?’_

_‘Linda’s gonna have my ass, I’m supposed to be there now’ Ian continued to panic_

_‘I’ll meet you there in 20’_

Ian banged at the door aggressively, his heart beating fast into his throat. He was worried no one would be home but he needed help. He had to find Mickey.

The door swung open fast to reveal Svetlana’s snake eyes looking tired and pissed off.

‘Do you know what time it is?” Her heavy Russian accent growled.

 Mickey was forced to marry Svetlana after Mickey’s dad caught Ian and Mickey having sex. It was the worst thing to witness, both physically and emotionally.

Ian still felt the sting of Terry's fist, he remembers Mickey screaming _‘Get the fuck off him!’_ and he definitely remembers the sight and heartache he felt when Svetlana rode Mickey and he fucked her to climax and got her pregnant.

He witnessed the whole thing, but he doesn’t hate Svetlana for that. All three of them were victims of Terry’s disgusting behavior.

Svetlana and Mickey weren’t really married though. It turned out Svetlana had a husband in Russia, she may have killed him though, no one is really sure.

“I know but I need to ask you something” Ian calmly responded

He quickly recognized the small two-year-old blonde boy rubbing his tired eyes behind his mother and smiled brightly.

“Hey Yevgeny” he waved, the little boy suddenly glowed.

“Ian!” he said with excitement, running up to Ian who scooped him up and gave him a big hug.

“How you been mister?” he asked, admiring his gorgeous blue eyes. They were Mickey’s eyes.

“Good” he nodded, poking Ian’s nose carefully.

Svetlana was smiling but her eyes showed caution. She never trusted Ian with the young boy after Ian’s mental breakdown where he took off with the baby Milkovich.

“What you want to know?” She asked with broken English.

Ian stayed distracted by the young boy speaking baby-talk

“Oh yeah? That’s good” Ian replied to his gibberish

“Ay, carrot boy!” Svetlana snapped to catch his attention

“Oh yeah, sorry” Ian shook his head, passing Yevgeny to Svetlana.

“I’m just curious if you know where Mickey is?” he asked somewhat casually.

“No, why would I know?”

“Because you’re a Russian con-artist who can keep secrets and he’s the father of your son”

“You think he gives shit?” she laughed coldly “I only do what’s good for me and Yevgeny. I don’t care about him”

“What, you haven’t heard from him at all?” Ian wondered with worried eyes

“No, I don’t give shit about him, he doesn’t give shit about me or baby”

Ian frowned slightly “Alright then”

Mickey did care for his son, Ian knew that, but Svetlana would never believe him.

“Can we go sleep now?” she wondered

“Yeah” he smiled slightly “Are his brothers around though? Do you think they’d know?”

“They haven’t been here for a while. They fuck off to some place so cops won’t be on their ass. Makes it easy to do crimes”

“Right” Ian sighed, this made things much harder now

“Sorry I can’t help”

“It’s fine, just don’t tell anyone I asked”

Svetlana smirked, knowing Ian’s plan instantly “No problem”

Ian smiled and waved goodbye to Yevgeny before Svetlana closed the door in his face. He walked down the steps slowly, glancing back at the house quickly as he closed the gate behind him.

That wasn’t helpful, and Ian didn’t trust anyone else he could ask. If Mandy doesn’t know and Svetlana doesn’t know, then no one knows.

 

He walked back into the house and felt his stomach grumble at the smell of pancakes and bacon. He took off his jacket and beanie to embrace the warmth that flowed through the house.

Ian thought he was imagining things when he saw a red-headed girl serving plates of food to Lip, Fiona, their youngest brother Liam and even to Frank—but he wasn’t imagining anything. Debbie was here.

His little sister was here and that made his heart warm, he never saw her as much as he liked.

“Debs!” Ian beamed, she turned around with a big smile on her face

“Ian!”

They shared a tight hug, swaying back and forth. He missed her.

“You hungry?” she asked, returning to the stove

“Starvin’” Ian admitted with a smirk before his eyes darted to the stairs where his younger brother Carl come stomping down with Debbie’s little girl, Franny, on his hip.

“Yo, your baby’s shit fucking stinks” he remarked, after obviously changing her diaper.

Ian stood still, waiting for Carl to notice him.

“Carl! What did I tell you, she’s going to start talking soon!” she stormed over, grabbing the pale ginger from her brother “Say ‘ _your baby’s poop fudging smells’”_ she corrected, putting Franny in Liam’s old high chair.

Carl rolled his eyes and smiled at Ian “Are you not going to say hello?”

Ian grinned and ran up to his brother that looked so similar to Fiona, wrapping his arms around him and lifting him off the ground.

Carl laughed and hugged him tight, slapping his back the way ‘bro’s’ do.

“Why’re you home?” Ian wondered “No more Military School?”

“I’m home for Christmas, I’m going back soon after though”

Ian was proud of Carl despite how much it hurt Ian to know his brother is living the life he lost the chance to get. Carl was once the criminal of the family and was similar to Mickey in many ways, but then his ex’s dad got him on the straight and narrow. Now Carl wanted to fight to protect his country.

If it weren’t for Ian’s stunts when he first became manic, then he would probably be on the battlefield right now, but he’s accepted the fact that this type of stuff happens for a reason. Carl was a good kid, and would be a passionate fighter.

At least one of the Gallagher’s would be something great.

Ian enjoyed his breakfast with his family and slowly it only became Debbie, Franny and Ian that sat at the table—Carl was taking Liam out to get presents whilst Lip and Fiona went off to work.

Ian wasn’t worried about presents. He was the type to buy his presents early.

“Do you have work today?” Debbie asked as she spoon-fed her daughter.

“Shit, yeah. Not till later though” Ian suddenly remembered

“That’s alright then” she smiled kindly

“Yeah, what about you? Found a job yet?” he asked, genuinely wondering

“Nah, too hard close to Christmas” Debbie exhaled “It’s okay though, I have a friend and he’s going to help me get a job working for his dad”

“Welding stuff?” Ian continued to ask questions

“Yeah” Debbie smiled brighter now “It’ll be good. I can start putting money away for Franny”

Ian smiled admiringly. Debbie is an amazing mother. If you leave out how the child was conceived and the fact Debbie was only 15 when she got pregnant, then you’d notice just how great of a mother she is. She’s better than Monica, and somehow better than Fiona in many ways.

Franny clapped her hands and stared at Ian with those big brown eyes of hers. Ian smiled at the baby girl and stroked her cheek softly with his finger. He couldn’t even believe he was an Uncle.

Thinking back to work stuff, he remembered something about Debbie which could be helpful to him.

“Hey Debs?” he looked at his sister

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you can still forge signatures like you used to?"

 

Ian walked into work in his normal clothes and a note in his hand. He wanted to get everything sorted today, and this was the first thing he had to do.

Sue noticed him and brooded “Gallagher? Where’s your uniform?”

“I need to talk to you” Ian straight up told her  

She hesitated, tightening her ponytail “What?”

“I need a few months off”

He passed over the note, watching her eyes read over the words. She looked at Ian like she didn’t want to believe him, but she couldn’t refuse it.

“This is for more than a few months” was her initial reaction

“I-I know but I need to adjust to the new meds” Ian lied, keeping his eyes on hers

She breathed deeply and nodded.

There was nothing she could do about it. It’s illegal to fire someone because of a mental illness or disability. She couldn’t have Ian working if he had any bad side effects from new medication.

Luckily Ian wasn’t Pinocchio and could pull this off without seeming like he was faking. He felt bad because Sue really trusted him, but he just had to.

“I’ll miss you” she smiled and they shared a quick friendly hug

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too” Ian smiled back

“I hope you can come back soon”

“Yeah…We’ll see” Ian made himself appear optimistic.

They said their last goodbyes and Ian walked out of there triumphant. There were only a few more things left to do before he could start packing and preparing for going away.

 

The second thing he had to do wasn’t hard, it was more the nostalgia from it that was hard. When he was with Mickey and realized he wasn’t capable of going over that border, he went to the bank to withdraw all the cash he had saved from the past year to give it to Mickey.

He opened a new account when he got home, and saved money again. He wasn’t sure what the money would be for, but he always saw it as something he had just in case he decided to follow through with going to Mexico. Lucky for him, he needed that money now for that exact reason.

Ian walked into the bank and groaned to himself at the sight of the line of people.

He was feeling a bit impatient today, a line wasn’t exactly what he wanted to deal with right now, but he stood in the queue anyway. It wasn’t like he had another choice.

Just waiting in that line reminded Ian of the last time he took out the cash.

_Ian wasn’t telling Mickey what his plan was and walked into a somewhat empty bank and started filling out the withdrawal form, writing a note saying to close the account._

_Mickey pulled on his balaclava and Ian quickly pulled it off._

_Ian forgot that when Mickey was angry and determined it was like babysitting a toddler, you had to keep an eye on them to stop them from making a stupid mistake._

_‘Put. The mask. Away’ He told him off sternly, passing the mask back “You’re already on camera”_

_Mickey clearly hadn’t thought it through and took a proper look around, noticing the security guard and the cameras._

_‘Fuck’ Mickey muttered as Ian continued to fill out his form_

_‘Alright’ Mickey had a new idea ‘Look, you cover the rent-a-cop and I’ll go get the money’_

_He tried to walk off and Ian pulled him back to face him. He couldn’t make Mickey relax, he didn’t want to say what he was really doing._

_‘I’ll handle the teller, alright? We do this my way. No guns’ he ordered, trying to keep his cool while Mickey stayed on edge._

_Ian finished his form, ignoring whatever Mickey was saying about threatening the bank teller._

_They made their way up to the teller and it was excruciating, Ian calmly told her to read the note whilst Mickey stood on lookout._

_‘You want this in cash?’ she asked, Mickey instantly responded before Ian had the chance_

_‘No we want you to pick out fucking stocks for us, move your ass’_

_Ian just breathed through it, he wanted to tell Mickey what he was doing but he didn’t want Mickey to question him and then have to break his heart so soon. Ian didn’t take the time he had with Mickey for granted._

He really thought he was doing the right thing

_‘Swipe your card please’ the teller instructed Ian who pulled out his wallet_

_‘What the fuck?’ Mickey was clearly confused_

_Ian swiped away and the teller told him she’d be a few moments. He turned to Mickey with a look of sadness and concern._

_‘You didn’t actually think I was going to rob the place’ he whispered_

_Mickey’s eyebrows darted high in that impeccable way he did and nodded_

_‘I have a savings account’ Ian told him softly, turning back to the teller at the computer._

_‘You got a bank account?’ Mickey questioned with disbelief_

_‘Been working for a year’ he told him_

_‘This is all the money in your account Mr. Gallagher, are you sure you want to close it?’ the teller double checked._

_Ian looked at Mickey, knowing this was the right thing to do. It’d set Mickey up to live a good life in Mexico. Not one bone in Ian’s body made him feel like this was the wrong thing to do. For the first time ever, Ian looked at money and knew it didn’t matter to him._

_Mickey mattered more and he deserved the best._

_He smiled at the sight of Mickey’s blank stare before turning to the teller._

_‘Yeah. All of it.’_

Ian eventually made it to the teller and placed his form in, going through the exact same process. Ian was to be a ghost to this town for the second time in his life.

This time was for a good reason though, it was to be with Mickey, not to escape him.

He walked out of the bank with a wad of cash and felt nothing but good feelings about it.

It was the next part of his plans for today that was really going to test his limits, but first, he was going to need help.

 

When Ian found himself at home alone, his savior showed up a moment later. He grinned and tightly hugged Mandy before they went to Ian’s room, closing the door behind them.

Mandy smirked looking around the room, not much had changed. It still smelt like teenage boy body odor and Ian’s posters covered half the walls.

Only difference was Liam’s corner had a bed and things that tied to his pure personality.

“So, what’s up?” she wondered, sitting up on the bunk bed, swinging her legs like a kid.

She was looking far more casual today, wearing converse and an oversized hoodie.

“Not much. Broke up with Trevor last night”

“You did it? Congrats” she grinned

“Yeah, it was a bit of a shit show but I’m glad it’s over”

“I bet”

“What about you?” Ian wondered as he sat on his bed

“Nothing” she chuckled “Unlike you, the past 24 hours was boring”

“Hmm” Ian picked at the lint balls stuck to his blanket “I asked Svetlana about Mickey, she has nothing”

“Why would she know anything?” Mandy furrowed her brows trying to understand

“I don’t know, it was worth a shot—I also got the time off work, and took all the money from my account”

Mandy jumped down from the bunk “Wow, you’re really following the list”

“Yeah, I hope to be out of here by the 26th” he looked up at her “I couldn’t risk leaving before Christmas”

“That seems fair” she sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, holding his hand

“what about your meds?” she continued

Ian bit his lip, exhaling “That’s why I asked you to come here, I need your advice”

She lifted her head, looking at Ian with slight fear “What do you mean?”

“She wouldn’t give me the scripts”

“ _Fuck_ ” she breathed “How am I supposed to help?”

Ian hesitated, biting his lip,

“I need to break into a pharmacy, and with your experience I think you could tell me how”

 

* * *

  _Mexico_

 

The loud pumping Spanish music had people dancing, even Mickey who was busy taking orders behind a local family-owned bar.

Despite it being a winter night, it was still warm from the humidity and the amount of people in the room. It was only Wednesday so it wasn’t packed to the point where you couldn’t move, but all the local drinkers were enjoying a few drinks after a long and hard day.

He lived in a very populated area but it was rare that visitors came through due to the homicides and drug trafficking in the city.

Somehow, Mickey felt comforted by that.

Mickey loved his job. He had never thought that he would enjoy bartending, but at least it was something normal. He was still trying to find something else he really enjoyed and could do for a living that wasn’t illegal.

A man staggered in with his dark hair, brown eyes and tan skin. Mickey’s smirked, admiring his height and buff tattooed biceps. He nodded to the man who instantly beamed.

“Mikhailo!” Andrés thick accent called out with enthusiasm as he walked behind the bar to say hello

Mickey served the man a shot of tequila and passed it to him

“I told you not to fuckin’ call me by my full name” Mickey told him off, he pressed a kiss to Mickey’s cheek.

Mickey didn’t even flinch

“It feels weird calling you Mickey, you aren’t a mouse. You’re cute but you could literally murder somebody” he laughed, downing the shot

“Dilo de nuevo y te trago la polla” Mickey told him trying to be smart

André grinned, watching the people sitting at the bar laugh

“What’s so funny?” Mickey demanded to know

“Pendejo, do you even know what you saying?” a somewhat old man asked

“Yeah ‘say that again and I’ll shock your dick down your throat”

“Nah uh” the man shook his head

“Shh!” André raised his fingers to his lips, still dragged into that perfect grin.

Mickey stared dead-eyed at his boyfriend “You told me ‘Dilo otra vez y te hago tragar tu verga’ was wrong”

“Yeah, Google Translate says it’s wrong” André laughed at himself

“What the fuck!” Mickey exclaimed “What have I been saying?”

The old man told him whilst André kept laughing “Say that again and I’ll swallow your dick”

“Fuck—” Mickey rolled his eyes before slapping his cackling boyfriend over the head “Now no one is swallowing your dick tonight, Andy”

“Ah, come on” he whined “Maybe you should go to that ‘Learn Spanish’ class?”

“No thanks, fucked for life man. I’ll deal” he assured him, wiping down the bench.

The old man placed down his tips for Mickey before saying goodbye and leaving, allowing the couple to get closer. André wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist from behind, kissing his neck.

“You’re not fucked for life, mi amor” He whispered, pressing a light kiss to his neck “When do you finish?”

Mickey smirked and shrugged him off, trying not to make a scene “Not for another three hours”

“Well you’re finishing early”

Mickey would’ve argued with that, but André’s family owned the bar so he couldn’t exactly fight it.

“Ay mami! Mickey puede irse ahora?” he yelled to his mother who was serving tables

There was something so amazing about being around Spanish-speaking people. He’d rather not know what they were saying. He enjoyed the mystery.

 

They pulled up to André’s house moments after leaving.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a house. It was a huge mansion right by the ocean. Mickey tried not to question the fact his boyfriend was a millionaire when all the family had was their bar and local jobs.

When they first met André told him it was just inheritance from his great uncle and Mickey pretended to believe it.

He’d rather pretend to believe it and stay ignorant to the whole thing. He was finally happy with no worries in his life. He didn’t want to suddenly create any worries for himself.

Mickey got out of the black BMW and just stared up at the three-story white beauty.

It was massive, it had about 8 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. Mickey couldn’t believe André lived here all alone, but if Mickey had the money he probably would live alone in a mansion too.

They walked through the large wooden double doors and Mickey was embraced by the air conditioning and the 9 month-old chocolate Labrador running down the hall.

“Hey boy!” Mickey bent down patting the dog all over as he licked at Mickey’s face.

André and Mickey rescued the brown lab when it was dumped at the doors of the bar. They named the boy ‘Chico’ because of how small he was even though he was much bigger now.

André bent down beside Mickey to pat the dog who instantly pounced onto his other father.

Mickey got up and screwed his nose up as he wiped the wet kisses off before making his way through the tall arches toward the kitchen.

Chico came running into the open kitchen, living and dining area to catch up to Mickey. André stomping in behind him.

Mickey’s boyfriend and the dog played tag, Chico barking and panting at André as Mickey tried to find something to eat in the fridge.

“Can’t find fuck all to eat in this fridge” He muttered, grabbing a beer out instead.

He cracked the beer cap off and took a glug of the refreshing beverage.

André came over to Mickey in the kitchen, puffing and panting as he tried to catch his breath. He grabbed Mickey’s beer from his grip and took a sip.

Mickey raised his eyebrows as if he were offended and threatened.

André held a cheeky grin as he passed the beer back. He loved riling Mickey up.

“Did you not eat lunch?” He wondered, Mickey nodded his head

“Yeah, a sandwich. Unlike you backwards people who have dinner for lunch, I want my dinner now.”

André rolled his eyes “We have dinner too you know? It’s just something small like soup or toast”

“I’m American. I like food”

“Alright grumpy I’ll defrost some of mami’s pasta sauce” André gave in to Mickey, going to the freezer to pull out the sauce and cook him some dinner.

Mickey smiled proudly at his success.

 

Mickey swore he was going into a food coma when he was still full hours after eating the generous amount of spaghetti his boyfriend made him.

They sat outside on the couch, Mickey laying down with his head in André’s lap as he relaxed his stomach. The two enjoyed the warm night and the sound of the ocean. André played with Mickey’s soft black hair as they talked about whatever came to mind.

Then André stopped patting the raven hair, Mickey looked up at him with concern.

“What?”

“Sit up, I got you something” He told Mickey nervously.

Mickey sat up, slightly scared “What the hell did you get me? Christmas isn’t for another week”

“Hold on” He got up and ran inside, leaving Mickey waiting impatiently.

He came back out with his hands behind his back. Mickey smiled at how cute he looked from being so excited. He was similar to Mickey in that rough exterior, soft interior kind of way.

He sat down, his smile wide as he passed over the small box wrapped in ‘Feliz Navidad’ wrapping paper.

“Merry Christmas!” he cheered, his accent giving it an even sweeter touch.

Mickey chewed his lip as he grabbed it, shaking it slightly “Not going to lie, I’m nervous”

“Just open it!”

Mickey smirked at his boyfriend's stare of anticipation and ripped it open, finding a black box.

His heart sunk as butterflies rose. He thought it was an engagement ring but quickly let that thought fly away. The box was more for a wrist-watch rather than a ring.

And it was far too early in the relationship to get married.

His palms shook slightly as he opened the box, finding two keys on a keyring.

_No way._

“Mick, mi amor” André grabbed Mickey’s hand “Would you like to move in with me?”

Mickey looked into those dark beautiful eyes with a soft smile “You want me to?”

“Of course! I love you, and there’s plenty of room for you here”

Mickey wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pressed his face into his shoulder. André ran his hand up and down Mickey’s back and made a soothing noise.

“I guess that means yes?”

“Yeah” Mickey pulled away and looked at him “Yes, it’s a fucking yes” he laughed happily.

The two shared a kiss, soft with that hint of tongue to get them wanting to pull closer but Mickey pulled away.

“Te amo” Mickey whispered

“Te amo” André repeated, agreeing on their love as they sunk in for yet another kiss.

Their kiss was tender now. Mickey found it was perfect, he did love André but it broke his heart to realize it wasn’t as powerful as his love for Ian was. But he was happy, his life was moving forward.

His boyfriend was the only one Mickey trusted, they knew a lot about each other (even Mickey being a fugitive) and André protected him from the danger of living in a corrupt city as a white American.

Mickey fought him off a lot in the beginning. Sure he could look after himself, but not knowing Spanish made it hard when he went through small towns full of natives and people who didn’t speak English.

André pulled away slowly with a grin “How about you let me fuck _you_ for once?”

That was an issue that came between them in the beginning. André was a top, and Mickey lied saying he was also a top too. Only because he didn’t trust anyone the way he trusted Ian. Mickey liked to make sure the guys he was with knew he was boss.

He was sure André knew that Mickey was boss by now.

Mickey smirked “Fine” he gave in, swiping his thumb along his bottom lip slowly

“Just because it’s a special occasion”

* * *

 

_ Chicago _

 

Ian was shitting himself. It was about 15 minutes past midnight when he watched an innocent man go for a late walk. A reusable grocery bag and baseball bat in tow.

He couldn’t allow himself to feel guilty. This had to be done. It was all a part of the plan.

The man walked around the corner and Ian made sure the empty street showed no sign of life and ran over to the car that sat parked in front of the house.

The man who went for a walk was a guy that worked late at the fire department with Ian’s ex Caleb, Ian knew he was south side and struggled to support himself because he was paying for child support and his grandmother who had dementia's debt.

That’s why Ian was trying not to feel guilty, but he wanted to make sure the person he stole from wouldn’t be home. He couldn’t risk being caught.

He also knew his car didn’t have an alarm since the only conversation Ian really had with the man was him saying ‘ _literally anyone could steal this piece of shit, it has no alarms and it doesn’t even lock’_

Why someone from the south side would trust a large group of people with that information, Ian had no clue.

He put any of the stuff that was in the white pick-up truck onto the man’s front lawn and got into the crappy vehicle, noticing that the wires were already exposed—This clearly wasn’t the first time someone took this car.

The engine started with very little effort and Ian revved a little bit before putting his seatbelt on. He took off the hand-break and drove away, making sure to go a route completely different to the way the man walked.

 

He pulled over in the street before the main road where the pharmacy was. He hopped out of the car, making sure no one was around as he quickly pulled the number plates off.

Most people would be thinking Ian was ill again, but he wasn’t. He was thinking it all through and had a plan for every outcome.

Even if he was manic he wouldn’t have pulled the plates off, would’ve stolen the car while the man was home and would’ve rammed through the glass of the pharmacy without his face covered, leaving fingerprints behind.

Most importantly, he wouldn’t be trying to steal his medication.

Ian realized that even sane, you can still go a bit crazy.

He got back in the car and took a deep breath, smirking at the way his heart was pumping from the adrenaline. It was like Mickey was possessing him to help him become this _fearless_.

He pulled out the balaclava from the reusable grocery bag and put it on his head. He was already in all black clothing, and slipped on some black gloves as well.

It was time…

 

Ian turned onto the street and pretended to reverse-park into a spot in front of the pharmacy. It was a dead area of town and literally no cars were in site.

Ian put on the brakes and made sure he was lined up with the pharmacy. He wasn’t exactly religious but he prayed for this to work.

He drove forward a bit so he could fly through the security door and glass with ease. He moved the car into reverse and started his countdown.

3…2…1

He slammed onto the accelerator, shutting his eyes as he flew back over the gutter into the pharmacy security door. The sound of the impact frightened Ian more than the actual situation he put himself in.

God, Mickey better take him back.

He knew he had to be quick and drove forward and backward over and over until there was a decent amount of damage.

Crashing into the barricade once more, he quickly grabbed his torch and turned it on, placing it in his mouth as he jumped out with his bag and baseball bat.

He shoved the security fence open and banged at the already cracked glass, allowing it to completely shatter.

He cleared any of the glass in his way and quickly ran into the dark store, trying to ignore the loud security alarm ringing violently and painfully in Ian’s ears.

He ran to the back of the store where they kept the meds and quickly searched for what he was looking for.

There was no time to be diligent with this. He put all the boxes of the meds he needed into the reusable bag, thankful they were all stocked close together and ran out.

He wanted to leave money behind for the costs of the pills and damages but Mandy told him it wasn’t a good idea because they could find his prints.

When a Milkovich tells you not to do something when it comes to a robbery, you’re best to listen.

Ian jumped into the truck and sped off, not even removing the gloves or balaclava.

 

He pulled into an isolated area by the deep riverbank that ran into Lake Michigan. He grabbed his bag, the plates and baseball bat, leaving the hand-break off and the car in drive as he hopped out.

Breathing in the crisp cold air, Ian took a moment to gather his thoughts. What he had just done was insane, but he was nowhere near finished.

If only Mickey were here to see the risks he was taking.

Ian pressed the accelerate slowly with his palm. Once the vehicle gained momentum Ian got behind the truck, pushing it with all his strength.

Once it approached the steep decline Ian pulled away, watching the car roll into the river, slowly sinking down.

Ian pulled off the mask and gloves now, putting them in his back pocket. Astounded and somewhat proud of himself for being successful in something.

The truck sank to the bottom and Ian walked away, not looking back.

 

The stars weren’t that visible, but he could see more than what he could at home. It made him smile, remembering his last night with Mickey.

Ian walked further up the riverbank like Mandy told him too, with his torch on so he could see and under an old shingle oak tree where Ian’s backpack sat.

He almost ran over, rummaging through the bag to pull out the change of clothes, lighter fluid and matches from the front pocket.

Maybe it was a bit extreme, but he had to be safe.

Ian quickly changed his clothes into something a lot more casual than the sleek black outfit and searched through the back pocket of his backpack for his smokes. He found two beers and grinned, taking them out before he kept searching.

Once he found them, he opened it to find something even better.

A joint and a note from Mandy

He put the note in his pocket to read after and used a match to light the blunt. The taste and sensation relaxed him better than a cigarette would in this situation.

 _God Bless Mandy Milkovich_.

Ian put the boxes of medication into the backpack and gathered the clothes, gloves, balaclava, number plates, reusable bag and even the bat, placing it in a perfect pile by the river.

He squirted a generous amount of the lighter fluid (the whole canister) onto the pile of evidence which would now be Ian’s greatest intentional crime, throwing the can on top as he grabbed the matches again.

Using the joint between his lips, he lit the match.

The flame that embraced the match glowed bright and Ian made a wish upon it, watching it closely before flicking it onto the pile.

He didn’t flinch as the fire engulfed the pile.

Ian didn’t even notice how cold he really felt until the flame’s warm surrounded him.

Grabbing one of the slightly cold beers, he sat down on the ground near the fire.

He cracked it open and took a gulp, not even realizing how badly he needed it. He inhaled more of his blunt and pulled out the note Mandy wrote him.

The fire was so bright he could read it without the torch.

_‘Ian,_

_If you’ve found this, then that means you successfully committed a serious crime!_

_Congratulations!_

_I’m proud of you, and Mickey would be too._

_I really hope you find him, if this wasn’t enough proof that you can pull this off then I don’t know what is._

_You’re almost at the finish line now._

_Good luck over the border!_

_I love youuuuuuuuuuu_

_From your one and only,_

_Mandy x_

_PS.Enjoy the beer and weed, you’ll need it._

_PPS. Burn this note, and the torch too if you haven’t already.’_

Ian smirked and folded it up. He was so thankful for her.

He just sat there, relaxing and appreciating his new success, looking up at the stars through the smoke hoping his wish would come true.

 

Both beers were only bottles now, the alcohol sitting happily in his liver and bladder.

He groaned as he stood up, pulling his backpack on.

Ian grabbed the note and torch, mentally saying goodbye before staring at the fire that was burning away and slowly shrinking as the evidence became nothing but ash.

_This is for you, Mick._

He threw in the last two pieces into the flames and walked away towards the road where he knew he would have to walk a fair way home.

His head was held high. He knew this was all worth it.

No matter the consequences.


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone was sleeping peacefully in their beds on that ice cold Christmas morning. Nothing but silence spread through the house, all the Gallagher’s cozy between their layers of bedding and clothing.

It wasn’t until the 8-year-old Liam Gallagher woke up that all the silence disappeared.

He was wide awake and beyond excited.

It was the day!

The youngest sibling that stood out to strangers by his dark skin color rather than his voice slid out of his bed, slipping on the little bunny slippers that had been passed down from his brothers before him.

He felt butterflies storm his tummy knowing that because it was light outside, that meant Santa Claus had visited and dropped off presents.

He walked over to the bunk and tugged on Carl’s leg first

“Wake up!” He told him, a bit too loudly for a Sunday morning.

But Carl just groaned and rolled over.

Liam pouted slightly and ran to jump on top of Ian who instantly jolted awake.

Ian saw Liam on top of him and rolled his eyes as he lay back down, shutting his eyes and tried to fall back asleep again.

“Ian! You have to get up!” He whined, continuing to jump.

Liam was _often_ quiet, but Christmas was his day, and he made sure everyone knew it too.

“Why?” was Ian’s only response as he was slowly sinking back into a peaceful sleep

“It’s Christmas!”

 _Shit_ , Ian opened his eyes, realizing that by this time tomorrow he would most likely be in Mexico looking for Mickey.

He felt nauseous from the anxious feeling that thought gave him.

He grabbed his phone to stare at the time.

“It’s 7am, can’t we sleep a bit longer?” he asked as if some hours of lost sleep would kill him

“No!” Liam declared, jumping off the bed and pulling the warm bed sheets from his brother’s body.

Ian winced at the cold air “Alright!” He surrendered “I’m up!”

Liam smiled wide and ran down towards Lip and Fiona’s room.

Ian stretched his knotted back and stood up, pulling a hoodie on before yanking hard on Carl’s leg.

“I’m up!” Carl groaned with his eyes shut, Ian smirked

“Prove it”

Carl pulled his head up from his pillow, his sleepy face glaring at Ian.

Ian started laughing at how ridiculous his messy hair looked.

“Come on!” He whined, imitating Liam

“Okay!” Carl sat up with the grumpiest look on his face “I might kill you one day. Remember that”

Ian smirked and grabbed his phone to call Debbie who was probably already awake, dialing to make sure she came over soon.

 

Liam ran into Lip’s room next, jumping on him the same way he did with Ian.

Lip didn’t jolt awake, but slowly opened his eyes to the sight of an excited and pure little Gallagher on his bed.

“Shit, is it Christmas already?” he questioned, as if he hadn’t sat up half the night with Fiona wrapping presents to put under the tree for Liam.

Liam smiled wide “Yep!”

“Alright” Lip rubbed his dopey blue eyes before reaching for his cigarettes “Better wake Fiona then”

And he did.

Running across the hall into Fiona’s bedroom, he screamed and jumped onto Fiona who was sprawled across the whole bed.

“It’s Christmas! Santa is here! Let’s go!” He yelled with so much happiness Fiona found it adorable, but couldn’t help her grumpy face that was almost identical to Carl’s from showing.

No one likes waking up abruptly at 7am by an 8-year-old.

Fiona tried to ignore it like Ian, sinking her face deep into her pillow.

“Come on Fifi!” Liam continued to whine

The older Gallagher brothers stood at the doorway, looking sleepy from the sudden wake up call.

Carl, Ian and Lip just stared at their sister’s frustration before exchanging a similar look between each other. They knew what this meant.

They all smirked at each other, running to leap onto the bed to join Liam.

All four of them were now jumping on Fiona’s bed, pleading her to get up.

This was pretty much what happened every year, a classic Gallagher tradition.

Fiona struggled to sit up from the movement on her bed but once she did, she pretended to give in.

“I’m awake!”

They all stopped, Liam was smiling wide at the sister.

She changed her frown to a grin, quickly attacking Liam with a tickle fight. The young boy squealed and laughed uncontrollably.

The other Gallagher brothers were quick to join the tickle-fest. Making sure to stop once the boy went red in the face and was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

 

All five of the siblings stampeded down the stairs energetically after their laughter-filled wake up, not caring for Frank who was trying to sleep on the couch.

“I’m sleeping!” He grumbled, clearly aggravated by the laughter and screaming.

They just ignored him.

“Wow!” Liam gasped at the sight of the presents under their Christmas Tree.

The tree was a fake one that was about 20 years old. It was falling apart and the prickly green ‘leaves’ were malting everywhere from how cheap the quality was.

None of that mattered to Liam though, this was what Christmas was for him. He didn’t know any better and honestly, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Liam ran to the presents, shaking some that were light and was in awe by the size of others.

“Can we open them!?” Liam continued to shout with enthusiasm

“Not till Debs gets here with Franny” Fiona told him as she turned the heater on.

“Jesus Christ!” Frank complained, sitting up completely

“Yeah, it is Jesus’ birthday, congrats” Lip smirked

Frank ignored him, continuing to complain

“You people are too noisy”

“Merry Christmas, Frank” Ian greeted, giving a hard pat to his shoulder

Frank just muttered some nonsense to himself. The siblings all just grinned and made their way to the kitchen where they prepared a light breakfast before their dinnertime feast.

Liam didn’t want to walk away from the presents, but once Fiona had his breakfast ready with some hot-cocoa he just couldn’t resist.

 

Ian appreciated this day. Not so much for the fact that it was Christmas, but because it was the last day he would see his family.

At least for a while, anyway.

Christmas was the one day where nothing crazy really happened. They just spent the day indoors by the heater and just hung out, talking, eating and drinking until they couldn’t anymore.

Ian was kind of glad his last day with them was a day where you’re meant to just relax and stay with family.

Debbie arrived with Franny just after breakfast and they all gathered around in the living room for presents like Liam so badly requested.

Frank played Santa for the first time in a while, he was also sober which made all the difference. Liam had been beaming all morning, and this made it only that little bit better.

He put his Santa hat on and had a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth, giving the day that authentic Gallagher touch that made their family feel special in that fucked-up way.

Frank leant down to the first large gift, squinting as he picked it up, trying to read the tag.

“Okay, Liam! From Santa” He called out

Everyone cheered for Liam who was still carrying that large authentic smile, thanking Frank kindly before sitting down and opening it, revealing the scooter he really wanted.

“Wow! Thanks Santa!”

Ian chuckled at how sweet it was, looking around to admire how happy his family looked. Even Frank, who was puffing away on a cigarette as he handed out more presents.

He was going to miss them all, there was no doubt about it.

After a while, Liam’s gifts were stacked high and he was more than impressed with the remote control car Ian had gotten him.

Ian only had a few presents which was only normal as you get older. He didn’t care about presents that much anyway, it’s the family and food that mattered much more.

Frank reached for a smallish sized present and Lip jumped up

“Let me hand those out!” He told him, rather than requested

Frank shrugged and moved out of the way for the second eldest who grabbed all the presents that looked similar to the smallish one.

Everyone looked at him with suspenseful eyes as Lip handed out these parcels, asking his family to not open them until he said so.

Once one was placed in Ian’s hands, he felt around the gift and smiled to himself at the floppy softness it had. It was some sort of clothing.

“I worked on these for fucking ages so I hope you guys like it” he confessed with a nervous laugh, passing one to Frank.

Frank’s eyes glistened a bit, the only gift he had gotten was a new jacket from Goodwill that said ‘From your kids’ but Lip took the time to make something for the shithead father he hated. That meant a lot to Frank.

“Can we open them yet?” Debbie wondered, trying to hold back the little girl next to her from ripping apart the wrapping paper.

“Yeah, open them!” Lip bit his lip to cover his grin as each Gallagher tore it apart.

Ian unwrapped his and smiled at the burgundy sweater clearly made by hand. He pulled it out and held it in front of him, impressed by the special woven patterns and details.

Lip had been using knitting as a hobby to break away from his drinking habits and by the looks of things, it was paying off.

The Gallagher’s all took the time to appreciate each other’s sweaters and jumped up to give Lip a hug. It was a proud moment for all of them, even for Frank.

He had really taken his time with them. With Fiona’s, it was a deep blue with a Christmas tree. He made Franny’s a soft baby pink with snowflakes and Frank’s said ‘Beery Christmas’ across the torso, giving them all a good laugh.

Lip had to admit that he had help from his friend to get the patterns and stitching to work out, but everyone was still impressed regardless.

 

After the chaos that was preparing the Christmas dinner, everyone sat at the decorated dining table and enjoyed having a good time together with some great food, wearing the amazing sweaters Lip had made everyone.

Lip even wore a sweater he made himself that seemed a little tight, but he didn’t seem to care.

Last Christmas was a bit grim compared to this year, Monica had died so close to Christmas that Frank caused a lot of drama and Ian can still remember just how tired and numb he felt that day.

They were all smiling and laughing as usual, but the aura surrounding it was just dark and wrong. There were so many underlying issues within the family last year, but they were thankful that things this year were calmer.

Ian was worried that once he left the family wouldn’t be as calm as they were.

The last time he left home for a while he found out Frank was dying and Fiona nearly killed Liam.

He hoped if anything _did_ happen it’d be minor compared to the last time.

Ian stayed quiet majority of the dinner, just embracing the setting he was in and how good Fiona’s food actually tasted.

In reality, he was too busy remembering that this was his last day in Chicago. He was thinking of the next steps of his plan constantly, but Ian staying silent wasn’t anything new.

So no one questioned it.

Ian had a sudden thought that may not work, but it was worth a shot.

“Hey Fiona?” he piped up

Fiona looked at him as she passed the potatoes to Carl

“Yeah?”

“Would it be alright if I borrowed your car?” He asked with a hint of hope in his voice

She furrowed her brows and wiped her hands on a serviette as she licked out any food that was stuck between her teeth.

“What for?”

“I’m going on a road trip tomorrow with a few buddies from work” he lied instantly

“What the fuck” Lip interrupted “Since when?”

Ian froze, realizing he never thought to tell his family that he wouldn’t be here. He could feel everybody’s eyes burning through him.

“What, I have to tell you guys everything I do?” he became defensive

“Guess not” Lip mumbled, sipping his soda.

“When you’re leaving us for who knows how long, you should probably say something” Fiona told him off

“Yeah” Ian averted his eye contact “Sorry”

Fiona sighed “for how long?”

“U-Uh” Ian swallowed the lump in his throat “I’m not sure, more than a few months?”

The look of concern on everyone’s faces were making him panic. The only person who didn’t seem to care was Frank who kept his eyes on the television. Typical.

“What the hell, Ian?” she shook her head “You can’t take my car. Not that long. Where are you even going?”

“Vegas” was the first thing to spit out of his mouth.

He was regretting it, but he couldn’t say Mexico. Everyone would flip out.

Fiona eased off unwillingly “It’s your life, I’m not going to say anything. But you can’t take my car”

She stood up, taking her empty beer to the kitchen to get a fresh one. Ian sighed, allowing himself to relax.

“Vegas?” Carl smirked

“Well, Nevada and California mostly” Ian continued the lie

“Make sure to bring me a T-Shirt”

Ian smiled, but on the inside he was trying not to worry about letting his brother down.

“Sure” he nodded

They went back to eating and Frank suddenly spoke up out of nowhere.

“Unbelievable” he shook his head “some guy robbed a pharmacy just for bipolar meds, and the cops can’t track it” he started to laugh "I swear our taxes pay these guys and they can't even catch real criminals!"

Ian stayed quiet with his head low, but caught Lip’s eyes on him.

He knows Lip is the only one who would really know when something was going on with Ian without him actually saying anything.

He just hoped Lip would keep his distance this time.

“Who would steal that shit, anyway?” Frank kept laughing “that’s what killed our darling Monica”

“Shut up Frank” Ian told him, done with his delusional rambling “she had a brain hemorrhage”

“Yeah, and you will too before you’re 40 if you’re not careful!” he tried to warn Ian who just rolled his eyes.

He wasn’t going to argue with Frank, at least not on a day that’s supposed to be good.

 

Once it got late, Debbie went home with Franny, Liam was upstairs playing with his new action figures in bed, Carl was heading to bed too (his sleeping schedule was stuck on military school time) and Frank had gone out for a late night beer.

That left Lip, Ian and Fiona on the couch with some leftover apple pie watching reruns of It’s a Wonderful Life. It was one of Fiona’s favorites.

The eldest siblings just reminisced old memories. The three of them content in front of the heater with their layers of clothes and blankets.

“Remember when we went to the museum for some project we had and then Carl pissed on a statue so we got kicked out?” Lip snickered, remembering the security guard who was chasing after them.

Ian laughed proudly, as did Fiona.

“Oh yeah, Carl was such a little shit” Ian chuckled

Fiona laughed “I thought it’d be a good family day out. Guess not”

They continued laughing.

“You guys are lucky to have the memories you do” Fiona sighed

They two brothers calmed down and understood what she meant.

“Come on, you know we’re more than thankful for what you’ve given us” Ian felt the need to tell her.

She smiled and held his hand “I know” she paused “I know we’re all doing our own things now but when you were all little and actually needed guidance growing up, I was glad I could be there. I wouldn’t have traded that for anything in the world”

“We know” Ian smiled softly, squeezing her hand before scooping the last bit of pie in his mouth.

“Trust us, if we didn’t have you we’d all be in a gutter or in prison by now” Lip laughed

Fiona let herself laugh at the irony before bringing up a sad memory.

“I think the first time I felt the need to look after you kids was when I was really young, maybe 5? I can’t remember but Lip, you were a toddler and Ian was just a baby. We were on the L after Frank got into a fight with a drug dealer. I don’t remember exactly what happened because it was so long ago now but I remember it being a hot summer, Frank and Monica were sitting on the train. I was next to Frank and Lip was on Monica’s lap. Ian in the stroller”

She smirked sadly thinking about just how vivid it was.

“Frank had blood along his knuckles, his ugly dirty feet without any shoes. Monica was crying and I had this teddy bear I loved. I tried to play with dad, putting the bear on his shoulder but he pushed me off, telling me to fuck off” she sighed “We were sitting across from this family. A mother, a father, two daughters. One was far older whilst the youngest was about Lip’s age who was sleeping in her own stroller. They looked at us kids like they wanted to rescue us because we really did look so dirty, covered in scars and neglected, but that Gallagher in me kicked in and instead of wanting to be rescued, I wanted to rescue you guys. By the age of 7 I was already basically your mother”

She swallowed the hoarse feeling in her throat

“It’s so sad to think about because I was younger than Liam when I took responsibility” She choked

“Fuck” Ian exhaled, Lip shaking his head at the thought of Liam in that position.

Ian put down his dessert and wrapped his arms around her, Lip joining in for the tight hug.

“Thanks for everything” Ian mumbled

“Yeah, you’re the best” Lip added

Fiona sniffed and pressed kisses to both of their foreheads

“I know” she chuckled

They pulled apart from the group hug.

“Frank’s ugly feet?” Lip screwed his face up, wondering how she could remember that.

“Trust me, if you could remember it, you would remember how disgusting they were”

The three broke into laughter, lightening the mood again.

Fiona exaggerated her sigh and got up “I’m going to head to bed”

“Alright” Lip nodded

She smiled kindly at the boys she’d always look at as if they were her own

“Merry Christmas, guys”

“Merry Christmas” they said in synch, watching her walk up to her room.

 

Ian woke up at 3am to the quiet alarm that vibrated under his pillow.

It was time.

He quickly turned it off and rubbed his eyes, getting out of bed carefully, using his low-brightness phone to guide him silently to the door.

Ian quickly freshened up in the bathroom and went back into his room, grabbing his packed duffle bag and backpack from under his bed, making sure he had his passport, meds, clothes, money and any other essentials before adding his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Grabbing his clothes to change into, including his new favorite sweater and tip-toed out of his room, closing the door behind him before walking downstairs.

Frank still wasn’t home which relieved Ian to some extent.

He got dressed in the dark, trying not to get tangled in the clothing as his eyes adjusted to the lack of lighting.

That was when he heard footsteps stomping down the steps, his stomach sinking. He was about to be caught.

_Shit_

The lights turned on, burning Ian’s eyes.

“Ian?” a sleepy voice spoke with confusion

He turned to find Lip squinting, trying to adjust the brightness.

Ian quickly stood up straight “What are you doing up?”

“Needed some water” Lip told him “Then I heard something down here so I thought I’d check—Where the fuck are you sneaking out to?”

Ian sighed, pulling on his combat boots. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Out”

“Where?” he spoke hard, more awake now

Maybe Ian should tell him. He needed someone in his family to know, especially someone who cares as much as Lip does. They’re best friends.

He already told Mandy, Lip wouldn’t be much different, right?

He had to at least know that Ian’s recent strange behavior wasn’t because of the illness everyone loves to blame Ian’s choices on.

“Okay” Ian surrendered “I’ll tell you, but I need you to listen alright?”

Ian’s brows raised assertively as he seemingly towered over the older brother.

“When have I not listened to you?”

“No, I mean you have to listen, understand and not fight me”

Lip hesitated with worry, scratching his chin “Yeah, alright. Just, let me grab my water first”

 

So Ian waited, sitting on the couch as he watched his brother glug down half a bottle of the water before sitting across him on the coffee table.

“Okay” Lip took a breath “Tell me what the fucks going on with you”

Ian pulled his duffle over, knowing he’d need it.

“I’m going to Mexico”

Lip sat silently, even though Ian could tell Lip just wanted to scream questions.

“Mickey’s there, I need to get him back” he told his brother calmly

“Mickey?” Lip asked as if he didn’t believe it

“Mickey” Ian assured him

“How do you know he’s there?” Lip couldn’t help but ask, and Ian knew he had to be honest.

“Last year, I nearly ran away with him to Mexico but backed out because—”

“Because it’s fucking risky?”

“Yeah, but not just that. My bipolar is under control, I have a job. I couldn’t just abandon it”

Lip sat, understanding

“I can’t be as spontaneous as I used to be, not in my condition” Ian huffed “But, I have a plan. A crazy plan, but it’s a plan, and it’s working.”

“What’s the plan?” Lip questioned

Ian peeled open the zipper of his duffle, pulling out the plastic bag full of un-prescribed medications.

“Holy shit” Lip laughed in disbelief “You robbed the pharmacy?”

Ian shushed him, shoving the meds back in his bag “I’ve taken time off work, using my disorder as an excuse. I’m making sure I’m not just disappearing, I’ve let everyone know that I’m going on a road trip…Just, not to Mexico”

Lip smirked “You’re smarter than you look”

Ian grinned, shrugging it off “Well, thanks”

“Only problem” Lip got serious “How the fuck are you going to be able to live your life with fugitive?”

“I’m going to bring him home if he lets me” Ian told him without a second thought

Lip pursed his lips “Fuck, I need a smoke”

Ian pulled his out and passed him a cigarette

Lip just stared “Thanks?”

“You’re welcome”

Ian got up, going to the kitchen with his backpack. Lip followed, lighting his smoke on the stove as Ian shoved snacks and drinks into the backpack until it couldn’t possibly fit anything else.

“How are you going to get him to be able to live here safely?” Lip just had to ask another question

Ian smirked, turning to his brother “That’s for me to know, and for you to find out”

“Jesus” Lip muttered, exhaling smoke from his lungs.

Ian put on his coat and quickly gathered his things.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Lip needed to make sure.

Ian paused before walking to face his brother “I’ve regretted every moment I wasn’t with Mickey. He never leaves my mind” he shook his head “I still love him”

Lip nodded slowly, trying not to fight Ian but he needed to get a better grasp on it

“After all the shit he’s put you through?”

“What about the shit I’ve put him through?” Ian became defensive

 “Ian, Mickey Milkovich is a wanted man”

“ _Because_ of me”

“Yeah, but you’re not a convicted criminal!”

Ian smirked distastefully and made his way back to his bags, pulling on the backpack

“I’m just saying, is he really worth it?”

Ian looked at Lip calmly, with no hesitation.

“Of course”

He pulled his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked back over to Lip.

“Just, please don’t say anything” Ian asked pleadingly

Lip smiled, a touch of sadness lurking that grin of his

“Of course not. I won’t let you down”

They shared a smile and tight hug, swaying slightly as Ian clung onto his brother. Knowing it’d be a while before he saw him again.

Ian pulled away and instead of saying anything, they nodded slightly to each other, and Ian walked out the door.

The breeze was cold but Ian was warm from the excitement of knowing he was so close now. He was going to go strolling over that border with hopes of finding someone he lost in no time.

But first, he had to steal another car.

Luckily in a neighborhood like this, that task would be easy.


	7. Chapter 7

Deserted roads at 6am were always exciting and endless.

Ian watched the sun rise as he sped down the highway, feeling the warmth on his skin from the heater in the SUV he managed to steal.

The stereo played the music from Ian’s phone through the Bluetooth. It kept him awake, enchanted by the rhythm and how it stimulated his optimism. It made him feel closer to Mickey, since so many of the songs that played were songs they discovered and loved _together._

Maybe it was just because Ian didn’t have a lot of sleep, but that optimism was the only thing keeping him from pulling over for a nap.

This was the good kind of no sleep, anyway.

He wasn’t up all night sad and filled with regret, he was up all night racing to be where he belonged as soon as he could.

Mickey was out there somewhere. Somewhere closer than Ian could even imagine.

He let his mind wonder as he focused on the highway.

What was Mexico really like?

What was it like wherever Mickey seems to be?

Just how blue is the water? Is the sand soft and warm? Can you taste salt in the air? Does Mickey even feel the need to wear those tight jeans that made his legs look phenomenal?

Is Mickey happy, comforted by his new freedom?

They were just things he thought about, no matter how many unsure feelings or thoughts sprung up, it was overridden by these thoughts. Mickey, the sun, the beach.

Home.

Mickey was his home.

Nothing felt right without Mick, Ian took a long time to accept that fact.

He was sick of beating himself up about it and feeling sorry for himself.

He knew he dug his own grave.

Ian fucked up, and maybe it’d bite his ass when he got over that border, but he was willing to try—After years of medication making him sluggish and numb, this was the one emotion that ran through his veins furiously.

Ian needed to reach his goal.

He was probably speeding, but he kept his eyes out for any hidden cops with speed cameras. He was giving himself 4 more hours before he would pull over for a nap, although it was unlikely he’d stop.

He had to get as far away from Chicago as he possibly could.

 

* * *

 

_ Somewhere on the highway, the last time. _

It was far past midnight and the fugitives were on the road. Damon, Mickey’s prison buddy was the one driving, tapping his hands on the wheel to the rhythm of a Taylor Swift song that quietly played on the stereo.

Mickey sat in the back while Ian was asleep beside him, his head resting against his shoulder.

The fugitive had slept a few hours already by that point, but couldn’t find it in him to sleep any longer.

He wasn’t scared, not as scared as people would think he would be.

After all the shit Mickey had been through, the thought breaking out of prison and sneaking into another country would be the easiest thing he would ever do.

And it did feel easy.

Especially when he had his favorite red head with him.

Mickey felt himself smile at the sensation of Ian’s relaxed fingers laced with his own. He couldn’t remember how that had happened or for how long they were holding each other that way.

Clearly it was during Mickey’s sleep, but it still felt surreal.

He looked out the window to the stars that shined brightly, clusters of them just coated the sky and it looked incredible.

Growing up in a city like Chicago, you never really get to witness this. The lights of the city typically brightened the sky around it, making very few stars shine like this.

If he knew how to find constellations, he would’ve found plenty by now.

He felt Ian squeeze his hand, pulling himself in closer as he pressed his nose into Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey turned his head to Ian as he felt him inhale and rest his cheek back onto the shoulder to go back to sleep.

He couldn’t help but smile, running his free hand softly through his hair before allowing his fingers to trace along Ian’s jawline, just admiring what he could see of those ginger eyelashes.

“You weren’t kidding about him, were you?” Damon asked from the front seat, clearly watching them through his rear view mirror.

Mickey grinned “Jealous?”

“Nah, just makes me miss home” he admitted

_Home._

Mickey just nodded “I get it”

He didn’t miss what most people considered ‘Home.’

For him, that empty shell of never-ending abuse was never home. He never felt truly at home until he met Ian.

If anything, the Gallagher house was more of a home to him than his house ever was.

It wasn’t his siblings’ fault that he felt this way, in fact, they all felt the same way towards the house.

Their dad terrorized them in that house, they witnessed their mother die in that house and they hoarded so much shit without realizing to create the illusion that their house was their home.

All that place was, was a shelter. It gave them hot water, a place to eat and sleep, but it never made them feel comfortable.

The Milkovich family lived on edge. That’s how it’s always been.

“You told me every day about him” Damon continued to talk with his accent “I honestly didn’t believe he’d want to come after you told me what had happened between you”

“Fuck, me either” he sighed, admitting his doubts

“He’s cool though. I don’t think many ex’s jump at this type of opportunity”

“I don’t know if you’d consider us as ex’s”

Damon glanced at Mickey through the mirror with a look of confusion.

Mickey chewed his lip “look, It’s a lot more complicated than that”

“I can believe that” Damon smirked

 

The car door slammed and Ian stirred awake at that moment, eyes slowly opening to be in shock to find it was really Mickey who was next to him.

Mickey quickly became attentive to Ian, placing a hand on his cheek.

Ian woke up properly, realizing they were the only ones in the car, stopped on the side of the road.

“You okay?”

“Yeah” Ian cleared his throat “Where’s Damon?”

“Just stretching his legs”

Ian nodded, pulling his fingers away from Mickey’s to trace the letters tattooed onto his knuckles.

He just couldn’t believe it.

Mickey pressed a soft, longing kiss to Ian’s forehead that caused Ian to have a smile he couldn’t control.

All Ian wanted to tell Mickey was how unbelievable it felt to wake up next to him again but held back, instantly shy.

Instead, he showed it by moving his head away from Mickey.

Mickey moved his eyes to meet Ian’s and Ian leaned in, kissing Mickey so gently it drove Mickey crazy, grabbing a hold of Ian’s jaw to pull him in for a deeper, loving kiss.

Ian felt so happy to have him back…

_Little did he know, he would let it all go._

* * *

 

_ Texas, border of Mexico _

Here he was.

More than 20 hours later with very little sleep.

_Mexico_

Ian rolled up to the small line of cars waiting to get across the border.

It looked different here at night time, but it felt so familiar.

He could just remember how it felt the last time he was here.

How scared and heartbroken he felt watching Mickey go across that border.

Ian will never forgive himself for what he did. He still remembers how much it hurt to leave him.

He remembers walking for hours in the heat, holding back his emotions.

He remembers crashing through the door of a public bathroom at a gas station where he just locked the door and lost his shit, kicking at the wall and letting his tears fall.

It wasn’t a lie when he said he regretted it from the second he walked away, but he’ll never understand why he didn’t turn around to join him.

Coward.

Ian was a coward.

He never realized how strong his love for ‘the dirtiest white boy in America’ was until he watched him drive away.

Mickey probably would’ve come back for Ian eventually, or at least that’s what Ian liked to believe, but that slight possibility that Mickey wouldn’t come back frightened Ian.

Ian was so scared of Mickey falling out of love.

So he knew he had to fight for this. He had to stop letting Mickey come back to him.

Ian wanted to be the one to come to Mickey this time.

 

He finally made it to the boom gate and rolled down his window, trying not to be intimidated by the guards, dogs, cameras and military tech like last time.

“Good evening sir” the bulky guard greeted with a callous look on his face.

“Hey” Ian smiled

“Passport please?”

Ian handed it over. He could’ve probably gotten in without one, but if he were to get back into America it was a good idea that he brought it with him.

He felt nervous, even though he had nothing bad with him. Well, besides the stolen car but that shouldn’t matter to them.

He glanced at his mirrors, watching the guards inspect the car whilst the guard he spoke to checked his passport.

“Here you go, sir” The man returned the passport that Ian took back

“Thanks”

The guards nodded as a sign to say Ian could go through, the boom gates rose and Ian could just feel the relief relax his tense muscles.

Ian drove through and felt a smile spread across his face. He would be crying tears of joy but he was suddenly overwhelmed remembering that he actually doesn’t know _where_ in Mexico Mickey was.

He decided to start by following the signs to Chihuahua to stay the night. He was lucky he exchanged his money back in Texas, otherwise he’d be fucked.

All the towns he had seen so far were empty. Ghost Towns.

He just wanted to be in a city and in a bed. He didn’t care about the comfort of it.

Ian just wanted a space to relax and figure out what place he’d visit first, and how he would look for Mickey.

It wasn’t like he could go around with a picture of Mickey. If anyone knew him they would probably not say anything to protect him since he’s in hiding.

Maybe he’d be able to think it through a bit more after he gets at least 8 hours sleep.

 

He got to Chihuahua by midnight and felt good knowing sleep wasn’t too far now.

The city at night was nice, it lit up beautifully and didn’t have skyscrapers that went on for hundreds of floors. It was traditional and the graffiti in some streets reminded him of the south side of Chicago.

Ian snickered to himself _Chicago drunk on tequila_

That was one way to describe it.

Ian had pretty much finished all of his food and drinks. He honestly wouldn’t of thought of it, but his stomach grumbled and he realized he might be a bit hungry.

So he pulled over, putting the need for food before booking a motel and got his phone out to look up the route to a convenience store that might be open.

He had muted notifications from his family from showing up so he could focus on the road, but seeing so many texts worried Ian. Nothing was going to make him turn this car around, but he thought it was best to at least look at them.

‘ _where are you?’_

_‘Ian what are you doing?’_

_‘will you be home for dinner?’_

Then they followed with relieved texts

_‘why didn’t you say you were leaving! Could’ve woken us up to say goodbye silly x’_

_‘Never mind, Lip told us. Have fun :)’_

Ian felt better knowing that they weren’t stressed and bought the whole thing. He replied with generic answers before looking up the location and driving to it.  

 

He pulled up in a side street since cars had taken up the main road. He didn’t feel at all intimidated or scared from the dark streets. He was more worried about the fact he only knew about three words in Spanish.

Getting out of the car, he took his bags with him and closed the door as he headed for the Oxxo Convenience Store.

Convenience stores in Mexico weren’t that different to America, just a lot of words he couldn’t understand.

And they sold a lot more alcohol.

Ian grabbed some cheap (or what he thinks might be cheap) vodka, some water and snacks before making his way to the counter.

“Hola” The male cashier greeted with a smile

“Hola” Ian responded awkwardly, pulling out the right amount of money

“Ah, Americano?”

“How’d you know?” Ian chuckled

“You…very, awkward” he responded, thinking about his words “I am learning English”

“Well” Ian smiled, thinking about his own words “muy bien”

He laughed and just scanned through the items “Deberías aprender español antes de que te roben”

Ian just continued to awkwardly smile, assuming what he meant “Yeah, I will learn”

He paid for his stuff and said goodbye before walking out.

Ian was feeling a bit uneasy now, forgetting just how many people speak Spanish here. He felt horrible that Mickey had to deal with this alone. He knows Mickey can put up with anything but not knowing how to speak the language would be hard.

He considered going to a book shop tomorrow to purchase a Spanish dictionary.

 

The minute walk to the store didn’t scare him, but there was something about the walk back that was scaring him.

Ian constantly looked over his shoulder, but couldn’t see anything.

He was on his meds, he was calm. He wasn’t imagining things.

He started pacing faster to the car, he could feel his stomach twist from freight. Something wasn’t right, someone was stalking him.

Once he got back to the car and grabbed the handle, he felt something hard poking his lower back.

_Fuck_

He let go of the handle and put his hands up to show he wasn’t going to do anything.

He was hating himself so much right now.

Ian forgot Mandy’s advice to buy a gun once he crossed the border.

“Dame tu lana, gringo” The voice mumbled in his ear.

Ian wasn’t stupid, he realized the cashier must’ve planned this out. They always go for the foreigners.

“Look, I can’t speak Spanish okay” Ian told the man calmly

He heard footsteps approaching, a different voice speaking now

“Oye, Tomar el auto también”

Ian was trying hard not to panic as the gun slid up his spine to his head now. He didn’t want to be so close to salvation and have it ripped away from him like this.

“Don’t” Ian’s voice shook, his eyes glazing over.

“Don’t worry” the other voice spoke clear, his accent strong

“O-Oh, you speak English? Then tell me what you want”

“All the cash in your pockets and bags. Plus, the car”

Ian probably could get out of this situation, but there was two of them and a gun to his head. He didn’t know what to do. All he did know was that it was unlikely someone would help, and it could kill him.

“F-Fine, take it” Ian surrendered, he had some cash stashed in his underwear for this reason, but it looks like he should’ve stashed more. It wasn’t enough to get him to wherever he would go.

Especially without a car.

The man moved the gun away and quickly pulled Ian back by the collar of his coat

“Watch it!” Ian shouted as the man slammed him into the brick wall, causing Ian to drop his bags as the gun pointed from under his jaw now.

Luckily the vodka bottle was plastic.

But he was furious now, and uncomfortable from the gun pointing harshly into his neck. He could look at the perpetrators now though, he tried to remember their features. They both wore hoodies, both had beards and they looked like brothers. Twins.

The kid at the store must be the younger sibling.

He stared into the man’s eyes intimidatingly but the man just smirked.

“Maricón, eyes like that could get you killed in this area”

That insult didn’t affect Ian. Wouldn’t be the first time he’s been told that.

The other brother started to frisk Ian, checking every single pocket and pulling out the cash.

“Should get a job trabajar la esquina” the brother frisking added with a laugh

“English” Ian reminded hard through his gritted teeth, the one with the gun laughed now.

“Working the corner” he smirked

The frisker smiled at the money he had found and put it in his pocket “Maybe he already does”

The man went to put his hand down his pants and Ian jolted, trying to push him off. The gunman pushed the gun harder and Ian took deep heaving breaths.

_This couldn’t be happening._

He got his hand down Ian’s pants and Ian tried not to let out a dry sob at the sensation of an unwanted hand groping him in order to find the cash in his underwear.

It was like he was working at the Fairy Tale again. But this time he lost money, instead of making it.

Ian just stayed still, looking up at the sky to stop his tears from flowing. This all felt far too _real_.

He felt worthless.

After going through both bags, they managed to collect all the money.

The man who had the cash opened the car door and noticed the wire that stuck out and grinned.

“Oh?”

“¿Qué paso?” the gunman wondered

Ian huffed, trying not to laugh at the irony.

The man explained to his brother what the issue was and the gunman laughed.

“No way, this pendejo?”

“Sí” he confirmed, pulling the cash out of his pocket as he approached Ian.

The gun somehow pressed harder and Ian’s neck was feeling really sore now. He swore his head would probably explode before the bullet even made it through his chin.

“You a criminal like us, huh? Stolen car?” he grinned

“Yeah” he coughed softly from the tension in his throat “From one criminal to another” he grinned

He huffed “At least that explain the medication in your bag”

He pulled what might’ve been only about $50 USD and placed it in Ian’s underwear

“Right back where it belongs, puto”

He snickered to himself and turned away and got in the car, telling the brother to get in as he started the car.

The gunman walked backwards, keeping the weapon pointed at Ian.

Ian stayed completely still until he got into the car and they sped off.

“Fuck!” Ian screamed, kicking a car door before falling to the floor.

The concrete should’ve hurt but it didn’t. Ian was breaking down and hating himself. Tears were about to overflow as he went through his bags frantically to make sure not all of the money was gone.

But it was.

Ian should’ve hidden it better. He was going to be trapped in Chihuahua forever.

Just that thought alone made an aching sob erupt. He didn’t deserve this.

But maybe he did, maybe all this fucked up shit was karma for what he did to Mickey.

He wasn’t going to give up, he had to think of something.

Ian pulled his phone out of his bag before grabbing all of his stuff, feeling every bone in his body shake as he crawled back to the wall where he sat, knees to his chest as he tried not to have a nervous breakdown.

He stared at his phone until his sight blurred from the tears in his eyes.

He wanted to call someone, but he didn’t want to worry them or have them demand he come home. He felt so lonely and worthless.

More than anything, he worried something like this or worse could’ve happened to Mickey.

God, _I’m so fucking sorry_.

Ian put his phone in his pocket and just sat there, staring at his shoes. He hadn’t felt this bad in years in regards to his own self esteem. He was numb, he felt disgusting, hopeless.

Now, homeless.

Of course, he had an idea come to his head on how to make money but every fiber in his being didn’t want to do it. Just the thought had more tears falling.

But maybe it’s what he deserves.

Maybe he was just a whore.

Ian pulled the vodka out of the bag, knowing he’d have to drink enough that the burning would numb his throat and cloud his judgement.

 

It was like a (stumbling) walk of shame as he made his way towards a crappy gay club he found on google. Nothing about this felt _good_.

The alcohol was making him nauseous and depressed, but he had to do it.

He was doing it for Mickey.

He knew Mickey wouldn’t approve and would hate him for this, but Ian wasn’t going to let him know.

This was Ian’s lowest point and it saddened him to know this wasn’t the first time he had done it.

Usually, he was manic and high. He wasn’t sure alcohol would stop him from feeling so shitty about this.

Ian found the club and wondered around to the back streets nearby, seeing more than a few men standing around, with half-buttoned shirts or with their hands in their pockets as they stared at people walking by with ‘fuck me’ eyes.

No matter the city, this was always familiar to Ian.

He didn’t meet with any of their stares or whispers, instead he joined. Taking one last swig of vodka before he took off some layers of clothing in order to look like them.

He leaned against the light post, his back arched, hands in his pockets as he acted as if the fresh air would give him an orgasm.

Ian kept his eyes on men walking by, hoping one would want him.

He was trying not to let his insecure thoughts attack his prideful stance. He really never imagined this is where he would be again.

When he was fired from being an EMT because of his bipolar, Ian tried so hard to get another job but no one would hire him. He had never felt so horrible about himself. Ian felt like he wasn’t good at anything. He felt like he wasn’t good enough.

His boyfriend at the time (Caleb) just told him to grow up and deal with it, which pissed Ian off. Caleb never understood just how hard living with bipolar really can be. He never did.

Ian was happy that relationship didn’t last.

He ended up at the Fairy Tale because no one would hire him. It was the only thing he could do and was good at. It gave him anxiety to think about but his sexuality was something he would always have.

Gold thong or not, guys loved Ian.

They wanted him to fuck them, with no consideration for his emotions.

He was a whore.

The only thing Ian could do was own that title. He let himself be used.

He swore the last time would be _the last time_ but here he was.

The only thing getting him through was knowing he was in the same country as Mickey. He was closer to finding him.

It didn’t take very long for someone to show interest which made Ian glad. If it took any longer he probably would pass out on the pavement from how much alcohol was in his system.

The Spanish man who was much older than Ian with a bit of a gut and greying hair nodded him to follow and Ian did, grabbing his bags as he followed the man to the alleyway.

Ian really couldn’t understand where he was going at this point, all he could smell was garbage and vomit which oddly wasn’t triggering his intoxicated liver.

“Where are you from?” The man asked

“America” Ian slurred

“My favorite” his voice was flirtatious “How much do you cost?”

_How much do you cost?_

Ian was trying not to let it get to him.

“However much you like”

“Okay then” he turned to Ian and grin “I’ll give you 500 pesos for doing it, but if you really good, I give you 5000”

5000? That was about $250

It was better than whatever Ian had to his name right now.

He put his stuff down by the wall before backing the man into the wall of the alleyway. He was glad the alcohol had numbed his body from feeling the lips of the man on his neck.

“what’s your name?” Ian breathed

“Fernando” he responded, Ian smirked.

“Be ready to cough up 5000 pesos”

Ian dropped to his knees, already feeling them become grazed from the terrain they were on.

Luckily for Ian, anything that happened from that point on became a blur to him.

 

Ian opened his eyes what felt like moments later to find himself in the alleyway, the sun shining down onto him making that garbage smell stronger. It stick in his nose. He had no clue what he was doing here. His head was throbbing, he felt battered and bruised from sleeping on the ground.

He was lucky no one stole the bags from his arms, but it didn’t stop the shitty feeling.

He felt just like Frank, which was odd for him considering everyone compares him to Monica.

Ian didn’t want to be awake, it was painful and all he could feel was regret. So he closed his eyes and although he’s an atheist, he prayed for a miracle. To just wake up and be with Mickey.

And not to have this killer hangover.

Somehow, Ian did fall back asleep, but woke up what felt like a minute later to something poking at his shoulder.

He groaned, pushing his face into his backpack in hopes it’d go away.

Whatever was poking at him stopped, relieving Ian.

Then he felt a hard smack on his shoulder, causing him to wince from the pain.

“What the fuck!” Ian lifted his head to find a walking cane pointed at his chin.

_Fuck, not this again._

“Who are you?” a gruff accent spoke

Ian slowly opened his eyes properly, feeling his heart drop at the sight of what looked like a gang.

The man who pointed the cane didn’t look as old as he probably was, but his wrinkles did prove his wisdom, whilst the four men who stood behind him were all buff, tall, dark haired and intimidating.

“Could ask you the same question” Ian responded with an attitude, not wanting to put up with this.

“My name is Antonio. Now get up”

Ian considered it, but he was far too sore and annoyed.

“Fuck off” he told him, moving the cane from his face.

One of the men jumped to grab Ian by the collar, lifting him off the ground.

Ian struggled but managed to push him off and once he did, he ignored the ache in his bones and punched him in the face.

He. Was. Not. Going. To. Let. Them. Win.

Whoever Antonio was moved out of the way to let the other three men at Ian.

Ian fought as hard as he could, punching, kicking and shoving them away but they easily had an advantage, punching twice as hard.

Ian gasped at the impact on his abdomen and two of the men pinned him to the wall by his arms. One of them pressing his face against the rough broken brick. He tried to kick at their legs but they just wouldn’t budge

“Poor little gringo” Antonio sighed, shaking his head as he paced towards Ian

Ian fought against the hand on his face and spat the blood in his mouth at the old man.

The hand pushed him back hard, the scratches on Ian’s face stung from the pressure.

“Que dices jefe?” one of the men asked, Ian was trying not to let panic settle in just yet.

“He could be useful to us, tráigalo con nosotros” he ordered in Spanish and two of the men picked him up by the arms

“W-What’s happening?” Ian started to panic as the third man picked up Ian’s stuff  

The forth man put a black cloth bag over Ian’s head. He was really starting to freak out now.

“Let go of me!” he screamed as they carried him away.

Ian started kicking the air and wriggling. He couldn’t see anything and was quickly becoming claustrophobic.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he yelled with frustration “Are you kidnapping me!?”

“¡Cállate!” Antonio told him off

Ian didn’t stop carrying on

“Are you serious!?”

Not until he felt the sensation of something hitting his head hard enough to knock him out into a nice deep sleep…

Silence never felt so nice.


	8. Chapter 8

Light yellow walls trapped Ian in what felt like an underground bunker, his arms, chest and legs strapped to a chair that was handcuffed to a steel table, dead-bolted to the floor.

He tried to scream, but his mouth was covered with tape to ensure he wouldn’t yell.

Ian was truly panicking, on the verge of a breakdown whilst everything ached from his head, back to his legs.

He was in pain.

What did these people want from him? What were they going to do to him?

All he wanted was to find Mickey, now he was trapped in a room alone with no thought telling him he could get out of here alive.

He cautiously assessed the room, feeling himself get cold sweats from anxiety. There was nothing but desks with computers and some steel tool cabinets that were filled with god knows what.

That was when footsteps approached and Ian felt his heart start to race.

He hoped so badly that all his efforts wouldn’t go down the drain, he didn’t want to die, not when he was so _fucking close_ to his goal.

The security door opened and Ian held his breath, watching Antonio and his gang walk in.

“Ah! You’re up” Antonio beamed, waddling his way over on his cane.

Two of the men were different to last time. How many people were a part of this gang/mafia/whatever the fuck it is?

Ian became tense, breathing quicker just wanting to plead for his life as they came over. He was ready to burst into tears.

Who the fuck just kidnaps someone?

“Daniel, tómalo” Antonio ordered, towering over Ian with a grin “Don’t worry about the tape niño, we just didn’t want you to scream like you did back in Chihuahua”

 _Back in Chihuahua?_ Ian panicked _Where the fuck_ was he?

Daniel came and ripped off the tape and Ian didn’t hesitate to speak, not even wincing at the pain.

“L-Look I didn’t mean to upset you or anything, okay? I had a horrible night and I’m looking for somebody” Ian confessed, trying to keep his cool.

“What’s your name?” Antonio asked, ignoring his pleading

“I-Ian. Ian Gallagher”

“Nice to meet you Ian—You’re looking for somebody?” a smirk grew on his face

“Yes I-I’m trying to find someone”

“Who?”

Ian licked his lips to bring some moisture to them “You won’t know him”

Antonio just laughed, pulling out another chair to sit next to Ian

“I know everyone”

Ian stared, trying to regain his breathing to a regular rate as he thought it through.

Antonio was clearly a criminal and there was a slight possibility he might know about Mickey.

It was an idea and probably a long shot, but he thought he could give it a go.

“Even fugitives?” Ian wondered

Antonio nodded “of course, how else do you think they can make money?” he chuckled “What’s the name?”

Ian breathed deeply “Mickey…”

“That leaves about 11 people. Last name?” he asked, no emotion showing.

“Uh, Milkovich”

A tight smile slowly spread across his face “Mikhailo?”

Ian couldn’t believe it, he was beaming. He did know Mickey! The happiness that suddenly filled his chest made all of his pains and anxiety subside.

“Yeah!”

“You’re very lucky you bump into me, huh?” he lightly slapped Ian’s cheek before getting off his chair. One of his gang members put the seat back.

Ian just nodded “Would you know how I can find him?”

“¡Oye!” Antonio snapped “You don’t think I invite you into my place just to have small-talk about people we know, right? I want you for something”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling that fear creep up again. For a moment he had forgotten just how he got into this situation.

“Like what?” Ian asked

“smuggling drugs to a dealer in another state”

“What!?” Ian raised his voice “Why would you need me for that?”

“Because my empire is large and there are officers at nearly every state that know my name” he explained “So I make tourists, or uh, homeless looking guero’s like you do it for me”

“Fucking Christ” Ian muttered under his breath

He knew it was risky and the panic in his head wasn’t subsiding fast enough in order to ignore any bad outcome, but Ian wanted to find Mickey.

It was either this or spending months—possibly years searching.

Also, if Ian said no, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get out of this place.

“I’ll do it” Ian declared, Antonio’s brows raised with surprise

“You will?”

“If you give me the details to find my—Friend” Ian cleared his throat, feeling strange calling Mickey a friend, but he wasn’t sure how open Mickey was about his sexuality anymore.

Antonio and the boys in the room had a laugh

“You think I’m stupid, huh?” He laughed, scratching his chin “It don’t work like that flaco”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat. There would never be an easy way.

“I give you the drugs, you take to the dealer and _he_ will give you the details. As well as the money”

Suddenly, he felt a bit better about it.

“Money?” he spoke with a bit more sunshine in his voice.

“Of course we will pay for your efforts, and for knowing a friend of ours”

Ian didn’t want to question the friend part.

“Okay” he paused “…Could you untie me now?”

 

Ian sat at the steel table now free of any restraints, having a glass of pineapple soda with his lunch that consisted of rice, a bean salad and lamb.

It was a simple dish, but the aromas and flavors used—plus the homemade salsa—had Ian dying for more. He was almost gulping it down like a baby bird from not eating a proper meal in so long.

As he enjoyed his lunch, he pulled out his medicines from the bags they nicely gave back to him. He counted each pill and downed them all, trying to avoid Antonio’s stare.

“Why does someone as young as you need that much medication?” he had to ask. Ian wished he hadn’t, but was nice about it.

“I have bipolar disorder”

“Ah” he nodded “such a shame”

“Yeah”

“I’m almost 70 and still only take vitamins” he chuckled

“Lucky you” Ian responded, his mouth full.

Antonio just smiled smugly before looking at his men on the computers, clearly communicating and creating the plan for this job.

Ian was nervous of course, but this wasn’t the worst scenario he had gotten himself into.

“Your accent, is familiar” Antonio continued, looking back at him “Where are you from?”

Ian slurped down the last of his soda before answering “Chicago”

“Ah!” He clapped “I lived in Chicago for a few years in my 20’s. Back then, immigration wasn’t that tough”

“I bet” Ian chuckled

Antonio went on to ramble about the ‘good old days’ and Ian listened as he finished his food, just waiting to get this over with.

 

After another soda, Ian sat at the table with the men he now knew as Daniel, Joseph, Armando and Juan Carlo.

He must admit, they do treat their captives fairly well. Ian had gone from severely panicking to friendly and somewhat comfortable in only a couple of hours.

Antonio made his way to one of the cabinets, pulling it open to reveal various drugs and weapons, taking out what his client needed.

He paced back over, placing it on the table, sliding a handgun over to Ian with some ammo.

“This is yours, it’s loaded. Just in case you run into any trouble”

Ian picked up the gun and admired its handy work. He remembers all his ROTC training and his days in the army.

He wasn’t the type to glamourize weapons, but he could appreciate them for what they are. He found it a shame that people didn’t take them seriously, and that not enough is done to promote proper use.

“You hold that thing like you know how to you use it” Juan Carlo commented as if he found Ian to be a joke

“I was in the army” he told the moustached man flatly, placing the gun back on the table

Armando couldn’t help but question him “what the hell are you doing here for then?”

“Uh…” Ian shrugged, responding casually “signed up with my brothers details because I wasn’t 18, had my first manic episode and tried to steal a helicopter”

“Fuck”

Ian smirked somewhat shamefully before looking at Antonio “Go on”

He began to tell him the instructions as he placed 5 large bags of meth and heroin into a duffel bag, as well as the weapons.

“You will take this bag full of drugs and weaponry to our dealer in Acapulco in Guerrero driving a Nissan Sentra. Daniel will go with you disguised as a translator and he will be able to help you since a lot of the people there refuse to speak English to tourists” He explained.

Ian nodded, paying close attention.

“He will direct you to the dealer who will hand over the cash and the address to find your friend. Daniel will give you your cut and then will leave you behind, driving back here”

Ian furrowed his brows “How far is the dealer from Mickey?”

“About 10-15 minutes”

Ian nodded, impressed “sounds easy”

The drug lord held back his mocking laugh “It sounds easy, but it’s not. It’s a dangerous place and you can easily get into trouble. That is why Daniel will come”

“Why do you make people like me do it then?” Ian was trying to understand

“Because you will be less suspicious that way. Police love to tease guero’s like you and are more likely to bait you into buying so they can arrest you”

Ian took a deep breath, not letting fear override his brain. This was his miracle moment that he had to take advantage of.

 

They got out onto the road not long after, Ian driving first so Daniel could sleep. They were in Guanajuato, almost 12 hours away from their destination. It was going to be a ride that would feel like forever.

It was pretty quiet too, nothing but the radio played. Ian found these empty dusty roads peaceful, he enjoyed the silence after the chaos had been through.

Ian was doing everything for Mickey and he was the only thing keeping Ian from giving in and allowing himself to fall apart and becoming who he used to be; The kid who lost himself.

The kid who became an empty shell open to endless abuse and use. Starving himself and going for long runs early in the morning to make sure he could fit into a gold thong. He wore eyeliner and mascara—slept in it too, allowing each day he woke up to create darker under eyes to prove how dead he felt.

Ian became more meaningless than he already felt.

 _Ian Gallagher_ is a name many people wouldn’t think about.

People always forget about Ian.

But never Mickey.

And that’s why Ian was strong right now, because he knew it’d be worth it.

He wasn’t sure he cared about the outcome now, he just wanted to see Mickey. Sure, there’s photos and memories but they’re in the past and those memories just become reimagined into something they weren’t eventually. Humans forget, it’s natural.

But he never wanted to forget Mickey.

All he wanted was his scent to captivate him and to feel his lips on his soft, warm skin.

He knew that probably wouldn’t be the case when he saw Mickey again and he wasn’t going to pressure Mickey, but just to see Mickey’s face would be enough.

Mickey alone is more than enough.

 

When Daniel woke up they were only an hour away from the dealer. So far, there had been more than a couple locals giving Ian dirty looks but he took it in stride. As long as police didn’t pull them over, then it would be okay.

“So, why are you looking for Mickey anyway?” Daniel asked, his voice surprisingly sounded more American than Mexican. It was kind of refreshing.

“Uh” Ian tried to think of something that wouldn’t be too suspicious “Missed him”

Daniel nodded “So you’re not some undercover cop trying to bring him home?”

“No” Ian scoffed “If I was, you wouldn’t have found me passed out behind a gay club”

“I was actually wondering about that—you’re gay?”

“Yeah” Ian laughed awkwardly “why?”

“You don’t happen to make…adult films, do you?” he wondered hesitantly

Ian’s brows rose from surprise “What!?”

“Never mind” Daniel quickly shut up, looking at his phone

Ian internally groaned, remembering about that _one_ time when he just wasn’t thinking straight and did what he thought was right.

“…I was in a porno once, but I needed the cash” Ian admitted

Daniel looked at him with wide eyes “so it was you?” he smirked

“I’ve never seen it, but if it’s the one I think you’re talking about, then yeah” Ian sighed.

He actually hadn’t had someone confront him about it before, so this situation was fairly strange for him

“You were good—I’m not saying this to have sex with you or anything. Just an observation”

“Well” Ian had to laugh a little bit “thanks”

“Seriously though, how could you find the balls to do it?” Daniel felt the need to ask, Ian tried to answer without feeling too uncomfortable

“I wasn’t medicated so everything was fast paced. All I heard was ‘$500’ and got on board knowing my boyfriend was struggling for cash and we needed it”

“ _Shit_ ” he nearly gasped “You had a boyfriend?”

“Yeah” Ian bit his lip as he focused on the road “don’t anymore though”

“Well I don’t recommend Mexicans, not that we’re horrible or anything it’s more that when it comes to non-Spanish speaking people, shit turns sour. Fast”

Why did Ian’s mind instantly worry about Mickey?

“You don’t sound Mexican” Ian shared his own observation

“Yeah and you don’t sound Irish” he rebutted, causing Ian to stay silent.

Daniel sighed “I grew up in Long Beach and came to Mexico often with mom to visit family”

“Then why are you here now?”

Daniel laughed “Antonio is my great uncle. I didn’t have much of a choice and I don’t have much else going for me anyway”

Ian pursed his lips, recognizing that self-loathing. It sounded like Mickey. He always thought his life was done for.

But Ian wasn’t going to pep-talk a complete stranger into believing otherwise.

 

Daniel guided Ian to the place of the dealer. It was an old house, run down and dirty—It looked like someone hadn’t lived there in years but there was definitely life inside.

A man in his mid-30’s walked out barefooted with a wide smile on his face, waving at them.

The pair waved back, Daniel sharing an equally wide smile

“Okay, let’s go”

Ian wasn’t that scared anymore, but there was something fluttering inside him, and maybe it had nothing to do with this exact situation, but more about what was next. He was so close to Mickey, it made him so nervous he wanted to throw up.

They walked inside with the duffle bag and Ian could see this place wasn’t a home as much as it was a place of business. The tiles were old, broken and dirty, the kitchen was the oddest blue color and narrow. Nothing about the place seemed normal, every object was out of place, but they were greeted inside as if it were the Queen’s castle.

The man’s eyes crinkled as he greeted Ian and Daniel.

“Hola chancho” he embraced Daniel in a firm hug before sharing a quick handshake.

The two spoke in Spanish and laughed as Daniel shoved “un gringo” he nodded toward Ian

“Ah” he understood before reaching out for Ian’s hand for a shake

“This is Marco” he introduced to Ian before saying to Marco “Esto es lan”

“Eh, Hello” he spoke, clearly not that good with English

“Hi” Ian just smiled and nodded, shaking his hand. He felt so awkward.

“Come!” he told them, guiding them through the dark and dusty house.

Ian was stunned that someone so cheerful could work in a field like this. It was refreshing after what Ian had been through in the past two days.

He walked through to the back room of the house where they had men smoking and counting the grams of drugs, bagging them up for sale. All of them just chatting and laughing.

“Bebida?” Marco offered a drink before motioning to the cheap torn couch by the wall “¡Siéntate!” he continued to offer enthusiastically

“No, I’m good thank you” Ian politely declined

Marco tried to figure out Ian’s words so Ian quickly corrected himself

“Estoy bien, gracias”

Marco smiled and nodded before looking Daniel

“No, mi compañero” Daniel declined, passing over the bag “No podemos quedarnos por mucho tiempo”

Ian just assumed their conversation meant they had to get out of there and watched them quickly get to work, going through the bag to double check everything needed was there.

Marco put the drugs onto the table where the men worked to weigh and bag it before passing over the cash for the goods. Ian tried not to get wide-eyed at how fat the stacks of cash was.

Daniel counted the cash bundles and pulled out two bundles of it, passing it to Ian.

“This is yours, it’s about $1,500 US”

“Shit” Ian exclaimed with surprise as he grabbed it “tell Antonio I said thanks”

It wasn’t as much as he had when he got to Mexico, but it’s better than what he had now.

“Of course” he smiled

Daniel put the cash away in the duffle to take home, making his way behind the desk to stand over Marco who sat at the old Microsoft computer

“¿La dirección del trabajo de Mikhailo?” Daniel asked and Marco jolted with continued enthusiasm as he remembered what Ian was here for.

He clicked away at the computer, pulling up the details of Mickey’s whereabouts and wrote them down on a napkin that was close by.

Ian could feel his heart in his throat and his hands shaking realizing this moment was really here. Holy fuck, it felt unreal. Ian just couldn’t bring himself to believe this was reality.

Marco courteously got up and placed the napkin folded up in Ian’s hand with a kind smile.

“Good luck” he wished, patting his hand before walking back to his desk where he hugged Daniel goodbye.

Ian opened it, reading the address over again as well as the name of whatever it was

_Cabeza Podrida_

The fuck did that mean?

 

Ian and Daniel walked out together a moment later, silence between them as Ian’s eyes stayed glued to the napkin.

Daniel unlocked the car as they got outside, rolling his eyes at Ian who was so distracted by some written words on a napkin.

“Did you need me to read it for you?” He asked as he opened the back door of the car, pulling out Ian’s bags

“No” Ian shook his head “I just can’t believe how easy it was”

Daniel huffed, slamming the door “Yeah, you’re lucky” he told him, passing Ian his bags.

Ian thanked him quickly and put the cash away securely in his bag before pulling it onto his back, staring at the napkin again.

“One question” Ian began

“Yeah?” Daniel responded as he grabbed to door handle of the car.

“What is…Cebeza Podrida?” Ian had to wonder, probably mispronouncing it. Daniel laughed as he got into the car.

“It means Rotten Head. It’s the bar he works at” he informed “pretty good place for drinks too”

A bar? Ian never imagined Mickey would work at a bar. He always pictured him more buying the drinks than serving them.

“It honestly isn’t that far from here. Did you want me to drive you? I know Antonio doesn’t want me to bring too much attention to the car or burn too much gas but seriously, a five-minute drive should be nothing”

Ian felt sudden anxiety, he couldn’t prepare himself in five minutes for this kind of thing.

Ian hesitated “Nah, it’s alright” he smiled

“You sure?”

“Yeah!” Ian assured

“Okay” Daniel shrugged, starting the car “Guess I’ll see you around?”

Ian nodded “See ya, man!”

Daniel nodded in return as he pulled out of the driveway, speeding up back towards Antonio.

Ian waved goodbye before he made his way down the street, following the instructions of his phones GPS as he blasted music in his ears, trying to ignore the world around him.

 

His forehead was forming beads of sweat from the heat, forgetting Mexico was still hot even though it was winter. Ian was only in jeans and a t-shirt but struggled, especially with the bags he carried.

But maybe half of the sweating wasn’t from the sun but was from nerves? Ian was less than 10 minutes away from Mickey now—or at least, Mickey’s work.

If Mickey wasn’t there he thought he could ask one of the other staff members where he was, or just wait around. He was more worried of being the only white person in the bar and how locals would react. This area of Acapulco wasn’t where tourists often visited.

Ian wished he had time to stop at a library for that Spanish dictionary.

 

He walked around the corner onto the main road where Mickey’s work was. He was only a couple of minutes away now.

He honestly felt a bit dizzy, his mind racing through every possible thought and every possible moment that brought him here.

Ian was nervous, hoping he looked half-decent and smelt okay. The past day and a half was agony for Ian and not once did he have the chance to look in a mirror.

Mickey probably looked gorgeous, maybe he even had a tan. Ian imagined Mickey speaking Spanish fluently and nearly died at the thought. He doubted Mickey was fluent, but knew he would be speaking more than he knew when he ran away.

What worried Ian was that maybe Mickey was happy here. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Mickey had moved on and lived a happy life. It ached him to think about that possibility and it sunk in more and more as his anxiety pumped through his whole body.

Ian couldn’t give up, that was for sure.

Ian knew he was nothing without Mickey and that nothing in his life ever compared to him.

He also knew Mickey used to think that way about Ian, too.

He hoped that fact still remained the same.

Ian stopped as he saw the bar only a few blocks down. The sign ‘Cabeza Podrida’ painted in bright red writing with the animated image of a dizzy man sitting at a table with a beer. It made Ian giggle just a little bit.

There was an honest smile across Ian’s face. Despite all the nerves, negativity and anxiety telling him to walk away and that this was a mistake, he felt happy.

Mickey was so close to him now and Ian could already feel that tingling in his veins.

He continued walking, not looking back now, admiring the sight of the beach only a few feet across from the bar.

This had to be a dream.

Every time he saw Mickey, it felt like the first time they saw each other.

Well, the first time they saw each other after having sex and discovering each other in a completely different way. Ian had practically grown up with the Milkoviches.

Just Imagine if Ian then, knew where he would be now.

Ian removed his earphones and put his phone back in his pocket, adjusting himself as he embraced the Spanish hits playing throughout the bar and outside where locals sat with their drinks and cigarettes.

The outside of the bar had a traditional look with green wood paneling, paint chipping away.

It looked like a happy place, from what Ian could see through the window.

He couldn’t delay this anymore and took a deep breath as he reached the door.

_This is it_

Ian took the step inside, feeling butterflies fly through him has his eyes darted around trying to find Mickey.

The bar was pretty full considering it was maybe only about 4pm, so it made it hard for Ian to see. But he squeezed his way through to the bar. He only knew where the bar was from the sign that said ‘ _Alcohol Aquí’_ with an arrow pointing down.

His heart was beating harder now as he finally approached the bar.

A customer got off the seat blocking Ian's view and there he was.

_Mickey_

Ian froze, dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Mickey was smiling and interacting, his voice loud, sweet yet rough just like he remembered.

He looked beautiful, he had more freckles than Ian remembered and was tanner than before.

_He looked happy._

_FUCK_

Mickey turned his head, mirroring Ian’s frozen dumbfounded look as he caught Ian’s eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, either.

At first, he felt overjoyed, then had anger override that happiness as he remembered what Ian did to him.

Usually, Mickey would find Ian looked incredible when this type of thing happened but this time was different. Ian looked like a wreck, he was scratched and bruised, the bags under his eyes proving Ian has been through something rough.

Every instinct in Mickey wanted to just reach out and hold him, but he quickly became frustrated and angry again, wanting to punch him in the fucking throat.

Despite every emotion Ian and Mickey felt, they continued to just stare at each other. Frozen.

A girl walked out from the staff area, tightening her light brown ponytail as she chewed on her gum.

Mickey snapped out of his daze to look back at who it was and was thankful someone else showed up.

“Juanita, tomas cabeza roja” he ordered in words he was sure he messed up before walking away, not giving Ian a second look.

Ian watched Mickey and walked away, furrowing his brows. What the fuck was that about?

“Hello, can I get you something?” a soft Spanish accent offered

Ian snapped out of his own little world and thought for a minute he understood Spanish, but quickly realized the girl behind the bar was speaking English.

“Oh, no sorry” Ian apologized with a smile before walking off, following Mickey to a table he was cleaning.

Ian wasn’t sure what to say, being slightly intimidated by how harshly Mickey was scrubbing away at those old scratched up tables.

Hello might be a great start, though.

“Hey” Ian spoke, his voice sounding naturally mundane.

Mickey didn’t flinch, moving on to the next table.

Ian bit his lip, worried as he continued to follow.

“Mickey it’s me, Ian”

_Still nothing_

Ian started to feel his throat clench, trying not to let his emotions flow

“I-I’m sorry I’m late” he said softly

Mickey paused, his hand gripping tight into the dish towel as he tried to ignore him, but his eyes were burning from just wanting to scream and punch at the Gallagher.

Mickey shook it off, grabbing empty bottles from the table and stormed back up to the bar to speak to Juanita, leaving Ian feeling disheartened.

He felt horrible.

Ian didn’t understand exactly what the problem was. Why couldn’t Mickey just talk? Ian was finally here, wasn’t he? Isn’t this what he wanted, a life in Mexico together?

He knew there was a possibility Mickey wouldn’t be happy to see him, but he didn’t expect this. He at least expected a ‘fuck you!’ or something before they had sex like old lovers do.

Or at least, that’s what Ian and Mickey do. _Usually_.

Ian watched Mickey put his towel down, talking to the girl behind the bar who quickly nodded and reached for the phone to call someone.

He watched Mickey itch his nose as he turned around, locking his eyes on Ian.

Ian felt his heart stop seeing those intense blue eyes lock on his again.

Mickey walked directly towards Ian now. Ian could just recognize that fire in his eyes. He had seen it more than a few times before.

He was angry.

Ian’s breathing hitched as Mickey was only steps away from him.

Mickey swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head towards the door in order to say ‘ _follow me_ ’

So Ian did without a doubt, following Mickey out the door to the empty street.

Mickey pulled out his smokes and lit a cigarette. Ian watched him attentively, his heart aching from how badly he wanted to touch Mickey. Not even sexually, just lovingly.

Ian felt like Mickey was a work of art in a gallery that had a sign saying ‘don’t touch’ next to it because it’s worth too much and is capable of breaking.

But he’s the type of artwork that was just so beautiful you couldn’t resist.

He moved out of the doorway to face Mickey who exhaled his smoke, still not looking Ian in the eye.

“Mick…” Ian pleaded and Mickey looked up at him dead-eyed.

“Will you just—” Ian tried to speak but was met with Mickey’s fist that graciously hit his cheek.

Ian covered his cheek, feeling the taste of iron fill his mouth. He stared at Mickey as if he was crazy, but really, he should’ve expected it.

“What the fuck!” Ian exclaimed, shoving Mickey back but Mickey quickly threw his cigarette and grabbed Ian by the collar, their faces inches apart.

“Why the fuck are you here!?” Mickey demanded as he shoved Ian back to keep himself from doing something he couldn’t control.

“I’m here for _you!_ ” Ian spoke with a heaving chest

Mickey laughed distastefully, scratching his lip as he paced back and forth a little bit.

“I’m sorry” Ian spoke whole-heartedly.

Mickey grinned sadly and looked at him again “bit late for that now, huh?”

Ian stepped closer to Mickey “but I’m here now. Mickey I—”

Mickey gripped him by the collar again, pulling him around to slam him against the old green wood paneling.

“Did you ever think I might be _fucking happy_ here, Gallagher? What gives you the right to think it’s okay to show up out of nowhere after leaving me the way you did?” Mickey argued with frustration, pushing himself away from Ian who was blown away by Mickey’s intensity.

“I couldn’t just abandon everything like you!” Ian yelled back

Mickey huffed at how unbelievable this man was.

“Shut the fuck up asshole I will not hesitate in punching you again” He threatened

Ian licked his lip, not even realizing it was cut and bleeding from Mickey’s first punch.

“I’m here now, okay?” Ian spoke, promising “I-I did so much to get here”

“Why does everything have to be about you, huh?” Mickey questioned him “Why do you always have to fuck with me like this!?”

“I did it _all_ for _you,_ I’m sorry!” Ian told him again, slowly stepping closer to him “I’m not going anywhere this time, Mick. I’m going to stick around and make it up to you”

Mickey looked up at him with a laugh from the flattery

“Again, you’re too late roja. You can wait all you want but I can’t just run off with you”

Ian furrowed his brows, hurt by the comment.

“But I ran away for you?”

Mickey bit his lip, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him.

“Yeah, but you didn’t stick around, did you?”

“Mick I—”

“I’m a fucking fugitive, Ian” Mickey spoke with his voice low “I’m safe and happy here. And I have a fucking—”

“Mickey!” A voice interrupted, tearing their eyes away from each other to watch the tall, handsome and slightly concerned Mexican man approach them.

“Hey!” Mickey smiled softly at him.

Ian was holding his breath, knowing exactly what that smile meant.

“Are you alright? I came the second Juanita called, are you feeling okay?” He seemed panicked, placing his hand on Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey didn’t even flinch.

“Yeah, uh, André, this is Ian” he introduced, his eyes slowly meeting Ian’s.

 _Don’t fucking say it_ , Ian thought, hoping his heart wouldn’t break into pieces.

“Ian, this is my _boyfriend_ André”

Ian nearly felt himself collapse at the sensation of his heart shattering.

But he smiled kindly at the man.

André looked at Ian as if he had met him a hundred times before. Mickey must’ve mentioned him.

“Oh, hello!” his accent was thicker than the girl behind the bar, but he spoke English well.

He embraced Ian with a handshake and Ian shook his hand, feeling so inadequate for the first time in a while.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Ian small-talked.

Mickey just rolled his eyes, his arms crossed.

“Yeah I’m good but are you alright? You’re all…bleeding and bruised” André felt the need to point out.

Ian huffed “Well, it’s been a rough few days”

The man empathized, shaking his head “That sucks. Do you have a place to stay?”

“I got robbed” _truth_ “so no, I’m broke” _lie_

He met his eyes to Mickey’s who wanted so desperately to look away.

Ian knew he wanted him back, he could tell. How serious could this thing with André be if Mickey still gets that look in his eye?

“Shit, man. You’re welcome to stay with us, there’s plenty of room” André offered

“What!?” Mickey instantly interrupted before Ian could answer “Fuck no!”

“Why not?”

Mickey raised his brows high, not wanting to argue in front of Ian “Can I speak to you for a fucking minute?”

André nodded and Mickey grabbed his arm pulling him a fair distance away from Ian who just watched from afar.

“Are you crazy!?” Mickey kept his voice low “That’s my ex-boyfriend!”

“So?” his boyfriend shrugged “he looks like a mess and smells really bad. The house is so big we’ll probably never see him anyway”

“What makes you think he’s here for a holiday?” Mickey wondered, his sharp blue eyes stabbing into the soft and generous brown eyes.

“He’s clearly lost his mármoles. We can’t just leave him this way”

Mickey fluttered his eyes to the ground. It was going to be impossible to talk him out of this. He just couldn’t help himself.

“Besides, we can get off on making him jealous by kissing in front of him and shit” a cute cheeky grin spread across his face and Mickey just couldn’t resist smirking at him.

“Alright, fine” Mickey gave in “only so we can make him suffer just a little bit more”

André smiled wide “God, I love you”

“I love you too” Mickey mumbled, staring into his eyes as he patted his chest quickly “I’ll be in the car”

 

Ian watched them and could feel jealousy sinking in. There was no way Mickey could’ve _really_ moved on right?

“¡Oye, Ian!” André called out

Ian moved his eyes off Mickey walking to the car and met with Mickey’s new beau, all forms of emotion drained from his face.

“He said it’s cool! Get in!”

Ian sighed, silently dreading what was to come. He wasn’t sure he would be able to handle this.

He walked to the black BMW and got in the back, favoring the air conditioning. He sat on the driver’s side of the car so he could look at Mickey from the backseat.

Ian was going to win Mickey back, somehow.

He probably should feel bad since André seemed so nice, but Ian couldn’t give a shit. He was just that petty.

Ian was sick of caring for things that shouldn’t matter. His jealousy was going to turn this into a competition.

He just couldn’t wait to see just how _good_ Mickey’s life possibly was, he didn’t want to believe it was all rainbows and unicorns. He knew there was more to this, there had to be.

Nothing about Mickey’s ever been easy.

There had to be something more complex than that.

And Ian was going to find out.


	9. Chapter 9

Ian was more than stunned by the ‘house’ Mickey was living in with his new boyfriend. He could see the place from a mile away, white and glowing at the end of the street.

It was practically a mansion, the plants in the garden were well kept and green and it almost looked mythical with the ivy that was growing along the left side of the large house.

Ian certainly couldn’t believe it, but grinned at the fact maybe Mickey didn’t love André.

André has money and Mickey could use that to his advantage.

Ian had no idea Mickey would enjoy a _Mexican sugar daddy_.

“This place is incredible” Ian complemented kindly in the back seat as they pulled up. Mickey kept quiet whilst André took pride.

“Thanks! Worked hard for it”

_I’m sure you did_

“No problem, looks great. Can’t wait to see the inside”

 

When Ian walked under the tall open wooden door, he felt the embrace of air conditioning and a place so sparkling and clean it was clear they had a maid to keep this place in shape.

Ian dropped his bags at the sight of a brown Labrador running down the hall. He grinned wide as he kneeled down to the floor to say hello to the friendly pup that was wagging his tail so hard he couldn’t stand up straight.

Mickey patted the dog as he licked at Ian’s face “this is Chico” he introduced

“Aw!” Ian couldn’t help but laugh, hugging the excited dog that jumped on him

André smiled at the sight before bringing himself down to the floor where Chico moved off Ian to greet his owners.

Ian wiped his cheek, still smiling from the dog as he got up, his eyes levelling with Mickey’s. Mickey quickly looked away.

“Amor, show Ian to the room with the bathroom. I’ll get started on Dinner” André told Mickey as he stood up, patting his dog's head gently.

Mickey nodded “Sure”

André pressed a kiss to Mickey’s cheek before walking down to the kitchen, Chico chasing him along the way.

Ian couldn’t tear his eyes away from the wreck of a couple, even though it hurt him in a way he hadn’t felt so strongly before.

Mickey felt a bit odd having Ian here, seeing his new life. Whenever Mickey noticed Ian, he saw Chicago—a place he could never return to. It was like seeing snow on a hot summer's day, just not possible.

So how could Ian be here? Mickey could never return to Ian.

_It’s just not possible._

“How old is he?” Ian asked, trying to break the tension between the ex’s.

“The dog? Almost 10 months, we rescued him” Mickey told him. Although it was a casual conversation, he spoke so coldly towards Ian.

“Right” Ian responded, picking up his bags.

Mickey chewed his lip and couldn’t take the awkwardness

“Just follow me”

So Ian did, admiring the railing and design of the staircase.

Mickey led Ian up to a wide open living area, turning to the right to go down a well decorated hall to a room that would be Ian’s—the room furthest away from where Mickey and André slept.

“This is where you’ll stay” he told him dully as he opened the door.

Ian’s eyes widened at sight of the huge room, a king bed with heaps of pillows just waiting for him to sink into.

“This is awesome” Ian spoke in awe as he walked in, throwing his bags down onto a couch by the door.

“Yeah—Okay look, this room has its own walk in robe and bathroom so knock yourself the fuck out”

Ian nodded, looking back at Mickey to feel that complex emotion of sadness and delight.

He was beginning to wonder if it would ever stop.

Mickey scratched his head, clearly uncomfortable “Anything else?”

“Yeah, uh, towels?”

“They’re in the bathroom” Mickey responded quickly

Ian nodded, chewing on his cheek. He didn’t want Mickey to walk out, but he didn’t know what to say.

“André will have dinner ready in like 20 minutes so just come down after…”

Just the sound of that name coming from Mickey’s lips made his eyes sink to the floor

“Okay” Ian looked back up at him, watching him walk out and close the door without looking back.

 

Mickey walked back towards the staircase, feeling a heaviness pushing onto his chest. This was more than painful and he was unsure why after everything he had told André about Ian, he would let him temporarily live with them.

Why was he even here? And for how long?

Why couldn’t Ian leave his buried business six feet under where it should stay?

He shook away the tears that were bound to come and made his way down the stairs acting as if the ex-boyfriend he gave up everything for wasn’t living in a room of his house like a spider that just watched you from the corner of your ceiling without you knowing.

Once Mickey got down the stairs and approached the open living area he breathed, relaxing his shoulders to pretend he was okay with what was happening.

His boyfriend smiled at the sight of Mickey from the kitchen “how is he?”

“Fine” Mickey smiled back as he walked over to the counter of the kitchen, watching André cook up some homemade tacos.

André Fuentes’ homemade tacos were way better than that instant-pack bullshit you would buy from Food 4 Less.

“Smells good” Mickey praised as he leaned on the counter, just watching him work his magic.

“Gracias” André laughed as he chopped up onions almost effortlessly “are you alright with all of this?” he asked

Mickey shrugged “nothing I can’t handle”

“I know it’s weird now, but I promise it’ll be fine. You guys were friends first, yes?”

“Not really, we were neighbors, turned enemies, turned fuck buddies, which turned into co-workers and eventually lovers” he explained bluntly

André furrowed his thick brows “nothing about you American’s is right”

“Tell me about it” Mickey scoffed, pulling out his cigarettes “Did you feed the dog?”

“Ah” he tried to think “no!”

Mickey sighed “Alright, don’t stress I’ll do it after my smoke”

“Okay” he smiled that bright ass smile that made Mickey want to kiss him all over

“Amo!” André sung.

Mickey laughed and made his way out to the backyard, leaving the door open for the dog that was pattering his way out closely behind.

He lit his smoke and sat on the step that went down to the back, exhaling, feeling all that weight get shifted for just a moment.

Chico barked and Mickey watched the energetic Labrador run and play before stopping on his patch of grass to do his business.

Mickey laughed quietly as he inhaled more toxins, allowing them to free his mind.

“That’s my boy”

There was a funny feeling in Mickey’s gut telling him things were about to get crazy, it always did whenever Ian Gallagher was around.

After so long of not having any sort of connection to Ian, his family or Chicago, it was like all three were suddenly here. It was too _much_ , too _soon_ , yet _too_ late.

He took advantage of this moment by himself so he could properly process what was happening. It was a lot to handle, that was for sure.

Mickey was so positive Ian was gone for good, allowing the man to shatter his heart one last time before he rebuilt himself and now here he was; a house, a boyfriend, a dog and a job, just to have it come crumbling on top of him because of the man he once fought so hard for had come back for him.

He couldn’t believe what he used to think was his one true love was here for him, it was slightly flattering but overall, aggravating.

All Mickey wanted to do was go into that room and throw him out the window, telling him never to return, but he couldn’t do it. Not to Ian.

The chaos Ian and Mickey create is something they both craved, it was a weak-spot for Mickey.

He loves it, he loves the rush and exhilaration he felt with Ian, but that just wasn’t him anymore.

Mickey understood what Ian meant at the border, about loving him but that he couldn’t do this.

Back then, if the roles were reversed, Mickey would’ve gone over that border for Ian but now he just couldn’t picture leaving this life.

Ian was too late. Mickey was happy here.

He snapped out of his daze as he felt a wet nose push on his arm gently. Mickey smiled at Chico and patted his head as he smoked.

“I know buddy, I’ll feed you soon” he assured the dog who enjoyed the back rub Mickey was giving him.

Mickey exhaled smoke through his nose and could feel his throat tighten as his mind raced through so many questions and thoughts.

He had to ignore them, he just had to ignore Ian and not look far into this. He had to remember his puppy, his boyfriend and this wonderful life he dreamed of living.

Only difference was it was meant to be a certain red-head that was here with him, not a gentle yet rough Mexican Mickey had given a part of his heart too.

Regardless, Mickey was happy and he wasn’t prepared to let that be destroyed just yet.

 

Dinner was a bit awkward for the three men who sat at the table. Mickey hardly touched his food whilst Ian ate like he hadn’t had a meal in days and André ate as if nothing was wrong, sneaking a few bits of meat under the table for the dog.

“This table is glass, Andy. I can see you feeding the fucking dog” Mickey called him out

Ian smirked “Andy?”

“Shut up” Mickey told him bluntly

“He’s hungry!” André tried to excuse it

“He ain’t starving! One piece of onion from that meat and it could kill him!”

“Mami gave our old dog onion and he was fine”

Ian enjoyed this bickering, he missed Mickey’s need to yell about anything and everything that annoyed him.

“Ok, that’s fine. Don’t give my fucking dog onions!”

“ _your_ dog, huh? You’re not the one who bathes him and cleans his caca”

“Oh _please_ ” Mickey scoffed

“This is great” Ian interrupted, smiling with his mouthful.

Mickey shot him a glare

“The tacos, I mean” he gulped.

He wasn’t lying either. They were pretty damn good.

His comment tore them away from their married-couple like fighting.

“If you like that you should try my mom’s Tamales. She cooks them for both Christmas and New Year’s, they’re the best” André informed Ian, telling him details of the taste and ingredients used.

Ian was more than impressed.

He didn’t like the guy, sure, but he enjoyed the culture and food that tasted fresh and wasn’t in a freezer for three months before it was heated up.

“Wow, sounds good”

“If you like, you can come to the New Year’s party if you like?” He offered, Ian widened his eyes, looking over at Mickey who was also wide-eyed.

“You’re kidding, right?” Mickey commented, but Ian ignored him.

“Of course I’ll be there!” Ian responded with a smile “I’d hate to be alone on New Year’s”

Actually, it was all Ian really wanted after all this mess. But the bitterness within him thought this would be fun to meddle in.

Mickey could just see how fake Ian was acting and looked at him like he could see exactly what Ian was planning.

_Homewrecker._

“Great!”

Mickey’s brows were raised high in disbelief.

His boyfriend couldn’t be this fucking clueless, right?

“You sure your mom would be fine with that?” Mickey questioned, more so he would come to some sort of realization.

“Of course, Mickey. Have you even met her?”

Mickey just rolled his eyes, biting into his food before having a sip of his cheap beer.

Despite the steady flow of cash, Mickey still preferred cheap booze over the expensive shit.

“Mamón” André muttered under his breath as he took a bite of his food.

Mickey shoved his shoulder “I know what that means, asshole”

Ian wiped his mouth as he finished his food, pretending to ignore their arguing in two languages as he looked outside through the large window to the incredibly lit up back yard.

“Holy shit there’s a pool!”

André and Mickey stopped their Spanglish argument, remembering he was in the room. Ian could tell what was going to happen next.

“Yeah, you can use it if you want" André told him

"Thanks, I think I will tomorrow morning" Ian smiled as he turned to face the couple who gave each other a look.

A look of anger and lust, one Ian was once so familiar with.

Mickey chewed on his bottom lip and Ian watched his eyes drift so longingly over André.

Ian began to feel nauseous at the thought of Mickey wanting someone as bad as he used to want him.

Honestly, he felt really shitty about it and felt it was best to excuse himself.

"I think I'm going to head to bed..."

"You sure?" André questioned, even though Ian could see right through that bullshit.

The couple needed time alone, and so did Ian.

"Yeah. Big day" Ian sighed as he got off his chair "thanks for dinner"

"Yeah, no problem amigo"

Ian just nodded as he said goodnight, making his way up the stairs. Chico followed Ian close behind, making Ian smile.

"You want to stay in my room tonight?" Ian asked the dog despite him being unable to answer.

He patted his head and lead him to his room, leaving the door cracked open so he could leave if he had to.

When Ian finally got into that large comfy bed, he thought he could just pass out—but his thoughts were loud and taunting as he tried to sink into a deep sleep.

Mickey didn't love him anymore.

That's what this heart-breaking feeling in his chest was.

Disappointment.

All this hard work could possibly be for nothing, and that thought alone was keeping his mind awake.

 

Once Ian rose the next day, he rolled over to find Chico still sound asleep on his bed.

He wasn't even sure if the dog was allowed to sleep on the bed, but Mickey and André didn't seem to mind. He was glad he had some sort of companion to comfort him through this.

Ian was secretly dreading New Years, knowing he'd be so left out and unnoticed. He would never fit into this lifestyle no matter how hard he tried.

He just wanted to get Mickey back and give him the life he truly wanted and deserved.

How could Mickey really want this? It was nice and all but isn't it a bit too... _happy?_

Mickey loves excitement, he always spoke about the insane things he wanted to do in his life and here he was living the life of someone in a family sitcom.

It just wasn't realistic, especially for a Milkovich 

Speaking of Milkoviches, he looked at his phone to find a text from Mandy.

_'Find him okay?'_

Ian rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and replied

_'Yeah. He's happy...and not because I'm here'_

Mandy's reply was instant

_'Shit. You coming home?'_

_'No. I don’t want to give up on him again.'_

_'Okay...Call me when you can. I love you’_

Ian replied with a heart emoji and jumped out of bed, going to the bathroom to pee and refresh his battered face with a splash of water before heading downstairs with his toiletry bag filled with medication.

He approached the kitchen with hesitation, feeling so out of place and awkward.

He turned the corner and found Mickey was cooking—a rare sight for Ian.

"Morning Gallagher" Mickey greeted him, a bit more at ease than yesterday.

"Hey..." Ian's voice was soft and sleepy as he approached the counter, sitting on a stool as he admired the feast of scrambled eggs and toast.

It was basic, but it reminded Ian of home. It helped his out of place feeling.

"Looks good" he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"How much do you want?"

"Just a piece of toast and eggs would be fine" Ian smiled slightly, placing the toiletry bag on the counter

Mickey just nodded, grabbing a fresh piece of toast from the plate.

"Butter?"

Ian shrugged "sure"

It was such a simple moment but it brought some form of normality to Ian. It was so familiar and he couldn't stop watching Mickey. He didn't expect him to soften up so quickly.

It was probably some sort of façade, but Ian was willing to embrace any simple moment like this with Mickey.

Mickey put the plate in front of Ian and continued to offer his hospitality.

"Want a drink?"

"Coffee" Ian replied

Mickey gave him an unapproved look but started the kettle.

When Ian started his meds Mickey was very strict about his diet and what he should and shouldn't have.

 

_“Hey, no caffeine! Not on your meds” Mickey scolded_

_Ian didn’t listen, reaching for the coffee jug anyway._

 

"We only have instant, that cool?" Mickey wondered, looking at Ian like he couldn't help it. It was like he still didn't believe it, that Ian was some type of hologram that would disappear in an instant.

Of course he was still angry, he had spent all last night arguing with André (after over an hour of angry sex) and decided he would act as if nothing was wrong about having the cut and bruised man who broke his heart stay with them.

He was going to bury his true thoughts and feelings. They seemed irrelevant to both André and Ian anyway, so it really didn’t matter.

"Coffee is coffee" Ian laughed slightly "oh, can I have ketchup too, if you have it?"

"Right! Forgot about that" Mickey grinned, getting it from the fridge "one of the first things we bonded over"

Ian smiled at the memory, thanking Mickey as he put the sauce over the eggs.

 

_Ian had slept over at Mandy’s house, talking all night about the guys they liked, and in the morning when Ian walked into the living area, the family huddled around the table._

_Food time in the Milkovich house was similar to the Gallagher house, just a touch more aggressive._

_They all said hello gruffly before the two best friends sat down._

_All Ian did was gleam at the sight of Mickey coming out of the kitchen with the bottle of ketchup._

_“Hey fags” Mickey greeted as if he couldn’t give a shit._

_Ian smirked at the irony knowing that when Mandy fell asleep, Ian snuck into Mickey’s room and they had very, very hot sex._

_Mandy screwed her nose up at the sight of her brother squeezing out a heavy amount of sauce onto his eggs._

_“You do that too!?” Ian spoke, a bit more excited than normal._

_“Ew!” Mandy exclaimed “ **You** do that too?”_

_“Fuck yeah, it’s great” Ian grinned_

_“Fucking thank you!” Mickey responded “ketchup should go on eggs”_

_“I disagree” Mandy huffed as she and Ian plated up their food._

_“Don’t worry, Mick. I agree” Ian tried to have an input but Mickey ignored him._

_Well, he pretended to._

_“What, and it’s supposed to go on Mac n Cheese?” Mickey scoffed “Fuck off”_

_“You fuck off! It’s a masterpiece” she argued “Ian, you agree, right?”_

_Ian shifted his eyes “sorry, Mands. it’s pretty gross”_

_"Will all of you shut up and give me the ketchup?” Iggy interjected_

_“See, I’ve made my point” Mickey smirked triumphantly, passing it to his brother._

_Ian couldn’t help but chuckle, holding his hand out for the ketchup once Iggy was done with it._

 

Mickey soon poured the hot water into the mug, stirring and placed the coffee in front of him.

Ian took a sip before pulling out his medication from the toiletry bag. Mickey watched attentively as Ian counted his meds.

He was honestly surprised. Ian was here, and not out of a rush manic decision. He was still taking care of himself through all of this. He genuinely wanted to be here. Mickey wasn't sure what to think about it.

"You take your meds?" Mickey asked, even though the answer was an obvious yes

"Yeah, Mick" Ian smiled shyly as he downed them "I told you I couldn't just leave, I had to prepare everything" Ian took a bite of his toast before speaking with his mouth full "But don't worry, I'm prepared so I'm not going anywhere for a while"

Ian smirked and Mickey looked away from him, unsure how to feel about any of this. He was honestly trying to move forward from his anger and try to take control of the situation.

He didn’t have much of a choice, otherwise this just wouldn’t work.

André walked in, dressed up in a collar shirt and ironed pants.

"Buenos días" he greeted with a wide, beautiful smile.

"Hola!" Mickey greeted back with a smirk.

André slapped Ian's shoulder, making him smile distastefully before he made his way over to Mickey who kissed his cheek softly, tucking his shirt into his pants.

Ian suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

"Want eggs?" Mickey asked his boyfriend who looped his arms around Mickey’s waist, purring sweet nothings in his ear.

Ian watched how easy Mickey smiled and blushed, completely comfortable.

God, it ached Ian's heart in a way he couldn't explain.

He wished it were him holding Mickey, not André.

Mickey plated up André's food, knowing exactly what his order was.

"Sleep well?" André asked Ian, making Ian keep his eyes on the clingy couple

"Yeah" Ian nodded "like a baby"

"That's great! He being nicer to you today?" André continued to ask, despite Mickey standing right there.

"Yeah" Ian laughed, slightly awkward “a little”

"Don't worry, we had a little 'talk' last night so he feels less grumpy this morning" he snickered, biting into Mickey’s neck gently.

Mickey elbowed his ribcage, looking at him with fire-filled eyes.

Ian felt his heart drop and his stomach twist, knowing what that meant. He hoped he could become immune to these feelings and do what he came here to do. No matter the scenario.

Ian decided to speak, instead of sit there in his self-pity and jealousy.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Ian asked André who smiled, sitting next to him at the counter with his breakfast.

"Work stuff, family business. Meetings etc."

"Ah, business man" Ian nodded

"Kinda" André shrugged "we're making a lot of money from Cabeza Prodrida so we're meeting with some people to discuss making into some sort of a franchise"

"Wow" Ian reacted with an honestly surprised look.

Mickey looked at André proudly, Ian tried to ignore it.

"Yeah" André smiled kindly "it's a bit exciting"

"I bet"

There was a moment of silence making Ian wish he didn't say anything at all. He downed some more coffee before excusing himself.

"I'm going to take a shower, still feel gross from all the travelling" he spoke casually

"Alright" Mickey nodded slightly "we'll probably be gone when you get out so..."

"Oh..." Ian cleared his throat "right"

"Do you have any plans?" Mickey wondered

"I don't know yet, might go for a walk around" Ian tried to converse

"Better apply some fake tan first, and a fuck ton of sun screen"

Ian smirked "of course"

André interrupted "Dye your hair, too"

"Fuck off" Mickey reacted as if it insulted him "he's south side, he'll be fine"

André smirked, looking up and down Ian as if he were a joke.

"I'm sure"

Ian bit his tongue and grabbed his toiletry bag "guess I'll see you guys later"

They said their farewells as Ian evacuated the room as fast as he could. He had to shake André from his mind before he did or said something he would regret.

 

After Ian showered he decided to just get back into his pj's and continue lying in bed with Chico who was in and out majority of the morning, making Ian get up to let him outside every once in a while.

For lunch he made some instant ramen and sat on the couch, trying to figure out what remote did what in order to turn the TV on.

He eventually figured it out and quickly got bored once the midday Spanish drama had finished and decided to take a dip into the pool.

 

He floated around, just closing his eyes as the sun shined down. It was a beautiful day and Ian was wishing his mind was as clear as the sky.

But it wasn't, it was dark and stormy and as if a tornado was sucking up all his emotions and spinning them all over the place.

He was numb, and not the medicated numb. The type of numb when you have so many thoughts and emotions your body can't fathom an expression for it, leaving you restless and senseless.

Ian hasn't felt something mixed so strongly like this since the border.

Only difference is back then he thought he wouldn't ever see Mickey again. This time he was seeing Mickey, but he couldn't _feel_ Mickey and there was someone standing in the way.

He could go on and on endlessly about Mickey, he just consumed the galaxy in Ian's mind and he knew that in an instant, Ian would fall to his knees if he asked him too.

The only thing Ian couldn't do for Mickey was leave him behind again.

No matter how many times Mickey asked.

Maybe that was just due to his own ignorance, but Ian didn't care.

 

Ian jolted from his day dream to the sound of Chico running outside and barking. He swam to the edge of the pool, furrowing his brows.

"What's wrong, boy?"

Chico licked Ian's forehead and Ian patted his head, soon realizing how pruned up his fingers had gotten.

He swore he wasn't in the pool for more than a few minutes, but it must've been almost an hour.

Chico was running around the yard as if he wanted Ian to look at something, making Ian more concerned.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

He pushed himself up and got out of the pool, quickly drying himself off to find out what Chico was going on about.

Ian followed Chico inside, carefully walking behind the dog who was running towards the hallway.

"Stupid perro! Calm down"

Ian froze at the sound of André's voice. How could he speak like that to his dog?

"Andy, its fine" another man's voice spoke and Ian instantly dived to hide by the wall nearest to the hallway.

That voice was definitely not Mickey’s voice, it wasn’t rough enough, and there was an accent that wasn’t American.

Who the hell was here? And why was he calling him Andy? Ian thought only Mickey called him that.

André sighed “Sorry amor ¿Quieres una bebida?”

“no, sólo tú”

Ian peaked around the corner to witness André pick up a lanky blonde boy, pinning him to the wall of the hallway, right against a picture of him and Mickey.

The two men met in a passionate embrace, kissing each other passionately as they quickly undressed each other.

Ian's mouth gaped open, his eyes wide as he suddenly he felt sick and concerned for Mickey's wellbeing.

What the fuck was all this about? Did Mickey know?

Why would André do this to Mickey? Was he not good enough for him?

That couldn’t be it, Mickey deserved better than this.

Mickey seemed to love André and this would kill him but Ian wasn't sure he had the guts to pull them apart. Not like this. He had to be smart about it.

Ian sat by the wall, afraid moving would cause them to catch him.

Who was stupid enough to bring a side piece home? To a place their boyfriend lives?

To a place where their boyfriend’s ex was staying?

Ian covered his ears as their moans intensified.

What was worse was Ian picturing this stranger as Mickey. It killed him.

But what killed him more was knowing Mickey's happiness probably wasn't real and that something was holding him here.

This was strike one for Ian. He had to save Mickey from this. He didn't deserve to be cheated on.

Mickey was worthy of so much better and Ian wanted to give him what he deserved.

Ian definitely couldn't let him go. Not now.

He couldn’t let Mickey have his heart broken again.

Ian had to convince Mickey to leave André before André left him.


	10. Chapter 10

Nothing about this felt right, Ian’s suspicions were rising higher as he began to wonder what kind of mess had he walked into.

In the beginning, Ian used his ignorance to pretend nothing was wrong with him staying here. Now he realized just how wrong that was.

Why did André allow him to stay with them?

Why would André cheat on Mickey?

Why would André cheat on Mickey knowing that Ian would probably be home?

Nothing about it made sense.

It was New Year’s Eve. Ian had spent the last couple of days thinking about what he had witnessed—all he wanted to do was confront André or tell Mickey but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He wasn’t sure what to do, and really there’s not much he _could_ do. Mickey was happy and Ian didn’t want to be the one to ruin that. But he didn’t want André to ruin that, either.

Hell, maybe André and Ian would both ruin this for Mickey no matter the outcome.

They were probably more alike than they thought.

Ian wasn’t willing to admit it, though.

 

The three men sat in the living room, watching TV as they waited for the time to go by before they went out.

Mickey sat with André on one of the white leather couches, laid back in his disloyal boyfriends arms where he looked so protected and calm.

It broke Ian’s heart, sure, but his eyes glared strong like a Lion, sure to attack André at any moment where he might show any sign of hurting Mickey Milkovich.

He was so protective of Mickey, no matter the situation between them. They were best friends long before they openly admitted that they were in love—despite the whole having sex thing.

Ian knows what Mickey’s been through and witnessed most of it. He knows deep, dark parts of Mickey he wouldn’t _dare_ share with anyone else.

Not even André.

They’ve known each other since they were kids which made their connection and understanding of each other stronger than what they had ever experience with someone else.

Not even their siblings knew half the shit they knew about each other, and maybe that’s what kept them holding on.

That’s why they always come crawling back.

That’s why Ian couldn’t believe Mickey didn’t want this, too.

Ian peeled his eyes away from the cuddly couple, staring at his Facebook feed but not paying attention to anything that was being displayed on his screen.

He just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Mickey looked at the time, knowing that they had to leave in an hour.

“Are you ladies ready for pre-drinks?” He smirked as he got off the couch, feeling a bit cold getting out of André’s strong and warm tattooed arms.

André laughed, grinning “Who you calling lady, passivo?”

Ian’s brows furrowed, unable to understand “Passivo?”

“Bottom” André was quick to tell him, leaving Ian’s pale complexion somehow paler knowing Mickey was bottoming for someone else.

“Hey! Just ‘cause I bottom don’t make me a fucking lady” Mickey argued playfully, making André laugh cheekily.

“Just go get the cervezas, _lady_ ”

Mickey flipped him the middle finger before turning to Ian who was trying to erase this conversation from his memory.

“Did you want one?” He asked

Ian nodded, faking a smile “Yeah, just one though. You know my meds make me a light weight” he chuckled lightly “I’d like to make it to midnight”

Mickey smirked “hopefully you do”

Ian felt himself blush, unsure what that meant, till Mickey continued to speak.

“Mexican parties are way more intense than the ones back home” he told him as he approached the fridge to get the beers.

God, Ian felt like a teen again with a silly crush on a boy. Nothing about what Mickey said was suggestive, Ian just wished it was.

He thought too deeply into shit Mickey said, when there was no chance Mickey would ever flirt with him.

Especially with his tall, dark and handsome Mexican boyfriend in the room.

Ian was secretly worried about tonight, he knew he would probably not like it and would want to just come back here to sleep, but he wanted to indulge himself in Mickey’s presence. He missed him so much and would take any opportunity to be in the same room as him.

Even if that means being ignored by him and being trapped in a corner all night drinking whilst everyone has fun.

 

They arrived at André’s moms house by 9pm and already there was loud music pumping from the inside out, with more than enough people talking loudly from their drinks boosting their confidence.

Ian felt out-of-place again, unable to see how tonight could be anything but a disaster.

He didn’t want to think about what would happen by midnight.

When he pictured New Year’s on the drive to Mexico, he initially thought Mickey would be with him and that they would share a perfect evening just the two of them, watching the fireworks.

But he knew now that idea was just _too perfect_ , of course there would be something stopping them from being happy together. There always was.

Not that Mickey really wants to be with him anyway.

Ian sighed as he got out of the car, grabbing out the case of beers they were bringing to the party.

The house was average size, but the block of land was huge and the backyard was basically the ocean.

It had a nice homey feel, being lit up by warm lights and a fire pit. The pumping music also warmed up the atmosphere, the bass of the music striking Ian’s heart in a way that lifted his aura.

It helped the bad feelings subside for a little while.

The front door was wide open and welcoming, Ian followed closely behind André and Mickey.

While the house was welcoming, the amount of people in the room intimidated him.

He was a stranger to them and hardly knew their language. He was thankful the music soothed him and that he would have a double-shot of tequila in his hand soon enough.

“Follow me!” André yelled over the music and Ian and Mickey did exactly so, Mickey slowing to stand next to Ian as they followed.

Ian looked at Mickey and couldn’t help but admire how gorgeous he looked close up.

“The fuck you lookin’ at?” Mickey reacted, clearly flustered.

“Nothing—I just, is everyone here his family?” Ian asked, trying to not look obvious.

“Nah, locals and friends too” Mickey told him “don’t worry, you don’t need to meet them all”

“Good” Ian exhaled with relief

“Half of them are probably drunk anyway”

“True” Ian chuckled, feeling a bit better now.

André took the case of beer off Ian and introduced him to his mother Rosa who was just as warm and welcoming as the house. She was short with curly auburn hair. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at the three men in her kitchen.

“Hola Darling!” she greeted Ian with a hug to which Ian awkwardly hugged her back

“It’s nice to meet you!” Ian responded with a smile as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

“You too! Mikhailo and André have told me so much about you!” her accent was soft and sweet

“¡mamá!” André told her off

“Cállate, mijo. It’s fine!” She argued back

“Well, I hope whatever they said was good” Ian conversed with a laugh

“Of course, of course!” she smiled, patting his shoulders “Come outside and have fun! You too, Mikhailo!”

It was funny to Ian how people called Mickey by his full name. They didn’t pronounce it properly, but the way it rolled off their tongues sounded beautiful nonetheless.

“Yeah, Mikhailo” Ian smirked at Mickey who gave him an annoyed look before making his way outside.

“Come, come!” she persisted as she led them to the large table where there was food and coolers filled with ice and drinks.

André put down the case of beer and unloaded it into the coolers packed with ice as his mother explained what all the dishes were. There were so many different colors and aromas that Ian’s mouth was watering.

“—and these are my tamales”

“André told me about those! I’m excited to try them” Ian kindly spoke with her

By this point, Mickey was already serving himself a plate of everything.

“Go ahead! There’s plenty!” She assured, clasping her hands together with excitement.

Rosa was an amazing host. Ian was just cheered up by her personality.

“Thanks” Ian chuckled, helping himself to the feast

Mickey almost rolled his eyes back at the taste “Fuck, this is good. Muchas gracias” Mickey mumbled with his mouth full.

Rosa just laughed, pinching Mickey’s cheek softly. It made both André and Ian smile.

“Oh, I would just like to uh, apologize, for my husband not being here. He’s working tonight”

Ian’s brows furrowed with confusion. He turned to André and Mickey

“I thought the bar was closed tonight?”

“No! We just don’t have work, dads running the bar with a few cousins tonight” André informed Ian

Even Mickey looked a bit confused, but Ian looked past it.

“ _Right_ ” Ian responded slowly.

“Oh!” Rosa piped “I better head back inside, my friend Diana is meant to be here any moment! Have fun chanchito’s!” She smiled wide before running back inside.

“Please excuse mi mama, she’s Chilena. That’s why she’s a bit…odd compared to the rest of us” André apologized as if he were embarrassed.

Ian understood about being embarrassed about parents, but Rosa wasn’t embarrassing at all and was nothing compared to his family.

“Really?” Mickey’s brows rose, his mouth full “You never told me that”

“Si, mi amor. She met my dad when he went to Chile for a holiday, then she came to live here when they got married”

Ian laughed to himself “well if that’s the case then so far I like Chileans _way_ more than Mexicans”

“¡Oye! Watch yourself, gringo” André joked with a grin

Mickey laughed, throwing his half eaten plate of food into the bin

“Alright, kids calm down. Let’s get to drinking.”

 

Ian was buzzing from the Coronas and Tamales sitting in his tummy. He felt surprisingly good.

It was a couple hours till midnight and he had been enjoying the night, trying to make conversation with those around him that could speak some English. They were actually interested in what it’s like to live in America. Ian didn’t realize just how privileged he really was until that moment.

Even with a walking Dorito as his president.

“Oi Gallagher!” Mickey called out from the gate to the front yard, Ian instantly looked his way.

Mickey waved him over and Ian instantly followed, glugging down the last of his fourth drink before putting it on a nearby table.

“What?” he wondered as he met up with Mickey

“Come do some Mexican tradition shit with us” he nodded towards the fire pit in the front yard

“Really?” Ian’s voice squeaked slightly. He blamed the alcohol.

“Yeah” Mickey chuckled with a bright smile. Clearly the alcohol and festive mood was cheering him up, too “Come on, it’ll be fun”

“Okay” Ian laughed softly as he followed him to where André stood with some others

“How’ve you been with everything?” Mickey wondered

His interest startled Ian but he replied instantly

“Good, yeah” he smiled “I’m having fun”

“Good! Don’t feel left out or anything because trust me, I don’t know shit about traditions or the language either” he laughed

“You know more than me” Ian responded with a harmonious laugh as the approached André

“Ian!” he half-drunkenly shouted “I’m creating a new tradition!”

Mickey snorted “ _New Tradition_ like he’s the fucking president”

“Shut up!” André whined “I could be president one day”

Ian just chuckled, feeling a bit awkward at how intimidating André’s ‘friends’ seemed to be. They just kept to themselves, cigarettes in hand as they spoke to each other.

“I’m sure you fucking could, sweetie” Mickey spoke teasingly, pulling out his own cigarettes.

“hmm” André glared playfully before explaining “It’s based off another tradition” he began to explain

“Uh huh” Ian nodded before holding his hand out to Mickey “bum me a smoke?”

“Fuck off!” Mickey exclaimed, mumbling on the cigarette in between his lips.

“Please?” Ian gave Mickey a puppy-dog-eyed look “I only have a couple and I need enough to last me the night”

Mickey just rolled his eyes and passed one over, lighting his own smoke before passing the lighter to Ian.

Ian smirked and lit his cigarette, passing the lighter back as he spoke

“Go on”

André quickly thanked the Americans before continuing to explain.

“The usual tradition is to get a piece of paper and write the top best and worst things that happened to you this year and throw it into the fire…BUT, instead, you write only one best and worst thing and also add what you wish to achieve next year”

Ian just nodded, actually soaking up the Mexican culture whilst Mickey scoffed.

“That’s not creating a new tradition! That’s just adding another thing to an already made tradition”

“I said it’s _based_ off another tradition”

“You mean _plagiarism,_ right?” he responded, exhaling smoke.

André shook his head “I hope you choke on that cigarette”

Ian just laughed, shaking his own head as he stared up at the amazingly clear night sky, inhaling another puff of smoke.

“I hope you choke on my dick tonight” Mickey grinned, his tongue pressed to the corner of his mouth.

Ian just stared with a brow raised, wishing he didn’t hear that.

He needed more alcohol. Could they just get this over with so Ian could go back to enjoying the party?

“I swear Ian I’m going to kill him one day” André threatened, clearly as a joke

“I’d like to see you try, don’t forget I went to prison for murder”

Ian just had to laugh “ _attempted_ murder, Mick”

“Shut up!” Mickey told him off “Either way you should sleep with one eye open tonight, Andy”

André laughed obnoxiously loud “Sure, honey. Now, back to the game”

 

They all took turns in writing down on a piece of paper from a notepad, ripping it out and folding up their best, worst and future achievements. Ready to be placed in the fire.

Ian felt his stomach flutter as he nervously wrote it down.

_Best: Finding him._

_Worst: The entire time I was without him._

_Future: get him home safe and sound with no problems from the law._

Ian ripped it out and looked at Mickey who was watching Ian. He quickly looked away and Ian passed the pad back, quickly folding his paper up.

He knows Mickey wouldn’t be able to read it since Ian wrote it so close to his face not even he could see it. Mickey was probably just nosey, wondering what Ian had written.

Of course Ian was curious about what Mickey had written, too.

They waited for everyone who was contributing to write theirs down and fold it up. They all gathered around the fire.

“Here’s to a Happy New Year!” André cheered

“¡Feliz año nuevo!” Everyone shouted (besides Ian and Mickey) as they put their papers in the fire, cheering, clapping and talking loudly as they watched the paper disintegrate.

Ian watched the fire and sighed, hoping this tradition stuff actually worked.

 

Only an hour and a half to go and Ian had managed to seek possession over a tequila bottle that was meant for everyone, but everyone insisted for Ian to have it. They wanted to see a white boy fall to his ass, but Ian didn’t care. He was in the mood to get completely wasted and lost in the moment.

Everyone danced in the backyard to foreign dance music and Ian was into it as well, arms raised high as he swayed his hips in time.

Alcohol may have numbed your senses when it came to sight and touch, but feelings always grew stronger and became harder to control.

Mickey and Ian kept looking at each other as they danced, only a few feet apart.

All he wanted was to grind himself on Mickey and make him _his_.

But of course, Mickey was all over André who’s hands rested on Mickey’s hips, helping him sway close to his pelvis.

Ian rolled his eyes and turned to find a woman smiling at him, he was sure he had said hello to her but it didn’t matter. Everyone just danced together at these things.

The woman spoke to him in Spanish but Ian was sure he understood, since her body language was a universal language. She wasn’t trying to be dirty—she was directing him how to dance like a Latina.

“¡Ver! ¡Así es como bailas!” She chuckled and so did Ian, even if he didn’t really understand.

He followed her footsteps and hip movements, feeling excitement from doing it right.

She clapped and cheered “¡bueno!”

Ian smiled, proud of himself as she excused herself and went inside.

He continued to dance, humming to the music before looking over at Mickey who was walking off the dancefloor through the chain-link fence to the beach to light a cigarette. Ian furrowed his brows as he looked over at André who was also going inside.

_Was he going to cheat again?_

Ian quickly shook that thought and decided following Mickey was the best thing to do in this intoxicated state.

He made his way through the crowd of people and went through the gate, looking to where Mickey sat by the brick wall that was the back of the house.

Ian confidently walked over pulling the cigarette from his fingers to take a drag.

That was as close as Ian was ever going to get to Mickey’s lips at this rate.

“Bitch that’s mine!” He slurred

Ian just laughed and leaned against the brick, handing it back before looking out to the beach. He had an honest smile on his face, despite how out of this world he felt.

He was elated, admiring how gorgeous it looked. Even in the dark, you could see the waves crashing into the shore.

“God this place is incredible” Ian spoke to himself, sighing

“I know, but anything is better than shitty Chicago” Mickey chuckled, putting out his cigarette.

Ian laughed loudly, sinking himself completely onto the wall “True that”

“Speaking of” Mickey burped under his breath “When you leaving?”

Ian shrugged “not for a while”

“Cool” Mickey shrugged back.

Ian was sure he’d get an angrier reaction than that.

“Shit, I’m _fuuuucked_ ” Mickey groaned, resting his head back on the brick

“Same” Ian slurred, looking around as if everything around him wasn’t real.

They shared a silent moment, but more to catch their breath and prepare themselves to face the crowd again.

A song came on that was familiar to Ian, then he realized it was an English song.

Either that or Ian was great at understanding Spanish all of a sudden.

“Holy shit!” he laughed “I love this song”

Everyone cheered from the backyard and the both of them laughed.

“Missing home?” Mickey asked, in reference to the fact he got excited over an English song.

“Nah” Ian waved his hand.

_Because you are my home_

“You?” Ian asked in return

Mickey just chewed his lip and shrugged, thinking.

_Not anymore._

“Hey, guess what?” Ian quickly changed the subject “I learned to dance like a Latina”

Mickey let out a hard laugh “Really now?” his brows raised

“Yeah, see!”

Ian started dancing to the beat the way the woman showed him, moving his feet and hips in perfect time.

It made Mickey laugh so light-heartedly. Ian loved the sound of his laugh. He swore he had heard Mickey laugh more times tonight than in the entire time he lived in the south side.        

“When you say Latina, you literally mean _Latina”_

Ian instantly stopped, pouting at Mickey “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You look like a fucking woman” he slurred as he stumbled his way into standing up “Here, I’ll show you”

Ian’s mouth gaped open, stunned as Mickey placed his hands on Ian’s hips without hesitation.     

There was no way this was real.

“Like this”

Ian admired Mickey’s eyelashes as Mickey kept his eyes on Ian’s hips, swaying them in the ‘correct way’

Whatever that was supposed to mean.

But Ian swayed them with ease, naturally wrapping his arms around Mickey’s neck, causing Mickey to sway with him.                                    

Mickey looked up at him and instantly looked back down, closing his eyes as he got into the rhythm.

_This doesn’t mean anything. We’re just dancing._

The two moved in perfect time, tension clearly rising but neither of them were in the right state of mind to believe this was really happening.

Mickey pulled away and they laughed at each other as they clapped along. Ian turned Mickey to face away as they headed into the bridge of the song.

Mickey sunk into Ian, swaying his hips against his pelvis before Ian even got the chance to adjust himself, but Ian quickly got a hold of Mickey’s hips, the two dancing together in unison to the music, the sound of the waves softly surrounding them.

All Ian wanted to do was move his hands to Mickey’s chest and then hold his hands, but Mickey placed his hands on top of Ian’s, showing him how to really _take control_ as if Ian never used to grind on men for a living.

Ian rested his head on Mickey’s shoulder and closed his eyes, drowning out the music for a moment as he imagined himself back at home in his living room, home alone with Mickey, dancing to their old favorites in the living room.

That familiar scent from Mickey ran through Ian’s veins, that tingling being the only thing Ian could really feel.

He felt content.

He hoped he’d remember this when he woke up.

They were like magnets, glued to each other. But that quickly changed.

“Mickey! Where are you!?” André called out from the backyard.

“Shit!” Mickey muttered, pulling away from Ian “Don’t follow me, okay?”

Ian just stared, his mouth gaping again. He was completely unaware of what was really happening.

_What the fuck was happening?_

Ian watched Mickey leave, slipping on the sand multiple times before reaching the gate.

“Hey papi!” He shouted, his drunken state clearly shining “I was having a smoke!”

He opened the gate and stopped as André approached for a hug

“Hang on, fuck” he muttered loudly, pulling his shoe off, tipping it upside down “look at the sand holy _fuck!_ ”

Ian snickered to himself from the brick wall, admiring how incredible the man he still loved was.

_Still loved._

Ian sighed, suddenly missing his bottle of tequila.

Was it too soon to go back to the party yet?

 

Once Ian had finally gotten back to the party and _also_ cleaned out the sand from his shoes, he was reunited with his bottle of tequila and held onto it tight.

It was heading close to midnight and Rosa was handing out small bowls of grapes. Ian didn’t really understand from how drunk he was, but was told from 3 different people that when the clock hits midnight you had to eat them all.

Ian thought it was a joke at first, but as the clock ticked closer and closer it was getting quieter and quieter. The music was turned off and everyone started laughing as they joked around, preparing for it.

It had something to do with luck and Ian was willing to do it. He needed all the luck he could get.

Then, the timer started, everyone counted down in Spanish, whilst Ian and Mickey murmured to themselves in English.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

The music played loudly again and everyone tried to swallow down their grapes. It was fun, challenging and also hilarious. People choked on the juices and tried to sabotage each other by making funny faces. Ian took it more serious though, hoping to win as he chowed down the fruit.

Someone cheered loudly and Ian pouted, realizing he didn’t win.

He looked up and found the winner with his arms in the air, smiling wide.

_André_

Ian glared and placed his bowl on the table, closing his eyes as he held onto the table trying to focus.

His head was starting to spin now, the alcohol clearly going to his head...and his liver

“Ian!” Rosa called out and walked over “Come down to the beach with us, darling. The fireworks is about to start”

“Huh?” Ian looked up, feeling everything around him start to churn.

Rosa stared wide eyed with worry “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah” Ian cleared his throat, turning to her “Where’s the fireworks?”

“You look…muy blanco”

“I am… _muy blanco_ ” Ian corrected

“No!” She shook her head “You look like you’re going to be sick”

Ian stared at her, watching her turn into 3 and then 4 people.

_Fuck_

Ian covered his mouth and Rosa quickly grabbed the bin, making sure Ian threw up inside it.

He felt the bile violently rise up his throat and hated himself for letting him get to this state.

 _There goes the grapes_.

“Aw, pobre chico” she soothed, rubbing Ian’s back.

He quickly realized that wasn’t in reference to his favorite chocolate Labrador.

Ian spat out whatever was left in his mouth and groaned “I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry! Go sit on the beach by the grass. I’ll bring you a bottle of water, okay?”

Ian nodded and looked over at everyone that was standing on the sand with their phones, ready to get photos of the show.

He dragged himself with the bin through the gate, hating how his mouth tasted as he walked to the grass. He wasn’t very far away from everyone, but still felt rather lonely.

Ian sat down, feeling everything crumble down on him now. He felt horrible and couldn’t stop staring at Mickey at the back of the crowd, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist.

Rosa came passed and nicely gave him a bottle of water. Ian rinsed his mouth and spat into the trash that sat next to him. He hated this.

Ian sighed and looked out to the starry sky as everyone chanted. He still felt a bit drunk, but was sobering up fast.

The fireworks sizzled and whizzed its way into the air, Ian smiled at how the colorful explosion lit up the sky. It looked beautiful.

Then he looked down at the crowd and felt something else in his throat. His heart.

Mickey and André were in a passionate kiss, painfully slow with touches of tongue, holding each other so close. Mickey’s hand smoothing over André’s jaw before it ended up in his hair.

They pulled away and Ian was close enough to hear them speak.

“Te amo” Mickey spoke with a soft smile

“Te amo” André replied, kissing him again.

It was this moment that made Ian realize he had never seen them kiss. He felt the need to throw up, but not from being drunk.

From this aching feeling.

It was a familiar feeling, too and reminded Ian of when he had to witness Mickey marry Svetlana.

All Ian wanted was to marry Mickey, and he witnessed him marry someone else.

All Ian wanted was to kiss Mickey under the fireworks, and he was witnessing him kiss someone else.

What else would he have to witness Mickey do with someone else before he got the chance to?

It also hurt Ian because he knew that André was faking all of this and Mickey had no clue. Mickey was giving himself to André and he was taking it for granted, fucking someone else behind his back instead.

Ian just couldn’t comprehend it.

He would switch places with André to hold Mickey under the fireworks in a heartbeat.

 

Once Mickey and André found out Ian had thrown up, they felt it was best to go home.

The drive home was quiet and luckily André didn’t drink much so he could drive, he was focused on the road and Mickey was slowly passing out in the front seat.

Ian pulled out his phone to find texts from his siblings and Mandy saying Happy New Year.

It made him smile a bit, and he felt inclined to text back, despite the shit night he had.

It was the nice thing to do.

They got home and André and Ian had the responsibility of carrying Mickey inside.

The two of them were practically silent the entire time, only whispering short instructions every now and again.

They carried Mickey up the stairs, Chico wagging his tail as he followed closely behind.

André opened the door to their room and turned the light on. Mickey groaned a little and André grabbed complete hold of the Milkovich as Ian rushed to pull down their soft patterned sheets.

André put Mickey on the bed and pulled his buttoned up shirt off, leaving on his white tank top whilst Ian helped take off his shoes.

Ian let the boyfriend have the honors of pulling off the pants and tuck him in.

He looked so peaceful, it made Ian smile.

Then he noticed black ink on his skin around his shoulder near the strap of his tank.

Did Mickey get a new tattoo?

That would be a worry for another day.

André stroked his hair softly and pressed a kiss to his temple.

The two of them walked out of the room, André closing the door behind him.

“I’m going to go get him a glass of water” he whispered

“Okay” Ian whispered back “thanks for tonight”

“No problem” he smiled “thanks for helping me get him into bed” he laughed softly

“It’s okay” Ian smiled “Hey, do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Of course not” he smirked “knock yourself out”

“Awesome, thanks”

André just smiled, slowly making his way down the stairs “Goodnight”

“Goodnight” Ian whispered, making his way to his room where Chico followed as per usual.

 

After a good and long hot shower, Ian dried off and gulped down a cool glass of water before sitting on his bed, rolling his shoulders to relax them as he looked out his open window at the sun that was slowly lighting up the sky.

_Happy New Year._

Ian felt restless, despite the pounding in his brain telling him to sleep.

He couldn’t stop thinking about tonight, and what he had found out. He had to speak to someone.

Mandy would be awake, right?

He decided to be safe and text first.

‘ _hey, you awake?’_

It took only a minute for her to respond.

_‘yeah, can’t sleep. Why?’_

_‘same. can I call you?’_

_‘Go for it!’_

So Ian dialed her, and she instantly answered.

“What’s up?” she spoke, slight worry in her tone

God, it was so refreshing to hear her voice.

Her voice made him feel homesick.

“A lot of shit has gone down a-and I need your advice” He spoke softly

“Same here” she huffed “You go first”

“Okay well, I got mugged when I got here and then I got drunk and I _think_ I had sex with some random dude in an alleyway” he began to catch her up

“Shit, Ian” she breathed

“I know…and then I woke up to a gang kidnapping me and it turned out the main guy was some sort of drug-lord. I thought I was actually going to die”

“ _Jesus,_ so from all of that, how did you manage to find…you know?” Mandy spoke, Ian realized she was being careful.

“Uh, the guy said he knew M—Mitchell”

“And you believed him?”

“I didn’t have many other options, Mandy”

“I guess…”

“Anyway, I had to take stuff to some guy in the city I’m in and then I walked to the bar where Mitchell works and straight away he wanted nothing to do with me”

“No shock there” she mumbled

“And then we went outside, got into a fight and then Mitchell’s new boyfriend shows up and I’m like _fuck_ ”

“Fuck!” Mandy repeated in disappointment “so _that’s_ what you meant by happy”

“Yeah” Ian sighed “Anyway the boyfriend is letting me stay with them and a few days ago I caught him…” Ian brought his voice down low “fucking someone else”

“No fucking way” Mandy muttered “What happened then? Did you tell Mick—Mitchell?”

“No! What am I supposed to say? And he’s really happy, Mands. I don’t want to be the one who ruins that”

She sighed “is there any chance he might still love you?”

Ian huffed and lied back on the bed, fiddling with a pillowcase as he spoke.

“I-I don’t know. He’s very cold towards me and just treats me like an old friend if he’s in a good mood…Tonight was weird though, I was really fucking drunk so I can’t remember specifics but I remember we ended up dancing, like, grinding on each other when no one was around”

Ian heard the sound of a lighter, followed by a long exhale by Mandy.

“Sounds like he wants you but _can’t_ touch you”

He could hear her smirk

“I don’t think he wants to. He seems to love Andy—that’s Mitchell’s nickname for him by the way—but they’re very close, he even lets Andy be the one that fucks him. Mitch never let anyone but me do that”

“Well what did you expect, Ian? He thought you left him for good!”

Ian sat up, crossing his legs “Yeah but I didn’t expect _this_. I always thought we’d end up together in the end. Some _Ross and Rachel_ kind of shit, you know?”

“Yeah, I get what you mean” she paused “Well, with this Andy guy and the cheating thing. What do you feel you should do?”

Ian pursed his lips “I don’t know. A part of me wants to tell Mitchell, but the other wants to sabotage the relationship in another way. What I really want to do is punch Andy in the dick”

Mandy let out a loud laugh “do it”

Ian scoffed “I wish”

“Honestly, for Mitch’s sake, I think you should tell him”

“Even though they have a huge house and a dog?”

“Yes, Ian” she spoke sternly “Mitchell doesn’t like liars and he’s strong enough to fight this. He dealt with your typical Gallagher shit for seven years before you left him”

“hmm I guess”

“He’s a Milkovich, he can handle it and you’ve hurt him numerous times in the past that telling him probably wouldn’t hurt at all”

“Hey!” Ian told her off, offended

“It’s true though”

Ian just rolled his eyes “I guess I’ll tell him tomorrow”

“Good, let me know how it goes”

“Of course! Now, what’s happening with you?”

“Well, I got into a business course!” She spoke excitedly

Ian’s face lit up, he felt so happy for her.

“Wow that’s amazing Mandy!”

“Yeah” she laughed “but that’s not what I was meant to tell you”

“Oh. What’s up?” he furrowed his brows

“I bumped into Lip…”

Ian’s face fell flat “ _bumped_ _into_ or _fucked_ ”

“…both”

“Mandy!” he scolded

“Hey! It wasn’t bad, and he’s doing really well a-and so am I. He’s changed a lot”

“Are you just going to forgive him after how he treated you?”

“You forgave Mickey for the years he treated you like shit and you’re expecting him to forgive you for how you treated him. You don’t think I should forgive Lip?”

“I don’t think you should be fucking him—Shit, I’m going to give him a call tomorrow”

“Don’t!” She panicked “let me handle it, okay? I just thought you should know”

Ian sighed

“We’re going on a date. Like a real date, to a fancy restaurant, and he’s paying”

Ian smiled slightly at the idea. All he wanted with Mickey was a _real date_

“okay, I’ll ease off…but I’m getting the first bus back if I find out he’s hurt you”

“I’m a Milkovich, Ian” she smirked “I’ll deal”

“Okay…” he exhaled “What did you do tonight?”

“I was with Lip” she chuckled “We were at the same party”

“Oh, nice”

“Yeah, now I’m home and I can’t stop thinking about it” she mumbled, clearly blushing

“I know what you mean” he chuckled

They both stayed silent for a moment, clearly both thinking about their New Year’s Eve

“Guess I should try and sleep” Mandy started to say goodbye

“Y-Yeah same” Ian shook out of his daydream

“Speak to me tomorrow?”

“Of course!”

“Okay…love you”

“I love you too” Ian smiled

They said goodbye and Ian put his phone on charge before climbing under the covers of his soft bed.

He felt genuinely nervous about confronting Mickey tomorrow. He wasn’t sure how the reaction would be. Hell, Mickey probably wouldn’t believe Ian but it was worth a shot.

Mandy was right, Mickey could handle this. Mickey didn’t deserve this and it shouldn’t be dragged out any longer than it already has been.

He deserves better.

Even if _better_ isn’t being with Ian, Mickey still deserves better than _this_.

Ian tried to just close his eyes, sleep and just not worry about it until the morning.

 

When Ian did wake up, it was past noon and he felt so dehydrated but not as hungover as he thought he would be.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, suddenly freezing as he remembered his phone call with Mandy.

_Mickey_

Ian felt nervous butterflies stimulate his entire body as he got out of bed, quickly going to brush his teeth and get his meds before going to the kitchen.

 

He got down the stairs and braced the living area with confidence, stopping in his tracks at the sight of André kissing Mickey up against the fridge.

“ _Jesus!_ ” Ian spoke aloud accidentally from the shock

It made him feel fowl, and slightly jealous, but mostly grossed out.

It added fuel to the fire in Ian’s chest.

It made him want to tell Mickey more now than ever.

“Shit!” Mickey pushed him off “sorry” he muttered

“Don’t worry about it” Ian muttered in response, shoving past André to get a bottle of water from the fridge, opening it to swallow his tablets.

“Uhhh” André cleared his throat “I have to go run an errand anyway, so I’ll see you later amor”

“Okay” Mickey sighed, scratching his lip.

He leaned into André’s kiss on the cheek and said his goodbyes.

“Bye Ian!” André waved as he walked out.

Ian just nodded him off, putting bread into the toaster.

Mickey watched Ian awkwardly. He didn’t feel that comfortable showing that stuff to Ian, no matter how much André wanted to make him jealous.

“Sleep well?” He tried to converse to avoid talking about what Ian saw.

Or whatever happened between Ian and Mickey last night.

Mickey thought Ian was so drunk he probably forgot by now, anyway.

“Yeah” Ian chuckled “last night was rough”

“Tell me about it” Mickey smirked, going to make himself some coffee.

Ian grabbed a plate, trying to think of a way to approach his confrontation. He wasn’t sure how long he could put it off for. He was better off telling him now when he had a moment alone with Mickey.

_The sooner André is out of the picture, the better._

“Want one?” Mickey offered, Ian shook his head

“Nah, I need to rehydrate” he told him, shaking the water bottle to show him

“Right”

Ian sighed and pulled his toast out, putting some peanut butter on it before sitting at the counter with his food, taking a few big gulps from his water bottle.

Gulps of nervousness, not gulps of actual thirst.

This was _not_ going to be easy.

It was dead silent in the house, the two awkwardly just stood in front of each other. Mickey sipped his coffee and Ian ate.

As Ian got halfway through his second piece of toast, he thought he may as well start a conversation.

“So what’s André doing?” he wondered, even though he didn’t care at all.

“Fuck should I know?” Mickey huffed “I don’t care”

“Right” Ian chewed his food, analyzing Mickey’s stand-offish body language.

He swallowed his food “How old is he anyway?”

“27” he told him casually

Ian’s brows rose, genuinely surprised

“Wow, an older guy? That’s a shock”

“What? you fuck guys older than your dad” Mickey became defensive

“Oh yeah, André’s not far off either”

“Fuck off!” Mickey retorted, Ian laughed

“You must miss younger men” Ian grinned flirtatiously, finishing off his toast

“Asshole, he’s not even that old” Mickey rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee

Ian smirked, getting up and putting his plate in the sink before grabbing his water bottle, walking towards the couch.

He had no clue what to say next that could lead into him spilling what he saw, but he went with whatever popped into his head.

“The real question is _Are you too old for him?_ ”

Ian sat on the couch and sipped his drink, Mickey walked towards him, his brows furrowed.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

Ian bit his lip, sinking down onto the couch “I saw him…”

Mickey shook his head, still confused by Ian’s attitude. He would ask if he’s taken his meds, but he saw Ian take them only 10 minutes ago.

“Saw him what?”

Ian became a bit more serious and decided to sit up “You might want to sit down”

“No—Fuck, Jesus Ian what the fuck is going on!?” He demanded.

He wasn’t worried, just annoyed that Ian wouldn’t get to the point.

“I saw André…fucking someone that wasn’t you”

Mickey just stared, not sure how he should respond.

“H-He called the dude ‘Amor’ and he called him ‘Andy’”

That hurt Mickey a little bit. He never actually knew how André acted with his side-dicks.

“So?” he spat out coldly

Ian furrowed his brows a little bit, confused “You don’t care?”

Mickey sighed and licked his lip “We’re in an open relationship”

Ian let out a bitter laugh, unsure what to think of that.

“What? You let him fuck other people?” Ian spoke, feeling his eyes sting at the idea that Mickey felt that’s what he’s really worthy of.

“I-It doesn’t mean anything. I fuck other guys too”

“That’s fucked up” Ian told him honestly “I left one of my ex’s for sleeping with a chick while he was with me, why would you be okay with this?”

Mickey laughed under his breath, kicking lightly at the couch.

Ian was fucking _unbelievable_

“Because at least I know about it, unlike you.” He pointed out “You went around fucking old guys behind my back and cheated on me to make a fucking porno!”

Ian felt anger rise up his chest and over-load his brain.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me Mickey!” His voice grew louder “We weren’t official and that was when you wouldn’t even _kiss_ me!”

Ian stood up, Mickey just shook his head.

“And don’t you fucking _dare_ bring up the porn thing because I was manic and did it for the money. The money _we_ needed. The money for _us!_ ”

“ _Us?_ ” Mickey scoffed “Go fuck yourself, Ian. Wait, don’t you have a trans boyfriend at home waiting to do it for you!?”

“Jesus Christ!” Ian shouted “I LEFT HIM TO BE WITH YOU!”

The room fell silent again. Mickey felt his eyes glaze over as he smiled distastefully. He had heard enough.

“Does it look like I fucking need you?”

Ian took a deep breath, stepping closer towards Mickey. Despite how much that sentence hurt.

“Actually, yes. Because you don’t deserve a man that fucks others and makes you believe this is okay. You see this reaction? The reaction you have towards _me_ sleeping with other people?”

Mickey stayed quiet, his eyes locked on Ian’s. Heat raging through the both of them.

“You were never okay with not being monogamous" Ian continued "You and I both get jealous, we both never liked the idea of being _open_. The only reason I got off with other guys was because it was my _job_. It was never my _choice_ …Mick, André chooses to fuck other people and treats them the same way he treats _you_. I _never_ treated any of the men in my life with the love I shared with  _you_ ”

Mickey looked down, feeling a tear roll down his cheek.

Ian felt his heart ache knowing his honesty was probably a bit _too_ honest.

“Mick…” he whispered, going to wipe the tear away.

Mickey shoved him back “Fuck you!”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, staring at the angry and distraught Milkovich.

“If you love me why can’t you accept that I’m happy?” Mickey questioned

“Mickey, of course I’m happy you’re happy! But _he_ isn’t what makes you happy”

Mickey grinded his teeth, he once again had that feeling of wanting to throw Ian out the window.

He never wanted to see Ian again.

Ian stepped towards Mickey in order to comfort him, but Mickey instantly defended himself, swinging a punch to Ian’s face.

Ian caught Mickey’s wrist before he got the chance and pushed him back into the wall.

“Just because we’re south side doesn’t mean we have to fight like we’re in the south side”

Mickey shook his head, hating the feeling of Ian’s hot breath on his neck.

“You think you know shit, don’t you? Well you don’t. What you’ve seen in the past week doesn’t sum up my entire _fucking_ relationship” Mickey argued, pushing him off.

Ian breathed slowly to calm his heaving chest

“I look forward to finding out what it’s _really fucking like,_ then”

Mickey laughed bitterly, facing Ian intimidatingly.

“You preach shit about what you think you know, and I promise you’ll be outside sleeping on the curb like a stray dog. Got it?” he threatened, brows raised high

Ian just glared into Mickey’s angry blue eyes, letting him know he won’t back out.

“Fuck you” Ian spat

“ _You. Fucking._ Wish” Mickey hissed, walking away and up the stairs to his bedroom.

Ian let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

All he wanted to do was let out a loud, heart-wrenching scream.

_Shit!_


	11. Chapter 11

It had been almost a week since Ian and Mickey’s confrontation.

It still pained Ian in every sense of the term. Mickey and Ian hadn’t really spoken to each other unless André was there or was the one who started the conversation.

Imagine; an entire week where the only person Ian could speak to properly was _André_

There were worse things in the world, sure. But after that fight, Ian didn’t want to stare at André’s stupid face ever again.

That was probably just the guilt and jealousy talking, though.

Ian guessed that maybe the reason the fight hadn’t really resolved was because they were the fight-and-make-up-fuck kind of people.

But these two couldn’t just move on, that wasn’t possible. 

It was as if all that built up rage from when he first got here just exploded in the middle of the living room.

Mickey clearly has a lot of hurt inside of him, and Ian understands that, but after the last time Ian tried to confront Mickey and speak to him, he was scared to do it again.

He wasn’t sure how to approach Mickey and just _talk_ it out. Ian was never that type of person. He was never taught how to have a decent conversation that didn’t end in screaming when trying to resolve an issue.

The only person he could somewhat speak to was Mandy, and when Mandy heard what had happened she wasn’t exactly happy about it.

_‘Fucking hell, Ian! When I said talk to him I meant talk and comfort not snap and yell at him. He’s already pissed at you. Why couldn’t you just be calm!?’_

Ian was never calm when he approached the situation in the first place and maybe that’s where the mistake lied.

Looking back on it, Ian realized he overreacted when Mickey did his typical insult-to-cover-up-pain act.

Honestly, Ian felt so horribly guilty, but glad he knew what was really going on.

Even if he didn’t agree with it.

But he didn’t care about that now.

He had just ruined whatever he and Mickey were rebuilding—It was going to take a lot for Mickey to ease up to Ian again.

Maybe all Ian really had to do was say sorry?

A proper one, with actual words. Not abuse.

In order to do that meant he’d have to have a moment alone with Mickey again which he never had, simply because whenever Ian was home, Mickey made sure to go out and whenever Mickey was home, André was too.

This was truly suffocating him.

 

Ian walked down stairs on the morning that would mark the 7th day of silence to find André getting his shit together for work.

Ian took a quick glimpse around the room, having a disappointing feeling sink deep into his consciousness.

“No Mickey?” he wondered, clear disappointment in his voice no matter how hard he tried to cover it up.

“Yeah, went out early. Something about a work meeting,” André shrugged, “I didn’t hear about it though.”

Ian nodded, knowing that Mickey most likely wasn’t at a work meeting.

“I think he just needs space,” André continued, writing down on a piece of paper against the countertop.

Ian frowned as he walked around to boil the kettle.

“What do you mean?”

André sighed, “He isn’t a…what do you call them? A _person_ person”

“People person?” Ian corrected, unimpressed.

“Yes! Which is very different to me.”

Ian smirked, knowing well that André was more than just a people person.

“I guess because I let you stay he’s still not that okay with it, but I’m not the type to just leave someone in the cold, you know?” He vented his thoughts

Ian nodded, understanding. André talked to Ian a lot about random things just for the sake of conversation, but this was something different.

André was coming to him to vent about _Mickey._

He wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

“Yeah…What are you writing?” Ian changed to topic.

“Oh, just a list. Would you mind doing some things for me today?” André asked nicely.

Ian’s face fell flat for a second before putting on a fake smile.

“Sure!” he kindly accepted the favor, “What?”

“Just go to the store, get some groceries. You can take the Chevrolet,” He informed Ian, pulling what looked like a spare key from the second drawer of the kitchen counter before passing it over.

“Okay,” Ian smiled, taking the key, “thanks”

“I will write the address on this paper so you can put it on your phone or whatever," he shrugged.

“Awesome,” Ian nodded, making himself the cup of coffee once the water stopped boiling.

“I’ll give you the money—and a bit extra for anything you want. Buy yourself some new clothes in town too, if you like”

Ian stirred his coffee, unsure how to take that comment.

“Why? What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“Uh…” André bit his lip, hesitant to say what he was thinking.

“Jesus don’t worry, I get it,” Ian huffed, sipping his drink.

André must’ve brought Mickey a whole new wardrobe when he got here, too.

Ian was actually kind of excited, he hadn’t really had the chance to really look around, he hadn’t even put his feet on the sand of the beach that was right behind the house.

Today, he would see what the town was really like, so he wasn’t too mad about it at all.

He was just excited to leave the house.

* * *

 Ian found the grocery store pretty easily and got a parking spot pretty easily too. The Chevrolet Sonic he drove was one of four cars André had, and it did pretty well. Ian assumed it was the car he had _before_ the money come rolling in.

The important thing was that the car worked, and it did, so Ian wasn’t worried.

 

He paced the aisles with his shopping cart, putting the things they asked for inside the cart.

Shopping was kind of therapeutic for Ian. He got to just have time outside of the house to enjoy something unfamiliar that was so _normal_.

The list was pretty simple to understand, since André put translations next to each item that would be hard for Ian to find.

It was long and filled with things Ian would never be able to afford back home, with most of the stuff not being home-brand or generic items.

Also, when the fuck did Mickey really eat this many fruits and vegetables?

There was no way it was all for André.

That was something Ian wanted to see.

 

Enjoying his alone time, Ian just took his time, taking interest in items that weren’t sold back in Chicago.

It was when he hit the freezer section that Lip called.

Ian genuinely found excitement seeing his name show up on his screen, he swiped right away, holding the phone to his ear.

“Hey!” He greeted enthusiastically

“Yo! How’s Mexico treating you?” Lip asked right away

“Yeah, pretty good. I’m at the store right now buying food”

“Food for Mitchell?” Lip smirked

Ian furrowed, confused.

“How—Mandy…” Ian realized with a sigh

“Yeah, we’ve been uh, talking about it. You told her I know, so…”

“It’s fine” Ian laughed lightly “she tell you everything?”

“Yeah, holy fuck dude I can’t believe it” he laughed “Mitchell’s rolling, huh?”

“Oh yeah, got himself a sugar daddy that is like a 6”4 puppy dog” Ian smirked, walking slowly down the aisle as he looked for what he needed.

“…That sounds terrifying” Lip chuckled “anyway, just thought I’d check in quick before I head to work”

“Cool, cool” Ian nodded, stopping as he found the item needed “hey, you serious about Mandy this time?” he had to wonder, opening the door to grab it.

“I think so?” Lip spoke, his voice pitchy “I’m enjoying it though, I’m enjoying her…I think I kind of missed her”

Ian smiled, happy to hear that. He knew exactly what he meant.

“I get what you mean” he laughed

“Fucking Milkoviches, huh?” Lip laughed along.

Ian smirked “Milkoviches”

“Anyway man, I’ll check in with you at a later date when we’re not busy”

“Okay, cool” Ian shrugged “have fun at work”

“Yeah, and you have fun playing house with what’s-his-face and sugar daddy”

“Will do” Ian grinned “bye”

“Bye”

 

* * *

 

 

_Mickey pushed André onto the bed, climbing on top of him to meet his lips to his boyfriend’s soft neck. Mickey felt his fingers crawl their way into his raven hair as he used all the passion he had to kiss all the sweet spots amongst André’s neck._

_André pulled Mickey up to meet his lips, the two grinding together in perfect unison as they began undressing. Slow, agonizing._

_Just the way Mickey hated it._

_André sat up, his hands holding Mickey against him from the small of his back._

_Mickey leaned his head back, letting his boyfriend pepper slow kisses down his chest._

_Mickey looked out the window to a Chicago skyline, looking back down to see ginger hair, pale skin and freckles._

_Ian was suddenly the one kissing Mickey’s chest, and all Mickey could feel was hot, adrenaline-rushing passion._

_Ian rolled Mickey onto his back, the two meeting each other’s lips so hard Ian’s teeth were sure to make his lip bleed, but Mickey didn’t care, the two tasting each other deeply with the twining of their tongues._

_Oh god, Mickey just wanted to combust. It felt like he hadn’t had sex in months._

_Suddenly, Mickey walked into his bedroom, watching the couple in his bed._

_André was pinning Ian down on the bed, their tongues entwining with the same amount of passion Ian and Mickey shared._

_Ian moved his head to face Mickey, looking stunned like a deer in headlights at the sight of him._

_“Mick!” Ian exclaimed_

_Mickey was pointing a gun at the pair now and André was quick to get off him._

_“Amor, why!? You said you were okay with this!?” He pleaded._

_Cold and uncaring, Mickey pulled the trigger._

_André fell to the floor._

_Ian let out a scream._

_But suddenly, Mickey was back on the bed, feeling his lungs about to burst as he looked at the door to find André to be the one who pulled the trigger._

_Ian was the one on the floor._

Mickey jolted awake, feeling his heart beating like crazy.

_What the fuck was that._

“Baby, you okay?” André mumbled from his side of the bed.

Mickey breathed deeply, sitting up as he tried to gain composure.

“Yeah…Go back to sleep” Mickey told him simply.

The image of him shooting André, the image of André pulling that trigger, the imagine of Ian holding Mickey like that. The screams.

It wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon.

Mickey carefully got out of bed, grabbing his smokes and his hoodie as he approached the double doors that led to their personal balcony.

That was the first nightmare Mickey had since Ian had gotten here.

It didn’t mean anything of course, but it was still fucking scary.

Mickey put on the hoodie and closed the door behind him, squinting at the sunrise as he lit his cigarette.

_Good Morning, Acapulco._

He sat on one of the outdoor chairs, just staring out to the ocean over the tall brick fence of their house.

He inhaled the toxins and exhaled them at the same pace, trying to gather his thoughts.

Just like cigarettes, Ian was a bad habit his mind could never forget.

At this point, cigarettes were less dangerous for his health than Ian Gallagher was.

Mickey sat there and just thought about everything and anything, hoping the smoke would drown the thoughts out.

He couldn’t lie to himself, he wasn’t that mad at Ian anymore.

He was just pissed off at the whole situation and was more than pissed off that André carelessly let Ian stay with them.

Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t regret letting Ian stay here, but it was hard to face that he really _was_ here, after leaving Mickey the way he did.

Mickey was slowly learning to cope with his anger towards that, though.

Slowly

However, Mickey was annoyed at what Ian said the other day, and Mickey was going to stand by his own statements no matter what happens.

Even if this Open Relationship shredded him to pieces.

Ian had no right to judge something he had no clue about, even if it was partially true.

Yes, it hurts to know André is out there loving people with the same amount of love he showed Mickey.

But Mickey had a roof over his head, food in his stomach and a stable job. That seemed more important than feelings. Especially when you’re a fugitive that’s presumed dead at this stage.

The fugitive thing should matter more than all this _love_ bullshit, and Mickey had to remind himself of the reality—that there probably was no _real_ future for him.

The life he shared with André was as good as it was going to get.

André supplied Mickey with stability and the least Mickey could do is allow him to fuck others.

Even if they did apparently love each other.

He watched the smoke evaporate into the air and sighed.

“Fuck” he muttered to himself, unable to shake the visuals in his mind.

He had a nightmare and somewhere deep inside of him, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed with Ian instead of his own boyfriend.

That thought terrified him more than the nightmare itself.

 

Mickey finished his cigarette and just sat there for a moment, just watching the sun light up the sky.

There was no way he was going to get back to sleep.

He made his way back into the bedroom, chewing his lips as he watched how the sun shined over André’s torso.

 _This_ _might take the edge off._

Mickey took his hoodie off, crawling on the bed to trail kisses up André’s chest.

“Andy…” Mickey hummed, sickeningly sweet

André groaned, stretching as the warm kisses woke him.

“¿que pasa?” He asked, Mickey smirked.

“Nothing” he told him softly, kissing his cheek as he slipped a hand under the sheets and into André’s boxers, jerking him slowly.

Just the way he liked it.

He moaned softly, opening his eyes so he could meet his lips to Mickey

“What do you want?” he mumbled

Mickey embraced his lips completely with his own, adding just a teasing touch of tongue.

Mickey whispered in return “do I gotta spell it out for you?”

André grinned, rolling Mickey over so he could get on top. He looked down into Mickey’s eyes with so much admiration, as if Mickey was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Not at all” he replied, pressing his lips to Mickey’s neck as he quickly tugged his boxers down, getting straight to the point.

Mickey moaned, throwing his head back as he allowed André to just do what he did best—to take his mind off things when cigarettes just couldn’t do the job.

 

* * *

 

 The 8th day came about and once again—Ian was isolated in silence.

Only difference between yesterday and today was André just left a note of things Ian could do around the house, saying;

_‘You don’t have to but if you’re bored or something, here’s a list of things that need to be done…’_

Ian wasn’t prepared to feel like a slave. But there was nothing for Ian to do, especially when he hardly knew the language.

Maybe that’s what he could do in his spare time.

Learn the language.

It wasn’t like he had anything else to do.

Well, besides the things on this list.

The list included petty jobs like packing away the dishwasher and taking the dog for a walk. It was doable, and certainly easy compared to the jobs he’d have to do in the Gallagher house.

So, after his breakfast, he put all the washing into the machine, unpacked the dishwasher and made the beds.

There were a few rooms in this house, but Ian wasn’t that interested in knowing what was behind the doors that led to them.

He didn’t want to find something that would make him dislike André even more.

 

After lunch, he moved the clothes to the dryer and decided to take the dog for a walk—despite how bored and tiring the housework was.

Chico was happy about it, jumping around and barking at the leash excitedly.

“Oh, you wanna go for a walk, huh?” Ian chuckled, mumbling to himself “what’s ‘walk’ in Spanish?”

He shook his head, calling Chico over.

The brown Labrador didn’t oblige, letting Ian put on the lead with ease.

Ian loved Chico and how happy he made Ian feel. Ian never cared about pets usually, he used to always want one when he was little but Fiona said they couldn’t afford it.

As a kid, Ian would feed a few stray cats and dogs that wandered around and he had more than enough fishes in his life that he looked after.

But he always wanted a dog or cat. Just a companion to make him happy, like Chico and Mandy’s cat Jasper. He considered them to be like his god-babies.

Even if the owners didn’t know about it.

 

Ian walked out the door with Chico, using the spare key to lock up the house before moving onto the street.

He had no clue where to walk, but decided walking around the block might be a good start.

Ian wished he was thinking about anything but Mickey, but couldn’t. He walked around and with each step, he obsessed over _how_ he would apologize.

How could he? The words _‘I’m sorry_ ’ wouldn’t cover what Ian was really thinking.

What he was thinking, was opening up to him with hopes Mickey would speak to him, too. He wanted to talk to Mickey about real shit, not some bullshit small-talk over the _‘old days.’_

He wanted to hear what it took Mickey to get here, he wanted to apologize for any pain he caused. He wanted to tell Mickey about Monica, because Mickey knew how hard it was for Ian to handle her.

Despite the jealousy and anger, Ian even wanted to know how he met André and tell him how he broke up with Trevor.

He wanted them to catch up, to be as close as they used to be.

Even if that meant just platonically—All Ian wanted was for Mickey to just _talk_.

 

Ian walked down the next street, noticing the pathway that led to a beach.

He smiled at the idea. He had never really been to a beach.

Sure, there was New Year’s, but he was drunk and didn’t really soak up what it was really like.

So he made his way to the pathway and walked up the slight incline, smiling wide at the sight of the blue water.

Holy fuck, was it blue, and the sand looked so soft.

He took off his flip flops, and held them in his free hand, allowing Chico to lead him as if he had been on this walk a few hundred times before.

There was something about beaches that were so beautiful to Ian.

Ian understood what Mickey meant now.

_‘That’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach…us’_

All Ian kept thinking about was that quote and how it resonated perfectly.

The sight was beautiful, the waves were crashing into the shore strongly and you had no idea what lay beneath them.

The beach would forever remind Ian of Mickey, and whatever they used to be.

Ian felt nostalgic, even though he had never really seen a real beach before.

He made his way down the soft sand carefully until it became more solid from the ocean that soaked into it.

He decided to sit on the softer sand for a moment, making Chico sit with him. The dog panted as Ian rubbed his back, just looking out to the sight of it all. Soaking in the sun and the sound of the waves.

Ian was tempted to walk down further and put his foot into the water, but didn’t want Chico to get wet or dirty from it. He decided he would come back alone and test out the water himself.

The sun was warm and bright, making Ian wish clouds or sunglasses would magically appear but no, not a cloud in a sky.

Ian wasn’t even sure he packed sunglasses.

 

His relaxation was suddenly interrupted when a woman came down with her small sized dog.

Ian pulled hard on the lead as Chico stood up, wagging his tail and barking at the fellow dog.

The dog was a mutt, and a cute one at that. Some sort of Chihuahua cross breed that Chico could easily rip the head off if he wasn’t careful. It wouldn’t be Chico’s fault, but a playful large Labrador and a small dog like that definitely would not mix.

The honey-blonde woman smiled at Ian and he smiled back kindly, apologizing for his embarrassing puppy dog.

“Chico, sit!” Ian commanded, pushing down on his back, but he wasn’t listening.

Ian just rolled his eyes, hoping he would calm down eventually.

The woman walked a fair distance away with her dog, unleashing her to play fetch with a tennis ball.

Chico jolted at the leash, wanting to catch the ball.

“No, It’s not your ball! Okay?” Ian scolded “Sit!”

He didn’t listen, barking as he continued to tug, wanting to play with the other dog.

“I swear if you pull some Marley and Me shit…” Ian told him, as if he could understand.

Ian decided it was best to leave, but that’s where the mistake lied.

Just as he got up, the ball went flying into the water nearby and Chico tugged when Ian least expected it.

Ian tripped, letting go of the lead, avoiding the feeling of sand on his lips as he called out after the dog.

“Chico!” He yelled “I said no!”

Ian quickly stood up, feeling his heart in his throat from panic.

He had never swum in ocean currents before, but it looked like he had to if he was going to get the dog back.

He wasn’t even sure the dog could swim.

“Fuck” Ian muttered, watching the other dog go into the water, the lady running up also.

Ian thought fast, pulling off his tank top and shorts, running in with just his boxers on.

There was nothing worse than running on soft sand, but Ian did it anyway, no matter how many times he came close to tripping, he ran towards that water.

“Nina no!” The woman told off her dog as Ian ran

He began to hyperventilate, watching the waves getting closer.

Nothing could’ve prepared Ian for how cold the water felt on him warm body.

“Shit, shit!” He muttered, making his way deeper into the currents to catch up with Chico who had just managed to catch the ball.

“Chico!” Ian called out, diving in to catch to him

Chico was struggling a bit to keep up with the pressure of the waves, as was Ian. The tide was pretty high considering it was only the early-afternoon.

Ian emerged from the waves with a gasp, spitting out any salt water that managed to get into his mouth as he found the lead that floated peacefully in the water.

He stood up, the water up to his shoulders as he pulled Chico towards him.

Chico gave him the puppy-eyed look as Ian pulled the ball out from between his teeth.

“I told you this wasn’t yours!” He scolded, wrapping his arm around his torso as he directed the dog back to the shore.

 

The woman was standing at the shoreline with her dog on a leash, watching Ian slowly come up from the waves.

Ian was breathing heavily as he made it on to steady land, feeling the soft air give his wet skin goosebumps.

“uh, Perdón mi perro” Ian apologized in Spanish, handing the soaked ball to the rather-athletic woman.

“¿tu hablas español?” she wondered, her voice sounded very light and cutesy. Like the Mexican version of a ditzy valley girl.

Ian hesitated, pushing his soaked hair away from his face “Not really…poco?” Ian raised his bows, hoping he was speaking correctly

She laughed “American?” her accent putting abbreviation on the ‘r’

“Yeah” Ian awkwardly chuckled, being cautious of Chico who was sniffing at the smaller dog.

The woman looked Ian up and down, smirking slightly.

It was at this point Ian realized his soaked boxers revealed a bit _too much_ of Ian’s body.

“Shit!” He exclaimed, covering his exposed penis with his free hand.

She just laughed again “It okay” she assured “muchas gracias”

Ian smiled awkwardly as she began to walk away

“¡Adiós!”

Ian quickly waved goodbye before looking down at Chico, feeling an overwhelming sense of annoyance.

“Look at us! We’re soaked!” He complained “Guess who has to have a bath now?”

Chico looked up at him, with his eyes showing sadness and guilt.

“Yeah that’s right, you” he paused “…and me, too” Ian cleared his throat “come on”

 

Ian stood by his pile of clothes, waiting for the sun and air to dry him since he didn’t bring towels.

God, how was he supposed to explain this when he got home?

Mickey would probably freak.

Great, more things for Mickey to hate him for.

Ian vowed to himself that he would never go to the beach with a dog alone ever again.

 

Ian walked home rather aggressively, his boxers still damp and sand gritting between his toes as he walked. He wasn’t very happy, and was sure he even got sand in crevasses it definitely did _not_ belong.

He was also sure he was struggling from sort of heat exhaustion. The salt in the water made him feel so thirsty he could honestly drink an entire gallon of water right now.

When Ian approached the door, he was scared, hoping someone wasn’t home.

All he wanted to do was get Chico and himself into the backyard to rinse them down with the hose before going in for a shower, the bath could wait.

He wanted to make it look like nothing ever happened, and he would.

The doors opened and Ian shuddered at the high-pressure air conditioning, not letting Chico off the lead as he pulled him down the hallway.

“What the fuck happened here?”

Ian froze at the sound of that rough, beautiful voice.

“Mick—” Ian couldn’t even spit out the words

Mickey was trying to keep some composure, but let out a laugh at the sight of how Ian looked.

“Don’t tell me…You took him to the beach?” He assumed, putting down the clothes he was folding to walk over.

“Well” Ian huffed “didn’t think this is what would happen”

Mickey grabbed the lead off him with a look of disgust from how sandy it felt.

Ian couldn’t help but stare, Mickey just looked so good.

Well, much better than however Ian looked right now, that was for sure.

He forgets just how blue those eyes are.

They were bluer and far brighter than the ocean ever would be.

“Yeah, he loves the beach” Mickey smiled softly down at the still slightly-damp dog who seemed so happy to see Mickey.

“There was another dog, that had a tennis ball” was all Ian could say to explain

Mickey laughed mockingly, knowing what that was like

“Oh yeah, big fucking mistake”

Ian just breathed deeply, smirking as the frustration subsided a little.

“I realize that now”

“You look red as shit too, let me guess; you forgot sunscreen?”

Ian’s expression fell “You’re kidding?”

“Nope” Mickey smirked “your skin is almost as red as your hair. Don’t worry, mostly just your nose and arms”

Ian walked over to the hallway mirror and his eyes widened at the sight

“…And your back” Mickey continued

“Fuck!” Ian whined

“Don’t worry, man. Go take a shower, I’ll get the Aloe Vera”

Ian looked over at Mickey, smiling slightly.

He realized that this was the most they had spoken in ages, and Mickey was being…nice?

“What?” Mickey wondered, looking at Ian as if he was a weirdo

“Nothing…just, what about Chico? And the trail of sand we probably brought with us?” Ian questioned

“I’ll deal with it” Mickey assured “Just, get clean, you smell like ocean and bad B.O”

Ian was at first offended by the statement, before he took a quick whiff of himself.

“Shit, sorry!” He chuckled awkwardly, Mickey grinned.

“Just go take a fucking shower”

 

When Ian came back downstairs, he felt far more refreshed. The hot shower helped soothe him, even though he could feel that tight-burning feeling across his arms and back now.

He hoped that his sunburn would at least result in some sort of tan, but knowing his Irish blood, he’ll heal and become even more white.

Ian walked into the living room with only a pair of tracksuits on, looking at Mickey who sat on the couch with a clean, dry Chico who slept next to him.

He just had to smile at the sight.

“Hey” Ian greeted with a soft smile.

Mickey looked over with slight smile back “Hey, Aloe Vera is on the table” he nodded towards it

Ian walked over and grabbed the tube of the gel from the table, reading the back of it.

“This shit work?” he wondered

“It won’t make it go away, but it helps”

Ian nodded “thanks” he mumbled.

Ian sat on the couch opposite him, squeezing the gel over the redness on his left arm first, relaxing at the cooling sensation.

He couldn’t believe how hot his skin actually felt as he rubbed it in.

The burn wasn’t as bad as Mickey made it out to be—It wasn’t bright red but more of a pink color. Although, if he was out there any longer he probably would look like a tomato.

Ian finished both arms and did the small patch on his chest, loving the air conditioning that blew on his skin, keeping that cooling sensation present.

“Where is it on my face?” Ian asked Mickey who was occupied by the TV

Mickey looked over, examining quickly

“Just your nose and a bit on your forehead”

Ian nodded, applying it in those spots.

“Okay…” he breathed to himself as he squeezed the gel from the tube onto his fingers, rubbing it into what he could reach of his back.

Mickey tried to keep his eyes off Ian shirtless in his living room, but couldn’t help and look over at Ian struggling to reach all the redness on his back.

He rolled his eyes and then chewed his lip, unable to help himself.

“Fuck. Here, give it to me” Mickey got up and held his hand out for the gel.

“It’s alright” Ian spoke as if he was holding his breath “I got it”

Mickey walked over and snatched it from his hand

“No, you don’t. It’s fucking everywhere” he sighed

Ian frowned slightly, trying to avoid the storm in his stomach as he moved so Mickey could see his back.

Mickey squeezed the gel over his upper back, Ian relaxing into the sensation of his strong hands rubbing it in.

Ian refrained from making a dumb comment about how they never really massaged each other before, just letting Mickey do what had to be done, whilst Mickey was trying to refrain from getting ahead of himself and thinking about his hot, soft skin, remembering that he _should_ be angry.  

But he just couldn’t _help_ but _help_ a _helpless Gallagher_.

“This shit is going to peel like a mother fucker” he snickered as it sunk into the skin, wiping the excess on his hands onto Ian’s shoulders.

Ian screwed up his nose at the thought

“Yuck.”

Mickey closed the cap and got up to put it on the dining table where the dog couldn’t reach it.

“Thank you,” Ian said politely.

“No worries,” Mickey replied as he made his way back over.

As he went to sit down, Ian spoke up.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ian apologized, his voice coming out genuine and scared.

Mickey stood up again, furrowing his brows, “What for?”

“The other day,” Ian looked down, “a-and for leaving you at the border, as well as for never visiting you in prison.”

Mickey stood there, stunned. He never expected Ian would apologize. Ian usually just expected everything to go back to normal.

Ian looked up at Mickey now, his eyes sparkling only slightly, “I’m sorry, for everything.”

Mickey scratched his chin, hesitating before sitting next to Ian on the couch where they faced each other. He had no clue what to say.

They looked into each other’s eyes, feeling such a familiar feeling but it felt so distant.

That feeling was guarded, locked in a cage.

The key. Buried.

Mickey looked away from his green-toned eyes, licking his lip.

“I understand if you don’t want to forgive me,” Ian continued, “But, I wanted you to know I’m sorry.”

“I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry,” Mickey told him bluntly, making eye contact again.

Ian looked down again, feeling disheartened. He had no idea how to fix this.

Mickey let out a loud sigh, as if he were annoyed this had to come up _right now_.

“Ian, I _do_ forgive you but that’s not what I’m upset about,” he told him.

Their eyes met again, Mickey able to see Ian couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.

“I just want you to understand,” he explained, his brows raised assertively.

“Understand what?” Ian frowned.

“Me,” he told him simply, “I don’t care if you’re sorry, I don’t want your fucking pity, okay? I want you to put yourself in my shoes for a second.”

Ian swallowed the tightness in his throat, “H-How?”

Mickey took a deep breath, “I went through a fuck-load of shit for you, went to prison for you. I don’t want you feeling sorry, I just want you to understand me.”

Ian nodded, “then talk to me.”

“The only reason I went to prison was for _you,_ for what Sammi did. You broke up with me, and I acted out. You weren’t there for my court hearing so I acted out some more. I-I spent every-fucking-day in the joint wishing to get out. I was slowly spiraling out of control. Being left in a cage, alone, with fucking _no one_ but yourself gets hard. Especially when you’re like me”

Ian looked down, knowing to some extent what that was like.

Except it wasn’t the same, it just felt similar. Ian spent a whole year trapped in his own messed up brain. But prison—yeah that would definitely be harder.

“You hardly saw me,” Mickey continued, “You came once because you wanted to, the next because Svetlana paid you to. You said you’d wait for me but I knew it was probably a lie, especially when you never showed up, and eventually, Svetlana never came around either.”

“ _Fuck,”_ Ian breathed, wanting to apologize but knew that’s not what he wanted. He just wanted Ian to listen.

“And I get it, that it’s hard for you to see me behind the glass. That works both fucking ways, Ian. It was hard knowing the person you’re in love with is out there, probably moving on whilst you’re stuck in a box. Fuck, it’s painful. All I could think about was you, and where we could go if you let me take you somewhere once I got out. I wanted us to escape, start fresh, but all I could really do is hope that the person you’re with would take care of you, the way I wished I could.”

Mickey took another deep breath, trying to just talk and not let his emotions go.

“I don’t blame you if you bad-mouthed me or became embarrassed to admit you were in a relationship with some fucked up kid like me. I get it.”

“No,” Ian interjected immediately, looking Mickey in the eyes.

Mickey stared back, showing vulnerability to Ian who scooted closer.

“I was never embarrassed,” Ian assured him, confessing, “I thought about you. Every day. I acted out in anger and had no idea who I was anymore, Mick.”

“Ditto,” Mickey huffed with a smirk, looking down at his tattooed hands.

Ian smiled sadly, “lucky for me, I became an EMT which distracted me. I had two boyfriends after you but nothing—” Ian paused, licking his dry lips, “nothing ever filled that part of me that wanted you.”

Mickey chewed his bottom lip, blinking away tears as he nodded.

He tried so hard not to let any of this get to him.

“Yeah, I get it.”

Ian kept his eyes on Mickey, “I’m still sorry though, and not out of pity. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you back then.”

Mickey stared at Ian, still guarding himself, “Why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t even know who I was, Mickey. So much shit went down while you were gone,” Ian shook his head, trying not to think about all the memories, “It was a lot”

“What happened?” Mickey had to wonder, “What the fuck could’ve stopped you?”

“Fiona, Lip, Debbie, Carl,” Ian huffed, “They had their own shit going on, they needed me.”

Mickey smirked, “You the only Gallagher with his shit together? That’s a first.”

“Yeah,” Ian laughed softly, “Normal is so boring, though.”

“I know what you mean,” Mickey laughed with him, “But then I remember I’m a fugitive in a different country and it reminds me that I’m far from fucking normal.”

“And that’s why I joined you,” Ian grinned.

Mickey rolled his eyes, “Yeah, a year after I got here.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Ian sighed, “I’m glad you’re happy, though.”

Mickey met his eyes with Ian’s and smiled, despite the pain the Gallagher had caused him.

“And I know I have no business saying shit about your relationship. So, I’m sorry for that,” Ian apologized.

“It’s fine,” Mickey assured, “It wasn’t really that big of a deal, I just let out all my anger on you.”

“Understandable,” Ian chuckled with a touch of sadness in his tone, “Hey, if you ever don’t want me here and want me to stay at a hotel, just tell me and I will.”

“Nah,” Mickey smiled, putting his hand on the nape of Ian’s neck, squeezing gently, “It’s kind of nice having you around.”

Ian couldn’t help but smile, enjoying the bonding moment they were having.

The pair continued to talk, too. They drank a few beers and ate some snacks, Mickey shared war-stories of what prison was like and the jobs he did for Svetlana. He also explained more in-depth about the prison guard that fell for him.

Ian shared stories about his siblings, how Debbie had Franny, Lip’s alcoholism, Carl’s bad-boy-turned-good life and Fiona’s investments.

Something was sparking between them, as if the cage was breaking open.

They chose to ignore it. At least for now.

“Tell me, how did you meet him?” Ian asked, genuinely curious as he put one of his clean shirts Mickey had folded on.

“Who?” Mickey wondered, chewing on the M&M’s “André?”

“Obviously, unless you got someone else living here” Ian smirked

“It’s a pretty long story” Mickey hesitated, slouching his back onto the couch.

Ian shrugged, slouching with him “We’ve got time”

He swigged his beer, swallowing as he tried to remember specifics.

“I wasn’t sure where I was driving when I got over that border. I just kept driving, keeping my mind distracted from…you know” he awkwardly cleared his throat “I pretty much drank away most nights, distracting myself further with a _lot_ of women. Being gay in Mexico is a bit harder than back home, so I kept it safe—”

Ian pursed his lips, hoping this wouldn’t go in the same direction as his trip here did.

“I found a gay club” Mickey explained “and I wasn’t even inside the club yet when I got approached by this dude. I took a walk with him and next thing I know his friends jump me and they all start tearing me to shreds and I fought them off until I was fucking black and blue.”

“What the fuck!?” Ian became suddenly angry “What for?”

“No reason, really” Mickey shrugged “Gay bash”

“Shit, Mick!” Ian empathized, watching how he just stared at the roof.

“It’s fine, probably karma from how many times I kicked a kid for being a fag”

Ian stayed quiet and Mickey sighed, looking down to pick at the label on his beer.

“So anyway, I’m losing until this other guy comes in and starts yelling and kicking at them—”

“André?”

“Yeah” Mickey smiled, looking at Ian “bit embarrassing to admit I couldn’t fight them but that’s how we met”

“Wow” Ian huffed, smiling. Even if there was that hint of jealousy roaming his thoughts.

“He took me back to his hotel room and we didn’t even fuck, he just cleaned me up and we talked. Then he offered me to come to Acapulco where he got me the job”

“Nice” Ian nodded “Guess there’s a reason for everything, then”

“the fuck do you mean?” Mickey wondered, his brows furrowed

“Me leaving you…as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think you’d be in this great of a situation if I hadn’t had left”

“I guess” Mickey sniffed, twirling the beer bottle between his fingers “It still hurt, a lot”

“I-I know. It hurt me too”

Mickey sighed, looking over at him

“What was holding you back then that didn’t hold you back this time?”

Ian was honest

“My job, I guess? My boyfriend wasn’t really a reason, but I knew something was holding me back. Monica was also back, remember I told you?”

Mickey nodded, remembering now as Ian crossed his legs as he sat up on the couch

“Something was calling me home and I just don’t think I was ready…If I were to come with you I needed more time. I wasn’t used to the _rush_ anymore”

Mickey just stared, gathering his thoughts.

Ian sighed, confiding in Mickey “I guess it was bad timing anyway. I got home to find out my mom had died”

Mickey gasped slightly, knowing how much Monica meant to Ian.

“Shit, are you alright?”

“No” Ian laughed bitterly “and no one seemed to care how it affected me. All I could think was _‘wow, I should’ve left with Mickey’_ but I believed they needed me, so I stayed”

Mickey pursed his lips, shaking his head “I’m sorry”

They seemed to understand each other better now, but Ian didn’t want him to be sorry.

“It’s fine seriously” Ian smiled sadly “doesn’t matter now, I got here eventually by getting a few months off work for being bipolar then robbed a pharmacy to get meds since my doc wouldn’t give them to me”

“What!?” Mickey sat up, laughing with disbelief “You? Ian Gallagher?”

“Yeah” Ian smirked as he laughed “I went to all lengths to make sure I’d get here okay and stay _okay_ ”

“Fuck, I’m proud of you” Mickey had to tell him

And he was. He was proud Ian pulled it off and stuck to something. He was proud he was taking care of himself.

 _This_ was the Ian he knew, not the coward that left him at the border.

Ian smiled, wide and bright from hearing him saying those words.

“I’m proud of you, too” Ian admitted, bumping his elbow into his arm.

“Why?” Mickey seemed confused

“Good job, good house and stuff. You’ve done well” he grinned

“Well, thanks” Mickey laughed awkwardly “You okay with André now?”

“eh” Ian shrugged as if he couldn’t complain “He’s pretty cool”

Mickey laughed “not really, but at least it’s stable—” his eyes widened as Ian suddenly looked uneased “That’s not what I mean, I just mean—fuck”

“Don’t worry” Ian laughed slightly “I understand”

Mickey half-smiled and breathed deeply as he sat up properly

“I do miss you, though. Fuck, I can’t deny that”

The confession made Ian smile, but he didn’t want it to be a big deal, because he understood what Mickey meant.

He knew this shit takes time.

What Ian really wanted to ask was how a drug lord knew him and his location, but he thought that could wait for another night.

The two of them filled the awkward silence with a swig of their beers.

Ian decided to mention something that was probably irrelevant but said it anyway.

“Mandy and Lip are dating”

Mickey scoffed as if he didn’t believe it “should’ve seen that one coming”

“Yeah” he agreed, continuing “She misses you, you know” Ian let Mickey know with a smile.

“Really?” Mickey raised his brows as if that shocked him

“Well, she doesn’t admit it of course but yeah—she does”

Mickey smiled, looking down from Ian’s eyes

“How’s she doing? Last I heard she was fucking dudes for money”

“She’s not doing that anymore. Well, not as much as she used to”

“Good” Mickey breathed a sigh of relief, slouching back down onto the couch.

Ian began to boast about his best friend “she has a nice apartment, a nice car, has a huge ginger cat named Jasper and got into a business course”

“Woah” Mickey seemed impressed “for a hood girl she’s doing well”

“Yeah” Ian smiled proudly, gulping down his beer

Mickey just stared at Ian, hesitating, but it was a question he had on his mind for a while.

“How’s Yevgeny?”

Ian froze, surprised by the sudden interest. He slowly pulled the beer bottle away from his lips and swallowed.

“He’s good” he began and Mickey’s eyes lit up as he spoke “He’s got blonde hair growing to his shoulders, Svetlana is going to probably get it cut soon. He talks a fair bit, and knows how to count to five. I don’t get to see him a lot but yeah, he’s a great kid”

Mickey let his smile shine “kind of miss that lil’ shit”

“Of course you do, you’re the father” Ian chuckled softly “no matter how much you hate him, you can’t help but love him”

“Yeah” Mickey sighed “If he wasn’t born for the wrong reasons I would be fine…but I just—”

“Hey, it’s okay” Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s knee, making Mickey’s heart beat differently.

Why couldn’t he just let Ian go?

The two met eye-to-eye and it felt so unreal, as if every wall was almost broken down.

Something in Mickey wanted to lean in and kiss him. Maybe it was just from the nightmare he had last night, but this time he has spent with Ian just _talking_ was better than anything else he had ever experienced here in Mexico.

Their connection was something that clearly would never die.

Ian felt it too, of course. But knew he couldn’t, but if he did, he knew that would make things a lot more… _Fun_

Mickey almost considered just saying _fuck it_ but the front door opened and Mickey instantly flicked Ian’s hand off instead, snapping out of his lustful stance.

It was crazy how no matter what the intensity just stayed so alive.

Maybe Mickey would have to tell Ian to stay at a hotel, and not for pissing him off. Just so it’d stop him from making a stupid mistake.

Ian sat there, stunned by it all.

He wasn’t really sure what he was doing anymore.

 

André came walking into the room, throwing his keys on the kitchen counter.

“Hey guys” he sighed, walking over and collapsing into the armchair

“What’s up with you?” Mickey wondered, passing him his warm beer.

André swigged at it, screwing up his face as he swallowed.

“just a long day. Manager stuff” he waved it off as if it were nothing

Mickey hummed, taking the beer back to take a sip.

Ian just sat there, holding his knees to his chest now as he started thinking about his purpose here.

Despite the moment he just shared with Mickey, Ian was starting to doubt this entire trip.

Mickey was happy here, he would never want to come home, even with Ian’s plan to get him out of this sticky fugitive mess.

“Here’s a wild fucking idea” Mickey piped up, snapping Ian out of his daze.

“What?” Ian asked, brooding

“You should come work at the bar” He smiled as if it were the best idea he ever had

“What!?” André and Ian both questioned as if Mickey was delusional.

“What?” Mickey suddenly became defensive “We don’t know how long you’re staying for and fuck, at least by working you get out of the house. Even better, you’ll get some fucking cash in your pocket”

Ian chewed on the inside of his cheek, hesitating “Mick, I-I don’t know”

“Come on” he huffed “they pay cash in hand”

“Sorry, Amor, I thought I was one of the managers, not you?” André spoke up now

“Well then, what do you say?” Mickey asked “He’s strapped for cash. He’ll need something to leave here with”

Ian felt guilty at Mickey’s efforts, because the truth of it all is that Ian does have money.

What was strange to Ian was how Mickey was acting as if he really wanted Ian to stay.

Maybe there was a purpose for being here, after all.

André sighed loudly “fine, ask mi mamá o papa tomorrow. I’m done with work for today”

“Cool, thanks” Mickey grinned, looking at Ian who was still bewildered by that entire conversation.

“You alright?” Mickey asked with a laugh, Ian hesitated, unable to find words.

“Shit” Ian muttered “Y-Yeah I’m good, thanks” he smiled

Mickey smiled back and got up, grabbing all the empty beer bottles to take to the trash.

“I’ll order take-out”

“Sounds good!” André spoke, more lively now that food was brought into the equation.

Ian didn’t even realize how much time had passed since he got home, or how hungry his stomach really was.

Shit, he was in far too deep to ever let Mickey go. Tonight just proved that.

André stared at Ian for a good ten seconds before Ian even noticed.

_Sorry, too busy thinking about what it’d be like to kiss your boyfriend again_

Ian shifted his eyes, wondering what his problem was.

“What?”

“Are you sunburnt?” André questioned, a slight smirk lifting from his lips

Ian breathed deeply, completely forgetting his skin was pink and hot to the touch.

“Yeah…”

“Ha Ha!” André snickered, tongue-in-cheek

Ian just rolled his eyes, looking at the TV where nothing made sense to him.

“Sucker!”


	12. Chapter 12

“Ian, you ready or what!?” Mickey called from downstairs

Ian looked at himself in the mirror, breathing in and out slowly to calm himself.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous for a job interview in a bar that reminded Ian so much of The Alibi Room back at home. The place wasn’t classy, so why was Ian wearing a well fitted button-up and fancy pants?

Maybe he should change into jeans?

Ian rushed over to the chest of drawers he had moved all his clothes into, pulling out his jeans as he shimmied down his business pants.

There was no reason to be nervous, maybe it was just the thought of working in a bar with Mickey and being surrounded by people who speak a language he doesn’t understand that well.

Yeah, that might be it.

“Hey, Yo! You ready yet?” Mickey called out again, approaching the door.

“Ah, j-just a sec” Ian panicked, quickly putting the jeans on.

Mickey pushed the door open, suddenly taken aback by Ian’s agitated state.

“You alright there?”

“Shit!” Ian exclaimed, surprised by Mickey “Yeah, be down soon”

Ian did up the jeans and tucked in the shirt, Mickey didn’t move.

Honestly, Ian could’ve sworn Mickey was checking him out. That could just be his imagination talking, though.

“You sure you’re okay?” Mickey questioned, watching Ian walk over to the mirror again.

“Yeah, why?” he wondered, picking at stray hairs and any flaws he noticed.

“Because you look fucking on edge or something” Mickey huffed, walking towards Ian “It’s okay, Rosa and Vince are good people, here”

Mickey pulled Ian to face him, undoing a couple of the buttons that were done up to Ian’s neck.

“Why are you trying to suffocate yourself? It’s a casual place. Dress how I dress and you’ll be fine”

“I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Ian sighed “I just want to make a good impression”

Mickey almost laughed “You threw up in Rosa’s bin. I’m sure you’ve impressed them enough”

Ian gave a derisive grin and Mickey just gave one back in return.

“Come on, we’ll be fucking late if you take any longer, rojo!” He turned away, making his way for the door.

Ian grabbed his phone and wallet, running after Mickey

“That’s another thing; what the fuck is a ro-ho?” Ian questioned

Mickey snickered to himself “It’s red in Spanish, dumbass”

“Right” Ian nodded, as if he should’ve known that.

 

They got into Chevrolet Ian had driven the other day and quickly got on the road to head towards work.

Mickey steered with one hand, laid back whilst Ian went over how he would introduce himself to his new possible co-workers.

“There’s no way they’d turn you down” Mickey assured Ian, but he wasn’t convinced.

“They might not want anyone working for them, especially someone that can’t speak the language” Ian responded negatively, making Mickey roll his eyes.

“They hired me didn’t they?”

Ian huffed “yeah, but you were fucking their son”

Mickey ignored that

“Trust me, man. You’re a friend of mine and André’s. Rosa loves you, you’ll be fine. Stop stressing before I punch you in the dick”

Ian had to say the joke that entered his mind

“Well at least my dick will get some action for the first time in months”

Mickey just had to let out a laugh “asshole”

 

Mickey pulled into the staff parking lot behind the bar and found a spot. The two got out of the car, Ian hesitantly pacing behind Mickey.

“Ian, _trust me_ ” Mickey spoke, pleading “you’re good”

“I know, I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Ian replied, clearly on edge, rolling up his sleeves.

“Probably anxiety from not leaving the house in three weeks” Mickey laughed a bit, mostly to himself.

“Yeah” Ian gave a tight smile “That must be it”

Mickey put in the code to enter the back of Cabeza Podrida, pushing the door open. He walked in prideful, waving Ian to follow him.

Ian did exactly so, already being able to hear chatter from the front of the bar.

The back room was somewhat small. It was dark, dusty and held a lot of stock. Boxes and boxes of hard liquor just sitting there.

“I’ll see who’s here” Mickey let Ian know, walking through the door to the front of the bar, leaving Ian standing there. Worrying about something that hadn’t ever mattered to him before.

Ian was usually good when it came to getting jobs. He used to be so confident and knew how to present himself, but after his diagnosis there was nothing harder than finding a job and finding an employer who was okay with someone like Ian.

He just had to remind himself that this job would be a casual thing—no commitments. Similar to André and Mickey’s relationship.

Ian had to smirk a little at that thought.

It only took less than a minute for Mickey to come back, telling Ian to come follow him to meet Vince. André’s dad.

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, that panic building because he had to meet someone he hadn’t met previously. At least with Rosa she was really sweet, but something in Ian told him Vince would be _very_ different.

He walked through the door, embracing the loud crowd of people laughing and talking. Mickey led him through to a booth where an older man sat.

There was something familiar about him, as if he knew him from somewhere, or knew one of his cousins. Vince looked at Ian in return with the same look, his eyes brooding intensely.

Ian tried to shake off the strange vibe and smiled kindly at the old, round man.

He looked a lot like André, just older, wiser. Grumpier.

“Vinnie!” Mickey grinned “This is my friend, Ian”

“Hello Señor” Ian greeted politely

“Hello” he nodded, accent thick “How are you? Don’t mind the paperwork. I’m just doing some work in the uh—stocks!” he smiled, putting the pen he was holding down.

“Oh that’s okay. I’m good, thanks” Ian smiled

“So, do you reckon you can get him a job?” Mickey asked straight up “just casual work, nothing messy. Cash in hand”

“Like you?” he raised his brow

“ _Exactly_ like me”

The man rubbed his greying moustache, smacking his lips together

“Does he really want the job or do you just want a gringo to hang out with?”

Ian used his Gallagher work ethic to speak up

“O-Oh I want the job—”

“Why would that matter anyway?” Mickey interrupted “look, he’s the hardest worker I know. Back home he’s an EMT”

“An official guy, huh?” the old man smirked, looking Ian dead in the eye “this must be a downgrade from that job”

“Not at all!” Ian assured him “I would like a job that isn’t so stressful while I’m away”

Vince just nodded “You got any experience behind the bar?”

“Oh yeah, plenty. I worked in a bar for almost two years”

Vince seemed impressed, a bit more lenient than when they first met.

“Anyone can pour a fucking drink” Mickey scoffed in response “so what do you say?”

Ian rolled his eyes at Mickey’s attitude whilst Vince picked up his pen, writing something down that was clearly important.

“I’ll work him into the schedule, show him the bar” he told Mickey, going back to his paperwork, pretty much telling them to _‘fuck off’_

“Thank you so much” Ian showed gratitude with a soft smile

“Come on” Mickey grabbed Ian’s bicep, pulling him towards the bar.

“Jesus” Ian muttered under his breath “I forgot how blunt you can be”

Mickey walked him to behind the bar, turning to him with a smirk.

“Still miss me?”

“Of course” Ian told him honestly, despite how flustered he became “but I could’ve handled that interview, Mick”

“Oh please, you were shaking like a little bitch. Besides, I got you the job didn’t I?”

“Yes—”

“Then shut up” he told him simply, moving on to what he should be doing “I’ll show you around”

 

Ian wasn’t really sure he would be able to cope working behind a bar again, especially when he was being taught things about it from Mickey, but so far, it was good.

He served a few people and Mickey introduced him to the regulars and those who also worked at Cabeza Podrida.

It was a fairly friendly environment, the music that played at a perfect volume kept some sort of liveliness within Ian.

He felt like the new kid at school but was happy, even throughout his and Mickey’s little arguments over nothing--which were quickly switched to laughter when they realized they took things too seriously.

Mickey and Ian enjoyed working together. It felt like they were just 16 working at the Kash’n’Grab all over again. It was nice, and Mickey felt comforted knowing he was working with someone who really understood him.

The pay was what would be considered below minimum wage in America, but it was good enough, and the tips Ian received were fairly generous. The locals seemed to like him, which actually surprised him.

 

When Mickey and Ian got out of work, the sun was pretty much set and the both of them felt tired. They just wanted to get home and eat a good meal.

The ride home was a lot more relaxing than the ride to work. It was far more quiet, too.

Until Mickey spoke up.

“What did you think of your first day?” Mickey wondered, Ian shrugged

“Pretty good, better than expected”

Mickey smiled now “see, what’d I tell you? I told you everything would work out just fine”

“Yeah, I know” Ian admitted “I just freak out sometimes”

“Yeah, I know” Mickey repeated in the same tone of voice

Ian shook his head, smirking at Mickey who looked at him with a laugh. The two smiled at each other, that sparkle in both of their eyes.

Something inside of Ian was fluttering. It was a sensation he hadn’t felt so strongly in a very long time, but it was honestly aching him.

Mickey broke eye contact by focusing back on the road and Ian released a heavy breath that he must’ve been holding.

He had a hard time reading Mickey, as he usually did. It was like Mickey wanted _something_ from Ian but just kept pulling away. Ian found it better to pretend there was no connection there.

Ian honestly didn’t get why something _couldn’t_ happen.

André goes around fucking all these dudes and acting like he’s in love with them, why couldn’t Ian and Mickey have a relationship on the side?

It’s supposed to be open, right? So why couldn’t it happen?

Or was André just that possessive over Mickey where he just wouldn’t allow it, whilst he finds no guilt in everything he gets up to behind Mickey’s back?

Who really knows, but it was something that rattled in Ian’s brain.

Mickey deserved better, and Ian wanted to prove that to him.

 

Mickey went to bed somewhat early that night, deciding not to wait for André who texted earlier saying he’d be home late.

It didn’t worry him, Mickey liked to use ignorance when it came to his relationship with André. It was the only way he could cope.

It was kind of funny, really. Mickey had no idea where this tolerance had come from, because he had no tolerance towards this shit when it came to Ian, and he was pretty sure he still didn’t.

The thought of another person getting it on with Ian made Mickey feel like he got punched in the gut, but there was nothing he could do to stop it if it were to happen.

He had no idea how Ian could stand seeing how André was with him. Just the thought alone was keeping Mickey up at night.

 

Mickey tossed and turned beneath his soft sheets for over an hour, eventually kicking them off from heat and frustration.

He was developing a headache because ever since their talk and spending the day together, he just hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Ian.

Thinking about the memories they had shared, how his red hair drove him wild. Those almond shaped eyes, dark yet soft, cutting through every tough nerve.

Just remembering the intensity of their chemistry was driving him crazy.

The thoughts were digging up emotions, erupting them through his veins. It was like an addict who shot up after going without for so long.

You never realized just how much you missed it until it’s rushing through you once again.

Mickey had to let him go. He had to let Ian learn to let him go, even if the truth of it all was that he never wanted to let him go.

He felt like he was suffocating from the inside out. It just wasn’t possible. Mickey had no intention of turning back, because he knew if he went too far with this it would be impossible for him to move on again.

Mickey groaned with frustration, wishing it wasn’t this complicated.

Maybe he did still love Ian the way he used to, but he wouldn’t allow himself to admit that.

He sat up and turned his lamp on, getting out of the bed and walking across the wood floors to the master bathroom to grab himself some ibuprofen.

Turning on the tap, Mickey swallowed them down with a handful of water before walking back to his bed.

That was when he heard the bedroom door open, he froze as he watched André enter, smiling the moment his eyes met with Mickey’s.

“What are you doing up?” André questioned curiously as he kicked off his shoes

“Couldn’t sleep” he sighed, pacing for a second before walking over to his boyfriend to give him a quick kiss hello.

“Aw, you waiting up for me?” he grinned, taking his clothes off so he was in nothing but his boxers.

“Fuck off!” Mickey barked as he got back into bed, watching André go to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He couldn’t help but watch him, chewing his lip with what could be considered worry. He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt this way, but maybe he was slowly cracking and everything was going to come spilling out eventually.

Mickey hoped that day would never come.

 

André joined Mickey in bed soon after, giving Mickey a much more loving kiss as he settled between the sheets.

He stroked Mickey’s cheek as he pulled away, his dark eyes looking into Mickey’s as if he were his entire world. That look always overwhelmed Mickey with an emotion he wished he could shake.

Doubt.

“How’d it go with Ian?” he asked, laying down and propping up on his elbow.

“Good” Mickey smiled, sinking himself down to lie next to him “he liked it”

“That’s great!” André said with enthusiasm.

Mickey’s smile sunk, picking at the dirt under his fingernails.

“What?” André suddenly furrowed with concern

“Where were you tonight?” Mickey asked, knowing he would probably regret it.

“Don’t worry, work stuff” he promised “I thought you were alright with that?”

“Y-Yeah, I am” Mickey responded, shaking his head with a sigh “I’m just tired”

André leaned over Mickey, pressing a light kiss to his forehead before looking down at him.

“I love you”

Mickey smiled slightly, trying to not let his thoughts get the best of him.

_Come on, Mick._

“I love you, too”

They kissed, soft and slow before André pulled away, sliding his finger softly along his bottom lip.

“I forgot to tell you, but I have to go away this weekend” he told Mickey with a hint of hesitation

“What?” Mickey suddenly felt more awake, alarmed “what the fuck for?”

“Just. Work stuff” André sighed, aggravated. As if he would tell Mickey but didn’t want to.

Mickey tried not to get annoyed by how André’s life seemed to revolve around ‘ _Work Stuff’_ yet hardly saw him around the bar.

If he was just fucking someone then why couldn’t he just say that?

“Okay” was the only thing he could say that wouldn’t cause an argument.

“I’m so sorry, amor” André whispered with sincerity “I’ll take you on a date when I get back on Monday, how about that?”

Mickey just nodded, slightly inconsolable. What else could he say?

André pursed his perfect thick lips and turned the lamps off, the only thing lighting up the room was the moonlight shining through the curtain.

He laid on his side of the bed and felt around for Mickey’s arm, Mickey sighed and moved closer to him, resting his head on André’s chest, his fingers tracing soft, thoughtful circles on his smooth tan skin as André held him close.

“Te amo” André whispered, sensing Mickey’s vibe.

Mickey didn’t feel capable of saying it back with the state his mind was in. Instead he planted a soft kiss on his chest before snuggling back in, closing his eyes.

“Goodnight”

André breathed deeply, most likely from disappointment. Mickey could hear the thud of his heartbeat beneath his chest and it was at that moment Mickey had realized that maybe André too, has his doubts.

Mickey opened his eyes, staring at whatever the moonlight allowed him to see. He rose and sunk with each breath André took, thinking about nothing, yet everything at once.

There wasn’t a problem with André leaving, he was okay with that and it wouldn’t be the first time it happened.

What kept Mickey’s eyes wide open was that this meant an entire weekend alone with Ian.

If the walls guarding Mickey kept crumbling down, he wasn’t sure he would hold back, or if Ian would be able to, either.

That was always the problem with Ian and Mickey, they couldn’t help but be drawn to each other, and Mickey wasn’t sure if he was willing to fight it off anymore.

Whatever happens, happens…and most likely, for a reason.

 

When Ian found out about André leaving for the weekend, he thought nothing of it at first, then grew nervous at the thought of him and Mickey alone together for that long amount of time.

There would be no boundaries, nothing stopping them.

Ian wasn’t going to make any moves. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, not when he knows it must be 10 times harder for Mickey to handle.

It took Mickey weeks to open up to Ian, it was most likely going to be months before he decided to make a decision like that.

Ian could understand though, and he was patient (he had already gone a year without him.) He knew it would be hard for the both of them to draw a line at sex and nothing more after the development they had shared growing into the amazing couple they became.

To go backwards just seemed wrong.

 

* * *

 

_ Friday Night _

André came running down the staircase with his duffle bag filled to the brink with stuff to take away with him, the taxi beeped outside whilst Mickey, Ian and Chico waited at the bottom to say their goodbyes.

Ian just stood back, letting Mickey share this moment with his boyfriend.  

“Chao lindo” he exhaled, approaching Mickey first.

Mickey smiled and cupped his face, embracing him with a meaningful kiss.

Ian looked down awkwardly, knowing it was better not to watch.

“Cuídate, okay?” André whispered to Mickey

Mickey just nodded, their eyes locked to each other

“of course”

Ian couldn’t help but notice how clean André was looking as he patted Chico goodbye. His hair was gelled back, his stubble shaved away; he was well dressed and wore cologne you could smell from a mile away.

He looked good, and Ian realized this trip most likely wasn’t a work thing. He felt horrible for Mickey.

No matter how many times Mickey tried to convince him he was okay with the relationship status, Ian just knew it had to hurt.

“Where are you going anyway?” Ian questioned protectively, André was thrown back by the sudden interest.

“Why do you want do know?” he questioned in return, approaching him intimidatingly.

Mickey watched cautiously, uncertain as to why Ian would care.

Ian shrugged, standing his ground “no reason. Just curious”

André licked his lips as he smirked, thinking this had to be a joke.

“Mexico”

Ian shifted his eyes “But we’re in Mexico?”

“Oh my god” Mickey interrupted “he means the fucking city you dumbass”

Ian became suddenly flustered with embarrassment.

“O-Oh right. Forgot about that”

André rolled his eyes and went to walk towards the door, Ian stopping him

“And why are you going?”

André turned back around “Are you fucking kidd—”

“Alright Lois Lane that’s enough!” Mickey told Ian off.

Ian just huffed, smirking from the adrenaline he was getting from setting off the ever-so-happy André.

Mickey pulled André by the arm to the door to prevent a fight, opening the large wooden door.

“I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”

“Okay” he smiled, kissing Mickey’s cheek before looking at Ian with a glaring look “no te metas en problemas”

“I don’t know what that means” Ian brushed off carelessly

“Pendejo” he muttered as he walked out, turning back to Mickey “Te amo, darling”

“Te amo” Mickey smiled in return, André blowing a kiss as he enthusiastically made his way to the taxi that beeped a couple more times.

Mickey closed the door, his smile turning into an annoyed frown as he looked over at Ian who acted as innocent as innocent can be.

“What?”

Mickey just ignored him, walking down the hallway to the kitchen, Ian followed closely behind.

“What’d I do now?”

“Why are you asking stupid _fucking_ questions?” Mickey wondered

“I didn’t know there was something wrong with wanting to know where he was going?”

“It’s none of your fucking business!” Mickey snapped before grabbing a beer out of the fridge

Ian scoffed, dumbfounded “I only asked because he doesn’t tell you shit!”

“Well thanks, but I don’t need your fucking help”

“I’m sorry, didn’t know caring about my _friends’_ wellbeing was a crime, alright?”

 “ _Friend_ , huh?” Mickey turned to him, brows raised.

“Isn’t that what we are?” Ian replied, grabbing the beer from Mickey’s hand.

Mickey watched Ian's hands unscrew the cap and took a deep breath, grabbing another from the fridge, unscrewing his own cap.

Ian sighed “Mick—”

He just shoved passed Ian, glugging down his beer as he went to sit on the couch.

Ian bit the inside of his cheek, not knowing what he could say that could fix it.

Honesty was his best bet.

He made his way over to the couch where Mickey sat, towering over him.

“Do you think he’s fucking someone?” Ian asked “Is that why you’re snapping at me?”

Mickey took another deep breath to control himself, answering.

“I don’t know” he told him, rubbing at his temple briefly “Couldn’t sleep last night”

“Oh” Ian blankly responded, sitting next to him.

The two sat there, Mickey switching on the TV as Ian glugged down the beer. It was only a bit awkward, but neither were sure what to say.

Mickey needed a break, pulling out his packet of cigarettes from his pocket.

Ian stared, wide eyed as Mickey pulled out something that looked like a cigarette, but definitely _wasn’t_ a cigarette.

“Is that—Is that a blunt?”

Mickey looked at Ian and grinned “André hates the smell of it so I only have it when he’s gone. Want a hit?”

“Fuck yes” Ian laughed, as if that was a stupid question.

Mickey lit it, inhaling a decent drag before passing it to Ian.

“Figure you can keep a secret” Mickey exhaled, pulling an ashtray he had hidden under the couch.

Ian smirked at that idea, taking a drag.

 

The two sat there in cannabis bliss, just relaxing and talking about anything that came to mind that wasn’t a heavy subject.

“—It was amazing man, when André gets back we’ll for sure go and see it” Mickey told Ian, speaking about the local landmark _La Quebrada_

“Sounds good!”

Ian exhaled the smoke in his lungs and felt his phone go off in his pocket.

He pulled it out, passing the blunt back to Mickey as he read the text.

_‘Hey, it’s Debs. Hope you’re having fun! We’re all good at home. Here’s a photo of Franny, she misses her uncle Ian x’_

Ian opened the text and smiled at the red head that looked so similar to how Debbie did at that age.

“Who’s that?” Mickey wondered, looking over Ian’s shoulder.

“Oh, my niece” Ian smiled, shining the phone in Mickey’s direction

“Holy fuck” he laughed “she looks a lot like you”

“Really?” Ian’s voice pitched in disbelief

“Fuck yeah! Little red reminds me of you back in the day, more freckles than actual skin”

“Fuck you” Ian laughed, saving the picture before responding.

“Nah, she’s cute” Mickey smiled, exhaling smoke into the air.

_‘Having a great time! Give everyone a kiss from me (besides Lip. Screw Him) Love you! Uncle Ian misses Franny too x’_

“By the way, Vince put you on for Sunday nights shift with me and Sara, that cool?”

Ian looked at Mickey with a smirk “Yeah that’s fine…Not like I have anything better to do”

“Shut up” Mickey chuckled, passing the last drag to Ian.

Ian inhaled it deeply, enjoying how it made his muscles relax as it burned down to his fingertips.

“I just realized something” Mickey sat up

Ian put out the blunt in the ashtray, exhaling “What?”

“Have I actually shown you the house?”

Ian laughed, even though it wasn’t funny.

“No, actually, you haven’t”

“Shit, we’ve been so busy we didn’t think about it!” Mickey snickered, standing up “Come on”

“Understandable, this place is fucking huge”

Ian stood up, swigging down the last of his beer before placing it back down on the coffee table.

“Gotta love rich Mexicans and their fucking McMansions” Mickey joked, walking towards the hallway to go upstairs.

Ian walked with him, just taking it all in. First, there was a game room, then another guest room, followed by a home office and then a home gym.

It was incredible that this whole time all this was just here for Ian’s disposal and all he had done was sit on his ass and get burnt at the beach.

Mickey led him back downstairs, quickly showing him the average sized living area to the left of the entry that no one used because there was no TV there. But there was a nice fireplace for the really cold nights.

Leading him down the hall, Ian followed Mickey to a double door by the kitchen that Ian thought just went to the backyard or something, but then Mickey opened it, leaving Ian’s mouth gaping at the sight of a theatre room.

“No-fucking-way”

“Yes-fucking-way!” Mickey responded excitedly “I love this room, but André isn’t a big movie fan so we rarely sit in here”

Ian continued to gape at the quality of the room, six black leather recliners facing a huge projector with the interior design looking just like an actual theatre. It was incredible.

“Are we allowed to eat in here?” Ian wondered, stepping down onto the wood floor

“Yeah, why?”

Ian helped himself up the step to the first row of recliners, taking a seat and loving the comfort, soaking it all in as he pictured what it’d be like to watch movies in this room.

“We should eat dinner in here tomorrow” Ian suggested and Mickey definitely approved.

“Sounds fucking good to me! We’ll just get Asian or something”

“Stop” Ian groaned “You’re going to make me hungry”

Mickey laughed loudly, stepping down into the room “We literally ate a fuckton for his farewell dinner”

“Sh!” Ian told him “I’m a growing boy, alright”

“Sure you are” Mickey almost snorted, pulling open another door by the projector that Ian swore was a closet.

“The fuck!?” Ian jumped up, running over to Mickey as he turned the lights on, revealing a large dining room with its own bar and buffet table.

“Is this meant to be Narnia or something?” Ian chuckled as he and Mickey stepped inside

“Nah, just the dining room we never use unless it’s a _real_ special occasion like Christmas—but we usually go to Rosa and Vince’s for that shit anyway”

“Right” Ian nodded, nodding the double doors by the right side of the wall “So where does that door go?”

“Just back to the entry hall” he told him

“Jesus” Ian said in shock by how big this place was “André must be _really_ loaded”

“not really”

Ian looked at Mickey as if that had to be joke

“I mean he is, but it’s not really his house. He didn’t pay for it” Mickey explained, leading him back into the theatre, turning the lights off behind him.

“Then who’s is it?” Ian had to ask

“His great uncle’s, apparently inherited it”

“No way!” Ian retorted in disbelief.

Mickey shrugged, walking back to the kitchen where Ian followed.

“Apparently he had no kids and was rich as balls” he continued to explain, pulling two beers out of the fridge.

Ian grabbed one off him and hummed, impressed that a family that owned a small shitty bar (which was somehow turning into a franchise) made this much money.

Chico got off the couch, pitter-pattering his way to the back door where he scratched at it, whimpering.

“What?” Mickey asked him “do you need to poop?”

Chico continued to whimper.

“Fuck sake—” Mickey sighed and put his beer down “I’m coming!”

Ian just watched him, unable to move the smile that lit up his face whenever Mickey was just so… _Mickey_

“You coming, Gallagher?” Mickey turned and asked as he slid the door open

“Nah” Ian waved him off “I’m going to go sit on those recliners”

Mickey smiled wide, a laugh erupting from his chest

“Sure, knock yourself out”

* * *

 

_ Saturday Night _

Ian received a text from Mickey saying he was on the way home with food and Ian was pretty excited.

Mickey gave Ian his number last night, explaining that he changes his number every few weeks and even changes the phone every now and again to keep the Feds off his back. So far, it worked.

He sat on the floor of the theatre, a beer and cigarette in one hand as he went through their collection of movies. Turns out André likes to illegally download a lot of movies that weren’t on DVD yet and put them on discs, but who didn’t love a ripped off movie every now and again?

As for the smoking, André hated smoking inside, but that’s all Ian and Mickey did whilst he wasn’t here.

Who cares? They’d easily get rid of the Tobacco smell with some deodorizing spray before he got back.

Ian had about five movies picked out and wasn’t sure if he could be bothered looking through any more.

The time they were spending together without André was actually quite fun, very little arguments ensued and they actually enjoyed each other’s presence. More than they already did.

As for the flirty moments or moments filled with chemistry, there were plenty but they never went any further. Ian was okay with that, it kept his nerves of anticipation away.

If they got out of this weekend still platonic, then Ian would know for sure where Mickey stands on the whole thing.

 

Mickey came in the door with two plastic bags full of Asian take-away, the brightest smile on his face he couldn’t remove.

“Honey I’m home!” He called out, followed by a cheeky laugh

He was happy, he had a good day at work, things at home were good and oddly enough, he hardly missed his boyfriend that was in another state probably fucking some dudes’ blue balls off.

He wasn’t bothered one bit, and was more than happy to see his favorite dog come clamoring down the hall towards him.

“Hey buddy!” Mickey greeted the excited dog “I’ll pat you in a sec my hands are full—Ian!”

“Sorry!” Ian yelled out, running down the hall after the dog “I swear that room is sound proof”

“That’s because it is” Mickey smirked “here, set it out” he told him, passing the bags of food.

“Awesome” Ian grinned, taking it to the kitchen whilst Mickey crouched down, saying hello to Chico.

 

Out of the movies Ian picked, Mickey picked _xXx 3: Return of Xander Cage_ …Of course, the only movie Ian didn’t pick out.

“It’s a good movie, just let me remove the Spanish subtitles” he muttered, going to put it on

“Never said it wasn’t! Even though it came out almost a year ago” Ian replied

“Hey! It’s better than that rip-off shit. They’re almost always in Spanish and the recording is always wobbly and you can hardly fucking hear it”

“Again, I’m not complaining” Ian laughed as he sat back in his recliner, controlling the seat so he would be lying back with his food.

He was ready to devour the entire plate; he didn’t notice how hungry he really was.

“Alright…” Mickey mumbled sitting next to Ian on the next recliner, grabbing his plate of food as he pressed play.

 

They enjoyed the movie and the good food they ate. Ian could just tell that neither of them would cook a decent meal over the course of the weekend.  He didn’t mind, he was enjoying having the same shitty takeaway food in a different country.

It honestly felt like they were teenagers again, they both felt so youthful and fulfilled, sharing a happy moment together after years of pain.

Once the movie was over and it went back to the menu page, they continued to just laze around and sit there, picking at the leftovers they were unable to finish earlier and just talk about things that mattered to nobody but them.

“I missed this” Mickey willingly admitted quite casually, chewing on bits and pieces of the leftovers.

Ian hid his smile behind his can of root beer, taking a sip.

“I did too” Ian agreed, looking at Mickey

Mickey held his stare and bit his bottom lip to stop himself from saying anything else.

Anything like; _I missed you, too._

Ian just smirked, breaking the eye contact to look at Chico who came over, sitting down in front of the two men with that sparkle in his puppy dog eyes.

“What do you want?” Ian asked in his sweet-talking voice, patting his head gently.

Chico scratched at Mickey who was already pulling apart some chicken for him.

“Alright! Here you go, fatty” Mickey said as he placed the meat into Chico’s mouth.

“You know he’s just going to ask for more, right?” Ian snickered.

“Yeah I know” Mickey sighed, giving him another piece “now fuck off!”

Mickey sucked the flavor left on his finger and thumb, the dog still standing there.

Ian had to laugh before the whole house shook from a loud bang that came from outside, Chico instantly reacting by barking loudly.

“What the fuck was that!?” Mickey sat up, alarmed

“I don’t know but it definitely wasn’t a car backfire” Ian responded, trying to listen out for any other noise.

That was when another bang shook right through them, followed by a few more.

Chico barked, running towards the curtains at the back of the room. Ian and Mickey jumped up, following him.

Mickey pulled open the dark curtain, Ian just watched how bright blues and greens lit up his face.

“Someone’s lighting fucking fireworks at the beach” he informed with a heavy breath

“Jesus” Ian muttered, relieved it wasn’t anything too dangerous “Was that how loud they were at New Year’s?”

“Nah” Mickey shook his head, closing the blind “I think a few were either faulty or they deliberately wanted the _bang_ ”

Just as he said that, another shot into the sky and Ian patted Chico to keep him calm.

Mickey looked at Ian and his dog, feeling a smile creep onto his face at the image.

“Hey, let’s go upstairs and watch them from my balcony” Mickey suggested “You like taking photos of dumb shit, right?”

Ian chuckled, looking away from Chico just to catch the smile on Mickey’s face.

“Yeah, I guess so”

“Come on then” he nodded towards the door “You wouldn’t believe how good the view is from there”

 

Ian followed Mickey up the stairs whilst Chico stayed downstairs, distracted by one of his chew toys which helped him cope with the loud noise.

Mickey led him into his room, closing the door behind them before jogging to the doors on the right side of the room, pulling them open.

The two of them walked onto that balcony and Ian couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked.

Bright colors of greens, blues, golds, reds, purples and more just circled and exploded in beautiful patterns across the dark sky. The view of the ocean was impeccable too, the dark waves washing onto the shore.

“Holy shit” Ian whispered to himself, pulling out his phone as Mickey lit a cigarette.

“What’d I tell you?” Mickey mumbled as he exhaled, leaning against the railing

Ian got more than a few pictures and even sneaked a couple of Mickey looking out to the open air, his mind clearly deep in thought.

He looked stunning, Ian just couldn’t help but capture the moment.

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and joined Mickey, leaning on the painted black metal railing. Everything about this felt beautiful, the crisp cool air from the water sweeping right through them.

“It’s incredible” Ian breathed, looking out to it.

“Yeah” Mickey agreed, passing over the cigarette, trying to peel his eyes away from the redhead who looked like a happy child who was seeing Santa Claus for the first time.

Ian took the cigarette, taking a drag or two as he just watched, the two of them enjoying a peaceful moment.

Mickey grabbed the cigarette back and indulged in one of his favorite vices.

“How’s life back home for you now?” Mickey asked to start some sort of conversation.

Ian looked at Mickey, shocked by his sudden curiosity.

“Slow, mostly” he told him, picking at the chipping paint on the railing.

Mickey looked down at the cigarette that was burning away in his fingers, unsure how to feel.

Was Mickey nothing but just an adrenaline rush for Ian?

Maybe it was just his mind going crazy from overthinking. 

“Why?” Ian questioned

Mickey tightened his jaw, feeling incapable of answering.

“No reason” he mumbled

Ian sighed, looking directly at Mickey

“Honestly, I didn’t feel like myself” he confessed

Mickey scoffed, smirking bitterly “that’s what you said when you left me”

Ian pursed his lips, “not the same thing, it’s a different feeling than that”

“What do you mean?” Mickey brooded, looking back at him now

“I was numb, and not the medicated type of numb. It felt like something was missing and no amount of distractions or boys could fill—” Ian cut off his sentence “I didn’t feel alive. Not until you showed up again”

Mickey stayed silent

“And then I got scared because of how much I was leaving behind, so I backed out and came home to the same numb feeling which was ten times worse, and then Monica died”

Mickey looked at Ian, noticing the way his eyes glistened and his voice shook. He moved his cigarette to his left hand and placed his right hand over Ian’s to calm him, stopping him from picking at the paint that was getting beneath his fingernails.

Ian looked back at Mickey, feeling his throat tighten as his stomach fluttered.

“I kept wondering about you” Ian admitted, feeling his tears coming to life, “I hardly slept and constantly hoped you were okay, that you were happy” he shook his head, looking down at Mickey’s hand on his.

Ian felt like he was floating and that this word-vomit wasn’t him talking.

“I’m so alone, Mick” he continued to confess, a tear rolling down his cheek “a-and all I wanted to do every day since leaving you, is come back to you”

Mickey kept his eyes fixed on Ian’s, sniffing from how overwhelmed he felt.

“I felt exactly the same” Mickey let him know, tracing circles with his thumb on his hand

“Really?” Ian questioned softly, their eyes unable to move off one another

“Yeah, really” Mickey assured with a sad smile

Mickey moved his hand away to wipe Ian’s tear, stepping closer to the point where there was almost no space between them.

Ian’s breath hitched, not believing Mickey was _this close_ to him. It would only take a small lean forward for them to explode like the fireworks that were burning out.

He admired how gorgeous he looked, from his strong eyebrows, his striking blue eyes and his soft pink lips.

Mickey kept his hand on his cheek, his thumb stroking gently as he felt something in him come alive.

“God, _I missed you_ ” Ian whispered out the thoughts deep in his heart.

Those blue eyes looked directly into Ian’s eyes with an empathetic stare as he nodded as to say ' _I missed you too_ ' before flicking the cigarette that burned down to a nub over the balcony.

Mickey reached up and Ian pulled him right in, the pair colliding their lips together in a hunger for real love.

It was finally happening.

Ian was thriving, his gray days filling with color as he grabbed Mickey by the small of his back to pull him in for even more.

The pair twisted and tasted each other softly, Ian aching at the perfect scent Mickey had that he swore was made just for him.

Mickey exhaled, wanting to pull away but not being able to stop. He couldn’t stop himself from tasting those lonely lips.

He didn’t realize just how badly he had craved Ian Gallagher.

Ian clenched his eyes, pulling away slowly even though he didn’t want to.

“Mick…” he breathed

Mickey caught his breath, their lips still lightly touching.

“What?”

All Ian wanted was to keep going, but didn’t want Mickey to do something he may not actually want.

“Are you sure you want this?” Ian whispered, “things could get really _fucking_ crazy—”

“Stop” Mickey ordered, leaning in for another taste “ _I like crazy…_ ”

Ian didn’t oblige, tasting him gently which made his body ache all over—and in a good way.

“Besides, he fucks everyone” Mickey mumbled against his lips “I should be allowed to have you”

Ian could feel himself tingle all over from Mickey’s thirsty words.

“sounds good to me” Ian mumbled as he pressed another kiss to Mickey’s lips.

Mickey smirked as the sensation electrified him, wrapping his arms around Ian’s neck as their tongues devoured each other. Ian pulled him in hard by the shirt, backing him into the nearest surface.

A loud grunt erupted from Mickey as he hit the doorframe, letting out a moan as Ian pressed his quickly hardening crotch against Mickey’s.

The two were in bliss, Ian starving for each moan Mickey gave just for him.

Ian moved away from his lips, pressing hot kisses along his neck as Mickey started to undo Ian’s pants.

Ian pulled away, lifting Mickey’s T-shirt off as Mickey fumbled to get the jeans off.

Ian was quick to notice the tattoo that sat on Mickey’s chest, covering his name that was once poorly written against his chest.

Mickey paused as he noticed Ian’s realization, worried of his reaction.

Ian thought it was a piece of art, there was on ocean covering his name, a destroyed ship sinking into the waves as an octopus entrapped it, one of his tentacles wrapped around an orange sun in a cloudy sky whilst another nearly wrapped around the moon in a darker, starry sky.

The more you stared, the more details you noticed.

It was beautiful and Ian knew it resembled something more than just a shipwreck.

Ian met with Mickey’s pleading eyes and knew that this just _had_ to be something they both wanted.

Ian suddenly lifted off his own shirt, Mickey smirking with relief as Ian dived in to press kisses over the tattoo and down Mickey’s slightly tanned and toned body.

He undid the button of Mickey’s jeans, pulling down the zipper with his teeth slowly to tease Mickey just that little bit.

“Fuck, get up here” Mickey ordered, looking down at the devious eyes who stared back up at him, just wanting to show him what he was missing.

Ian got up and pulled Mickey up from behind his knees, Mickey jumped up to wrap himself around Ian who slammed their lips together, tumbling into the bedroom onto Mickey’s soft, luxurious bed.

Ian pinned Mickey down so hard he let out a groan. Ian just couldn’t help but put his hand down Mickey’s pants, grabbing a feel of something he had missed for a long, _long_ time.

He couldn’t help but moan at how Mickey’s hard length turned him on.

He gently tugged and Mickey’s head rolled back, slowly bucking his hips in the same motion as Ian.

Ian just watched Mickey’s reaction to his touch and just wanted to give him everything he could.

They were making up for lost time and they were going to savor it all.

“Fuck, Ian…” he moaned softly, closing his eyes.

Mickey didn’t know what it was about Ian, but no one knew how treat him the way he did.

Ian slowly dragged his tongue up Mickey’s neck, whispering in his ear.

“I forgot how beautiful you sound when you say my name like that”

Just that sentence alone would’ve made Mickey come if Ian didn’t take his hand off his dick, but this is where it got _really_ exciting.

 

Ian pulled Mickey’s pants down, his mouth watering at just the thought of tasting him again.

Once the pants and socks were on the floor, He teasingly stroked and pulled on Mickey’s hard length, driving Mickey wild as he pressed soft, wet kisses along his inner thigh.

“I don’t think we have time for all this” Mickey breathed, capturing each amazing second

Ian looked up at him, mischievous as ever.

“We have all night…”

Mickey leaned up on his elbows, giving Ian a lustful, pleading stare.

“J-Just— _Fuck_ ”

Ian caught him by surprise, taking him into his mouth to give him the best prep of his life. He had to make sure Mickey was satisfied. He deserves that.

Ian pulled all the tricks he knew that got Mickey going, using his tongue in ways only old-lovers knew how, like it was a secret code.

When he could feel Mickey tense, he’d drag it out by making sure he went slow and sensual, teasing and pleasing Mickey as much as he would let him.

Mickey usually hated slow, but whatever Ian was doing was driving him wild.

Mickey gripped into the sheets, allowing himself to ease completely into the passion as it filled him with the most out-of-this-world experience that he had missed so dearly. He couldn’t control his grunts, moans and sweet whispers.

Ian couldn't help but be completely hard by this point, Mickey’s reaction to him was filling Ian with what some would call _hubris_.

Mickey could feel parts of him start to shake and knew he had to stop, no matter how fucking good it felt—He wanted the build-up. He wanted the excitement.

He wanted Ian, _closer_.

“Get the f-fuck up here…” Mickey demanded, trying to hold himself together.

Ian pulled away with a grin, catching his breath as he obeyed, moving back up Mickey’s warm body to slam their lips back together.

Their lips merged, sloppily in sync as the passion built, the two unable to stop each other’s hands from roaming one another.

Mickey shoved down Ian’s pants with desperation which Ian was quick to help, ready to reach the goal.

Their tongues touched with so much desire and Mickey pulled Ian further onto the bed, his hand unconsciously grabbing for Ian’s length, pumping as he guided him to the head of the bed.

“Where’s the lube?” Ian muttered as their teeth came close to clashing

“Drawer” was all Mickey could respond with, moving fast kisses down to Ian’s neck whilst he searched for the lubricant.

Ian bit his lip hard to prevent his exhales of pleasure from how Mickey’s hand worked him.

He searched the drawer, pushing the condoms out of the way to grab the lube, putting some on his fingers.

 

Ian moved Mickey’s legs apart, pulling him down into the perfect position, making Mickey chuckle from the ecstasy of the magnetic energy.

He applied the cold lube to Mickey first, a flinch shocking his body which Ian grinned about, warming it up before applying the remainder on his length.

Mickey looped his legs around Ian’s waist, his arms around his neck as they looked into each other’s eyes.

_Love, lust, greed._

All of that was there.

Ian realized this staring into those deep blue hungry eyes.

Mickey nodded as an indication and Ian smiled softly, pressing a loving kiss to his lips as he slowly thrusted inside of the most perfect man to ever live.

Mickey’s eyes clenched shut at the entry as he gasped against Ian’s lips. He missed how Ian felt inside of him.

Ian stayed focused, kissing Mickey’s lips as they panted and moaned together.

 

It didn’t take long for them to start moving together in rhythm to a silent drum, Ian holding Mickey by the hips as he slammed into him, hard and fast.

 _Just like he loves it_.

Mickey gripped onto the head of the bed until his knuckles turned white, letting all sorts of profanities leave his lips as he worked with Ian.

He gripped Ian by the shoulders and wrestled him, rolling Ian onto his back as he began to ride him.

At first, he was slow, pinning Ian’s hands down as he kissed Ian’s chest and shoulder, loving the taste of his skin and the aroma they had created in their raw, sweaty desires.

Ian got a hold of Mickey’s thighs, feeling his soft skin as he reached around for his perfectly round ass, thrusting up in time, catching Mickey by surprise.

“Shit!” He muttered, one of his hands latching onto Ian’s chest as the other grabbed the headboard.

He circled his lips, panting uncontrollably as he moved faster, causing their grunts to unapologetically get louder.

Ian couldn’t believe the sight, basking in the glory that was Mickey Milkovich.

 

The pressure was quickly building. They were both hot, moving together so good, hard and dirty but neither of them wanted to stop.

It was too good, everything about them was just _too good._

Mickey went to grab for his dick but Ian bet him to it, wanting to be the one who made sure he was fulfilled.

He instantly reacted to Ian’s touch, jolting the slightest as he felt himself getting closer to the edge.

"R-Roll me over" Mickey requested breathlessly, and Ian obeyed, rolling over so he was on top.

Mickey's legs were around Ian's waist once again as they continued at this fast pace. Ian didn't stop pumping Mick, either.  

They worked like this for only a minute before that fire blazed through them, Mickey gripping onto Ian’s now damp red hair, almost pleading for life with his moans as he continued to roll his hips in time, feeling his body tense as an orgasm built, ready to shoot right through his body.

Ian fought so hard to hold back, pressing his head against Mickey’s shoulder, whimpering only the slightest.

“Shit, Fuck” Ian panted, trying to ignore the shake in all his muscles as he kept going.

They were both close to the edge, working together like a house in a hurricane.

That was when the thunder and lightning suddenly came crashing down.

Mickey bit his lip hard to prevent the scream as he felt his orgasm take control of his entire body, Ian couldn’t hold it back, pulling out the second Mickey was shaking to let his own orgasm take control.  

The two of them hyperventilated as they came down from the high, Ian resting his forehead upon Mickey’s as they continued to just really take in what was happening.

Mickey closed his eyes as Ian kissed him again, this time it was slow, sweet and painful. An _I love you_ kiss, and Mickey could feel his eyes start to sting from what seemed to be tears.

He wasn’t entirely sure what the tears were for;

Maybe it was because Ian just gave him the best orgasm he had ever had in the past year.

Maybe it was because he really did miss him.

Maybe they were tears of joy.

Maybe it was because the two of them were _crazy in love_ , no matter how hard they tried to fight it.

 

Ian gave one more deep, longing kiss before getting up to get a towel, leaving Mickey laying there staring at the roof. All the thoughts in his mind jumbling together as he tried to figure it all out.

One thing was for sure, and that was that Mickey had to stop this before it became too much for him to handle.

There wasn’t just a relationship at risk here, Mickey’s entire life in Mexico would be at risk, too.

Only question was, would he be willing to risk it?

He wasn’t sure yet, but the sensation that was continuing to pulsate through him let him know he wanted to at least have another taste of Ian Gallagher, even if it was just for the weekend.  


	13. Chapter 13

_ Sunday morning, 7am. _

The sun began to rise outside of the balcony window, wrapping itself angelically around the two lovers tangled around each other in a crumpled white sheet, not caring about the sweat that was still dampening their skin.

They had spent an entire night together, kissing and fucking, with small intervals where they'd share a cigarette before doing it all over again.

"Wow" Ian breathed with a smile, satisfied and perplexed

Mickey chuckled happily, smirking at the Gallagher who was only inches away

"that good, huh?"

"Mickey I haven't had sex in almost a month"

"Serious?" His brows raised, "lucky you"

"Yeah" Ian chucked, "that thing you did with your tongue though--holy fuck"

Mickey's smirk grew fonder, letting Ian's comments fuel his ego.

"What can I say, I've learnt a few new moves"

"Mm" Ian grinned, biting his bottom lip hungrily, "I can't believe how many times…"

"I know" Mickey chortled, "I lost count after four"

Ian huffed, "does André not fuck you enough or something?"

For a moment, Mickey forgot he even had a boyfriend.

“Or something" Mickey mumbled, tracing his fingers up and down Ian's arm that lay lazily across his stomach.

Ian smiled empathetically, propping himself up on one elbow to admire the tattoo that was perfectly laced onto his skin.

"So, when did you get this?" He wondered, tracing the outlines of the sun that exploded with color among his chest.

Mickey smiled gently, "about a week before you showed up" he informed, "wanted something to cover up the ugly mistake I made"

Ian laughed softly, "can't believe you forgot how to spell Gallagher"

"Hey!" Mickey became defensive, "I was fuckin’ delusional in there, alright?"

_You were literally under my skin_

"I get it" Ian shrugged, "I like this a lot better--maybe I should get a tattoo of your name to compensate"

"Ha!" Mickey laughed, "I'd like to see that, tough guy"

Ian smirked at Mickey, adoring those blue, tired eyes.

He laughed, even though he was half-serious.

Mickey let out a yawn before turning onto his side to face Ian and Ian instantly lied back down to meet with Mickey's eyes.

The two just stared into each other's eyes. Both unable to comprehend how real this moment was.

"Did you want to sleep?" Ian wondered a whisper

"No" he muttered, trying to keep his eyes open.

Ian smiled softly, grabbing Mickey’s hands to entwine their fingers, admiring the letters written across his knuckles that were fading from age and damage from the amount of battles they had encountered.

Truth was, Ian didn’t want to sleep either. He just wanted to stay here and immerse himself into this happy moment forever. He didn’t want to open his eyes to find out it was all a dream.

But these hands Ian held; they were real. They were soft, warm and strong, holding onto Ian as if his life depended on it.

This was actually happening, and Ian was hoping so badly it would never be over.

“Did you want to get up and make some breakfast?” Ian asked with a raspy tone in his voice from whispering

Mickey shook his head slightly

“No…”

“Okay”

Ian looked at Mickey who couldn’t tear his eyes off of him, as if he couldn’t believe this, either.

Ian couldn’t help but feel a flutter in his stomach at the sight of him looking back at him like that.

Jesus, he was so in love.

But he knew this wasn’t where things finally got easier, he knew it’d only get that tiny bit harder.

Mickey pulled his hands out of Ian’s grip and just held them, admiring the softly freckled hands as they just lay there, comforted by each other.

His blue eyes darted back up to Ian’s now and he traced that sharp jawline with his fingertips, drawing Ian in.

Ian hitched his breath as he leaned in, his nerves coming to life like an electric shock, as they did every time they kissed.

Their lips touched softly, kissing slow and sensual as they just enjoyed the moment. The feeling of Mickey’s lips on his was something he never wanted to forget.

It wasn’t even a kiss intended to lead into anything else. It was just a kiss. A loving, sense-enhancing kiss that kept them somewhere between reality and a fantasy. Ian’s fingers looped into the raven hair as they continued to do exactly that; kiss.

Not allowing their lips to get cold.

Mickey slowly pulled away, agonizing at the fact he just didn’t want to let go, but knew they had to sleep at some point.

“We have work tomorrow” Mickey whispered, their noses still touching

“Shit” Ian pouted, he’d much rather just stay in bed with Mickey all day.

Mickey smiled slightly, pressing another kiss to his lips.

Ian pulled away and bit his lip, admitting his strange worry.

“I’m scared to wake up and find out this is all a dream”

“Well it isn’t” Mickey chuckled, “I’ll still be here when you wake up”

All Ian wanted to do was say those three words but instead leaned in, the two meeting in a heavier yet longing kiss before Mickey pulled away with a smile.

“Night, Gallagher” he muttered, rolling over to face away from him.

Ian instantly wrapped himself around Mickey, pressing a kiss to his back and sighing into the presence that was Mickey Milkovich.

“Night, Mick”

 

Ian was somehow the first to wake up, listening to the way the seagulls squawked obnoxiously from outside as Mickey slept peacefully next to him.

He felt groggy at first, unable to grasp where he was or what time it was, but then he opened his eyes to the sight of such a graceful looking Mickey. A Mickey without worry, a Mickey that was warm and safe.

It was a wonderful sight. This was _actually_ real, and Ian wasn’t sure if he believed it.

He rubbed at his eyes and carefully sat up, looking at Mickey admiringly, only softly touching his messy hair. Everything he went through in the past couple months suddenly seemed worthwhile.

_He did it_

_He finally got Mickey back…_

Well, sort of.

He tried not to think too far into it for now and decided to slowly creep out of bed to go to his room and check his phone.

When Ian got his boxers on and made it through the door without waking Mickey, a happy Labrador came running up the steps towards him and Ian jumped from shock before realizing the poor puppy had been ignored for most of the night.

“Shit!” he muttered quietly, “you must be hungry”

Despite Ian’s guilty feeling, the dog wagged his tail and was more than happy to see Ian.

Ian sunk down to say hello, apologizing for not giving him more attention.

Dogs really were just too pure for this world.

 

After feeding Chico, Ian tiptoed his way to his own room, opening the door to the clean room with fresh sheets Ian neglected last night for the sake of staying with Mickey.

He snuck over to his bedside table and pulled out his phone to find no messages, but was more shocked at the time that flashed in his face.

_4:31pm_

“ _Shit!_ ” Ian exclaimed, having no idea that he had slept that long.

It honestly gave him a profoundly disappointing feeling, knowing that he had slept away the day he could’ve spent with Mickey.

Now they only had the time before and after work, and whatever time would fill that space until André got home.

It was a lot of time, sure, but it was never enough.

They could still do stuff behind André’s back, but Ian would still have to crawl into a cold, empty bed every night whilst knowing Mickey was in his room being kept warm by someone else.

It was definitely an uneasy feeling to have, but it was the way things would have to be until they really figured this out; if Mickey is willing to figure it out, that is.

Ian brushed his teeth and freshened up quickly before making his way back into Mickey’s room at the other end of the house.

 

He opened the door and couldn’t believe the dream-like sight. It was so white and bright, and Mickey’s dark hair seemed almost vibrant, his tan skin glowed in a way Ian just couldn’t bring his eyes to accept.

Mickey filled Ian’s heart with a happiness he had never experienced with anyone else and now that he was back in his life, it felt like Ian was seeing colors he forgot he had experienced before.

He carefully crawled onto the bed, leaning over Mickey to press a kiss against his hair, taking in his scent before kissing his shoulder.

“Mick…” he whispered softly

Mickey stirred beneath him, groaning slightly.

Ian sighed and sat up, shaking at him just gently, Mickey jolted awake and Ian instantly caught his wrist, pressing a kiss to his hand.

“Good Afternoon” Ian smirked

“Huh?” Mickey mumbled with confusion, finding it hard to open his eyes.

“It’s nearly five” Ian stated

“AM?” Mickey pondered, still sleepy and out-of-touch with reality

Ian had to laugh at that

“No, idiot” he chuckled, “the sun is out. PM”

“Shit” Mickey muttered, sitting up with a low groan as he covered his eyes, “Why am I still tired?”

“Who knows when we fell asleep” Ian sighed, biting his lip

Mickey smiled slightly, pulling his hands away to slowly open them as they adjusted to the light.

“We really fucked”

“Yeah, Mick” Ian laughed, “Yeah, we did. A lot.”

“Jesus, you must’ve been more than just a happy-fucking-camper” Mickey joked, getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom.

Ian rolled his eyes and lay back on the bed, trying to pretend he couldn’t hear him emptying his bladder.

“Over a month, Mickey. Over a month” he reminded him

Mickey flushed and quickly washed his hands before coming back out

“Really that bad?”

He almost forgot how to breathe when he turned to the sight that was Mickey's completely naked body, but he tried to remain nonchalant.

“Over a year since _you_ ” Ian reminded again

Mickey half smiled sadly before putting on a fresh pair of boxers, wishing he could just forget anything that happened between _then_ and _now_

“We should go see what’s to eat” Ian suggested, getting off the bed, “I’m starvin’”

“Yeah” Mickey cleared his throat, turning to Ian whose eyes were so fixated on him.

Mickey tried not to let it affect him to the point a smile would creep onto his face, but it did.

“What?”

Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s hip, leaning in, their lips meeting in a perfect good-morning(afternoon) kiss.

They pulled away and Ian just couldn’t remove his smile as he replied.

“Nothing”

 

Without leftovers, there weren’t many food options. So with what Ian could find, he managed to cook up a decent meal of rice and a couple of steaks. It wasn’t exactly ideal, but it did the job. They had to make sure they were well fed so they could make it through work tonight.

Mickey didn’t complain despite Ian wishing he could’ve cooked up a meal similar to what André or Rosa could make, but that comes with experience and Ian only knew how to cook quick, cheap meals.

Guess that was one thing André was better at than Ian…as well as you know, being rich and hot.

After they ate, Ian put the plates into the dishwasher and looked over at Mickey who was downing the last of his soda before letting out a careless burp, which of course, didn’t gross Ian out one bit.

Ian leaned against the counter, frowning slightly at the thought of serving drinks non-stop for hours.

“Do we _have_ to go to work tonight?” Ian whined

Mickey smirked and got off his seat to put his can in the bin.

“Yeah, can’t call in this fuckin’ late and with the both of us not being there they’ll be screwed”

Ian pouted and moved over to Mickey, wrapping his arms around his waist. Mickey didn’t seem alarmed and walked over to his phone he left on the counter.

“Feels funny being the one who can do this” Ian snickered, swaying Mickey, “usually I just watch _someone else_ do this”

If Ian’s happiness wasn’t already apparent, it definitely was now.

He rested his head on a distracted Mickey’s shoulder, watching as Mickey pressed the home button on his phone to reveal a text message from André waiting for him.

Mickey went to open it but hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to see what it said.

Ian furrowed his brows, “what do you think it says?”

“Dunno” Mickey mumbled, “don’t care”

Ian looked at him, “You don’t?”

Mickey shrugged, putting the phone face-down onto the counter.

“You don’t look like you don’t care” Ian commented casually

“The fucks that supposed to mean?” Mickey turned around to face Ian

“You looked worried” Ian explained, trying not to turn this into a big deal

Mickey licked his lip and huffed, not knowing how to describe how he felt. Instead he turned back to the phone and picked it up, opening the message.

_‘Hola baby, thinking of you. Hope gringo isn’t loco. See you tomorrow. I love you xx’_

Ian looked over his shoulder, his brows raising at the message.

“Loco, huh?” Ian scoffed, wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist again, pulling him against his body as he pressed soft, slow kisses along his neck

“Funny. I hope he knows this _loco_ is satisfies _you_ more than he _ever_ could” Ian’s voice almost came out a snarl, his fingers tracing the curve of Mickey’s torso

Mickey just smirked, not denying that fact. He threw the phone down as he felt Ian’s fingers linger into his boxers, stroking his already half-hard shaft softly.

A soft moan escaped Mickey’s lips as he closed his eyes, Ian was driving him wild from his touch.

“Shit” Mickey breathed, reluctantly pulling the hand from his boxers to turn and face him.

That mischievous grin almost made him give in.

Almost.

“I gotta hit the shower before work” he told him

“ _Come on…_ ” Ian lured, pressing him against the counter, “This will only take a few minutes”

Ian leaned in and gently pressed a teasing kiss to Mickey’s mouth, making his fingers that held onto the counter top twitch just that tiny bit at the sensation.

Mickey sighed into it, allowing them to share a deep tongue kiss that ran through them with a thousand volts.

Ian grasped Mickey’s face by the jaw as they continued to make out this way, Mickey’s hands meeting with Ian’s ass to pull him in so the friction between their boxers could _really_ get him going.

Ian moved his lips to Mickey’s neck and Mickey leaned his head back so he could actually have a moment to catch his breath, Ian’s lips spread kisses all the way to his Adam’s apple and collar bone.

“Shit” he muttered, both in pleasure and in frustration.

Mickey grabbed Ian’s hips to push him off, Ian looked at him as if he was saddened by the sudden rejection.

“I’m serious about that shower” Mickey told him, making his way back towards the stairs, “Can’t afford to be late. Sara’s a bitch”

Ian’s disheartened feeling wore off a little realizing the reality of the situation.

Mickey reached the hallway and turned back to Ian with a grin.

“You comin’?”

Ian furrowed with confusion

“What? You want me to shower with you?” he wondered

“Yeah” Mickey shrugged, “Why not?”

Ian huffed, a slight smirk reaching his face now from excitement.

“Come on” Mickey nodded, “it’s huge and has two shower heads”

Ian just couldn’t oblige, chasing after Mickey like a puppy dog.

 

Showering together wasn’t strange for these two, it felt familiar and really, they didn’t think about it at all.  They had showered together numerous times, whether it was because the shower was running out of hot water or they were washing each other’s wounds.

This was a warm, safe place they forgot they shared, and this time was no different.

It kind of just felt like being a kid again when your parents make you shower together, but it had a different feel at the same time because they were adults—adults who are sexually attracted to each other.

There were two shower heads only a couple feet away from each other and Ian couldn’t help but watch how gorgeous Mickey looked with the water running down his body like that.

Usually they were crammed together trying to keep warm under the water but now they had their own shower heads and could just enjoy the luxury.

In saying that, all it made Ian want to do was finish rinsing out his shampoo so he could get on his knees and worship Mickey.

It certainly gave him an idea, anyway.

“Want me to wash your back?” Ian asked loudly over the steam that was slowly building and the hot water hitting the floor of the shower.

Mickey huffed and turned to him, “you’re givin’ me prison flashbacks”

Ian was thrown aback by that, feeling his face grow hot.

“Jesus”

“It’s a joke, man” Mickey smirked, “As if I would fucking let them anyway”

Mickey bent over to put down the bottle of shampoo and Ian bit his lip, unable to help but admire Mickey’s bare, beautiful ass.

Ian took a step closer as Mickey stood up and pushed him playfully against the wall of the shower.

“Think we can multi-task here?” Ian mumbled playfully

“Fuck” Mickey grunted softly at the sensation of cold tiles on his chest.

He forgot how intense Ian could be, and he fucking loved it.

Ian pressed right up against his body, kissing his back softly with a touch of tongue and Mickey’s eyes rolled back.

“Y-Yeah” Mickey breathed a late response, “Why the fuck not”

Ian grinned, gliding his hands over Mickey’s soft ass-cheeks, grasping agonizingly slow to keep Mickey begging for more.

His finger teasingly brushed against Mickey’s hole, making him shudder before turning around to stop Ian by grabbing his hips, pushing him back through the running water to the glass of the deluxe shower.

“There’s no way we’re fucking in here without lube” He said, despite the fact they were literally crotch-to-crotch

“Alright” Ian breathed, “…let me at least get you off”

Mickey couldn’t turn that offer down.

“Fine” he shrugged, a bold grin growing

Ian shoved him hungrily back against the tiled wall where his lips instantly latched onto Mickey’s bottom lip, the taste of warm water slipping into his mouth.

The two motioned, opening their mouths and slowly letting them shut so they could fit exactly how they were supposed to. As much as shower sex sounded like a bad idea, making out wasn’t so bad.

Mickey grabbed his ex-lover’s jaw, pushing him back a little so they were under the water as they kissed so he could get the cold off his back.

They made out for a while, their tongues twining as they felt each other’s wet body’s all over. Mickey grabbed Ian’s cheeks and Ian sighed before they managed to get water jetting right where their lips met, they both laughed and pulled away.

“Do you think that’s what it’s like to kiss in the rain?” Ian wondered with a chuckle, pushing Mickey’s wet hair away from his face.

“No fuckin’ clue, not really romantic, is it?” Mickey questioned, the two sharing a laugh

“Romantic isn’t _exactly_ what I’m aiming for here”

Mickey smirked playfully

“What are you here for then, huh?”

Ian grinned, shoving Mickey hard against the tile once more to gain a grunt from Mickey, biting into his neck, his hand slowly massaging the tip of Mickey’s length.

Mickey bit his lip and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Ian's lips getting lower and lower down his chest and hips.

“I-I’m going to pay you back for this” Mickey breathed, his fingers looping in Ian’s wet fair.

“You better” he mumbled as he pumped mickey, slowly slithering his kisses to the head of his dick.

His tongue touched just softly and Mickey was instantly in ecstasy.

The way Mickey approved of Ian’s movements was such a turn on for him. They had been fucking for years and he was never over the taste of him.

He took him deep into his mouth, sucking in his cheeks and trailing his tongue all over. He moved his head faster, taking in all he could of Mickey, embracing the way his moans erupted from his chest.

Ian pulled away, pumping as he looked up at Mickey with dark lustful eyes that Mickey tried not to fall in love with every time they got to this point.

Mickey was trying to fight the tremble in his legs and propped one over Ian’s shoulder to a more comfortable position, Ian holding Mickey up by his ass.

Ian’s lips smirked at the need within Mickey’s eyes, kissing and biting teasingly along the inner thigh before his mouth replaced the hand on his length.

He sucked Mickey hard and slow. Mickey bit his lip to hide the excitement in his chest.

His mouth worked faster, Mickey’s body tensed at the sensation, a loud moan escaping him. He didn’t know how Ian did it, but the way he moved made Mickey almost go out of control.

Ian moaned against his length, Mickey’s eyes rolled back, allowing himself to sink completely against the wall, his hands gripping hard into Ian’s hair. He didn’t care how cold the tiles were.

“F-Fuck, I’m close” he breathed.

Ian looked up at him and instantly moved his mouth, pumping Mickey fast.

He would never get over Mickey’s reactions and how good his moans sounded as they echoed throughout the bathroom. It was almost godly.

Mickey couldn’t fight the trembling, pulling him in closer by the hair. His moans quickly grew louder and Ian instantly latched his mouth to the head of his length, sucking and pulsating his tongue.

Mickey’s hands clenched into his hair as he tensed around him.

“I’m—” he gasped, pulling hard on Ian’s hair to hold him there as he moved his body in time.

He cried out loudly, releasing his orgasm loudly and full of pride. He breathed quicker now, relaxing, allowing Ian to pull away completely.

“Wow” he swallowed, looking up at him “I will never get over _that_ ”

“Shut the fuck up” Mickey spoke breathlessly, resting his head against the tile.

Ian stood up, feeling some ache in his knees that he ignored because the orgasm Mickey had made it all worthwhile.

“Guess we should get out?” Ian wondered with a chuckle, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s cheek

“Yeah…” Mickey breathed deeply, speechless.

Ian smirked and turned off the faucets before getting out and wrapping a towel around him.

“Here” he passed one to Mickey.

Mickey took it from his grip and covered his crotch that was still in recovery mode.

“Come on, we can’t afford to be late” Ian chuckled, “We’re on Vince time now”

 

Ian and Mickey strolled into work right on time as the sun was setting. They quickly put their stuff away and made it out to the bar, the rhythmic music getting louder as customers were slowly becoming rowdier from the alcohol.

“Finally!” Sara rejoiced, passing a drink to one of the regular drunks.

“Oh shush Blondie, we’re right on time” Mickey responded with attitude, grabbing the empty glasses from the counter to put in the sink

The box-blonde woman smirked, tightening her ponytail.

“Thought you were going to leave me here all alone with these pendejo’s” She chuckled.

Mickey scoffed, grabbing a dish towel as Ian interjected.

“Don’t worry” he said, “I wouldn’t let him”

“Aw, aren’t you sweet” her accent came out charmingly, “Did you hear what happened to Marc today?”

“No?”

“Got fired” she smirked, her brown eyes lighting up just that little bit

Mickey interrupted, “What the fuck for?”

“got caught stealing from the register while Vince was on duty”

“Holy shit” Ian muttered with disbelief.

“Yep” Sara smirked before turning to a customer who was ready to order.

Mickey turned to Ian with a damp cloth and dishtowel in his hands.

“Okay Ian, as my trainee you get the shit jobs”

Ian’s face fell dull at the thought, “I’m on cleaning duty?”

“uh huh” Mickey beamed, passing them over, “just for an hour”

_An Hour_

Ian groaned but didn’t fight it, taking the items from Mickey.

“This how you repay me?” he smirked playfully, whispering in his ear, “after our shower…”

Ian walked away and Mickey huffed, inhaling the fragrance Ian was trailing with him. He could feel his dick twitch just from remembering how good that orgasm was.

How could he resist him? The past 24 hours had been incredible, but he knew he couldn’t risk it for much longer.

He decided to ignore that thought and tuck it away for when they’re at home and André is only hours away.

 

Happy hour was their busiest time of the night, it was the time of the night where people of all ages came running in for cheap, easy drinks. Time went by pretty quickly too from how busy it kept them.

Ian loved the atmosphere, always staying upbeat and dancing along to the music as he worked. He couldn’t deny the fact he that he liked working here, despite no one knowing English that well.

As well as the fact he would much rather be at home with Mickey.

Mickey stood at the bar and enjoyed watching Ian be happy, it was probably the happiest and most carefree he has ever been since getting to Mexico. He radiated gloriously like a sun and Mickey couldn’t help but adore that.

He was sure he was going to miss Ian more than Ian missed him when this came to an end, he tried not to think about it, but the time they had together was quickly running out. Mickey was going to enjoy any moment he could get before he let Ian down.

He didn’t feel prepared to run away or leave this life. Logically, nothing could be better for him than the life he had right now.

He sighed, staying focused on the drinks he poured.

Sara came out from the back room with her phone as she read a text out loud

“Cuenta la stock, necesito asegurarme la cabron no robó alcohol”

Mickey shifted his eyes, unable to understand most of that sentence

“English” he reminded, Sara rolled her eyes

“Vince wants the stock counted to make sure Marc didn’t take anything”

“Jesus fucking—” Mickey muttered, “paranoid, maybe?”

“Just a tiny bit” she snickered

“And let me guess, you want me to do it?” he assumed

“Uh huh” she grinned, “what’s the problem with you and him anyway?”

“Nothin’” Mickey shrugged, keeping his eyes on Ian, “just don’t like fathers who treat their gay kids like shit”

“Hmm, nothing personal?”

“Nope” he instantly cut off the conversation, “Ian!” he yelled out.

Ian responded right away and made his way through the crowd to reach Mickey, throwing the empty bottles in the bin.

“ _An hour_ , my ass” he sneered, placing the dish towel back on the counter

“What? We have enough serving drinks and Sara doesn’t clean, too scared she’ll break a nail” he explained, showing off his fingernails in a jazzy fashion.

“Hey!” Sara exclaimed “that’s sexist”

“Is not” he scoffed “even if you were a man, it would still be fucking true”

Sara shut up, knowing well enough that well…It was true.

Ian just sighed, waiting for Mickey to tell him what he wanted.

“What do you need me for, Mick?”

“Right—uh, Vince wants someone to count stock and I thought you could help me so I can teach you”

“ _Right_ ” Ian pursed his lips, wiping his hands on his jeans, “sounds fun”

Mickey led Ian to the back room, closing the door behind him to stop the loud music from interrupting or distracting them.

Ian looked around the room and regretted his decision immediately. There were so many boxes piled that just the sight of them made him want to go back to the bar and grab a beer for himself.

“What is he, a beer hoarder or something?” Ian questioned, leaning against a shelf as Mickey gathered the papers to count off.

“Nope, just a wealthy businessman”

“apparently so” Ian muttered, picking at the sticker on one of the boxes.

 

This is where the night started to really drag, Ian quickly grew tired from the counting and from how dull the lighting was in the room.

Mickey wasn’t happy either since everything added up so far. He didn’t understand why Vince cared so deeply for a few bottles of cheap alcohol. It just wasn’t worth it.

Ian put back another box that was intact, stretching his back from how tense his muscles became from all the lifting he had been doing.

Mickey chewed on his pen, wishing it were a cigarette as Ian sat down with a groan.

“Can we take a break?”

“Yeah” Mickey huffed, throwing the clipboard on the ground as he leaned with his elbows on his knees, flicking the pen down with frustration.

“I bet you nothing is even fuckin’ missing” he muttered, shaking his head

“What’s your problem?” Ian questioned curiously

“What are you talking about?” Mickey sighed, looking over at him

“You always seem annoyed at him, what did he do?” he wondered

“He’s just shit. He doesn’t like that André is gay, unlike Rosa. The only reason he tolerates me is because I’m not a ‘ _twink_ ’”

Ian bit the inside of his cheek, not knowing how to respond, so Mickey filled the space with an example.

“He pressured André his whole life to be a man and get with women. That’s why he’s so flaky with relationships, even when it’s a guy” he sighed, “He’s a shit dad, not as bad as mine but fuck, it’s just so fucked up. He doesn’t deserve that shit”

“You know you didn’t deserve that either, right?” Ian had to mention, watching how Mickey’s eyes sunk as if he didn’t believe him.

“I’m a shit kid, that’s the difference” Mickey muttered, picking up the clipboard and standing up to put it on the table.

Ian watched Mickey’s body language and how _charged_ he seemed, similar to a bull. He clearly had a lot on his mind and Ian wasn’t sure what to do about that. Mickey wasn’t typically one to pour out every single emotion he felt when frustrated like this.

Mickey checked his phone quickly and exhaled harshly.

“We still have another 40 minutes”

“Mick…” Ian spoke calmly, reaching for his hand.

Mickey looked down at Ian, unable to stop himself from admiring that sparkle in his green eyes.

“It’s okay” he smiled softly, “Whatever is in your head, just know it’s okay”

_But it wasn’t okay_

Mickey cleared his throat and twitched his lip into a sad smile.

“I’m fine” he promised, even though he was lying and Ian knew that.

Ian stood up and placed his hand on Mickey’s cheek, stroking softly.

“You deserve _amazing_ things”

They stared into each other’s eyes filled with love and emotion and it was this moment that made Mickey want to just shout that he didn’t deserve anything, and definitely didn’t deserve Ian wanting to fight for him.

Mickey leaned in for a sudden kiss that Ian sunk into immediately.

This was Mickey saying _I’m sorry, I love you_ and _you deserve better_.

He grabbed Ian’s hips, guiding him backwards into the door to the bar, their kiss becoming more intense as Mickey motioned Ian’s lips further open. The two devouring each other.

Ian exhaled, tracing his fingers gingerly around his neck, just enjoying the sensation of his soft yet stubbly skin.

Fingers ran down Ian’s hip, giving him goosebumps through his shirt despite the weather. Mickey pulled his lips away, their foreheads touching as he fumbled to undo Ian’s belt.

“Mickey I—”

“Shh” he whispered as he undid the zipper of his jeans, “just wasting some time and besides, I owe you” he smirked.

Ian could feel his heart pounding as he looked at the lover, well aware that there was more than 30 people on the lot.

Mickey pulled out Ian’s length, pumping him in slow motions to warm him up which Ian instantly agreed too, resting his head back as Mickey kissed along his jawline, adding touches of tongue as he got to Ian’s neck.

Ian let out a soft moan as Mickey covered his mouth with the hand he wasn’t using.

“Stay quiet” he whispered, continuing to kiss and pump, slowly getting faster as Ian really gained some momentum.

Mickey pulled away, sinking down to the floor and getting on his knees.

Ian looked down at Mickey and just couldn’t help but admire the beauty, stroking his hair as Mickey took him in, swallowing the entire length right away and sucking hard, making Ian bite his lip so hard it probably would bleed.

“Shit, Mick” he whispered, relishing every second Mickey worked him.

The excitement of being in a public place definitely sent adrenaline coursing through Ian’s veins, wishing to take it to an extra extreme, but that could be for another night.

Mickey picked up the pace, using his tongue in the way that send shudders up Ian’s spine. Ian covered his mouth now, clasping his hand hard in Mickey’s hair, circling his hips as he felt himself enter a moment of complete paradise.

Mickey smirked at how hard Ian was trying to fight back, loving the way muffled moans managed to escape.

Fuck, he missed Ian. He missed looking up at him like _this_ and just worshipping him. He missed how well their bodies complimented and pleased one another no matter the circumstance.

He missed dirty, he missed rough, he missed the thrill, and he missed _real_ love.

Which he’d have to say goodbye to again, no matter how badly he couldn’t let it go.

Ian clenched his eyes, unknowingly holding his breath and Mickey somehow stepped it up further, pumping and working him with his mouth at once in impeccable strokes.

 

That was when the door jolted behind them and Ian instantly went into panic mode.

“Mickey!” Ian muttered, a hard knock coming at the door.

Mickey pulled away and took a deep breath, swallowing.

“Ocupado!” he shouted, Ian stayed completely still, trying to calm the heart that was beating out of his chest now.

“What are you doing!?” Sara yelled back, Mickey licked his lips.

“We’re doing the work you made us do! T-The door is blocked by boxes”

“Well get out here! I don’t have enough hands to run this bar alone”

“Fuck—” Mickey muttered, getting up “We’re coming!”

Ian laughed softly at the irony of that sentence and quickly, tucking his dick back into his pants.

“Fuck you” Mickey laughed, slapping his chest before they embraced in one more deep kiss.

“To be continued, okay?” Mickey promised and Ian nodded

Ian definitely wanted that to be continued. That was the second time Mickey had left him with blue balls today.

 

The time they had left at work was very light-hearted, the two flirted inconspicuously throughout the remainder of the shift. Ian would softly grope Mickey when no one was looking and Mickey would make sounds that hit Ian in all the right places.

All Ian wanted to do was get home and rip the clothes that hugged Mickey’s body so perfectly right off so they could finish what they started.

When they did get out, Mickey almost sped home. The way Ian couldn’t help but trace around the outline of Mickey’s length was making him just want to pull over and have them fuck in the backseat.

It was unbelievable how these two were still coming back for more, like magnets. They knew every inch of each other’s bodies and they were teasing each. and. every. one.

“How do you say I’m horny in Spanish?” Ian wondered as he got out of the car

Mickey laughed, thinking about it for a second as he locked the car.

“Estoy…Cachondo” Mickey hesitated, “I think”

Ian smirked as they headed to the front door, spinning Mickey around to pin him against the door.

“Then…” he brought his lips to Mickey’s ear as he spoke, estoy _mucho_ cachondo”

It was the lamest thing he had ever heard, but it managed to send nerves running straight downstairs, the way Ian’s voice slithered through his ears was just enough to make him want to give in and not even make it inside.

“Fuck” Mickey breathed with a slight laugh, “your accent is getting better”

Ian grinned, backing off, “I practice”

“I’m sure you fucking do” Mickey chuckled as he opened the door.

 

They got in the door of the quiet and dark home, but as soon as Mickey switched the light on they could see and hear Chico running right towards them.

Mickey beamed and opened his arms wide to the dog who jumped up to lick at his face.

“Hey boy!” Mickey patted him as he tried to fight off the kisses

Ian chuckled and kicked his shoes off, pulling out his tucked in shirt and undoing a couple of buttons.

Mickey laughed and pushed him off to wipe his chin “alright, that’s enough”

Ian was greeted by the dog in the exact same fashion which Ian happily embraced, watching Mickey as he went down the hallway.

“Alright Chico, that’s enough” Ian laughed before grabbing one of his chew toys that sat by the door, throwing it down the hall to keep him occupied.

Chico went running after the toy and Ian followed Mickey’s footsteps, leaning against the archway of the hall, just watching Mickey wash his hands after refilling Chico’s water.

Ian’s posture was rather flirtatious and _open,_ just waiting for Mickey to come walking over to him so Ian could just hold him and finish what they started.

When Mickey turned to Ian a smirk spread right across his face. They were home, with no interruptions. They were alone.

Mickey wiped his hands on his pants, making his way over in a glowing stride.

“ _‘To be continued’_ ” Ian quoted with playful grin

“Uh huh” Mickey breathed, launching himself up to meet with Ian’s lips.

Ian exhaled, pulling Mickey in hard by the loops of his jeans as Mickey’s arms wrapped around his neck, the two picking up their make out exactly where they left off. Getting sloppy and animalistic in only seconds.

 

They went banging and crashing along the hallway, Mickey pushing Ian backwards as Ian fumbled to undo the buttons of Mickey’s shirt.

Grunts and groans came from them after every little pain they encountered along the way, but they ignored it, more focused on getting their clothes off and onto the floor.

They made it to the entrance hall and Ian swung Mickey around, kissing Mickey’s neck passionately, his hands sliding up the small of Mickey’s back to pull him closer, guiding Mickey now.

Mickey bit his lip from the friction in his jeans and felt around for the railing of the stairs so he could help guide them, since they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

Ian moved with Mickey, pressing their lips together as his hands slid up to his waist and just as Mickey went to take a backwards step up the staircase, he slipped, pulling Ian down with him.

Ian pulled away as a gasp left his lips, “You alright?”

Mickey felt himself get hot in the face and just laughed.

“Fucking perfect” he smirked

Ian grinned and stood up, holding his hands out to Mickey.

Mickey looked at his hands, wanting them to be on his bare skin again.

 _Fuck it,_ Mickey thought, _I want him now._

Mickey grabbed Ian’s open shirt, pulling him down to meet his lips once more.

At first Ian went into shock but quickly caressed Mickey’s face as he adjusted himself to perfectly fit like a jigsaw puzzle with his body.

Mickey pulled the collared shirt over Ian’s shoulder and Ian quickly pulled it off, moving his lips down Mickey’s diagonal body against that staircase as he slid down Mickey’s jeans.

Ian was actually quite intrigued, usually they made it to the bedroom.

Staircase sex—this was definitely something new.

Mickey helped him get his jeans off, pulling Ian back up so their lips could slam together once more.

“Just get to it, Gallagher” he muttered through his teeth, biting Ian’s lip slightly before moving onto his hands and knees.

Ian smirked, instantly knowing their go-to style. He moved Mickey’s shirt out of the way so he could kiss down his back before trailing his tongue over Mickey’s perfect hole and back up to meet his lower back.

“You f-fucking tease” he whimpered softly, aching for Ian to just get it over with

“You love it” he snickered in Mickey’s ear, moaning softly as pulled out his hard length, running it over Mickey’s hole.

“Shit” Mickey sighed, resting his head on his arm on the stair.

Ian spat in his hand to lubricate them both as quick as possible and got straight to the point.

Mickey winced at the impact, “f-fucking dick” he breathed, but eventually eased into it.

 

From all the prior build up, it didn’t take long for them to get into the motion of things, Mickey was rolling his hips against Ian, _agreeing_ with _every_ _move_ Ian made.

Mickey’s knees were starting to hurt from the hard wood beneath them and knew they’d have to switch it up soon, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it because Ian was hitting the right spot every time.

Ian held onto Mickey’s hips tight, slamming into him at such a rate Mickey had to fight back his screams. Ian was panting, beads of sweat building on his forehead.

The fact they didn’t have the time to turn on the AC was clearly the only downfall.

Mickey pursed his lips, the trembling in his knees causing him to nearly collapse. He just couldn’t take it.

“Fuck—sit up!” he ordered, and Ian immediately obeyed, sitting on a stair, his back against the railing to hold Mickey close as he slowly sank himself back down, Ian moaning from the tightness that surrounded him.

Sure, it was a bit of an awkward position, but it also worked perfectly. They were hitting all the right spots and each movement proved that since there were numerous profanities reeling out of them because of it.

Ian watched Mickey’s face admiringly as he moved his hips in circles, Mickey using the railing to his advantage to help him move so perfectly.

Nothing was better than Mickey, he was so in-fucking-love with the intimacy they shared and everything that fell around that.

“Y-You’re so…” Ian almost slipped, but Mickey covered his mouth, resting their heads together as he panted softly

“Shut up” he huffed breathlessly

Ian just smirked, noticing Mickey slowing down from fatigue and grabbed his ass, holding him up so he could thrust up into him in fast, rhythmic motions.

Mickey almost yelped, grabbing onto the railing with both hands as he moaned and groaned his way through each stroke over his prostate.

Ian grabbed a hold on Mickey’s shaft, working him at the same pace.

It didn’t take long for them to get here, but after all the teasing—they deserved a release.

“Of fuck” Mickey muttered, feeling his legs quiver as he just let them relax, throwing his head back as he just consumed each raw sensation that ran through him.

Ian latched his lips onto Mickey’s neck, sucking only gently so it wouldn’t leave a mark in spite of how badly he wanted to leave marks of love all over his perfect body.

He used his tongue, pulsing against his neck through his huffs and pants, feeling himself get closer to the edge from the beautiful sounds of pleasure erupting through Mickey’s incredibly plump lips.

“I’m—” Mickey warned and Ian peeled his lips away, pulling Mickey’s face down to meet his, their eyes staring deeply into one another with such lust and devotion.

“Do it” he panted “I’m nearly there too”

Mickey shut his eyes and moaned, biting his lip and resting his forehead against Ian’s.

“Come for me…” Ian whispered as lust took control of his body

The two of them just kept going; rocking, jolting, panting, moaning, whimpering, just _fucking_ any stress or worry away as they just embraced being together in sweaty utopia.

Where they could be together, and they were _free_.

Ian held back the best he could as Mickey tensed around him, letting out his orgasm loud and proud, shaking only the slightest as he came down from it.

“S-Shit” Ian muttered, pulling out and Mickey grabbed a hold of his length, pumping fast as their lips locked, messy and without focus.

Ian moaned loudly, gasping softly against Mickey’s lips as he came in three easy strokes.

The pair calmed down to a complete stop, opening their eyes and just staring in each other’s eyes with so much love and intensity Ian could feel his eyes sting just slightly as the truth of the situation settled in.

Ian and Mickey caressed each other’s faces despite their mess and shared one more loving kiss before Mickey pulled his lips away, biting his lip as his eyes fluttered open to meet Ian’s.

“We should clean-up” he suggested in a soft tone, getting off Ian and ignoring the pain in majority of his muscles.

Ian nodded in agreement and slid his own jeans back on, getting up

“He gets home in the mornin’” Mickey added, pulling his boxers back on.

Something about that made Ian feel overwhelmed with sadness and disappointment. There had been so many happy moments left to share with Mickey, and by the vibe Mickey suddenly had it made Ian think they wouldn’t share another moment together for a while.

 

The two men cleaned themselves off and got into their track pants before they cleaned up obvious factors of their rebellious weekend against the ever-so-humble _André_.

It was almost midnight once they had put their stained clothes in the wash and opened all the windows to air out any remainders of nicotine luring the air.

Mickey sat down with Ian at the outdoor seating area by the pool with a beer, just enjoying the sound of the ocean as they relaxed after the rough… _work out…_ they had.

Ian stared at the water in the pool, watching the beach ball that floated on the water bop around from the warm air that pushed it across.

He looked over at Mickey who was focused on his phone, knowing something was troubling him by how his brows slanted into a frown from clearly over-thinking and being filled with concern.

Ian licked his lips hesitantly, taking a sip from his beer.

“Are you alright?” he asked with worry

Mickey took a gulp of his beer and nodded, “Yeah, man”

“Okay…” Ian sighed, tapping his fingers on the glass bottle.

He secretly wished Mickey would focus on him instead.

“Who are you talking to?” Ian asked again to fight the bored tension in the air.

“Who the fuck else?” Mickey murmured sarcastically in response, typing a reply.

Ian rolled his eyes

_André_

Chico pitter-patted his way outside and Ian felt a smile creep onto his face knowing he too now had a distraction.

“Hey there!” Ian greeted excitedly, Mickey still not acknowledging his surroundings.

The dog came over wagging his tail to accept a pat from Ian before he made his way to the grassy area to do his business.

That left Ian alone again, sipping his beer as he waited for Mickey to look up from that glowing screen.

“What is he saying?” Ian had to ask, wanting to know the meaning behind that frown.

Mickey exhaled and locked his phone, throwing it onto the coffee table.

“He said he’ll be on a plane by 7:30 and should be back by 9”

“Oh” Ian responded simply, not showing much emotion, “guess we better head to bed soon then”

“Yeah” Mickey replied, glugging down the rest of his beer before getting up, “want another?”

Ian looked down at the beer in his hands and shook his head

“Nah, this one is still full”

Mickey just walked off, burping as he made his way to the door.

“Hey Mick…” Ian spoke up

“What?” Mickey wondered, stopping in his tracks.

Ian looked over at him, trying not to get his hopes up.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” he wondered

Mickey itched his lip, unsure how to answer that.

“I don’t know” he told him honestly

“What do you mean ‘I don’t know’?”

Ian was the one frowning now

“It means I don’t fucking know, okay?” Mickey raised his voice slightly

Ian felt frustration bubble up inside of him as he watched Mickey walk away from him to head back inside. Ian put his drink down, storming in after him.

He couldn’t stand Mickey hiding back something, he had been acting this way whenever they weren’t having sex or any type of intimate moment.

The only time his emotions came out was when they were at their most vulnerable—when they had no clothes on and were skin-to-skin, looking in one another’s eyes.

“What, can we not be together now?” Ian wondered abruptly

“Fuck—” Mickey put the bottle in the bin and snapped at Ian, “No! Okay? Is that what you want to hear!?”

“Of course not” Ian choked, walking over with clear sadness in his eyes.

Mickey looked down, wishing it didn’t have to come to this.

“But why?” Ian asked softly, a tinge of ache in his voice, “He goes around with others, why—”

“Because—” Mickey interrupted before stopping himself.

He looked up into Ian’s eyes with a sigh.

“Because you’re _different_ , okay?”

Ian looked away from Mickey’s eyes to stop the emotions that were scratching up his throat.

“Ian” he continued, “you aren’t a random _fuck_ , alright? You’re my ex, you’re the guy I loved. You’re the guy who broke me”

Ian blinked away his tears and looked at Mickey with some form of dismay.

“What?”

Mickey sighed, “I forgive you for it, I do, but I said goodbye to that life and I ain’t exactly prepared to jump straight back into it”

“Mick, I can fix this” Ian promised, an overwhelming sense of pride in his sentence.

He took a step closer and Mickey stepped back, pulling Ian’s heart with him.

“bullshit” he puffed, “I can’t risk it. I have a good life here. I’ve never had anything as safe as this before”

“I kept you safe?” Ian spoke with an aching tone, clearly misunderstood.

“Yeah, until dad showed up or your bitchy half-sister put me in prison and you didn’t do jack _shit_ to help me” Mickey reminded Ian, trying not to let old anger spread fire through his bones.

Ian just shook his head, looking down.

All this work to break down the wall between them was suddenly rebuilt.

“Look, you mean a fuck load to me, Ian. If I take this step and I _fall_ —” he stopped himself again.

Ian looked back up with a glisten in his eye, trying not to get too hopeful on that word as Mickey continued.

“I just can’t risk it”

“I thought you wanted _crazy_ ” Ian pointed out

“Yeah but I need _normal_. I need you to get that”

Ian smirked sadly, nodding as he tried to grasp it despite every fiber in his being wanting to deny it.

“I get it”

Mickey felt sudden relief that there wasn’t a huge fight about it.

“So” Ian began, looking at Mickey again, “should we just pretend this never happened?”

Mickey shrugged, “I don’t want to, but I guess we’ll have to”

That hurt Ian’s heart in way he couldn’t even explain. After everything, these new memories had to be what Ian hoped they’d never be; a dream.

Mickey took a step closer, placing his hand on Ian’s jaw to bring Ian’s eyes to look directly into his.

A soft smile tiptoed across Mickey’s face as he leaned up, the two sharing a kiss.

Not a lustful kiss, but one of those loving, deep kisses with no intention of going somewhere. It was Ian’s favorite type of kiss where he could just devour Mickey for the sake of him being Mickey without it meaning anything but _love_.

Ian’s hands snuck up to Mickey’s hips as they moved soft and slow, Mickey hesitantly pulling away from the kiss to pull him in for a comforting hug.

They squeezed each other, Ian’s finger’s digging into his back as his nose pressed into Mickey’s shoulder, inhaling his amazing scent.

His throat tightened from the sobs he bit back, his heart was aching too even though he understood Mickey’s worries, and deep down he knew this wouldn’t be the end for them, but it still hurt.

It just hurt, which was a natural emotion to feel when the person you love just can’t afford to love you back until they sort out their own shit.

* * *

 

_ Monday Morning _

Dishes clattered in the sink, Ian and Mickey quietly preparing for André to walk through that door. The anxiety was creeping up Ian’s spine and he had no idea what to expect from now on.

It was weird waking up without Mickey by his side. It had only happened once but once he got a taste of what that was like again, it was so strange to wake up in a large room all alone.

Mickey turned on the TV to fill the void of silence before making sure he looked okay in the hallway mirror. Ian just stood back, still in his pajamas with no intention of looking good today.

Of course he didn’t sleep last night, and maybe Mickey didn’t get much sleep either, but that didn’t matter now.

“He’s around the corner” Mickey informed

A tall and handsome Mexican was nearly home.

 

A loud beep came from outside the house as a car pulled up, Chico barking defensively as Mickey made his way to the door.

“Chico it’s fine! It’s just your papi!” he told the dog, holding him back with his leg as he opened the door.

Ian rushed over to help hold Chico back as Mickey walked outside, closing the door behind him.

He sighed with frustration and let the dog go, deciding it was best he went out and said hello too.

Ian opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind him. His stomach churned in both sadness and disgust at the sight of André and Mickey holding each other the way Ian and Mickey did last night.

Mickey looked so happy and Ian wasn’t sure if it was a fake type of happy anymore.

Maybe Ian wasn’t the one for Mickey, after all.

That was when Ian noticed the car pulled up in the driveway was a shitty Nissan Sentra.

The same shitty chipped brown Nissan Sentra Ian got a ride to Acapulco in.

With Daniel sitting in the front seat.

“The fuck?” he muttered, walking towards the car.

“Ian!” André beamed as he noticed him

Ian turned to the still well-dressed man and smiled kindly, saying a quick hello.

Daniel got out of the car, just standing there as he leaned against the car.

“¡Oye! You going to grab your own bags or what!?” Daniel yelled out to André

André just served him the middle finger before cupping Mickey’s face to continue whatever in-depth conversation they were having.

Ian rolled his eyes, “I’ll do it”

“Gracias, Ian!”

“Yeah whatever” he mumbled, continuing to walk towards the car.

It gave him an excuse to ask Daniel what the fuck he was doing here anyway.

 

He approached the vehicle where the Californian-Mexican was opening the trunk of the car, pulling out a duffle bag. He was dressed just as nicely as André, if not better.

“Hey! You an Uber driver now or something?” Ian greeted jokingly

Daniel looked up at Ian and his face lit up instantly, “Holy shit, it _is_ you!”

“Yep” Ian chuckled, the two embracing in a friendly bro-hug

“How you going, man?” he wondered, actually interested

“Uh, alright” Ian smiled “How about you?”

“Eh” Daniel shrugged “It’s work. It’s what you expect”

Ian smirked, “Fun. What are you doing in Acapulco?”

“Uh, just driving André home. Heading back to Antonio now”

Ian furrowed his brows as countless questions flooded his head.

“I thought he caught a flight back?”

“Nope” Daniel replied, his lips making a popping sound to put emphasis on the _nope_

He lied?

“How do you know André?” he questioned rather probingly.

Daniel smirked, closing the trunk of the car.

“He’s one of my best friends”

Maybe this is how they knew Mickey?

Daniel knows André and André knows Mickey.

Makes sense, but it didn’t stop Ian wanting to ask more questions.

“What was he doing in Mexico?”

“I don’t know” Daniel looked at him, those dark green eyes trying to understand Ian’s intentions.

Ian sighed and looked down, still wondering why André would lie.

“Hey…” Daniel caught Ian’s attention, pushing his dark hair back out of his face, “would you like to meet up for a drink or something when I’m in town next?”

Ian smirked at the flattery, “What for?”

“I dunno” He shrugged, clearly a tad flustered, “Catch up or something?” 

“When are you in town next?”

“The 14th” Daniel quickly replied, tapping anxiously at the car.

“ _Valentine’s Day?_ ” Ian tried to hide his grin, “Daniel, are you asking me on a date?”

Daniel bit his lip, continuing to look nervous

“It’s whatever you want it to be”

Ian grinned at the offer but wasn’t sure his heart could take it, not when he felt so strongly about Mickey.

But when he looked back at Mickey and saw how happy he was with André, Ian realized he had to go out there and give Mickey a taste of his own medicine.

He could also find out more about André and even maybe Mickey, and it would mean he wouldn’t have to stay at home sobbing into his cereal dinner whilst they went out on a romantic date.

He turned back to face Daniel’s sweet hopeful eyes with a smile.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan”

“Okay awesome. I’ll pick you up at 6” he replied nonchalantly, despite the giddy smile on his face.

His happiness distracted Ian from his heartache and troubles. Maybe this is what he needed.

 

Ian lugged the heavy duffle back up to the house, a victorious grin on his face as Daniel drove off, beeping a goodbye.

“What are you happy about?” Mickey asked as André waved his friend goodbye.

“Got a date” he flaunted, opening the door.

“What!?” André interrupted, “With Daniel?”

“Yep!” Ian smirked, making his way inside with the bag.

Mickey and André looked at each other, Mickey more alarmed than André.

He couldn’t believe it. This had to be a rebound.

Ian wouldn’t just move on after all of this effort to fight for him, would he?


	14. Chapter 14

It was officially the day of love; Valentine’s Day.

The day when you’re meant to be with the person you love and cherish them.

For Ian, that wasn’t exactly the case. He never really _did_ Valentine’s day anyway, at least not in the traditional sense.

Back in the day, Ian was typically alone on this day. Unless Mickey was in Juvie they would usually just hang out in the secret spots they loved and felt safe, talking about the things that only mattered to them. It was simple, and simple was all they needed.

Ian recalls the last time they spent this day together, Mickey had come out and Ian was coming back up from his first major low with his disorder.

The two stayed at home on the couch with some fresh hot pizza. Ian had even lit a few candles to get them in the mood for  _romance_ which was kind of pointless, because even without the pizza and candles they probably still would’ve been just as happy and just as in love.

All they needed was each other, connecting so deeply within the peaceful simplicity of being alone together.

Unfortunately, the only thing that connected Ian and Mickey now was the aroma of pancakes that filled the air.

“It’s ready!” Ian sung from the kitchen, flipping pancakes that were perfectly cooked from years of practice.

Things between Mickey and Ian were O.K. It wasn’t ideal and things definitely weren’t the same as they were before their lil’ weekend rapture, but they dealt with it.

What hurt Ian was just how good Mickey was at acting like nothing had happened. He looked at André the same way he looked at Ian and it made his stomach churn because he wasn’t sure who was receiving the true or false emotion.

“Smells good!” Mickey complimented as he grabbed himself a plate.

Ian just gave him a soft smile and served his own plate, joining Mickey at the dining table he had set for the household with another plate filled with the rest of the pancakes.

André’s loud footsteps came down the hallway and Ian pretended not to notice, pouring maple syrup over his meal.

“Happy Valentine’s day!” he chimed, making his way over to Mickey to press his lips to his cheek.

Mickey had a tight smile as he leaned into it, “Happy Valentine’s Day”

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, Ian” André grinned

Ian huffed, “Good morning”

“Pancakes!” André rubbed his hands together as he sat next at the end of the table, “¡Rico!”

Ian took a bite of his food and looked over at how disinterested Mickey seemed, pensive and deep in thought.

“So, what are you guys doing today?” Ian asked just for the sake of filling empty space.

“C’mon Gallagher” André smirked, “ _I can’t spill all my secrets_ ”

The sweet pancakes suddenly tasted sour in his mouth hearing his accent say his name.

“It’s a bullshit day, anyway” Mickey suddenly added, as if he were paying attention the whole time.

“Shush, cariño” André soothed, plating up his meal, “You’ll love it”

“Never said I wouldn’t” he exhaled, forking some pancakes into his mouth.

Ian knew Mickey was the romantic type in his own way, and that he didn’t need a day to show that side of him. He had heard the _‘I hate Valentine’s Day’_ spiel from Mickey more than once in his life, but it never stopped him from doing something even remotely sweet for Ian—and now, _André_.

André pursed his lips, turning to Ian who stared awkwardly into the abyss.

“Anyway, what I will say is we’re going to a 5 star restaurant tonight. It has an amazing view of the sun setting over the ocean”

Ian nodded, pretending to be impressed, “That sounds great”

“Yeah!” He beamed, pouring maple syrup over his short stack, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Ian muffled, mouth full.

“What’s your plan for tonight?”

Ian shifted his eyes as he swallowed, he was sure he already told them.

“I’m going out with Daniel for dinner”

Mickey scoffed, “You really going out with that asshole?”

“Why do you care?” Ian wondered

“I don’t” Mickey muttered, not looking in Ian’s eyes as he grabbed another pancake.

Ian tried to fight his smirk, sipping his coffee.

“You know he’s a criminal, right?” André informed

Ian let out a laugh at the irony, looking back and forth between Mickey and André

“Really? You’re one to talk”

Mickey became attentive, the fire growing inside of him as he watched the conflict unfold.

André shot back, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying” Ian shrugged, putting more food into his mouth, “we clearly have the same taste in men”

The man at the end of the table glared, looking at Mickey who shook his head slightly, mouthing;

_‘It’s fine’_

André sighed as Ian smirked, the both of them getting back to eating their delicious breakfast.

 

Today was Ian’s first day of work without Mickey, and since it was Valentine’s Day it only made it that little bit harder.

He was working with Sara which kept him at some level of ease, since they had worked together multiple times before.

It was a lunch shift so luckily there weren’t that many customers, but majority were couples coming in for a drink after going to the beach or something similar to that.

“¡Hola! ¿cómo estás?” Ian greeted a customer with his wife, putting on the best accent he could

“bien gracias” the man smiled, Ian tried to remember what Sara had taught him

“¿Qué quieres?”  he asked simply

“Dame un vino tinto barato y una corona por favor”

Ian caught on straight away, getting a beer and a glass of red wine for the couple.

He was getting better at understanding the language, which will happen when you’re surrounded by it majority of the time.

He served the drinks and got the cash, keeping the tips before serving the next person.

 

The shift was as slow as expected, and with one hour to go until he could speed home, shower and get ready for his date with Daniel, he was getting slightly pedantic.

He was actually looking forward to the date, not in that _‘Oh yay, new love!’_ kind of way, but in that _‘Oh yay, company!’_   kind of way, which made Ian feel kinda bad considering how obvious Daniel’s feelings were.

Ian did think Daniel was attractive, but he was so stuck on Mickey—him being stuck on Mickey is part of the reason why his relationships failed. He knew now that there was no point moving on, because it just never worked.

Just as he served a man a shot of tequila, another tall, handsome Mexican man walked in, with a smaller, dark haired  and even more handsome American in tow.

André and Mickey.

Just the people he wanted to see…

He wished it were him downing the shot of tequila.

Sara embraced André with a kiss on the cheek hello and probably would’ve tried Mickey if he hadn’t backed off completely.

Ian smirked, just watching thoughtfully.

Why did Mickey always look better when he couldn’t have him?

The couple made their way towards the counter and Ian pretended to keep busy, pouring shots meant for nobody.

“Ian! Working hard?” André smirked, reaching over the bar to grab the shot, shooting it right down his throat.

Mickey just kept his eyes on his boyfriend, whilst Ian couldn’t keep his eyes off Mickey.

“What do you guys want?” Ian wondered, unamused.

André slammed the shot down and grabbed Mickey’s hand, entwining their fingers as he spoke.

“Is dad here?” he asked simply

Ian shrugged, shaking his head, “nah, haven’t seen him”

André just smirked as Mickey looked towards the floor now.

“Good, he needed me to go through some paperwork out back anyway”

Ian furrowed his brows, watching how Mickey instantly lifted his face into a grin when André looked down admiringly at him. The couple made their way to the back room without saying goodbye.

“Alright, see you” Ian mumbled, taking a deep breath to compose himself.

Jesus, no matter how much time had passed between Mickey and Ian’s hook-up and now, it still hurt just as much as it did when Mickey said they couldn’t be together.

Ian didn’t expect this to be so hard. Sure, he had a date tonight and sure, he had spent many Valentine’s Day’s without Mickey, but he was witnessing Mickey spending the Day of Love with someone he probably didn’t love. That’s what hurt.

“Ian!” Sara called out from a table where she was speaking to a customer, “Can you go and get my phone? I need to text my daughter”

Ian tried not to roll his eyes and just nodded with a kind smile.

“Of course” he replied, making his way to the back room.

He bit back his remarks wondering why she couldn’t do it herself and pushed the door open, feeling his heart sink at what he abruptly became a witness to.

André was kissing Mickey up against the shelves, his hands pinning Mickey’s down as they devoured one another.

Ian was aching, the floor rocked beneath him and he couldn’t help but stare.

Mickey opened his eyes at the sound of Ian walking in and was quick to shove André off, snapping out of his lustful stance.

“Fuck” he muttered, staring at Ian so apologetically.

Ian observed the look, knowing he would of course forgive Mickey for this, but it still hurt. His chest was heaving from the heavy breaths he took, not knowing what to do.

André turned around and smirked at Ian slyly.

“Ian! So sorry. You don’t mind, do you?” he spoke without care

The words running through Ian’s head weren’t as forgiving as his reply

“No! It’s fine” he assured

_Yes, I do mind._

Is what he wanted to say

_I hope you know Mickey sucked my dick in this room._

_I hope Mickey knows you shove all your other lovers against a wall like that, too._

Ian just rushed to grab the phone, ignoring the couple before making his way back out to the bar. He was still stunned from what he saw.

 

“Gosh, you’re usually pale but you look like you just saw Casper the Friendly Ghost” Sara remarked with a giggle

Ian huffed, passing the phone to Sara as he turned to see Mickey take off out of the room with André following close behind.

André turned him around, cupping his face, speaking words Ian couldn’t hear.

Mickey looked up at him and grinned friskily, leaning up to give him a quick teasing kiss.

_Fucking hell._

Why couldn’t Ian stop watching him no matter how much it hurt?

Ian just shook his head, grabbing a shot glass to fill it with tequila, shooting it back and cringing at how the cheap alcohol clawed his throat, burning on its way down.

 

* * *

 

 

The iconic Nissan Sentra pulled up at the McMansion right on time at 6:00pm. Ian was pacing the entry way, running his hand through his hair as he waited for the knock at that door. He hoped he was dressed well enough for wherever they went out to eat/do.

Mickey came down the stairs, feeling uneasy at the sight of how nervous Ian seemed about this date. It was as if Ian _actually_ cared.

Ian looked up at Mickey coming down the stairs and almost tripped over his own feet in awe.

He was clean-cut and striking; too bad they were spending this night with other people.

“Hey…” Ian greeted softly, suddenly standing still.

Mickey reached the bottom of the stairs and smiled, admiring how nice Ian looked, too.

“Hey…” he responded with the same level of softness

That was when the knock came at the door and Ian hesitated for a moment before walking over to open it.

Mickey just cleared his throat, snapping out of his daze.

“André!” Mickey shouted, “Hurry the fuck up!”

Ian pulled the door open to smile at the tanned man who sparkled in front of him, a bright white smile with a glisten in his big green eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” he smiled charmingly, pulling a bouquet of roses from behind his back.

“Wow!” Ian reacted, feeling himself grin helplessly. He took the bouquet, smiling at how gorgeous the arrangement was.

He could just feel Mickey’s eyes watching, burning, holding back the need to attack.

“Thank you” Ian replied gratefully, trying not to gush too much.

“Got you this, too” He smirked, pulling his other arm from behind his pack to reveal a 6 pack of good quality beer, “Just in case flowers are a bit too _gay_ ” he added

“No, this is awesome” Ian laughed, taking it from him, “Thank you though—Let me just go put this away and I’ll be back”

Ian made his way down the hall and Daniel welcomed himself inside, meeting with Mickey’s jealous eyes.

“Mikhailo” he greeted with a grin

“Danny” Mickey spoke flat-toned

Daniel just chuckled, nodding towards the staircase, “André up there?”

“Yeah, you can go up and see him if you want”

“Nah, I’m just going to wait for Ian”

Mickey laughed under his breath and nodded, crossing his arms.

“How long have you guys been friends for anyway?” Daniel questioned curiously

“Huh?” Mickey responded, not understanding “who?”

“ _Ian_ ”

“Oh” Mickey backed off, forgetting not everyone knew that they were ex’s, “forever, we grew up together”

“Awesome” He smiled, “same with me and André”

Mickey served him a tight smile before awkwardly biting his lip. How could Ian ever agree to a date with a guy as desperate as Daniel? That clean godly look won’t fool anyone or cover up the person he really was.

That was the moment Mickey realized that this was just the jealousy talking, because nothing really was wrong with Daniel, he was a good guy, and that’s what threatened Mickey the most.

Maybe Mickey was just being judgmental because of how much he actually missed Ian and was jealous because someone else was going to be with him tonight.

He hoped it’d be the worst date ever and that Ian wouldn’t go any further than a kiss with him.

It was a hope that would get him through the night with ease, anyway.

“Where are you and André going for dinner?” Daniel asked to start a conversation

“Some place on the coast” Mickey shrugged it off, “you?”

“In town, I think he’s seen enough of the coast staying here. He might enjoy the city a bit more”

Mickey just nodded, biting his tongue because he wanted to be the one to show Ian the city.

“Sounds good”

“Danny!” André greeted with excitement, running down the stairs.

“¡Pendejo!” Daniel cheered, the two wrapping each other up in a tight friendly hug.

Ian walked back in and couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

“Well, this escalated quickly” he spoke to himself

“I know right” Mickey replied

The two friends shared a quick conversation which was quickly cut off when Daniel noticed Ian was standing there ready with his leather jacket.

“You’re ready!” he beamed, “let me get that”

Being the gentlemen he was, he reached for the jacket and Ian allowed him to hold it, smiling thankfully.

Mickey wanted to throw up.

“Guess I’ll see you guys later” Daniel smiled

“Absolutely” André agreed

They all said their goodbyes and Daniel reached for Ian’s hand, Ian hesitating but smiling at the flattery as they linked fingers.

Ian looked over at Mickey as they walked out, noticing how he was nearly snarling like an angry Chihuahua.

For some reason, Mickey’s jealousy filled Ian with a smug feeling.

 

They got to the restaurant in the city just as the sun was setting and Daniel kindly pulled the chair out for Ian before taking his own seat.

Ian looked around as he sat, admiring the architecture and design of the place. Daniel opened up his menu, candles dimly lighting up the restaurant where the sun couldn’t reach, a perfect view through large glass windows to a city lit up with color and liveliness.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Daniel commented with a soft smile.

“Yeah” Ian exhaled, looking over at Daniel by the candlelight, “Being away from Chicago for so long makes me miss this kind of a view”

“I know what you mean. I miss Long Beach” he sighed at his own memories

“Then why don’t you go back?” Ian wondered, opening his own menu.

“Can’t” he stated simply, reading the menu as he changed the subject, “Ooh! The paella looks good”

Ian frowned slightly, realizing he didn’t want to talk about it, looking at the paella’s description.

“It does” Ian agreed, trying to keep his head distracted from his own thoughts.

He needed to focus on anything that wasn’t Mickey for just one night.

 

The second their food came they dug straight in and devoured it. They had been enjoying the night so far, almost halfway through their second bottle of Merlot which made their chatter and laughter became more light-hearted and contagious.

They ended up getting the paella, sharing thoughts on how good the taste was. The view of the now darkened sky lit up from the buildings was keeping a feeling so alive within Ian—like he was capable of anything.

“So,” Daniel begun, wiping his mouth with a serviette, “When are you heading back to Chicago?”

Ian stopped mid chew to stare hesitantly as he gathered his words. He picked up his glass of red wine and sipped, enjoying the flavors.

“Not sure” he admitted, “sometime in the next couple of months, hopefully”

“Hopefully?” Daniel questioned, a brow raised

Ian took another sip, looking over at Daniel as he thought it through. He felt he could trust him, and he deserved to know the truth to understand where Ian stands on the whole dating thing.

“Look,” Ian started, placing down the glass, “I’m going to let you in on a secret”

“Oh?” Daniel smirked, leaning in with his elbows on the table as he became more intrigued.

Maybe it was the alcohol that was opening Ian up like a blooming flower, either way he felt the need to share his secret.

Sharing is caring, after all.

“I lied when I said I was looking for a friend. I mean, I was looking for a friend but Mickey’s not really a friend, well he is, but he’s also my ex-boyfriend”

Daniel’s jaw dropped only the slightest, Ian could see the disappointment in his eyes before it turned to excitement.

“So, the reason you came to Mexico was…?”

“To get Mickey back, yeah” Ian confessed, biting his lip.

“Wow” Daniel scoffed, leaning back on the seat as if he couldn’t believe it, “but he’s with André, what are you still hanging around here for then?”

“ _It’s complicated,_ alright?” Ian sighed, his voice low, “I loved him, Daniel. I still do, and I know he might just love me, too”

“How do you know?”

“From the way he looks at me” Ian gushed, “we hooked up a few weekends ago and as always I just can’t get him out of my head”

Daniel wasn’t shocked by the infidelity; given he knew Mickey and André were in an open relationship. He leaned over the table again, smiling softly.

“Then why won’t he take you back and leave with you?”

“I don’t know. Apparently he’s safer here with André” Ian inhaled at the bitterness in his tone, “He won’t listen to me when I say I can get him out of the mess he got himself into”

“No one in his position ever would” Daniel explained, understanding Mickey’s point of view, “He doesn’t know what could happen if he goes back to America so he’s right, he is safer here”

“No, he isn’t safer here!” Ian instantly objected, “This _boyfriend_ , the _money_ , the _house_ and the _dog_ are all distractions from the reality of it all which is the fact that he’s a fugitive”

Daniel smiled tightly, “I know, but Mickey doesn’t realize that”

Ian huffed looking down at his plate, picking at the seafood with his fork, his mind running with thoughts of doubt.

They both went back to eating for a moment before Daniel noticed how distant Ian suddenly was.

“On the subject of secrets,” Daniel swallowed his food, “I guess I should tell you the truth too”

Ian furrowed his brows as he looked up at Daniel from across the table.

“What?”

Daniel downed the last of his wine, refilling his glass.

“André isn’t my best friend” he confessed, topping up Ian’s glass too.

“What?” Ian laughed slightly, “You fucking him too?”

“Fuck no!” Daniel exclaimed with a loud laugh, “although it wouldn’t be the first time someone in the family fucked a cousin”

Ian had a distasteful look on his face at the idea before realizing what he had said.

“So wait, you guys are cousins?”

“Yep” Daniel grinned, spooning food into his mouth

Ian’s brows continued to furrow as he gulped down his wine, trying to comprehend everything.

He placed the glass down and gently wiped his lips as he looked over at Daniel.

“What does that mean, then?”

“Nothing” Daniel shrugged, “for the most part, his side of the family has almost nothing to do with mine and what we… _do_ , but I’ve told you before that you white kids can’t trust us, shit always goes south eventually”

Ian nodded, remembering their old conversation

“So I shouldn’t trust you?” Ian wondered as he thought about what Daniel just said

“No! You should trust me just like I’m trusting you” he smiled warmly

“What are you trying to say then?” Ian wondered with curiosity and confusion.

“I’m just saying, André isn’t the person you _think_ he is”

“Figured that” Ian scoffed, “nothing about him adds up”

“Exactly” Daniel grinned, “I’m not allowed to share much else, but you should scope out some of the rooms in the house when you’re alone. It might make _some_ of the things I’m saying make sense”

Ian grinned eagerly, wanting to figure out who _André Fuentes_ really was.

Daniel picked up his glass of wine, holding it towards Ian.

“Now, let’s drink some more of this expensive wine and go back to talking about kittens and rainbows again, shall we?”

Ian chuckled, picking up his glass, “Sounds good to me”

“¡Salud!” he cheered with a bright smile

“¡Salud!” Ian laughed, clinking their glasses together.

 

After sharing a piece of chocolate cake and another bottle of wine together they headed off, unsure of what will happen next.

They were both drunk and out of their minds, just enjoying each other’s company.

Daniel insisted he pay the bill as Ian kept passing money over to pay for at least half. The waitress probably thought they were crazy, or maybe even found it adorable. Eventually, Daniel had his way and Ian was the loser, to which he said he would get his way the next time.

“Next time?” Daniel grinned as they made their way onto the street, the crisp air not taking a hold on their alcohol-possessed bodies.

“Sure!” Ian exclaimed with happiness, “Why not? It’s not like Mickey’s out there thinking about me”

Daniel laughed ironically, knowing that probably wasn’t the case. He knew Ian was more drunk than him and that the words leaving his lips now were nonsense.

The amount of alcohol they shared was hitting Ian fairly quickly now, he always forgot how drinking can quickly turn his entire bloodstream into alcohol from the meds he took, but he wasn’t sure he cared.

“I’ve had so much fun tonight” Ian rambled, “I’m not sure I want this night to end”

It was true, he didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want to get sober and face whatever truth was to be seen. Ian hadn’t had this much fun since his weekend with Mickey.

He also didn’t want to get home to an empty house and be alone with his thoughts, thinking about whatever André was doing with Mickey tonight.

“What should we do then?” Daniel wondered

“I don’t know” Ian pouted, looking around the streets filled with couples just holding hands around town and being... _coupley_

Ian looked over at Daniel who was just in his own little world and took him by the hand, linking their fingers.

“Let’s go for a walk” he proposed with a smile, to which Daniel instantly agreed.

“That sounds like a great idea”

 

So that’s what they did, walking around hand-in-hand as they talked about nothing and everything, sharing life stories and discussing things about items in stores that were still open.

They decided to get a 2 scoop cup of cookie dough ice cream to share and made their way down to the pier by the beach.

Ian embraced the salty air and smiled at the sight, trying to shake every thought wishing Mickey were here with him.

Daniel held the cup of ice cream and scooped some into his mouth, humming as they walked along.

“This is some good fucking ice cream” he slurred, stopping to lean his back on the railing of the pier.

Ian smiled and leaned against it with him on his elbows, spooning some of the ice cream.

“I know right” he chuckled, letting out a random thought, “I love Mexico”

Daniel raised his brow, looking down at Ian as he ate the cold desert.

“You do hear yourself, right?”

“What, it’s true!” Ian assured him, “I keep thinking how pretty everything looks, I even like the dirty parts. Plus, the language is beautiful”

Daniel let out a loud laugh, “Yo podría decir lo mismo de ti”

“What does that mean?” Ian smiled softly, looking up at the handsome man he shared this night with.

“Nothing” Daniel smirked, blushing only the slightest.

Ian stood up straight, facing him. The two men only inches apart.

“Tell me?” Ian persisted flirtatiously, looking deep and dreamily into his eyes 

Daniel cleared his throat, “I said, _‘I could say the same about you’_ ”

Ian smiled wide at the compliment, looking at the cup of ice cream to scoop some more, placing it in front of Daniel’s face.

Daniel grinned and ate the ice cream off the spoon.

If Mickey saw what they were doing, Ian was sure he’d rip them to shreds.

The night was so clear and beautiful, palm trees and lights making Ian feel like he was in an entirely new world. The groups people on the beach screamed playfully, chasing each other into the ocean, others making out as seagulls circled the air.

This was an experience Ian wouldn’t experience anywhere else, no matter how much alcohol was still in his system, he was grateful.  

“Thank you so much for tonight” He told Daniel softly

“No problem” Daniel smiled, “glad you’re enjoying yourself”

Ian just smiled slightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he took the cup of ice cream from his hands, leaning against the railing as he chewed through pieces of cookie dough, looking out to the deep, dark ocean that swept so peacefully onto the shore.

Daniel leaned next to Ian and continued to share their second dessert of the evening, looking out towards the ocean with his own thoughts circling his head like the seagulls above.

Ian couldn’t help but think about Mickey, and how he missed him. His mind flashed back with memories of how his skin looked close up and the secrets it held. He could vividly remember the taste of his tongue and how his scarred hands felt in his own palms, warm and safe.

He couldn’t believe how stunning Mickey was, and that new tattoo that sat perfectly on his skin. It made him wonder if André even knew what it was supposed to represent, and what he thought of the old tattoo that sat underneath, hidden between the art that would forever be near Mickey’s heart.

That was when an idea sparked in Ian’s head, remembering their conversation.

_‘Maybe I should get a tattoo of your name to compensate’_

_‘Ha!’ Mickey laughed, ‘I'd like to see that, tough guy’_

“Hey,” Ian piped up, “I have an idea”

“What?” Daniel wondered, looking at Ian who stared into space.

“Let’s go get tattoos”


	15. Chapter 15

The buzzing of a tattoo gun going back and forth against his skin was all Ian could remember when he started to wake up the next day.

He was sure it was just a dream.

His head ached excruciatingly, his mouth was dry and cottony. He felt like he had just walked through the Sahara Desert for a week and was dying for a drink of water.

When his eyes opened, Ian felt disorientated as he found himself in new surroundings—a dark, cheap hotel room where he lay on a velvet sofa that was stained from years of use.

Ian noticed his phone on the coffee table and went to roll off his back to reach it, but was met with a tender pain around his pelvic area.

“The fuck?” he muttered, moving onto his back again.

_No_

He carefully lifted his button up shirt to reveal a piece of taped up bloody plastic wrap sitting on the left side of his pelvis, the complete opposite side to the eagle on a gun Ian had tattooed onto his ribcage many years ago.

The buzzing noise of a tattoo gun wasn't a dream after all.

He was almost scared to remove the bandaging to find out what was underneath. He couldn’t remember what he got, but he suddenly remembered that Daniel was with him, and that he also got a tattoo last night.

Ian ignored the aching in his head and began to peel away the bandaging, unsure if his quickening heartbeat was from the heartburn or the anticipation to know what was underneath.

Once it peeled away, he could feel the skin breathing with relief after being trapped under that bandage for lord knows how long. Ian looked down at it and felt disgusted at the sight of a mangled tattoo with blood all over it.

From what he could tell, it said one word, a name, written in a lovely cursive font.

_Mickey_

He actually did it. He actually followed through with it, even though he gave it hardly any thought.

Ian kept a hold of his shirt and looked around the room, getting up to place the bandage in the rubbish bin by the small kitchen.

He ignored the pounding in his head and aching in his body as he walked through to the bedroom in hopes to find the bathroom. Ian was quick to notice how Daniel wasn’t around, but all his clothes and belongings were sprawled all over the place.

Daniel clearly had somewhere to be.

Just as suspected, he found the bathroom and Ian walked inside, trying to ignore his own reflection in the mirror as he turned on the taps to run some warm water.

He reached for the towel on the rack and wet it, carefully washing the new tattoo until all the blood wiped away.

He would have to apologize for the blood-stained towel later.

Ian dried off the new tattoo, still holding onto the towel as he looked at himself in the mirror.

He couldn’t believe how nice and clear his face looked despite the raging hangover he had, creeping his eyes down to where he could see Mickey’s name, even though it was backwards in the reflection, it actually looked good and not botched up like he imagined it would be.

Ian looked down at it and smiled softly as he ran his fingers along the cursive, bold letters, feeling the bumpiness of the ink that was stuck in his skin.

He was beginning to wonder why he hadn’t done this sooner, it made him feel closer to Mickey; as if no matter how far apart they were, they were always together in some way.

He understood why Mickey did it now.

 

Daniel came in the door just as Ian entered the living area, smiling over at Ian with his hand holding a cup tray with two large McDonald's cokes, as well as a McDonald's bag filled with what Ian assumed was their lunch.

“Hey, was about to wake you, I got us some lunch” He smiled, his eyes following down to the blood stained towel in his hand, “See you've found the tattoo, huh?”

“Yeah” Ian huffed, “Something like that”

Daniel smirked and put the food down on the coffee table, “Just throw it in the sink and I’ll deal with it later”

Ian nodded, doing exactly so as Daniel pulled things out of the bag.

“Didn’t know what to get you so I got you a Big Mac meal, that cool?”

“Yeah, that’s fine” Ian smiled, making his way to the couch to take a seat.

“This one’s yours” he told Ian, passing him one of the drinks.

“Thanks, I’m fucking thirsty” Ian confessed with a laugh, sipping down a large amount of the refreshing Coca-Cola.

Daniel turned on the small crappy TV that sat on a cheap TV stand and sat down next to Ian, shoving fries in his mouth.

“Fuck yeah, love me a telenovela—oh by the way, that’s the cream to put on your tattoo” Daniel informed, pointing to the tube of lotion on the cheap table.

“Oh cool” Ian nodded, putting down his drink as he pulled his burger and fries closer, putting a few of the fries in his mouth before reaching for the cream.

Daniel just bit into his burger, watching the TV.

“What did you get last night?” Ian asked curiously as he opened the tube

“Oh” Daniel mumbled, placing down his burger and lifting the sleeve of his shirt to reveal a scorpion that sat on his bicep, well shaded and quite frankly, slightly intimidating.

“Holy shit!” Ian exclaimed, “Looks good” he complimented, squeezing some of the lotion onto his fingers, massaging it gently onto his tattoo.

“Thanks. I still don’t know why I got it” he chuckled, “I think it’s because I love that scorpion tequila—bit stereotypical of me, but fuck, even hungover I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on a bottle of that”

Ian laughed and wiped the remainder of the lotion on his pants before opening up the box of his burger, feeling his mouth water at the sight.

“Where did we even go anyway?” Ian wondered as he picked up the burger, taking a bite

“Dunno” Daniel muffled with his mouth full, “Some dodgy place”

Ian nearly snorted, taking another sip of his coke.

“Honestly, they’re good artists but they took advantage of the fact we were drunk. Most tattooists turn away drunk customers because of how thin alcohol makes the blood, but I guess they were desperate”

“Yeah” Ian agreed, “I can’t believe how nice it turned out. I was so scared when I woke up and saw that bloody bandage”

Daniel laughed, “Oh my god you should’ve seen their faces from the amount of blood that came out of you last night, it was like you were just oozing alcohol”

“Jesus” Ian muttered, continuing to eat, suddenly realizing he forgot to bring his medication with him.

Oh well.

They ate for just a moment and watched the TV, Ian pretending to understand what they were saying whilst Daniel knew every single word.

“Also, sorry for not taking you home last night” Daniel spoke up, “but you were so far gone I thought it was better to carry you up to my hotel room and let you pass out on the couch instead”

_Boom, Crash, Bang._

Yeah, Ian could remember that now.

“Fuck, I’m sorry” Ian laughed with embarrassment, “I hope I didn’t do or say anything stupid”

“More stupid than a tattoo? Definitely not” Daniel smirked, “I don’t mind though, I had fun”

“Same” Ian smiled in agreement as the two continued to eat their meal.

 

They slurped down their drink with a couple of Advil once they were finished eating and hung out on the couch, their meal and pain-killers settling in as they just watched the TV.

Daniel was trying to explain to Ian what the characters on the telenovela were saying, but Ian would try and imitate them in English instead, assuming what they were saying.

“Okay, she’s saying she can’t believe her boyfriend—” Daniel tried to speak, but Ian interrupted.

“Sh, No!” Ian told him off

Daniel just shook his head with a laugh, watching Ian sit up on the couch and exaggeratedly gasp, holding his hand to his forehead.

“I can’t believe it!” Ian pretended to cry, his other hand on his chest “M-My husband...My husband is sleeping with another man!”

Ian pointed at Daniel, causing Daniel’s eyes to widen, biting his lip to hold back his laughter.

“He’s sleeping with you!”

“What!” Daniel pretended to be stunned, “¡que no!”

“¡Que sí!” Ian got on his knees to face Daniel, “You slept with him for the money, and in hopes you could finally win me back!” Ian held back his laugh, “That’s not how it works Enrique! Now my future with him is ruined!”

Ian slapped Daniel’s cheek playfully and Daniel grabbed Ian’s arms, pushing him down on the couch as he crawled on top.

“You want the truth, Ana?” Daniel acted out, staring Ian in the eyes.

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, “Yes, Enrique! All I ever wanted was the truth!”

“Well” Daniel sighed, “I didn’t sleep with your husband…I slept with your twin sister”

Ian gasped, smirking slightly as he slowly broke character.

“I slept with her because I wanted you so badly and she was as close as I was ever going to get” Daniel confessed as ‘Enrique,’ “But she was nothing like you”

Ian just stared up at Daniel, actually stunned by how well his acting was.

He couldn’t help but break character to compliment him

“Sorry but that was really good”

Daniel laughed and sat up with a shrug, “I used to be a part of the Drama Club in High School”

Ian’s brows shot up with surprise

“Lame, I know” Daniel gushed, looking down at his hands with embarrassment

“No, not at all” Ian disagreed, sitting up in front of him.

“Shut up” Daniel huffed, looking over at Ian with a fond smile, “Thanks, though”

“No problem” Ian smiled back, feeling something concave inside of him.

He couldn’t help but think how good his dark, handsome eyes looked in front of his own, and even though he wasn’t at all romantically attracted to Daniel, he felt compelled to kiss him.

Ian’s eyes looked to his perfectly defined lips and back to his eyes, barely thinking about consequences.

Maybe it was because he knew how Daniel felt, and felt like he had to give him something after how he teased him over the past 16 hours.

Or maybe it was because Ian craved Mickey so badly and was willing to settle for second-best.

It’d also be considered a thank you, in a way.

Daniel furrowed his brows noticing Ian’s sudden lustful stare, feeling butterflies arise as he tried to understand.

“Ian—”

“Shut up” Ian exhaled, leaning himself forward to press his lips to Daniel’s.

Daniel didn’t oblige for the moment, cupping his face as he held him close, their lips moving at a passionately slow speed, tongues tasting just slightly for a hint of what was to come.

Ian moved to straddle the man, pressing kisses down to his neck.

That was when Daniel sighed, and not from pleasure, but from realization.

“Ian…” he tried to gain his attention, but Ian just ignored him, moving his lips back to Daniel’s mouth.

Daniel grabbed a hold of Ian’s jaw, slowing down the kiss as he gently pulled away. Ian fluttered his eyes open to look at the man with confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

Daniel licked his lip, still tasting Ian on them, but knew this wasn’t right.

“We don’t have to do this you know?”

Ian gave a pensive look, unable to comprehend.

“But I-I want to” Ian tried to persuade him, but he just wasn’t buying it.

“Oh, cariño” Daniel sighed, stroking Ian’s cheek softly

Ian stared into Daniel’s eyes, not knowing what to expect.

“You know, you don’t have to sleep with every gay—or in my case, bisexual guy that shows interest in you, right?”

Ian looked down, suddenly overcome by sadness, unable to find a response.

“Ian, last night you told me about your old life before your diagnosis and what it did to you. You then told me you have no real friends besides Mickey’s sister and your own family” Daniel paused, “You deserve good friends, Ian, and lots of them. I want to be that person for you”

Ian just gave Daniel a sad smile before embracing him in a hug. Daniel wrapped his arms around Ian and squeezed him slightly in order to comfort him.

“Thank you” Ian breathed before pulling away, sitting back on the couch.

“It’s okay” Daniel assured, placing a hand on his back, “Besides, don’t you love Mickey?”

“yeah, I do” Ian scoffed, “But he wants better than me. He has better than me” he sighed

Daniel frowned as Ian pulled out his pack of cigarettes, feeling annoyed that the pack was empty. He must’ve gone through them last night during his binge drinking session.

He was never going to get drunk on wine ever again.

“I don’t believe that” Daniel stated, Ian turned to look at him with a raised brow.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s unrealistic” He told Ian honestly, “humans have flaws and André has never been the perfect man you think he is. Mickey just needs some convincing”

“Yeah but he won’t listen”

“Doesn’t matter” Daniel grinned, “you don’t need to use your words to convince him. That new tattoo on your hip is more than enough to convince Mickey into thinking you might just be in it for the long haul this time…As if the past few months haven’t proved that enough”

Ian laughed at that, making Daniel smile.

“True” Ian agreed, “If I can’t tell him, I guess I have to show him”

“Atta boy!” Daniel grinned, squeezing his shoulder, “And remember what I told you” he winked

“Scope the house. Got it” Ian nodded, just as his phone began to ring.

The phone vibrated furiously and Ian instantly grabbed for it, answering and holding it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi” Mickey spoke bluntly, “Are you able to cover my shift tonight?”

“What? Mick—no” Ian furrowed, worried about how Mickey’s voice sounded on the other side of the phone.

“Kay” he scoffed, “see you”

He hung up before Ian had the chance to say goodbye, leaving Ian in a state is worry and disbelief.

“What the fuck was that about?” he muttered to himself, peeling the phone away from his ear.

“Mickey?” Daniel wondered

“Yeah” Ian sighed, “He sounded upset”

“Why? Because you’re with me?”

Ian shook his head “No, that can’t be it. It has to be something else”

Daniel just nodded, understanding as he stood up.

“Guess I better take you home then?”

“Yeah” Ian cleared his throat as he slid his phone into his pocket, “I better go”

 

When Daniel pulled up at the home Ian’s stomach churned from either worry or motion-sickness, either way something told him he had to be here.

Maybe Mickey was fine, but after Ian realized he had to keep showing he cared and keep fighting for Mickey, he knew he had to be here for him. He had to make sure that where he lived, was actually as safe as he deemed it to be.

Ian walked in the door, a ghostly feeling washing over him as he didn’t find Chico at the door. He brooded intensely, closing the front door behind him to find Mickey sitting in the living area no one ever sat in.

He approached with caution, hoping Mickey was okay.

“Hey…” Ian greeted softly.

Mickey turned to look at him briefly before turning back to face the fireplace that wasn’t even lit.

“Hey”

“Where’s Chico?” Ian asked, just to help Mickey ease a little bit.

“Out for a walk with André” he told him simply, his fingers squeezing onto the neck of the beer bottle he held just a bit too hard.

“Are you okay?” Ian questioned

“You were out late” Mickey commented, ignoring the question, “still in the same clothes I see” he continued to observe.

“We didn’t do anything” Ian assured Mickey, not raising his voice, “I got drunk and crashed on his couch. After seeing me at my worst I don’t think he likes me anymore” Ian laughed slightly to bring lightness to the gloominess surrounding the man he loved.

Mickey just nodded and Ian realized that mustn’t be what’s upset him.

“How was your night?” Ian wondered with genuine care in his tone

“Fine” Mickey instantly responded, swigging back his beer.

“Okay…” Ian sighed, “well I’m going to hit the shower” he proposed.

Mickey sat there, staring as he heard Ian’s footsteps slowly creep away and go up the stairs.

He looked back at where Ian stood and sniffed, trying to think of ways to cheer himself up and avoid any more conversation about Valentine’s Day.

A day Mickey so badly wanted to forget.

 

When Ian got out of the shower and was dressed in his lazy clothes, he made his way down the stairs, excited to find a happy brown Labrador wagging his tail at the bottom.

“Chico!” He beamed, running down the steps to meet with his best friend.

The dog jumped up on Ian who patted him ferociously, kissing his forehead to say hello.

“I missed you so much!” He told him happily, “Did you have a nice walk?”

Chico hopped down and barked at Ian playfully before running down the hall.

“¡Oye, tonto!” André’s voice spoke loudly as Ian followed down the hall, “Chill out!”

Ian entered the living area and noticed André pulling a tray out of the oven, raising his eyebrow curiously.

“Hey André” Ian greeted, walking over.

The flowers Daniel had gotten him still sat in a vase on the counter, making Ian smile as he felt one of the soft, velvety petals.

“Oh, Ian!” He chimed as he turned around to place the tray on a chopping board, “no wonder the dog got excited”

“Yeah” Ian laughed slightly awkwardly in response, looking at the hot tray from the oven to see crisp and golden pastries, “What are those?” he wondered.

“Empanadas! My mom made them for the family last night. The fried ones are cheese and the others are meat”

“Oh, Cool!”  Ian responded with actual excitement, he felt far better now and was honestly starving.

André just smiled as he pulled three plates out of the cupboard, which quickly reminded Ian that Mickey couldn’t work tonight.

“Where’s Mickey?” he wondered without hesitation

“backyard” was André’s simple reply, making Ian furrow his brows, “Would you mind going out there and telling him dinner is ready?”

“Sure” Ian shrugged, making his way to the back door which he slid open and closed behind him.

Ian couldn’t find him close by so he made his way towards the pool area and there he was, sitting crossed-legged on the ledge of the pool with an almost finished cigarette between his lips, just looking up at the stars.

Ian couldn’t help but find it beautiful in a way.

He chewed his lip as he approached the Milkovich cautiously, knowing he was out here for more than just a cigarette.

Mickey heard Ian’s footsteps and looked up at him as he got closer.

“Hey, dinners ready” Ian told him softly

Mickey took a deep breath and put out his cigarette against the concrete

“Okay” he muttered, getting up from the ground.

Ian met with his eyes as he stood, the light from the house showing the sadness, stress and worry in Mickey’s features that were so well hidden underneath the dark sky and the waxing moon.

Mickey could see the meaningful look in Ian’s eyes, even with the minimal light surrounding him. He had to look away, he just had to, and he made his way towards the door.

“Mickey…” Ian began

“What do you want, Gallagher?” Mickey shot back, turning around

Ian turned to look at him, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Fuck—get off my fucking ass I’m just tired, okay?” 

They just stared for a moment as Mickey tried to relax the anger in his bones, just shaking his head and going inside.

Ian didn’t want to believe him but knew he had to at least pretend that he did, faking a relaxed smile as he headed back in with Mickey.

 

Ian sat at the counter and continued to observe Mickey’s emotions as they ate their dinner.

The empanadas were incredible, that was undeniable, but it wasn’t good enough to distract him from his worries over Mickey and what the hell could’ve happened to make him become this way in the 20 odd hours he wasn’t paying attention.

André didn’t seem to notice Mickey’s mood, or chose to ignore it, boasting on about just how good Chilean-made empanadas were compared to the rest of Latin-America.

Mickey pretended to seem interested and upbeat, but Ian couldn’t help but notice how distant he really was. André pulled out all of his affectionate moves and Mickey was totally disinterested, just leaning into them like he _had_ to.

André scoffed down his last empanada and put the plate in the sink as he continued to speak nonsense, as if he were filling up empty air.

Empty air Ian needed to breath in order to put up with this bullshit.

“So how was last night with Daniel, Ian?” He asked, turning around to wrap his arms around Mickey who hardly touched his second empanada.

“Fine” Ian swallowed, “Got drunk, passed out. What about you guys?”

Mickey stared blankly as André responded. Of course, that look was what concerned Ian the most.

“We had a great time! Didn’t we, mi amor?” André asked Mickey to confirm, smiling down at him.

“Uh huh” Mickey smiled back up at him, “best night ever”

André grinned and pressed a kiss to Mickey’s lips, Ian watching without feeling any discomfort because he knew there was something really wrong here.

Mickey pushed André off with a sigh and put his and Ian’s plates into the sink, “I think it’s time for fuckin’ bed” he mumbled to himself.

Ian leaned his elbows on the counter, watching how André was more interested in his phone than his own clearly depressed boyfriend.

“You comin’ or what, princess?” Mickey turned to ask André, “Or would you rather sleep next to your phone tonight?”

“What?” André looked up from his screen and quickly put his phone away, “I can’t, have shit to do”

Ian watched Mickey’s face sink even more somehow, “Oh, alright. That’s cool, I get the whole bed to myself then”

André smirked and Mickey smiled back even though it was fake. He placed his hand on Mickey’s jawline and embraced him in a soft kiss that Ian still felt inclined to watch.

Mickey pulled away and his fake smile was still spread across his face.

“Te amo” André told him simply,

“Te Amo” was Mickey’s simple reply.

André pulled away and headed towards the door, “bye Ian!”

Ian waved, “bye”

The second the door closed behind him and Mickey let out a deep sigh.

“We’ll I’m fucked. Headin’ to bed” Mickey excused himself, “You’re alright by yourself, yeah?”

“Of course” Ian smiled, “I was thinking of heading to bed too”

“Cool” Mickey nodded, making his way out of the room without a goodbye

“Goodnight Mickey!” Ian yelled out

“Goodnight, fire-crotch!” he yelled back

Ian chuckled softly to himself. It had been a while seen Mickey had called him that.

 

By 2am Ian was still wide awake despite how tired he was starting to feel. He sat propped up in his bed shirtless, rubbing the lotion Daniel kindly gave him to use over his fresh tattoo.

He still couldn’t believe he got Mickey’s name tattooed on his body, and it just looked so beautiful on Ian’s skin despite the twangs of pain that came every now and then. It was something he’d have with him _forever_ , and he liked that.

Ian kind of wanted to show Mickey, but was worried what the reaction would be. Honestly, he’d probably find it hilarious that a sarcastic conversation was turned into a reality.

But explaining it to André, yeah. That would be harder.

In saying that, André still wasn’t home. It had been hours and Ian hadn’t heard anyone pull up the driveway of this quiet, peaceful house.

That’s when an idea struck.

_“—André isn’t the person you think he is”_

It was the only thing Ian could really remember from last night.

_“You should scope out some of the rooms in the house when you’re alone. It might make some of the things I’m saying make sense”_

It was one hell of an idea that made Ian both nervous and intrigued.

He jumped out of his bed and put his shirt back on just in case Mickey was still awake and heard him roaming the place. Ian wasn’t ready for Mickey to find out about the tattoo just yet.

Stepping to the door carefully, he quietly opened the door and closed it behind him.

Ian looked at the white doors that stood in the hallway and knew one of them had to have whatever André was possibly hiding from the two American’s that lived with him.

He just stood and thought for a minute. He had spent time in almost every room but one;

_André’s office._

It was the only logical place Ian could possibly find something, and he had no idea when André would be home so he had to act, and fast.

Ian tip-toed over to the door of André’s office, cringing any time the floorboards beneath him creaked.

He reached for the handle and noticed there was a light shining under the door, as if André had left his computer on.

The door opened and Ian swiftly got inside to close it, standing corrected by the desktop computer that lit up the room.

He wasn’t sure where to start, he could only see so much when the only source of light he had was from the computer.

Ian squinted as he focused on the filing cabinets along the back wall and crept over, pulling them open to get a fright at how loud they were.

His jaw nearly dropped at the sight of hundreds of files with labels reading _‘Mantenimiento del cliente’_ with the financial year dates next to them.

Ian pulled out the most recent file and closed the filing cabinet before moving to the nice mahogany desk where he sat on André’s swivel chair, shaking the mouse to light up the computer more to spread a brighter light across the room as he opened the file he pulled out.

His eyes squinted again as he tried to read the writing but the bright blue-tone of the light, plus it all being in Spanish didn’t really help Ian figure it out.

Most people have files like this also in a digital format just in case, and maybe there was one?

That’s when Ian brought his eyes to the screen that asked;

_Contraseña:_

Ian assumed that meant password and rested his head on his palm as he tried to think it could possibly be.

_Mickey?_

He typed

_Contraseña: ******_

_Inténtalo de Nuevo_

“Shit” Ian breathed as the password bar shook as if to say _‘Ha, ha. Nope!’_

He went through numerous other passwords that included things he knew about André, like his birthday, cars, Chico and even tried something like _‘imahotdumbmexicanletmein’_

That one was just because of Ian’s frustration, though.

He noticed the words _¿insinuación?_ And _¿olvidó?_ Underneath the bar now and swallowed his pride.

Ian had to take his chance, pressing one he hoped would help him enter whatever computer system he used.

_Insinuación: mepsandas4791_

_mepsandas?_

That’s what it hit Ian, his heart beating harder with hopes it would work as he types in;

_empanadas4791_

_Contraseña: ************1_

Suddenly, it logged in and Ian nearly jumped out of his chair at his victory, but that victory soon overwhelmed him as different things popped up among the desktop screen.

One corner showed a tracker sort of things with multiple green dots heading to red dots, another being a special email system, and then one in the middle reading;

_‘Mantenimiento del cliente eléctrico’_

It said pretty much the same as the paper file did, but it asked for a password which Ian easily accessed because André wasn’t smart enough to have different passwords for things.

Then it loaded, a list of names with a column next to them saying _‘estado’_ which followed with similar words that were either red, green or black next to the names. Ian opened a file in red, opening it.

All he could see were a lot of numbers on the screen in different columns, but they were lacking. The numbers towards the bottom of the list were red.

No matter the language, red typically didn’t mean a good thing.

Then Ian saw a red word in English at the bottom that stood out from the words he didn’t understand.

WANTED

_Shit_

Ian’s eyes widened, piecing it together. The red numbers meant how much money is owed by someone who won’t pay up.

Someone…a dealer, maybe?

Then what did the others mean?

Ian got out of that and clicked on the different profiles, finding out the meanings for each one.

Green: PAID

Red: WANTED

Black: KILLED

Ian’s jaw dropped as he felt a sudden shiver down his spine.

André was a hit-man?

André _is_ a hit-man.

Ian went back into the profiles, scrolling down to see if he could find Mickey’s name, but couldn’t.

That was when Ian felt his throat tighten when he saw…

GALLAGHER, IAN

It was written on the screen with an amber colored question mark in the column next to it.

That made Ian start to panic even more; What the fuck did an amber question mark mean!?

Suddenly, a message popped up in the center of the screen which didn’t help Ian’s heart palpitations, but he took deep breaths, reading the message.

_André_

_Bien hecho en el viaje a México con Daniel, pero ahora Marco está en la mierda gracias al error de Daniel! Arreglar esto ahora!_

_Chingate,_

_Antonio Fuentes_

A devilish grin spread across Ian’s face despite the thumping in his chest, he was onto something. He could only read the names, but he knew exactly what it meant.

André was a part of Antonio’s gang, just like Daniel, and judging by his contact list—just like his papí, too.

The Fuentes family were criminals, and nothing about that would be considered safe to Mickey.

Daniel may have lied a little when he said their families had nothing to do with one another, but Ian assumed it was all for the sake of keeping himself and Ian safe.

This was unbelievable.

André wasn’t as safe as Mickey thought he was, and everything Ian had done for the sake of getting Mickey back was starting to taste so, so sweet on his once bitter tongue.

But was the fight over? Not quite yet.

“¡Tranquilo!” a loud voice came from the down the hallway, “estoy en ello…¡Sí!”

_FUCK_

Ian went into overdrive, grabbing the file and closing the computer down as fast as possible.

He was sure if he got caught he would be dead. He didn’t even know what an amber question mark meant!

Ian crawled under the desk and pulled his knees to his chest, just in time for the door that swung open.

“Shit! Puedes decirle a Antonio que lo hare” André spoke as he turned the light on, making his way to the cupboard that was right next to the desk Ian sat under.

Ian was holding his breath so tightly he was positive he would pass out.

“Look, cabron, It’s not my fault you dumped las drogas with Marco to go on tu estúpida cita with Ian”

He was on the phone to Daniel?

Ian let his breathing even a little bit, not making any sudden movements.

André opened what Ian heard to be a safe, full of god knows what.

“Yeah, all that just for him not to like you back” André scoffed, “Primo, I love you, but you’re the biggest pendejo I know…yes you will give me back the money…chao”

Ian listened to André sigh and let out some Spanish profanities, watching his feet as he rapidly left the room, slamming the door but leaving the lights on.

For a moment, Ian just held onto his breath, breathing so lightly as he waited what felt like forever to hear the front door close, André unlocking his car to go bail out Marco.

Once he heard the car speed off, Ian felt instant relief.

He crawled out from under the desk and quickly but carefully put the file back.

Ian honestly couldn’t believe all of this information was easily accessible for Mickey but Mickey never bat an eyelid.

Mickey trusts André, and that was the thing that made Ian feel most horrible about this situation.

After putting the file back, he curiously wandered to the cupboard Daniel had been rummaging in, opening it with a smirk because André being the idiot he is, left the safe open.

Ian crouched down and opened the heavy door, his eyes widening at the sight of something overwhelming.

It was like Ian was in Antonio’s bunker again. It was filled with cash, weapons and drugs.

All of this just sat in this safe and Mickey had no idea.

If André ever got caught for this shit and Mickey was here—Mickey would never get out of prison.

The rescue complex within Ian wanted to get Mickey away from this ASAP.

He wasn’t sure how he would convince Mickey yet, but he knew he had to use actions instead of words.

 

Ian made sure to leave the room exactly as André left it and carefully crept back into his bedroom.

He removed his shirt and sunk back into the bed, lying down and facing away from the door. His eyes wide open.

His mind felt so clouded by everything yet nothing.

He wasn’t even sure how he was meant to sleep knowing the love of his life might be in more danger than anyone could possibly handle.

Even for Mickey, this was too much.

* * *

 

A door slammed and Mickey jolted awake, unsure of what was happening. He looked around his dark room and decided it must’ve just been a bad dream, sighing as he closed his eyes, trying to fall back asleep.

Then, his bedroom door flew open and André came thumping in.

“What the fuck?” Mickey croaked, squinting at the bright doorway where his boyfriend stood.

“Hey” André spoke, breathing heavily as he came and crouched down next to Mickey by the bed.

Mickey propped himself up and cleared his tear ducts

“What’s going on?”

“I just thought I’d come in to say I have to go out for a bit okay?”

“huh?” Mickey couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, looking to the duffle André had by his side, “You were already out?”

“I-I know, amor” André sighed, “but shits come up at work and dad needs me”

Mickey just stared as his sight adjusted onto his dark brown eyes, what else could he say?

“Okay”

André smiled softly and pressed a kiss against Mickey’s forehead.

“Just so you don’t worry, I’ll text when I’m on the way home, Okay? Keep la cama warm for me”

Mickey nodded at his apologetic smile and allowed him to kiss his lips softly before he quickly ran out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

Aggravated and wide awake, Mickey rolled onto his back and groaned, annoyed that his beauty sleep was disturbed.

The front door closed and Mickey continued to stare at the roof with wide eyes.

He was beginning to wonder how much longer he could put up with this—with André.

Mickey was sure he knew him but after being with Ian again and then with Valentine’s Day, he just wasn't sure anymore. Then you follow that with his sudden closure and always being in and out of the house claiming it’s for ‘ _work,'_ it just upset Mickey on so many levels.

All he wanted was to be with Ian, but it wasn’t that easy, and he hated that.

Mickey swore he heard another door close but ignored it. He was sure Ian was asleep.

Asleep in a huge bed, lonely. Just like Mickey.

He sighed and sat up, rubbing at his face as he tried to stop his mind from thinking this way, but he couldn’t.

He felt lonely, worried and heartbroken.

All he wanted to do was cuddle up to Ian.

Mickey stared at his open door that let in so much light into his once dark peaceful space and let out a deep sigh. He had to turn the lights off anyway.

“Fuck it” he muttered, reaching for his phone and getting out of bed.

 

Mickey switched the lights off that he only kept on for André before making his way down the hall towards Ian’s room, his phone flashlight guiding him along the way.

He froze, turning his head to the left when he noticed André’s office light were still on from under the door, so he walked over to that door first—partly to delay himself and opened the door to quickly turn the light off before closing the door again.

Mickey turned around now, looking over at Ian’s door and took a deep breath. He felt like a little kid wanting to jump in bed with his parents after a bad dream.

Although, that experience was one Mickey never really went through, since his dad would tell him to grow the fuck up literally any time he tried.

The raven-haired man hesitantly approached the door handle, twisting slowly as he made his way inside.

“Ian?” He whispered, closing the door behind him just as slowly.

Mickey embraced the dark serenity of the room, his flashlight shining a path to where Ian lay, turning to face the door; to face Mickey.

“Mickey?” his voice pitched with disbelief.

“Are you awake?” Mickey wondered, making his way towards the bed.

Ian laughed, “obviously, what’s up?”

“I-I can’t fucking sleep” he admitted, “mind if I hang with you?”

Ian instantly sat up, pulling the covers up to hide his tattoo.

“Of course not” he told him, switching the lamp on, revealing both of their shirtless bodies.

Mickey found comfort in the warm lighting surrounding them now and switched his flashlight off, crawling beneath the sheets Ian held up on the vacant side of the bed.

Ian watched Mickey’s face as he sat next to him, recognizing his deep thoughtful stare as he placed his phone on the bedside table beside him.

The thoughts of what Ian found out only moments ago were haunting his mind, but he couldn’t tell Mickey. At least not yet, not when he clearly has other shit going on.

“Why can’t you sleep?” Ian asked, genuinely concerned

“I was asleep” he told him, raising his brow as if it were funny, “then André came home just to annoy me and say he’s going back to ‘ _work’_ ”

Ian nodded, knowing what _‘work’_ really meant, but responded casually, “asshole”

Mickey had to laugh at that, “Yeah”

Ian smiled softly, wanting to just reach out and hold him but decided it was best to wait. He had no idea what Mickey wanted from him, but wanted to be here in any way he could.

“So, when are you going to explain to me what you’re so upset about?” Ian grinned, despite the serious topic.

Mickey smirked at Ian which slowly sunk into something far sadder.

“Just had a _really_ fucking shitty Valentine’s Day”

“How?” Ian wondered, sinking back down into the bed slightly and looking up at him, “talk to me”

Mickey watched the redhead next to him and bit his lip, sinking down to meet with Ian’s stare.

“We went out, right? Well” he paused, “after our food came, he dumped me—”

Ian’s heart jumped and his eyes widened, but was quickly met with the rest of the sentence.

“—at the restaurant with all this food and couples surrounding me with a romantic fucking view he wouldn’t shut up about the whole car ride there. And guess what his excuse was?”

Ian rolled his eyes, “work?”

“Work” Mickey confirmed with a nod, before sighing, “he just left me there, all alone on fuckin’ Valentine’s Day, I had to use whatever was in my pocket to pay for the dinner too so I had hardly any cash to get a cab home”

“Shit, Mick” Ian muttered, his eyes glued to Mickey as he spoke.

“That’s not even the worst part” he seemed to promise, “I walked out of the place after I tried to eat but I felt so fucking shitty I just couldn’t do it, plus I was worried about y—Anyway, I walked down the road and I saw his black BMW out the front of another restaurant”

Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s and squeezed gently, Mickey took a deep breath at the comfort they both were suddenly experiencing.

“I’m so sorry” Ian’s voice merely came out a whisper.

Mickey smiled sadly at their hands holding as he finished the story.

“I saw him rubbing up some random dude as they went inside the place, too. Everything in me wanted to just run in there and freaking punch both of them but it was too fucking risky” he let out a shaky sigh, “I ended up walking home from there, I was lucky it was only about 20 minutes away”

Ian tried so hard not to get angry, rubbing circles on Mickey’s hand with his thumb.

“Mickey, you should’ve called me”

Mickey shook his head and sniffed, moving onto his side where he played with Ian’s hand. Ian tried to fight the butterflies fluttering within him.

“You were busy and this shit shouldn’t be your problem, man”

Ian pursed his lips, knowing it was better not to respond. He admired the way Mickey’s pale blue eyes just looked at each of Ian’s fingers as if he hadn’t ever seen them before.

“I’m so fuckin’ scared, Ian…” he huffed, keeping his eyes on the freckled hand whilst Ian stared at him pensively.

“Why?”

“Because” Mickey sniffed, trying not to let the emotions get the best of him, “because I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. Not like he used to”

Ian could feel his eyes sting at how hurt Mickey seemed, because here Ian was wanting to fight the whole entire world just to have him forever whilst André took him for granted.

He took a deep breath as he hesitated the only question running in his mind, “Do you love him?”

Mickey shrugged, “Dunno. Doesn’t fucking matter, I’m just so scared of him leaving me. I can’t really risk the life I have now. Without him I’ll be fucked”

Ian bit his lip, trying to keep his thoughts from coming out of his mouth.

Because this life wasn’t safe, and he had to somehow prove that to Mickey with actions rather than words, but Ian couldn’t help but slip out one more question.

“What are you doing here then, with me?” he wondered in a soft tone, not expecting a great answer.

Mickey propped himself onto Ian’s chest, the two staring lovingly into each other’s eyes without even noticing because it was just so natural for them—The intensity was building throughout the both of them already, as if they needed each other to fucking function.

“Because the second I saw him with another man I knew he couldn’t give two shits about me” Mickey told him honestly, “Not if he leaves me hanging on the one _fucking_ day where you’re supposed to be with the one you love and I…I care about you, Ian, and I know you care about me”

Ian smiled slightly, running his fingers up and down Mickey’s back.

“Yeah, I do” he confirmed, pressing a soft kiss to Mickey’s forehead.

Mickey smiled softly and as Ian pulled away he couldn’t help but lean up to feel Ian’s lips on his own.

Ian instantly sunk into it as if he were in a trance, tracing his jawline as their lips moved in slow passionate motions, just for the sake of making out and nothing more. There was no hunger between them, just what was probably known as love.

The time between the last time they hooked up and now wasn’t as long as the year they had spent apart but it still felt the same. They still missed each other.

Mickey moved himself to get closer, their tongues entwining as he straddled Ian’s hips.

Ian suddenly winced, forgetting about the tattoo that now had Mickey’s knee digging into it.

Mickey pulled away almost instantly, lifting himself off to look but Ian quickly covered the tattoo with his hand.

“What are you in pain for? I was nowhere near your dick!” Mickey piped

“N-Nothing” Ian responded, keeping his hand in place, “just, come here” he breathed, grabbing onto Mickey’s nape with his other hand to pull his lips back onto his own.

Ian tried so hard to ignore the sudden tender pain he had, kissing Mickey lightly but Mickey pulled away again.

“What the fuck are you doing with your hand?” he wondered, pointing to the awkward hand covering the tattoo.

“Just holdin’ it there” Ian told him casually.

“Oh bullshit” Mickey scoffed, “Nobodies hand stays in that awkward position, and typically both of your hands would be on my fucking ass by now”

Ian felt his face flush just slightly, but it was true.

“What are you hiding from me, Gallagher?” Mickey became stern, smirking only the slightest.

Ian hesitated for a moment, looking at his pelvis where Mickey’s name was stuck to for eternity.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” he asked Mickey who shifted his eyes, wondering how it could possibly be funny.

“Yes—Fuck, I promise, okay?” he told him, looking him right in the eye, “now show me”

Ian couldn’t help but smile at how excited, curious and happy Mickey was, and slowly took his hand away to reveal _Mickey_ written along his pelvis.

He watched Mickey as he made contact with it, a wide smile stretching across his face as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Holy shit!”

Ian chuckled, “Yep, I did it. I was drunk and clearly thinking about you”

Mickey met with Ian’s eyes to share a meaningful smile before laughing just a little bit.

“I can’t believe you did that, though. It wasn’t a serious conversation”

“I know!” Ian laughed, “I’m shocked, too”

Mickey pushed down the bed sheets to crawl down to Ian’s abdomen so he could meet with the tattoo.

“What are you doing?” Ian wondered with continuous laughter.

He felt like a pregnant lady that had her husband speak to her stomach so the baby in her womb could bond with its father. It was just a really odd feeling to have and made him slightly uncomfortable.

Mickey carefully traced the letters on Ian’s skin, assessing the bumpy texture and how tender it was.

“Wow, it’s fuckin’ real” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“Yeah, Mick” Ian huffed, “it’s not going anywhere anytime soon”

The fugitive let out a slight laugh before saying, “I wish I could make a joke saying ‘Mickey’ is spelt with two K’s but nah, it’s perfect” he grinned, looking up at Ian.

Ian laughed at the irony, “Alright, now get back up here you’re making me uncomfortable”

Mickey smirked and made his way back up Ian’s body where Ian got a hold of his jaw to pull him right back in, the two sharing a soft and meaningful kiss before slowly pulling away.

“What does this mean, now?” Ian had to wonder, “is this just a one night only thing?”

“I don’t know” Mickey told him honestly, “clearly staying away from each other doesn’t work”

“Clearly” Ian breathed, biting his lip.

“Look, we’ll just call it uh…” Mickey made a motion with his hands trying to find the words, “Like a fucking work in progress or some shit”

 _So, back to being a secret?_ Ian thought, but knew it wasn’t worth saying because he knew in order for this household to stay somewhat healthy, that’s what they’d have to be.

A secret.

“sounds great” Ian laughed with a slight sarcastic tone that of _course_ Mickey picked up, but didn’t act on it, instead they shared one more kiss.

Mickey pulled away sunk back down to lay his head upon Ian’s chest, just listening to his heartbeat as Ian’s fingers traced along the curves of Mickey’s body.

 “You won’t believe this but I miss home…Chicago” Mickey admitted with a slight smile, “I've missed home a lot in the last few weeks but for some reason, I feel fine now”

Ian smiled, stroking Mickey’s hair softly as they just lay together, content with one another’s company.

“Yeah…” Ian mumbled, “I know what you mean”

Mickey felt overwhelmed with comfort and safety, not wanting to move from the hold he had on the man who tattooed his name onto his body.

“Fuck, I missed you” Mickey almost whispered, just enjoying the natural soft scent Ian had and the way his fingers were tracing his body.

“I bet I missed you more” Ian replied softly with a smirk, pressing a kiss to his head.

“Don’t be a prick” Mickey grinned, looking up at him now, “or I’ll slap that tattoo of yours right off”

Ian just smirked mischievously replying with a simple, “Fine”

Mickey smirked in return and lay back onto Ian's chest, closing his eyes as he just embraced the moment, and Ian did too, just holding Mickey close and loving the sensation of his bare skin on his own.

Until those thoughts of what he _found out,_ andwhat he _witnessed_ , were all coming back to haunt his fucked-up mind.

He had no idea what this meant for Mickey, or for himself. But he had to fix it.

He needed Mickey to be safe, and a real type of safe, not this fake type that Mickey’s been led to believe.

It honestly terrified Ian, not knowing what would come next for either of them.

He just hoped that luck would be on their side just this _once_ so Ian and Mickey could be together the way they were supposed to be.


	16. Chapter 16

In the early hours of the morning where the sun was moments away from rising, a soft vibration came from the bedside table. Despite the softness of the tone; it woke Mickey instantly.

His eyes slammed open like doors from the panic in his chest. He had accidentally fallen asleep with Ian’s body limply cocooning around him like a protection barrier.

Mickey felt so warm and comforted, hoping the buzzing of his phone was just his imagination. All he wanted to do was shut his eyes and allow sleep to take over his mind but he couldn’t, not if André was close to home.

A sigh left his lips as he carefully reached for the phone, squinting at the screen that lit up the entire room. The text simply read;

_‘be home soon my love, I promise I’ll make it up to you x’_

Mickey had to bite back the barking laugh that nearly crept out his throat, not wanting to wake the angelic red head that sheltered him.

He wasn’t sure if he could forgive his _ever-lovable_ boyfriend for what he did and Mickey could feel himself falling out of what he thought was love quicker than he ever thought possible. Maybe that was because he never managed to let Ian go, and Ian put Mickey first before anyone else, just like Mickey would do in return. Unlike André, who always put André first.

What Mickey and Ian shared was mutual, but he wasn’t sure what he shared with André anymore. André was the illusion, the barrier over the barrier, the skin that formed around the flesh that was Ian and Mickey—a cover up, the _‘beard’_ if you will. Mickey isn’t sure if what they have is real anymore, either way, that love was disintegrating.

All he really shared with André now was trust, but even that was slowly peeling away.

Mickey grabbed the wrist of the arm that circled around him, carefully lifting it as he sat up. His eyes sunk almost instantly, as if he were so tired any major movements would cause him to collapse. He placed Ian’s hand down carefully and looked at what he could see of his face—the gentlest silhouette he ever had the privilege of loving.

He couldn’t help but run his fingers slowly through Ian’s soft locks, finding it so unreal that hair this red was humanly possible, which led him to wonder how _any_ of this was possible.

The tired man lifted himself from the soft warm mattress and was braced by cold empty air as he tip-toed his way out of the room.

The second he walked out the door, all he wanted to do was turn back around and slip back into bed with him.

Mickey sluggishly made his way to his bedroom, not wanting to step through the door that was just cracked open slightly, darkness wishing for him to enter.

He walked in and closed the door behind him, recognizing his favorite dog’s head pop up from the bed under the dim light that shined from outside. It was as if Chico were happy someone was finally here to cuddle him.

“Hey Chico” Mickey greeted with a smile, patting his head as he walked over to his side of the bed.

Just the sensation of the cool sheets wrapping his body made him uncomfortable, nothing about this room felt right to him now. All he could smell was André’s Hugo Boss cologne that lurked the air obnoxiously. Mickey never realized just how strong that scent was until now.

Chico stood up and moved closer to Mickey on the bed, laying back down right next to him. It made Mickey smile, the sensation of soft fur under his fingertips as he slowly petted the back of the best dog he’s ever had.

Mickey felt a bit better having a companion here with him as he fought back his discomfort, he rolled onto his side and continued to pat Chico as his eyes slowly shut, ready for rest again.

Chico quickly licked Mickey’s face as if to say ‘goodnight,’ to which Mickey screwed his face up. He could never get Chico to stop from giving kisses like this, but he didn’t mind.

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too” he muttered, sighing as he slowly fell into his deep sleep from earlier.

 

“¡Bajar! Get down!” a voice whispered harshly, causing Mickey to stir from his sleep.

He furrowed his brows, not wanting to open his eyes as he heard the dog that still laid beside him whimper as he got pulled off the bed.

“What’re you doing?” Mickey groaned with frustration at the sensation of empty air beside him.

“He wouldn’t get off the bed!” André complained as he slipped beneath the covers

Mickey sighed, still not opening his eyes, “You should’ve just left him”

“Why? I want to snuggle up to mi mejor novio” he whispered

Mickey could feel the warmth of his body come closer and all he wanted to do was roll away, but his bones were far too exhausted to do so.

André wrapped his arms around Mickey, pulling him close to press a kiss to his chest. Mickey just smiled at first, wrapping an arm lazily over him as he hoped to get some real sleep.

That was when Mickey felt a prodding against his leg and he grunted in disgust, finally opening his eyes to the room that was far brighter now than when he originally fell asleep.

“Fuck off with that!” Mickey told him, pushing himself away, “Christ, put some fucking clothes on.” he groaned.

André furrowed his brows, unable to understand why Mickey was being annoyed and distant.

“Why won’t you let me make it up to you? I know I fucked up the other night but c’mon” he sighed, looking into Mickey’s eyes so sympathetically it made Mickey feel sick.

_He wasn’t even sorry._

Mickey just stared at the brunet in his bed, not knowing how to respond to that with without causing an argument.

He hesitated, making an excuse, “I’m tired”

André pouted, “never stopped you before”

Mickey just rolled his eyes and rolled over so he was facing away from him, snuggling up on his side of the bed, still hoping to get some rest.

Then André slipped his way around Mickey, attempting to cocoon around him in the same way Ian did but it just felt so slimy and wrong. Mickey just accepted it, ignored it and listened to how he purred in his ear.

“I’ll take you out tomorrow night, how ‘bout that?” his hot breath whispered against his ear, Mickey nearly squirmed beneath him.

“Whatever, André” he mumbled with a sigh

“André? What happened to Andy?”

_Exactly. What happened to Andy, the one I thought I knew?_

Then again, it’s not like Mickey hasn’t changed in the past few months either.

Mickey exhaled, gritting his teeth as he spoke.

“Goodnight. Andy”

André smiled, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s shoulder as he sunk down to sleep.

“Goodnight”

 

* * *

 

Ian's freckled hands stretched as he woke, feeling for someone he swore was there when he fell asleep hours ago, but there was nothing but an empty space where Mickey was supposed to be.

A frown met his face as he opened his eyes to make sure Mickey had left. He could just feel his heart beginning to sink knowing it was true, his fingers gripping into the indented sheets were Mickey once lay wishing he could just spend a few hours with him here in his bed.

He assumed Mickey not being here either meant Mickey had changed his mind or André had come home, he hoped for the latter. Not that he blames Mickey, after all André is a lying, murdering hit-man who isn’t the person he or Mickey thought he was, but Mickey had no idea who the man that slept next to him was…yet

Honestly, Ian was kind of scared to find out how André would react to Ian and Mickey’s romance. Especially since Ian’s name had an amber question mark next to it with no true explanation behind it.

Ian tried to shake the thoughts for now since he had no clue how to approach this or who to turn to. He knew he’d have to talk to someone about it eventually since he didn’t want to leave Mickey living in this lie for too much longer.

Sometimes, Ian would wonder what the point even was in him waiting around for what seemed like nothing and to risk so much for someone, but after last night he knew he had to stick around for Mickey. You can’t just fake the kind of love they share, you just can’t.

And who knows what could happen to Mickey if Ian leaves.

 

After doing his morning routine, taking his meds and applying lotion to his tattoo, Ian got dressed and made his way out of his room hesitantly. He was so scared of what was to come that butterflies of both love and fear circled inside of him, but he just had to face this head on.

He exited his room and made his way down the hallway, taking deep breaths as he prepared to face another day where he was ignored and sat there watching André and Mickey practically eat their food off one another.

Just as he got to the upstairs living area he froze, watching Mickey step out of his room with what seemed like the same amount of hesitation.

Ian almost gaped at the beauty, his skin was clear and his lips looked so soft and pink as always.

Mickey caught his eyes with Ian’s and froze, admiring how nice he looked for 10am.

“Good morning” Ian finally spoke with a soft tone, Mickey smiled and closed the door behind him.

“Mornin’”

“Guess you eventually got to sleep?” Ian assumed with a laugh

“Yeah” Mickey smirked slightly, “I would’ve stuck around last night but…”

“Oh don’t worry, I get it” Ian smiled, trying to assure him.

Mickey smiled slightly before huffing, “We’re 20-somethin’s and here we are acting like girls”

Ian laughed and shook his head, even though it was true before making his way down the stairs.

“Come on, Mick”

Mickey smirked and made his way down the stairs behind Ian, loving how light-weight he felt around him.

Ian stopped mid-way and allowed Mickey to go in front so he could place his hand on Mickey’s back for the rest of the way down.

“So, how will this work?” Ian murmured

“Just act cool” Mickey told him, “Which I know you’re really bad at so just, try. Alright?”

Ian rolled his eyes as they hit the bottom of the stairs where he took his hand off Mickey’s back as a precaution.

“Alright”

They walked into the kitchen where André stood, sipping his coffee as he flipped through a newspaper which straight away raised alarm bells for Ian—Who the fuck buys newspapers anymore?

Was he trying to find a story about last night in there?

“What the fuck are you reading a newspaper for?” Mickey asked, clearly wondering the same thing as Ian.

André huffed, “Good morning to you too, darling”

Mickey half-smiled and made his way to the kitchen cupboards with Ian close behind, pulling out two mugs whilst Ian pulled out two cereal bowls.

“Frosted Flakes?” Ian asked Mickey who nodded.

“Fuck yeah, throw some banana in there while you’re at it” he told him as he started the kettle.

“Right, because that balances out the sugar”

Mickey flipped him off and Ian laughed, the both of them preparing their breakfast, moving around each other like a synchronized swimming act, not once faulting as they worked together perfectly to get food into their stomachs as soon as possible.

They partially blamed that on the fact they work together in a bar, though.

André muttered something under his breath in Spanish before looking up from his paper at Ian and Mickey who sat at the counter with their coffee and cereal, Ian chopping up half a banana into each of their bowls.

“God, it’s like having two wives living here” He scoffed, throwing the paper down.

Ian smirked as he blew at his hot coffee. That’s when he realized that André hadn’t seen what they were like when they were _really together_ since whenever André was around they pretended to hate one another.

“Whatever, give me the leche” Mickey told, rather than asked.

André pursed his lips and opened the fridge, grabbing the milk and placing it in front of the Americans. Mickey picked it up before Ian had the chance and opened it, pouring the milk over both of their cereals.

“Did I miss something?” André questioned, observing how Ian and Mickey were suddenly getting along.

Ian shifted his eyes and looked at Mickey who froze for a second before shrugging.

“Don’t know what the fuck you’re on about” Mickey responded, spooning cereal into his mouth.

Clearly neither of them were good at _acting cool_.

“Find anything good in there?” Ian wondered casually, nodding to the newspaper that was on the counter.

“Thought it’d be a good idea to buy a newspaper” André told them, accent thick, “but it’s all just bullshit. Drug-cartel drama, Trump and so on” he sighed, “it’s not exactly news”

“Uh huh” Ian noted, picking the food out of his teeth with his tongue.

André sighed and continued to drink his coffee, leaning against the countertop as he pulled his phone out, clearly disinterested as Ian and Mickey ate their cereal in silence. They were both waiting for André to leave so they could just hang out without worrying about what he could witness.

Mickey grabbed the newspaper and placed it next to his cereal bowl, flicking through it curiously.

André looked over at him and Ian watched how anxious his eyes seemed, as if he were scared Mickey would see something that could reveal his secret. It was kind of funny to Ian, before finding out his secret he would’ve thought deeply into what possibly make André react this way.

But now he knew, and he could see how cowardly André really was, even with blood on his hands.

Ian bit his lip, deciding to fill this awkward silence.

“what are you looking for?” Ian asked Mickey, finishing his sugary cereal.

“Dunno” Mickey sighed, “can’t read half of this shit”

He closed the newspaper in the aggressive way he did most things and finished off his cereal in time with Ian who instantly stood up, grabbing his bowl and Mickey’s to take over to the sink.

“I gotta head out to work for a few hours” André suddenly informed the household, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

Ian turned to face Mickey from the sink and could see the look on his face saying;

_Of course you do._

But all that slipped out of his lips was, “Alright”

André quickly slapped Ian’s shoulder goodbye and made his way over to Mickey, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before saying goodbye to Chico who slept on the couch.

“See you later!” he called out, and the lovers said their goodbyes to the criminal, just waiting for the door to slam.

Ian washed his hands and dried them off with the dish towel, turning to face Mickey as the door finally closed.

Mickey scratched at his head for a moment before noticing Ian’s eyes on him, the way he looked at him made Mickey incapable of removing the smile that always shined when Ian looked at him.

“So” Ian began, a flirtatious grin spreading his face, “What now?”

Mickey shrugged and got up from the chair, making his way around towards Ian.

“Dunno, we could go for a swim…” he teased, approaching him slowly.

“Oh yeah?” Ian smirked, fiddling with the dish towel in his hands.

“Uh huh, or…” Mickey paused, tongue in cheek as he stopped in his tracks, “you can fuck me in every room of the house,” he shrugged, “up to you”

“Well,” Ian swallowed the lump of anticipation that bubbled up his throat with excitement,   
“I like that idea”

Mickey smirked as Ian threw the dishtowel onto the counter.

_They could start with the kitchen._

Mickey charged towards Ian, slamming their lips together. Ian clasped into Mickey’s soft black hair as they kissed fast and passionate, just begging for more as Mickey’s strong hands pulled him in by the shirt, their tongues devouring the coffee-flavored bliss.

Ian moved his hands to Mickey’s waist, pushing him against the counter they usually ate at as he pressed hot kisses against his neck, lifting the tank top Mickey wore off.

Mickey allowed him to remove his top before pressing his lips back to Ian’s, pushing him backwards into the fridge where magnets that held up photos, bills and notes went tumbling to the floor, the two of them continuing their heavy make out. Ian’s hands slid into his boxers to get a hold on Mickey’s soft ass, pulling him somehow closer.

They grinded against one another like wild animals, Mickey pulling up Ian’s shirt which Ian was more than happy to remove, loving the tingle Mickey created when he touched his bare skin.

Ian pushed Mickey towards the sink where they started their make out, biting Mickey’s soft pink bottom lip teasingly as he pulled his belt off so fast it made a whipping noise that made Mickey’s heart jump.

_It almost gave him an idea…_

_Maybe for another time._

They shared one more kiss before Ian gripped Mickey by the hips and pushed him up, Mickey helping as he hopped onto the counter right by the sink, their tongues continuing to twine, touch and tease as Mickey pushed down Ian’s jeans.

“Lube?” Ian breathed against Mickey’s lips that pressed to his again.

Mickey fumbled for the drawer by the sink as Ian eased into another meaningful kiss, pulling at the elastic around Mickey’s boxers.

“Here” Mickey told him breathlessly, pulling out a brand new tube of lube from the drawer.

Ian tried not to think too far into why the lube was so easily accessible and took it off him, pressing his lips back to Mickey’s as he put the tube down for the time being so he could pull down Mickey’s boxers.

Their tongues battled, deep inhales and exhales escaping the both of them as they got into the heavy rhythm of things, like magnets moving in unison. Mickey began pushing at Ian’s boxers with his legs, wanting to get to the point as his fingers entwined in his fiery ginger hair.

Ian reached the tube of lubricant, keeping himself in this moment with Mickey as he squeezed the lube onto his fingers, lifting Mickey from behind the knees to pull him closer.

He spread the cool gel over Mickey’s hole, teasingly running circles to warm the lube up as their tongues moved at the same speed, a pleading wince escaping Mickey’s lips.

As good as ass play sounded, Mickey just wasn’t in the mood.

Ian smirked, pulling his lips away, “do you want me to stop?”

“No” Mickey breathed in a raspy tone, “I want you to get it over with and _fuck_ me”

Ian just chuckled, feeling the exact same amount of greed inside of him, too. He leaned into Mickey for another kiss, pulling his fingers away from Mickey so he could squeeze some more lube onto his fingers but Mickey stopped him, taking the tube off him.

“Take down your pants” Mickey muttered, to which Ian did without a second thought, shutting his eyes at the sensation of the cool gel slicking over his length, slowly warming as Mickey pumped his length longingly.

“Shit…” Ian exhaled, caressing Mickey’s back as he watched Mickey’s hand moved in a way that drove him insane. Mickey met with Ian’s eyes, shining a devilish grin his way.

_God, only Mickey could drive him this wild._

“Closer…” Mickey whispered and Ian did instantly, almost as if he were in a trance.

The two shared a loving kiss as Mickey rested one hand on Ian’s shoulder and positioned himself, pulling away to watch Ian’s hungry eyes as he sunk himself onto Ian’s length with ease, a pleasurable exhale leaving his lips as Ian pressed his forehead to Mickey’s.

Ian grabbed a hold of Mickey’s hips, working in and out at a hard yet slow pace, Mickey whimpered as he reached the right spot with ease, rolling his hips as the agonizing pleasure ran through him.

 

They picked up the pace rather quickly as if they were the chorus of a song, grunts and moans leaving both of them as Ian moved harder and faster, Mickey arching his back as he leaned against the window, the blinds crinkling with disagreement.

“Fuck!” Mickey muttered, feeling the tap of the sink press hard into his back, he quickly grabbed it and twisted the tap to face another direction, finally being able to enjoy the way Ian worked into him.

Ian panted through his laughter, pressing kisses up Mickey’s chest and to his neck, grabbing onto Mickey’s back to hold him in place as he thrusted at an almost perfect wave of sensation; Mickey’s head smacking over and over into the window that would probably break if Ian ever managed to reach superhuman speeds.

Mickey gasped as Ian found the right spot and hit it over and over, wrapping his arms tightly around Ian’s shoulders, his nails scratching along his back like a chalkboard as he cried out, the pleasure almost becoming unbearable.

Ian gave it to him _good_ and _hard_ and he _fucking loved it._

He swore he was going to come untouched.

Mickey moved Ian so he could sit up to ease the tension growing in his muscles, rolling his hips as he rode against Ian’s flawless movements.

Ian looked at Mickey as if he were his entire world, dominating him and taking in every single sound of agreement he made. It was incredible, the feeling of being this close to Mickey still felt as good as it did all those years ago.

Their lips made their way back to each other, sharing a sloppy kiss as Ian wrapped Mickey’s legs around his hips, muffled moans exiting Mickey as Ian continued to work into him.

Ian twisted them around as if they could defy gravity, sitting Mickey up on the counter they ate at, continuing their make out as they moved together in time.

Mickey pulled from the kiss so he could breathe, their eyes staring into each other like two oceans crashing and melting together in the middle of the sea, Mickey’s lips trembled as he gave Ian a pained look full of pleasure. He was so close.

That was when Ian pulled out teasingly, causing Mickey to sigh with frustration.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” he panted

Ian smirked and thrusted back in, making Mickey throw his head back, “Shit!”

A dark chuckle came from Ian as he did this once more, dragging his tongue softly along Mickey’s salty skin, moving agonizingly slow.

“You wanna finish?” Ian whispered in his ear, Mickey panted, unable to find the words, a soft hum coming from his lips.

Ian giggled, moving his hands to Mickey’s hips so he could pull Mickey deeper onto him. He thrusted hard and fast, as if nothing mattered except for Mickey and his delicious orgasm.

Mickey threw himself down onto the counter as he yelped at the pleasure, his shoulder knocking the crystal vase filled with roses Daniel gave Ian off the table. Ian continued his fast hard pace until they both heard a smash on the ground, followed by a bark from Chico at the noise—as if he easily slept through the noise the two men in the kitchen were making.

“Oh Shit!” Ian cried out, slowing down instantly.

“Who gives a fucking shit!” Mickey pleaded, “don’t fucking stop”

Ian felt his stomach bubble at the excitement, a bright smile spreading across his face as the both laughed from the euphoric feeling that filled them both. Ian picked up the pace again, holding Mickey close to his body. Each thrust was slowly causing Mickey to fall off the countertop but they didn’t care less.

Mickey’s fingers couldn’t let go of Ian’s hair, his whimpers getting more intense as he was so, so close, the way Ian’s teeth bit into Mickey’s collarbone not helping the sensation he was feeling.

The grunts from both men escalated to a point where Mickey was hyperventilating. He felt a wave overcome him as he orgasmed, releasing his load untouched—which was so rare for him but it had been so long since he got this kind of release he just couldn’t help it.

“S-Stop” he breathed pleadingly, his legs shaking as Ian grabbed a hold of his length, oozing out whatever was left of the orgasm.

Luckily, Ian was close and pulled out, now grabbing his own length as he worked himself fast, still holding Mickey as close as they could possibly be. Mickey cupped his face to make him focus on his deep pale blue eyes and how they looked into his.

That look alone was enough to make him explode.

He panted and bit his lip, before confiding in Mickey’s lips, Mickey instantly taking control as his tongue merged with Ian’s, flicking his hand off his length so he could finish him off.

Ian squinted, gripping into Mickey’s ass as he tried to keep control of the motion of his lips instead of gasping like there was no air entering his lungs, but in only a few swift movements Ian released, throwing his head back as he cried out.

The two came down from what might just be on their top 10 list of best sexual encounters, Mickey pressing soft kisses against Ian’s neck as he slowed his hand down to an eventual stop.

Mickey and Ian looked at each other with a smile, laughing at how flustered they were before resting their foreheads together.

Ian was so in-fucking-love with Mickey, everything about him. How he looks, tastes, smells, feels and sounds like.

Everything. He loved everything about him and in this daze of love and lust all Ian wanted to say was those words that were the reason he managed to make it here, but he couldn’t. It were as if he suddenly choked and couldn’t speak. There was probably a reason for that.

“Alright” Mickey sighed, carefully standing up, holding onto Ian as his legs shook only slightly, as if he were a baby deer trying to take his first steps.

Ian smiled as he helped, reaching for the Kleenex to clean up the mess they had made.

 

They got back into their boxers and walked around to where they heard the smash come from, Ian instantly felt guilt sink into his consciousness.

“Oh fuck” he muttered at the sight.

The (probably very expensive) crystal vase had split in two, the roses soaked in the puddle of water, looking sad and unlively on the floorboards.

Mickey patted his shoulder as if to say _well done_ before leaning down to grab the large pieces of well-architected crystal.

“It’s fine” Mickey told him, “just go get the broom”

Ian pursed his lips and walked towards the fridge to grab the broom that hid beside it. He couldn’t help but smile at the fallen magnets, bills and photos on the ground as it reminded him of what he was still coming down from.

He really hoped this time would be it for them, no more fucking around.

All he wanted was a place to call home with Mickey where they had a successful future and it was photos of them lying on the floor after passionate sex, not pictures of Mickey and his _boyfriend_

Ian picked the items from the floor and stuck them back onto the dark silver fridge as Mickey came around—broken glass and dead roses in hand.

Mickey dumped them in the bin and Ian couldn’t help but wonder.

“How are you going to explain that to André?”

“Dunno” he scoffed, “not sure he’ll care to be honest”

Ian grabbed the broom as Mickey grabbed the dishtowel to soak up the water.

“Why won’t he care?” he continued to question

Mickey just looked at Ian as if that were a stupid question before going back to the scene of the crime.

Ian just scratched at his head, following Mickey.

“I bet you he won’t even notice or ask if we’re fucking” Mickey spoke confidentially, “he won’t even notice it’s gone”

“Guess so” Ian replied, sweeping up the remainders of leaves, petals and any bits of glass that were spread across the floor.

Mickey picked up the soaked towel with a distasteful look as he carried it over to the sink.

“So” Ian tried to spark up conversation, “you came without me touching you? That hasn’t happened since we were teens” he smirked, looking at Mickey who stared at him, unamused.

“What can I fuckin’ say? I haven’t had sex in a while” he confessed, squeezing the water out of the dishtowel.

“Really?” Ian stopped what he was doing, smiling at that thought.

“Relax, asshole. I’ve had sex…just not _great_ sex”

“Wow, didn’t know André was so selfish he wouldn’t let you finish” Ian grinned, making his way to the fridge to put the broom away.

Mickey had to laugh at that, “You’re acting like I wanted to finish”

“Hmm” Ian bit his lip, checking out Mickey’s glowing body, “how about we go for a round 2, then?”

“Fuck no, man” he chuckled, turning to Ian as he wiped his hands on his boxers to dry them, “my cocks still throbbing from 15 mins ago”

Ian just shrugged it off and grabbed the dustpan, “That’s fine then”

“Hey,” Mickey walked over to him, placing his hand on Ian’s cheek, “I’ll sneak in later tonight, okay?”

A rush overcame Ian which was quickly covered by fear. He kept his eyes on Mickey.

“What about André?” he wondered

Mickey scoffed, moving his hand, “I don’t give two shits about him, he probably won’t be home anyway”

“ _work_ , huh?” Ian smirked

“Yep” Mickey grinned, leaning up to press his lips to Ian’s.

They shared a soft tender kiss before moving away so they could finish cleaning the mess they had made.

 

After sharing a cigarette or two, the lovers spent some time on the couch watching TV, Ian laying his head on Mickey’s lap, almost purring like a cat at how nice Mickey’s fingers felt stroking his bright hair.

“This is an English show and I still can’t understand anything” Ian huffed, commenting on Kitchen Nightmares that was dubbed over with Spanish.

Mickey looked down at Ian as if he didn’t hear him correctly, “What? You know they have people speaking Spanish over it, right?”

“Hmm?” Ian looked up at Mickey, realizing what he had said “Oh, yeah I know. Just never thought I’d be wanting subtitles for a show I usually can watch in my sleep”

Mickey laughed softly as Ian grabbed one of his hands. Mickey smiled at the touch and entwined their fingers, pressing a kiss to the back of Ian’s hands.

“It’s not funny” Ian tried to claim, despite the smile on his face.

“No, it’s hilarious” Mickey grinned, running circles with his thumb on Ian’s hand.

This was so peaceful for both of them, it felt like all those times in the past where they’d hang out on lazy days and just watch TV, talking about dumb shit that wouldn’t interest anyone but Ian and Mickey.

Mickey knew he still loved Ian, and he was more than positive that he _always_ will, but nothing in his head was letting him deal with this in an effective way because frankly; Mickey was terrified.

He wasn’t sure if he was terrified of what André’s reaction would be, despite how deep down in his gut he knew there was a storm brewing.

He was more terrified at the thought of taking the risk, getting over the border and going home just to be thrown back in prison and have Ian forget about him. Again.

That’s why he didn’t think about the consequences or anything surrounding the beautiful mess they always managed to create for themselves. He focused on right now, and how lucky he was to have Ian here with him after thinking he would never get to hold him like this ever again.

“They talk so fast I can’t even try to understand it” Ian whined, sitting up, “I’m going to go get drink from the fridge”

“Alright” Mickey mumbled, just keeping his eyes on Ian

“want one?”

“Yeah, just a water” he replied with a smile before turning his head to face the TV, recognizing the bookshelf next to it with something he wanted to give to Ian, “Oh yeah, that reminds me” Mickey began, standing up.

Ian closed the fridge, placing the bottles of water on the counter, “What?”

Mickey grabbed a book from the bookshelf, making his way over.

“André gave me this but I don’t use it” he told him, placing the book on the counter.

Ian tried to read what it said upside down before picking it up, smiling only the slightest at the book which had a couple sipping cocktails on the cover.

“ _‘Latin American Spanish. Phrase book and dictionary’_ ” Ian read in a smug voice before looking at Mickey, “What do you want me to do with it?”

“You were interested in learning, so you can use it” he told him

“Oh!” Ian piped, flipping through the book vaguely, “Thanks, don’t you use it?” he wondered

“Nah” Mickey shook his head, grabbing his bottle of water, “I know what I need to know”

“Oh, cool!” Ian smiled, placing it down so he could open his bottle of water.

Mickey sipped his water, looking out the glass windows to the bright blue and sunny day they were having.

“It’s nice out, should we go out there?”

Ian shifted his eyes, unable to comprehend, “what for?”

“I don’t know” Mickey scoffed, “fuckin’—eat lunch or somethin’, then go for a swim in the pool”

Ian went tight lipped, knowing the issue with that.

“Can’t swim with the tattoo or spend too long in the sun”

Mickey gave Ian an annoyed look, “then _I_ will go for a swim in the pool and you can sit in the shade learning fucking Spanish”

“Alright then. Sounds good” Ian smiled, sipping his water before placing it down, “let’s go get changed”

 

In moments the pair walked down the stairs in their board shorts, Ian wearing a t-shirt for extra protection. They got straight to business as they did for breakfast, working together to make their lunches.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just sandwiches and some potato chips, but it was enough.

They sat at the outdoor dining setting, enjoying the sun on their skin (yes, Ian remembered to apply sunscreen this time) and just talked about anything and everything from work, old memories and inside jokes only they would understand.

Ian felt so lame looking so average with a baggy t-shirt on whilst Mickey glowed in the sun, his toned bare-chest with Ray-Ban sunglasses shading his eyes. Ian felt like he looked so ugly squinting at Mickey the way he was. He had no idea how he managed to have someone as gorgeous as Mickey in his life.

After eating, Mickey had a cigarette, throwing a tennis ball for Chico to chase and as soon as Chico brought the ball back, Mickey would just throw it again.

It was really quite relaxing outside, the sound of the waves crashing into shore plus the warmth in the air just made Ian want to lay on a lounge-chair with a piña colada and be as relaxed as the couple who were on the cover of the _Latin American Spanish_  book.

He grabbed the book he brought outside with him and flipped through it.

“Spanish confuses me” Ian conversed “First, you have the gender thing, then you have a million different ways of saying you, me, us, them, he, she” Ian let out a sigh, “how the hell am I mean to learn this on my own?”

“Tell me about it” Mickey huffed, bringing his cigarette to his lips, “I couldn’t handle it, I just ended up learning what I needed to” he told Ian, inhaling nicotine into his lungs.

“Yeah, I might just be on the same boat” Ian chuckled, flipping further into the book.

“Maybe André can help you” Mickey suggested, making Ian laugh.

“Uh, okay, sure” Ian responded with a hint of sarcasm.

“Fuck you!” Mickey chuckled, “just an option”

Chico came back with the ball and Mickey threw it far away again, finishing off his cigarette.

“Speaking of,” Ian began “I noticed you have condoms in your drawer”

Mickey nearly choked on the smoke, “When? From when we fucked a month ago?”

“Yeah” Ian awkwardly responded

Mickey furrowed his brows, “Kay, then what the fuck are you tryin’ to get at, Gallagher?”

“Nothin’” Ian shrugged, “just, you never make me use them”

“Because I trust you” Mickey told him honestly, “You think I’m going to trust a guy who fucks half the population of Mexico? No-fucking-way”

Ian huffed as if it were funny, thinking; _That’s one way to put it._

There were plenty of reasons for Mickey not to trust André, they just had to be discovered.

“Anyway, I got tested and I’m clean” Mickey told him, grabbing the ball from Chico’s mouth mindlessly before throwing it again, “André suggested we do it after I flipped my shit finding out how many people he’s been with”

“Yikes” Ian muttered before clearing his throat, “But yeah, I get it. I’m clean too, if you were wondering”

“Wasn’t” Mickey smirked slightly, putting out the nub that was left of his cigarette in the ashtray.

Ian looked down to the book, chuckling at one of the things he found, quickly changing the subject.

“Guess what this means” he began, trying to pronounce it, “Tengo…una...infección...vaginal”

Mickey let out a loud laugh, the sentence was more than obvious, “You have a vaginal infection?”

“Well done!” Ian beamed with a smile on his face before closing the book, “that’s all I needed to know, really”

Mickey couldn’t help his laughter and shook his head, “you’re such a dick”

Ian smirked, watching how Chico came charging back but Mickey was clearly over it.

“Aren’t you over it yet?” he asked the dog who wagged his tail so happily.

“Clearly not” Ian responded with a chuckle, Mickey shook his head and stood up.

“How about we go for a swim now?” He suggested to the dog who just stared up at him.

Mickey rolled his eyes, taking off his sunglasses to rest them on the table before he grabbed the ball from his mouth, throwing it once more, making a quick exit to the swimming pool.

Ian couldn’t help but get up and follow him, watching how Mickey confidently ran and bombed into the pool, splashing water everywhere.

He just had to laugh at the sight before watching Chico bolt down to jump in the pool, too.

Mickey bopped up with a deep breath, pushing his hair back and smiling at the dog who was paddling over to him.

Ian smiled and grabbed Mickey’s sunglasses, placing them on himself as he walked down the pool where Mickey held Chico to his chest like a baby.

“What do you think?” Ian chuckled, raising his eyebrows at Mickey.

Mickey looked up at Ian and couldn’t help but smile, “just adorable” he grinned, suddenly distracted by the dog that wanted to paddle away.

Ian smiled and took off the glasses, folding them up to place it on the collar of his shirt. He didn’t really need them because of the palm trees nearby that managed to block the sun.

He helped himself to a seat by the ledge of the pool, sticking his legs into the cool refreshing water as he watched Mickey make his way over to him.

“Thought you couldn’t swim?” Ian suddenly remarked, watching how at-ease Mickey seemed.

“I can’t, but I can float and this pool isn’t deep” Mickey pointed out, grabbing a hold of Ian’s knees as he stood up in the pool.

Ian laughed softly and looked down at Mickey with a look of complete love, even if he didn’t notice it. Mickey could just feel himself being consumed by this man he cared about so deeply.

“You good there?” Mickey wondered, trying to break the magnetism between them.

“Yeah, Mick” Ian smiled, “I’m just…”

He paused, leaving Mickey wondering.

“Just what?”

“Thankful” Ian told him, looking away from his eyes.

Mickey felt his heart melt only the slightest, pressing a kiss to his knee before looking back up at Ian.

“That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard” he said with a wide smile, “But yeah, I’m thankful too”

Ian smiled, having a laugh at that because it definitely _was not_ the gayest thing the pair had said to each other in the last 24 hours.

Ian placed his hands on Mickey’s jaw, leaning down to share a kiss to which Mickey instantly leaned up, standing on his tippy-toes so their lips could touch.

They kissed like this for a moment, soft and slow, delicately tasting each other as Mickey ran his wet fingers along Ian’s jaw, just wishing to pull him closer.

A loud ringtone rung abruptly, interrupting the soft moment they shared together.

“Shit” Ian muttered as he pulled away, reaching for the phone that vibrated in his pocket.

Mickey huffed, kicking himself off from the wall of the pool to float around some more.

Ian answered the phone before even checking the contact, holding the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” His sister Fiona’s voice spoke excitedly, “How Cali?”

_Shit._

Ian had almost forgotten about the lies he left back home.

“H-Hey! It’s good!” was all Ian managed to get out.

“That’s good, what are you up to?”

He watched how Mickey was happily floating around before grabbing Chico and pressing a kiss to the wet-dogs head.

“Uh, just relaxing by the pool with some friends” He told her.

Chico moved away from Mickey and quickly made his way out of the pool to run back inside as if he had something better to do.

“Fuck you too, then!” Mickey scoffed

Ian really hoped Fiona didn’t hear that

“Really?” Fiona’s voice sparked, “Well your friend from work—I think his name is _Jason_ —came by today to see how you were feeling”

Ian could feel everything in his body stop working, his skin turning hot from panic rather than the warmth in the air. He let the first lie he could think of leave his lips.

“He…He wasn’t invited”

Ian could hear his heartbeat in his throat, hoping Fiona wouldn’t figure it out.

“So you lied to him?”

“I-I—” Ian choked, catching Mickey’s eyes that looked at him with concern.

“Lucky for you, I went along with it. Said you were sleeping and not in the best mood. He left you a card and a packet of smokes he apparently owed you”

Ian could feel his stricken heartbeat ease just the slightest.

“Okay…thanks” he sighed, “You can have the smokes if you like”

“That’s fine, Ian. It just worried me, that’s all” she spoke, Ian could hear her smile in her voice.

He kind of missed home and the Gallagher chaos.

She continued, “You’re okay right, taking your meds and stuff?”

“ _Yes, Fiona_ ” Ian replied like a teenager with an attitude problem

“Fiona?” Mickey muttered under his breath, “Jesus”

“Good! We miss you, you know?” Fiona told Ian, “After having you be head of the household for two years these kids don’t know how to be without you”

Ian smiled at that, “I miss you guys, too. Tell them I said hi, okay?”

“I will. I have to go get Liam from school now anyway. He’s doing really well, top of his class” she informed Ian proudly, and Ian couldn’t help but smile proudly.

Liam Gallagher, the odd little brown boy in a house of pale degenerates was shining—beaming, even after suffering from an accidental overdose when he three years old that could’ve lead to intellectual decline.

Ian had hope for the little Gallagher, and everything he was capable of.

“That’s amazing!” Ian responded, Fiona laughed lightly with happiness.

“I know”

Ian smiled before looking at Mickey who was making his way over to him again.

“Look, Fi. I have to go, alright?”

“Okay…” she suddenly sounded sad, “When are you coming home?”

Ian locked his eyes on Mickey’s curious eyes, hesitating because he had no clue when he would get back to Chicago.

“…soon” he told her, “real soon”

Fiona sighed, “Alright, well don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Of course” Ian smiled, “bye”

“Bye”

Ian hung up the phone, exhaling a deep breath he had held back for who knows how long.

“Fiona, huh?” Mickey stated, leaning his arms on the edge of the pool.

“Yeah, they miss me” Ian laughed, a tone of sadness in his voice as he put the phone away.

 Mickey looked down at the concrete he rested his arms upon, feeling dismay overwhelm him as he noticed the reality.

“Guess you have to head home eventually, right?” he spoke with hesitation.

He really didn’t want Ian to leave him behind again, but knew he was stuck here and Ian had a life back in Chicago.

Maybe this paradise was just another prison after all.

“Yeah…” Ian sighed, looking down at Mickey.

Mickey looked up at him and they shared a smile that reflected this bittersweet moment.

“¡Oye Mickey!” a loud rough voice came from above, instantly snapping the pair out of their utopia.

They both looked up, noticing André at the balcony of their master bedroom.

Ian was kind of bewildered. How long had he been home for?

“What!?” Mickey shouted at the man.

“What are you doing!?” He shouted back, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

“I’m havin’ a fucking swim is that alright!?” He yelled back, Ian just stayed quiet and watched the couple argue.

“It is when I reserved a table for us tonight!” He told him, “I told you this morning I was taking you out for dinner!”

Mickey scoffed, shaking his head, “didn’t think you were serious after the other night” he muttered so lowly only Ian could hear.

Ian laughed under his breath, kicking him playfully, Mickey grinned.

“Come on!” André whined, “The place is an hour away, get in the shower!”

“An hour away?” he muttered, shaking his head as he yelled back. “Alright, I’m coming!”

Ian smirked, watching André walk away before getting up from the ledge, Mickey pushing himself up to get out of the pool, following Ian back up towards the door.

Ian reached for the towel Mickey brought outside, passing it to him.

“Thanks” he mumbled, grabbing it and drying himself off before wrapping it around his waist.

Ian unhooked the sunglasses on his shirt and placed them on Mickey’s head with a smile.

“I’ll pack up what’s out here. You go get ready”

“Okay” Mick smiled, making his way back inside, wanting to share a kiss goodbye but knew they couldn't risk it.

 

Ian wasn’t at all concerned about this ‘date.’ He knew what Mickey shared with him was more real than what he had with André, and if it was, Mickey wouldn’t want anything to do with Ian but here they were, acting as if André didn’t even exist half the time.

After packing everything up and even being kind enough to clean the kitchen and pack the dishwasher, he began to make his way out of the room, stopping in his tracks as he saw André stomping down like there was something troubling him.

Ian hoped he didn’t catch the kiss in the pool since he had no idea how long he had been home for, but he smiled kindly and greeted him politely.

“Hey, André!”

André smiled at him and Ian could just see how fake it was.

“Hola, what you been up to today?”

“Not much” Ian shrugged, making his way closer towards the hallway in hopes to make an exit as André made his way to the fridge.

“Cool, well do you wanna come over here for a minute?” he asked him as he pulled the fridge door open

Ian stopped creeping towards the hallway, turning to André as he felt his pulse quicken.

He hesitated, “What, why?”

André let a laugh escape his lips, “to see what you might like while we’re out, stupid”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, making his way over carefully.

“Oh, right. Sure”

Just as he got close enough André slammed the door closed, suddenly lunging for Ian’s throat, pushing him backwards.

Ian was so stunned he didn’t know how to fight it, grunting as his head hit the frame of the archway. He suddenly felt so disempowered, holding onto André’s strong arm as his dark, evil eyes stared into his as if he hated him.

“W-What the fuck!?” Ian managed to choke, trying to call for help, “M-Mick—”

André pulled out a pistol from the back of his jeans, whipping Ian with it to shut him up.

“You really think he will hear you? He just got in the shower!”

Ian looked at André distastefully, feeling the sting of the broken, bruised skin on his forehead. He was terrified. This man was somebody who killed people for a living, just a slight movement of his wrist could possibly paralyze Ian for life.

“What, do you want?” Ian breathed, shaking only the slightest.

“This look familiar to you?” he wondered, waving the pistol in front of his green eyes that were quickly glazed with tears.

It was Ian’s gun. The one Antonio had given to him on his mission. André must’ve gone into his room and found it since Ian had kept it in his duffle under the bed. Ian couldn’t really think over the one million profanities of fear circling his head right now.

“You think I don’t notice anything, tonto?” He continued, but Ian denied everything.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” he seemed promising, but André knew better.

“You went into my office, went through my files”

Ian’s eyes went wide. He probably could’ve easily fought back at this point, but it felt safer to just go along with it.

“Look I—”

“Shut up!” he shouted, letting go of his neck to hit the wall beside Ian’s head to frighten him, “I have footage, pendejo!”

Ian flinched, shutting his eyes tight as he heard the pistol click, ready to shoot. Dead silence filling the space between them as André slowly pressed the cold metal under Ian’s chin.

Ian inhaled sharply, his heart beating rapidly as he stood on what felt like the edge of the world.

“Did you tell him?” André wondered softly

Ian slowly crept his eyes open, remaining calm.

“What?” his voice came out a hoarse whisper

“Did you tell Mickey?” André asked again, harsher than before.

Ian shook his head slightly, “n-no. I don’t know why he’s upset with you if that’s what you’re wondering”

It may have been a lie, but it was better than the alternative.

André nodded, a sick smile spreading his face, “Good, because if I find out he knows…” he brought his lips to Ian’s ear as his voice slithered out between his grinding teeth.

“ _I promise I’ll put a bullet through your skull_ ”

Ian bit back the sob that was creeping up his throat. This was like the last time he was held at gunpoint but this felt far worse, the world was spinning and all Ian could think about was how Mickey wasn’t safe here and how he needed to escape this fucked up situation with him.

André chuckled delightfully, like the narcissistic criminal he truly was and pulled the gun away from Ian’s throat, disarming the weapon.

“Next time, when you have a gun in Mexico” André begun, grabbing Ian’s sweaty hands to place the gun inside them, “hide it better” he hissed, backing off Ian.

Ian just stared blankly, feeling cold sweats tremble his body as he stood there with this pistol in his hands and blood oozing down his face.

He had so many questions, emotions and fears running through him. His mind felt like it was going into overdrive to the point where Ian couldn’t even function. It felt as if he would collapse if he took one more step towards the hallway.

André walked away as if it were nothing, and here Ian stood thinking that if he fell asleep tonight, he might not wake up.

All he wanted to do was scream for mercy and take off with Mickey into the dark, scary night to a place of salvation where they truly belonged.


	17. Chapter 17

_Just Breathe_ , Ian told himself.

_In_ and _Out_. _In_ and _Out_. _In_ and _Out._

He had managed to make it to his room, one wobbly foot in front of another. He wasn’t sure why his mind was reacting the way it was. He always imagined he’d be much calmer in this type of a situation.

But here he was, gun still in hand as blood dried among his temple, pacing the diameter of his room.

_Back_ and _Forth_. _Back_ and _Forth_. _Back_ and Forth. Breathing. _In_ and _Out_. _In_ and _Out_. _In_ and _Out_.

He still couldn’t grasp what had happened, his mind was racing. André was more than a narcissistic criminal who killed people for not paying for their drugs. He was a straight up lunatic.

Ian was starting to fear he nor Mickey could get out of here alive. He needed to fix with his.

He needed to speak to someone, and he _definitely_ couldn’t confide in Mickey.

Ian paused in his steps, looking at the gun in his hand. He had to get his shit together.

Maybe not for himself, but definitely for Mickey.

He rushed to his bedside, pulling out the duffle that hid under his bed, placing the gun back inside before remembering something else.

There was a small zipped up pocket in this bag. It was well hidden and hid his secrets. If André was capable of finding the gun, who knew what else he could find.

Ian opened the pocket, sighing with relief that his money was still there, as well as the note he had written what felt like years ago now—that held the plan on how to get to Mickey and rescue him.

Like a Prince in Shining-Fucking-Amor.

Ian zipped up the bag completely, making his way over to the closet where he shoved it on the top shelf, closing the door immediately after. He wanted to go back to forgetting that bags existence, but something told him it would be one of the things keeping him up tonight.

He made his way into his bathroom, staring at the wound on his forehead in disgust.

Ian was beginning to regret not fighting back, but how could he possibly beat a strong 6’4 hit-man? It just wasn’t possible.

He turned on the faucet, wetting his hand and soaking the wound, inhaling sharply at the tender stinging sensation it brought.

It was so fucking ugly and would probably leave a dark bruise. He had no idea how he would explain this to Mickey.

He scrubbed at it with his hand, trying not to think of the pain as the blood circled its way down the drain. Ian was more than done with all this bullshit right now.

Grabbing a few sheets of toilet paper, Ian carefully dried off and removed any excess blood, flushing the tissue down the toilet before staring at himself. Lost and ashamed.

He wished he could fix this and act as if this were the perfect-fucking-holiday Mickey believed it to be.

Honestly, he wanted to go home. But he couldn’t do that without Mickey because then it wouldn’t be home, would it?

Ian took one more deep breath, hoping to slow the rapid heartbeat and thoughts that laced around his brain over and over in hopes to consume. He couldn’t let this get to him. He couldn’t let it bring him down and scare him away.

He had to stay.

Making his way out of the bathroom he found himself rather melancholic, staring at the bland white room that felt somehow cold. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself anymore.

A knock came at the door and Ian felt his heart thud in his chest as it opened.

“Hey I’m le—” Mickey suddenly paused, witnessing the distraught state Ian was in, a fresh wound among his forehead.

“H-Hey” Ian managed to squeeze out, faking a smile at the well dressed Milkovich.

“What the fuck happened to your head?” he began to wonder with worry, closing the door as he approached Ian.

Ian just shrugged, trying to find an excuse.

“Slipped” he cleared his throat, “hit my head on the dining table”

“Shit, well that was fucking dumb” Mickey smiled with sympathy before sighing, getting a hold of Ian’s face and moving his head so he could look at it, “are you okay?”

“Yeah” Ian told him, trying to smile

Mickey’s brows showed the worry in his mind, moving Ian’s head to look right down at him. Years ago, Ian would’ve been annoyed by how Mickey cared, but he was starting to love it now, since it assured him he was doing the right thing by being here.

“Are you sure? You don’t seem fuckin’ okay” Mickey continued

“I promise” Ian lied with a nod, “I’m just tired”

Mickey gave a tight smile, stroking his cheek only lightly, which felt so comforting to Ian right now. He tried to avoid the worry of having André catch them as Mickey leaned up towards him.

Ian placed his own hands among Mickey’s cheek as he leaned in, the two sharing a deep kiss. Ian inhaled sharply, just being able to feel Mickey’s intensity and how he didn’t want to leave.

They kissed a few more times, Ian wanting to continue Mickey’s need for him but Mickey sighed, pulling away.

“I have to go, ‘right?” Mickey told him softly, the two looking deep into one another’s eyes “I’ll be home later. Just text if you need me”

Ian shook his head slightly, “Mickey I’m fine” he tried to assure him, “Have a good night, and _try_ not to worry about me” he laughed softly

“Alright, asshole” Mickey grinned, moving his hands from Ian’s face, but Ian didn’t let him go, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

At first Mickey rolled his eyes, but he smiled at the affection as Ian pulled away.

“I—” Ian paused as his eyes reached Mickey’s, “I’ll miss you”

Mickey couldn’t help the light laughter of happiness that leapt out of him.

“I’ll miss you too…”

Ian smiled slightly at the bright smile on Mickey's face. They shared another quick kiss before whispering sweet goodbye’s to one another.

He watched the love of his life approach the door, looking back so they could share a smile before he made his way out.

“Come on, Mickey!” André’s loud voice came from downstairs.

“I’m coming! Jesus fuck—” Mickey shouted as he shut the door, leaving Ian standing there all alone.

He suddenly felt that sinking feeling again, knowing shit was about to get worse than it already was. He wasn’t sure he even felt safe here anymore, he couldn’t when he knows André is watching his every move like a cat hunting a mouse.

He couldn’t help but glance at each corner of the room, releasing a thankful sigh as he noticed there weren’t any cameras watching him.

Ian was starting to wish he never found out André’s dumbass secret, because then Ian wouldn’t be standing here paranoid and would be able to find out what to do with this empty feeling inside his head.

Fuck, he had no clue what to do.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, biting his lip as he contemplated calling the two people he could trust with this, but he didn’t want to dump this shit on them. They didn’t deserve it.

Just like Mickey never deserved to have a psychotic prick for a boyfriend, yet here he was, on a date with a man who murdered people for a living whilst Ian sat on his ass unable to save him.

“Fuck it” Ian muttered, pressing Lip’s name first.

He raised the phone to his ear, starting to pace the room once again.

_No Answer_

Ian hung up, tapping Mandy’s name and raising it to his ear, continuing to pace.

Someone had to pick up eventually.

_No Answer_

But Ian didn’t give in, continuing to ring the both of them over and over until someone answered.

Then, after ringing Mandy once more, she finally answered.

“Ian! What’s wrong?” her voice sounded pedantic with worry

“Jesus” Ian muttered, “stop having sex you animals” he joked to help her calm down

“Shut up shithead” she chuckled, “hang on, I’ll put you on speaker”

Ian waited, finally deciding to take a seat on his bed since the pacing was making the pain in his head worse.

“Hey Ian!” Lip called out, the sound of a lighter igniting following close behind.

“Hey” Ian smiled, “How have you guys been?”

“Good” they both responded in that childish _‘we’re up to no good’_ kind of way

Ian couldn’t help but smile at that. They sounded happy.

“Took Lip to meet some engineering dude, going to give him a job” Mandy informed

“Not a job” Lip corrected, “but a full-time internship, where I get paid”

“So…a job?” Ian laughed, “congrats! So, you don’t need that degree after all?”

“Apparently, or I’m just that good” he smirked before exhaling, “anyway, why’d you call?”

Ian hesitated, not sure if he wanted to ruin their good mood.

“Ian?” Mandy spoke, uneasy from the sound of silence, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s…Andy” He cleared his throat.

“What do you mean?”

“He works for the guy who got me here” he told them

“Daniel?” Lip wondered

“No, the other one. The lead guy”

“Shit” he muttered. The couple staying silent for a moment.

“He pistol-whipped me” Ian told them, feeling his chest tighten as he remembered the feeling of pure terror

“Wait, what?” Lip suddenly sounded defensive on the other side of the line.

“What the fuck did he do that for?” Mandy demanded to know.

Ian breathed deeply, “he found footage of me going through his files. That’s how I found out he worked for him. He’s some sort of hit-man that deals with the business side of it all”

“Fuck” Lip muttered

“Threatened to kill me if I told Mick—Mitch anything” Ian told them, quickly correcting himself

The two seemed completely bewildered on the other side of the line.

“I-I don’t know what to do” his voice slowly grew raspier, that fear climbing up his throat, “I want to get out of here but I can’t, not without him”

“There’s no way I’d let you leave without him” Mandy affirmed before expressing, “This is so fucked”

“Uh huh” Ian breathed shakily, “I don’t know what to do”

“You _do_ know what to do” Lip corrected him

Ian shifted his eyes, furrowing his brows, “I just said I didn’t?”

“But you do. Don’t play fucking dumb, Ian. You have to tell Mitch”

“Do you think he’ll believe me?” Ian spoke with doubt in his voice

Mandy interjected, “He has to, if not, he’ll figure it out once it’s too late”

Ian took another deep breath, trying to control the panic.

“If not, prove it to him” Lip told him, “get the files and show him yourself since he clearly trusts this dude way too much that. How can he just not question the stranger he lives with?”

Ian pursed his lips, “I can’t just show him, there’s obviously cameras in there”

“Never stopped you from fucking Kash when you worked at the Smash’n’Grabmyass”

“Shut up, asshole” Ian chuckled, rubbing at his uninjured eyebrow, “I’d rather forget about that”

“Look, hack into the system somehow, or get someone else like Daniel to get the location of the cameras so you can avoid them”

“ _OR_ ” Mandy began, “play nicey-nice with Andy. Suck up to him”

Ian nearly gagged at the thought, “Play nice with the guy who wants to kill me? That’s a good idea”

He was sarcastic, but Mandy ignored him.

“Yeah, he’s right” Lip commented, “it’s a bit much, especially if he’s trying to win back Andy’s boyfriend”

“Speaking of, we had sex in the kitchen this morning now I’m worried there’s cameras there” he laughed, even though it wasn’t funny.

“Wait, what?” Mandy seemed confused.

“Oh yeah, we’re kind of back together. He likes to call it a _Work in Progress_ ”

“Jesus” Lip mumbled, “sounds like High School all over again”

“It’s nothing like High School” Ian huffed, “Anyway, I’m getting there, I guess. He doesn’t seem that into Andy anymore”

“That’s great!” Mandy chimed, Lip spoke up.

“As for cameras, I’d check each room for them. I doubt he’d check them unless he really is big-fucking-brother”

“Ha” Ian reacted, “How can I even tell him? Andy literally said he would kill me”

“He won’t kill you. Mickey is smart, contrary to popular belief”

Ian heard a slap on the other side of the line and laughed, wanting to thank Mandy for that.

“What? It’s true, and who cares if I use his real name?” he sighed “Anyway, Ian. He is smart and would go about this the right way, you know he wouldn’t do anything to purposely put you in danger”

Ian smiled slightly at that, “yeah, you’re right. Thanks”

“Alright, now I know this shit can fuck with you so try not to think about it too much. Rest, sleep and take your meds when you’re supposed to”

“Jeez, thanks _mom_ ”

Lip let out a loud laugh, “mom would never tell you take your meds”

“…true” Ian laughed along, “but trust me, I’m good”

“Hmm” Lip replied, “Just take care”

“I will” Ian promised.

“Bye Ian! Love you!” Mandy yelled far from the phone

“Love you too, Mands” Ian chuckled.

“See you, man” Lip said

“Yep, see you” Ian smiled, just to be met with emptiness.

God, he missed home.

 

Ian went downstairs to make some dinner, hating each step he made against the cold, hard floor. He wasn’t even hungry, but put some pieces of bread into the toaster and grabbed the peanut from the cupboard.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from gazing to the spot where André had hit him, with no evidence remaining besides the scar Ian will probably have on his head.

Mandy was right, this was fucked. Beyond that, even. Completely and horrendously fucked. Ian was still kind of stuck on how to tell Mickey, despite the conversation.

He didn’t doubt Mickey, but Mickey did trust André and Ian had no idea what he would think if he found out. He might think Ian did this deliberately so he had no excuse but to come home, but it wasn’t an excuse. This was very, very real.

Ian looked back at the wall, moving his eyes to the corners of the room, scanning the entire roof and there was no proof of there being any cameras. So maybe their relationship would be safe, after all. For as long as they don’t have wild sex in André’s office.

Oh yeah, and if André never finds out about the tattoo.

Ian grabbed the toast that popped up quickly, throwing them onto his plate before reaching for the jar of peanut butter.

He understood why it could be an issue if André found out, because what Ian and Mickey had been doing wasn’t just a sex thing, it was a love thing. They had a past, and possibly a future.

Hell, André would probably kill Ian just for the sake that it’s Ian, no second thoughts on the emotions behind it.

Ian made his way into the theatre room with his peanut butter toast, switching on the light and sighing at how empty it felt in this big large house when no one was home, besides Chico who was distracted by his own dinner.

He decided to start a one-man movie marathon, putting on a ripped copy of Batman Begins.

Wow, André was as criminal as a criminal could get, really.

He ate about one and a half slices of his toast before deciding he wasn’t hungry and pulled the blanket that hung over the chair down to cover his legs and cold feet.

Chico came wondering in, his tail showing fondness towards Ian before jumping onto the couch to rest his head upon Ian’s lap.

Ian smiled, patting his head gently

“You like Batman, Chico?” he asked, expecting no reply, “Yeah, I like Batman too”

He sighed, his eyes looking back to the screen, more focused on his own thoughts.

“What am I going to do?” he asked the dog, but mostly himself, “I love your dad so much” he spoke before correcting, "Mickey, not Andy"

He looked down at the dog who looked up at him with sad puppy eyes as if he could read Ian’s emotions.

“I know, bud” he sighed again, patting his head, “if we ever get out of here, I’m taking you with us”

His eyes seemed to glisten at the idea, probably assuming it meant for a walk.

“André is mean to you, isn’t he? Like he is to me?”

With no response Ian just hummed, realizing how ridiculous he must look. He wrapped his arm around the dog, continuing to watch the movie.

 

About an hour passed before his phone rang, and Ian was snapped out of the distraction he was happy with as he grabbed his phone, answering.

“Hello?” he wondered, pausing the movie.

“Hey, it’s me. Daniel”

“Oh” Ian became suddenly alert, “Hi”

“Are you alright?” he asked “I heard André caught you”

“You heard, huh?” Ian scoffed

“Yeah, he saw me after seeing it and was pissed off, I tried to calm him but nothing worked”

“Well, if he found out about me and Mick, he probably would’ve killed me”

Daniel stayed quiet for a moment

“What did he do to you?” he questioned

“Pistol-whipped me, had me in a chokehold but that didn’t last long. It was more his words that scared me.”

“I’m so sorry, Ian. I feel horrible, I should’ve told you there’s cameras in there”

Ian let out a huff, “well…”

“If it makes you feel any better, it’s the only room with cameras, so you and Mickey are safe”

Ian stayed silent now, wondering how he knew that.

“I figured you’d want to know, just in case you and Mickey do stuff”

“We have been, actually” he coughed to avoid the awkwardness.

“Oh” Daniel replied simply, “that’s good!”

“Yeah, probably not for long” he admitted, knowing the danger before changing the subject, “Anyway, you might be able to help answer a question I have”

“What is it?” he wondered

“What does the yellow question mark next to my name mean?”

“Nothing serious” he seemed to shrug off

“Really? Because it didn’t seem like nothing serious when he threatened my life”

“ _Ian_ ” Daniel spoke sternly, “he doesn’t want to kill you”

Ian furrowed his brows, “really?”

“No!” Daniel laughed lightly, “sure, he might become homicidal around you but that’s not why you have an amber question mark”

“What does it fucking mean then? Because I’m losing my fucking shit” Ian’s voice seemed to raise, Mickey’s language rubbing off on him.

“It means you’re a liability. You didn’t actually think André would want his boyfriend's ex practically living with him, did you? They’re keeping an eye on you, and since you wanted to see someone who’s staying in Mexico they figure for as you’re around, you belong to them”

Ian’s face crinkled in disgust, “ _Belong?_ I didn’t sign anything to let them _own_ me”

“No, but you’re living with a hit-man, Ian. If you get asked to send something back over the border and you don’t, then you’re screwed”

He hoped to be out of the country before that happened.

“I feel so gross” Ian confided, “I don’t like any of this. I wanted Mickey safe and now neither me or André are capable of keeping him safe”

“I know” Daniel sighed, “Again, I’m sorry”

“Not your fault” Ian seemed to ease recognizing how bad Daniel did feel, “I guess it’s better I know, since I’m apart of some drug-cartel game”

“Not a game Ian, trust me. I’ve been trying to break out for years”

“Why? I thought you had nothing for you back at home?” Ian wondered

“I do” Daniel exhaled, “I had a girlfriend back home with a kid. My kid”

Ian’s face dropped at that thought, it was almost like Mickey and Yevgeny.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” Ian told him sincerely

“It’s fine, nothin’ I can do now. I broke up with the mom when my little girl was 2, she’d be like 8 now”

Ian pouted, “What was her name?”

“Mariposa” he laughed, “Mari for short. It means butterfly in Spanish. Thought we were doing that ‘unique name’ bullshit but everyone thinks it’s lame”

“I think it’s cute” Ian told him honestly

“Thanks” he seemed to smile, “Anyway, do you want to hang out sometime soon? I might be down in a few days or something. I can’t remember” he chuckled.

“Yeah, sure. We can hang, just buzz me when you’re in town”

“Will do. Hey look, I gotta go, speak soon?”

“Yeah, speak soon” Ian smiled.

They said their goodbye’s and hung up, leaving Ian feeling much better than he did prior to the conversation.

At least he knew what that stupid question mark meant.

 

After finishing the movie, Ian decided he had enough of it and was going to continue the marathon another night.

He woke Chico that still lay in his lap and got up, packing everything up and making his way out of the room with his plate that was now empty since Chico decided he wanted a treat and placed the plate into the sink, the chocolate Lab in tow.

Just as Ian went to walk away, his eyes glanced to the drawer by the sink, a mischievous grin shining slightly as he approached it.

He opened the drawer, pulling out the tube of lube. He looked down at Chico who looked up at him knowingly.

“Just in case” he told the dog with a casual shrug.

Once Ian got into his room he placed the lube into his own bedside drawer and prepared for bed. He came out of the bathroom moments later and sunk into his cold sheets with Chico close by, ready to sleep on the soft mattress.

That was when the front door opened, Ian could hear the echoes of André and Mickey’s voices that travelled up the staircase to where Ian lay. Chico rose for a split second but sunk back down, knowing Ian needed him more.

Ian smiled fondly, patting the dog as he also stayed in bed, not wanting to face the couple on the floor beneath them.

 

He wasted hours of his time online, watching videos and lurking his family and friends from work on Facebook. They all seemed to be doing just fine. Debbie posted a thousand photos of Franny which was typical, and Carl posted yet another _‘like for a like’_ status with a fire emoji, which Fiona liked and Carl just wrote _‘Like: you give me food.’_

Ian found himself cracking a smile at that and gave it a like. He didn’t realize how much homesickness sucked. Then again, he had never been away from home for this long whilst _sane_.

It reached midnight and Ian had heard Mickey and André go to bed with Chico hours ago. He was now completely alone and was beginning to wonder if Mickey would sneak in like he said he would, or if he was sucking André off just because he asked for it.

The thought disgusted Ian, but he knew Mickey didn’t want André anymore. That was more than obvious.

He put his phone on charge and placed it upon the bedside table, going to turn his lamp off before receiving a text message from Mickey

_‘Hey u up?’_

Ian smirked, his heart fluttering back to life and quickly texted back.

‘ _Yeah I am’_

A grin spread across his face as he heard the sound of Mickey’s bedroom door creak open and carefully close.

Ian wasn’t sure what to do in these seconds leading up to Mickey’s arrival so he just pushed his hair back to make sure it looked alright and sat up straighter so he’d look more appealing somehow.

Of course, that didn’t matter to Mickey. But sometimes you can’t help but try and look good for the person you love.

 Mickey pushed open the door that was ajar and closed it behind him, a smirk he couldn’t contain beaming across his face.

“Hey stranger” Ian greeted, an instant grin shining through at the man approaching his bed.

“Hey” Mickey chuckled, crawling onto the bed towards Ian.

“C’mere” Ian breathed, his hand wrapping around the nape of his neck to pull him in.

Mickey smirked, instantly embracing the passionate kiss they shared, moving together in perfect unison. Mickey grasped onto the nape of Ian’s ginger hair to hold him closer as they savored one another.

They slowed down once satisfied from their missed-you kiss, even though it realistically had not been that long since they had last seen each other. They pulled away with agony in their chests as they didn’t want to completely let go, still holding each other by the back of their necks.

“How was your night?” Ian breathed, moving his eyes to meet with Mickey’s.

Mickey scoffed, “Really? You wanna know how _my_ night went?”

Ian smirked, moving his hand to idle Mickey’s thigh.

“Yeah” he spoke softly, “just curious”

Mickey huffed, pulling away from Ian completely to sit cross-legged in front of him.

“Ate a burger that was too fucking expensive and drank wine even though I hate the shit”

“Red or White?”

“White” Mickey told him, causing Ian to laugh a little.

“See, that’s where you went wrong. White always tastes like a bad hangover”

“Yeah,” Mickey scratched his head, “pretty sure I drank a bottle of $5 white wine once on an empty stomach. Ended up throwing up over the balcony the next day”

Ian laughed lightly before biting his lip, admiring how cute Mickey looked sitting there in his tank-top and boxers, his eyes sparkling and bright like a clear blue sky.

Mickey began to feel himself blush at how Ian’s green eyes seemed to devour him.

“The fuck are you looking at?” he piped, hiding back his grin.

“Nothing!” he shrugged, snapping out of it.

“ _Sure_ , okay princess” Mickey sarcastically responded

“Just—” Ian tried to find the words, looking at him again, “You’re kind of beautiful”

Mickey covered his mouth subtly for a moment to wipe away his smile before replying.

“Kinda, huh?” He spoke, tongue in cheek as he crawled his way onto Ian’s lap, straddling him, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing—just” he became flustered, “Shut up” Ian chuckled, reaching to steal a kiss.

Mickey let out a soft laugh as he cupped Ian’s face, embracing the kiss before pulling away, gazing at how his freckled skin and deep green eyes looked under the ambience of the dim, warm lighting.

The words softly slipped from his lips;

“You’re really somethin’, Ian Gallagher”

Ian hitched his breathing as the beautiful words struck him in an incredible way, but he shook it off with a smirk, replying with a simple;

“I know I am”

“Fuck you” Mickey laughed before noticing the gash upon his forehead, causing his smile to slowly fade.

Mickey gently ran his thumb over the spot that was turning into a dark bruise, unable to help the gut feeling he had saying something wasn’t right here.

He grew up in a household of abuse, Mickey knew the difference between an accident and a battle-wound, but he doubted Ian would tell him the truth.

Gallagher’s don’t snitch, just like the Milkoviches. That was something they always had in common.

“What’s wrong?” Ian whispered, trying not to wince at the slight tenderness where Mickey ran his thumb among.

“Nothing, just hoping you’re good” he smiled slightly

“Yeah I am. Told you, just a slip” he gave an assuring nod, “I’m good”

He seemed promising, but Mickey didn’t want to believe it.

“You didn’t seem good when I walked in before I left. I-I was worried you being here was affect—”

Ian grabbed Mickey by the waist and rolled him over so he was lying down, pulling the warm sheets over them both as he grinded his crotch down against Mickey’s so he would relax a little. Ian’s hands now holding Mickey’s arms above his head.

“I’m fine. _please_ don’t be like everyone else constantly worrying about me” A sad smile with a hint of insecurity seeped through, “Anyone but you”

Mickey swallowed hard, astounded as he found himself unable to find a reply to the confusing state Ian just put him in. It was both sweet and sour, like they were going to have sex but the deep thoughts consuming them were creeping in through the cracks.

“You’re the only one right now that I can have a conversation with that doesn’t end with ‘ _Take your meds, bye._ ’” Ian continued, shaking his head slightly, “Please…just trust me Mick. I’m good”

“I-I do trust you” Mickey croaked softly, “I just don’t want you having an episode because of this” he paused, “well—Me” he corrected.

Ian tightened his jaw, moving his hands from Mickey’s wrists to place them on his chest.

“I’m taking the meds. What I’m going through has nothing to do with my bipolar or you, alright?”

He was giving Mickey the sad puppy-dog eyes that always made his heart ache.

“Why don’t you just fuckin’ tell me what’s going on, then?” Mickey asked softly, placing his hand upon Ian’s jaw for comfort.

“I-I can’t” Ian nearly choked, looking down at Mickey’s chest as he started to draw soft circles, “I guess I’ve just been a little stressed lately”

“About what? Mickey wondered, brows pensive with worry.

“Nothin’ just _stuff_ , okay?” Ian tried to assure him, still not looking him in the eye.

Mickey pursed his lips, knowing he clearly was stressing out about him and probably whatever he left at home. No amount of lies could hide that, Mickey could just read it on his face.

“Well” Mickey began, slipping his hand beneath the sheet to grasp the half-hard shaft from the outside of his boxers, “At least let me help you get your mind off it”

Ian chewed his lip at the teasing motion of Mickey’s fingers tracing the outline of his length, his eyes lifted to meet with Mickey’s.

“I-I guess that’s an idea”

Mickey smirked slightly, wrapping his legs around Ian’s hips to help flip him over. Now he was the one grinding on Ian, pinning down his hands above his head.

“Just relax” Mickey breathed, slowly grinding his hard length against Ian’s.

Ian released a soft sigh, just watching Mickey’s hips roll onto him.

Mickey’s lip twitched at the sensation and watched Ian with a lustful glare, watching how he consumed the moment.

Ian slowly closed his eyes, moving his hips slowly in time with Mickey as he felt himself grow hungry for more.

“Fuck…” he breathed as Mickey grinded harder, but still agonizingly slow.

“Like that, huh?” he whispered with a flirty laugh before pressing a kiss to Ian’s neck, making his way over his jawline to his cheek.

Ian inhaled his comforting scent, already getting lost in the moment.

“Kiss me…” Ian whispered to thin air, feeling how Mickey gravitated over him.

He pressed a soft kiss to Ian’s lips as he continued to grind and Ian let a moan slip, adding a touch of tongue as he begged for Mickey to get closer. Mickey opened his mouth for more, kissing him deeper, wanting to give Ian the bliss he deserved.

Suddenly, Mickey’s hips moved faster, allowing a louder groan to leach from Ian.

Mickey pulled away, slowing his motion.

“Shhh” he hushed, placing a finger on Ian’s lip.

Ian’s eyes slowly crept open, pressing a soft kiss to Mickey’s index finger, showing his need as he gazed into Mickey’s eyes.

Mickey gaped, unable to comprehend how someone so stunning could be beneath him right now.

Ian noticed Mickey’s loosened grip and moved his hands to push down at Mickey’s boxers that were stained lightly from pre-cum.

Mickey couldn’t find the strength in him to oblige, helping Ian remove his boxers and throw them across the room.

Ian smirked, reaching for Mickey’s length but was abruptly stopped by Mickey’s hands catching Ian’s wrists

“No” he told him off, Mickey pulled Ian’s arms back above his head, “Tonight, this is about you”

The huskiness in his voice almost made Ian want to take control but he held back, letting Mickey do whatever he wanted to his body.

Mickey grinned at the stunned look on Ian’s face and pulled down Ian’s boxers only the slightest to release the throbbing shaft it had tucked away.

He instantly wrapped his hand around it, marveling at the beauty as he massaged him with flawless strokes.

Ian bit back a moan and leaned his head back, feeling Mickey’s tongue trail from his neck to his earlobe.

“Did you bring the lube up?” he purred into his ear, jerking a bit harder.

Ian grinned, looking at him now, “How’d you know?”

Mickey smirked in return, “just a feelin’ I got after this morning”

Ian hummed somewhat proudly, nodding to the bedside drawer and Mickey followed suit, reaching over for it to pull out the tube.

 

He squeezed some of the cool gel onto his hand and met his lips to Ian’s as he closed the cap. He allowed Ian to grab his face and hold him there, the two embracing in a slow and tasteful kiss, Mickey massaging the lube into his length to warm it up.

Ian hitched his breath as he felt himself become more sensitive from the intensity before Mickey pulled away, putting any remainder of it from his hand on himself.

“You ready?” he breathed against Ian’s lips, trying to ignore how badly he wanted to just rush and give him what he needed.

“As always” Ian huffed as if it were rhetorical, smirking as Mickey laughed softly.

“I’m trying to be sexy, here” Mickey told him, positioning himself.

“You are” Ian confirmed, pressing another kiss to his lips, “You’re the sexiest”

Mickey smirked and pulled away from Ian, grabbing onto his hand to entwine their fingers as he braced himself.

His fingers tightened around Ian’s as he winced, relaxing himself onto his lovers’ length.

Ian exhaled at the feeling of Mickey’s tightness surrounding him, watching how Mickey moved his way up and down slightly jaggedly.

“You good?” he wondered softly, Mickey nodded.

“Y-Yeah, just give me a sec”

Ian smiled softly before letting out a soft groan. Mickey rolled his hips slowly and leaned his head back at the pleasure that ran through him. Being in control was brilliant, because he knew the right moves to make Ian hit the spots where it belonged.

He also knew all the right moves to drive Ian the right kind of crazy.

Mickey let go off Ian’s fingers and grabbed onto his own ass, stretching his cheeks to help Ian get a bit deeper.

He exhaled, smirking at the pleasure as his head rolled back, moving up and down with much more ease.

“Shit…” Ian breathed, watching how Mickey rolled his hips, picking up the pace quickly.

Mickey grinned, looking down at Ian who seemed to be almost enchanted by his lover.

“Oh, you like that, huh?” his grin grew wider, biting his lip as he pressed his hands onto Ian’s chest, riding harder and faster, the bed creaking only slightly.

Ian couldn’t help but gape at the sight, running his hands up Mickey’s tank top to feel the toned curves of his body.

Mickey let out a low groan at the feeling of Ian’s hands gripping into his hips, rocking them at a pace that got them both going. Ian was trying so hard to restrain from pounding into the flawless man above him.

Sitting up, Mickey whimpered at the sensation of Ian somehow getting in deeper. He was almost bouncing on his dick now, stroking over the right spot consistently. He ignored the burning feeling in his thighs, focusing on Making Ian feel good.

Ian felt up Mickey’s soft, damp chest, letting out all the noises only Mickey could allow him to make.

“Fuck, Mick” he hitched, biting his lip hard as Mickey deliberately clenched around him, “what did I ever do to deserve someone as perfect as you?” his pleasure rambled, just wanting to give Mickey the world.

“Really? I was just wondering the s-same fucking thing” Mickey couldn’t help but smile through his panting, grabbing a hold of Ian’s wrists, “No hands, alright?” He told him off with a slight laugh, pulling them away from his body.

Ian pouted, grabbing a hold of Mickey’s loving fingers and entwining them with his own.

“Closer…” Ian breathed, leaning his head up slightly.

Mickey smiled and leaned down, sighing into the kiss as he held Ian’s hands above his head once more, their kiss hot and sloppy as Mickey continued to move against Ian in an impeccable manner, just fucking himself so hard against Ian’s dick he was getting there faster than he had hoped, but he wasn’t sure he cared.

Ian fought his hands out of Mickey grip and wrapped his arms around Mickey, not being able to fight temptation now as he began to pound up into him.

“F-Fuck!” Mickey whimpered, fingers clinging into the pillow as he looked up as if he were praying—or begging for more.

Ian bit into Mickey’s shoulder, moans growing louder as he pulled Mickey down into each ramming motion that kept Mickey’s arms shaking.

“S-Shit” Mickey gasped, relaxing his arms as he lay against Ian’s chest, “s-stay quiet” he told him sternly, trying to fight back his own need to just scream from the pleasure.

“Look who’s talkin’” Ian panted with a smirk, just watching how Mickey’s face showed how close he was getting to the finish line.

Mickey grabbed a hold of his own length, smashing his lips back down to Ian’s to shut them both up. He jerked himself fast as he rode into Ian’s perfect strokes, the pair of them working together to bring each other to release.

Ian clenched his eyes shut, unable to contain the intensity he felt from the sensation of Mickey’s motions as well as how good his kisses made him feel, running more pleasure like electricity straight to his dick.

“Ah!” Ian threw his head back with a gasp, “I’m gonna—”

Mickey instantly clasped his hand over Ian’s mouth, panting a bit harsher.

“Don’t you fucking stop” he demanded in the quietest voice he could manage.

Ian nodded, obeying as he continued to slam into Mickey who was in complete bliss, he was almost holding back his own breath so he could stay silent.

Through all the sweat and heat surrounding them, they couldn’t stop. Mickey tried to stay as quiet as possible but he could just feel the throbbing at the base of Ian’s length indicating just how close he was, and Mickey couldn’t quite stop himself, either.

“Shi—” Mickey yelped before Ian placed his own hand over Mickey’s mouth, the two staring intensely into each-other’s eyes as they came together. 

Ian could feel his eyes glaze over from the strength of the orgasm as he rode it out, the two of them whimpering and panting harshly against one another’s hands.

Mickey loved the sensation of riding him to the orgasm they shared and how it felt inside. It was intense, dirty and beautiful, just like the relationship they shared. As soon as Mickey finished, Ian slowed down to a stop and Mickey pulled himself off Ian and gasped for air as he broke away from Ian’s hand, collapsing on his chest.

The lovers stayed silent, defeated in their mess. Ian patted Mickey’s damp hair softly, trying to return his breathing to normal. 

“That was…” Ian exhaled, incapable of finding the words as Mickey propped himself up to look Ian in the eye, wiping what was either sweat or tears away from his eyes.

“Just shut up” he snickered, leaning in where they shared a loving passionate kiss.

They held one another’s faces, just breathing each other in as the kiss became far needier, because they both knew that Mickey had to sneak back into André’s room eventually.

Mickey tried to pull away so this wouldn’t be too hard, but Ian only pulled him in harder, begging him to stay as their lips so softly worked against one another.

If Ian couldn’t even let go of a kiss, how would he ever be able to let Mickey go to head back home alone? It just wasn’t going to happen. They were meant to be together, like this, just soaking in the aftermath of what was incredible, real and true love. 

 

* * *

 

When Mickey woke up the next day, he was so sad to be in his own bed, but he felt even sadder not finding Ian next to him.

He never thought he’d hate a room as much as he hated this one. Everything in it was just so _André_ and Mickey still couldn’t bring himself to ease up to the apparently humble man.

Speaking of, it didn’t seem like André was here, which made Mickey feel some form of comfort. It was just him, Chico, and a piece of paper that carefully lay against his boyfriends’ pillow.

He sat up and wiped his eyes, still feeling a slight burn in his thighs after last night.

Man, he was never going to get over how good that felt.

Chico looked over at Mickey and wagged his tail as if to say hello, Mickey instantly greeted him, patting the soft fur on his head before reaching for the note that said exactly what he thought it would say.

‘ _Won’t be home till tomorrow. Will bring lunch. I love you x_ ’

Yep, just as suspected.

Mickey scrunched up the paper without a second thought and jumped out of the bed. The sooner he got out of this room, the better.

 

Ian slept peacefully in his bed, the sheets a scrambled mess whilst his back lay bare, the sun shining through the window to warm him up.

He woke slightly to the sound of his door opening, followed by the sound of panting coming closer as something jumped up on the bed.

Ian figured it was Chico, since his wet little nose was sniffing right by his ear, then he felt something else creep onto the bed.

Mickey pressed a soft kiss to the back of Ian’s leg that hang out of the twisted sheets before pressing another on the small of his back.

The ginger man who rested peacefully couldn’t help but smile at how happy this sensation brought him. It felt like a dream. One of those dreams Ian had dreamt a thousand times where he and Mickey were together. They were a family.

Although it wasn’t quite the same, the half-awake state of Ian’s mind helped him think that way, continuing to enjoy the kisses that were now by his shoulder.

“Sleeping beauty…” Mickey sung softly in his ear, causing Ian to smile.

But he continued to just lay there, his mind in a whole other world.

“C’mon. Wake up, man” Mickey told him more casual now, leaning his chin on his shoulder, “I could really do with a batch of those banana pancakes you made me that one time, what d’ya think?”

Ian groaned softly, the half-asleep part of him not wanting to use any physical energy.

Mickey rolled his eyes and sat up, reaching for the phone on Ian’s bedside table to read the time.

“Jesus Christ, it’s nearly ‘noon” he huffed, “How do we always manage this?”

Ian sighed, officially awake as he spoke, “because we always fuck to the point of exhaustion”

“Oh, she’s awake!” Mickey beamed, pulling him up by the shoulder to move him onto his back.

A grunt erupted from Ian as he peeled his eyes open, squinting at the brightness around the room before locking onto Mickey who was saddled on top of him.

“Mornin’” Ian muttered, grabbing the phone from Mickey’s hand to glance at it. His brows raised, stood corrected by what Mickey had just said, “or, afternoon”

Mickey grinned as Chico gave a lick to Ian’s face suddenly.

“Oh hello to you too!” Ian greeted with excitement in his tone, patting the brown Labrador.

“Okay, shove off” Mickey told Chico, pushing the dog away playfully as he moved further up Ian’s body, leaning over him so they were face to face.

Ian’s hands lingered to the man’s waist, unable to comprehend the beauty in front of him.

“So, what about those pancakes? Would fill us up enough to get us through work tonight”

“Jesus” Ian exclaimed with a laugh, “Why are you in such a good mood?”

Mickey shrugged, “might have something to do with last night, or the fact that André won’t be home tonight to bother us”

A smile stretched across Ian’s face, “Well aren’t we lucky. I wish he were away all the time” he thought out loud, but Mickey had to laugh at it.

“I know, right?” he replied before moving his eyes to the wound on Ian’s forehead.

“What? Is it bad?” Ian wondered

“No, just, the bruise is worse than I thought it would”

Ian gave a tight smile, “that table’s a real bitch, huh?”

Mickey just gave Ian a look before pressing a kiss to his dry lips. Ian instantly basked in it, grabbing his face to steal one more before they pulled away.

“C’mon, get up so we can eat and then have real shower sex before work” Mickey declared, jumping off the bed and heading towards the door.

Ian sat up with an over-dramatic groan, “How could I ever turn that down?” He wondered

Mickey just laughed, walking out the door.

 

It was a pretty domesticated afternoon, just as Mickey had planned. Ian whipped up some incredible banana pancakes and they enjoyed eating them together, then Ian enjoyed eating Mickey’s ass in the shower until he was begging him for mercy.

But that was something they kept between the two of them and the walls of Ian’s shower.

Neither of them wanted to go to work today and would much rather just hang out like they had the previous day, just being alone together, free to be themselves and loving each other endlessly. Of course, they wouldn’t admit it out loud, but at least they would be together today in some sort of way.

The shift was rather slow, and all Ian knew was that he truly was happier whenever Mickey was near. He felt safer, and had very little worries. Who knows, maybe the anti-stress sex last night worked.

Or, maybe he was just fighting off every ache in his nerves wanting to tell Mickey who André truly was. He had never kept a secret like this from Mickey before, usually they would tell each other these things. More so Ian than Mickey, but that was beside the point.

Despite what Lip said, Ian just wasn't ready. It felt too risky.

André was out there, most likely selling drugs and killing people instead of fucking random men like Mickey always thought he was.

Well, he probably was out there selling drugs, killing people _as well as_ fucking random men. Always forgetting about the one man he apparently loved back at home.

 

Thankfully, Rosa was the one working the bar today with Ian and Mickey, happily serving the locals whilst multi-tasking _real_ paperwork, not the bullshit André always lied about.

It was only an afternoon shift on a weekday so it wasn’t like there would be a massive rage of people flocking in here anyway, but Rosa was always so kind and easy-going when it came to Ian and Mickey, no matter how slow or busy the shifts were.

Ian had figured wherever André was, his dad was out with him, since it was rare that it was just Rosa here without Vince and as always, Mickey didn’t question it.

Maybe the reality of it all was just that Mickey didn’t care, which seemed reasonable enough to Ian.

Mickey had probably spent the last hour just cleaning the shelves of liquor whilst Ian wiped down tables. There were only about 5 people currently inside the bar, ordering shot after shot of whiskey and tequila.

Rosa couldn’t help but recognize how bored the two Americans were, since they couldn’t talk to anyone the way she could.

She turned to Mickey who was behind her dusting off the expensive bottles of liquor that were only dusty because no one could afford them.

“Mickey darling, if you and Ian want to go take your break you can” she told him softly

Mickey placed the bottle back and turned to her, “You sure?”

“Yes! You go out and get yourself some food. If you come back and it’s still not busy, I might let you off early”

“Oh cool, thank you” Mickey smiled, placing a friendly kiss on her cheek since she always expected one from her favorite son-in-law.

Her face lit up at the affection, “No problem! See you both in 30 minutos”

Mickey just nodded, wiping his hands on his jeans before heading towards the back door.

“Yo Ian!” Mickey called out, distracting the man who was somehow in another world whilst cleaning tables.

“What!?” Ian yelled back, looking over at him.

“¡ven aca!” he shouted in Spanish before turning to Rosa, “I said it right, right?”

“Sí my darling, that is correct” she laughed lightly, serving a beer to one of the customers.

Ian still didn’t know what it meant, but made his way over to where Mickey stood, throwing the cleaning supplies onto the counter.

Mickey just nodded at him to follow him to the backroom, making Ian's brows raise as dirty thoughts filled with ideas flooded his mind.

They walked in and Ian watched Mickey reach for his keys and phone on the cluttered desk.

“We’re on break for half an hour, wanna go get those tacos we like?” he asked casually, lowering Ian’s hopes of something else.

“Uh yeah, sure” Ian responded with a smile, “Not really hungry though”

“Yeah, me either” Mickey sighed, “maybe we could just go for a drive or some shit? I need to get the fuck out of here, I’m going stir crazy standing there doin’ nothing”

Ian laughed, understanding completely.

Mickey paused for a second, noticing something from the corner of his eye. A smirk grew on his face, a new wild idea coming into his head.

“What’s up?” Ian wondered, furrowing his brows at how frozen Mickey seemed.

“Nothin’, just need to do something first” he told him, “get in the car, be out in a sec”

Mickey threw the keys to Ian who caught it with one hand, trying not to be impressed at his own skills.

“ _Alright_ ” Ian replied, clearly suspicious of what Mickey was up to before making his way out of the bar to head to the car.

Mickey waited a second to make sure no one was coming before leaning down to the bar fridge that sat underneath the plywood desk that kept their lunch and some refrigerated stock.

He opened the fridge and pulled out one of the many cans of whipped cream they had.

Just like Ian, Mickey had a dirty mind filled with ideas too.

After all, great minds think alike.

 

Mickey made his way out to the black Chevrolet that sat in the half-empty parking lot. The sun still somewhat high up in the clear sky for this late in the afternoon. He kept the hand that held the canister of whipped cream behind his back as he approached the passenger side of the car where Ian sat.

Ian rolled down the tinted window, his brows brooding with curiosity.

“What are you doing?” He wondered, looking at how smug that gorgeous face was.

“Get in the backseat, got you something” he spoke innocently, as if he didn’t have a trick up his sleeve.

Ian couldn’t help the grin on his face now, “What is it?”

“Not fuckin’ telling you!” he told him off, “Just get in the back” he ordered, nodding toward the backseat.

Ian rolled his eyes playfully and rolled the window back up, before hopping over into the backseat, leaning against the door on the driver side of the vehicle, just spreading his legs out.

Mickey licked his lip quickly as he opened the door, making sure no one was around before getting in and closing the door behind him.

That just left Ian and Mickey alone in the backseat of the car, curiosity and lust filling the air.

“So, what’d you get me?” Ian wondered with a cheeky smirk, causing Mickey’s grin to lift also.

“C’mere” he muttered, motioning with his free hand for him to come closer.

Ian couldn’t oblige, the lovers colliding with one another perfectly, instantly getting into a passionate make out; tasting and devouring each second as excitement spread through their veins.

They motioned together for a moment, Ian gripping onto the nape of his neck with one hand as the other searched for Mickeys belt buckle, wanting to get to the point.

Mickey pulled away, shaking his head.

“You didn’t think the surprise would be car sex, did you?” He chortled, “We’ve been there, done that”

Ian huffed, bemused as he tried to think of what it could possibly be.

“Then what, Mick?” he breathed, moving the hand from his neck to his chest.

Mickey pulled the can of whipped cream from behind his back, shaking it rather teasingly.

He couldn’t help but feel his pride rise at how Ian’s eyes widened, full of questions and excitement.

“Sometimes I like my dessert before my dinner” he grinned, shaking the can properly now.

Ian gulped slightly, trying to control the heartbeat that was more than ready for this.

“Open up” Mickey leered, popping off the lid.

Already unbuttoning his shirt, Ian opened his mouth like a baby bird ready to be fed. He shut his eyes, bracing the way Mickey sprayed the cream into his mouth.

Ian closed his mouth as he felt it fill with the thick cream and began to swallow it, the pair laughing at how Mickey managed to overfill it, some cream just not fitting in.

This was going to get messy.

Mickey wiped the remaining cream off Ian’s chin with his finger before sucking it off gently, which Ian of course found stunning.

Mickey leaned in for another kiss, tasting the whipped cream bliss as he used his free hand to undo Ian’s shirt completely.

Ian almost melted under the feeling of Mickey’s fingers tracing down the center of his chest. Mickey pulled away slowly, giving Ian an assuring look of love and lust as he shook the can again.

This time, he sprayed the cold cream right where he had just touched, making Ian’s breath hitch only slightly at the sensation, but he was more focused on how Mickey made his way down to his stomach.

They were lucky the backseat was spacious enough or this.

Mickey kissed where the line of cream began, licking it off his lips before steadily licking up Ian’s chest, devouring the cream so teasingly slow that Ian had adrenaline coursing through his veins, wanting to know so badly what was to come.

When Mickey came to the end of the line, he gave the center of Ian’s chest a deeper kiss, pulling away to look Ian in the eye again as he licked the remaining cream off his bottom lip, exhaling softly.

Ian couldn’t help but adore the dot of cream on his nose and leaned in, kissing his nose just lightly to get it off.

Mickey scrunched up his face and Ian had a chuckle, wiping the tip of his cute nose with his thumb before pulling him in for a loving kiss.

A soft moan escaped Mickey’s lips at how Ian’s lips felt against his own, their tongues twining generously. Ian ran his hands all over Mickey’s body, just wanting to undress him and wishing they had more than half an hour to love one another.

They truly were like a drug to each other. What they shared together was something they wanted to consume and have nearby on the daily. An addiction. Ian had completely forgotten why he’d ever want to live a life away from Mickey when the truth in it all was that they belonged together, like two pieces in a picture-perfect puzzle.

Mickey gave one more longing kiss, hand tracing the shape of his jawline as the other hand let go of the canister to grab a feel of Ian’s quickly hardening length under the tight jeans he wore. He couldn’t help but hum, smirking at how into it Ian was.

Ian’s lips made its way to Mickey’s neck now, pressing kisses that still held the same amount of passion and desire they always shared. Mickey let out a pleasurable sigh, biting his lip as he fumbled to unbuckle Ian’s belt.

Mickey managed to undo the jeans, pulling out Ian’s hardened length with a slight egotistical chuckle erupting as Ian moaned at the slightest touch.

Their lips met once more, Ian nibbling his bottom lip only slightly before Mickey pulled away, kissing his way down Ian’s chiseled body, pumping him at an even pace.

Ian bit his lip hard, running his fingers through the soft dark locks of Mickey’s hair as he reached the head of his length.

Mickey pressed a soft kiss to it, teasing Ian who smirked at the way it made him feel. Mickey traced his tongue slowly along the underside of his shaft, a moan instantly escaping his heavenly lover.

“Jesus, Mick” he breathed, watching Mickey grin and reach for the canister, “This is going to get messy” he felt the need to comment.

“But that’s what makes it fun, right?” Mickey smirked, holding onto Ian’s length as shook the can.

“Fuck yeah” Ian grinned, a chuckle leaving them both.

Mickey sprayed a perfect line of cream along the underside of the shaft, bracing it immediately, licking and kissing the cream away so tenderly Ian was already muttering profanities under his breath.

The raven-haired beauty couldn’t help but snicker devilishly, enveloping himself onto the best cock he’s ever tasted.

He nearly swallowed Ian down whole, sucking up all the cream he could get. The swallowing motion of his tongue is what sent electricity racing up Ian’s spine, just making him moan for more.

Mickey sped it up, tongue overlapping the head over and over in a consistent pattern like a dance before swallowing him down again, moving up and down, sucking in his cheeks to tighten the sensation for his lover.

Ian leaned his head back, both hands locked into Mickey’s hair as he did what he did so effortlessly with very little flaws.

He was in a state of euphoria, just loving each dirty second of this perfect love affair.

 

This definitely wouldn’t take long, Mickey was working him faster and faster and Ian was beginning to tense his fingers in his hair, just pulling Mickey down to take him in completely, beginning to roll his hip into the rhythm of it.

Mickey took in every second, getting sloppy and gasping at how hungry they both were, just going in harder, wanting to taste his reward which came in the form on Ian’s orgasm.

Ian began to whimper, moaning far louder than before. Mickey pulled away and jacked him off fast so he could take a breath before embracing the finale of this event.

“You close?” he breathed, swallowing down the breath that couldn’t reach his lungs.

“U-Uh huh” Ian nodded, his body heaving as he escalated closer to the edge.

Mickey took him into his mouth again, looking up at the pleasured-pain look on Ian’s face.

God, it was turning him on.

He spontaneously grabbed at his own throbbing member that was tucked away in his tight black jeans and began rolling his hips as he gave Ian head, just grinding into his own hand as he could feel himself getting closer to the edge, too.

Only Ian could make him this hungry for sex. He had never experienced this with anyone else, even if he tried.

The tension built, moans escaping the both of them as it got somehow sloppier, messier and dirtier.

Mickey continued to suck and grind into his own hard grip, almost gasping as he the sounds Ian made contributed to the need of release.

“Fuck!” Ian yelped, bucking his hips as Mickey’s mouth tightened, panting and groaning erupting from him as he came, “I-I’m coming, I’m coming” he kept repeating until his legs began to shake.

Mickey just moaned, oozing out the orgasm he had created and swallowing it right down his throat.

“S-Stop, shit!” Ian gasped, and Mickey did, slowly and agonizingly so.

He pulled away from Ian, unable to stop thinking about the throbbing that came from his own need to release.

“If only we had the cream when we were in the shower” Ian spoke breathlessly, laughing so light-heartedly as if he were on a high from what Mickey achieved.

“Shut up” Mickey breathed, a grin on his lips as he grabbed for the can of cream, spraying some playfully against Ian’s mouth.

“W—” Ian began before laughing loudly and licking at the cream.

Mickey beamed with laughter and made his way back up to Ian’s face so he could kiss some of it off.  Ian’s hands instantly cupping his face as they started to make out again, the cream was pretty much gone now, but they kept that passion alive, Mickey positioning himself to he could grind against Ian’s thigh.

Ian instantly allowed it, one hand sliding to Mickey’s ass as their lips sloppily worked together, sharp inhales and exhales exiting them both as Ian grinded back against him so Mickey could get off.

They continued the rhythm that was so similar to before, grinding harder and slowly faster as the heat and tension continued to build and build.

“Come for me” Ian breathed as their tongues twined again, knowing Mickey was close by how his brain seemed to leave his body and it was the pleasure that took over his entire body.

A gasp left Mickey, pulling Ian hard by the shirt as he dry-humped faster, their lips colliding with force before Ian bit Into Mickey’s jaw, just letting the orgasm take its toll.

It was loud and unapologetic, just taking control over Mickey as he rode it out, now clasping into Ian’s hair, holding his head to his chest as he felt that orgasm roar through him until it suddenly turned to a slight tingle, relaxing all his muscles.

Sure, he felt a bit dirty now, as did Ian. But it was well worth it, and a good excuse to take another shower.

“Holy shit, Mickey” Ian spoke, still breathless as the man he loved shook above him, slowly easing and backing away from him.

“S-Shut up” he breathed, leaning against the door opposite to Ian as he caught his breath.

Ian smirked, tucking himself back into his pants, “we should have dessert more often”

Mickey bit back his grin and just flipped him off, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

“How about we get high on the beach tonight and watch the sunset?” Ian suddenly suggested as he did up his pants.

Mickey couldn’t help but laugh, looking over at him, “You think about that often while I cum?”

“Shut up” Ian barked with laughter, “Just an idea”

“Yeah, we can after we get dinner and shower” he sighed, “Hopefully Rosa lets us go early”

“She will” Ian spoke as if he were convinced, doing the buttons of his shirt back up, “don’t know how to explain this stain on my pants, though”

Mickey just waved it off like no big deal, “just don’t tuck your shirt in”

 

Just as expected, Rosa ended up letting them off early. They hoped she didn’t notice the dirty state they were in, considering how clean they were when they got to work.

They got some of those tacos they loved on the way home and ate in the car, Mickey managing to eat a taco whilst steering with his right hand without fail. Ian found it quite entertaining, saying that this Mexican lifestyle was having an influence on him.

Once home they got into the shower and instead of what they thought would be another round of sex, it was just another shower. They just admired each other most of the time, making jokes, stealing kisses, with Ian forcing Mickey to let him shampoo his hair.

“I feel like a fuckin’ kid with you doing this” Mickey complained, arms crossed

“Oh shut up, you love it” Ian chimed, massaging the shampoo into his head to the point where there were so many soap suds you could hardly see Mickey’s dark hair.

After the shower, they quickly got dressed and decided to bring Chico along for the walk. Chico instantly lead Ian to the door the second the leash was placed on him, whilst Mickey took his time to get his shit together.

“Alright! Let’s go” Mickey announced as he reached the entry hall.

The second Ian opened the door, Chico went running out and pulled Ian with him. Ian muttered profanities as he tried to keep up whilst Mickey walked out, shutting the door.

He couldn’t help but laugh, putting a cigarette between his lips as he watched Ian run off with the excited puppy dog towards the sunset.

 

They got down to the beach and Chico had calmed down a bit. The sky was a beautiful mix of purples, oranges and blues as it met with the ocean, and the iridescence of the water just radiated the colors back to it. It reminded Ian of Mickey's tattoo that was perfectly placed on his chest.

The sand was cold and soft between their toes, slowly getting harder and colder as they reached the shoreline, where they walked along, just letting the cold water wash up over their feet and retreat to the sea inconsistently. Some waves bigger than others.

Mickey finished half his smoke and gave the rest to Ian, inhaling the nicotine into his lungs whilst Mickey pulled out rolling paper and a small ziplock bag of weed, beginning to make the joint.

“It’s so nice out here” Ian felt inclined to comment, just soaking in the sun, sand and Mexican air.

“I know” Mickey sighed contentedly, admiring the sight, “This your first beach?”

“Yeah” Ian smiled softly at him, taking in another drag of the cigarette, “I saw Lake Michigan once, but that was it” he exhaled

“Yeah, that’s nothing compared to this” he huffed, rolling up the joint, “I fucking love the beach”

Ian smiled slightly, hesitating as he remembered something.

“I-I know, Mandy told me”

Mickey looked at him from the corner of his eye, analyzing how hesitant he was.

“What else she tell ‘ya?” he wondered, a hint of insecurity in his tone as he licked at the edge of the rolling paper so he could stick the joint together.

Ian just shrugged, focused on Chico who was walking beside him and enjoying the walk.

“I won’t be mad” he assured him as he finished rolling the joint

Ian inhaled the cigarette once more, exhaling as he passed it over to Mickey.

“Just that your dad was a cunt about it”

Mickey laughed bitterly, lighting the joint on the head of the burning cigarette.

“So, nothing new?”

Ian furrowed his brows, watching how Mickey just flicked the cigarette butt into the ocean before taking a deep inhale of the joint.

“What do you mean?” he questioned, “he would beat you”

“Why’s that so shocking to you?” he replied with an exhale, passing it to Ian, “Probably deserved it, I had a loud mouth when I was a kid”

Ian shook his head, astonished by what Mickey had just said, “And what? That means you deserved it?”

Mickey tightened his jaw, realizing what he thought in his head would never make sense to Ian.

“Just don’t worry about it, alright? His ass is rotting in prison anyway”

“That’s beside the point, Mick. You were just a kid. Do you think hitting a kid is okay?” Ian argued, taking a rough inhale of the joint to soothe his woes.

“Fuck no! I would never dare hit a kid, especially my own” he explained, “but this is me, it’s what I was used to. Whenever I was a little shit, I’d fight my dad until he beat me black and blue. How else was I supposed to learn?”

Ian couldn’t help but give a fowl, distasteful look, “You never deserved it, Mick. You don’t deserve any of the bad shit that’s happened to you”

“And you don’t deserve a family that won’t look twice or bipolar disorder but look where you are” he fired back, looking Ian in the eye as he took the joint from his fingers.

Ian just swallowed down the tight feeling in his throat, looking back down at Chico.

Mickey inhaled the joint before sighing, looking at the sand he walked upon.

“Sorry” Mickey mumbled, “didn’t mean to sound like that”

“It’s fine” Ian awkwardly choked, “I get it”

Mickey smiled slightly, inhaling another drag before passing it back to Ian.

“Wanna head back towards the house?” he exhaled, “we can sit on the sand closer to the entrance and watch the sun go down”

“Sure” Ian smiled slightly, taking a drag.

They both turned around and Mickey offered to take the lead, allowing Chico to guide them back.

 

The two of them found a comfy spot on the sand, Chico by their side relaxing as they finished off the joint, just watching the sun go down.

All Ian could feel right now was a sense of love and sadness between him and Mickey, because there was never enough of these days where they could just sit together and love one another this freely. Even if the word _love_ hadn’t been shared yet, they both felt it.

Tomorrow, André was going to be back and that’s when things would really start to go down the drain. Mickey didn’t know that yet, but it was the one of the only things running through Ian’s head right now.

He was dreading everything about it, from the fact that he’d have to watch André and Mickey act like they’re in love to the other fact that Ian knew everything there possibly was to know about André, and that he was possibly in danger.

And Mickey had no clue. 

Ian exhaled the last of the cannabis-bliss from his lung and watched how delicate Mickey’s features looked against that orange ball of light.

He was so beautiful and so unaware, and maybe that was the tragedy about it all. Mickey had no clue the person he loved was in danger and couldn’t even sleep at night. Last night, Ian maybe only got a few good hours of sleep before his wonderful wake up call.

Ian knew this didn’t mean anything good, but he wasn’t going to stop it. No matter how often Lip tried to tell him to just relax and not worry; all he could do was worry, even whilst high.

Mickey looked away from the quickly dimming sky to glance at Ian who’s eyes locked on him, troubled yet in awe.

“You ‘right?” he wondered with a soft smile

“Yeah, Mick, I’m good” Ian’s voice nearly came out a whisper

“What’re you thinking about?”

Ian pursed his lips, staring back out to the ocean as he ran his fingers up and down Mickey’s back.

“Nothing, really…”

Mickey huffed, keeping his eyes on him, “I call bullshit”

“Mick…” Ian pleaded softly, grabbing onto his shoulder as he looked him in the eye, the look on his face saying ‘ _please don’t worry about me_ ’

“What?”

Ian gave a sad smile before leaning in, pressing a kiss that Mickey instantly sunk into. The two of them gripped into each other’s hair as they kissed sickeningly sweet and slow. A kiss that could show Ian’s fears so he wouldn’t have to speak them, a kiss that said _I love you, and I’m not going anywhere even if it kills me_.

The intensity of the kiss made Mickey’s breath shake as his heart pounded, just wanting all the answers to help Ian feel better, but this seemed to help for now.

The once hot orange sun was now resting below the waves, releasing cold fresh air that swept through them. Ian slowly broke away, stealing one or two more kisses before completely pulling away.

“Maybe we should head home now?”

Mickey smiled, nodding, “yeah, let’s do that”

They stood up, Chico instantly rising with them as Mickey tugged at the lead.

Ian gave Chico a look before looking at Mickey.

“How is it that he’s so calm this time but when I went with him he was a piece of shit?” he wondered.

“Because there’s no bitches for him to look at” he smirked, making his way off the beach, Ian following close behind with a scoff.

“Is that right? Well next time I’ll make sure to take him when no one else is around”

 

Once they took the step around the corner onto their street, Ian couldn’t help but feel that fear of the unknown crawl under his skin again.

Mickey somehow sensed this, recognizing the way his brows furrowed and lips tightened like he was trying to solve a problem that didn’t exist yet.

He grabbed a hold of Ian’s hand, entwining their fingers as they walked. Ian instantly felt himself come to life, adrenaline rushing through him as he looked up at Mickey who gave him a soft smile.

Mickey wasn’t scared to show his love for Ian and that fact alone inspired Ian to stick to his goal, because he had to face this fear of André and get out of this town so he could fix this mess he got himself into, and help Mickey fix the mess he had created with the government.

Ian looped fingers with Mickey’s filled with pride. Maybe it was just a hand-hold to Mickey, but to Ian it meant something far more important. That they were going stick together this time around.

“Hand holding” Ian began to comment, admiring how Mickey’s hand looked in his own, “would you ever try this shit back home?”

Mickey looked at him as if that were a stupid question, “Of course I would, we just never got the chance”

_We never had the chance_

Ian just nodded as if to agree before changing the subject.

“So, André gets home tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah” Mickey confirmed, “Why?” he wondered, looking at Ian.

“No reason, just wondering if you still want to keep _this_ up?” he asked as if he needed reassurance.

“What makes you ask that?” Mickey asked in return, brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of it.

“I don’t know” Ian replied as they turned onto their driveway, “maybe you were having second guesses or something”

Mickey was almost offended by what Ian had said as they approached the front door. He opened the door and unhooked Chico’s leash to let him run inside.

Ian stood there, unknowing of what Mickey was thinking at this moment and it was beginning to frighten him.

“Mick?”

Mickey stood up properly, turning to Ian with a sigh as he cupped his face, looking deep into his eyes with what could only be described as hopeless devotion.

“Ian, I could never second guess you”

Those words stunned Ian in a way he couldn’t even describe. He just stared back in awe, feeling his eyes sting from the thousands of emotions coursing through him.

Mickey mouth twitched into a soft smile noticing how overwhelmed Ian suddenly seemed. He leaned in and Ian instantly eased into the soft kiss Mickey gave him.

They pulled away, still resting their foreheads together for just a moment before Mickey pulled away completely, allowing cold air to envelop Ian.

“Alright, enough of the gooey shit. Let’s go watch Lilo & Stitch or some shit so it cheers your ass up” Mickey sneered as he made his way inside.

Ian scoffed, following close behind, “Well, _excuse_ me mister _‘I Cried Three Times Whilst Watching Moana’_ ”

“Hey!” Mickey snapped, looking over at him, “I told you that’s a secret!”

Ian nearly snorted, closing the front door, “Who’s gonna hear you? The dog?”

Mickey just smirked, nodding at him to come closer

“come here”

“No” Ian replied simply with a bright grin on his face.

“Come here you piece of shit!” Mickey commented playfully, going to tackle Ian

The pair of them laugh as they tackled playfully.

“I will fuck you up” Mickey chuckled, trying to get his arms around Ian’s waist.

 Ian shoved him off, taking off down the hall as he called out;

“I’d love to see you try!”

Mickey just shook his head, his smile bright as he couldn’t fight back his laughter, chasing Ian down the hallway.

 

Hours after their playful fight that led to multiple hours of prosperous love making, Mickey slept peacefully in Ian’s bed, his arms hugging the pillow he rested upon, the sheets resting around his hips as the curve in his waist sat bare, a perfect place for Ian to loop his arm across.

But Ian wasn’t asleep. He was sitting up, knees to his chest as he just watched Mickey dream about anything better than the reality they were in.

Ian often wondered if Mickey dreamed of him, and how many of those dreams were of the two of them living freely and happily with a family of their own, just like the ones Ian had.

The truth in it all was that Ian had no idea what Mickey’s intentions ever were or ever will be.

Mickey was good at hiding things like that, and maybe that was the exciting part. The unknown.

But the main foundation of building a future together was love, which is what they already shared.

If they managed to fix the mess they were in and found a place to call their own where they could love as freely as they did now, maybe then they could start to build the future they deserved.

Ian shook his head, trying to get these lovey-dovey thoughts and images out of his head.

Glancing at his phone, Ian felt instantly disheartened knowing it was 4am and that André would be home later today.

He didn’t want to waste any time he had left to be alone with Mickey, but decided to finally try and sleep, even if he wasn’t that tired, but this meant that when he woke up, Mickey would be up also, and they could continue to fight, talk, love and fuck just like they’re supposed to.

Ian switched off the lamp and carefully sunk down into the bed, looping his arm around Mickey’s warm body—right where it belonged.

He honestly had no idea what was to come out of this situation, but there was one thing he did know.

“ _I love you…_ ” Ian whispered softly onto Mickey’s bare skin.

He was going to fight against all odds to make sure this man he held was happy, and that determination he felt was the only thing keeping him going right now.

He pressed a light kiss to Mickey’s back and shut his eyes, just cuddling into this beautiful man he cherished so deeply.

One day, they were going to be safe and happy together, just like they deserved to be.


	18. Chapter 18

The aromatic scent of coffee filled the air surrounding Mickey, who had already had two cups of the beverage today, but wanted to make a cup for Ian to help him get out of bed.

He knew Ian was up late last night, just like he probably was the night before.

He also heard those soft words pressing against his back, making a mark upon Mickey that he swore he could still feel.

It filled Mickey with a euphoria he hadn’t felt in a while—a feeling of true happiness, but he knew they were probably said for the wrong reasons.

So, he ignored them.

Mickey has no idea what’s been on Ian’s mind for the past few days, but ever since his ‘ _slip_ ’ he just hasn’t been the same and Mickey does worry about Ian’s well-being, he worries he isn’t the good person Ian originally fell in love with. He’s worried he’s put Ian through a challenge he truly can’t handle.

He’s worried he’ll fuck up, and accidentally leave Ian in the dust.

The thing about Ian, was that he _truly_ is an angel to Mickey. A Savior. A Protector. A Soulmate.

Someone Mickey probably didn’t deserve. Not anymore.

He hated himself, deeply. Mickey liked to pretend and act as if his past actions haven’t caused him to regret the life he’s led himself to, but he did. He regretted every step of the way.

Mickey shouldn’t have let Ian break his heart, he shouldn’t have said he was guilty for Sammi’s attempted murder when they hardly had any evidence; he shouldn’t have busted out of prison. He should’ve fought for his own innocence; he should’ve plead not guilty and asked for a retrial.

He shouldn’t have allowed Ian to leave him at the border, but Mickey just wasn’t that selfish.

Right now, Mickey and Ian could’ve been living a great life together. Ian could be an EMT, and maybe Mickey could work doing dirty jobs no one wanted to do, but did them because they paid well.

They could’ve had their own place to rent, secluded from their fucked-up families as they enjoyed just being together, and Yevgeny probably would come over on weekends where Ian and Mickey would sneak into a baseball game with him, or even go to the zoo.

They could’ve been the family they never had whilst growing up. Now that wasn’t possible.

Sure, he had a good life, a good job and a great dog, but he will never feel as happy as he did with Ian back home in Chicago, where they did what they had to do for cash, and had a shit load of things going on around them, but they always made it work. They loved each other endlessly despite all odds.

They were free.

Now they had taken a thousand steps backwards, and Mickey had no clue what was possibly to come.

All he knew was that he had to continue pretending to love André, when he was so deeply in love with someone else—with Ian.

 

Mickey made his way upstairs, the wood creaking slightly beneath his feet as he approached the door to Ian’s room with a cup of coffee in hand. He crept the door open and was greeted by the sight of a peacefully sleeping Ian Gallagher.

He couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto his face as he made his way over to the side of the bed where Ian slept.

Mickey crouched down to meet with his sweet face, feeling himself ache only the slightest at the bruise that still sat upon his temple.

There was no way a table could’ve caused a bruise like that, not when the scratch is more of a wound than an actual scratch.

He placed his free hand on Ian’s cheek, stroking gently with his thumb to wake Ian up.

“Hey” he spoke softly, Ian furrowed his brows, feeling exhaustion all over his body.

“What?” Ian muttered, ignoring the scent of coffee under his nose

“You need to wake up, André will be here soon”

“What?” Ian repeated, opening his eyes to look at Mickey who gave him an almost apologetic look.

“It’s 11, man” he sighed, “but I got you some coffee”

Ian exhaled and made the effort to sit up, Mickey gravitating with him to sit on the edge of the bed.

Ian wiped his tired eyes before scrunching up his bed-head, he gave Mickey a slight smile as he took the coffee from his grip.

“Thanks”

“Don’t worry about it” he smiled kindly, getting off the bed to go get dressed.

“Mick?” Ian wondered, warming his hands on the hot cup.

Mickey turned to him, “what?”

“Can you just go get me my meds from the bathroom?” he asked, “Please?”

“Sure” Mickey shrugged, making his way to Ian’s bathroom.

Ian watched and couldn’t help the sadness within his chest. André wasn’t even here yet and already Mickey seemed to distance himself, as if it were troubling him. Truth was, it was troubling Ian, too. But probably for a very different reason.

He was honestly a bit disheartened, knowing that he wasn’t awake earlier to spend more time with Mickey before the big-bad Mexican came rolling in the door.

“All three of them?” Mickey questioned as he went through Ian’s toiletry bag.

“Yep!” Ian confirmed, “All three!”

Mickey came back out with the boxes, reading the names of the medications.

“Shouldn’t you be having these at the same time every day?”

Ian gave him an annoyed look, “Yes, Mickey, and maybe I forgot a day or two, but I’m getting back on track”

Mickey was less than impressed by that but kept his mouth shut, opening the boxes to pop the pills out the packets for Ian.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Ian suddenly questioned, sipping the coffee.

“Because you were clearly fuckin’ tired” Mickey responded, making his way over to Ian, “You fell asleep way later than I did”

Ian just huffed, taking the pills from Mickey’s palm and popped them into his mouth, downing them with a gulp of coffee.

“So, that means no time to spoon in bed?” Ian spoke with a flirtatious smirk.

Mickey just shook his head with a laugh, heading towards the door.

“Get out of bed and get dressed, asshole”

 

The two men were downstairs with half an hour to go, just playing the radio outside as they prepared for lunch. Mickey felt nice enough to prepare the outdoor dining area, after Ian told him to do it about 15 times.

What could he say? It was a nice day out and Mickey probably had a lot of sucking-up to do.

Back inside the house, Mickey approached the kitchen fridge, pulling out a beer for himself.

“What’re you drinking?” Mickey wondered

“Just a soda will be fine” Ian assured, pulling himself up to sit on the counter, just watching Mickey pull out a cola and pass it to him, “thanks”

He cracked open the can at the same time as Mickey, the two having a decent sip before placing it down on the counter Ian sat upon.

“Do you think he’ll be here on time?” Ian asked curiously

“He usually is, sometimes earlier” Mickey explained, placing his hands upon Ian’s thighs that had a perfect space between them for Mickey to sink into.

“Why does time always go so fast with you?” Ian spoke shyly, his fingers picking as the seam of his shorts.

Mickey smiled sadly, leaning into that space between Ian’s legs. He honestly had no idea what to say.

Ian filled the silence, “Maybe it’s just because I have a fucked up sleeping pattern” he joked with a smirk.

Mickey let out a laugh, agreeing with that.

“Yeah, maybe”

The ginger man sitting on the counter smiled down at the man he cherished, his hands reaching for Mickey’s cheeks. Mickey didn’t oblige, leaning onto his tippy-toes to press his lips to Ian.

It was probably the only opportunity they had today to kiss each other like this, slow and enticing in the middle of the kitchen. Mickey grabbed a hold of Ian’s soft hair as they moved together in a perfect motion, only tasting one another just slightly.

They truly did love one another. If only their love made everything easier.

Chico went stampeding through the house towards the front door with a bark, causing Ian and Mickey to instantly break away, feeling distant and cold.

“Shit!” Mickey muttered, taking another swig of his beer before going after the dog.

Ian just watched him make his way down the hallway, wishing André wasn’t here so early. All he wanted was to keep his lips on Mickey’s for just that little bit longer.

But he let it go, jumping off the counter so he could go welcome the man at the door.

He tried to forget the anxiety he felt towards him as he made his way down the hall. This would be the first interaction with André since the assault. He wasn’t sure what to do but put a smile on his face and keep telling himself it never happened, even though it did. This situation was real, but Ian couldn’t accept it for the sake of Mickey’s safety.

Just the sound of his voice made Ian grow goosebumps of fear.

“Daddy’s home!” André sung, patting the dog that rolled onto his back so he could receive belly-rubs.

Ian entered the entryway and just looked at Mickey who smiled as if he were happy André was home, even though that most likely wasn’t the case.

Ian found it hard to hold back the need to touch Mickey and comfort him. Mickey looked as trapped as Ian felt within his own mind and he hated it.

André stood up from the dog, eyes locking on Ian for only a second before greeting Mickey.

Maybe it was only a second, but it felt like several minutes. It was a threatening glare. One of those ‘ _You better have been good_ ’ glares.

It honestly made him want to fight back, but he restrained himself.

“Hola baby” André greeted Mickey with a soft smile, the two sharing a quick peck.

A quick peck upon the lips Ian had kept warm.

“How was it?” Mickey asked, “Wherever you went?”

“Good!” He spoke, flashing a smile and ended the conversation at that.

Suddenly, another voice came from outside.

“Hey Cabrón! You going to help me with this, or what!?” the familiar voice shouted.

Ian recognized it almost immediately, a real smile on his face now.

_Daniel_

André rolled his eyes, turning to pull open the door for his chauffer.

Daniel came strolling in, a duffle hanging over one shoulder as he held containers of food in his hands.

“Why do I have to do everything for you?” Daniel continued to whine.

Ian smirked before looking at Mickey who was staring at the man in the entryway as if he felt threatened.

By this stage Mickey had to know that Ian only had eyes for him, not Daniel, but clearly you can’t get over jealously that simply.

“Daniel, hey!” Ian beamed, making his way over, “Let me help you with that” he offered

“Hey, man! Thanks” Daniel smiled, passing a couple of the warm containers before practically throwing André’s duffle at him.

André caught it, giving his cousin an unimpressed look before looking at Mickey.

“Can you take this to my room?”

Mickey scoffed, arms crossed, “I’m not your fucking maid”

“Just go do it!” He almost yelled, handing over the bag.

Ian froze, fire rising inside of him as he wanted to throw the containers of food in his stupid face.

How dare he speak to Mickey that way.

Mickey snatched the bag as Daniel shoved Ian’s arm lightly to snap him out of it.

“Come with me” he muttered into Ian’s ear, walking towards the kitchen.

Ian just let out a frustrated sigh and followed Daniel, trying not to worry of what André was capable of.

Daniel and Ian placed the containers on the counter and Ian quickly reached for his drink, having another gulp to help subside his anxiety.

“Ian!” André called as he entered the room, “set the table”

Ian’s fingers crinkled around the can with frustration before meeting with Daniel’s eyes, to which he gave an assuring look telling Ian it was okay.

“We set the table outside” Ian explained, turning to the man who clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

“Well, set a plate for Daniel, will you?” he asked, “I’m going to go get changed”

Daniel had already started helping himself to a beer and pulled out a plate for himself as André said this, leaving Ian completely confused at his rage.

André made his way out of the room, leaving Ian and Daniel alone for the moment.

“The fucks wrong with him?” Ian muttered, turning to Daniel who was now opening the containers of food.

“Killed a guy last night” Daniel told him casually, pulling some of the meat into his mouth, “This stuffs from tia Rosa’s. We stopped by and she gave us her leftovers. Still warm!” he explained, dancing around the subject.

Ian furrowed his brows, making his way around to where Daniel was.

“Isn’t he used to killing people?”

“Yeah but this was different. It was someone he actually knew” Daniel clarified, “Can you help me bring this stuff outside?”

“Yep” Ian nodded, grabbing the containers, following Daniel, “I don’t know how he does it”

“He has about as much choice as the rest of us, even you” Daniel continued, placing the containers in the middle of the table, Ian just followed and did the same.

“So, that means I should feel sorry for him?” Ian wondered, making Daniel laugh

“Fuck no, he was the only one who wanted to do this”

Ian pursed his lips, trying to grasp how anyone would willingly want to kill for a living.

“How was your day without him, anyway?” Daniel asked, turning to Ian, “get laid?”

Ian couldn’t fight his smirk as he became flustered, “Yeah, a few times”

“Ah! Congrats” He grinned, “he going to leave the fucker?”

Ian shrugged, “No idea”

Daniel let out an exhausted sigh, as if this situation was draining him even though he wasn’t even involved.

“God, he doesn’t let you breathe, does he?”

“Shut up” Ian chuckled, shoving him playfully.

 

Lunch was interesting to say the least. As beers sunk into André’s consciousness his angst towards the men sitting with him at the table disappeared, whilst Mickey sat by his side, staring across the table at Ian and Daniel who seemed far happier than the couple opposing them.

Mickey knew Ian didn’t feel anything towards the man he sat next to, but he couldn’t help but feel the need to pounce every time Daniel placed a hand upon Ian’s shoulder, or they laughed about something that clearly was a joke between them.

“You’re quiet” André pointed out, gulping down his beer.

“I’m always quiet” Mickey responded, helping himself to more salad.

André gave him a look of worry before pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Te amo” He whispered softly, Mickey exhaled, trying to fight the need he had to walk back inside and take a long, cold shower.

“Te amo” he returned, smiling fondly at his boyfriend.

Ian watched how Mickey interacted with André and could feel his hunger diminish faster than hoped. Nothing about this was natural, and every time Mickey’s eyes met with Ian’s, they could feel their hearts ache for one another—for this to be easier.

Daniel and André got into a loud conversation mostly in Spanish about something only they cared about, just leaving Ian and Mickey alone with their thoughts that were filled with wants and fears. Ian was ripping at his napkin, whilst Mickey picked at the top of his beer can, just avoiding the hollow sadness they held deep within their chests.

“Oh man that was a good night!” André laughed, clapping his hands, “we should do it again”

“Yeah, for sure!” Daniel agreed, glugging back his beer.

“How about tonight?” the older cousin asked

Daniel shook his head, placing the can down, “No way, I have to head back to Guanajuato”

André frowned, looking at Mickey, “Mick?”

“Huh?” Mickey snapped out of his daze, “nah, can’t. Got work”

That was when André’s eyes met with Ian’s, curious and hopeful.

“Ian?”

Ian shifted his eyes for a second, every fiber in his being wanting to say no. But this was a man capable of murder; a man that held Ian in a chokehold only days ago.

“I could show you the uh, nightlife!” André continued with a beaming smile, “and we can get to know each other better”

His smile now turned knowing and slightly devilish. Mickey looked at Ian cautiously, not knowing how to feel about this or what to say to help Ian get out of it.

But Ian acted calm, despite how uneasy the idea made him feel.

“Sure!” He smiled kindly, “sounds good”

“Alright—Danny, drop us on the way?”

Daniel huffed, “fine”

André cheered and Mickey rolled his eyes, pulling out his smokes and placing one between his lips, lighting it up as Daniel willingly started pulling the finished plates of food over to him so he could stack them.

Ian offered to help so he could escape the more than awkward lunch-time conversations, grabbing the empty containers and cans to bring them inside.

 

Daniel packed the dishwasher and Ian put the empty containers into the bin, placing another container full of leftovers into the fridge.

There was a strange tension in the air, like Daniel wanted to say something but couldn’t. Most likely because André was so close by, as well as Mickey.

The couple came in the door a moment later with anything else that was left on the table, placing it on the counter.

“Well I’m going to go have a nap before _André and Ian’s Big Night Out_ ” André grinned playfully, wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist.

Ian just looked over at them with a slight scoff, “We’re naming it now?”

“Yep! We’re going to have fun” he assured, that devilish grin still on his face.

Ian laughed, finding humor in Mickey’s facial expressions towards that.

“Good idea, take a fuckin’ shower while you’re at it” Mickey commented, lightheartedly pushing him away.

André chuckled, slapping Mickey ass playfully, causing his boyfriend to jolt before making his way down the hall. Ian tried not to observe the annoyed expression on Mickey’s face.

The three men stood in the kitchen silent for a moment until they knew he was far enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear what they said.

“You really want to do this?” Daniel wondered, closing the dishwasher.

“Yeah” Mickey added, “thought you hated him?”

“I do” Ian affirmed before looking at Daniel, giving him a look as if to say ‘ _I didn’t have a choice_ ’

Daniel gave an empathetic look before Mickey continued to speak.

“What’s with him anyway? He’s snappy one fucking minute then happy as shit the next”

“Well he’s not bipolar” Ian muttered jokingly, moving to grab a new drink from the fridge, Mickey just huffed in response.

“He’s just going through some shit” Daniel tried to give an explanation, “He’ll be fine. He just needs to blow off some steam”

“I’m sure” Mickey mumbled, looking at Ian who seemed agitated, cracking open his soda to take a gulp as his mind circled with possibilities of what could happen tonight.

“Well, I gotta go piss” Mickey excused himself, making his exit so he could escape the excruciating moment, leaving Ian and Daniel to do whatever they liked.

Daniel bit his lip, awkwardly looking at Ian who leaned against the counter now, staring at his soda can as if he were waiting for it to do something magical.

“You okay?” Daniel asked softly, leaning next to Ian on the counter.

“Yeah, just wondering how this will go since the only Mexican nightclub I went to just led to me blowing some guy in an alleyway”

“Jesus” Daniel muttered, “well, just hold onto your drink and you should be fine”

“I’m not worried” Ian told him, “It’ll just be awkward and it feels like he only brought it up and asked me so he can threaten me some more”

“Doubtful”

Ian just looked at him unenthusiastically

“What? If you don’t want to go, don’t”

“I do want to go” Ian told him, Daniel gave him a look to which Ian corrected, “Well, I don’t, but it’ll give me the opportunity to ask him things”

Ian placed his drink down as Daniel nodded, his big green eyes locking onto Ian’s.

“Just be careful, alright?”

“Of course” Ian smiled softly

Daniel couldn’t help but return the same soft smile, eyes trailing to the bruise upon Ian’s forehead.

“God, he really got into you, didn’t he?” he observed

“Yeah” Ian huffed, “doesn’t matter now”

A sad smile reached Daniel’s face now, “you’ll always matter”

Ian just huffed, trying to beat the romantic tension by having a sip of his drink.

Daniel’s pocket dinged like a bell and he pulled his phone out with a heavy sigh.

“I gotta go visit Marco”

Ian placed down his drink with a nod, “He got out?”

“Yeah, barely” Daniel chuckled, putting the phone back into his pocket, “I’ll be around later to pick you up, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good” Ian smiled standing properly as Daniel embraced him with a goodbye hug.

His arms wrapped around Ian’s neck whilst Ian’s wrapped around his waist, the two swaying as they hugged warmly for just a moment.

Ian wasn’t sure if it were romantic, but the dynamic they shared was certainly interesting, like they were supposed to be friends, and in a past life they were probably lovers, or maybe even brothers.

Daniel looked over at the hallway to notice Mickey stood there, still as Ian and Daniel shared their moment. Despite the three words Ian whispered last night, Mickey couldn’t fight his doubts.

They pulled away from their hug, Daniel locking back onto Ian as he carefully stroked his thumb over the bruise.

“I’m going to bash his head in” he spoke so softly only Ian could hear, the two laughed.

“ _Sure_ you will”

Daniel grinned, moving his hand away

“See you, Gallagher”

“See you” Ian smiled kindly, turning to find Mickey standing there, clearly offended.

The smile instantly wiped away from Ian’s face as Daniel made his way past the lover.

“Bye, Mikhailo” Daniel smirked, Mickey just nodded in response.

Ian bit his lip, staring at Mickey whose brows were raised high, sucking in his cheeks as he bit back the need to cause a fight.

 _He’s not yours,_ Mickey reminded himself, _not really. Not anymore._

The door shut behind the gorgeous Californian. Leaving Ian and Mickey finally alone again.

Ian swigged back his soda, trying to ignore Mickey’s stand-offish posture.

“You sure you not fucking him, too?” Mickey asked abruptly.

Ian nearly choked, placing the can down, “ _Jesus_ , Mick. No”

Mickey acted like he didn’t want to believe him, making his way to grab a beer from the fridge.

“Besides, he’s the one who cock-blocked me” Ian continued, turning to Mickey who slammed the fridge, opening the bottle in one swift movement.

“Really? So, you wanted him, huh?” He grinned distastefully, swigging the beverage.

Ian rolled his eyes, but couldn’t fight his smirk. He liked when Mickey was jealous, it was his guilty pleasure. It showed he cared, that he would protect Ian endlessly.

“Not really, just a rebound fuck” Ian replied casually with a shrug.

“Huh” Mickey scoffed, tongue in cheek as he sat on that thought for a minute, “Well I better head up there and make sure my boyfriend isn’t having a fucking meltdown over soap”

“Right”

“I’ll come hang with you once he’s in bed” Mickey told him simply as he walked away to make his way upstairs.

Ian sighed and stared down at Chico who made his way around to say hello. Ian just smiled at the dog before looking up, staring at the pictures of Mickey and André on the fridge; he was beginning to wonder if those pictures would ever be taken down.

He was starting to think he may have to leave Mickey again and come back in another year. Not because he wanted to, but because his life back in Chicago seemed to depend on it.

 

Mickey and Ian sat together on Ian’s unmade bed with Chico, just hanging out whilst the time passed before he went to work and André woke up for _André and Ian’s Big Night Out_.

Ian was still unsure how to feel and what the night had in store but he wasn’t mad about it. He would be out of the house, and he could find out more about André and why he is who he is.

Mickey sat by Chico, playing with his floppy soft ears whilst they spoke about whatever came to mind.

But then silence struck and Mickey got curious.

“Why’d you say yes to going out?”

Ian shrugged, leaning on the pillows he had piled up to keep his back comfortable.

“bored, I guess”

Mickey just nodded, focusing on patting Chico.

Ian continued, “what do you have against me hanging out with your boyfriend? Isn’t that what you’d want?”

“Since when has that been what I fuckin’ want?” Mickey scoffed, looking at Ian now.

“Dunno. Guess it was just an assumption.”

“Yeah, a fucking dumb one” Mickey spoke, harsh in tone.

Ian just sat and watched Mickey as he moved his hands away from the dog, putting out the flames of anger within him as he looked at Ian apologetically now.

“I just—I don’t know who he is half the fucking time anymore, and I don’t know what he’s like when I’m not around” Mickey said, a hint of insecurity in his voice.

Ian smiled sadly, “Did you want me to tell you what I find out?”

Mickey instantly shook his head, “Nah” he assured, “I’d rather—What’s it called? Ignorance is bliss or some bullshit”

A laugh leapt from Ian, “yeah Mick. Ignorance is bliss”

“Right” Mickey spoke with a nod, looking at the Labrador that slept happily by his side.

Ian sighed, giving a tight smile at the sleeping dog before looking at Mickey, just admiring how soft he looked right now, legs wrapped in the messy sheets of Ian’s bed.

Frankly, he looked a little lonely, too, and it made Ian want to just hold him close for whatever time they had left.

“Mick…” Ian begun, catching Mickey’s attention

“What?”

“You know I wouldn’t get with Daniel, or André, or any other boy I meet here, right?”

Mickey’s bright blue eyes locked onto Ian’s, feeling his heart flutter as he gave a gentle smile, realizing that fact.

“Yeah I know” he said, but the tone in his voice spoke with vulnerability.

Ian moved from his position on the bed to crawl closer, kneeling as he cupped Mickey’s face in his palms to look up at him.

“I didn’t come all this way to meet someone new” he reminded Mickey, “I came here for you”

Mickey felt his eyes sting, knowing well that Ian was here for him—but that wasn’t troubled him. It was the fact that he couldn’t be whoever Ian needed him to be right now, whilst men like Daniel fall into his lap and he just pushes them away, all for the sake of Mickey.

It was a bittersweet feeling he had, because although he loved Ian, he knew he deserved better.

He deserved a Daniel, not a Mickey.

Ian leaned down and their lips met, motioning so gently it brought their senses to life. Mickey slowly let his eyes shut, allowing Ian to taste him and tease only the slightest just how they liked.

The kiss was phenomenal, as always. That spark spread through them both as they grasped onto one another like they needed each other just to breathe, but the heavy feeling on Mickey’s shoulders today just wasn’t disappearing.

This was a feeling far stronger than others, because the reality of it all was sinking in. He would have to try and let Ian go again. No matter what Ian says, there’s no way he could fix this. It was too late.

Ian went to cup Mickey’s crotch and Mickey quickly caught his hand, pulling away slowly.

“Sorry” he mumbled, not wanting to look up in Ian’s disappointed eyes, “not in the mood”

A soft and understanding smile spread across Ian’s face as he nodded, pressing a kiss against Mickey’s forehead.

“It’s okay” Ian softly whispered, pulling away from Mickey completely to sit on the bed.

Mickey looked at him with a fond smile, reaching his arms around Ian’s neck for a hug, to which Ian grabbed a hold of his waist and moved him so he was laying against the pillows with him.

The two just cuddled closely, Ian’s face pressed to Mickey’s neck as he just breathed in the comforting smell he brought, Mickey ran his fingers through Ian’s hair.

“Be careful tonight” he whispered wishfully, “text or call if you have to, I’ll come running”

Ian chuckled softly, moving his head so he could look down at Mickey.

“As if you could run to where I’ll be”

“hey!” Mickey told him off, “don’t fuckin’ doubt me”

Ian smirked, “I don’t”

Their lips locked together again in a meaningful embrace as they sunk into the aura surrounding them, just enjoying this delicate moment alone before Mickey went to work and Ian had music and alcohol violently racing through his viens.

Ian wasn’t sure what tonight would bring, but he hoped he was ready for whatever came his way

* * *

 

The crappy old car rolled up to the inconspicuous club that sat in an alleyway. Despite the sun only just setting over the ocean, men were already lining up to get in the doors whilst two security guards stood close by to keep an eye out.

“Have fun, joto’s” Daniel spoke teasingly with a smirk.

“We will” André grinned, “Have fun sucking Marco’s pito so Antonio forgives him”

“Shut the fuck up”

Ian laughed as he opened the car door, “thanks for dropping us, Daniel”

“¡Claro! Anytime gringo” he smiled, “I would say call if you need me but I won’t be here”

“That’s cool!” Ian responded, patting his shoulder from the backseat, “See ya!”

“Bye!” Daniel called out as Ian got out, closing the door.

Ian pulled out his cigarettes, placing one between his lips as he waited for André. He lit it and inhaled deeply, feeling instant relief as André took his time getting out of the car.

The door slammed, waking Ian to his senses as he looked over at the tall, buff Mexican man as Daniel drove off.

Who needed security when you had André?

“You like those death sticks too, huh?” André scoffed, walking ahead of Ian and making his way to the end of the line.

Ian exhaled, following closely, “everyone back home smokes”

“Have you seen this line? Half the population here do, too” he chortled, looking back at Ian with a grin, “don’t worry, I won’t punch you for it”

“Ha” Ian forced, not amused by the sick humor as he lifted the cigarette back to his lips.

 

They finally found their place in the line and stood awkwardly for half a second before André started a conversation.

“So, this must bring back some memories for you?”

Ian huffed, the smoke exhaling through his nose.

“Which one? The part where my mom introduced me to sugar daddies, or when I literally became an object for men to use and abuse?”

André was thrown aback by the statement, “Shit, sorry” he mumbled

“It’s fine” Ian shrugged off, continuing his chain-smoking session.

“Well, I meant when Antonio found you at the back of the club”

“Oh yeah” Ian laughed slightly, “that’s a good one”

“Daniel told you everything you have to know, right?” André was quick to wonder

“Yeah, he did” Ian told him, looking down at the ground as he kicked at a bottle cap.

André just nodded with a hum, looking at the men surrounding him, Ian looked at him and felt slightly offended.

“What are you doing?”

“What?” André asked as if he were clueless

“Are you looking for another guy to fuck?” Ian asked without hesitation

“Sh!” André back-handing his arm, “how do you even know about that?”

Up until this point Ian had forgotten that André didn’t even know he knew about the open-relationship status.

“Mickey told me” he lied before asking, “how often do you pick up a new guy?”

“Not that often, but I sleep with the same guys all the time”

Ian puffed the smoke from his lungs, “So, you have more than relationship?”

“Not really” André tried to explain, “They’re more like casual-fucks on the side. Mikhailo is my first real commitment”

Ian’s brows furrowed, trying to think how being with a guy you love whilst fucking others is a commitment, but he didn’t question that part of it.

“You must love really love Mickey then”

The words felt bitter on Ian’s tongue, but the taste of nicotine easily covered it up.

André shrugged, “to be honest with you, some days I’m not so sure”

“What do you mean?” Ian became pensive, inhaling the remainder of his smoke.

“Mickey was lured by my gang when he first got here. I pulled them off when I realized he had nothing. I felt bad for the kid, he looked like a ruin, so I took him in and a relationship grew. I’m not sure if what I feel is love, but I care for him. Which I have never felt for someone that wasn’t family before.”

Ian tried not to let the distasteful grin take over his face as he put out his cigarette.

André continued, “Please don’t tell Mickey”

“I won’t” Ian instantly assured, looking up at him, “promise”

 

Once inside the club, they instantly got beers into their systems and both became an open book about almost everything. They spoke about their upbringing, shitty parents, personal experiences, Daniel and Mickey.

It helped him understand André better and become less afraid. Ian kept forgetting he was the reason he had a huge bruise on his forehead.

The music slowly got louder as the night went on, thumping in time to Ian’s current heartbeat. The alcohol certainly did help relieve whatever anxiety Ian held, his mind free as the drinks made him crave for a certain dark-haired, pale, blue eyed man Ian would like to call his baby.  

Bright lights danced around the room making Ian want to get on the dancefloor after downing yet another drink, but André stopped him.

“Have you ever had wet pussy!?” He screamed over the loud music, hand gripping onto Ian’s arm.

Ian was instantly confused, shouting back

“Once! I didn’t like it though!” He admitted, “too slimy! I’m 100% gay!”

André let out a laugh so loud it almost dominated the music.

“I’m not talking about real pussy, pendejo!” he shouted through his laughter, “I’m talking about the shot!”

“Oh!” Ian felt his face burn up with embarrassment, “Well, no!”

“Okay, come!” he pulled, nodding towards the bar

Ian allowed him to lead the way, pulling him through the large crowd of sweaty drunk people dancing to the bar in the center of the place.

He grabbed onto the lit-up counter, the alcohol finding amusement at how it glowed different colors.

André ordered the shots in Spanish, describing what to put in it as Ian stood there in a daze. He looked at Ian.

“What drink do you want!? Another beer!?” he wondered, “I’ll shout!”

Ian hesitated, trying to form an intelligent thought.

“Uh, vodka-soda!”

“Clásico” André smirked before telling the bartender their next two drinks.

The bartender nodded, walking away to make the drinks. André leaned into Ian’s ear to speak.

“By the way, I don’t like slimy pussy either” he chuckled, “100% gay”

Ian pulled away from him with a laugh, giving him an understanding smile.

 

The drinks came and they downed all four of what would be the best pussy Ian’s ever had and would ever be willing to taste again before heading to the dancefloor with their drinks.

Ian wasn’t sure what was in those drinks, but it got every bone in his body moving to the music.

André was close by, both faded from the alcohol in their systems as they grooved as if no one was around—except there was, and some were wanting to dance with them.

Ian downed his vodka-soda, passing it to a waiter that was squeezing his way through the crowd before embracing the hands of a stranger on his hips, the two grinding and dancing, Ian couldn’t feel anything but the music in his heart, pulling all his best moves on this man.

He turned to face the stranger arms over his shoulder.

The man was kind of cute, he could probably be considered underage if it weren’t for his wise brown eyes. His soft features smiled, impressed by Ian, or at least that’s what Ian liked to believe.

Then Ian’s eyes stared across the dancefloor to find André’s tongue down another man’s throat, his smile sinking immediately, not being able to understand why André just couldn’t be a decent human being for just one night.

He met back with the now confused man he danced with and pulled away, signaling with his hands that he had to leave. The man seemed understanding and nodded, making his way further through the crowd of people.

Ian pushed his way in the opposite direction, heading towards André who was becoming more than inappropriate.

He reached André and nudged his arm, making him pull away.

André turned to Ian with confusion, “What!?”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!?”

André just rolled his eyes and moved away from the man he danced with, grabbing Ian’s hand with his own free hand, the other held a new drink, some fancy cocktail in a small glass that would look huge in Ian’s hands.

“Come! ¡bailar conmigo!” André prompted, placing his drink in Ian’s hand as he pulled him further into the dance floor.

Ian downed the alcoholic concoction, not even thinking about what toll it could have on his already intoxicated brain and liver.

“Good boy!” André sneered playfully, taking the glass from his hand to give to a waiter nearby.

Even drunk, nothing felt good about this. André’s hands lingered to Ian’s hips and he tried to keep focus on the music, moving along with the rest of the club in time. Ian even turned around so he wouldn’t be facing the large intimidating man who held Ian’s hands now, crossing his arms across his body as he pulled him in close.

That was when the panic truly began to rise, Ian’s head spinning as he came down from whatever high he was on, all he could feel was André’s needy dick against his back and he knew he had more than enough of this.

He turned back to André with a look of shock but André couldn’t even register it, pulling him close as he pressed a kiss to Ian’s neck.

Ian instantly pushed away, nothing yet everything adding up in his head as he took off, breaking through the crowd to get out the door.

“Ian!” André shouted, not sure why Ian had reacted this way before chasing him out.

 

Drunk and livid, Ian ran. He didn’t even know where he was but he ran, his head feeling light and heavy at the same time. Something was wrong, he couldn’t breathe.

Maybe it was because he wouldn’t stop running?

“Ian!” André shouted as he caught up, grabbing onto his arm to stop him.

Ian shoved him away and turned to him, “fuck off!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” He slurred

“You drugged me!” He accused, finger pointing and all, startling the hit-man

“What!?”

“That’s something you’d do! You kill for a living. you’re trying to kill me!” Ian continued to allege

André gripped Ian’s shoulders hard, gritting his teeth together.

“Will you shut the fuck up” he muttered harshly, “I haven’t done anything to you!”

Ian stared, wide eyed and threatened. He wasn’t sure if he was drugged, but his heart was racing.

“I-I wanna go home” He told him, repeating “take me home”

 

The cab ride home was more than awkward, deafening silence filling the air as Ian sat in the backseat, just watching the world around him go by. He tried to stay silent, since André kept telling him to fake being sober so they would be allowed into the taxi.

When Ian said that he wanted to go home, he meant Chicago.

He meant Chicago ten years ago when he would come home sick from school and Fiona would soothe him by laying him on the couch with a heat-pack, blankets and microwaved chicken soup.

He wanted to go back to that time. If he came home in the state he was in right now, Fiona probably wouldn’t care.

 

André and Ian stumbled their way inside, loudly welcoming the puppy at the door before heading towards the kitchen.

Ian probably should be having some water to calm down, but he reached for another beer instead, opening it and taking a gulp of it.

As he closed the door, André slammed it shut, turning Ian around to face him, using his hips to pin him against the fridge.

Instant flashbacks of only a few nights ago flooded Ian’s mind, causing him to feel small and shaky, not helping the panic attack he was coming down from.

The devilish man grabbed the beer from Ian and took a gulp before placing it on the counter beside the fridge.

“W-What are you doing?” Ian’s voice came out a whisper, the world still spinning around him.

“Continuing where we left off…” he purred, hands running to Ian’s neck as he leaned in.

Ian tried to back off but there was nowhere to go, André pressed his lips to Ian’s and Ian kissed back for less than a second before using all his strength to push him off, chest heaving as he tried to comprehend what just happened.

André frowned slightly, getting a hold of Ian’s hips, “Don’t you want me?”

He forced his crotch onto Ian’s, causing an exhale to come out of the American before he shoved him off again.

“No! You’re a fucking psycho” Ian nearly yelled

“Aw, don’t lie” He smirked, hand reaching for the end of Ian’s shirt, lifting it as Ian tried to push his hand off but it was too late.

André paused, eyes glued to the tattoo on Ian’s pelvis.

“Qué chingados…” he breathed before meeting with Ian’s eyes, “What the hell is that?”

Ian stared, his throat tightening as he tried his hardest to find an answer that wouldn’t result in getting another scar.

“I-It’s old” Ian lied

“I know what new tattoos look like, idiot, I’m covered in them!” He shouted

Ian jolted in fear but tried to fight it, reaching for the beer bottle to hit him over the head but André caught his hand, beer spilling over the floor as he pulled the bottle from his grip, throwing it across the room into the wall where it shattered, beer over the wall and floor now.

Dead silence filled the air of the kitchen, Ian and André staring at each other in both anger and shock of what they had become because of the alcohol coursing through them.

Footsteps thumped down the hallway, causing the two men to look away and find a freshly showered Mickey in a t-shirt and track-pants standing by the arch of the hallway.

“What the fuck is going on!?”

Ian stared, stunned and on the brink of tears as André panicked.

“He’s fucking crazy! Tried to say I drugged him before throwing a bottle at my head!”

Mickey’s brows furrowed with hurt and confusion, but once he saw how distraught Ian look, he realized André was probably lying. His heart sunk, and all he could feel was sadness. He blamed himself.

“Go to bed” he told André bluntly

“W—”

“I said go!” Mickey shouted, “Sleep off whatever the fuck you’re on!”

André scoffed, “What are you doing home anyway? you were meant to be at work”

“I _was_ and _clearly_ I’m home now”

André licked his lip before biting, wanting to continue the argument but gave in.

“At least let me clean—”

“No, you’ve done more than enough today. Go to bed, I’ll clean this shit”

He tightened his jaw, recognizing Mickey’s anger. He felt like he had truly fucked up, which he had, but his ego wouldn’t let him believe it.

Mickey didn’t even look him in the eye as André made his way down the hall. Ian could feel his head start to throb now and sunk down to the floor.

Ian felt like utter shit now. He had been here so many times before that it was familiar—it was a violating feeling. A useless feeling. An _no one would look twice at me if it weren’t for my body_ kind of feeling.

It hurt, it ached and it soared to every inch of Ian’s body. Leaving him sitting there as if he may as well be dead whilst Mickey rushed to clean the beer before it stained the wall.

Mickey looked over at Ian as he washed the beer away, feeling his heart continue to sink at the sight. He looked ruined, broken. He deserved better than this, better than Mickey.

He gathered the soaked paper towel and put it in the bin before washing his hands, drying them and sinking onto the floor where Ian sat lifelessly, lifting his face to meet with his.

“Are you okay?” Mickey whispered, “Whatever he did, you can tell me”

Ian lifted his eyes to linger on Mickey’s, but choked on whatever words he wanted to say. He couldn’t tell him. He was a coward.

“Fuck…” Mickey muttered, sniffing as he tried not to let it get to him.

He pressed his forehead to Ian’s, closing his eyes as he gathered his thoughts. He had to stop pitying himself and figure out how to fix this broken man he loved that lay against the fridge they once fucked upon.

“I’m not crazy…” Ian managed to say. It was soft and insecure, but Mickey heard it.

Mickey peeled his head away from Ian to look in his eyes.

“I’m not crazy” Ian repeated, his voice shaking, “I didn’t touch him, I-I didn’t do anything”

Mickey fought back tears as Ian mumbled.

“You have to believe me”

“I-I do” Mickey nodded with a soft smile, “I do believe you”

Ian forced a smile and Mickey ran his fingers through his ginger locks.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed, huh?” Mickey encouraged as Ian nodded.

Mickey stood up and grabbed Ian’s hands, helping his feet get back onto the ground so he could stand up straight.

 

He helped Ian up the stairs slowly, taking it one step at a time before getting into his room.

Mickey took care of him, undressing him down to his boxers and tucked him into the bed he quickly made with some pills and a glass of water. He even lifted Ian’s head to help him swallow it down before allowing his head to hit the pillow again.

Ian agonizingly rolled onto his side where Mickey crouched down by his bedside, their eyes meeting with an equal look of love and understanding.

“I’m sorry…” Ian breathed, still fighting back his need to cry.

He felt awful, he didn’t want to have Mickey see him this way. No matter how many times it’s happened in the past, it still hurt him in a way, as if he were dragging Mickey down.

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” Mickey spoke softly, running his fingers along Ian’s jaw.

“I wish I was stronger” Ian shook.

“You are strong” Mickey gave a firm look in the eyes, “You are beautiful, and intelligent”

Ian’s eyes glazed over as Mickey continued to speak.

“You are _Ian Gallagher_ ”

He tried to blink away his tears but it only caused them to fall, Mickey caught them with the pads of his thumbs, wiping them away before pressing a soft kiss to Ian’s lips.

It was as if something came alive in Ian and he wrapped his arms around Mickey, hand lurking into his hair as the kiss became deeper, more meaningful. Mickey lifted himself up as Ian moved onto his back. He held himself up on Ian’s bed, continuing the kiss, slow and delicious as they motioned together so perfectly.

Ian blamed the sudden roaring emotion on the alcohol. He was thinking about how he had to get over this sadness to continue what he came here for; to fix this, to fight for what they have always had.

They shared one more longing kiss before pulling away, Mickey biting his bottom lip as his eyes fluttered open to admire Ian’s eyes.

“I’ll keep fighting for you” Ian whispered without thinking, his liver still having a hold on his words.

Mickey smirked softly, knowing it had to be the remaining alcohol in his system that did the talking.

“You don’t have to” Mickey promised, “You got me, alright?”

Ian just stared into Mickey’s eyes as if he were the whole world as Mickey stared back, committed and determined to get his words into Ian’s head.

“You got me” he repeated

Ian nodded, understanding as Mickey proceeded to press a kiss to Ian’s forehead, pulling the sheets back over him as he made his unwilling exit.

“Now go the fuck to sleep” Mickey chuckled

“I’ll try” Ian laughed softly, looking up at the now upright Milkovich, “night, Mick”

“Goodnight, Ian” Mickey smiled softly before turning around and making his way to the door.

All he wanted to do was turn around and stay with Ian, but he couldn’t with the drunk Mexican in the other room that would be wanting Mickey’s attention.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand living a lie, but he felt he had no choice. Kind of like Stockholm Syndrome, in a way, just minus the love part.

But Mickey wasn’t even sure he could bring himself to trust André now. First, the cut on Ian’s head and now the shattered beer on the wall—It was starting to make Mickey cautious.

Something was wrong here, but Mickey felt he didn’t have the guts to risk finding out what it was.

He would be trapped here forever, but he didn’t lie to Ian.

Ian does have Mickey. His heart would forever belong to Ian.

Even when they’re not together.


	19. Chapter 19

There was an odd feeling raging through the household, a tension so real it was like the top of a shaken champagne bottle ready to be popped.

Ian had recovered from his nightclub mishap by the time morning came. He had slept off the pains in his body and had virtually no hangover whatsoever, but he could still remember everything that happened last night.

André found out about the tattoo—he must know by now that Ian is still deeply in love with Mickey, but Ian assumed the fact he’s a ‘ _liability_ ’ or whatever-the-fuck meant he had to stay here, so André couldn’t ask him to leave.

Ian could understand the anger. Hell, he got angry anytime André even talked or mentioned Mickey. He gets it, but the beer-throwing was unnecessary, as was the groping session that came prior to it.

What woke Ian was an alarm that blared too loud for the quiet room he slept in, but he felt refreshed and got out of bed, knowing well enough he had to take care of himself and take his meds so Mickey wouldn’t have to be some sort of caretaker.

After last night, he remembered just how badly he didn’t want Mickey to be that person, to be a nurse to Ian when he was too fucking dumb to take care of himself. He needed to get back on track, he needed both him and Mickey to love each other without feeling weighed down in any way.

Even if Mickey didn’t mind, Ian couldn’t bring himself to be that selfish. He sat through his siblings calling him a burden, he didn’t want to become a burden to Mickey, too.

Ian got out of bed, took his meds and brushed his teeth, staring himself in the mirror as he did so.

He was thankful his bruise was beginning to heal, and that there were no added wounds after last night. He looked brighter, somehow.

Ian had hardly felt the time pass since he got here, but now looking at himself he could see how his hair had grown and the small scars on his face from every battle he fought to get here remained.

He was a different person—yet the same. He felt how he did before he ran away to join the army. He felt good and overly optimistic, which probably wasn’t a good thing.

A knock approached the bathroom door and Ian smiled slightly as he continued to scrub away at his teeth and gums. He bet Mickey to the wake-up call today.

Just as he pulled the door open he froze, eyes meeting with a miserable, exhausted looking André who just leaned against the door frame, still managing to tower over Ian.

“What do you want?” Ian spoke, mouth full of toothpaste.

“Just wanted to apologize for last night” he spoke, not wanting to meet with Ian’s eyes.

Ian let out a scoff, making his way over to the sink, “Mickey tell you to say that?”

“C’mon man, no” he sighed as Ian rinsed his mouth out, “He’s not even awake yet”

Ian spat out the water and dried his mouth, putting his toothbrush away.

“So your apology makes up for everything, then?” Ian commented in a smart-ass tone, turning to face the man in his doorway.

André’s jaw tightened, “I don’t know what else to tell you, I feel horrible”

Ian wanted to believe him from how empathetic he sounded, but could tell those dark eyes were lying.

“Okay” Ian simply replied, “so that means we can call this even?”

“Not sure about that” he mumbled, “I don’t trust you”

“I don’t trust you, either” Ian responded, their eyes fiery as their posture seemed to become defensive.

“If it weren’t for Antonio, I probably would’ve kicked you out or killed you by now” André spoke flatly

Ian laughed under his breath, as if he couldn’t take the hit-man seriously.

André continued with a threat, “I’m not kidding, gringo. If I find out you’re fucking Mickey, you both better watch yourselves”

Ian’s prideful smile sunk as he felt some of that panic return.

“What the fuck!? Who says we’re even doing anything?” Ian argued

“I don’t know what else to fucking believe!” André’s voice raised, arms in the air and all, “we haven’t had proper sex in weeks!”

Ian tried not to let that affect his ego, just rolling his eyes as he made his way past the buff man to go to his drawers, pulling out a basic grey shirt.

“Well I’m not fucking him” Ian lied casually, looking over at André as he pulled the shirt over his head, “Sure, I missed him, but I’m not the type to be a homewrecker”

André bit his lip, trying not to get too aggressive as he crossed his arms.

“Why’d you come to Mexico if it wasn’t to get Mickey back?” he questioned, “When you saw Antonio you mentioned Mickey and that was the end of it”

“I had to say goodbye to the first person I ever fell in love with” Ian stated, looking over at him, “We both moved on since then, but we grew up together and I wanted to escape life’s bullshit—”

“For three months?”

Ian shrugged, “Why not? I worked hard, I had the cash and I thought _hey! Mickey’s in Mexico, probably by a beach somewhere, why don’t I just find him and then he can show me around?_ ”

He had completely thought up the lie on the spot, but it worked, no fault shining through as André eased slightly.

“And you took that chance?”

“After letting Mickey go and regretting it, I learnt I had to take more risks. I couldn’t stand being at home with my bitchy sister bossing me around, making me be the one who took care the household when I could hardly take care of myself” Ian pretended to vent, pulling up his jeans now.

André just nodded, making his way off the doorway to step closer to Ian.

“Well I didn’t come here to swap war stories. What I wanted to say was that I have to go back to Antonio’s for the night”

Ian furrowed his brows as he zipped up his pants.

“Why are you telling me?” he wondered

“I want to see if I can trust you” he smirked

“Right” Ian hummed, making his way over to his phone.

“I’m going to wake Mickey up now for breakfast, see you downstairs?”

“Uh-huh, yep” Ian mumbled, not caring as he saw a text from Carl.

_‘My friend from military school doesn’t believe you tried to hotwire a helicopter’_

André exited the room, leaving Ian to wrap his head around what he just read.

He would rather not dwell on the mistakes he made whilst manic, but Carl’s message didn’t upset him. Even when Carl was curious enough to ask ‘ _how does it feel to be crazy?’_ Ian just took it all in. He loved his little brother and understood you needed patience to handle him.

 _‘well it happened haha’_ Ian simply replied

Just as he went to place his phone into his pocket, it vibrated with another text message.

_‘When are you coming home?’_

Ian smirked at how Carl changed the conversation instantly, as if the only reason he texted was because he missed him.

_‘Soon. Why? Do you miss me?’_

_‘kinda. No one seems to care about how well im doing anymore and you get the whole army thing’_

Ian felt his smile turn into a frown knowing Carl was now the one no one looked at. Then again, they were probably all too busy with their own things.

_‘Well when I get home we can talk all about it, okay?’_

_‘Okay. Remember my shirt!’_

Suddenly, Ian had the biggest _oh fuck_ moment. How was he going to get a souvenir from a place he didn’t even visit?

 _‘I will!’_ He replied and left it at that, putting the phone back into his pocket as he made his way down to the kitchen.

 

Meanwhile, André had begun to climb over Mickey who slept huddled up under the sheets as if he were too uncomfortable to stretch over the welcoming king-size bed.

“Amor…” André purred, pressing stubbly kisses to Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey didn’t want to respond. He wasn’t even sure if he had any sleep. André had kept him up half the night drunk, saying shit that didn’t make any sense since majority of it was in Spanish, every time he’d remind him to speak English, André would just tell him not to worry about it.

“Get up!” he pounced, slapping Mickey’s head playfully.

“What the fuck!” Mickey whined, looking at the man on top of him, “Can’t you just let me rest for two fuckin’ minutes?”

“No, get up” he smirked, “I got everything ready for breakfast”

Mickey scoffed, “Congratulations, you pulled out a cereal bowl”

The raven-haired American sunk his head back into his pillow and closed his eyes with hopes of falling back asleep, feeling instant relief as the weight of his boyfriend got off the bed.

He let out a sigh, thankful he could finally the rest he needed until André had the idea of ripping the warm sheets from his body.

The sheets were pulled off him in one swift motion causing Mickey to jolt at the sensation of cold air attacking his body. He sat up, angry eyes meeting with André who stood at the end of the bed innocently, bed sheets in hand.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me” Mickey muttered, André held his vacant hand out to the man in the bed they shared.

“Come _on_ ” André begged, “Please?”

Mickey let out a heavy breath and jumped out of the bed, “fine”

André rejoiced before passing Mickey his tracksuit pants.

“Thank you” Mickey smiled sarcastically, pulling them from his grip rather aggressively as he put them on.

André watched Mickey pull up the pants and make his way towards the balcony doors, but quickly stopped him, pulling him in by his singlet to get a proper grip of Mickey’s hips.

A grunt came out of Mickey as he was pulled into André’s strong hold. Mickey chewed on his bottom lip as he looked up to meet with André’s eyes.

“Come downstairs” André persisted sweetly, hands now moving to lace with Mickey’s fingers.

Mickey flicked him away instantly, “Fuck off!” he told him, frustration rising, “Get off my dick, poncho, I just want a smoke”

André’s face fell flat, disheartened and angry. What did he do for Mickey to treat him this way? He apologized to Ian and loved and cared for Mickey endlessly.

Mickey reached for his pack of smokes and André smacked them out of his hand, causing cigarettes to sprinkle the floor as he yanked Mickey’s wrists to pull him close. Mickey stood his ground, ignoring the way his heart pounded into his throat as his eyes shared the same level of intimidation as André’s, glaring at one another.

“Come down and eat your _fucking_ breakfast with me” André hissed through his teeth.

“Or what?” Mickey grinned wickedly, “What you gonna do, tough guy? punch me? _Go right ahead_ ”

Mickey held his breath as he waited for some sort of impact, but nothing came. André shoved Mickey away, making his way out the door which caused an empty laugh to come from Mickey.

_Fucking pussy._

Why should he suck up to André after what happened last night? Mickey knows he’s the reason Ian was so distraught.

André had no remorse for whatever did happen last night, and that’s why Mickey couldn’t forgive him or find it in him to pretend this was okay anymore.

“Fuck...” Mickey muttered, eyes meeting with the cigarettes sprawled across the floor.

How could he possibly approach this without risking everything he’s worked so hard to protect?

He scratched his lip with a sigh, deciding he’d start by fixing the cigarettes and crouched down as he began to pick them all up, trying to ignore whatever war was to come.

 

The tall and often quiet red-head leaned his elbows against the counter in the kitchen, spooning cereal into his mouth as he mindlessly pondered over anything and everything. Maybe it was the meds settling in to help calm the agitated state he was in less than 12 hours ago, or maybe he just felt confident for the first time ever since getting here.

André came stomping his way in, grabbing the half-filled cup of coffee that had gone cold and sculled it, not even looking at Ian as he made his way over to put it in the sink.

Ian watched André, confused by his attitude since he seemed okay only moments ago.

“Are you alright?” he wondered curiously

“No” André told him bluntly, making his way to the dining table where his stuff was packed and ready to go.

“You leaving already?” Ian questioned, stunned by how rushed he was being.

“Yes” He told him bluntly, “was hoping for a nice breakfast before I left but la burro up there is being a shithead”

Ian furrowed his brows as he tried to translate, “Did you just call Mickey a donkey?”

“If he starts to worry where I am, don’t say I’m away for the night. He doesn’t deserve to know”

“Wait” Ian paused, standing up straight, “you’re not even going to tell him?”

“No!” André snapped, turning to Ian, “I was going to and he was just being a bitch about it” André vented, pulling his duffle over his shoulder.

Ian huffed, pulling his cup of coffee to his lips as he took a sip.

“Can’t wait to get out of here” André continued, “I’ll be able to fucking think”

Ian tried to grasp what possibly could’ve happened in that bedroom whilst he was down here, but before he could even ask, André was heading for the door.

“Chao, gringo”

“Alright…Chao” Ian waved him off, watching how Chico came running in from outside to say goodbye, but the door slammed and it was too late.

André was gone.

Usually, this would excite Ian because it meant that he finally had time alone with Mickey, but this time he couldn’t fight the sinking feeling he had, like something bad was on its way.

Chico’s whimpering and scratching at the door echoed down the hall, causing Ian to pout. How could André forget the sweet little brown Labrador like this?

He placed his mug down and made his way down the hall towards Chico.

“Chico!” he called to grab the dog’s attention

His ears sparked and he turned around, wagging his tail delightfully as Ian approached, kneeling so he could give him back scratches.

Chico hopped up onto Ian as if to hug him and Ian chuckled, sitting down to let the dog sniff and lick at his face excitedly as Ian patted him.

“He probably wants to go for a walk”

This time, it was both Ian and Chico’s ears that sparked when they heard that incredible voice. Ian couldn’t help his smile as he watched Mickey come down those stairs whilst Chico went running up to meet him halfway.

“Oh you heard me say walk, didn’t you?” Mickey chuckled, patting Chico’s head as he got down the steps, “I’ll take you after breakfast, alright?”

Ian smiled and stood up, noticing how nice Mickey looked even though he was just in some skinny jeans and a t-shirt.

“Good morning” Ian’s smile seemed to beam now,

Mickey met with Ian’s stare with a soft smile, “mornin’”

“You look good” Ian complemented, making Mickey smirk

“Thanks, considering I got no sleep last night” he told him, making his way down the hall, Ian following close behind whilst Chico bolted ahead of them.

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah” Mickey mumbled

They entered the room and after scanning the area Mickey huffed, realizing André wasn’t here.

_Fucking Pussy_

“He left, huh?” he wondered

“Yep” Ian confirmed, making his way over to the kitchen, “I’ll fix you a coffee”

Mickey bit his inner-lip, trying not to let this get the best of him and focused on someone far better than André would ever be—Ian.

He made his way over and grabbed a bowl to make his cereal as Ian poured the boiling water into the mug.

All Ian wanted to do was ask what happened in that bedroom and tell him where André had gone but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to test his or Mickey’s luck when it came to him. It’d probably eat him alive, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

The cork was about to burst, and Ian had to tread around it carefully.

 

After Mickey ate, they took Chico for a decent walk around the block, even running part of the way when the energetic Labrador was in the mood for a sprint.

The weather was nice, still warm but the air was slightly cool. Not as cold as it would be in Chicago, but cold enough for this area of Mexico.

They approached the door of the McMansion and could feel the heat catching up to them now as Ian fumbled to unlock the door.

“God, that dog can fucking run” Mickey puffed, looking down at Chico that was still energetic despite how hard he was panting.

“Tell me about it” Ian smirked, recalling the time he had to chase after him at the beach.

“it’s alright, he’ll probably have a drink and sleep” he commented before looking down at the dog, “won’t you?”

Of course, Chico couldn’t respond, but Mickey assumed the look he gave meant yes.

Once they got in the door and Mickey found out André still wasn’t home, he didn’t panic. He was probably _‘working’_ as always so after letting Chico outside, they decided to have a movie date and settled in the theatre room for a movie of Mickey’s choice.

Ian held Mickey close and rather protectively as they watched, but Mickey seemed more focused on his phone as if he were waiting for André to say where he was.

It was unusual for André not to text his whereabouts, and Ian tried to not let Mickey’s attention to the iPhone get to him. But it did worry him that André wouldn’t tell Mickey that he left for the night, it just wasn’t something André typically did.

“Are you okay?” Ian couldn’t help but whisper, Mickey turned his head to look at him

“Yeah” he assured with a tight smile, suddenly all his loving attention being put into gazing upon Ian’s gorgeous eyes

Ian smiled slightly, leaning in to press a soft kiss on Mickey’s lips and Mickey sighed into it, his hand making its way into the ginger’s hair as they motioned together sweetly.

Mickey was the one to break the kiss, smiling at his love before pressing one last meaningful kiss upon his neck, resting his head upon Ian’s shoulder.

The sensation of Mickey’s lips soothed Ian in a way he forgot was even possible, pressing a comforting kiss to Mickey’s soft black hair before resting his head against Mickeys, fingers lacing together as they enjoyed the movie (or at least tried to.)

Ian was trying not to continue his worrying about what had happened upstairs, but he couldn’t fight the feeling that André was possibly onto them and their newfound relationship, and despite no words about it being spoken, Mickey couldn’t lie. He was worried, too.

Why else would André react the way he did this morning if he wasn’t thinking about what these two men were possibly doing when he wasn’t around? It just didn’t make sense to Mickey, André had never been violent towards him before but after last night he wasn’t so surprised when he grabbed a hold of his wrists the way he did. Mickey swore he could still feel his tight grip even though he was miles away.

 

Throughout the movie, Ian had slowly fallen asleep from how it seemed to drag on. It was probably also the lack of sleep catching up to him but Mickey let him rest, rising from the lap he laid upon and reached for the soft woolen blanket so he could spread it over Ian’s legs.

Mickey carefully made his way out of the room and made his way outside so he could have a moment to breathe—and by ‘breathe’ he meant inhaling a fuck load of nicotine.

He sat upon the step to the grassy area and put a smoke between his lips, lighting it and enjoying the relief it brought him before pulling out his phone and looking at the texts he sent to Andre.

Mickey had sent multiple texts, unable to shift the guilty feeling he had. It was clearly his fault André was ignoring him.

 _‘You didn’t tell me you were going out today?’_ One of the texts read, but Mickey kept sending them as time went on.

_‘I’m sorry for this morning, I was in a shitty mood’_

_‘are you coming home or what??? I need to know for dinner’_

_‘Andre I swear to god ur making me go fucking insane. This isn’t like you…Again, I’m sorry’_

They were texts sent over hours of thoughts building up, and as the smoke also piled into his lungs he couldn’t help but feel empty knowing he may have somehow made a mistake.

Not that Ian was the mistake, but how Mickey approached it was.

You’d think after being caught by your own homophobic father you’d learn to be more cautious but in some way, that only made him more callous.

Mickey felt dumb, and this time made the effort to call his M.I.A boyfriend.

He raised the phone to his ear as he inhaled and exhaled the smoke at a rapid pace. He wasn’t even sure what to say, but he hoped André hearing his voice would make it easier.

The ringing stopped abruptly and Mickey was met with André’s answering machine.

_“Hola, André aquí. Déjame un mesaje y te respondere. Muchas gracias”_

The tone rang, leaving Mickey silent for a second before speaking.

“Hey, I don’t know what’s going on with you or why you’re so angry but could you please at least get back to me? I’m worried, okay? Call me back” he spoke, shakiness in his tone.

Mickey would’ve added an _I love you_ but it just wasn’t true, so he couldn’t force the words to leave his lips.

He hung up and sighed, pulling his cigarette back to his lips. Truth was, he wasn’t worried about André, but was worried for what was to come.

It was like he was suddenly awaken by the risk, that this couldn’t last forever and in the end, it’d have to be either taking off with Ian and ending up in prison, or staying here with André in a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

He knew he wanted Ian, and he was starting to believe that risking prison-time may be where he’d have to go. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could survive being with a man that was slowly turning into the devil with each waking day.

It all felt rather suffocating and somehow made the smoke in his lungs feel more like oxygen than real oxygen did.

By the time dinner time came around, André was still nowhere to be seen. Ian pulled out the chicken they had roasting in the oven whilst Mickey aggressively mashed the potatoes, just trying to fight back the urge he had to pick up that phone and shout abuse about how he did nothing wrong.

He didn’t deserve to be treated so badly—or maybe he did, Mickey wasn’t sure anymore.

Ian placed the roast on the stovetop and couldn’t help but notice the way mashed potato was flying out of the pot and onto the countertop, feeling his own guilt start to rise. Mickey was clearly paranoid over André and here he was not saying anything, like a complete dickhead.

“Hey” Ian spoke softly, placing a soothing hand against Mickey’s back whilst the other reached for the masher, “I think they’re done”

Mickey sighed, letting go of the masher as he looked at Ian.

“I’ll get dinner ready okay? Just rest” Ian chuckled softly, pressing a light kiss to Mickey’s cheek.

“I can’t rest” Mickey admitted, moving to wash his hands in the sink before drying them.

“Why not?” Ian wondered, mashing the potatoes far more lovingly than Mickey did.

Mickey reached for his phone and bit his lip, trying not to hate that there was no notification there.

“He’s ignored all my texts and calls” he scoffed, throwing the phone down, “He’s been fucking cagey lately”

“Hm…” Ian responded, leaving the potatoes alone now as he reached for his warm beer, “He’s probably just away for the night, Mick. Don’t worry about it”

“But he always tells me. Wouldn’t you freak out if like—if Lip had told you he was still sober every day, then one day he’s just missing and you don’t hear shit. What would you do?”

Ian tried to fight that, but he had a fair point. He would imagine the worst. Unable to find a response he glugged back the beer as Mickey continued.

“I shouldn’t have been so fucking hard on him” he huffed, “probably scared him off”

“Doubt that” Ian scoffed, putting down the beer as he grabbed two plates from the cupboard so he could start plating up the food.

Mickey chewed his lip anxiously before excusing himself, “I’m gonna feed the dog”

“Alright” Ian spoke casually but couldn’t help but watch the way Mickey took off as if he were a ticking time-bomb.

Mickey didn’t deserve this and Ian still had no idea what happened this morning to cause André to react the way he did.

 

Dinner helped Mickey calm down to some extent, but he still couldn’t stop checking his phone throughout. He was so afraid he had fucked this up, because he was in no way prepared for all of this to change so quickly. Then again, maybe a forced change is what Mickey needed so he’d know where to go next.

Ian couldn’t help but feel a touch annoyed, not at Mickey but more himself for causing this drama. If he had never gotten that tattoo and just let André take advantage…

He shook those thoughts instantly, what’s done is done, he can’t turn back now.

But he needed Mickey to relax, he couldn’t hold back the need he had to soothe him and let him know everything would be okay.

Taking a sip of his beer, Ian thought about what to say to help the situation.

He placed it down as he swallowed, looking directly at the sorrow-filled-man across the table.

“Mickey I’m sure he’s fine, relax”

“I know he’s probably fucking fine, that’s not the point” Mickey flipped the phone over with a frustrated sigh before scratching at his brow. Ian was right, he probably should relax but he couldn’t stop overthinking.

“Jesus” Ian huffed at Mickey’s frustration, “What the hell happened upstairs this morning?”

Mickey became defensive, staring fiercely at Ian.

“What the hell happened in the kitchen last night?” he returned

The two men instantly fell silent because they didn’t want the other to know of the dark truth behind it all. Ian didn’t want to tell Mickey the truth about André, and Mickey didn’t want to tell Ian the demon his boyfriend was becoming.

At least Ian could be calm through this, whilst Mickey was slowly becoming a hurricane and Ian just couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to become mother nature and calm the situation before it got out of hand.

“That’s it” Ian snapped, standing, “get up”

He was going to relax Mickey the only way he knew how.

“What the fu—”

“I said _get up_ ” Ian spoke firmly, making his way over to Mickey who quickly stood up to face the red-head.

Ian didn’t say anything else and cupped Mickey’s face to pull him in for a kiss. Mickey sunk into it, kicking the chair back as one hand trailed delicately along Ian’s neck whilst the other slipped under his shirt and pulled him closer by the hip.

Their tongues tasted and twined, passionate and raw, all of Mickey’s frustration being taken out on Ian’s lips to help him ease. Ian tried to move away but Mickey wouldn’t allow him, biting Ian’s lip just lightly in keeping him close.

Ian couldn’t help but allow Mickey to reel him back in with a moan, the two getting into a heavy make out instantly as Ian started to motion them backwards.

Mickey could feel exhilaration rushing through his veins already, he had no idea where Ian was leading him and the possible danger of André getting home was enough to give him an adrenaline rush.

The Gallagher spun the Milkovich around so he was facing away from him and pressed the man against the cold glass window, continuing to kiss the back of his lover’s neck as he prepared to worship him, fumbling his hands around his waist to undo his jeans.

“Fuck…” Mickey muttered, fingers gripping onto the cold glass as Ian’s hand travelled its way around Mickey’s thick cock, pumping vigorously, “W-What about André?”

“Shh…” Ian’s whispered, “If he were going to be home, he’d be here by now”

Mickey bit hard on his bottom lip as Ian’s grip got tighter, holding his body against Mickey’s.

“This is all about you…” Ian growled lowly, “so relax, let me help you take your mind of it…”

Mickey couldn’t oblige, letting Ian carefully pull his hand out of his pants as he sunk to the floor, pulling his jeans and boxers down, revealing his bare ass.

A smirk came from Mickey seeing how Ian marveled at his perfectly shaped ass in the reflection of the window.

Ian grabbed a hold of his cheeks and caressed tightly, pressing a light kiss on his thigh. Mickey closed his eyes and spread his legs, angling himself in a way where Ian could get the job done with ease.

“God, you’re so good” Ian breathed with a chuckle before kissing his way up to Mickey’s ass.

He pulled away and continued to tease as he pulled and massaged him before slapping, loving how his ass jiggled as Mickey flinched.

“Shit, get to it Gallagher” Mickey whined, “Or I’ll do the job myself”

Ian nearly snorted at that, a wide grin on his face as he spread Mickey’s cheeks.

“Fine”

He pressed hot kisses around the surrounding area, the sensitive nerves sending shockwaves up Mickey’s spine as he moaned.

“I swear to go—”

That was when Ian dived in, his tongue circling whilst his hands caressed, just burying himself in this beautiful ass. God, he loved it, lapping his tongue over and over and enjoying the gasps that escaped Mickey.

Oh, man. Mickey was in bliss, loving the way Ian just worshipped him and took all his troubles away. Ian moved one hand to grope and massage at Mickey’s balls as he worked Mickey’s ass, slowly working his tongue inside as Mickey so easily oozed into it. It was as if Ian were some sort of ass-eating-Mosiah.

If only they thought to do this kind of thing more often.

His tongue dipped, circling inside him and that’s what got Mickey going, reaching his hand around to grab onto Ian’s hair as grunts and groans uncontrollably arose from Mickey. Ian just kept going, getting somehow hungrier.

They already had dinner, and Mickey was the perfect dessert.

Ian pulled away with a gasp as he found himself running out of breath, licking up Mickey’s crack. Mickey reached his other hand to his throbbing length but Ian noticed, slapping his hand away.

“Not yet!” he told him off, hitting his ass playfully, “I’ll get to it”

Mickey was in pleasurable agony by this point, and he just held back as much as he could, shivering at the sensation of Ian’s fingers running over his hole. Things were really starting to escalate now.

Ian carefully slid his finger in, causing Mickey to hiss at the sensation and mutter profanities under his breath.

Ian grinned and worked his way in and out slowly, breathing in every single sound of agreement his lover made. He was so beautiful and so electric. Ian would never get enough of this.

He ducked between Mickey’s legs and leaned against the strong window as he instantly latched his lips onto Mickey’s length, taking him in deep as he managed to get another finger inside, causing Mickey to yelp and let out a louder groan as his fingers entwined in Ian’s slightly wavy locks.

He couldn’t hold back as the pleasure took control, thrusting himself into Ian’s mouth where he just swallowed him, letting Mickey just get lost in the moment.

Ian’s fingers curled and scissor apart consistently, hitting the right spot as Mickey just reached for the final goal, his panting causing the glass to fog and his fingers leaving messy streaks but he didn’t care.

Mickey rested his forehead against the window, looking down at Ian who was perfectly multitasking each spot of his body, the pleasure increasing at the sight.

“Fuck, you look so good right now” Mickey panted, “so fucking good”

His emerald eyes shot up to look at Mickey’s in that dirty way that made Mickey feel so good. Ian shut his eyes and picked up the pace and Mickey started to lose control, his moans getting brazenly louder as he felt himself get closer to the edge, not caring if they broke this fucking window from how hard and forceful the two men had become.

“Oh Sh-Shit I’m close” Mickey warned with a heavy breath

Ian removed his fingers, just clasping onto Mickey’s ass to keep him still as he finished off the job and in only moments, Mickey convulsed, almost punching the glass from the intensity of the pleasure as he came down Ian’s throat.

Satisfied with the results, Ian took a deep breath as he swallowed and sucked hard, pulling away.

Ian wiped his mouth and ducked out from under Mickey’s legs, grabbing the chair he had kicked away before standing up with help from the seat as Mickey pulled up his pants, shaking only the slightest from the aftershocks.

“Feel better?” Ian breathed deeply with a smirk as he washed down whatever taste was left in his mouth with beer.

Mickey huffed and carefully sat on the chair as he tried to regain his train of thought.

“Yeah, a lot” he laughed, soaring Ian’s ego high, “Did you want me to do you now?”

“Nah, I’m good Mick” Ian assured with a continuous smirk he just couldn’t remove, “You can do me another time”

Mickey just let out lighthearted laughter before hearing his phone violently vibrate against the glass dining table. Before he could even think he reached for it, finally a sign from André that he was alive.

_‘I’m fine’_

Mickey’s face suddenly fell flat, “You fucking serious?”

Ian furrowed his brows, leaning his hand on the table as he took another gulp.

“What?”

“ _‘I’m fine’_ like a fucking teenager with an attitude problem” Mickey scoffed

A frown broke the smirk that was aching Ian’s cheeks, placing the beer down as he went to say something but Mickey bet him to it.

“Fuck him, he can rot in hell for all I care” Mickey fumed, throwing the phone down as he stood up, ignoring the pain in his thighs from how tense they became, “let’s go for a drive”

Ian was thrown aback by the sudden suggestion, “A drive?”

“Yeah, we’ve been stuck here inside all day. I’m getting sick of this place” Mickey told him as he made his way out of the room.

Mickey wasn’t even sure what he meant by ‘ _I’m getting sick of this place’_ but there was truth in that sentiment, he didn’t want to be in this situation. He wanted to escape and allow his mind to think freely.

 

Ian wasn’t sure where Mickey was taking them, but he was excited and felt happy. They were winding up roads to whatever their destination was to be, Mexican hits blaring on the radio that Ian and Mickey sung along to poorly, but they were enjoying each other’s company.

So far, all Ian could see was trees and the night sky that sparkled from the stars, but he’d much rather look to the man who was driving and how gorgeous he looked despite the dim lighting.

Mickey glanced at him and felt a smile creep onto his lips at how lovingly Ian was looking at him, maybe it was the slower and more romantic Spanish song on the radio, but he could just feel that affection radiate from his favorite lover.

“What are you lookin’ at?” Mickey wondered

Ian blushed, biting his lip as he smiled wide, “What does it look like I’m looking at?”

Mickey just huffed in response and Ian reached his hand to hold the nape of Mickey’s neck, running his hand softly up through Mickey’s hair.

No words had to be exchanged, their shared aura did the speaking for them. They were in love.

Moments later, Mickey pulled into a rocky driveway and Ian sat up straighter with the anticipation, the high-beams of the car lighting the track to their destination.

Ian’s eyes glistened at the sight they pulled up to, it was just the two of them in total isolation with an incredible lookout to the city and the ocean it wrapped itself around.

Mickey parked the car and they both got out without saying a word, just giving them both a moment of serenity, enjoying the way the cold wind wrapped around them.

They made their way up the brick steps, embracing the view completely as they reached the stone-fence railing of the lookout point.

Mickey leaned his elbows on the railing, finding contentment in the fact that he left his phone at home and could just enjoy the way the cold air froze his nose and cheeks. It reminded him of home, and with Ian here it felt even more comforting.

“You wanted to see the view of the city?” Ian wondered softly, wrapping his arm around Mickey’s waist, holding him close to warm him up.

“I wanted _you_ to the view of the city” Mickey replied with the same tone of voice, looking at Ian with a fond smile.

He couldn’t help but adore the way Ian’s eyes lit up at the beautiful sight of the city and how the glowing lights bounced onto the ocean, the stars more visible here than if you were down there.

Ian looked down at Mickey and smiled back before leaning on the railing next to him as he began to wonder how he found this place.

“Did André show you this place?” he questioned, and not in a jealous way, just a curious way.

“Nah” Mickey shook his head, looking out to the view, “Found it on my own. Before you got here I used to just come here and _think_ ”

Ian just nodded, looking at Mickey and admiring the way the lights from the city glistened onto his face.

“It’s beautiful” Ian whispered

“I know” Mickey replied before realizing Ian’s eyes were locked on him now.

Their eyes met with the same amount of adoration and they moved closer, carefully touching one set of cold lips to another, motioning slowly before Mickey’s hand travelled into Ian’s hair, the pair standing to hold one another closer. Ian held Mickey close by the hips as they just kissed lovingly and slow, enjoying the scenery and how although the cold wrapped around one another, they kept each other warm.

They were happy, and although they knew deep down this happiness could quickly fall to pieces, they enjoyed it for now.

Because they had no idea which kiss would possibly be the last.


	20. Chapter 20

There was so much satisfaction in waking up next to the one you love. It wouldn’t matter if the sky was blue and birds were singing or if it was cloudy and all that could be heard was the sound of rain, knowing you were together was enough to give you that perfect amount of happiness to get you through the day.

It was about 20 minutes before Ian’s alarm when his eyes opened, welcomed to the sight of Mickey sleeping next to him, his hand holding onto Ian’s arm as if to say _I’m here_.

The happiness within Ian’s chest hadn’t moved since last night, even after getting home and carefully undressing each other to just hold one another skin-to-skin, he was happy. He felt free.

Even though he was far from that.

Ian carefully moved Mickey’s hand from his arm and crept out of the bed, his naked body now vulnerable and cold as he made his way over to the bathroom to take his meds.

That was when Mickey woke up, the first thing his eyes baring witness too was Ian’s beauty, he couldn’t help but smirk before he could even try to speak, just watching him in all his nakedness walk into the bathroom.

He stretched his arms and yawned, sitting up and piling his pillows so he could lean against the bedhead without straining his back. Mickey reached for his phone, finding a new text from his boyfriend, as if he had forgiven Mickey.

_‘I’m on the way home. I’ll be there tonight’_

It gave Mickey a sense of comfort knowing he had this free time to be with Ian and didn’t have to go creeping into his own bed anytime soon.

Mickey heard the bathroom door open and he didn’t bother answering the message, placing it down next to him as he welcomed the half-asleep Ian Gallagher.

Ian jumped slightly finding Mickey upright and awake, but that fright quickly subsided when he recognized that smile and how his eyes just made love to Ian’s body.

“You’re awake!” Ian chuckled, arms in the air as he happily made his way back to the bed.

“Indeed I am” Mickey laughed

Ian got under the covers and they shared a gentle good morning kiss before Mickey pulled away, hand still on Ian’s chest.

“André said he’d be home tonight”

“When?” Ian wondered, “I have work”

“I don’t know, why do you care?” Mickey questioned

“I don’t, just in case you wanted me here”

Mickey furrowed his brows, “Why would I need you here?”

Ian shrugged, “In case he tries to have sex with you or something”

Mickey couldn’t help but laugh, moving his hand as Ian propped his own pillows up so he could lay upright next to him.

“After yesterday, we probably won’t have sex for a while” Mickey admitted

Ian’s reached for his phone with a huff, “still not going to tell me what happened?”

“Nope” Mickey told him simply, to which Ian just rolled his eyes, turning off the alarm he had set.

Just as he went to put the phone down, it vibrated with a text message and Ian quickly opened it, Mickey looking over his shoulder.

It was from Mandy;

_‘Bumped into this little spunk! He finally got a haircut haha (Show M*****)’_

Attached was two photos, one where Yevgeny sat on the counter of the bar back home, _The Alibi Room_ , with a goofy look on his face and hand gestures saying ‘ _Look, pa! I’m a gangsta,’_ whilst the other was a more sweet and innocent one, a nice smile on his face that made his blue eyes stand out.

The little boys’ hair was styled like a mohawk, the blonde hair now an ashy-brown, the dark Milkovich locks were coming through.

Ian opened both properly with a smile on his face at how adorable the little man was, looking at Mickey as he showed them.

“Look”

Mickey almost couldn’t believe it, carefully pulling the phone from Ian’s grip to swipe back and forth between the photos. His throat felt tight from emotion, Yevgeny had grown so much and Mickey found himself missing him.

He never realized how much he truly cared for this kid—his son.

“ _Fuck_ ” Mickey breathed shakily, “He’s gotten big”

Ian smiled, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand.

“He looks good, doesn’t he?”

Mickey nodded with a sniff, handing the phone back, “Could you send them to me?”

At first, Ian was stunned but quickly nodded, “Of course”

Mickey took a deep breath, unable to help but think about how much he had missed whilst being away from home. Imagine how much he would’ve missed if he did stay in prison for 8 years? There was no way Mickey would survive.

The photos sent and Mickey felt his phone vibrate almost instantly. He picked up the phone and made the ‘ _gansta_ ’ picture his lock screen, which Ian couldn’t help but smile about.

“You really do care about him, don’t you?” Ian’s voice nearly came out a whisper

Mickey nodded before slouching, “of course. He can’t fucking help the way he was born, I just—” Mickey sighed, “He deserves a proper dad. He probably doesn’t even know who I am”

“Fuck off” Ian scoffed, arm looping around Mickey’s waist as he moved onto his side, “he will know who you are, okay?”

Mickey laughed bitterly, “yeah, for being a criminal”

Ian pouted and rested his head against Mickey’s shoulder as he spoke.

“I had a fucking shitty dad and I always swore I would never be the man my father was but now, four years later...I’ve already fucked up”

“Mick…” Ian sighed, looking up at him, “He’s four years old. You have time”

“Yeah, I know” Mickey mumbled, “Just can’t help but wonder what life would be like if I didn’t go to prison”

“Yeah, I wonder too” Ian admitted

Mickey looked him in the eye and he couldn’t find it in him to dig into that grave, so he reminisced about Yevgeny instead.

“I hated that kid, I really did” he admitted, “I didn’t believe he was mine. I had some post-partum type of bullshit. Every time I thought of that kid, I thought of what happened, my dad’s face when he walked in on us—” Mickey choked, but continued, “Now I know I was more angry at dad, not Svetlana, you, or the kid. I just couldn’t believe a man that once held me in the palm of his hands could crush me to pieces”

Ian felt his own eyes sting at the memory. This wasn’t a thing they often spoke about, Mickey often found it uncomfortable, but he was like an open book right now and Ian just let him speak.

“I remember when Svetlana put him in my hands after saying some bullshit about both of us taking care of him and I think that’s the first time I realized he was actually mine, and he was so fucking fragile, man. That was when I knew even if I couldn’t love him, I had to take care of him. No kid deserves a father like either of ours” Mickey quickly corrected himself, “Then again, no kid deserves a father like me”

His soft-spoken speech gave Ian a heavy feeling in his chest, he trailed his fingers along his jawline and brought his face to look to his own.

“Stop thinking this is it for you” Ian whispered, tears in his eyes, “You _will_ be back home one day and you _will_ be the father he deserves. You will _never_ be the prick your dad was”

Mickey huffed, looking away from his eyes, “It’s not possible, I’m a dead man”

“We’ll work on it” Ian told him, rather than suggested, “One step at a time, okay?”

Those blue eyes lingered to Ian’s and although he still couldn’t bring himself to agree, he nodded.

Not only was Ian the life he wanted. Ian was the life he _needed_. He was starting to realize that now.

He couldn’t stay here in hiding forever and the thought of the future terrified him, but he agreed with Ian. One step at a time.

Mickey nodded again, unable to find the words and Ian reached his arms around his neck, cuddling him close. Mickey shut his eyes, arms tight around Ian’s waist as he got on top of Mickey. They just held each other, comforting each other’s fears and doubts.

Ian pulled away and pressed a soft kiss upon Mickey’s forehead, Mickey breathed it in and reached for his jaw, both hands caressing his face lower so their lips could touch.

Soft and slow, they loved one another, lips twining as their fingers delicately outlined the curves and bumps of their bodies. Mickey slid his tongue in to get closer to Ian somehow and Ian oozed into the sensation, tongues now tasting as he could feel Mickey twitch from beneath him.

Mickey’s hands slipped up to Ian’s hair to ensure he wouldn’t move his lips away whilst Ian’s hand travelled down to their bare lengths, getting a hold around them both so Ian could move his hips in slow movements, getting them both warmed up.

An exhale escaped Mickey in response and deepened the kiss, pleasure striking in all the right places. Ian moved his lips away to latch onto Mickey’s neck, nipping teasingly before trailing hot kisses along his collarbone and the piece of art that sat on his chest.

“You ready?” Mickey breathed, “Get to it, I’m fucking starving”

Ian chuckled, not being able to deny the grumbles in his stomach, either.

He moved away from Mickey’s chest to give him a smirk before reaching for the drawer to pull out the lube.

“Do we need to buy more?” Mickey wondered

Ian held the lube in front of his face, “It’s half full”

“It’s half empty, bitch” Mickey snickered, “I’ll go shopping while you’re at work”

“Sounds like a plan” Ian laughed, moving as Mickey spread his legs, the both of them getting into some sort of brace position.

Their lips met again, instantly continuing where they left off as Ian flipped the cap, squeezing the gel onto his fingers and warming it up against Mickey’s sensitive hole that caused his breath to hitch before Ian placed some on his own, not even giving Mickey warning as he placed his hand on Mickey’s nape, pulling his lips away slowly as he pushed into the glorious Milkovich.

Mickey winced at first, clasping into Ian’s hair tight as his eyes stayed shut, already breathing heavy as he relaxed onto Ian’s length, loving the intense flames each consistent thrust brought him.

Ian let out a low groan, pressing his lips to Mickey’s jaw as they held one another, Mickey’s legs wrapped around Ian’s waist as he picked up the pace.

Their eyes opened for just a moment and Mickey’s breathing stopped witnessing the amount of love Ian’s eyes held. Fuck, he was so in love with this man.

Ian gave him a light kiss before a mischievous grin spread across his face, sitting up to yank Mickey down by the hips, pounding into him a bit faster.

“Fuck!” Mickey cried, hands holding Ian’s in place upon his hips as he took each thrust with stride

They rocked like a perfect song. Ian made eye contact with Mickey, who was so into the moment and let his body be satisfied. Ian loved how Mickey looked and how he pleased Mickey, it was something Ian would do forever if he had the chance. He bucked his hips to go that bit deeper, making Mickey cry out a soft whimper, reaching for Ian’s shoulders so he could pull himself up.

Ian caught Mickey’s back, holding him close as their eyes met with intensity, Mickey riding along with Ian’s movements, rolling his hips and ignoring the burning sensation that spread through his bones as their lips roughly collided, making out sloppily as they just motioned in perfect strokes to get each other closer to the edge.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” Ian breathed against Mickey’s lips, kissing back to Mickey’s neck as they held onto each other, continuing to whisper soft compliments against Mickey’s skin.

Mickey panted, clasping Ian’s head to his neck as the other reached for his length, pumping fast as they worked together, butterflies exploding with the words Ian murmured against his skin.

“S-Shut up” Mickey breathed, trying to ignore how flustered he felt, pulling Ian’s head so their lips could meet again.

He was sure if he let Ian continue his pleasurable word-vomit, he probably would’ve said _I love you_

Their tongues clashed as they got closer, Mickey rocking hard against Ian’s thrusts, the two of them getting more heated as they could feel those orgasms slowly rolling over the edge.

They pulled away, eyes closed as they kept their foreheads together, hyperventilating as the sounds that echoed the room collided with the sensations, hitting the target perfectly.

Mickey whimpered, his legs shivering as he tensed, digging his fingers into Ian's hair as he tried not to scream whilst Ian swirled his hips, panting as the tightness just made him come before it even registered. Ian let out a groan, thrusting hard once more which caused Mickey to release onto his lover.

Defeated, Ian and Mickey collapsed back down onto the bed feeling sweaty and full of love. Ian pressed a kiss to Mickey’s forehead, the pair hearing each other’s pounding heartbeats in that moment. They didn't want to move, even though the stickiness was almost too much to tolerate.

When Ian pulled out, it caused Mickey to wince at the emptiness, Ian chuckled before biting his lip.

“Want me to get the shower started?” he wondered breathlessly, Mickey nodded, just taking a moment to breathe it all in.

“Yeah, good idea” he exhaled

Ian smiled and leaned in for one more kiss that Mickey instantly latched onto, kissing sweetly before Ian pulled away and got out of bed, leaving Mickey laying there, satisfied and elated.

 

Mickey was dreading André’s arrival. He knew he’d be counting down the hours until Ian got home so he could have a distraction from whatever mood André was possibly in. He had a suspicion the whole reason André left was because of how Mickey had been treating him, but he wasn’t sure he could force himself to love someone he didn’t. It felt suffocating.

It felt like he was back at home when Terry was around and he and was forced to be committed to Svetlana even though he loved Ian.

He hated that he was back in this position where he was stuck and no matter which way he ran, he’d get into trouble.

“You sure you don’t want me stay?” Ian questioned as they sat outside the backyard on the same step Mickey had called André from yesterday, just sharing a cigarette as they threw the tennis ball for Chico to fetch.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine” Mickey assured, but Ian couldn’t help the sinking feeling the idea brought him.

Ian took a drag and passed the cigarette back before throwing the tennis ball Chico had kindly returned.

“I’ll keep my phone on me tonight, Alright?” Ian exhaled, “so just text me an _SOS_ or whatever—”

“Ian, I am a grown fucking man, I’ll be fine!” Mickey repeated, looking the man in the eyes under the darkening sky, “I’m good, okay?”

“Okay” Ian accepted defeat, watching how Mickey frantically inhaled and exhaled smoke, passing the cigarette back when Chico came back with the ball, where it was now Mickey’s turn to throw.

“Just keep him busy, play fucking Monopoly or something” Ian joked, laughing at himself.

Mickey snickered, shaking his head, “You’re a fucking dick”

Ian grinned, placing a hand on Mickey’s back and rubbing comforting circles as he inhaled the cigarette.

Mickey couldn’t help but lean into Ian’s touch, admiring how his fingers idled Mickey’s to place the smoke between his fingertips. He truly wished Ian didn’t have to work, but he wasn’t going to sook about him not being here.

He had already spent over a year putting up with André, he was sure he could handle a night alone with him.

 

“You sure you don’t want me to drop you?” Mickey wondered as he followed Ian to the door

“Yeah, Mick. I can drive, plus you’ve been drinking” Ian pointed out, turning to him

“Two drinks don’t mean I can’t fuckin’ drive” Mickey returned with a scoff

Ian just laughed, placing his hands upon Mickey’s cheeks where they shared a soft kiss goodbye.

Mickey sighed, not wanting to farewell his favorite red-head as he pulled away.

“I’m just a text away” Ian spoke with a soft smile, removing his hands from Mickey

“I know, I know” Mickey smirked, “Have fun at work”

“And you have fun with your dumbass boyfriend” Ian snickered, reaching for the door handle

“Hey!” Mickey told him off, kicking his ass playfully, “watch yourself”

Ian just looked back with a grin before pulling open the door, both Ian and Mickey’s happiness sinking at the sight of André walking up the dark driveway.

“Shit!” Mickey muttered, “Didn’t think he’d be this early”

Ian looked at Mickey with his brows furrowed with worry, “You’ll be okay?”

“Yes, go!” Mickey assured, nearly pushing him out the door as he grabbed a hold for the handle.

“Alright, Jesus” Ian huffed, walking away, “Bye!”

André didn’t even make eye contact with Ian as they passed one another, more focused on the dark-haired menace he constantly left behind.

Mickey took one deep breath, faking the most excited looking smile he could form.

“Andy!” He cheered as André approached, wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him in for a hug.

André dropped his bags and pulled Mickey in for a hug, appreciating the sudden affection

“Hello amor” he chuckled, pressing his lips to Mickey’s head.

Whilst Mickey acted as if he were into it, he looked at Ian as he walked to the car, noticing the dull look in his eyes before getting in.

God, Mickey was starting to hate himself.

He pulled away from the hug, continuing the fake smile as he looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes. André just reached for his bags, chucking them into Mickey’s arms before making his way inside.

“We got any food?”

“uh, I’m not sure. You can check” Mickey told him as nicely as he could, closing the door.

André was making his way down the hall before Mickey got the chance to continue the conversation.

He tightened his jaw, trying not to let anger rip through his veins as he became a slave to his boyfriend, going upstairs to put his bags in their room.

 

André raided the fridge with dissatisfied eyes, pulling out a beer for his own amusement before reaching for the roast chicken that was almost a carcass.

He placed the plate of roast chicken on the counter before opening his beer, feeling refreshed as he glugged down the bitter beverage.

Letting out a large careless burp, he placed the beer down and peeled the plastic wrap away and picked at whatever was left of the chicken.

Mickey entered the room and gave a distasteful look at the sight

“Did you wanna microwave that?” he suggested

“No” André scoffed, “tastes like shit anyway” he swallowed, sucking the remainder of the flavor off his thumb before sticking it back in the fridge uncovered.

Mickey kept his cool, taking another deep breath before making his way over to the fridge to grab himself a beer.

He popped off the lid and sipped it, keeping his eyes almost cautiously on the man he was beginning to despise.

“So, where’d you go?” Mickey wondered, almost as bitter as the beer.

André turned to him and shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“To my friend Marco’s”

“And you couldn’t fucking tell me that or text saying you were okay?”

“I was busy!” André claimed, sipping his beer, “god, you’re nearly getting as crazy as that gringo” he laughed

Once again, Mickey kept his cool, swigging his beer.

“Look, I’m here now, yes?” André pointed out, brows raised

“I guess” Mickey muttered, looking down. He wasn’t going to go full-Milkovich on André, that just wouldn’t be fair.

André sighed, placing his beer down and making his way over to Mickey where he peeled the beer from his grip and placed it on the counter, resting his hands upon Mickey’s hips. Mickey looked up at him but didn’t want to meet with his eyes, knowing where this was going.

“We’re alone” André sung softly with a smirk, “Wanna do something?”

Mickey hesitated, trying to think of anything to hold him off, he considered his eyes now.

“Let’s play Monopoly”

 

They did just that, and it was the most boring game ever in the history of Monopoly, but at least it killed an hour or two. Only a few more hours, and Ian would be strolling in the front door.

Mickey also sidetracked André with other activities like giving the dog a bath and pulling out the PlayStation they hadn’t used in a while. André was easily entertained, but Mickey feared he would run out of ideas and would force himself to bend over for the man.

Next, with the hour that remained until Ian got home, they just watched TV in the living room. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was on, which was okay, despite the fact there were no English subtitles.

Mickey sat next to André like an anxious child waiting for an immunization. He wasn’t comfortable, his body didn’t jigsaw together with his like it so easily did with Ian. They were two pieces that just weren’t meant to be.

An Ad break started and that’s when Mickey almost felt doom approaching, André pulling off the classic move and swiftly moved his arm to wrap around Mickey, his hand grabbing a hold of Mickey’s shoulder and massaging gently.

Mickey didn’t want to look at him, but could feel André’s breath by his ear.

“I missed you…” he whispered, almost causing Mickey to shiver at how cold his hot words made him feel.

He turned to face the man now with a fake smile, gentle and soft as he returned with an, “I missed you too”

André smirked softly, running his free hand along Mickey’s jaw as he leaned in for a kiss.

Mickey held his breath, shutting his eyes as he kissed those lips of poison, they motioned slow and tirelessly, André putting in all his effort to get Mickey going but Mickey just couldn’t take it, wanting to gag at the way his tongue begged for entry

He pulled away, eyes staring down so he wouldn’t have to witness the look on André’s face.

“What’s wrong?” André wondered

“N-Nothin’” Mickey croaked, before standing up, “I’m getting a drink”

André huffed with frustration, being denied by his lover once again. He watched Mickey walk to the fridge to get a beer, his anger starting to bubble as the thoughts he had encountered ever since seeing that tattoo on Ian’s hip came to the surface.

Mickey swigged his beer, making his way back to the couch before André’s words stopped him.

“Are you fucking Ian?” He asked bluntly, no fear in his voice.

“What!?” Mickey choked, feeling his heart rate rise at the sudden confrontation.

“Are.You.Fucking.Ian?” André asked again, standing up.

Mickey bit his lip, hesitating.

“Even if I was, why would it be a big deal?”

André laughed bitterly, “So you are fucking him!”

“I never said that!” Mickey argued, putting his beer on the dining table as he prepared for a real argument, approaching André, “Besides, how many fucking people have you fucked since being with me, huh?”

André shook his head, “That’s not the fucking point”

“Then what is your _Fucking_ point?”

“You haven’t slept with me in weeks! But you’re the horniest man I’ve ever known so where does your mojo go, huh?” André questioned.

Fire spread through Mickey now, licking his lips as adrenaline pounded through him.

“You want to know the truth?”

“That’s all I want!” André shouted, arms in the air

“I have been fucking him” he told him without fail, feeling a sense of pride take over him. It felt so good to let that out.

A laugh spat out of André as he paced around Mickey to the free space between the dining table and couch that served as a battleground. He scratched his lip as he wrapped his head around the thought.

“I fucking knew it” he muttered under his breath whilst Mickey just watched him, breathing deeply.

“Why do you care?”

“Because you won’t fuck me!” André shouted, glaring at him now, “That’s not how open relationships work, Mikhailo. Have you slept with _anyone_ since Ian’s been around?”

Mickey’s stomach sunk, unable to answer that.

“¡Mierda!” he yelled, kicking at the table that made Mickey flinch slightly, “I’m going to fucking kill him!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Mickey shouted, his gut churning at the thought. He rushed and grabbed his arm in hopes to calm him, give him what he wants and have it be over with, but André had other plans.

He grabbed Mickey by the shoulders and spun him, charging him hard into the wall. Mickey let out a grunt, his angry eyes like lasers glaring into André’s.

“You listen to me, puto” André began harshly, “without me you are _nothing_. Ian can’t save you”

Those words somehow made Mickey stronger despite how they hurt, he managed to get out of André’s strong grip, shoving the man back.

“Fuck you!” He spat, walking towards his beer but André pulled him back.

Mickey turned and was met with André’s fist that collided right into his head, instantly making him vulnerable.

André shoved him to the ground and got on top, all Mickey could see was red, feeling the sensation of his fist pounding into him relentlessly, he tried to fight him off, throwing punches and kicks but then André reached for his throat, giving a tight hold.

Suddenly, Mickey couldn’t breathe, taking back any thought he ever had saying he felt like he was suffocating, because now he was _actually_ suffocating.

“I fucking love you, you piece of shit!” André shouted, shaking Mickey as he struggled, vision blurring from the tears that glazed his eyes, but he didn’t stop fighting.

This wasn’t the end for him. He would live on, but would forever be dead inside.

With one strong push, he kneeled his legs and kicked André off, making the man lose his grip and stumble backwards.

Mickey instantly sat up and gasped for air, clasping at his throat and coughing as his tears fell, his head throbbing yet feeling completely numb.

André made his way onto his feet and caught his breath, looking at Mickey who was covered in his own blood but not feeling any guilt at the fact he could’ve killed him. He was mad. Heartbroken.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me” André’s breath shook, “After everything I’ve done for you”

Mickey took a deep breath that hurt his chest, causing him to cough before looking over at the hurt expression on André’s face.

Maybe he was right. Maybe Mickey was the asshole in all of this. Maybe he deserved to die.

He was born to be trapped with André. There was no escaping this.

No matter how hard his heart yearned for Ian, he’d have to let him go.

 

Ian walked in the door the second the fight had broken apart, and the white noise in his ears rang loudly like alarm bells. The atmosphere felt different—ghostly. Chico didn’t even greet him, just sat at the top of the stairs with his ears laid back, showing his fear.

_Shit_

Ian didn’t even think about possibilities, running down the hall and almost feeling a stab in the chest at the sight of Mickey covered in blood, grabbing the top of a dining chair as he weakly made his way onto his feet, his entire body shaking with fear and disempowerment.

Before Ian even questioned it, his mind began to race and he glanced at André’s fist that was bloody and raw.

Ian felt sick, his heart breaking in two. He had to get Mickey out of here. Now.

That was when Mickey’s eyes met with Ian, he froze. He didn’t need to see him like this.

“I-Ian—”

“Did he do this to you!?” Ian instantly accused, pointing at André as he made his way over.

“n—” Mickey tried to lie or say something but nothing would come.

“Come with me” Ian demanded, pedantically grabbing a hold of Mickey’s arm, “I swear I can make you safe, I won’t give up”

With the strength left in his arms, Mickey shoved him off, but Ian kept persisting.

“Ian stop!” Mickey pleaded, shoving again.

Ian froze, staring at Mickey helplessly. Mickey couldn’t help but analyze Ian’s behavior, it was as if Ian were manic, but there was nothing he could do. He wished he could go with Ian and never look back, but he couldn’t, not whilst André was alive.

Ian huffed, looking at André who had his arms crossed, glaring almost protectively. Ian’s eyes glazed with tears, unable to process what had happened. It felt like everything was rushing around him.

This was when Mickey remembered an offer he never wanted to take, and the words he was about to say somehow hurt more than the choking.

“Y-You need to go to a hotel, Ian”

Ian didn’t want to believe it, letting out an empty laugh as he shook his head.

“What?”

“I don’t want you here” Mickey croaked, the lie filling his eyes with tears that he quickly blinked away.

“No” Ian breathed, shaking his head, “Please don’t do this” he begged, grabbing a hold of Mickey’s arm again.

Mickey bit back his sobs by holding his breath despite the ache, allowing André to pull Ian off to which Ian fought back, shoving him off hard.

“No!” Ian shouted, hyperventilating as he looked over at Mickey with finger still pointing at André, “Don’t believe anything he tells you!” Ian started to cry, “He doesn’t love you!”

“Stop…” Mickey pleaded, looking away from him.

“Mickey. I love you” Ian cried, pointing to himself now, “I love you! I love you so much and I want you to come with me!”

Mickey felt his tears roll now as he allowed himself to look at Ian. All he wanted to do was say _I love you too_ and take off with him but he couldn’t. His body physically would not let him.

If he took one step, he swore he’d be an actual dead man.

_I can’t love you_

“I-I can’t—”

“ _Mickey…_ ”

_I do love you_

“I _don’t_ love you”

Ian felt like he was about to flatline, his heart wrenching at the way those words slipped from his lips. Ian’s lack of self-worth allowed him to believe it and he just couldn’t handle another minute in this house.

So, he turned his back on the bloody man he loved and the abuser he hated, walking out. Not another word to be said.

He loved this man and all his fighting went unnoticed. He had lost. It was over, he wished that André put a bullet through his head.

Ian walked out the front door and slammed it behind him, trying to bite back his sobs as he booked a cab before sitting on the footpath, knees huddled to his chest as he waited, mind spinning out of control.

His shaky hands held his phone and found a nearby motel to stay at. The second he locked the phone and was met with the dark space around him, he lost it.

He dropped his phone and sobbed into his hands, letting out all the pain he felt. It hurt to see Mickey like that. He didn’t deserve that, but he didn’t _really_ love Ian, did he?

Then again, no one _really_ does.

Maybe it was just what had happened that shattered Ian's hopes and optimism, but that was when a saving grace came through, Ian’s phone ringing obnoxiously to distract him from the ache in his chest.

He picked up the phone, taking deep breaths as he blinked the tears away to read Mandy’s name. He answered, shakily bringing the phone to his ear.

“H-Hello?” Ian sniffed

“He—” Mandy’s at first excited voice turned worrisome, “Shit, are you okay?”

Ian shook his head, venting to Mandy about what had happened and where he was going as he waited for the cab, hoping to get the worst of the tears out before he lost it at the cab driver.

 

Meanwhile, back inside the house, Mickey huddled over the kitchen sink, washing away the blood with a dishtowel. The stinging was bad, but the emotional pain was far worse.

Mickey was a born-and-raised fighter, and he fought back his tears, knowing well that his father would be ashamed by his sudden weakness.

He dried off his face and tried to control the way his tense muscles continued to shake.

“Let me help you” André spoke softly, reaching out for him, “Come here amor”

Mickey instantly flinched, “don’t fucking touch me!”

There was dead silence between the two for just a second before the hit-man's anger came to the surface once again.

“That’s it!” André shouted, grabbing Mickey and pinning him to the fridge.

Mickey tried not to show his vulnerability, keeping his eyes open no matter how badly he wanted to close them, just waiting for round two.

“If you don’t have sex with me or let me treat you with nothing but love, be ready to go back to prison where no one gives a _shit_ about you” André threatened, “You come into my life, I treat you with respect and this is how you repay me? Fuck you”

Those broken blue eyes stared into André’s as if they were prison bars.

“I’m sorry” Mickey croaked, “Okay?”

André huffed, licking his lips as he let Mickey go.

“Prove it to me”

“How the f—”

“Upstairs” He told him flatly, demanding, “now”

Mickey watched André walk down the hallway and somehow, despite how awful André was treating him, Mickey felt like the real villain in all of this.

He had hurt André, and worse, he had hurt Ian. He was the definition of a monster.

He didn’t deserve a happy ending with Ian.

So, through his aches and pains, he pushed through the throbbing in his head and found the strength to walk down that hallway, knowing that this possibly was what he truly deserved.

The sick part was, instead of worrying about himself, he hoped so badly that Ian was okay and would find true happiness back home in Chicago.

Maybe it was just the depressive nature tonight brought, but deep down he knew that this was far from over.

Ian wasn’t going to give up, even if Mickey wanted him to.


	21. Chapter 21

It was like being buried alive under 6 feet of wet dirt. It felt suffocating, it felt empty, it felt heavy. It was a scary sensation that Ian had experienced many times before, this wasn’t new to him.

He felt lower than low, his heart pounded like it was always moments away from a panic attack. Ian felt like if he inhaled too hard, he’d fall deeper into the dirt, the weight on his body forcing him lower into the ground, pressure so fierce upon his chest that his heart would surely break.

That’s what this was, heartache.

Heartache with a touch of heavy depression caused by his disorder.

He should’ve known this would happen eventually, especially with how many times he had neglected his medication recently, but every bone in his body creaked at any slight movement he had. He was held down in this bed by his dark thoughts, with no intentions of getting better.

He almost didn’t want to get better. He just wanted to lay here and have his body turn to dust.

It had been a couple days since he walked out on Mickey, and by the time he got to the Motel and settled into this creaky bed with itchy bed sheets, everything had caught up to him.

After witnessing _that_ and then being told to leave, he walked out with nothing but his mobile phone in his pocket, not even thinking about clothes or meds. He only just managed to scrape up enough cash to stay in this shitty Motel that smelt like pesticide.

He almost hoped to inhale it and…

His phone rang—It had rung one too many times over the past two days, but he couldn’t find the effort to stretch his arm out and grab it.

It rung and it rung and it rung, but all it did was bring tears to Ian’s eyes.

He wanted it to go away, he wanted all the pain in his chest and the foggy compression in his head to disappear.

He wanted to disappear.

 

* * *

 

_ Chicago _

It rung and it rung and it rung.

“Fuck!” Lip exclaimed, hanging up as it reached Ian’s answering machine for the umpteenth time.

“I’ll give it a go” Mandy told him, pulling out her phone as she searched for Ian’s number, “maybe his phone died or something”

Lip shook his head, knowing this wasn’t normal.

“If it was, it’d go straight to his machine”

Mandy pursed her lips as Lip pulled a cigarette to his own, lighting it up as the blonde pulled her hair to the side, bringing the phone to her ear and felt so anxious from the anticipation.

Again, it rang and rang and rang with no answer.

At first, it was Lip who was the calm one, trying to assure Mandy that Ian would be okay, but Lip wasn’t here to listen to how afraid and broken his little brother’s voice sounded. It was broken, raw, ripping at Mandy’s heart as he described the blood that covered her own brother’s face.

She hoped so badly that her phone call would settle him, she told him repetitively not to give up on this, that he worked so hard and couldn’t throw this away just because of Mickey’s obvious lie. She told him she loved him, she told him that Mickey loved him.

_‘He loves you’ Mandy assured Ian softly, ‘he loves you so fucking much, you have to see that. He wouldn’t have done all that he has for you if he didn’t’_

Clearly, it still hadn’t worked.

So, between Ian’s breakdown and Lip freaking out, she had to be the calm one in all of this, she had to relax the tense boyfriend she had just brought back into her life. He needed to not blow his sobriety, he needed to not get angry whenever he freaked out like this.

They had to work together to figure this out, Mandy needed to be the shoulder Lip could lean on when he needed it and vice-versa. Lip had to get his shit together, but Mandy wasn’t even sure how to defeat his ignorance and make him see that.

“No answer” she told him with disappointment

Lip shook his head, exhaling smoke through his nose as he paced the diameter of the living room, trying to think.

“I knew this was a fucking bad idea” he muttered, “I should’ve stopped him”

“Hey!” Mandy snapped, standing up, “This isn’t just about your brother, alright? This is about _my_ brother too”

Now still, Lip looked at his girlfriend with an empathetic glance. He was so torn about Ian that he forgot about Mickey who was probably beaten half to death.

“Shit, I’m sorry” he sighed, passing the cigarette over before taking a seat on the pleather couch

Mandy just smiled sadly, taking a drag of the cigarette as she tried to think of what they should do.

“Should we tell Fiona?” she wondered with an exhale, flicking the ash into the ashtray

“Fuck no, she’ll probably rat Mickey out. You know what she’s been like lately”

“Right” Mandy sighed, inhaling the smoke, “What if we go to Mexico?”

“No time. I don’t have a passport, plus I just got my job I can’t afford to lose it”

“Shit” she mumbled, passing the cigarette back

“Even if we could, we can’t afford it” he added, taking a drag

Mandy shrugged, sitting next to Lip, “I could”

“What, Mandy—no!” He told her, exhaling, “You have no clue what it’s like there and you didn’t even attend Spanish”

She scoffed, arguing, “You didn’t even _do_ Spanish!”

“Yeah, but I learnt in my free time. I’d know more than you”

Mandy just rolled her eyes before looking down at her perfectly manicured hands, there had to be something they could do.

An irritated sigh came from Lip as he ran his fingers through his hair, leg bouncing as his stress levels rose, “Fuck—I’m trying so hard not to think about giving in and drinking away this bullshit”

Those words upset Mandy in a way she couldn’t even explain. She felt like she was letting her brother and her favorite Gallagher’s down, none of them deserved this pain. Not Lip, Ian, Mickey or Mandy. They all deserved better.

“A beer won’t solve this” She muttered, turning her head to him but not meeting with his eyes.

Lip’s agitation defused at the sound of her insecure tone. He felt instant guilt, regretting those words and how they tasted. He put out the cigarette in the ashtray before looking at his girlfriend.

“I know” he huffed, gently tracing his fingers along her jawline so their eyes could meet.

The second those blue eyes hit one another Lip couldn’t help but blurt out his thoughts.

“You’re a constant reminder that I’m better than I used to be, I don’t ever want to be that asshole again” he assured softly, licking his bottom lip as he hesitated, “I’m sorry I get so carried away”

Mandy was almost speechless, “I-It’s fine”

Lip gave her a look of sympathy, pressing a kiss to the crinkle of worry between her brows.

“I’ll try call him again” he stated, reaching for his phone again.

That was when something hit Mandy, memories from a drunk night that was weeks ago now catching up to her. She excused herself from the couch where Lip tried calling his brother once again, rushing to her room.

Mandy raced over to her closet, ignoring the peacefully sleeping cat on her bed as she opened it, trying to avoid the downfall of her cluttered clothes and bags stumbling on top of her as she searched.

She pulled hard at a limited-edition Louis Vuitton she was lugging around that night, completely disregarding the value as she tore the clutch open, rummaging to the velvet lined pockets.

She opened it, her heart racing as her fingers caught the scrunched paper she had forgotten, but now she was remembering everything.

Mandy uncrumpled the piece of paper, smiling delightfully and feeling hopeful because after thinking her best friend and brother were doomed—here it was, Mickey’s phone number.

Before she could even wrap her head around it, she jumped up from the mess she had created and ran out of the room.

Lip hung up the phone with further disappointment, informing his girlfriend.

“He didn’t answer!” He called out

“Doesn’t matter!” Mandy replied, rushing over to pass the crinkled piece of paper

Lip stared at the paper, his big dopey eyes looking up at Mandy, his mind already running with answers as he recognized the smile on her pale complexion.

She nudged the paper in front of him and Lip took it without a second question, reading what looked like a telephone number poorly scrolled onto a ripped piece of paper.

“+52? What area code is that?” he questioned

“Mexico” Mandy grinned, correcting herself as she sat next to him, “Well, wherever Mickey is anyway”

Lip’s features dropped, knowing what this meant.

“Holy shit—How did you get this?”

“Weeks ago” she explained, “It was when I was out with the girls from school, I got home drunk and called Ian. All I remember is begging for the number, saying something like ‘ _well what if there’s an emergency_ ’ and he eventually gave it to me”

“Holy shit” Lip repeated, staring at it, “You think he still has the same number?”

“Hoping so”

Opening his phone, Lip thought it was worth a go, but Mandy snatched it from his grip, not allowing him to go any further.

“I’ll dial, don’t want you going off at him for no reason”

Lip scoffed, smirking playfully since he couldn’t deny the likelihood of that happening.

A nauseating nervous feeling spread throughout their stomachs as Mandy dialed, not even sure what to say to the brother she hadn’t contacted since he went to prison.

She was beginning to wonder if _sorry_ would be a good start, whilst Lip just crouched over the phone, elbows resting on his knees as his hands made an unconscious prayer.

If they could reach Mickey, then Ian would be saved.

* * *

 

_ Acapulco  _

Mickey sat out on his balcony, just as he had for the past two days, chain-smoking every cigarette in the pack as he looked out to the ocean. Sunrise and sunset, through the heat and crisp cold air, he sat in this spot, trying not to allow this situation to break him down.

Sure, the past few days had been rough. Mickey hated looking himself in the mirror each morning, hardly recognizing himself because it had been so long since the last time he had his face mauled to this capacity—but the swelling was gone now, just dark bruises, like the one Ian had, remained along his forehead, chin and nose.

Mickey also managed to put up with André, obeying orders like a slave to do whatever he asked, but he didn’t know what else to do. Not when all he could think about was that stupid redhead he loved who he would allow himself to get beaten for repeatedly if that meant keeping him safe.

Selflessly, he put Ian in front of himself as always, not even afraid to test his own safety as he tried to reach Ian with a phone call on multiple occasions, just wanting to hear that he was okay and so he would know where he was, but Ian never answered.

He was scared Ian was mad at him for what he had said, but he knew that couldn’t be it. After seeing him on edge like he was, it was likely he was either having a psychotic or depressive episode—not knowing which one was also keeping Mickey awake at night.

Mickey hoped Ian knew what was said that night was said out of fear, not out of truth. Mickey loved Ian, his heart had never felt so overwhelmed with emotion like it did when it came to Ian.

He should’ve just said _I love you too_ and taken off with him, but that probably would’ve been too risky.

Mickey hadn’t even finished his cigarette when he put it out, just looking at the phone he clutched onto constantly just hoping for a phone call from Ian.

He unlocked the phone and dialed, chewing his lip anxiously as the phone rang aggressively into his ear.

It rang and it rang and it rang.

No answer.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, hanging up as he tried not to let his panic claw up and clasp around his throat like André’s hands did.

He could’ve left a message, but he wasn’t even sure what he would say.

‘ _I love you,’ ‘I’m sorry_ ’

Just how weak did he want to sound? He wasn’t sure what to say anymore, despite all the flooding thoughts he was almost mute, speechless, incapable of finding the words.

Mickey was afraid he had truly fucked up this time. Ian came all this way and fought so hard for him and he completely disregarded his efforts. Maybe this was Karma catching up to him?

He probably should’ve left Mexico the second Ian apologized, but there was no looking back now.

Mickey’s heart suddenly jumped as the phone in his hand vibrated abruptly, not even reading the number properly as he answered, just hoping to hear that bright voice he adored.

“Ian!?” He spoke hopeful, trying to control his breathing as his heart pounded out of his chest.

“No, Mick” a familiar female voice spoke back, “I’m sorry”

Mickey’s brows furrowed, heart still not refraining from acting out since it was his baby sister on the end of the line.

“Mandy? How the fuck did you get my number” he instantly questioned

“Ian gave it to me for emergencies” she quickly explained, “are you okay?”

Mickey fell silent, trying to find the right way to answer that.

“I’ve been better” he admitted, hearing the anguish in his sister’s sigh

“When are you coming home?”

 “Mandy I can’t—” Mickey furrowed his brows, “Wait, why the fuck you calling me? What’s the emergency?”

“Ian, he isn’t answering our calls”

“ _Our?_ ” Mickey questioned

“Lip, he’s here too”

“Oh Jesus fuck—”

“You’re on speaker” she warned

“Shit, sorry Lip” he apologized

“None taken” Lip spoke up now, “not particularly a fan of you, either”

Mickey tightened his jaw, looking out at the endless horizon as he tried to make sense of any of this.

“Have you heard from him?” Lip wondered

Brought back to reality, Mickey faltered.

“U-Uh no, he won’t respond to my calls either. Do you know where he is?” he wondered

 “I called him the night it happened” Mandy spoke up now, “he sounded really off so I asked where he was heading and he told me he was going to the nearest motel”

Mickey’s mind instantly rushed to remember where that motel was and if he had seen it before, no words forming as his brain enveloped over where Ian was and what his mental state was possibly like.

What if he wasn’t even there? What if he was sleeping in a gutter somewhere and they had no idea?

“Mickey, when he left did he take anything?” Lip asked, causing Mickey’s worry to rise.

_Shit_

He just took off, no clothes, no money, no meds.

“Seriously, Mickey” Lip’s voice raised, but Mickey still couldn’t focus.

Ian had spent this entire time trying to save Mickey from this lifestyle he was stuck in and now here Mickey was, knowing it was his turn. He’d have to help and save Ian, no matter the risk.

Honestly, he wasn’t even sure he cared about the risks anymore.

“Fucking Christ, Mickey, are you there!?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Mickey snapped, jumping out of his seat, “I will go pack a bag of his stuff and find him okay!?”

“Thank you! Was that so fucking hard?”

Mickey rolled his eyes, but found satisfaction at the sound of Mandy slapping him.

“Sorry!” Lip winced, “I’m just worried about him”

“You aren’t the only one, shithead!” Mandy sneered

Mickey sighed, his attention being caught by the balcony door that was opened, revealing André standing there with a cautious look on his face.

“ _Fuck_ ” Mickey muttered, chest heaving as he met with his boyfriend’s eyes, “I gotta fuckin’ go, okay?”

“Alright, keep us updated”

“Of course, bye”

Mickey hung up before Mandy and Lip had the chance to say anything else, rushing to grab his pack of cigarettes and put them in his pocket, along with his phone.

“What was that all about?” André wondered, watching Mickey grab one of the half-smoked cigarettes from the ashtray

“Ian’s in trouble” he told him without fear, placing the cigarette between his lips

“And why’s that our problem?” he scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“It’s not _our_ fucking problem” he mumbled, lighting the cigarette, “It’s _my_ problem” he exhaled, making his way past André to go to Ian’s room.

André caught Mickey’s wrist and Mickey turned to him, unafraid as his determination took hold.

“Where do you think you’re fucking going?”

Mickey huffed, “I’m taking some shit to Ian, that alright?”

“You _sure_ you want to do that?” André growled, “Do I need to remind you of why he left?”

Mickey laughed distastefully, pulling the cigarette from his lips, carelessly exhaling the smoke in his face. André just breathed it in, not batting an eyelid.

“Don’t you fuckin’ worry, these bruises are enough of a reminder” Mickey spoke darkly, pulling his arm out of André’s hold and making his way towards the door.

“You still going?” André barked a laugh, “You really that stupid, puto?”

“I’m not going there to fuck him!” Mickey snapped to him, “I’m going there to fuckin’ help him, like a good _friend_ would. If you have a problem with that then go ahead, kick me out on the street, see if I care!”

André was thrown aback by Mickey’s sudden fearlessness that caused him to feel powerless, since no matter how hard he hit him, his fist couldn’t keep Mickey away from that _crazy gringo._

Hesitating, André was the scared one now. He didn’t want to lose Mickey and become the lonesome one. Mickey just rolled his eyes, reaching for the door handle.

“How long you going for, then?” The older boyfriend wondered

“Dunno” Mickey shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette, “till he feels better?”

“If you’re there for longer than 24 hours I’m tracking you down” André promised threateningly

“Okay, sure princess” Mickey scoffed, shaking it off as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

 

Mickey got to Ian’s room and hated how cold it felt without him inside. Frankly, he hated how cold it felt in this house without him in general. It was like the sun in his life had truly disappeared and was just trapped in an endless snowstorm named André.

But he had no time to dwell on that now, keeping his thoughts at bay as he rushed over to Ian’s wardrobe, huffing and puffing on the cigarette that sat between his lips as he pulled out shirts, pants, socks and boxers, throwing the clothing onto the bed before grabbing his charger and any other essentials. It wasn’t everything Ian owned, but it was hopefully enough for the next few days until he could convince André it’d be safer for him to come home.

He then made his way into the bathroom, flicking the ashes into the sink before grabbing his toothbrush, toothpaste, electric shaver and deodorant, as well as the meds he had left behind.

Mickey couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at how the scent of Ian still lingered the air. He couldn’t believe how melancholy this situation had become. If he got to the motel and found Ian in a depressed state, he wasn’t sure how he would cope.

Placing the items on the bed, he made his way to the closet to grab his coat, noticing the duffle bag that sat on the top shelf. Mickey leaned onto his tiptoes so he could reach for it, noticing how something slightly heavy rattled inside the bag as he pulled it down.

Furrowing his brows, he threw the coat and bag down, pulling the cigarette from his lips as he unzipped the bag, eyes growing wide at the sight of a shiny pistol sitting there.

This was Ian’s bag, right? How long had this been sitting here?

Why and how did Ian get a gun?

Mickey pulled the pistol out, instantly evaluating the value and model of the weapon before checking how many bullets remained to find all still sat there, ready to be fired.

He clocked the gun back into safety and recognized the stain on the shiny gun and the reddish tone. Then it suddenly added up, this had to be André’s gun and he must’ve pistol-whipped Ian.

Mickey knew the scar was all too familiar to be from the corner of a table, a pistol made a lot more sense.

Remembering what he came into this room for, he tucked the gun into the back of his pants, pulling his shirt over to cover as he shoved Ian’s items into the bag.

Grabbing Ian’s medication, he opened a pocket perfectly sized for them before freezing as more hidden objects came to the surface. He pulled out a generous stack of money, a grin spreading his face as he began to wonder if this was a bag André had tucked away for Mickey not to find or…

That was when he noticed a folded-up piece of paper. The cash suddenly had no value to him, putting it away as he pulled out the paper, sitting down and placing the cigarette back between his lips as he opened it up, his heart skipping a beat at Ian’s familiar handwriting scrawled messily over the page.

  1. _Break up with Trevor_
  2. _Contact Mandy, see if she knows where he is_
  3. _Get time off work_
  4. _Take all money out from savings_
  5. _~~Get meds from Doctor~~_ _steal meds from pharmacy ~~~~_
  6. _Convince family I’m going on holiday ~~~~_
  7. _Steal car and head to Mexico ~~~~_
  8. _Find Mickey ~~~~_
  9. _Get him home and fix his fugitive status/retrial? ~~~~_
  10. _Happily Ever After? ~~~~_



Mickey couldn’t help but smile, overwhelmed with both love and sadness. Maybe it wasn’t anything special, but seeing this ‘ _plan_ ’ of Ian’s in front of his eyes made him realize that despite all odds, Ian truly did love him this entire time and those words of _Happily Ever After_ were going to haunt his mind forever. 

He wasn’t sure if he was capable of what Ian had planned, he wasn’t even sure Ian knew how this plan would work out realistically, or if it was just his imagination that fueled his determination.

All Mickey knew was that he’d have to thoroughly think this through when he had the time, placing that note and money back into its pocket as he decided to focus on what was more important right now—Ian’s wellbeing.

Mickey got up and opened Ian’s window just so he could throw out the cigarette that had extinguished between his fingers before making back to the bed where he finished packing the bag, zipping it up and throwing it over his shoulder, grabbing Ian’s coat as he made his way for the door.

 

Mickey almost raced towards the stairs as André came out of his room, incapable of finding words as he watched the man he thought he loved make his way out of his heart.

“You at least going to say goodbye to me?” André wondered as Mickey seemed to avoid eye contact, heading down the stairs.

Mickey paused, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he gave in, turning around to walk up to him, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips.

It wasn’t a kiss out of love, but just a kiss to convince him that he would be back, to trick him into thinking all he ever truly wanted was André, which was obviously a lie.

André cupped his face, pulling him into a deeper kiss. Mickey closed his eyes tight, pretending to reciprocate the kiss before almost forcing himself away.

“I gotta go” he breathed against André’s lips.

André sighed, letting him go, “Fine”

“Bye” Mickey smiled softly, making his way down the stairs.

“Wait! Do you need help finding him?” André wondered, chasing him down the stairs

“I’m sure I’ll be fine”  

“Okay well, call Daniel, maybe he knows something”

Mickey gave André a strange look, wondering why he was suddenly softening up and even trying to help him find Ian.

“Why are you being so nice about this?” he questioned as he reached the bottom, looking back at the narcissistic man.

André shrugged, “I love you”

Mickey looked down, biting the inside of his cheek, trying not to be fooled by his soft nature.

“I’ll be back tomorrow” Mickey promised, glancing at him quickly as he reached the door.

Ignoring André’s goodbye, he made his way out the door and towards the car Ian typically drove, pulling out his key and unlocking it.

Mickey opened the door and took a seat behind the wheel, throwing Ian’s things onto the passenger side before slamming the door behind him. He put the key in the ignition and felt everything catch up to him.

He hit the steering wheel with a hard punch, angry at himself as his throat tightened and those overwhelming emotions took its toll. Mickey took deep steady breaths, just taking this moment for himself.

Why was everything so fucked up? Ian didn’t deserve this, and Mickey couldn’t help but feel responsible.

Mickey sniffed, looking at the coat that sat upon Ian’s duffle. He just couldn’t help himself, grabbing a hold of it and dragging it onto his lap. He pulled it up to his nose as he rested his head against the steering wheel, just inhaling that soft musk of Ian’s as the tightness in his throat got tighter, exhaling a dry sob as his guilt and aches spread through his body.

He just wanted Ian to be okay, he wanted them to be okay, but they still had a long way to go.

Mickey clenched onto Ian’s coat tight, taking deep breaths so he could calm down. He forgot how much it ached to miss a person so much.

Shaking his head, he snapped out of his agony for the time being and tossed the coat back onto the passenger side, pulling out his phone to obey André for what he hoped would be one of the last times.

He dialed the number of a man he had learnt to tolerate, putting it on speaker as he threw it onto the dashboard of the car. Mickey started the engine, pulling his seatbelt on as he waited for Daniel to answer.

“Hello?” Daniel’s voice spoke casually

“Hey, it’s Mickey” he responded, shocked by how his voice shook as he reversed out of the driveway.

“Oh, hi” Daniel huffed, “What’s up?”

“Have you spoken to Ian at all over the past couple days?” he asked, focused on the road as he drove towards the city center

“No, I called him earlier to see if he wanted to hang out but he didn’t answer”

Mickey sighed, “I was afraid you might say that”

“Why?” Daniel asked with concern, “What happened?”

Mickey wasn’t even sure how to explain, but tried his best.

“Ian and I have been fucking and André found out—”

“ _Shit_ ”

“He wasn’t exactly happy about it” Mickey continued, “took it out on me and when Ian got home, I kicked him out”

“Wait, why’d you kick him out?”

“I’m not even sure anymore, I just thought it’d prove to André that Ian didn’t mean anything to me, even if it’s a fucking lie I just didn’t know what to do”

Daniel hummed as he took in the information.

“Ian told me about you two a while ago” he admitted, “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Mickey scoffed, not even shocked he knew, “I’m fine—that’s beside the point anyway, my sister called and said he told her he was staying at a motel but I don’t know which one. I called to see if you might know”

“Sorry, I have no idea” he sighed, “I’d say try the Motor Inn, that’s the closest to you”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking” Mickey mumbled, turning a corner, “dumbass didn’t take any clothes with him or meds so who knows what he’s like”

“Fuck that’s shitty, I wish there was something I could do”

Mickey just exhaled harshly, because there was nothing _to do_ and he didn’t call Daniel for his sympathy.

“You know he loves you, right?” Daniel felt the need to mention

“Yeah” Mickey cleared his throat, “he told me when I made him leave”

“Oh fuck”

Mickey just nodded

“Do you love him?”

“What do you fucking think?” he ridiculed, “I’m risking my entire fucking relationship to make sure he’s okay”

“I think you need to take risks like this more often”

Now that hit a spot in Mickey he tried to keep buried, biting back his anger as he came to a red light.

“I gotta go, man”

“Oh—Okay, let me know how he is”

“I will” Mickey promised, reaching for the phone, “bye”

“Bye”

 

He drove up to the half-empty parking lot of the Motor Inn and pulled into a spot by the reception office, pulling up the handbrake as he put it in park and turned off the car. Mickey took more deep breaths to control himself from losing his cool and grabbed Ian’s items, sliding his phone into his pocket.

Mickey got out of the car, making sure to lock it behind him as he made his way to the reception, lugging Ian’s stuff on his back as he pushed through the door, walking with his typical tough-guy attitude as he reached the counter.

“Hola” the woman with the nametag ‘ _Renee_ ’ spoke with a kind smile.

“Hola” Mickey smiled, “¿Habla inglés?”

“¡Sí!” she grinned, “What can I help you with?” her accent spoke flawlessly

“I was just wondering if a man named Ian Gallagher is staying here?”

“Let me check” she nodded, looking at the computer.

Mickey looked around slightly anxious, hoping this dump of a place had the answers. It was cheap, paint had chipped and wood was scarred from termite infestations which was a fair indicator that Ian was likely here, since it was probably all he could afford with the cash he had on him.

“Mr Gallagher is staying in room 28” Renee told him, snapping Mickey out of his wander.

“Oh, thank you” Mickey nodded, ready to say goodbye.

“Did you want me to call and let him know you’re here?” she wondered

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go surprise him”

The pair said goodbye and Mickey made his way out of the reception, following the numbers on each red door to the number 28.

Mickey was honestly bracing himself for the worst, expecting to find Ian in a state that ached him in an unexplainable way. He slowed down as he approached the door, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before hesitantly knocking at the door.

“Ian?” Mickey wondered, waiting for a reply.

When the reply never came, Mickey tried not to picture the worst as he choked back oncoming tears, knocking harder.

“Ian! Open the door!” Mickey pleaded, chest heaving as he looked around to make sure no one was looking.

Mickey was quickly losing his patience, he needed to know Ian was alive and somewhat okay.

“Fuck it” he muttered, twisting at the door handle and breaking the cheap door open with ease.

He stumbled in, dropping the bag onto the cold tiled floor as he found nothing but a dead silent, dark and cold motel room. Trying not to let those thoughts flood his mind, he closed the door behind him, making his way toward the bedroom.

Mickey crept his way through the still room, approaching the bedroom that had its door wide open. He braced the entry, carefully walking in.

Just as expected, there he was, wrapped in sheets on the double bed in a room that was dimly lit from the sun bleeding through the curtains. Mickey’s heart broke at the sight, Ian didn’t even flinch when he walked in, he just stared at the door to the bathroom dead-eyed. Mickey didn’t even want to imagine how long he had been lying in bed like this.

And still, he couldn’t help but feel responsible.

“I-Ian?” Mickey’s voice shook, not even hesitating as he made his way to Ian’s side, crouching down to see his face.

Despite how much sleep Ian possibly had, there were dark circles under his eyes, his entire face and lips washed out from not eating or drinking anything in so long. It was killing Mickey inside, but he tried not to show it, smiling kindly at the sad green eyes that met with him.

“Hey” Mickey whispered, running his fingers along Ian’s bare shoulder

Ian found himself lost for words, a part of him was so grateful Mickey had come, but another wished he had left him here to rot, because he didn’t want Mickey to be this person, trapped as a caretaker every time Ian fucked up. This wasn’t fair on him.

“Go away…” Ian managed to let out, tears forming, “you don’t need this”

Mickey shook his head, his eyes stinging from the pain as he moved his hand to hold Ian’s.

“I-I do” he assured, “I need you”

Ian just gave him a pained look, hating the bruises André had created. He wished he hadn’t caused this mess, wanting all of it to go away as he closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at him, those tears making their way onto his pillow.

“C’mon Ian” Mickey sighed, rubbing at his arm, “I brought your meds, okay? I’m going to bring you home”

Ian heard him but just ignored it, staying still as that cloudiness in his mind wouldn’t allow him to move.

He knew this must be hard for Mickey since Mickey is a natural healer, he’s always tried to fix things, but he can’t fix bipolarity, which Ian has already told him before but that wasn’t going to stop Mickey from trying to help him keep it under control.

He was stubborn that way, and Ian being just as stubborn didn’t help him accept it.

Mickey didn’t allow his emotions to take hold and got straight to business, getting up and racing to grab Ian’s things, throwing them onto the kitchen counter and pulling out his meds, popping out all the ones he’d need before getting a glass of water for the broken man in the next room.

He made his way back in and crouched back down beside Ian again with the water and pills.

“Hey” he nudged softly, “I got you meds and a glass of water. Do you want to sit up for me?”

Ian opened his eyes, giving Mickey a look of _Don’t Do This,_ but Mickey insisted.

“Please, you know they’ll make you feel better”

Ian still had nothing to say, wrapped in his prickly bed sheets as he kept feeling pity seep into every molecule of his body.

Mickey let out an agitated sigh, placing the cup of water and pills on the bedside table before reaching for Ian’s phone, his heart sinking at how many calls and texts there were from everyone that cared. He replied to Lip and Daniel quickly to say he was with him and that he would be okay before placing it down. Ian just watched as he did so without even questioning why.

“Okay” Mickey inhaled, looking at Ian again, “Will you please take them? If not, just say something other than _leave_?”

Ian didn’t speak, not because he didn’t want to speak, but because he didn’t know what to say since all he wanted to do was tell him to leave and be happy without him.

Mickey chewed his lip, trying not to let his tears escape at the sound of silence. His frustration began to bubble to the surface as he stood up, Ian watching as Mickey made his way towards the door.

Ian hoped Mickey would walk out and forget about him, but that likely wasn’t the case.

Mickey pulled out the gun from his jeans, placing it on the cheap wooden desk and started to undress as he made a declaration.

“You just wanna lay there and not say shit? Fine, I’ll just lay with you till you feel like talkin’”

Ian’s eyes suddenly awakened, staring as this beautiful man as he kicked off his shoes and removed his clothing until he was in nothing but his boxers.

Mickey walked around to the opposite side of the bed where he ducked under the covers, finding discomfort at the cold, hard mattress and itchy sheets, even though that’s what he had put up with for majority of his life.

He snuggled up close to Ian, spooning him as his arm circled his waist and his lips pressed a comforting kiss to Ian’s freckled back. Ian managed to form a smile at how Mickey’s body radiated onto him, maybe Mickey did love him, after all? A happy tear now escaped as he rolled over, pressing his head into Mickey’s chest whilst Mickey just held him there, running comforting circles along his back as Ian continued to cry softly.

Mickey wasn’t sure why Ian was crying but he didn’t care, he just held him against his chest, making soothing sounds until they both fell into a peaceful sleep which was something neither of them had experienced for what felt like forever.

 

As the sun began to set, Ian’s phone rung loudly with an alarm, waking up both the men who were still in a perfect embrace.

“What is that?” Mickey croaked, confused as to what time or year it was.

“My alarm” Ian mumbled, sniffing as he moved his head away from Mickey’s chest and bringing it back to the pillow so he could breathe.

Mickey couldn’t help but smile at the fact Ian had finally spoken actual words as he reached over him for the phone that blared through the room, switching the alarm off and turning the lamp on.

His eyes squinted at the bright light but quickly adjusted as he sunk back down next to Ian.

“What’s the alarm for?” Mickey wondered

“Work” Ian sighed, wiping his tired eyes.

“Oh well” Mickey spoke lightheartedly, “they’ll figure out you’re not going soon enough”

“Yeah” Ian huffed, meeting his eyes to Mickey’s, unsure of what to say.

“You feelin’ better?” Mickey whispered, grabbing a hold of Ian’s hands.

“A little” he muttered, watching how Mickey continued to soothe him by running slow circles on his palms with his thumbs.

“I’m so sorry this happened” Mickey croaked, swallowing the dryness in his throat.

“It’s not your fault” Ian assured, “I’m sick”

“Don’t say that” Mickey told him off, eyes meeting with Ian

“Why not? It’s not like I haven’t gone through this before”

“But this—this is because of me”

Ian shook his head slightly, “it’s not”

“It is” Mickey assured, eyes glazing with tears instantly as flashbacks started, “I was stupid and told him about us. If I just told him no and let him fuck me, you would be okay”

Ian’s jaw tightened as he couldn’t find words, but found the strength to wipe Mickey’s tears away.

“I was so scared, Ian. Not for me, but for you, I was worried this would happen because of me and it did. I’m so sorry” he whispered as the tears continued to fall.

“It isn’t your fault” Ian told him again, “I should’ve been taking better care of myself”

Mickey didn’t want to accept what he was saying, sniffing as he shook his head.

“Listen to me, Mickey. I would’ve ended up here either way, so please stop blaming yourself”

Ian held onto Mickey’s hands again, now being the one to trace comforting circles no matter how badly his body ached.

Mickey sighed, pressing his forehead to Ian’s as he just accepted what Ian was claiming. He had to stop pitying himself now and focus on getting Ian out of this bed, one step at a time, just like everything else about them lately.

“Do you want to try and take your meds?” Mickey wondered softly

Ian instantly stopped soothing Mickey, looking down as he found it hard to explain how his depression made him feel like he was trapped in a web.

“How about I order us some pizza for dinner?” Mickey offered, pulling his head away so he could look at him properly.

Ian continued to stay silent

“Fuck, have you moved at all over the past two days?”

Now, Ian just shook his head, not being able to meet with Mickey’s eyes.

“Not even to piss?”

“No” Ian’s voice croaked, his vulnerability present, “I’m scared that if I get out of this bed, I’ll do something I’ll regret”

Mickey tried to be helpful, instead of getting upset that Ian would ever consider hurting himself and his gorgeous soul in any way.

“Well I’m here now and I promise I won’t let you do anything bad, okay?”

Those sad green eyes finally found the strength to look at Mickey, causing him to smile only the slightest.

“I’ll work you through it. One step at a time”

Ian gave in, nodding slightly, “Okay”

“Okay” Mickey repeated with a not as he sat up, comforting hands holding onto Ian as he found the strength to sit up, leaning against the wall of the shitty motel room.

Mickey reached over for the pills and water that sat on the bedside table, placing them in Ian’s hands, coercing Ian who stared at them lifelessly for a moment before popping them in his mouth, using the room-temperature water to wash them down.

A proud smile came from Mickey as Ian downed the entire glass, not realizing just how thirsty he was before placing the glass on the bedside table.

“Are you ready to go to the bathroom?” Mickey asked with an awkward laugh, causing Ian to smile.

“Pretty sure I can wipe my own ass, Mick” he chuckled lightly, “but you can walk me there if you like”

 

After a long time spent in the bathroom, Ian showered with the door open so Mickey could keep a close eye on him as he waited for the pizza to be delivered. Mickey also attempted to make the place cozier, turning on the lights and the shitty TV before switching the heat on since this place somehow managed to be so cold. It were as if there were ghosts haunting the air.

Once the pizza arrived, Mickey and Ian sat on the worn-out sofa that reminded Ian too much of home, huddled up in a blanket as he chomped down slices of pizza before he could even taste the actual flavor of it all.

Being warm, hydrated and fed did help to some extent. His mind was still a bit foggy, but he could do things without breaking down into tears which was a definite improvement.

Mickey stood by him through it all and instead of whining, Ian was grateful and understood what Mickey meant all those years ago.

_‘It means we take care of each other—thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.’_

Ian tormented Mickey for that line before, but now he was realizing how bad he wanted to go through it all with Mickey, live a life with him, maybe even marry him.

He couldn’t help but dwell on what could’ve been if he had never left him the first time.

“I wish you never went to prison” Ian muttered, eyes on the TV as Mickey chewed slowly on his crust.

“Same” Mickey replied casually, watching TV.

“I’m not just saying that” Ian told him, looking over at Mickey who now chucked the remainder of the crust onto the cardboard pizza box.

“What are you getting at, then?” Mickey wondered, brows furrowed

Ian licked his lips as he hesitated, “After leaving you, I did regret it, but seeing you get thrown in prison because of me hurt worse”

Mickey shifted his eyes, sure they have had this conversation before.

“I didn’t know who I was after you, Mick” Ian continued, “I couldn’t fit in anywhere—heck, I still don’t, but that loneliness caught up to me”

Trying to understand, Mickey stayed focused on the Gallagher.

“I never told anyone this, but one night after a shitty job I became so sick of being this—being me, and I felt like a burden to my family” Ian’s voice cracked, “I stopped by a bridge on my way home and I seriously contemplated jumping over”

Nothing pained like the ache of knowing the person you loved once contemplated leaving this world. Mickey didn’t care if Ian left him, because at least that meant they could always get back together, but if Ian ever killed himself, Mickey would never be able to see, hear or touch Ian ever again.

That idea pained him more than anything else in the world, Ian didn’t deserve to hurt and hate himself so much. Mickey wished it were him suffering with this incurable sickness instead.

“That’s why when I found myself in a low, I didn’t want to move because I knew that would be it for me” Ian continued, picking at the frayed edges of the blanket that wrapped around him.

Mickey wasn’t even sure what to say, but made his way closer to Ian on the sofa, just wrapping his arms around him and holding him close, head on his shoulder as he vowed to himself that he just couldn’t let Ian go, he would protect him fiercely, forever, no matter what.

“It was so scary, Mick” Ian whispered, his hand grabbing onto the arm that wrapped around him

“Fuck…” Mickey exhaled, “I don’t even know what to say, I’m just so glad you didn’t do it”

The idea of breaking out of prison and finding out Ian was dead brought a nauseating feeling to his stomach, but he ignored it because Ian was here, he was safe and he was in his arms.

“I’m glad I didn’t either, because I should’ve known things would get better. I should’ve known you’d be back” he huffed, “The only thing that stopped be was the car crash I witnessed, and somehow that was scarier, but I saved the girl before it went up in flames”

“Shit” Mickey muttered, lifting his head, “Is that why you wanted to be an EMT? So you could save people?”

“Well, originally it was a firefighter, because of my cheating ex-boyfriend”

Mickey scoffed, pulling his arms away, “Boyfriend, huh?”

“he wasn’t my boyfriend till way later, but I can’t say he didn’t help fill the hole I had created for myself at the time. I didn’t love him or anything, but filled that gap for me”

“Like André filled that gap for me” Mickey muttered, looking away from Ian’s stare.

“What?” Ian questioned as if he didn't hear

“Nothin’” Mickey shrugged, looking back at him now, “I’m just happy you’re better now”

“Well of course” Ian grinned, nudging him playfully, “I have you”

Mickey smiled and leaned in to press a kiss upon his temple before Ian pulled his face down for a soft kiss that tingled them both all over, just feeling love course through one another’s veins.

They motioned slowly, still so gentle and loving until Ian pulled away, unable to fight the bad thoughts in his brain as he recollected what caused them to get to this point.

“What about André?” Ian murmured, causing Mickey to pull away completely.

“What about him?” he wondered, confused.

“How are you here after what happened?” Ian questioned, “Actually, how’d you even manage to find me?

“Mandy called me and told me where you are, so I left” he explained briefly

“Did you tell him you were coming?

Mickey shrugged, “Yeah”

Ian backed off Mickey, staring cautiously, “You really want to risk that?”

“I guess?” Mickey huffed

Ian pursed his lips as he hesitated, “Then why don’t you take the risk to come with me back to Chicago?”

“For fucks sake, we are not doing this right now” Mickey groaned, rubbing his temple from annoyance.

“Do what?”

“Ian, I can’t fuckin’ risk it” Mickey explained harshly, “It’s safer for me here—”

Ian scoffed, “Being abused and used relentlessly, that’s safe?”

“It’s safer than going back to prison!” Mickey snapped, glaring at Ian, “What I have here is as good as it’ll ever get for me, you have to accept that”

“this is fucking unbelievable” Ian shook his head, ready to lose his cool. He couldn’t hold this back any longer, the fog in his brain turning into flames.

“I’m sorry Ian—”

“André works with Daniel, you know?” Ian abruptly confessed the secret he had kept for weeks.

Mickey froze, staring as if he couldn’t comprehend what Ian was saying.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“The great uncle that gave him the house is still alive, his name is Antonio and he’s one of the biggest drug-lords in the country. André works for him as a hitman. Daniel and André are also cousins, not best friends”

Mickey felt his face grow hot, his palms starting to shake as he felt the world around him begin to fall apart.

“You’re a fucking liar!” Mickey accused, standing up as nausea struck his stomach.

“I’m not, look at the files in his office, it’s all there” Ian told him, somehow tranquil whilst Mickey freaked out, “That cut on my head was from that pistol you found in my bag, it’s what André did to me after I figured it out. He told me if I told you he would kill me”

“Then why the fuck are you telling me!?” Mickey yelled as panic took control

“Because you think I’m more of a risk than he is! You’ve put your trust in a man who claims to love you and give you this perfectly domesticated life when in reality it’s fucked!”

“I can’t fucking believe this” Mickey's laugh was empty, not wanting to believe Ian but at the same time he just wanted to storm out that door and find out the truth, “Are you serious?”

“Yes Mickey, I wouldn’t lie to you” Ian sighed, “Not about this”

“Fuck!” Mickey shouted with frustration, knowing what he had to do as he paced to the bedroom to grab the gun that sat on the desk before coming back out

Ian’s eyes grew wide, jumping up and untangling himself from the blanket.

“What the fuck are you doing!? You can’t kill him”

“Not going to kill him” He muttered, putting the pistol in the back of his jeans, “Self-defense”

“Shit, Mickey” Ian started to panic now, “Are you sure you don’t want to calm down first?”

“No!” His voice leered, full of pain and betrayal, “I’m sick of his fucking lyi—I’m done!”

Mickey made his way to the door where Ian was quick to follow.

“Mick—”

“Stay here, get some rest” Mickey turned to him, “I’ll come back”

The door pulled open and Mickey stepped out.

“Mickey, Please—”

“Don’t you _dare_ follow me” Mickey snapped, slamming the door in Ian’s face.

And that was that.


	22. Chapter 22

Ian stared at the door, chest heaving as he tried to not let that fogginess take its toll again, Mickey had no idea what he was getting himself into, but by the time Ian pulled the door open to chase him, it was too late.

Mickey was already in the car and driving off into the night to confront his murderous boyfriend whilst Ian stood here, the sharp air wrapping around him like knives as he began to wonder what disaster he had possibly caused now.

He tried so hard not to hate himself for what was to possibly come, deciding to do as Mickey asked and close the door, impatiently awaiting for his return.

Ian made his way over and just sat on the couch, wrapping himself back up in his blanket as he waited, his heart pounding as he tried to distract himself with the television, but his eyes couldn’t stop glancing at that red door, just wishing for Mickey to be okay.

If he wasn’t back in the next hour, Ian was going to use whatever strength he had left in him to brace that twisted palace to help Mickey break free. He had to, it didn’t matter if Mickey had the gun, André was manipulative and could trick Mickey into thinking differently.

Ian’s biggest fight right now was his mental illness, he had to break through this low. He wanted to continue fighting for Mickey no matter what because maybe this was it, maybe this was the end.

Maybe this was the end of Mickey and André, maybe Mickey would finally be free and they could get the fuck out of here, but Ian didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Mickey tried to keep an even speed as he drove down the highway, but he couldn’t help but go a few miles over as the rage within him controlled his morality.

The dark sky was almost as dark as his mind, all his thoughts racing like a shooting star. Everything was starting to add up, all those trips away, the days André would say he was at ‘work’ but wasn’t seen by anyone at Cabeza Podrida, every time he seemed stressed and would say things in Spanish so Mickey wouldn’t understand—all of it added up.

Even how Ian’s behavior was like after that scar appeared on his forehead just added to the equation. Mickey should be angry at Ian for holding this secret back for so long, but knowing that Ian was threatened, and having felt that wrath himself, he didn’t blame him.

Mickey was beginning to wonder just how many secrets his boyfriend had possibly held back from him. Was his name even André? Was anything he ever felt towards Mickey true?

Mickey felt furious knowing now that he was beaten up for keeping his affair with Ian a secret whilst André lived a whole other life behind his back.

It just wasn’t fair. He had put faith and trust into a man who couldn’t even be honest with him, and perhaps it was hypocritical of Mickey to be mad considering his own criminal tendencies, but at least he could own up to his crimes whilst André hid from them.

The worst part was that through all his racing thoughts, he wasn’t even sure what to make of it all. Whilst it all made sense, Mickey couldn’t make sense of a possible outcome.

He wasn’t even sure if risks truly mattered anymore since he was facing a murderous man with nothing but a gun, but as of right now he just wanted to find out the truth.

And if what Ian claimed was the truth _is_ the truth, then Mickey would have to leave André.

He couldn’t risk being in an abusive relationship if there was no safety-net for him here. He’d have to leave André; He’d have to leave Mexico.

Mickey hadn’t thought far enough to know what would be next to him after that, but just like Ian’s list, one was beginning to form for Mickey, too.

**_Step 1:_ ** _leave André, even if it kills me_

The car pulled up fast and was quickly brought to a halt as Mickey parked it in the driveway, getting out and slamming the door behind him as he thundered his way into the house, banging and crashing as he raced up the staircase to André’s office where Ian claimed the evidence would be.

There was no hesitation within Mickey as he made his way to that office, forcing the door wide open.

He paused, scanning the room for a place to start. He should’ve known something was off about this room since it was a bit _too_ clean for an office that André spent a lot of free time in, and that thought alone increased his self-loathing.  

He should’ve known better.

Mickey’s eyes locked with the large filing cabinets and felt his chest overwhelm with adrenaline and suspense. He instantly made his way over, pulling open one of the drawers.

His eyes grew wide at the sight of years upon years labelling the files that were compacted tightly into the cabinets as if it were running out of room. He assumed ‘ _Mantenimiento del cliente_ ’ had something to do with clientele and pulled out the file for 2018, laying it upon the top of the files as he opened it, making his way through the papers.

Mickey could hardly understand the hand-written details since it was in another language, but there was a picture of majority of the clients, some that were even familiar to him as if he had met them before.

Then there were some with words written stamped across it in different colors. He rationally assumed it meant André had killed them, just shaking his head until he flipped the page, his gut almost dropping as he found Ian’s file.

His brows furrowed furiously, the photo laying on top was the one Mickey had for himself. Ian was only just 17 with short hair, his middle finger raised as a tight but confident smirk spread across his face.

The photo had been crinkled from all the years Mickey had kept it with him whenever Ian wasn’t around, he even had it with him in Prison. He used to have the photo tucked away in a box of stuff he had from when he first got to Mexico, then after having André distract him from his harsh reality and having Ian show up, he slowly forgot this photo still existed.

Clearly, André never forgot and had put it to his own use.

Mickey was beyond pissed off. Not only had André been lying, but he also went through Mickey’s shit and stole a photo that meant something so personal to him.

He folded the photo up and tucked it in his pocket, noticing the faint yellow marker that scrawled a question mark over Ian’s file. Still frowning, Mickey noticed there were very few lines of details compared to other files.

Why did Ian even have a file in the first place?

Just as he began to question it, heavy footsteps came pounding down the hall.

“Shit!” Mickey shrieked, his heart jumping into his throat.

His hands began to shake as he frantically put away the file, preparing himself for battle after finding out what Ian said was true, and that meant it was the end for André and Mickey.

“What are you doing!?” André’s loud voice rattled the room as Mickey slammed the cabinet. André was ready to lash out, charging towards Mickey in nothing but a towel.

Mickey turned to him and felt the unwelcoming embrace of André’s hands gripping his shoulders.

“You never learn how to behave do you?” he snarled, “maybe I have to punish you again?”

Mickey glared distastefully, shoving him off as he taunted, perfectly prepared and choreographed.

André raised a fist and Mickey ducked as it went swinging towards his head, his hand reaching for the pistol tucked in the back of pants, releasing the safety.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Mickey shouted, kicking André back

The man stumbled as Mickey raised from his position, pointing the gun directly at André as he stood tall like Ares, strong and intimidating against the man who was now struck like a deer in headlights.

In nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, André looked as vulnerable as he felt. Mickey had to smirk at it, his cold, wet and naked body had no weapon to use in defense.

“So it’s true?” Mickey questioned confidently, “You kill people for a living?”

André huffed, “Who told you that? Ian?”

“Just answer the fucking question!” Mickey persisted

The man that was now merely a stranger to Mickey stared, unable to find the answers. Mickey shook his head.

“un-fucking-believable” he scoffed, “This is what you do while you’re away, huh? Dealing drugs and killing people”

“Mick—”

Mickey instantly cut him off, voice harsh and filled with anger.

“I put my faith in you, I trusted you to keep me fuckin’ safe and out of trouble, but in reality—”

“As if you haven’t dropped bodies before!” André argued

“No” Mickey shook his head, “Maybe my brothers, father and uncles did, but I never followed through”

“you went to prison for attempted murder...” he maintained his claim

“It was a fucking accident! I didn’t give a shit because she fuckin’ deserved it but I never meant to try and kill her!” Mickey explained, “But you—you murder people all the time, why? For not paying or doing their fuckin’ job?”

Unable to give a reasonable answer, André stayed silent, eyes still locked on the gun that pointed straight at him.

Mickey felt ill at the idea that he had been in a relationship with a narcissistic, murderous and abusive sociopath for over a year, but it wasn’t just an idea. It was the reality, and that was far worse.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Andy” Mickey huffed, that name now tasting odd upon his tongue, “I’m fucking done, I can’t do this anymore”

“What!?” André stepped forward as his panic shined through, Mickey prepared the gun for fire, still holding the gun proudly despite how heavy it felt in his grip.

André shook his head, anger rising as he felt weak and exposed, now knowing that _gringo_ had taken his man away.

“I’m going to fucking kill him—”

“Come near me or Ian, and I promise I’ll put a bullet through your fucking chest” Mickey promised among his threat, brows high as André let out a bitter laugh.

“What, you think Ian is the good guy in all of this?” he scoffed, “Why don’t you ask him for the full story, ah?”

“The fucks that supposed to mean?” Mickey returned

“My great uncle found him at the back of a gay club, he was kickin’ and screaming like a baby and went on and on about you so we sent him here on a trip with Daniel to deliver some things”

Mickey stared, the gun lowering slightly as he now felt uneasy. Ian held this information back the entire time?

Through the apologies, the deep conversations; during the soft whispers of admiration and fucking, Ian knew.

Ian knew and he didn’t tell Mickey a word.

It was as if André and Ian had their own fucked up drama, acting like children about it behind Mickey’s back and that aggravated him more than anything because if he knew earlier, he probably would’ve helped Ian out of this mess and they would’ve been away from André and this mess.

They could’ve been safe and free together but no, they made it into a bigger fight than it needed to be.

His fury wouldn’t disappear anytime soon, and he wasn’t going to go crawling back to Ian after this. He was going to take a moment to himself. He deserved that.

“I’m still leaving you” Mickey managed to say without fault

“to be with _him_?” André wondered weakly, his shoulders hunched as if he had admitted to his defeat.

He wasn’t shot in the chest, but he may as well have been.

“No—I don’t know” Mickey sighed harshly, clicking the gun back into safety as he lowered it completely, “I just know I can’t be here anymore”

André nodded, chewing his lip, “So that’s it, then?”

“Yep” he told him simply, “I’ll be staying in the other guest room until I figure it out, right now I need a fucking smoke”

“Okay” André swallowed the tightness in his throat, those big brown eyes locking onto Mickey’s, “I’m sorry”

Mickey just exhaled, putting Ian's gun away as he shook his head, making his way past the half-naked and reached for his cigarettes, already lighting one up as he headed towards the back door.

When he reached the end of the stairs and entered the hall, he noticed a pot plant no one really looked twice at and made a quick decision.

He placed the cigarette in his mouth and reached into his pocket to pull out the folded up picture of Ian as well as the gun that was tucked in the back of his pants. 

Mickey had decided he didn't need these things on him that were weighing him down at this current moment. It was like carrying both Ian and André on him as if they were the devils upon his shoulders. He didn't need this right now, he needed to think.

So, he crouched down, shoveling some of the soil away to hide the gun and photograph, remembering to cover it back up before standing. 

He wiped his hands on his jeans and pulled the cigarette from his lips, exhaling a puff of smoke as he continued to approach the back door as if those two items meant nothing to him.

He was more than done with this entire situation and that anger still spread like wildfire through his veins. He still wasn’t sure what to make of any of this, he just wished he wasn’t lied to. He truly hoped a cigarette and the night sky would help clear his mind.

Mickey swore Ian was typically better than this which is why he was so conflicted and angry. What the fuck happened for him to think it was okay not to mention exactly how he got here?

Although Mickey probably should’ve questioned it earlier and stopped allowing himself to believe anything that comes from either André or Ian’s mouths, it was too late for that now.

That was it.

He was done. 

* * *

 

More than an hour had passed and Ian was ready to freak out completely. The cab he ordered had arrived and he quickly jumped up from the indent his body had left in the cheap couch, grabbing his phone and clicking the home button only to find it wouldn’t light up.

“Shit…” he muttered, realizing it must’ve died.

Luckily, he didn’t _really_ need it and placed his phone onto charge as he made his way out the door, the cab beeping as if he didn’t have patience to spare.

Ian didn’t give two shits about how he looked as he reached the car door, still in his tracksuit pants and a t-shirt as he got in. The Hispanic man who sat in the driver seat gave Ian’s bed-head an odd look.

“Hola” Ian smiled kindly

The man just smirked as if he were thinking _can you believe this gringo loco?_

“¿dónde vas?” he asked blankly

Ian told him the address and the man tapped it into his GPS, not saying much else as he drove away. Ian knew from then on that this ride would be silent, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

He was left alone with his thoughts, fighting back his demons as he stared at the slowly-clouding night sky.

Rain in Acapulco? That’d be a first.

Ian tried so hard not to worry that either Mickey or André could be dead right now. Not that it worried him if André was dead, he just didn’t want that type of blood on Mickey’s hands.

He tried to fight the guilt he had, he should’ve said it better, explained himself properly and shouldn’t have blurted it out just because he was getting annoyed. Mickey had no idea about any of this, and now he was fighting this head on like a bull.

Ian had to fight by his side, if there was a battle left to fight, that is.

Honestly, that compression in his brain just wanted to give up and have this cab turn around so he could go back to bed but his heart just couldn’t allow it. Not now. Not when they were so close to the finish line.

Ian could just feel how his stomach flipped over as they approached the big white house, he paid the taxi driver and got out, the feet he hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on stepped onto the cold cement, staring at the house as he swallowed his breath.

This was it.

Ian jogged towards the door, not wanting to waste any time as he approached the front door. He went to open it but found it was locked, his brows furrowed as he started banging at it, praying for a response.

Chico’s bark was loud on the other side, the red-head now hearing footsteps approach the door. He hoped so badly that it would be Mickey with a smile on his face saying ' _this is it'_  so they could move onto the next chapter of their love story, but that likely wouldn’t be the case.  

The door swung open, Ian thrown aback to see the sight of a weary-eyed André, nose red as if he had been crying. Ian’s stomach continued to flip, his heartbeat rising into his throat as he feared for the worst.

“W-What did you do!?” He panicked, “Where’s Mickey!?”

“Afuer—” he paused, clearing his throat, “outside”

Ian didn’t even hesitate, running straight through the house to the backdoor where Chico chased close behind. Ian pulled open the sliding door, his chest heaving as he embraced the darkness.

“Mickey!?” He called out, chewing his lip as his worry sunk in.

Ian didn’t want to allow himself to cry, he had to snap out of it. He knew Mickey had to be okay and out here somewhere. He forced himself to shake it off, making his way towards the pool.

He raced down the steps, pausing halfway as he saw Mickey throwing a finished cigarette into the chlorinated water, the smoke in his lungs now exhaling into the fresh air. He didn’t glance at Ian even though he knew he was there. Ian couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Mick—”

“You lied to me” Mickey cut him off, eyes now rising to meet with Ian

Stunned, Ian gave a look of confusion, stepping down another step.

“W-What do you mean?” he wondered, trying to slow his quickening heartbeat

“you knew this whole fucking time and didn’t tell me” Mickey accused

Still confused, Ian stayed quiet, hesitating to take any steps further.

The light from the house seemed to cascade around Mickey, making it hard to see his intentions. The dark-haired man paced briefly by the pool as he rubbed at his upper lip, just watching his cigarette float in the water as he tried to wrap his head around this entire situation.

“You never told me you got here by smuggling drugs for the same people André works for” Mickey brought the information to the surface, shaking his head with disappointment.

Ian started to feel his mind race, catching up to the pounding in his veins. He felt red hot, choking on his own tongue as if he got caught stealing chocolate from the candy store.

“I-It’s not what you think” he tried to explain, “I swear I didn’t know André was a part of this”

“That doesn’t fuckin’ matter” he huffed effortlessly, eyes still on the water

“Then what’s the problem!?” Ian’s voice raised, trying to understand

“Everything!” Mickey shouted, looking at him now.

Ian cowered, silent as Mickey released his heartache.

“If you had of told me about André earlier, I probably would’ve gone home with you!” 

Tears seemed to glaze Ian’s eyes now, regret sinking in as he realized Mickey was right. He should’ve said something, he knew Mickey was smart about these things, but he didn’t say a word and now Ian was truly a coward. Mickey was acting like he couldn’t trust him anymore.

“It shouldn’t have gotten this fuckin’ bad” Mickey continued to fume, “Now I have no fucking clue—”

“Mickey, please” Ian’s voice shook as he made his way closer, “just relax okay? We’ll figure this out”

Ian grabbed Mickey’s shoulder gently and Mickey almost lost it at his caring touch, shoving him off.

“You’re just as much of a risk as _he_ is” Mickey snarled, meeting with Ian’s heartbroken, angry stare.

“Don’t you fucking dare say that” Ian spoke, dark, threatening and full of hurt.

“Fuck you” Mickey spat, sparking the flames within the red-head.

“Fuck you!” Ian shoved back, “I’m nothing like him”

“Then fucking prove it!” Mickey pushed, the two now battling their own anger and self-destruction as they tackled.

“As if I haven’t proved enough!” Ian argued before grabbing Mickey’s collar to pull him in.

The two men met each other’s eyes with a daring stare, Mickey trying to calm the quaking through his body as he stared into those emerald eyes.

“Everything I’ve done to get here, was for you” Ian breathed bitterly through his teeth, “don’t forget that”

Both men stood, their heavy breaths filling the space between them as they stared at one another. That magnetism just wanting them to melt into each other but Mickey didn’t allow it, shoving Ian away once more.

“I don’t fucking need you” Mickey snarled

That’s where the mistake laid. As Mickey took a step back, he instantly found himself on the edge of the world, reaching for Ian’s shirt as he fell, Ian tried to grab a hold of Mickey to stop him but the grip was so strong Mickey managed to pull Ian in with him, also.

They crashed into the water, losing a grip on one another as the pressure ripped them apart. They reached out for each other but it was no use, everything was a blur.

Both felt like they had an awakening, almost like a rebirth as the liquid put out the flames within them, pushing themselves up from the bottom of the pool to reach the air above the suffocating water.

Mickey gasped for air as he catapulted from the water, coughing from the liquid that found its way into his lungs as he tried to stay afloat, Ian only a moment behind.

Ian pushed the hair out of his face as he recovered from the shock, now alarmed by Mickey’s struggle and the uncontrollable coughing.

“Shit, Mickey. Are you okay!?” Ian worried breathlessly, gripping onto Mickey’s now wet and heavy clothes as he dragged him to the edge of the pool.

Mickey just nodded, pushing himself up to sit on the land as his coughing slowly digressed, now just taking deep breaths that were interrupted with a slight cough every now and again.

Ian didn’t even care that he was chest-deep in water, he stood by Mickey, rubbing his wet back and patting at it to help soothe his lover as he recovered from the sudden swim.

Reaching for his pockets, Mickey sniffled, pulling out his now soggy cigarettes and wet phone. He threw the smokes to the side, knowing they were done for before aggressively clicking at his iPhone’s home button as if he tried to revive it, but it was done for.

“Is it broken?” Ian wondered, even though it obviously was.

“Piece of shit” he muttered, tossing the phone, “Needed a new one, anyway”

He let out a heavy sigh, trying to avoid the disappointment he felt. All those pictures, the ones of Yevgeny and text messages from Ian. Gone.

Luckily, he had tucked away that gun and the picture...

“Guess that’s what you get for having an iPhone 6 in 2018” Ian joked, a smirk now on his face.

“Shut up!” Mickey barked

The pair now began to laugh hysterically at how ridiculous this all was despite fighting only moments ago.

“Why are you still in the fucking water? Where’s your phone?” Mickey asked through his laughter.

“I left it back at the motel” Ian chuckled, “Thank god”

They continued to laugh for only a second before it subsided, Mickey now looking at the water around his legs with a deep thoughtfulness.

“I guess I do need you after all” he mumbled only for Ian to hear.

Ian smiled softly, placing his hand by the nape of Mickey’s neck so he could pull his head down to touch with his, stroking his wet hair softly with his thumb as Mickey closed his eyes, just breathing him in as Ian soothed.

Despite the calm, Mickey still felt lost and overwhelmed, biting back tears as he reached for Ian’s free hand that idled his thigh, just trying to enjoy this moment before things possibly got wild again.

“It’s okay” Ian whispered, sensing Mickey’s fears from how unevenly he breathed, “You got me”

Maybe it was something Mickey had said first, but to hear it from Ian meant something more. Mickey used to be this saving grace for Ian, he was always there for him from the beginning; he took care of him and he loved him despite all odds. He continued to risk himself for Ian even when he was so sure Ian didn’t feel the same.

Ian always _had_ Mickey, and finally, Mickey felt like he _had_ Ian, too.

Knowing this just made Mickey want to let his breakdown shine because their love was for once and (hopefully) for all mutual, but it hurt, because his mind still couldn’t form a sensible thought or decision.

He still felt so lost, and he wasn’t sure he could let Ian go again.

“I don’t know what to fuckin’ do” Mickey’s strained voice confessed

“It’s okay” Ian assured, pulling his head away so their eyes could meet, “You can stay with me tonight if you want, alright? We have time, Mick. You’ll figure it out”

Mickey smiled softly, thankful to have such a wonderful man in his life since it was only this morning that Ian didn’t want to get out bed, but now he was here for Mickey despite how shitty he truly felt.

Ian Gallagher was strong and he was right, he had done more than prove himself to Mickey over the past few months, he had reminded Mickey of what real love was actually like.

“Thank you” Mickey sniffed, “I’d rather stay with you, can’t stand staying in this stupid fucking house any longer”

“Okay” Ian nodded understandingly, “let’s go get some of your stuff and get out of here. You must be freezing”

Mickey hadn’t even noticed the soft shakes that trembled his body, more wound up in Ian’s sweet presence instead.

“Sounds like a great idea”’

 

André didn’t put up a fight with the men and mostly just ignored them as their now damp bodies prepared to get out of here, saying goodbye to Chico with a lot of cuddles before making their way toward the car.

Mickey allowed Ian to drive, sitting in the passenger seat on a towel where he blared the heater onto their faces to dry and warm them both.

“Hope we don’t catch a fucking cold” Mickey commented, rubbing his hands together before placing them over the vents.

“I know right—Jesus, can’t imagine us being back in Chicago after staying here” Ian chuckled, “we’d get frostbite”

Mickey just smiled, staying silent since he still hadn’t given a definitive answer. This decision was a big deal, he had no clue what would be next for them if he did go, but he wasn’t sure if he could cope a life without Ian again if he stayed here.

Ian wasn’t deliberately causing an ultimatum, he probably didn’t even think about what he had said, but Mickey couldn’t help but feel like he was at a crossroads and he was smack-bang in the middle of it. He wasn’t sure what road to take, he needed more time to think.

The deafening silence caused Ian to speak up, wanting to clear the air from the heated and almost meaningless argument from before.

“If you really wanna know, I didn’t tell you about the drugs because coming to Mexico was dark for me. I was mugged, robbed at gunpoint…They took the car and all the money I had on me, so I got drunk and went to a gay club to give blowjobs for money—like I used to back in the day”

Ian was cold and emotionless as he spoke, more telling a story than sharing the feelings involved, but Mickey stared at him with so much grief and sadness. No one likes to hear the person they love fall back into old ways when they had done so well for themselves.

It’s even worse when they fall into those old ways because of you.

“Fuck” Mickey exhaled, “I’m so sorry”

“Don’t be” Ian smiled slightly, eyes on the road, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to hate yourself for it, but André didn’t tell you the complete truth so I just wanted you to know I’m not a liar”

Mickey continued to watch Ian, just listening.

“I just forgot all that pain the moment I saw you again” Ian confessed, now getting flustered, “All that pain and relentless fighting was worth it though, because Antonio found me and helped me find _you_ ”

A smile grew on Mickey’s face now, looking out to the road ahead of them.

“Once I found you, that was it. Nothing else mattered, even if you did love André, I wanted to be here for you because I was really shitty at that before”

“Hey, it’s fine” Mickey assured, looking at him now, “really. I get it, I’m sorry I lashed out. This whole thing is just hard for me to grasp”

Ian glanced at Mickey with a smile, reaching his hand over to hold Mickey’s, linking their fingers as he drove as if to say he understood.

 

They got to the motel sometime far past midnight and despite their tired eyes, they managed to get the shower running, undressing out of their still slightly damp clothes and rushing to get their frozen bodies under the hot water.

Ian and Mickey tried to both fit under the single showerhead, now so different to what they were used to back at André’s, even the water pressure sucked, but it’s what you should expect when you get a shitty motel room like this.

“Stop takin’ up the water!” Mickey whined, pushing Ian against the wall of the small cubicle so he could have the water run over his body and melt the icy feeling his skin held.

“I’m not!” Ian pushed back with a grin before letting the water run over his face.

“The problem is that you’re fuckin’ tall and get all the water before it has the chance to reach me!”

Ian couldn’t help but chuckle, reaching for Mickey’s hands and pulling him so they were skin to skin, the water showering over them both.

“Better?”

Mickey hummed, nodding, “I guess”

Ian just smiled, reaching for the soap where he lathered himself up whilst Mickey grabbed the cheap shampoo, squeezing a heavy amount his hand before soaping up his hair with it in hopes to get the chlorine smell out.

They seemed to find some sort of order within this small shower, cleaning one another and just enjoying the warmth they shared.

As they washed away the soap suds, Mickey couldn’t help his curiosity seeing just how good of a mood Ian was in now.

“How are you feeling?” he wondered, looking at him through the water that beat down onto the pair of them

“Better” Ian told him honestly with a smile, “workin’ on it though. I’ve set alarms so I actually take the meds”

“Good” Mickey nodded, rinsing his body, “what time do you have to wake up?”

“I think 9? It’s going to suck since I don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight” he chuckled

Mickey just smiled at the soaked red-head, moving out of the way so he could rinse off. As Ian got under the water, Mickey couldn’t help but admire his ripped body and those perfect imperfections, his heart almost stopping as it always did recognizing his name upon Ian’s pelvis.

Ian was a work of art to Mickey; he could honestly watch him forever.  

That was when he probably should’ve realized something, but instead his mind trailed off into thinking about what happened tonight, now remembering an important thing he probably should’ve shared.

He only hesitated for a second as he tried to form the sentence, finding it hard to move away from the stunned state Ian’s body had him in.

“I broke up with André, by the way”

“What?” Ian looked at Mickey, “really?”

“Yeah” Mickey smiled softly at the man

“How did you get out of it without reliving the other night?”

As Ian asked this, he couldn’t help but gaze at the soft bruises on Mickey’s face, making Mickey wanting to shy away but he reminded himself that Ian accepts him for who he is, just like Mickey accepts Ian.

“The gun helped” he tried to shrug it off, “he kinda just gave up?”

Ian nodded slowly, finding that a bit hard to believe as he stepped away from the water, allowing Mickey to rinse completely.

“So where does that leave us, then?” he couldn’t help but wonder

Mickey almost felt his body turn to ice beneath the warm water, staring at Ian whose eyes seemed to beg for an answer. Swallowing his pride, Mickey moved from the water, hands moving into his wet hair as he pressed his wet lips upon Ian’s.

Ian sighed into it, hands moving to the small of Mickey’s back as their kiss was simple, soft and slow, Ian lightly sucking off the water from his bottom lip.

Moving his lips away, Mickey rested his head to Ian’s, still locked in their embrace.

“ _Free…_ ” Mickey whispered, "It leaves us _free..._ "

Mickey leaned back in and Ian melted into the lingering touch along his jawline, just moving along with Mickey in a perfect motion, loving how his tongue dominated his own as they swayed into the water, not even acknowledging it as they found themselves so caught up in each other’s sensations.

Maybe this would be the perfect time for Mickey to say those three words, but he was so unsure of himself he just couldn’t do it. He needed to show him instead, love him in the way they always did, wrapping his arms around Ian’s neck as the kiss got deeper, standing on his tip toes so they could devour one another.

Ian sighed, swinging him around to press him against the cold glass door of the shower, their crotches pressed hard together as their make out became heavy and tasteful, Ian moved his way to his collarbone before his tongue slowly made its way up Mickey’s neck, sucking only softly as he kissed passionately, allowing moans to escape from Mickey.

The dark-haired man ran his fingers into Ian’s hair, just closing his eyes and breathing in each sensation Ian brought him, nerves of pleasure charging through them both as they managed to grind, Ian’s lips still upon Mickey’s neck, probably leaving a small hickey for Mickey to find in the morning as a reminder of who he truly belonged to.

Mickey didn’t even care, he was free from André and he would always belong to Ian. Ian’s lips moved to Mickey’s shoulder for a moment before the water rapidly changed temperature, causing them to snap out of their lustful stance as they jolted.

“Fuck!” Ian shrieked, quickly turning the shower off, now awakened from the icy water.

Mickey just chuckled, breathing deeply as he looked at Ian so seemingly dazed.

“Guess we should move this to the bed, huh?” Mickey suggested with a grin

Ian didn’t care about the cold water anymore, giving Mickey the same suggestive grin in return before pulling him in.

“I like the sound of that” he breathed, their lips continuing their passionate embrace.

Ian fumbled for the door of the shower, sliding it open before guiding Mickey out. He glided his hands over Mickey’s ass cheeks and down the back of his thighs, picking him up.

Mickey instantly hopped up, arms around Ian’s neck and legs around his waist as their lips met again, Ian biting that soft, luscious and full bottom lip as he reached for a towel to lay on the bed, holding onto his back as they made their way toward the bedroom.

They bumped into multiple items and the doorframe, unable to fight their laughter through their kisses as Ian finally figured out the way and despite grabbing the towel, Ian completely forgot about it as he found himself so caught up in the heat of the moment, laying the wet man on the bed sheets before progressing the make out.

Twisting and twining, Mickey moved his hand to Ian’s hard cock, not even hesitating as he pulled at it, causing Ian’s breath to hitch and pull away, holding himself up above Mickey as he gave a look filled with pleasure.

“Like that?” Mickey wondered softly with a smirk, pumping Ian at an impeccable pace.

It was driving Ian wild and he bit his lip hard, nodding as he moaned, working himself into Mickey’s hand. He never imagined he could get this horny so fast, but Mickey just knew exactly how to work him.

“Do you?” Mickey asked again, more dominative than before

Ian’s gaze reached those eyes that were bluer than an ocean, feeling his soul nearly leave his body from the euphoria he always brought.

“Y-Yeah” he grinned, “I love it”

Mickey smirked with pride, glad he was pleasing his favorite person and continued to pump, massaging the head of his length with his thumb, just admiring Ian’s soft features as he moaned with each movement. He pulled him in by the neck so their lips could collide, the pair holding nothing back as it got more intense, Mickey moving further up onto the bed so Ian could climb on top.

They kissed for a bit longer before Ian pulled away, kissing down Mickey’s chest, draping his tongue over Mickey’s nipple, sucking only lightly before doing the same to the other. Ian continued to make his way down his soft, toned stomach, avoiding Mickey’s hard length as he kissed down his thigh, making his way onto the floor.

Ian reached for the bedside drawer, pulling it open as he moved away from Mickey’s sweet body.

“Best thing about this place” he began, reaching something, “Free lube!” He announced, pulling out the sachet.

Mickey leaned up on his elbows, laughing at the excitement on Ian’s adorable face.

Ian just continued, moving kisses up his thigh to his length, trailing his tongue slowly along the side of his shaft, causing Mickey’s head to roll back.

“Shit…” he exhaled, bucking his hips slightly

Ian grinned, devouring the taste as he took him into his mouth without hesitation, working up and down his shaft, sucking in his cheeks as he gained sounds of pleasure from Mickey.

He pulled away quickly, making Mickey pout as Ian reached for a pillow.

“Lift yourself up” Ian ordered and Mickey did exactly so, Ian laying the pillow beneath his lower back.

Mickey relaxed onto it and Ian pulled him in, his legs now draped over his shoulders as Ian latched himself back onto Mickey again, fingers digging into Mickey’s thick thighs as he worked his mouth on Mickey's dick.

He managed to multi-task, ripping open the sachet as he sucked Mickey deliciously. He squeezed some onto his fingertips and rubbed it over Mickey’s hole teasingly.

Mickey instantly shuddered as the sensitive nerves were stimulated, just feeling that slow pressure making its way inside as Ian’s hot mouth took him in all the way.

God, the pleasure was so good Mickey just wanted to cry from it, everything from the past 48 hours had overwhelmed him, and now even the sex was making him so high he wanted to just cry happy tears, even though this was far from over.

“God you’re so good Mickey” Ian gasped as he pulled away, still working his fingers into his lover.

Mickey just whimpered, grabbing onto the edge on the bed as he prayed to come closer.

“You sound so good I don’t know if I can fuckin’ wait” Ian chuckled

“T-Then get up here and fuck me” Mickey huffed into the air, causing Ian to slow to a stop

Ian pulled away, standing up to admire the pleasure he had created, Mickey’s length twitching as his chest heaved, pleading for more.

“How do you want me?”

Mickey sat up, giving a sly grin as he threw the pillow out of view.

“ _Exactly_ how I like you”

Unable to fight his smirk, Ian nodded.

“Get on all fours. Now”

Mickey didn’t hesitate, moving onto his hands and knees on the bed where he was quick to feel a spank from Ian, moaning loudly in response.

Ian marveled at the beauty that was his perfect ass before getting on the bed behind him, squeezing the rest of the lube onto his fingers and rubbing it onto his hole as he pressed slow, hot kisses among his back, pushing himself slowly inside of Mickey.

Mickey winced at the pressure, hands already gripping into the scratchy sheets as Ian continued to kiss along his skin, making his way in and out of Mickey carefully, gripping onto his hips.

There was something so beautiful about this dirty, intimate moment. As Mickey worked himself into Ian’s thrusts, he felt free. They both did. They were finally without fear, free to be completely and irrevocably _them_.

No fears of André catching them to kill the mood, they were ready to release their full potential.

Ian moved away from his back, his hand gliding into Mickey’s damp hair as he picked up the pace, pulling his head back as he circled his hips, unable to hold back his grunts as Mickey gave him his all, bouncing, circling and arching so perfectly.

Oh, he was perfect.

Ian pushed Mickey’s head down and Mickey allowed his chest to collapse onto the bed, back still perfectly arched as his moans and whimpers filled the air, just ingesting everything and how good it was.

They didn’t give two fucks if their dirty moans and words could be heard, they loved how good they were together.

Ian pulled Mickey onto him by the hips, getting harder and faster as he perfectly hit the right spot. Mickey cried out, one hand gripping the sheets hard as he sunk his teeth into the other, trying not to scream as that passion increased.

There was no way this could last too much longer, each movement and sound that escaped them both just brought them closer.

Ian reached for Mickey’s hair, pulling him back up by the hair.

“Come here” he murmured, moving his hand to hold onto Mickey’s chest so he could be pressed against him.

Mickey moved his hand around to Ian’s back and with his free hand and Ian grabbed it, linking their fingers as he pulled the hand to his lips, pressing a kiss before holding it onto his own chest, the two just working together in perfect rhythm.

“Fuck, Ian” Mickey grunted, unable to fight the way his body tensed around him,

Ian just continued to thrust harder and faster, now moving the hand from Mickey's chest to his length, pumping fast as he panted through the kisses he pressed along Mickey’s neck.

He could never get enough of this, and he wished it wasn’t 3am in a motel room where they were possibly heard by people trying to sleep so they could do this all night.

Mickey’s free hand made its way around to get a tight grip on Ian’s hair, peeling his lips away from his neck as his breathing got heavier, unable to help but bounce slightly against Ian’s thrusts.

“I-I’m c-close” Mickey managed to speak, his grunts and whimpers more prominent.

“Me too...” Ian inhaled, working his hand harder on Mickey as he tried to hold back his load.

Mickey clenched his eyes shut, leaning his head back as he let Ian work him to release.

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ ” he repeated, gasping as he got closer and he lost control, circling his hips in time as he let out a loud, final moan, whimpering as he came onto Ian’s hand.

Ian couldn’t hold back any longer, melting under the sounds and how Mickey made him felt, he pulled out, pushing Mickey onto his back as he quickly got on top, pumping his own length hard and fast, just wanting to release.

“That’s it, baby…” Mickey whispered, gripping onto Ian’s thighs, “Come for me”

Ian bit his lip hard, gazing at Mickey with so much need, love and lust as pants escaped his chest, letting himself go as his orgasm shined, releasing his load onto Mickey’s bare and perfectly chiseled chest.

“Holy f-fuck” Ian shuddered, his cheeks flushed pink as he came down from what always was the perfect high

“You did good” Mickey smirked, watching Ian as he reached for the tissues, quickly cleaning his hands before grabbing some more and passing it to Mickey

As Mickey cleaned himself off, Ian collapsed besides him, staring up at the roof, satisfied and finally somewhat happy, the last moments before he came replaying in his head repeatedly.

He couldn’t help but smile, looking over at Mickey who just tossed the tissue, releasing a heavy breath before noticing Ian’s soft gaze.

“What?” Mickey questioned, almost breathless

“You called me baby” Ian laughed slightly

“Really?” Mickey’s voice shrieked, stunned

“Uh huh” Ian nodded, a grin growing now.

“Must’ve been really into it…” Mickey laughed awkwardly

Now he was the one who was blushing

“It’s okay” Ian smiled, “I liked it”

Mickey just bit his lip, his eyes staring admiringly into Ian’s as if he were the only man in the world, as if he were the most perfect star among the sky.

He stared at him as if he loved him.

Ian hoped to hear those words but instead, Mickey leaned over, the two kissing so much softer than they had prior to their sex-session.

Ian trailed his hands into Mickey’s hair and Mickey scooted closer, continuing to kiss slowly with just a slight touch of tongue to remind them of just how real this was.

They just kissed for the sake of kissing, enjoying the aftermath and feeling their souls fill with the love they desired.

There was so much freedom and they basked in it. At least for now.

Mickey was still unsure and knew he had to think about it, but what he did know was that he loved Ian, and that if he were to leave with him, they’d have to have a plan to make it work.

If this was it for them...If this was where they finally just stopped fucking around and stayed together forever, then maybe Mickey was willing to risk it all.

Maybe.

Ian was the one to break the kiss, his eyes fluttering open to meet with Mickey’s with a loving smile.

“I think we’ll need another shower” he commented with a chuckle

Mickey huffed, “I honestly don’t know if I can be fucked after all _that_ ”

“True” he continued to laugh before sitting up and holding his hand out, “get up so we can get in bed properly”

Mickey smiled and grabbed his hand, using Ian’s strength to help him stand before Ian shook the sheets to lay it neatly across the bed whilst Mickey put the pillow back.

They got beneath the cold sheets, still capable of feeling the warmth from where they originally laid together and snuggled up.

Ian moved his pillow closer to Mickey’s, just admiring all that he was, his fingers carefully running across his cheek.

Mickey gave him a soft smile before leaning in for one more slow, loving kiss before pulling away.

“Goodnight, Ian” he exhaled

Ian nodded, reaching over to turn off the lamp, just relying on the warmth to guide him and as Mickey moved onto his side, Ian looped his arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s back before snuggling his head in.

“Goodnight, Mick” he finally replied

Instead of closing his eyes, Mickey's were wide open, staring at nothing but darkness as his hand grabbed onto Ian’s, linking their fingers as he tried not to stress out over a decision he promised he would think about later.

But how could he think about it later? There is no way he could sleep when he wasn’t sure if Ian would be here holding him like this by this time tomorrow.

Mickey hoped love would be enough.

He hoped that whatever decision he made, it’d be worth it.


	23. Chapter 23

The alarm rang abruptly; jolting Ian awake from his deep sleep. His eyes squinted as he tried to examine his surroundings of the bright room. He felt dazed, confused for a moment as to where he was before finally snapping at the annoying alarm clock that chimed obnoxiously, turning it off as he remembered something else.

_Mickey_

Ian’s eyes seemed to open effortlessly now as he looked where Mickey once laid, hand gripping into the cold sheet as he began to wonder if last night even happened. He had disappeared. Ian hoped he was just in the kitchen or something and hadn’t just stood him up like a good one night stand.

He sat up with a groan, allowing his naked body to embrace the air as he stood, one stiff leg after another walking to his duffle that sat on the desk.

Ian pulled out a fresh pair of boxers and pulled them on. He let out a heavy sigh as remnants of Mickey scattered the room, sparking memories of last night to come tumbling back. There was no way Mickey would just leave, right? Maybe he shouldn’t have been so optimistic—maybe Mickey had changed his mind.

He made his way back to the side table and reached for his pills in the drawer, popping out all the ones he needed before grabbing his phone and making his way out of the room.

Ian entered the dark and empty space that was his motel room to find Mickey really was gone.  

Trying not to feel disappointed, Ian just made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass, filling it with water so he could quickly down his medication, the water cured the thirst he didn’t even realize he had. He gulped down the entire glass of water before placing it into the sink, letting out a satisfied gasp before turning around, wiping his mouth.

That was where he noticed a loaf of store-brought bread on the island countertop that wasn’t there yesterday, a folded-up note resting against it, Mickey’s rough handwriting scrawled ‘ _Ian’_ across it with two underlines and Ian instantly feared for the worst.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he reached for it, his shaky fingers unraveling the note as his eyes instantly read the words.

_‘Ian,_

_Don’t be worried, okay? I swear I’m fine._

_I just need some time away from everything to think._

_I’ll be back later. I promise._

_Yours always,_

_Mick._

_(P.S. I went to the store this morning and got some food_

_so you don’t starve, maybe I’ll come over with a bottle of_

_something and we can go down to the beach to talk about it)’_

_Talk about it?_ Ian’s stomach flooded with nervousness. Would this mean tonight would be the last opportunity to convince Mickey to come home?

That was where it occurred to Ian that whilst he had an _Idea_ of what to do, there wasn’t a set plan. He had spent so much time on just getting Mickey to say yes and getting him over that border that he forgot to plan the rest of it. He needed to figure this shit out, and fast.

He put down the note and grabbed his phone, knowing well enough that if anyone could help him out with this, it’d be Lip.

Ian dialed his big brother, holding the phone to his ear as he waited anxiously. His opposite hand resting on the counter as he just read Mickey’s note over and over, determination to make this work out flowing through his veins.

Thankfully, Lip answered, relieving some of the tension in Ian’s chest.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” Ian greeted, “You busy?”

“Uh, I guess. Just dropping Liam off at school—Wanna say hi?”

“Yeah, sure”

Ian couldn’t help his smile as he listened to Lip pull the phone away from his ear to ask their baby brother if he wanted to say hello to him.

“Yes!” Liam’s voice chimed, making that smile on Ian’s face grow fonder

“Alright, here you go” Lip replied, handing the phone over.

“Hi Ian!” Liam greeted

“Hey little man! How’s it going?” Ian replied

“Good!” he spoke excitedly

“That’s great!” Ian replied in the same tone, “how’s school?”

“Good!” Liam repeated

“awesome” Ian laughed, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay. I gotta go school now, miss you!”

Ian just chuckled, “miss you too”

Liam handed the phone back and Ian could overhear the school kids and teachers in the background as Lip said goodbye to the youngest Gallagher sibling.

Ian just waited patiently, realizing just how much he missed home, his siblings and the smell of the shitty Chicago air. He missed it all, but that heartache of leaving Mickey behind was something far stronger and he never wanted to feel that again. This feeling alone is what begged him to stay, but he knew he’d have to leave eventually.

He couldn’t keep paying for this motel and his meds were slowly running out. Each pill he swallowed was like the hand of a clock counting down the seconds to his departure—but this didn’t have to mean it was over.

“Ian?”

Lip’s voice woke Ian from his daze, shaking his head as he reached for the loaf of bread.

“Yep!”

“So what’s up?” Lip wondered, “why’d you call?

“U-Uh” Ian bit his lip, “where are you headed now?”

“Mandy’s, why?”

Ian just nodded, making his way over to the fridge to see what Mickey had brought.

“Call me when you get there, alright?”

He opened the fridge and pulled out some things to make a sandwich with as Lip spoke.

“No, what’s up? We were really worried about you the other day”

“Well I’m fine” Ian assured, placing the items on the countertop, “I have a distraction”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

Ian let out a sigh, “This shit with Mickey is the only thing that’s keeping me going right now”

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a good thing” Lip scoffed, Ian just rolled his eyes

“Don’t worry, okay? I’m feeling better than I did yesterday” Ian assured, “I’m taking my meds”

Lip just hummed on the end of the line, Ian could hear a car door open and continued to speak.

“Anyway I need your help with something”

“What is it?” Lip questioned, getting into the car and slamming the door

“I need you to help me get Mickey out of this bullshit”

“With what, the law?” Lip huffed, “I thought you had a plan?”

“Yeah, kinda” Ian told him, “I just had an idea of having a retrial, but I’d no clue how to do this the right way”

Ian waited for a response to that as Lip seemed to sit on the subject, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he unraveled the loaf of bread to pull out two slices.

“Lip?”

“Hang on, I’m thinking” he sighed, “This might be tricky, I’ll need to do some research”

“So what, you think it’s possible?”

“I’m not 100% sure but yeah, it might be”

Somehow that relieved Ian in a way that filled him with joy, a soft laugh escaping.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, dude” Lip couldn’t help but laugh at how happy his brother sounded, “I’ll get working on it he second I get to Mandy’s”

“Holy shit!” Ian beamed, “have I ever told you that I love you?”

“Fuck off!” Lip barked, “save that shit for your boyfriend, alright?”

Ian just laughed, before something else occurred to him.

“Shit, how am I supposed to convince him to come back? What if you don’t have a plan in time?”

“We’ll work on it” Lip assured, “I’ll call later if I get it figured out, otherwise tell him that we’ll sneak him to Mandy’s and we’ll discuss it from there. I’ll see if I can get some old friends who studied law to give me their books”

“Okay, holy fuck. Thanks, man”

“Don’t worry about it, just want you _both_ home safe and sound where you belong”

Ian smiled softly, “me too”

Lip just huffed, the sound of an engine roaring to life.

“I gotta go, I’ll call back soon, alright?”

“Yep, sounds good”

They said their goodbyes before hanging up, Ian stared at the two slices of bread on the table as optimism tingled and swarmed his body.

This would be possible; they would undo all the damages they had caused to their relationship in the past few years. They could finally be happy.

Victory seemed to be so close now, but really, the road to victory was only just beginning.

* * *

 

Mickey rolled up to a secret hideaway that he had shared just one time with his favorite red head. It was somewhere far from the chaos of life, somewhere that was so still, quiet and distant. He loved to just come here and think—It was his favorite lookout point, where time would stop for a moment whilst the city continued to bustle in the distance.

He parked the car, staring out to the view for just a second before noticing himself in the overhead mirror, tilting his head to the side to reveal a decent hickey upon his neck that Ian had created last night. Typically, he’d be mad, but right now it reminded him of how real this was. He felt as if Ian was here with him in some way and couldn’t help but feel comforted by that.

Opening the car door, Mickey stepped out. He had nothing to distract him, no cigarettes, no phone, no Ian or André. It was just him, the sun, and the open air.

He slammed the door and made his way up the steps to the lookout, biting his lip as he embraced the sight of a beautiful Mexican city that met perfectly with the coastline.

Mickey wasn’t even sure where to begin his thoughts, leaning against the stone fence as the sun warmed his back. He just hoped Ian wasn’t too upset when he woke up and find him gone, but Mickey didn’t want to turn this into something bigger than it already was.

He just wanted to escape, think for a while, and then maybe just not think at all.

But he knew he’d have to make his decision today. He didn’t want to hold Ian back from the good life he lived back at home any longer, he wanted to either join him or let him go, allowing himself to be consumed by this life in Acapulco.

He was sure of which life he wanted, but wasn’t sure it would be the right choice in the long run.

First, André was out of the question, there was no doubt about that, but he’d have to find a new job away from these criminals and find a new apartment to rent.

Worst thing about that idea was being alone. Not that Mickey minded being alone, it was more the loneliness that came with it, and despite understanding and being able to speak some of the language, he wasn’t sure he could do it alone.

Then there was Chico, the adorable soft brown Labrador he and André had claimed as their son. Who would keep him? It hurt Mickey to think of leaving him with his ex, but there was no way he could afford a dog on his own with very little income.

Even if he ran away with Ian, he’d probably have to say goodbye to his favorite pup anyway.

This was only the first layer of thoughts he had shed away, working towards the deeper stuff in his brain.

Even though he had left André, he felt worried that it would come back to bite him—that he would have to go back to that narcissistic asshole just for the fact that he had no choice.

But he knew he had a choice, and whilst the safest choice was to stay in Mexico, it wasn’t the one he wanted.

So, where does the second option lead him? To Ian. To Chicago. To danger.

That’s when it occurred to him that he had lived his whole life in danger, and that he could possibly find the strength to face whatever danger was waiting for him back at home.

It had been more than a year since his break out, so the cops probably weren’t going to be looking for him around every corner like before, making it easier to sneak around, and although Mickey didn’t know what plan Ian had up his sleeve, he knew Ian had some sort of plan since he had mentioned it on multiple occasions and said that he could get him out of this mess and now, Mickey was prepared to finally know _how_.

Because all Mickey wanted was stability.

Mickey escaped prison and the unstable life he had always lived to come here, to Mexico, where he thought he could finally have some normalcy, but as it turned out, not even _this_ was normal.

So maybe he just needed to face the upcoming risk and whatever-the-fuck type of storm that would come before he could finally have a somewhat normal life.

A life where he had a real, good paying job and after a long day of work, he could come home to Ian, where they would just order pizza and drink beer, being that simple couple that enjoyed telling each other about their days and what troubled them, just loving every moment and growing old together.

He also wanted to make things right with Yevgeny and have a real relationship with his son.

Being alone can truly bring clarity to a situation, and Mickey had been away from home long enough to know his true wants and needs. 

So far, risking everything was giving him optimism, whilst the less-risky option just felt dark, lonely and heavy.

Mickey could hear footsteps approaching and fell out of his deep thoughts of hopes and fears, turning his head to see a young couple making their way up to the lookout, the girl was holding the boys' hand, excitedly running up to show him the sight with a happy laugh.

The young girl’s eyes met with Mickey, and despite the intimidating scars and bruises on his face, she smiled kindly.

“¡Hola!” she chimed, smiling brightly

Mickey’s eyes couldn’t help but notice how she held her boyfriend’s hand so freely.

“Hola” he returned with a nod before looking back to the view

Mickey tried to think more extensively into his choices, but couldn’t help but glance at the couple who stood on the other side of the lookout, playing around and smiling with so much joy before the young man wrapped his arms around his woman, and the woman clung onto her man, the two just swaying as they looked out to the view in front of them.

God, it made him miss Ian and how it feels to be loved by him.

The boy whispered sweet nothings into his girlfriend’s ear and Mickey witnessed just how happy they looked. He let out a deep exhale before looking down at his hands, just picking at his fingernails as he realized he might just have to risk everything for Ian one last time.

Mickey was so in love with Ian, and after all these years it still terrified him, but being without him scared him even more.

He looked back out to the view one last time, thinking a silent goodbye before walking away. He didn’t even dare to look back.

He wasn’t 100% certain he would say yes, but so far, he was willing to risk it all just to hold Ian in his arms for the rest of his life.

As cheesy as it was, that’s what love is; Fighting for each other and loving each other no matter what, and that’s what Mickey was prepared to do.

* * *

 

Ian’s day had been fairly wild despite not leaving the motel room. Most of the day was spent on the couch waiting for calls or for Mickey to walk through that door to let him know about the plan that was forming.

Then Lip had called back and said that there was a fool-proof plan that would work if they followed the rules, and Ian was more than prepared to follow through.

The First step of course was to get over the border and get to Mandy’s, but the rest was still to be discussed in detail since Lip said it’s better they discuss it the four of them in person, where no one can hear them.

He was beyond ecstatic to have this work and hoped that Mickey would say yes. This plan was the last thing they’d have to go through together before they were finally free to be with each other the way they were supposed to be.

All these years of bullshit wars; combating internalized emotions, homophobic fathers, disorders and the prison-sentences-turned-fugitive-status would come to an end.

Happiness felt so close, he could taste it.

 

Ian got dressed into clothes that were far more suitable to wear outside than his boxers and hoodie before brushing his teeth, hair and shaving away his stubble to make sure he looked nice for when Mickey showed up.

Going to the beach to talk isn’t _exactly_ a real date, but Ian wanted to look and feel nice for it, especially if he were to have his heart broken instead. His optimism seemed to fight most of those thoughts away, though.

He walked out the bathroom refreshed to hear his phone ringing in the next room. Ian instantly ran for it, his heart racing as he thought it could be Mickey or Lip, but instead it was someone Ian felt so guilty for forgetting.

“Hello?” Ian answered, taking deep breaths as he sat on the couch

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Daniel wondered

 _Daniel._ Now that was someone Ian would be sad to leave behind.

“Better now, sorry if I freaked you out or anything” Ian spoke, clear guilt in his voice

“Ah, it’s fine. As long as you’re okay.”

Ian just smiled, “thanks”

“So André told me what happened” Daniel began

“About what?”

“Mickey breaking up with him, taking off with you”

“Oh, right” Ian mumbled

“What’s wrong?” Daniel now asked, concerned

“Nothing” Ian sighed, running his hand through his hair, “Just, the way André acted towards it was weird. How do you go from punching someone one day to just letting them walk out the next?”

“I don’t know, heartbreak, I guess? He seemed a bit off to me too. You should probably be cautious around him just in case—hey, so does this mean you and Mickey are together now?”

His sudden change of subject stunned Ian, because he wasn’t sure how to tell him what was to come without letting him down.

“I-I don’t know, yet” he spoke with hesitation, “He took off this morning to _think_ ”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and I called my brother to talk about it and he’s planning how we’ll get Mick out of this mess”

“Well that’s great!”

“Yeah and Mickey left me a note saying we’ll talk about it later so I’m kind of nervous” he huffed

Daniel stayed quiet for a moment as if he were thinking about something before he spoke up.

“What’s going to happen if he says yes? What if he says no?”

Ian chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment as he found a way to tell him

“I’m not sure. Either way, I think I’ll be leaving by tomorrow—”

 “Tomorrow!?” Daniel’s voice rose, “That’s so soon”

“I know, Daniel, but I can’t be here much longer. My family is getting impatient and I’m starting to run out of meds”

Daniel muttered something Ian couldn’t comprehend before speaking again.

“Will I ever see you again?” he asked

“I-I hope so” Ian smiled sadly, “if Mickey says no I’ll probably come back—”

“He won’t say no” Daniel replied bluntly

“What makes you say that?” Ian wondered, brows furrowed

“Because he loves you, idiot”

Silence fell between them now, Ian unable to find the courage to ask if Mickey told him that or if he was just saying that to ease Ian’s doubts.

“Look, if we don’t see each other again that’s fine, dude. Just—” Daniel let out a sigh, “keep in touch, okay?”

Ian nodded, “Okay”

“Let me know how it goes with Mickey, alright?”

A knock came from the doorway, instantly lifting Ian’s eyes off the floor and causing him to stand up.

“I will. I think he’s here now” his voice crept out from his smile, now making his way towards the door.

“Shit, Good luck!”

Ian laughed, “thanks”

They said their goodbyes as the knocking came about once more. Ian hung up, sliding the phone into his pocket as he approached the door.

When he opened it, he was in shock despite knowing it would probably be Mickey. His heart just pounded at the sight of him, his pupils large from the attraction as Mickey stood there with a smirk on his face and a bottle of tequila in his hand.

“So what’s your plan to get me out of this fuckin’ mess?”

Ian couldn’t help but grin, so happy to see Mickey after what felt like forever. Mickey couldn’t help but smile back at how beautiful Ian’s happiness was to witness.

“What’s with you?” Mickey wondered with a chuckle

Instead of answering, Ian just held Mickey’s face delicately, pressing his lips upon Mickey’s.

Mickey’s mouth instantly opened, allowing the kiss to embrace him as his free hand made its way to Ian’s back, fingers clenching into his shirt only the slightest as they continued to kiss soft and slow.

Ian carefully pulled away with a soft smile, leaving Mickey breathless as he tried to catch up with what was going on.

“I missed ya” Ian told him playfully with a smile

“Well come on then” Mickey exhaled a laugh, “Grab a blanket, too”

Ian raised a brow, giving the shorter man a look

“Just do it, asshole” He smirked, pushing playfully, “I’ll be in the car”

 

They drove down to a nearby beach that they hadn’t been to before and found a comfy spot that was secluded from everyone else, just spreading out their blanket and sitting down. Mickey was already opening the bottle of tequila and taking a swig, enjoying the way it warmed his throat.

Ian leaned back on his hand as he sprawled himself on the blanket, grabbing the bottle from Mickey’s grip to take a swig for himself.

Mickey let out a breath and just looked out to the waves for a moment, loving how relaxed they were as they slowly made their way onto the shoreline before sinking away again.

“This is some good stuff” Ian commented, passing the bottle back

Mickey snapped out the daze to grab the bottle.

“Oh yeah I know” he laughed, placing the cap back onto the bottle before changing the subject, “so, you going to tell me how this’ll work or not, Gallagher?”

Ian bit his lip, looking at Mickey briefly before sitting up properly so he could prepare himself to explain. He inhaled deeply, not wanting to give any eye contact.

“I called Lip today and he said there _is_ a way we can get you to retrial and get out hopefully with little or no prison time, but we’d need to sneak you into Mandy’s and hide you there” he explained, looking at Mickey who just chewed on his lip, thinking deeply.

“We’d need to discuss it in detail when we get there to make sure we don’t get caught” Ian continued, eyes sinking back to the sand

Mickey stayed quiet, doubt rolling into Ian’s mind now.

“I-I love you, Mickey, and even if you don’t want to come back with me, I get it. I know what it’s like to be scared of risks, but that won’t stop me from fighting for your justice”

Ian looked at Mickey who’s features had now softened from his confession. Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s, causing their eyes to meet.

“I-I’m thinking of leaving tomorrow, and if you don’t come, that’s fine. I’ll be back”

Mickey’s eyes started to sting at the need and anguish within Ian’s eyes.

He was almost 100% certain now of the path he’d take, and although he wasn’t exactly prepared to take such sudden risks, he’d rather take the risk then stay here for even one second without Ian.

“I-It’s a good idea” Mickey managed to croak, looking down, disappointed with himself because he couldn’t find any other words to say.

Ian sighed, breaking his eyes away as he expected the worst—he moved his hand from Mickey’s now and sat, huddling his knees to his chest.

Mickey admired how flawless Ian looked in the sunlight, feeling his own soul leave his body for a moment as he made his own confession.  

“You know I love you too, right?”

Those green eyes met with Mickey’s, a look of disbelief on Ian’s face before it settled into a soft smile. He had a million emotions running through him, and Mickey could just see his thoughts fade back into doubts once again.

_Because what if love just wasn’t enough?_

“Then what’s it going to be?” Ian wondered cautiously

Mickey gave a look of empathy before putting the bottle of tequila down and pulling Ian’s hands away from his knees so his legs could sink down. Mickey moved to straddle himself on top of Ian, his hands cupping Ian’s jaw whilst Ian held onto Mickey’s waist, just holding his breath as he waited for an answer.

“You” Mickey answer merely came out a whisper, “It’s always been you, Ian”

Tears of overwhelmed joy filled Ian’s eyes before Mickey leaned in, the pairs lips meeting like the sea on the shore as they twisted and twined, just taking this bittersweet moment to hold, breathe and kiss one another.

The sounds of birds in the sky and the ocean waves that captivated their space were nothing but echoes now, the two just so irrevocably involved within one another, their kiss continued, deep and tasteful, neither wanting to pull away but Ian just couldn’t believe this—he finally had Mickey back.

“Are you sure?” Ian whispered against Mickey’s lips, not daring to open his eyes

Mickey laughed softly, “yes, asshole”

Their lips met once more, harder and passionate as butterflies soared through the both of them. Mickey pulled away now, just sitting on Ian’s lap and grabbing his hands, entwining their fingers.

Ian smiled, watching how delicate Mickey looked staring at their hands.

“ _I love you…_ ” Ian told him now, unafraid.

Mickey’s eyes raised from the hands he held to meet with his soft stare.

“ _I love you too…_ ”

They shared a happy and victorious smile before Ian felt inclined to ask a question.

“Does this make us an official couple now?” Ian wondered with a laugh

Mickey laughed along, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Ian’s left hand.

“Of course it does” he mumbled against his hand before reaching for the tequila.

Mickey unscrewed the cap and Ian just watched his boyfriend swig back another delicious gulp of the alcohol before passing it to Ian.

Ian took a swig as Mickey got off his lap, now sinking down to rest his head on his lap as he looked ahead at the waves.

A smirk crept onto Ian’s lips as he swallowed down the spirit, noticing the love-bite upon Mickey's neck. He trailed his fingers over it, filled with pride.

“I did a good job”

Mickey just laughed, looking up at him.

“Oh yeah, fuck you for that one”

Ian nearly snorted, running his hand through Mickey’s soft, tousled black hair, “maybe later”

“Fuckin’ dick” Mickey continued to laugh, looking back to the sea.

Their laughter faded and just laid there, Ian continuing to stroke Mickey’s hair as Mickey basked in the affection. The two of them were now at peace and excited for the next chapter of their journey. Most importantly, they were now loving each other without fear.

Neither of them had doubts clouding their mind in this moment they shared, more focused on their happiness and the fact that they were finally _together_.

This was it; the first step to their _Happily Ever After_.


	24. Chapter 24

Freckled fingers danced along Mickey’s waistline, blue eyes sparkling into Ian’s gaze. Soft lulls and whispers were all to be heard as they just stayed in bed for most of the day. They were so comfortable, so in love and at peace, enjoying the calm before the impending storm—ready to defeat the battles that were on their way.

Despite Mickey’s status as a criminal and Ian’s incapability of living his original hopes and dreams, these men were soldiers. They were strong, courageous and intelligent in their own miraculous way and now, they were ready to be deployed into what they hoped would be the last war they’d have to face together as both lovers and fighters.

But for this current moment, they stayed relaxed, relishing in each other’s warmth as they just talked about meaningless things and sometimes, didn’t talk at all. That’s what they loved the most; just admiring one another as traced each other’s skin, trying to memorize each freckle, scar and perfect imperfections.

It was silent, peaceful and completely _them_.

“Do you know what’s fuckin’ crazy?” Mickey spoke softly

“What?” Ian wondered, continuing to trace his body

“Being with you just reminds me of home—but not my place, yours”

Ian smiled softly, “oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and not even just while we were together but all the times I came around”

“Like when you came over with your dad to speak to Frank?” Ian laughed at the memory

“Yeah!” Mickey laughed, “Then my dad ditched me at your place, but we were kids so you and Lip just hung out with me for a while”

“Isn’t that the day we told Fiona we would play catch but ended up sneaking into her room and going through her shit?”

“Oh fuck, it was too” Mickey chuckled, “then we found her tampons and freaked the fuck out—shit, it’s all coming back to me know. Did she ever find out?”

“Nope” Ian grinned mischievously, “I actually completely forgot until you mentioned it”

Mickey just smiled, “Well, what I was trying to say it that there’s so much history between us, we were kind of friends as kids, drifted away completely once middle school came around and in the end, we became this”

Ian smiled fondly at the fact

“You’re kind of fucking nostalgic to me, Gallagher" Mickey admitted, "Your house was always so much safer and warmer compared to mine, and you _too_ are safe and warm”

“I understand” Ian smiled, “We grew up together, I’m not even sure how I could live without you in my life somehow”

Mickey just nodded approvingly, not wanting to dive too deep into that topic as he moved on to something else.

“So, have you actually thought about how we’re getting over the border?”

Ian rolled onto his back, thinking intently as he put his hands behind his head.

“Not really, I was more concerned with the whole ‘ _getting Mickey to say yes_ ’ thing” he admitted

Mickey rolled his eyes with a smirk before resting his arm on Ian’s chest, playing with the ginger fuzz on his chest.

“Well, you’re an idiot”

Ian wrapped an arm around Mickey, subconsciously drawing circles on his shoulder.

“I just thought we’d do what you did to get in, to get out, or is that not possible?”

“No, I had the same idea” Mickey agreed, “I mean getting ready to leave, will we steal a car and all that shit?”

“Oh, right. Well did you have anything in mind?”

“I was thinking we break into André’s, take our shit and leave honestly”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we’ll go in like an hour or so when he’s usually out of the house”

“Okay” Ian exhaled, trying not to be nervous, “well did you want lunch soon then?”

Mickey hummed, “maybe, but first, I want a snack”

Ian looked at Mickey with a grin and instantly embraced the way Mickey moved to press their lips together, passionate and slow as he made his way on top of Ian. Their tongues tasted and twined with ease, Ian’s hands gripping into Mickey’s jaw just begging for more.

Mickey smirked against his lips, loving how this made his nerve-endings spark with electricity. The situation escalated quickly, both wanting to captivate each other completely. Their tongues collided and rolled over each other as they pulled each other in deeper, Mickey’s bare ass rocking against Ian to drive his senses wild, and it worked. Ian was moaning, hands reaching for all his favorite spots on Mickey’s body, the pads of his thumbs teasingly rolling over Mickey’s nipples, allowing a pleasurable sigh to escape before trailing to his soft and round ass.

With a smirk, Mickey pulled away, Ian lightly bit his bottom lip just so he could pull him back in but Mickey didn’t allow it, leaving Ian’s lips lonely so he could trail kisses down his perfectly pale and chiseled body, the sheets sinking with him as he got lower and lower.

Both their naked bodies were now visible to the world and Ian could admire his lover, his hands unable to help but lock into his beautifully soft dark hair as Mickey grabbed a hold of Ian’s half-hard cock, just massaging teasingly slow as he raised those piercing blue eyes to meet with his boyfriend.

As shockwaves ran down his spine, Ian bit his lip hard, nodding beggingly as he waited for those perfect, full lips to take him in.

Mickey could almost feel his mouth water at the thought, pressing a light kiss to the head.

“C’mon, Mick” Ian pleaded softly, just wanting this moment to consume him

Mickey just moaned as if to say he’ll just make it harder for the Gallagher, now putting tongue into the kisses he trailed along the head, slowly closing his eyes as he switched from kisses to nothing but his hot tongue. He ran it up the entire underside before taking him in, devouring the taste immediately as Ian’s hips bucked, pleasure now ruling his body.                                                                                                                                                                                                             

He worked his mouth slow, sucking hard as his fingers trailed from Ian's thighs to his stomach, Ian’s body shivering at the touch whilst Mickey felt his body rise and fall to each movement he made, just breathing in the love Mickey provided.

Mickey picked up the pace slightly, pulsating his tongue as he worked, basking in the sounds of Ian’s heavy breath. The taste of Ian on his tongue was so good it had him fighting the temptation to reach his own length.

Oh, Ian was so good, and if Mickey's mouth wasn’t so busy, he’d probably tell him. He could just feel how hard Ian was now, pulling away with a gasp so his hand could pump him fast. He looked up at how Ian’s head leaned back, hands gripping so hard into the pillow you could see his muscles clenching.

He took a moment to take it all in, the sounds, the way he smelt and just how gorgeous he looked when he was in total bliss.

“Shit, you’re sexy” Mickey slipped with a chuckle

Ian’s eyes now locked down onto his, the couple now capable of feeling the love radiating between them on a whole other level. Mickey smirked, slowing the motion of his hand down so he could witness the pleading look in his lovers’ eyes. He nodded, understanding as he embraced Ian into his mouth again, keeping his eyes locked on him as he worked him now with both his hand and mouth.

Ian instantly hitched, his hand reaching into Mickey’s hair as he shook his head. He was so close.

“no, no, no!” Ian whimpered, he didn’t want this to be over so soon.

Mickey slowed down and pulled away, wiping his lips with the back of his hand as he looked up at Ian.

“What?” he breathed, voice sultry and soft.

Ian swallowed the air begging to reach his chest as he sat up, directing him to come closer.

“I want you…”

Mickey grinned, making his way up immediately for their lips to crash together, Ian’s hands cupping his face as they picked up where they left off, loving the intense passion they could only find for one another. Mickey straddled himself onto Ian, fingers lacing into Ian’s hair as he felt Ian’s length twitch beneath him.

Ian’s hands made their way down Mickey’s soft back as they motioned, gliding perfectly under his ass to his thighs where he began to move onto his knees, flipping Mickey onto his back.

With a grunt, a happy laugh escaped Mickey as he smiled lovingly up at Ian who towered over him, pressing a kiss to Mickey's head before pressing another to his perfect nose.

Mickey instantly moved his head so their lips could collide again, slow and tasteful before Ian pulled away, their eyes meeting again with a lustful stare before the redhead made his way down Mickey’s chest, pressing quick kisses along the way.

The raven-haired man rested his head back, biting his lip as he felt that hot mouth embrace him instantly. Ian took his thickness in all the way, pleasing and working Mickey before the final act.

He moved up and down, massaging the head with his tongue as he sucked and moaned around him, those vibrations sending shooting stars through his boyfriends’ veins as he clenched his fists into the bedsheets. Ian couldn’t help but reach for those hands, their fingers intertwined as the pleasure built and built.

Ian’s mouth watered at how delicious this was, just allowing Mickey to thrust his hips as he muffled profanities under his breath. They could’ve gone straight to fucking, but Ian was so sure he would’ve came in three seconds if he didn’t take the time to give Mickey a treat, too.

He picked up the pace, the sounds getting louder as Mickey also seemed to reach the edge Ian was at only moments ago

“F-Fuck me” Mickey muttered in the heat of it all, Ian pulled away with a grin, licking his lips.

“Really?” He questioned with a deep breath

“Y-Yeah, get the fuck up here”

Ian’s face lit up like the sunshine he was as he gravitated back up Mickey’s body so their mouths could get back into their messy make out session. Mickey’s hands held Ian’s face to keep him there so he could calm down a tad, just focussing on how soft and incredible Ian felt this close to him. He just couldn’t help but taste him, wanting him here forever as if this pleasure would never disappear.

Then, Ian broke away but Mickey instantly latched his lips to Ian’s soft neck as moans rang through Mickey’s ear like a beautiful song.

“S-Shit, no lube” Ian huffed, “we’ll have to do this old-style”

“That’s fine” Mickey mumbled through his kisses.

Ian pulled away quickly and spat into his hand, lubricating Mickey and himself before positioning himself. Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian’s waist as Ian held onto the edge of the mattress above Mickey’s head. He pushed his way inside slowly and Mickey instantly winced, relaxing onto Ian’s length as he filled him up. His hand gripping into Ian’s biceps as he shut his eyes, sighing into each thrust.

It felt so good to be loved by Ian, and that love was all to be felt within this room. No fears or doubts hiding them from sharing their potential as they rocked into one another, loving how it felt to be this close and in love.

Ian’s thrusts got deeper in pace as they completely eased into it now. Ian pulled one of Mickey’s legs to drape over his shoulder, pulling Mickey in as he looped his hands under Mickey’s arms so he could get a hold his shoulders to increase their intimacy.

Their lips met briefly before pulling away so they could watch the way the pleasure shifted their facial expressions. Ian’s hips began to circle, his thrusts getting faster as their panting and moans seemed to peak.

“That’s it” Mickey gasped, “pound my ass”

Loving the dirty talk, it fuelled Ian, making him work up a sweat as he obeyed, pounding good and hard as Mickey lost control in the moment. Ian had locked the power-bottom into a perfect embrace, his moans loud and profound as he just rolled into each perfect movement.

Mickey covered his mouth as his whines seemed to become needy and loud but Ian instantly pulled the hand away, pressing a kiss to the crook of his neck, his tongue tasting the sweat among his stubble as he basked in the sounds of Mickey’s sweet voice.

Mickey had no idea he could bend so well, amazed by how they tangled within one another’s bodies, this craving being more than satisfied now—they were overindulging.

Mickey’s sweaty palms gripped into Ian’s damp hair as he felt himself get closer, loving the way the bed rocked and squeaked with each thrust. Butterflies flooded his stomach, a smile on his face as he felt unafraid and truly free.

“I love you” he panted, holding Ian close, “I-I love you so much”

Ian pressed a kiss into his collarbone, feeling his eyes well up from how overwhelmed he felt.

“I-I love you” he whispered, before moving his lips to Mickey’s ear, “And I love how fucking beautiful you sound”

Mickey moaned loudly in response, knowing this couldn't last much longer

“Ian” Mickey breathed now, “I’m nearly there”

“M-Me too” Ian warned, but Mickey didn’t seem to care.

“Fucking kiss me”

Ian moved his head, their tongues touching before their lips could even collide, the thrusting slowing down as they tried to extend their time together. They never wanted to leave this bed, or each other.

Ian pulled his lips away to admire the beauty within Mickey’s eyes.

“T-This is it, right?” he wondered in the heat of the moment, as if he still couldn’t believe this was real.

Mickey nodded, holding his face in his hands.

“You’re it—You’re it for me” he breathed

They shared a smile of pure love and joy before embracing in one last kiss, Ian deciding to be done with the talking so they could get on with it.

He started to pound again, Mickey throwing his head back with a yelp as his hands reached from under Ian’s arms to scratch into his shoulder blades.

They had never made love this intense before, even the first time they were together they were too shy to say _I love you_. But now, they were more than committed and were no longer afraid. Whatever they were to go through now would be more than worth it.

Ian pushed his head into Mickey’s chest as Mickey now bit into Ian’s shoulder to hold back his screams. Ian’s thrusts were fast and hard as he went into overdrive. Mickey was sure they would fall off the bed from how hard they were going at it.

Without even touching himself, Mickey was peaking, clenching and biting harder as he panted, Ian only seconds behind as his orgasmic whispers filled whatever space was left between them.

And that was it, they came together, raw and loud as if they were the only people in the world. They loved the way it rushed through their veins and radiated onto one another, just relishing in the afterglow as they came down from amazing sex.

Mickey pressed a kiss where he had bitten a bit _too_ hard before pulling Ian’s face so their lips could lock in a loving embrace. Ian untangled their bodies as they kissed, pulling out to gain a gasp from Mickey as the leg that once hung over his shoulder now fell limp.

Ian grabbed a hold of Mickey from behind his head, continuing the kiss for only a couple more seconds before pulling away, pressing yet another kiss to his forehead before Mickey pressed one to Ian’s chin.

“Still hungry?” Ian wondered with a laugh as he looked down at his love.

“Yeah” Mickey smiled softly, “but if we could just lie here for a minute would be nice”

Agreeing completely, Ian pressed a light kiss to Mickey’s chest before allowing himself to collapse, just resting his head upon Mickey’s heartbeat as Mickey's fingers softly stroked that beautifully bright hair.

They were at peace, and they weren’t sure if this was some sort of honeymoon period or something completely different—like happiness. Although it probably wouldn’t last long considering what was to come, they enjoyed it for now.

 

After finally making the effort to get out of bed and get ready for what they would have to face, Ian prepared a lunch made of whatever was left in the fridge including fresh strawberries and bologna and cheese sandwiches. Anything else they had was just snack foods that would be helpful for the long road trip home.

Mickey ate his sandwich in peace as he leant onto the island counter, flipping through a magazine that had been lying around for lord knows how long.

“All I understand from this is ‘ _Ben Affleck_ ’” he muttered, causing Ian to laugh

“I doubt that, you should know more by now”

“Okay, sure but I can’t finish the sentence” he admitted

Ian just smirked, his arm on Mickey’s shoulder as he reached for one of the strawberries, holding it in front of Mickey’s face.

Mickey looked at the strawberry, then at Ian as if he had no clue what he wanted.

“What?”

“Take a bite, dickhead”

“Fuck, alright” he grinned, the couple sharing a light laugh as he bit into the strawberry Ian had fed him. Despite the sweet flavor, it still wasn’t as sweet as the magic they created in the bedroom earlier today.

Ian placed the stem onto his plate, going to reach for a strawberry before Mickey interrupted.

“Hey, my turn now!” he told him off, swallowing down his strawberry

Ian let out a laugh, letting Mickey reach for one. He parted his mouth, watching Mickey as he carefully placed it between his lips. Ian took a bite, unable to fight his grin as Mickey bit his lip with a hum.

“I get it now” he said, placing the stem onto Ian’s plate.

“Get what?” Ian wondered, mouth full.

“The whole gooey _romance_ shit, I guess” he huffed, Ian smirked, moving from Mickey’s shoulder to lean on the counter.

“we never really got to be _that_ couple back then”

“Yeah” he sighed, “I don’t want to be the couple we were again”

Ian furrowed his brows, “What do you mean?”

“Just the whole, fighting, keeping shit bottled up and—” he paused before adding, “taking each other for granted”

Ian smiled empathetically, placing his hand upon Mickey’s cheek.

“We won’t be, alright? We’ve come a long way, Mick”

Mickey nodded, a smile of relief showing as he remembered just how far they had come and the battles they had won.

“Only a little bit more to go, then we’re set” Ian assured before moving his hand to take a bite into his sandwich.

Mickey was sure he was still coming down from the aura they had created in the bedroom, but he loved how unafraid he had become. If he was still the man he was before prison, he would’ve been callous, smacking away the strawberry Ian so badly wanted to feed him.

He had developed phenomenally, and he never wanted to be that hateful person he used to be ever again.

“So” Ian swallowed as he changed the subject, “you sure _he_ won’t be home?”

“Yeah” Mickey nodded, glancing at the time, “we better go real soon though, who knows what kind of bitch-ass mood he’d be in if he was there”

“He was acting pretty weird the other day” Ian pointed out

Mickey huffed, “yeah, pretty sure he just couldn’t believe it—But I don’t know, I’m trying not to worry about what he could have planned”

Ian finished his sandwich and shook his head, “I don’t understand why you didn’t just shoot him in the head”

“Excuse me?” He scoffed, “weren’t you the one who didn’t want me going over there?”

Ian rolled his eyes, “I was kidding”

Mickey just ignored him, finishing off his own sandwich.

“Should we find a new car to take?” Ian wondered

“Why the fuck would we do that?” Mickey furrowed his brows, “he never uses the car we drive, I’m sure he won’t miss it”

Ian lifted his hand so he could rest his chin upon his palm, watching Mickey as he found himself in deep thought, trying not to freak out _too_ much at how risky this could be.

“What if he snitches or tells the cops we stole the car?”

“He’s a drug-lord’s hitman who lived with a fugitive, he’s more at risk of going to prison than I am at this rate”

Ian shrugged, feeling relief overtake him as he stood up straight, “yeah, you’re right”

“Fuck yes, I am” Mickey smiled smugly, rubbing his hands on his pants before taking their plates to the sink, “we better get our shit packed so we can leave ASAP”

“On it!” Ian affirmed, making his way to the bedroom.

 

The drive to André’s wasn’t that worrying to either of them, they were just so confident that this would be simple and that everything would work out—as if for as long as they fought together, they would stay together and would be okay.

When they pulled into the driveway, there was something so off-putting about how the perfectly white house that appeared so angelic held something so demonic inside. It caused the two men to grow silent as they swallowed any anxieties that tried to bubble back to the surface.

As they got out of the car Mickey couldn’t help but feel all the memories he had created here race into his mind. This house was the first place he came to after arriving in Acapulco. Back then, André seemed promising and almost overtook whatever he felt for Ian.

Oh, how wrong he was. If only he knew his favorite redhead would come looking for him to rescue him from this twisted nightmare.

“Okay, no time for fucking around” Mickey told Ian sternly as he approached the front door

“Really? Because I was planning on eating your ass on his bed ‘til you screamed so loud you forgot his name” Ian responded sarcastically

Mickey stared at him, wild-eyed and speechless, his brows raised high as he couldn’t believe those words came from his mouth.

“I was kidding” Ian chuckled awkwardly, “now open the door”

“Okay—but the second we have a bed to sleep in you better follow through with that plan” Mickey seemed to order

Ian just smirked, watching Mickey fumble for the correct key to open the front door.

“What if he changed the locks?” Ian suddenly worried, clearly overthinking.

“It’s been two days and he’s dumber than a fuckin’ rock” Mickey scoffed, sliding the key perfectly into the hole and twisting it around, “See? Same locks”

Ian just nodded, keeping look-out as Mickey opened the door, pushing his way inside to be greeted by Chico who couldn’t contain himself, jumping all over Mickey and Ian as the door closed behind them.

“Hey boy! You miss us?” Ian laughed, scratching at his head before he made his way to jump on Mickey.

Ian continued to keep his eyes and ears alert for any sign of André. Even though it was more than clear that he wasn’t home, Ian couldn’t help but be cautious

“Oh I know, I missed you too!” Mickey chuckled, continuing to pat his back, “come on, let’s go upstairs”

 

Ian sat on André’s bed, Chico laying by his side with his head in his lap so Ian could gently stroke and massage his soft furry head. Mickey just got straight to the point, searching through the walk-in-robe for what was his.

He came out with a bundle of clothes and an expensive Gucci suitcase, placing them on the bed with a sigh.

“I’m scared to find out how much shit I’ve hoarded in such a short time” he confessed with a laugh

Ian smiled at him, “Did you want me to help sort it?”

“Nah, I’ll probably leave a heap of stuff behind”

“Is that suitcase even yours?” Ian felt the need to question

“Nope” Mickey replied casually, making his way back into the wardrobe.

Ian just huffed, looking down at Chico as he played with his soft floppy ears, unable to help but admire how much he truly cherished this puppy dog.

“Shit, okay!” Mickey called out, “Might need your help!”

Ian rolled his eyes with a laugh, knowing well that Mickey would ask for his help. He carefully got up from the bed so he wouldn’t disturb the Labrador as he made his way over. He almost couldn’t believe his eyes at the sight of how many clothes and shoes André had. Half of them were probably only worn once on a special occasion, or maybe not at all.

Worst thing was the smell, it seemed to be worse in here than in the actual bedroom. André’s cologne was almost as ignorant as him and Ian couldn’t wait to get out of here.

“Can you reach that box?” Mickey asked, pointing to an open box on the top shelf of the wardrobe that was just out of reach.

“Yeah, of course” Ian nodded, making his way over to reach for it, having to get onto his tip-toes to get a good grasp on the box.

“We have to remember to buy smokes once we’re on the road, this shit’s makin’ me crave” Mickey commented

“Yeah, same” Ian huffed, pulling the box down carefully, “what should I do with it?”

“Just put it on the bed” he ordered before going back to looking through some drawers.

Ian just nodded and did exactly as Mickey asked, making his way out of the room to place it down, only to notice the objects inside. He bit his lip as curiosity overcame him, making sure Mickey wasn’t going to come into the room as he went through the box.

It seemed to be things Mickey had before he came to Mexico. The outfit he used and the wig were crumpled up carelessly. There was also an old beer bottle that was likely from the last night they had spent together, laying together beneath the stars as they brought past emotions to the surface.

As Ian moved that out of the way, he found two envelopes. A yellow one and a white one. He reached for the white one first, reading the words ‘ _mi amor’_ written in obnoxious cursive writing.

Ian almost didn’t want to open it, but he just couldn’t resist, pulling out the letter from the already open envelope. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he read with hopes it wouldn’t spark something in his brain.

‘ _Mickey,_

_It’s only been 6 months since we met, but somehow I know that you’re the one for me.’_

Already, Ian was gagging on his own tongue, but continued.

_‘Pienso en ti siempre, and if the next 6 months is anything like we’ve already experienced then I know we’ll be okay’_

Ian had to stop himself there, biting back his bitter laughter as his hands refrained from crunching up the fragile piece of paper in his hands.

He took one deep breath, skipping over some dumb poetry that wasn’t even in English before reaching the end.

_‘Te amo, baby._

_Con cariño,_

_André’_

A scoff leaped out of Ian now, did he actually manage to win Mickey over with this kind of stuff? Ian never imagined Mickey would be the type to like this kind of romantic gesture.

Heck, he had just given in to the idea of Ian feeding him a strawberry.

Ian quickly threw the letter back into the box as Mickey made his way into the room with another bundle of items, some that weren’t even his as he plonked them onto the bed. Ian kept his hands in his back pockets suspiciously, not being able to play it cool whatsoever as his curiosity continued to feed his jealousy.

Even though It’s clear Mickey doesn’t love André, Ian couldn’t help but be jealous of all the firsts he might’ve experienced with André they should’ve been shared with Ian.

“I think that’s everything” Mickey spoke as he started sorting the items before looking up at Ian who stood there, something clearly bothering him, “You alright?”

Ian bit his lip as he removed his hands from his pockets, wondering if how André used to be was what Mickey would be interested in now?

“C’mere” Ian waved him over

Mickey shifted his eyes, placing down the shirt he was folding as he made his way over to his boyfriend.

“What?”

With a soft smile, he pulled Mickey in by the hands so they could be even closer, Mickey’s mouth perfectly parted for Ian to embrace.

The kiss was soft yet tender, Ian tasting Mickey just lightly as his hands now trailed to his hair. The tingle from his touch caused Mickey to exhale, gliding his own hands down from Ian’s neck to his chest, just holding it where he could feel the way Ian’s heart jumped at the sensation.

Mickey smiled against his lips now, deepening the kiss even though he knew they couldn’t waste time. Ian accepted it for a moment, just breathing it all in before he gently pulled away, fingers gliding along Mickey’s jawline.

They both opened their eyes at the same time, bringing them back to life as Ian hesitated, a soft smirk spreading over his face as he realized how stupid he was about to sound.

“Te amo, baby” he whispered

Mickey gave a look of confusion before his eyes noticed the letter André had once written sitting on top of the box of stuff he had collected since breaking out of prison. Unable to hold it back any longer, Ian pulled away from Mickey as he let laughter overtake him.

“Fuck you!” Mickey exclaimed as he began to laugh as well, “You going through my shit now?”

“I-I couldn’t help myself” he admitted through the laughter, Mickey shoved him playfully

“You’re a fucking dick!” He laughed, reaching for the letter, “I actually forgot this existed”

Ian calmed down slightly, taking deep breaths as he watched Mickey grab it and crunch it up in his hands as if it meant nothing.

“What are you doing with it?”

“Nothin’” he shrugged with a chuckle, walking into the bathroom

Ian didn’t even move, just listening to the way the toilet choked trying to flush the letter down the drain.

“I’m not really sure you’re meant to put paper in the toilet” Ian pointed out as Mickey returned

“Oh well, not my problem” he shrugged casually, reaching for the box,

Ian just huffed with a smile, realizing that Mickey did prefer his love over André’s after all. He sat back on the bed with Chico as he watched Mickey go through the box.

“What else is in here?” Mickey wondered

“Not much” Ian replied

Mickey just hummed, “well we’ll need this shit anyway—” he paused, reaching for something in the box.

He pulled out the yellow envelope Ian had ignored and his facial expression sunk as he watched Mickey, finally realizing what it was.

“Is that—”

“Yep” Mickey responded flatly, looking inside

“Is there anything left in there?” Ian wondered

“Yeah, I never converted half of it” Mickey muttered.

It was the envelope of cash that Ian had given to Mickey when he left him at the border, and it was evident by the tension in the air that it had brought up the vivid memory Ian had replaying in his head constantly since the moment he left him until they met again.

“Why only half?” Ian questioned

Mickey hesitated, making his way to sit on the side of Ian where Chico wasn’t.

“In case a part of me wanted to come back” he confessed, not meeting with Ian’s eyes as he stared at the American money in his hands, it felt foreign to him now.

“Did—” Ian paused, licking his lip quickly, “did you want to come back, ever?”

“All the fucking time” Mickey huffed, “but it wasn’t worth it. Not if you didn’t want me”

“Hey” Ian’s hand instantly reached for Mickey’s, “I always wanted you, Mick. It was just—the timing was off”

Mickey just nodded and went to pass the envelope back, their eyes meeting now.

“Take it, it’s yours”

Ian furrowed his brows, pushing the money away with a shake of his head.

“I won’t need it, I have enough. It’s yours now”

Not wanting to start an argument, Mickey shut up, sighing as he placed it back into the box with his free hand whilst the other was still held comfortingly by Ian, their fingers entwined. Ian rested his head upon Mickey’s shoulder, causing a smile to spread across Mickey's face as he pressed a light kiss into his orange locks, just breathing him in.

It was just the two of them and a peacefully sleeping Chico, just the way they hoped it would always be. Even if Mickey was so sure he would have to say goodbye to his favorite pup today.

 

Once Mickey had finished packing, Ian had squeezed whatever he had left behind from his room inside the suitcase. They made sure to double-check everything, knowing they would never come back here.

Ian took things out to the car as Mickey surveyed the bottom floor of the house, just taking in these final moments before he left and made sure he truly had everything he needed.

He felt a nudge by his knee and looked down to smile with the chocolate Labrador that’s always filled with exuberance.

“Hey Chico” He greeted, crouching down to meet with his adorable eyes, “You’ll be a good boy, right?”

Mickey tried not to get emotional, he never thought he would become so attached to an animal, yet here he was.

With a slight whimper, Chico sensed something and jumped onto Mickey, causing Mickey to fall backwards. He laughed, stroking his soft fur as he held him there, just resting his head against Chico’s as he tried to fight the way his throat tightened.

“I love you so much” he whispered to the dog, “I promise I’ll come back for you”

Ian walked in the door at that moment, his heart sinking as he witnessed Mickey hold onto Chico as if he were his own child. Did Mickey think that after all this, they could just leave the dog behind?

“We can bring him with us” Ian told him with a soft tone, not wanting to ruin the moment

Mickey sniffed, letting Chico down as he looked up at Ian, eyes now bright with optimism.

“Really?” he croaked

“You really think I’d trust leaving him with an abusive sociopath? No, he comes with us”

Mickey smiled wide, looking at Chico, “you hear that, boy? You’re coming home”

Chico got excited by the happiness within Mickey’s voice, his tail wagging as he looked at Ian with the same amount of optimism Mickey did.

Ian walked over to give him a good pat on the back, Mickey just admiring his little family as they started to get playful.

When he moved his eyes away, he recognized the pot plant that sat in the hallway, suddenly remembering what he had buried there.

“Shit” he mumbled, instantly catching Ian’s attention

“What’s wrong?” Ian wondered with concern

“Nothin’ just—” Mickey got off the ground, “gotta do something, can you go get his food, toys and his file from the office?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah of course”

“Thank you”

Ian smiled, calling for Chico to follow him as he made his way up the stairs. That just left Mickey alone, knowing he had to take one last item from this house before he left.

He nearly ran over to the pot plant, quickly digging at the spot he remembered it being in.

He found the gun first, pulling it out with a disgusted look on his face as he shook the dirt off it, digging with one hand now as he found what he truly wanted—the picture of Ian he had printed out from when Ian ran away to the army all those years ago.

Mickey dusted the photo off and sighed at how even two days in the dirt could cause it to age, but he couldn’t wallow on that thought, grabbing the pen and notepad from the hallway table and making his way to the kitchen.

He rested the gun on the countertop, still holding the photo in his left hand as he scrawled out a note quickly, hearing Ian’s footsteps approaching.

‘ _Andre,_

_I’m sorry it’s had to end this way._

_I hope life’s good to you._

_Regards,_

_Mick’_

He folded the paper in half and wrote André’s name clear on the front before resting it against the gun, Ian made his way into the kitchen now, his hands filled with toys and a file of Chico’s medical records.

“Could you get me a bag, please?” Ian asked with discomfort, struggling to keep the items in his hands from falling

Mickey responded quickly, opening a drawer to pull out a clean trash bag. He opened it, shaking it to bring air into it which allowed Ian to dump Chico’s things inside.

“This dog is way to spoilt” he huffed before noticing a picture of him on the countertop, “What’s that?”

Mickey tried to beat Ian to the photo but Ian caught a grip on it, pulling it off the counter and holding it high so Mickey couldn’t reach it.

“Bitch—give it back!” Mickey whined

“You still have this?” Ian asked, bewilderment striking him. He brought the photo to his face so he could look at it properly, admiring how aged it look from years of torment. It was bittersweet, really. Mickey kept photos and old beer bottles, even after Ian had broken his heart.

Ian didn’t deserve Mickey, but he was more than grateful that Mickey had let Ian back into his heart.

“What, you don’t keep photos of me?” Mickey scoffed, snatching the photo back

“No—I mean, not printed ones, but I used to look at old photos in my phone all the time” Ian confessed

They met each other with an understanding smile before Mickey put the photo in his pocket.

“Go take the dog to the car” he ordered, taking the trash bag from his grip, “I’ll gather the rest of the shit and double-check the house before coming out, okay?”

“Alright” Ian agreed. Mickey went to turn away, but Ian pulled him back by the sleeve, “wait”

“Wh—”

Ian pressed a light, assuring kiss to Mickey’s cheek as if he couldn’t help himself before pulling away.

“Don’t take too long, okay?”

Mickey looked up into Ian’s eyes with a smile, “Okay”

Mickey watched Ian walk away from him, smiling at how he called out for Chico and he came running. They were his happy place, and with each dimming second in this home, he could already feel it dragging it down. He couldn’t wait to get out of here.

After gathering the dog food and dog bed, Mickey was more than ready. He double-checked only briefly before leaving the house key by the gun and heading out the door.

He locked it from the inside before slamming it shut behind him, his heart jumping at the fact that he had done it—he had escaped from this house of horrors.

Not looking back, he raced to the running car with undeniable excitement in his chest. He opened the trunk of the car, fitting in the last of the stuff before closing it, making his way to the passenger side.

Mickey got in, meeting with Ian who smirked in the front seat, as if he were happy to see Mickey finally  _free_.

“You ready?” Ian wondered, to which Mickey just nodded, the same smirk on his face.

“Let’s ride”

* * *

 

Once they got out of town and made it onto the country roads, they could feel the life that had consumed them disappear.

Mountains were shaped like waves as they carved the bright blue sky, the sun still shining as adventure awaited them. They chased the twisted and open road where it takes the couple in the perfect direction—to home.

These empty roads felt like a blessing, blaring music from the stereo to fill the open air as the boys sung along, and even though their voices were loud, they were still buried by their anthem, Love is a Battlefield. The song gave them strength to know that whatever came next, would be worth it, and every time they looked at each other, they couldn’t help but feel pride within one another that they had made it this far.

With open windows, it caused the wind to come coursing through violently, truly captivating Ian and Mickey as it rattled their hair as if it were a hug from freedom saying to go for it and reach their goals.

Through the screaming of the lyrics, Ian looked back at what was now  _his_ dog, Chico, who sat in the back seat with his head out the window, enjoying the way the wind flapped his ears and tongue around, as if he was loving his new freedom, too.

Ian looked back to the road with a smile, letting out a happy sigh as he felt Mickey’s fingers reach for his hand now. Ian instantly held onto it, linking their fingers as he steered with one hand, biting his lip as he noticed how Mickey looked at him as if Ian were his entire world.

Ian gave him a similar look back, nodding at him in reassurance before concentrating on the road once more.

It would be a long drive home, but it would be worth it.

This was it.

They were it, no matter what.

Forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this happy chapter before the next part of the story begins :) Although this story isn't in two parts, I consider chapter 25 onwards to be the next part of this wild adventure to bring Mickey home. So stay tuned, and know that this story is truly only just beginning ;)
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! x


	25. Chapter 25

Stars that once scattered and lit up the sky slowly disintegrated as the sun came by to say hello once again. It shined arrogantly bright through the car windows to where Ian and Mickey slept somehow peacefully in the backseat.

It had taken a while for them to find the right position, but once Mickey rested against the door, one leg sprawled whilst the other hung off the seat, Ian found a comfy spot between them and they were finally happy.

The redheads long legs were sprawled out awkwardly yet somehow content, his head lying upon Mickey’s chest whilst his torso was encapsulated perfectly by his boyfriends strong and loving arms.

The sun hit Mickey’s eyes first, causing him to be disgruntled as he rose from his sleep, but frustration oozed into gratitude as he found Ian still sleeping against him. Ian’s sleeping hands held onto the arms that wrapped around him, afraid that if he decided to let go, Mickey would disappear.

But he was here, and he would continue to be here, to wrap his arms around Ian and protect him forever.

As Mickey admired the soft Gallagher in his grip, Chico seemed to notice Mickey had woken up and poked his little head around the seat to say hello.

“Hey buddy” Mickey whispered with a smile

Chico stood up from Mickey’s greeting, his tail whipping against the car door from the happiness he felt.

“You probably need to pee, don’t you?” Mickey continued to keep his voice low with a sigh before looking down at Ian again.

He didn’t want to disturb Ian from his sleep, but knew they had to get back on the road soon.

Mickey bit his lip, carefully removing his arm from Ian's grip so he could lightly stroke the freckles upon his cheekbone with the back on his hand, admiring how glorious he looked as the sun beamed over his eyes now, too, but Ian was so comfortable and safe in this deep sleep between his lover's arms, not allowing anything to bother him.

Mickey continued to run his fingertips down Ian's face and along his jawline, just adoring every piece of this man as he ran his thumb over Ian's bottom lip, causing him to stir.

"Hey..." Mickey whispered, his fingertips making their way back up so his thumb could ran soft circles among his temple

Ian's brows furrowed as he finally began to wake up, quickly easing into the soft sensation of Mickey's hand.

"Wakey, wakey, my love"

Ian’s eyes slowly crept open and were instantly in awe at the sight of Mickey’s face, as if he couldn’t believe this was happening and that Mickey was real. Mickey was here.

He was sure he had a bad dream last night that caused this bewildered state, because for some reason, now more than ever, he couldn’t bring himself to look away for even a second without worrying something would happen.

“Are you alright?” Mickey wondered, continuing to admire the way the sun made his green eyes somehow greener

Ian nodded, brows knotting together as he sat up. He could feel how tense his muscles had become from laying in the backseat, he wondered if this sudden worry on his shoulders was from the fact they would be strolling over than border later today.

Mickey recognized the worry in Ian’s pensive stare and how he slumped over. He moved from his place against the door, ignoring the agony in his back as he sat next to Ian, placing his hand upon his shoulder.

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he wondered with slight insecurity

“Fuck no” Ian huffed, “This is what I want”

“Okay” Mickey nodded, “just makin’ sure, don’t want what happened last time to happen again”

Ian gave Mickey a glare as if that offended him, Mickey was instantly taken aback.

“What?” Mickey questioned, he wasn’t trying to hurt Ian in saying that.

The sudden tension was broken by Chico scratching at the car door, eager to get out. Mickey let out a sigh, reaching for the door handle.

“Wait, Mick—” Ian stopped him, placing his hand on his arm, pulling him back.

Mickey sat down and looked at Ian, waiting for a real response. Ian scooted closer, placing his hands on either side of Mickey’s neck as he gave him promising look.

“It won’t happen again, okay?” he told him, so sure of himself.

“Okay” Mickey smiled lightly

Ian smiled back before leaning in, Mickey instantly embracing the good-morning kiss, their lips motioning slow, soft and loving. Ian’s hands traced the shape of Mickey’s jawline, making their way into his hair as they pulled away ever so gently.

“I gotta piss” Mickey mumbled, causing Ian to light up, laughter filling the void now.

“Really?” Ian nearly snorted, pulling his hands completely.

“Well you sleeping on my bladder for majority of the night probably didn’t fuckin’ help” he chortled

“Yeah, alright. I guess we should feed Chico anyway” Ian replied, looking at the dog that stared pleadingly at the lovers, just waiting for them to snap out of their little world so he could finally have some attention.

 

As Mickey and Chico both went into the bushes to release their bladders, Ian poured some dry dog food into the designated bowl. He placed it down on the ground before filling another bowl with a bottle of now room temperature water that they had purchased yesterday.

The happy Labrador came sprinting back up from the bushes to lap up the water and have something to eat whilst Mickey took his time, zipping up his pants as Ian pulled out his cigarettes.

Ian lit a cigarette for himself before throwing the pack to Mickey who caught it perfectly with his hands.

“Aye!” Mickey cheered, proud of himself

Ian exhaled the smoke with a laugh as Mickey placed one between his lips, walking up to get the lighter off Ian.

Once Ian passed it over, he made his own way into the bushes whilst Mickey lit up his smoke, walking back and forth to stretch his legs as he let smoke enter and exit his lungs.

He removed the cigarette from his lips and exhaled, watching how the sun continued to rise. If this were Acapulco, he’d already feel the heat, but it was far cooler here and it that fact was actually somewhat comforting to Mickey, because that meant he was closer to home.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Mickey called out to Ian, leaning against the car now as Chico went for a run back into the bushes for fun.

“I have no idea! There’s fuck-all reception but I don’t think we’re far from the next town” Ian replied before removing the cigarette from his lips so he could do up his own jeans.

“Good, I’m fuckin’ starvin’” Mickey chuckled, watching Ian make his way back to the car

“Same” he huffed, “What time is it anyway? 7?”

“Somethin’ like that”

Ian joined Mickey’s side by the car, leaning against it as he took another drag of the cigarette. The two men just stared out to the open distance beyond the bushes and the bright blue sky that savored them.

“We’ll probably get to Texas by 3 or 4, maybe 5” Ian estimated before suggesting, “we should go to a thrift shop or something to buy you a new dress”

Mickey had to laugh at that thought, “because it was so fun last time”

“Oh yeah, finding heels in your size was pretty satisfying”

“Shut up” Mickey laughed, flicking the ash off his cigarette

Ian bit his lip to hide his chuckle before inhaling the smoke again.

“So who’s driving?” Ian wondered, flicking his own cigarette now

“You can” he mumbled, “I drove most of the time yesterday, so”

“Alright” Ian shrugged, walking around to the driver’s side, "we better get going!"

Mickey sighed, inhaling one moor puff before walking towards the bushes.

He whistled before calling out, “Chico! Come on!”

The dog did a few more circles, sniffing around the bushes as Mickey continued to call out for his cheeky Labrador.

It only took one more yell before Chico came trotting back as if time was meaningless, when the reality of it all was that they wanted to get over the border before the sun went down.

Mickey placed his cigarette in his mouth and opened the back door. Chico jumped in as Mickey tipped out whatever was left in the bowls and placed them on the floor in the backseat. He gave Chico a quick pat before closing the door and made his own way into the front seat as Ian started the car.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Mickey wondered before taking one last drag of his smoke

“Nope, just going to follow the signs” Ian smirked, tossing his own cigarette out the open window before pulling onto the highway.

 

The ride continued to cruise nicely as they made their way towards a city called Durango. The couple just had fun, listening to music and talking about what was to come. The idea of going to that border frightened them in the same way it had the last time, but this time they were better prepared and so sure that this is what they wanted.

As the empty roads slowly turned into suburbia, the music that once blared turned down with it. Ian continued to maintain the correct speed as Chico stood up in the backseat, panting and wagging his tail, excited to get out and explore new surroundings.

“Not yet, buddy” Mickey told him, reaching his hand around to give him a pat

Ian just smiled, glancing at the dog in the rearview mirror before reaching for his phone, passing it to Mickey as his focus moved back onto the road.

“Do I have any reception yet?” Ian wondered, “Can you look up a place to eat and tell me where to go?”

Mickey took the phone with a nod, clicking the home button just to find a bitter feeling bringing a distasteful smirk to his face.

“Who the fuck is _Trevor-Do Not Answer_?”

Ian nearly slammed on the breaks, head snapping to the phone, “the fuck!?”

He reached for the phone and Mickey was quick to snatch it back

“Eyes on the road, Gallagher!” Mickey scolded, causing Ian to huff as he became fidgety, trying not to wonder why the fuck Trevor would be calling or messaging him.

Why now? After so many months apart?

“So, who is he?” Mickey questioned, “This the ex?”

“Yeah” Ian sighed, leaning his elbow against the door as he ran his fingers through his hair

“Well looks like he wants to make up with you” Mickey snickered before putting on a mocking voice, “‘ _I miss you baby, I know you might just miss me too. How can you stand to be alone for so long?’_ Then he goes, ‘ _fuck you, you know no one could do you like I can_ ’”

Ian let out a frustrated groan, wanting to smack his head against the steering wheel

“He was clearly drunk, can you just find a fucking address, please!?” Ian insisted

“Alright, alright, relax” Mickey huffed, finding a place to eat as he wondered, “Do you ever miss takin’ it in the ass?”

Ian’s eyes grew wide, giving Mickey a look of shock. He was not at all prepared to be asked that kind of question.

“What?” Mickey replied, his brows raised now, “do you!?”

“No!” Ian guaranteed, “I mean, it felt good but it’s not something I _want_ , you know? I like being in control”

Mickey scoffed, “Oh, I know you fuckin’ do”

Ian flashed a grin at Mickey, slowing down at a stop light whilst Mickey started the route to their location.

“I told him that I made you cry I was so good” Ian boasted with a smirk, Mickey was now the one staring in shock

“You fucking didn’t—”

“I didn’t say it was you, don’t worry”

Mickey just shook his head, biting his lip to hide his grin as he recalled the memory.

“I bet you over-exaggerated it too”

“Ahh” Ian pursed his lips, shimmying his hand, “Only a little bit”

“Fucking dick” Mickey laughed, “It was one tear! And you thought trying all this new shit in one night was a great fuckin’ idea—”

“It was an _amazing_ fuckin’ idea thank you very much!” Ian argued, causing Mickey to laugh even louder

“Yeah alright, tough guy—you better change lanes soon, you have to turn left”

“Yes, _honey_ , I know” Ian replied sarcastically, causing Mickey to playfully hit him over the head

“Don’t be a fuckin’ smartass!” he told him off

Ian just giggled like a smitten teenage girl before grabbing a hold of Mickey’s hand and linking their fingers as he drove with his left hand.

“You know I’m kidding” Ian replied, sharing a soft smile with his boyfriend before successfully changing lanes.

Mickey just smiled, looking out the window to the strange surroundings of the city. It was more like a town, like most small cities in Mexico. There were no skyscrapers or businessmen bustling to get to work, it was just nice churches, small community stores and palm trees that were higher than any tower. It was nice, the clear imperfections adding so much color and character to the city.

As Ian obeyed the GPS and turned onto the street before their location, Chico barked loudly as he sensed they were close to their destination, causing the men in the front seat to jump from shock.

“Shit! Yes, Chico, we’re here!” Ian told him, “Relax, alright?”

Chico just let out another bark, excitedly jumping over the armrest and onto Mickey’s lap which caused Mickey to yelp and made Ian gasp from further shock.

“Fuck!” Mickey cried out, whilst the careless dog placed his front paws on the door to look out the window

“Shit, Mickey. You okay!?” Ian wondered, slightly pedantic as Chico scratched at the door.

“Little shit nearly squished my nuts but yeah, I’m fucking fine”

Ian gave a tight smile, trying not to laugh at the humor in this situation as he pulled over and parked the car. Chico became even more excited as Ian opened the door, but Mickey held him back, patting his head.

“Can you get the lead, please?” Mickey asked his boyfriend kindly

Ian nodded, slamming the door behind him as he went to get it from the trunk. Chico jumped off Mickey to get in the back, eager for Ian to return.

Mickey huffed, grabbing Ian’s phone and trying not to feel threatened as another text from Trevor came through.

_‘Can we meet up after work? I’d like to talk. Trev’_

Shaking his head, Mickey locked the phone and slid it into his own pocket before getting out of the car, walking towards Ian.

“Hey, I got your phone” he told him, trying not to think anything negative

“Okay, cool” Ian replied, closing the trunk as he made his way around to the back door where Chico waited impatiently.

Mickey sighed, examining his surroundings and the little café across the road that had 5 out of 5 stars on TripAdvisor. Damn, he didn’t notice just how hungry he was until this moment.

The phone in Mickey’s pocket started to go off with its generic ringtone, startling him. He reached for it, hoping it wasn’t Trevor becoming even more adamant on seeing Ian.

But it wasn’t, it was just Ian’s alarm to take his meds. _Thankfully_.

“Who is it?” Ian wondered as he rushed around with Chico pitter-patting by his side.

Mickey switched it off and handed the phone over, “Just your alarm, gotta take your meds”

“Shit” Ian muttered, grabbing the phone and passing over the lead, “Thanks”

Mickey just smiled in response, grabbing a hold of the leash. Ian went back to the car to take his meds with some of the warm water they had as Mickey crouched down and clicked his fingers, causing Chico to go from sniffing the concrete to saying hello to his dad by licking his chin to say hello.

“Hey buddy” he sniffed, scratching his back before cupping his face to press a kiss to his forehead, “I do love you, but you’re a piece of shit sometimes, you know that?”

Chico just looked up in his eyes as if he were proud of that fact as Ian closed the car door, Mickey standing back up as Ian came back around.

“Alright. Hungry?” Ian questioned with a bright smile

“Fuck yes, I am” Mickey chuckled

Ian placed his hand on Mickey’s back as they quickly glanced before crossing the road to the café that was almost calling their name.

It was a cute little place painted red with a fence made of perfectly trimmed hedges and flowers, a few locals sat at the tables outside, sunglasses over their eyes and bright smiles on their faces as if they had no care in the world.

Then there was Ian and Mickey—two American’s with a battle still left to face.

They made their way down the pathway to the front door, trying not to wonder what these people must be thinking. They paused at the front door, Mickey well aware that he’d have to wait outside with Chico whilst Ian ordered their food.

“What would you like?” Ian asked, his eyes locking on Mickey’s with so much care it blew him away

“A-Anything” he nearly choked, “as long as I get my coffee I don’t care”

Ian smiled, “got it”

He made his way inside and Mickey waited patiently, deciding to have a small walk around the area to let Chico stretch his legs and sniff the ground and objects surrounding him.

Of course, being the friendly dog he was, Chico wanted to say hello to people who were having a nice conversation over some coffee. Mickey just smiled and did the usual, _hello, yes he is my dog, he’s a year old, he’s a Labrador and his name is Chico_.

It was a challenge to do in another language, but he had done it enough times it had gotten easy. Mickey said goodbye to them and made his way to a table with some shade and took a seat, tying Chico’s leash to the arm of the chair.

Ian came out only a second later with a table number and a receipt, smiling at how nice Mickey looked in the early morning sunlight, just patting and talking to their favorite dog.

 

They didn’t have to wait for long before a waitress came out with their food and drinks, interrupting Ian and Mickey who were mid conversation about what they’d like to do when all this was figured out, like seeing games and concerts, Mickey even mentioned taking Yevgeny to the zoo briefly before saying something about a Kendrick Lamar concert. Ian just had to smile at that before greeting the waitress.

She placed their cappuccinos in front of them before taking the plates of sandwiches, fruit and desserts from the tray to place on the table, making Mickey’s eyes grow wide. Ian knew how to keep his boy well fed, a smirk on his face seeing how Mickey’s eyes lit up.

After saying thank you, the waitress smiled, tightening her ponytail and waving at Chico who was already looking up at Ian with begging eyes before walking away.

“Stop acting like you don’t get fed” Ian told Chico with a sigh before tossing him a strawberry

Mickey was already taking a bite of his sandwich, almost moaning from the satisfaction as Ian carefully sipped his coffee.

“You got way too much food” Mickey mumbled, taking another bite

Ian laughed, “We haven’t eaten since before we left, we’ll eat it”

Mickey just shrugged, the silence between them proving their hunger as they continued to eat and enjoy all the flavors that they would rarely experience once they got back to Chicago.

Ian pulled out his phone and began searching for some sort of thrift store for them to explore as he ate, Mickey trying not to feel that anxiety on his consciousness about Ian possibly texting his ex-boyfriend back.

“What’re you doin’?” Mickey questioned, making Ian look up at him

“Oh, nothing, just lookin’ for a thrift shop to get you something to get across the border”

Mickey shifted his eyes, “do we really need it though? Like, the sooner we leave, the better, right?”

“Yeah but Mickey, you were in Mexico for over a year” He pointed out, “What if a guard remembers you or something and you’re still wearing the same exact outfit?”

“They couldn’t even notice my face do you really think they’ll remember what I wore?” Mickey bickered, to which Ian just gave a sly look, adoring his hot-headed boyfriend.

“Well I think we should go anyway and see the town” Ian suggested, “These are our last moments together in Mexico, Mick. Who knows what bullshit we have ahead of us, just enjoy it for now”

Mickey bit his lip, reaching for his coffee, “Alright, but no make-up, ‘kay?”

“You serious? I was going to look up a YouTube tutorial right now” Ian gave a joking grin, making Mickey laugh

“You come near me with a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit and I promise you’ll lose a tooth”

“No you wouldn’t, you love my teeth too much” Ian said with a bright smile to show off

Mickey shrugged, raising his brow, “you’re not wrong” he muttered, sipping his drink

Ian couldn’t fight his bashful grin before they tucked back into their meal again, discussing light topics and whatever came to mind. Once they had finished the fruit and sandwiches, they reached for the sweet pastries. Ian couldn’t help but laugh at how powdered sugar got onto Mickey’s nose, reaching over to wipe it away with his thumb.

This caused Mickey to also smile bashfully, but that bashful smile soon turned to a frown as Ian’s phone began to violently vibrate against the table over and over. Mickey hoped it was an alarm or maybe one of his siblings, but there it was, what he hoped he wouldn’t see.

_Trevor-Do Not Answer_

Mickey’s eyes met to Ian who was now frozen beneath the sun, staring at the phone as If he was unsure on what to do.

“You gonna answer it?” Mickey muttered with insecurity, Ian’s eyes snapped to give him a stern look.

“It says _Do Not Answer_ for a reason”

“Well he clearly wants you back—”

“You don’t think I’d actually take him back, right?” Ian questioned with a harsh stare, Mickey shrugged

“I don’t fuckin’ know, you left me at the border for him last time—”

Ian nearly slammed his hand on the table, bringing his voice low so no one would overhear.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me Mickey. This isn’t last time, this is _you_ and _me_ , _now_ , _forever_ , got it? I would never get back with him—I wouldn’t get back with any of my exes—Do you know why, Mick? Because they’re not you”

Those big blue eyes didn’t even blink as he took in what Ian had said before looking down, feeling stupid for being so jealous.

“Listen to me, Mickey. I didn’t come all this way to spend months fighting for you just to let you go. You have to know that by now—that after everything we’ve been through, I just can’t let you go”

Mickey back at him now with a nod, “I know, just—you know how I get sometimes”

Ian reached his hands over to place them on Mickey’s face, their eyes locking as he gave a look of sympathy

“I know…and that’s my fault for acting how I have for the past 10 years”

Mickey seemed to smile now, “It hasn’t been _that_ long”

“Close to it” Ian huffed, moving his hands to Mickey’s chest now, “I’m sorry”

They exchanged a look of love and equal understanding as Ian pulled his hands away so they could get back to eating. Just as Ian took a bite, his phone vibrated once more.

His eyes met with the phone to see another message from Trevor that read;

 _‘Ian seriously what the fuck is with you? I just want to talk and you ignore me??_ ’

“That him again?” Mickey wondered, and before Ian could even find a response, Mickey grabbed the phone.

“What are you doing!?” Ian reacted, dropping the pastry onto the plate as he watched Mickey type something out.

He hit send and threw the phone down onto the table, Ian reached for it instantly to read what he had said;

 _‘Fuck off!! Stop fucking texting and calling me. I’ve moved on!_ ’

“Dude thinks he’s all that because he has a box of dildos and hit your prostate once or twice” Mickey huffed, gulping down what was left of his coffee.

Ian smirked, looked up from his phone to stare proudly at his boyfriend.

“I could get a box of dildos easy—and what about being a top makes you a dom king? I’ve made you cry before too!” Mickey stated, making Ian nearly gasp

“Mickey!” 

Uncaring, Mickey just raised a brow, “it’s fucking true”

“I-I know” Ian exhaled, leaning his elbow on the table to chew on his fingernails as he grew quiet

Mickey smirked, “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Aren’t you?” he responded

“Of course”

Ian grinned now, resting his chin on upon his palm as he became flirty

“I don’t need Trevor when I have a power-bottom like you”

“Oh Jesus fuck—” Mickey jumped up, causing Chico to wake from his nap, “We better move on now before we decide to stop for a detour” Mickey remarked before untying Chico.

With a laugh, Ian stood up, throwing down some pesos as a tip before grabbing his phone and taking off after Mickey who was already past the fence and heading towards the car.

 

Shopping definitely helped curb the sexual tension they created over breakfast, they had made it a challenge to see if they could wait until they got to their motel in Texas to fuck. It wasn’t so bad with a distraction like being in a thrift shop, but the next 8 hours in a car would be the hardest.

They had tied Chico to a pole outside so he could have some fresh air whilst Ian and Mickey browsed a Thrift Shop they had found. It was old, a bit dusty and even had that _old_ smell, as if the place had been locked up or years and years without a breath of fresh air.

Even the shopkeeper was old, her attitude fitting the store that was filled with dead silence. Ian felt like a little kid on a field trip to the Art Gallery, laughing under his breath over stupid things that wouldn’t typically be funny, whilst Mickey was the kid who enjoyed the art and would turn around, placing his finger to his lips and go _Shhh_.

“Oh, what about this?” Ian suggested, pulling out a shirt from the rack that was ripped up like something a hooker would wear, Mickey gave a look of disgust

“You’re joking, right?”

Ian hesitated, “Well, yeah”

Mickey smiled and shook his head, making his way down the aisle as Ian put the shirt back. All they were looking for was some sort of extra-large blouse to wear with his black skinny jeans so he could easily change once they crossed the border, he’d still have to wear the heel boots, but at least it wouldn’t have to be for too long.

This time, they had even picked out a bra so it’d look like he was a woman under the loose blouse. Ian loved every moment of this and he tried so hard to convince Mickey to wear some lipstick, but of course, he kept refusing.

Mickey honestly didn’t think he cared too much about fashion, but these options were making him feel uncomfortable by how tacky they looked. Maybe living with André for a year and letting him make Mickey fashionable was rubbing off on him?

“Hey Mickey, should I have a disguise too?” Ian questioned

“Why the fuck—” He turned around to find himself wide-eyed at the sight of Ian wearing a brunette wig that was long and wavy, “What are you doing?”

“We could be a lesbian couple. Mikayla and Iana, huh?” Ian raised his eyebrows as he gave Mickey a playful grin

Shaking his head, Mickey licked his bottom lip to hold back his own grin, “The fuck kind of name is Iana anyway?”

“I don’t know” Ian laughed, pulling it off his head and putting it back on the shelf, “Have you found something yet?”

“Only thing I can find is this huge light blue one” Mickey sighed, pulling it out from the rack

“You look nice in blue, get it” Ian told him, “It’s just to get across the border anyway”

“Yeah, guess you’re right” Mickey agreed, “Now let’s get the fuck out of here, this place gives me the creeps”

The couple made their way towards the front of the shop, Ian touching little knickknacks that interested him along the way which Mickey would be quick to tell him to put down.

Ian honestly didn’t know why he was acting how he was, he knew it wasn’t mania because he didn’t feel good about it. Honestly, he was nervous and was trying hard not to worry about what could happen when they reach the border to get back into the United States.

As they reached the counter, Mickey passed over the top and the moody woman behind the counter gave him a look.

“Es para mi mamá” Mickey lied in Spanish, and despite the lady finding that reason questionable, she continued to serve him anyway

That was when Ian noticed a bargain bin next to the counter that said _‘¡barato!’_ and the first thing Ian saw inside the box was a shirt from Las Vegas.

_Carl_

He walked over and pulled the shirt from the bargain bin, holding it wide open in the air so he could examine its quality. It was a mustard yellow with an old convertible on the front with the typical _‘Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas_ ’ logo. It was a bit big, but Carl liked baggy clothes, right? Plus, he still has some growing to do.

Mickey took the bag with his blouse from the lady with a smile as Ian came back to place the shirt on the counter, Mickey furrowed his brows from both confusion and curiosity.

“The fuck is that for?”

“Carl” Ian explained, “I said I was going to Nevada and he said to bring him a shirt so thankfully I found this”

“Fuck” Mickey huffed “lucky you”

“Yep” Ian agreed before pulling out his wallet to pay the grouchy woman behind the counter.

She didn’t give Ian any change before placing the shirt in a bag, Ian wasn’t going to fight the lady over a few pesos and just went along with it, grabbing the bag with a smile.

“Gracias” He thanked with a nod

The lady just gave a dull smile and Ian followed Mickey out the door, more than grateful for the fresh air filling his lungs now, whilst Mickey pulled out his cigarettes, wanting to fill his lungs with a dose of nicotine.

As he lit his cigarette, Ian greeted Chico and untied him from the pole, patting at the dog who was more than excited to see his dads.

Mickey exhaled smoke and nudged Ian’s shoulder, Ian looked up at him and Mickey offered the cigarette. Ian took it without question and took a drag as Mickey crouched down, wanting to say hello to Chico, too.

“So, what’s next?” Mickey wondered, looking at Ian who shrugged, standing up as smoke exhaled through his nose.

“Up to you, we can hang out for another hour or head home”

Mickey didn’t even need to consider the options, knowing well what he wanted as he stood up, a strong hold of the leash with one hand as he reached for the cigarette with the other.

Ian passed it over, watching Mickey take a deep inhale.

“Home” Mickey exhaled with a nod, “let’s go”

With a smile, Ian agreed and made his way back to the car, trading the smoke from Mickey with the keys as they approached the vehicle.

Once they had put Chico in the backseat and got into the front seat, Ian couldn’t help but feel that anxiety slowly creep over as Mickey followed the GPS towards the border-cross.

This would be a long 8 hours, but Ian wasn’t going to let these anxieties take control. Not this time.

* * *

 

As expected, it was a long drive. It was mostly just dirt roads with nothing around but an occasional tree which only made the trip feel longer. They distracted themselves with music and Ian and Mickey’s game of ‘ _Who Will Give in Before We Reach the Motel?_ ’ continued, with Ian teasingly tracing Mickey’s length in his skinny jeans with hopes that once he was hard Mickey would pull over and give in, but Mickey’s stubbornness never allowed it to follow through.

More than anything, they were just eager to get this over with. Of course, those anxieties about the possibility that this might not work out flooded their mind, but they kept quiet. They drove continuously, only stopping for gas before heading off again. Neither of them were hungry or even considered eating because of the nerves rattling their bodies, but Chico was a good comforter and Ian allowed him to sleep on his lap part of the way even though he was a large dog who could easily suffocate him.

For the last four hours, Ian drove and Mickey played the same tricks Ian did, teasing him and whispering dirty thoughts into his ear and although Ian was considerably weaker than Mickey when it came to sex, he knew how to stay determined and kept thinking about how great the sex would be once they were finally across the border and were completely alone to give in to each other’s lust.

When traffic started to build and slow down, they knew it was time to prepare. Mickey took off his shirt and started to change and Ian turned down the music so he could clear his mind as his boyfriend put a bra on as if it were just another shirt.

Mickey continued to change, pulling the blouse over his head and found the loose-silky feeling rather feminine, but that didn’t bother him so much as it used to. He then took off his combat boots and threw them in the backseat before pulling on his heels.

Ian stayed concentrated on the road this entire time, keeping quiet as he kept reminding himself that this would be easy. They got in with ease, they’ll get out with ease too, right?

At least he hoped so, but he wasn’t going to give in, no matter how scared he was this time, but all those things from last time started to pile his mind again, his mental health, his job, his family and how easy it could be to just lose it all and end up in prison for 3 years.

3 years doesn’t sound long considering, but he wouldn’t be placed in the same prison as Mickey and that fact hurt more, but the fact that hurt the most was that if they were caught, Mickey would have to face more than his intended prison time because Ian failed him.

But he tried to shake those thoughts, knowing well that these thoughts held him back last time and Mickey ended up fine in the end, whilst Ian thought about him non-stop for the next year.

He didn’t want to leave Mickey behind again; he couldn’t allow himself to think _I can’t_ because he _can_ do this.

Ian was a Gallagher, and he was taught that even though they might fuck up and do stupid shit, that doesn’t make them weak and he just had to get back up and keep fighting.

So, he would keep fighting, for himself, for Mickey and for whatever future they possibly had together.

He had to, he never wanted to go back to the life he lived without Mickey ever again.

 

They were only a few cars away from the border now, Mickey had his wig and pieces of jewelry on and was just as silent as Ian. Even Chico was quiet, despite the fact they had come to a complete stop and usually he would be over-the-moon about it, he seemed to sense that something was different now.

Mickey looked over at Ian and couldn’t help but notice how his eyes stayed fixed on that border-cross, his hands gripping too tight to the wheel his knuckles had turned white.

He could sense those worried thoughts Ian was having, hell, Mickey was having them too. This was scaring the shit out of him but there wasn’t any other way to do this, they had to just face the danger and take the risk.

“You good?” Mickey wondered with pure concern, causing Ian to break out of his own mind.

“U-Uh yeah, of course” He smiled softly at his boyfriend

Mickey returned a slight smile and held his hand open for Ian’s. Ian looked at that soft palm as he gently placed his hand in his, their fingers twining.

“This is it, huh?” Mickey smirked

Ian nodded, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Mickey’s hand and kept their fingers intertwined as he pulled away.

“This is it”

They looked out to the road where it was their turn to go through. Ian released his foot from the brake to creep up to the border slowly, letting go of Mickey’s hand to grab a hold of the steering wheel as they approached the guards.

“Get out the ID’s and papers” Ian told Mickey, who instantly opened the glove compartment to reach for them.

A knock came at the window and Ian felt his heart jump, looking to the intimidating guard outside as he rolled down the window.

“Good morning Sir” the man greeted, glancing at Mickey and to Chico who sat in the backseat, “You have your ID’s?”

“Yes—right here” Ian grabbed the fake passports from Mickey and handed them over, along with Chico’s documents.

He handed back Chico’s document, “We just need the paper that said he was vaccinated for rabies”

“R-Right, uh”

Ian tried to stop shaking as he flipped through the paperwork, Mickey watching the guards from his side-mirror who were using detectors on their car.

“Here you go” Ian smiled as he passed the right paper over

The guard went to check them and Ian could feel his heart pounding in his throat, he had hoped so badly it would work. At least so far they hadn’t recognized Mickey, which was the more important thing.

Mickey watched the other guards back away from the car and looked over at Ian, staying silent as he witnessed how heavily Ian was breathing, it were as if he were moments away from a panic attack. Mickey reached his hand over to rub the back of his neck in comfort, to which Ian sighed, giving Mickey a quick smile as if to say _I’m okay_ before looking back to the guard who made his way back over now.

Ian’s heart stopped as he waited for that indicator that said  _Yes_ or _No_.

The guard handed over the paperwork with a nod.

“Welcome home”

Ian’s smile grew wide as his heart began to function normally now, grabbing the paperwork and passing it to Mickey.

“Thank you!”

He rolled up the window and watched the barricade move up, Mickey unable to fight the grin on his face as he watched, too. Ian drove through at a steady speed and once he was officially in Texas, he put his foot down, speeding back onto the highway.

“We did it!” Ian cheered, his eyes glazing with accomplishment.

“Fuck yeah we did!” Mickey laughed, pulling off the wig now, “Thank fuck, that shit was starting to get itchy”

Ian laughed, adrenaline still shaking his bones as he drove. He couldn’t focus right now, too ecstatic from making it through. He could already feel the familiarity taking his soul, he was home.

Ian and Mickey were _home_.

He pulled over to the side of the road once they were far enough that they couldn’t be seen, Mickey pulling off those fake earrings and finally feeling like he could _breathe_.

Ian looked over at Mickey who looked back, the two of them taking deep breathes as they smiled, happy and proud of one another. Ian leaned across and they embraced in a tight hug, squeezing their eyes shut as they felt their emotions tighten their throats, biting back the need to cry joyfully at the fact that they had done it, and that they were finally on the road to their goal.

They loosened their hug and Ian cupped Mickey’s face, just resting their foreheads together as they took in this moment and what it meant for them. Mickey pressed his nose to Ian’s softly and Ian smiled, nodding as he stroked his cheek.

Ian leaned into Mickey’s perfectly parted lips, moving soft yet passionate as if to say _I love you_. Sinking into it, Mickey seemed to take Ian’s breath away, exhaling as he pulled himself in for more. It was so gentle, so sweet, yet those emotions they shared intensified it, Mickey pulling on Ian’s shirt as he just wanted him like this, always.

Remembering their little game, Ian slowly pulled his lips away, still holding him in his embrace as their eyes met with nothing but complete and utter love and appreciation for one another.

“Guess we should get some dinner and get to the motel?” Ian suggested

Mickey nodded, biting his lip, “Yeah, let’s do that”

Just as they pulled away completely, Chico scratched on the door, indicating something else.

“Oh shit, did you need to pee?” Ian asked the dog who of course couldn’t respond.

“You go let him piss, I’ll get back into real clothes—This bra is digging into my fuckin' back”

Ian couldn’t help but laugh, “alright,” he pressed a quick kiss to Mickey’s cheek before opening the door, “Come on Chico!”

Mickey watched Chico jump over the arm rest to chase after Ian with a smile on his face. He found himself being thankful for this new life, even if it wasn’t much of a life yet, but those involved made him happy, and he didn’t want to let it go anytime soon.

So, after changing out of that ugly blouse and bra into his grey t-shirt and combat boots, he finally felt like himself, and felt like anything was possible.

He also was starting to feel hungry now that those nerves had disappeared. He couldn’t wait to just buy dinner, get a few beers and just have a nice night before they got up early for the long ride home.

 

After exchanging their Mexican pesos for the American dollar, they settled for some cheap pizza and beer before heading to the motel where they just drank beer and watched TV that was finally in English, which felt odd to them both and they wondered just how much they possibly could've missed in the time that they were gone.

Chico also enjoyed finally being in a place that wasn’t crowded like the car, just doing little laps of the room before he ate his own dinner and indulged in some pizza crusts thanks to Mickey and Ian.

Once they had finished eating, they knew they’d have to sleep soon and decided to settle down, turning off every light in the room besides the cheap lamps on the bedside tables. Chico had settled on the couch to sleep whilst Ian and Mickey made their way towards the bed through the archway that gave an illusion that this was an entirely separate room.

Ian sat on the end of the hard, springy mattress, watching how Mickey took his shirt off so effortlessly. His eyes couldn’t help but admire the shape of his waist and his toned stomach. He looked so beautiful, the dim light bringing the intimacy they had been craving to the surface.

“You lookin’ at me?” Mickey wondered with a smirk

“I like watching you” Ian admitted softly, his eyes continuing to just take in the beautiful man his eyes laid upon

Mickey bit his lip to stop the butterflies rising within him. He made his way over, playfully throwing the shirt at Ian’s face, but Ian was quick to grab it and threw it carelessly onto the floor, not wanting to miss any moment of _this_.

As Mickey got close enough for Ian to touch, he reached his hands out, gliding them up Mickey’s soft, delicious torso as their eyes met, Mickey gave a lustrous and dominative stare as he ran his hands through that smooth hair, admiring it as he found himself thinking about just how much he truly favored the color orange.

Ian’s eyes nearly shut from his touch but continued to watch the way Mickey got on top of him. Ian glided his hands up Mickey’s back slowly, enjoying the curvature as he leaned up for a kiss.

But Mickey pulled Ian's head back by the hair, towering over him to just admire what was his, witnessing that worshipping stare within Ian’s eyes.

“Please…” Ian’s voice hardly even managed to whisper, his hands making their way down to grope at Mickey’s ass and pull him against him.

Mickey bit his lip, closing his eyes as pleasure seemed rise, his own hands gliding down to Ian’s neck just enjoying the sensation of his warm skin reacting to his touch. Ian slowly pressed a hot kiss to Mickey’s chest, inhaling deeply as he begged under his breath once more.

“ _please…_ ”

Mickey’s hands made their way to Ian’s hair again, pulling him away from his chest so Ian could look up at him.

When he met with those eyes, Mickey could just feel himself melt and he allowed himself to press his lips softly to Ian’s. Ian instantly embraced it, his hands moving up his back where he dug his fingers into his skin, his lips begging for more as he forced Mickey’s mouth open for a more deeper, loving kiss.

Mickey exhaled, letting their tongues meet as he held his boyfriends face with so much need within his grip. They continued to kiss, teasing yet meaningful, a prideful smirk sneaking onto Mickey’s face as the heat built between them.

His hands reached for Ian’s shirt, wanting it off his body instantly. Ian broke the kiss to quickly do as Mickey had asked, removing his shirt with help from Mickey before their lips slammed together again, Mickey sinking onto his lap as the intensity grew more passionate by the second.

Their crotches began to grind against each other’s bodies without even meaning them too, Mickey’s hand now clasping around Ian’s neck as he pushed him down, their tongues clashed as they seemed to beg for more, Mickey unable to help but rub his crotch against Ian’s at a rhythmic pace.

Ian’s hands now made their way into the back of Mickey’s skinny jeans, getting a tight hold on him as they worked against one another, a soft ‘ _oh_ ’ sound releasing from Ian as their kiss became sloppy, the tension in his pants growing tighter as Mickey continued to rule his world.

Mickey’s lips made their way to Ian’s jaw as his hands motioned down to cup at Ian’s hardness. Satisfied with the what he had created, Mickey grinned, now making his way down Ian’s body.

Ian propped up onto his elbows as he watched Mickey make his way onto the floor, his lips kissing his own name that was tattooed upon Ian’s pelvis as he undid the buckle on Ian’s belt. Ian couldn’t help but admire the sight, his fingers running through Mickey’s hair as if to say he was doing a good job, and he was.

He was doing a fucking amazing job.

Mickey looked up at Ian almost hungrily as he fumbled to undo the button of his jeans. Ian felt his breath hitch at the sight of those piercing blues, just ready to give him his all.

Once the pants were undone, Mickey pulled them down to floor with the help of Ian before tracing the outline of his dick inside of his boxers.

Mickey bit his lip, humming as he stroked it through the thin fabric, noticing a faint stain of pre-cum which caused him to smirk, groping it harder.

“Fuck…” Ian breathed, leaning his head back because he knew that if he watched Mickey do whatever he planned on doing, he would lose it.

Mickey let out a soft laugh before pressing a hot kiss to the bulge, tugging at the elastic. Ian shut his eyes, lifting his hips so Mickey could pull his boxers down with ease.

Without hesitation, Mickey took Ian into his mouth, taking him in all the way and savoring the way he tasted. He pulled away with a slight gasp before running his tongue up the length, just to take him in again, working Ian in and out of his mouth fast in the motion Ian always went crazy for.

Ian’s moans were muffled and Mickey looked up to see Ian watching him, brows knotting as he bit his lip, just loving how Mickey’s tongue ran across the sensitive spot of his head over and over again.

Mickey took him in deep, sucking him as hard as possible before moving up and down once again, and with that, came a ringtone from the pocket of his jeans.

“S-Shit is that my phone?” Ian groaned

Mickey hummed, continuing to give his boyfriend an impeccable blowjob.

“W-Who is it?” Ian breathed unevenly

Mickey pulled away, taking a deep breath as he gave Ian an annoyed stare.

“Please?”

Rolling his eyes, he pulled the phone from Ian’s pocket and glanced at the name.

“It’s Fiona” he told him, tossing the phone over.

“Shit, I better take this—don’t stop though, okay?”

Mickey smirked, “Wasn’t planning on it”

Ian grinned, answering the phone and bringing it to his ear as he tried not to gasp at how Mickey took him back into his mouth.

“H-Hello?”

“Hey Ian!” She greeted, “Just checking in”

Ian threw his head back as Mickey worked wonders with his tongue

“Okay” Ian sighed

“Are you okay!?” Fiona became concerned by his tone of voice

“N-No I’m fine” Ian gulped, “I was meant to call you, I-I’ll be home in a couple days”

Fiona’s voice was hard to concentrate on as Mickey started to pump him with his hand at the same time. Ian quickly put his end of the line on mute so he could cry out.

“Oh fuck!” he hissed, free hand gripping into Mickey’s hair as he worked faster, Ian’s breath panting as the pleasure rose.

“—I was actually supposed to ask when you get back so I can make sure your beds free. Lip’s been staying at Mandy’s lately anyway so I’m sure it won’t be a problem”

Ian took a deep breath, trying to contain himself as he took it off mute.

“Okay” he breathed, “that’s fine—I-I got to go”

 “Oh, okay. Can’t wait to see you! We all miss you!”

Ian rolled his eyes as his body tensed, he wanted this conversation to be over.

“I miss you too” he huffed, biting his lip hard as Mickey moaned against him.

“See you soo—”

“Bye!” Ian quickly cut her off and hung up, “holy shit!”

“Uh huh” Mickey mumbled against him, taking him deeper and working his tongue and hand in all the right spots.

Ian’s leg began to shake, just watching how good Mickey devoured him as he felt the fire take over his senses.

“I-I’m close” Ian warned as he began to pant

Mickey pulled away to whisper, “come for me” before taking him deep into his mouth again, sucking in his cheeks as his tongue did all the work, throbbing against the head as he moved in the perfect way he always did, causing Ian to arch his back as he yelped with pleasure, pulling Mickey’s head right down as he came.

“Fuck, Fuck!” Ian whimpered as he rode out his orgasm in Mickey’s mouth, and Mickey took it all in, making sure Ian was finished before pulling away, wiping his mouth as he swallowed.

Although Ian had came, they were far from done. Ian sat up properly with a deep breath and waved for Mickey to come closer.

“Get up here” he breathed, a smirk now stretched across Mickey’s face as he launched himself up, his arms wrapping around Ian’s neck as their tongues collided in a sloppy mess. Ian’s hands glided to grope at Mickey’s ass through the jeans before picking him up, Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian, the two moving together to lay Mickey by the head of the bed.

Ian’s hands lingered to Mickey’s jawline as their tongues continued to twist and almost melt into one another before pulling away, Ian trailing hot kisses down Mickey’s chest as he undid the skinny jeans that were about to pop from how hard Mickey had become.

He got to his belly button and moved away, biting his lip as he eagerly pulled down the skinny jeans, Mickey lifting his hips to help Ian remove them. Ian pulled them off and admired Mickey’s beautiful body and how it agonized for pleasure as he tossed the jeans aside.

Ian dove down to Mickey’s left leg, lifting it up as he worshipped his thick thighs with passionate kisses, his tongue loving the taste of his skin. He could already hear Mickey reacting with loud moans which were getting Ian hard once more. He bit gently into the left thigh before moving to the right one, trailing kisses up towards his pulsing dick.

“H-Hurry up and suck my—”

Mickey gasped as Ian finally placed his mouth on him, licking up and down and swallowing him whole by sucking in his cheeks. The pleasure rattled like electricity through his veins and he knew this wouldn’t last very long at all.

Ian worked fast, his tongue working in phenomenal ways that had Mickey yearning for more. His hand grasped into that bright hair and he started to fuck Ian’s mouth, rolling his hips as pleasure took control, his whole body arched as Ian took it all. He slid his hands beneath Mickey’s ass to hold him in place as he moved onto his back, pulling Mickey with him.

Mickey let out a laugh of bliss as he ended up on top of Ian, one hand in Ian’s hair as the other held himself up against the wall, his hips continuing to work himself in and out of his boyfriend’s plump mouth.

He looked over his shoulder to notice Ian was getting hard again and bit his lip, grinning as he removed his hand from the wall, spitting before grabbing a hold of Ian’s length, pumping in pace with how Ian worked Mickey in and out of his mouth, the moans Mickey caused him to created just caused Mickey to roll his head back as he let out his own groans of pleasure.

“Oh god...” he exhaled, beginning to feel that fire burn through him. He pulled out from Ian’s mouth and started making his way down his body, Ian gulping down air as he tried to balance his breathing and his hands began gliding up Mickey’s body as they came face to face.

Mickey leaned in and they pressed their lips together, his tongue sliding along Ian’s bottom lip lightly as he grimaced, pushing himself down onto Ian’s hard length. Ian let out a shaky breath, his hands sliding into Mickey’s hair as they continued to make out, moving his hips in and out of Mickey at a steady pace.

“Fuck…” Mickey breathed against Ian’s mouth, his hands moving up to Ian’s chest as he pressed his head against Ian’s neck. He braced himself, carefully sitting up and sinking down onto Ian completely, unable to fight the whimper as that fire in his body just got more intense.

“Y-You good?” Ian wondered, his hands gripping into Mickey’s thighs as they stared into each other’s eyes with a mixture of lust and love

“Y-Yeah” Mickey breathed with a nod, smiling as began to ride Ian into the right spot with each stroke, picking up the pace to the rhythm they were at before.

All this build up the entire day was worth it, Mickey could just feel the burn slowly growing in his thighs as they began to go harder and faster, just focusing on the end goal which could possibly be one of the most intense orgasms they’ve ever had.

Mickey began to pant as he rolled into the way Ian bucked his hips at an even pace. He tried to put more pressure in his arms to stop his legs from aching but he could feel all his muscles shake, wanting to give in to it all and let Ian bring him to finish.

“Flip me over” he ordered with a heavy breath

Their lips met again as Ian’s arms wrapped around him, rolling him onto his back without fail and began to roll his hips, thrusting into Mickey faster as they tried to focus on their kiss, but the pleasure was blowing them away to the point where they didn’t care, pressing messy kisses all over their mouths and down their necks as they got closer to the edge.

Mickey’s fingers gripped tight into Ian’s shoulders as his whimpers and grunts got louder, their mouths meeting for one more kiss before Ian crossed that finish line, the couple gasping, panting and moaning loudly as they clung onto each other, one of Ian’s hands tight in Mickey’s hair as the other pumped him at the same pace.

In only a few quick strokes, Mickey threw his head back and Ian covered his mouth to muffle those screams for mercy as they came together, Ian panting and pressing a kiss to the tattoo on Mickey’s chest as he rode out his orgasm with Mickey.

As Ian slowed down, the couple slowly regained their breathing. Mickey let out a sigh as Ian carefully pulled out, staying in his position on top of Mickey.

Their eyes met with a smile, the pair stealing soft, sweet kisses as Mickey’s shaky hands slid through Ian’s hair before slowly pulling away.

“Shit, man” Mickey laughed, pulling his hands away to look at them, “I’m fucking shaking”

Ian chuckled, grabbing his shaky hands to press his lips to his fingers.

“We’re good, aren’t we?” he mumbled against his hands with a smirk

“We’re more than good” Mickey smirked, “we’re fucking fantastic”

Ian smiled and leaned in for one more kiss, the men kissing slow and delicately as they basked in the after-glow of their ecstasy.

After all, that was probably the last time they could have loud and passionate sex for a while, but they didn’t like to think about it, happier to be in each other’s arms for this current moment.

 

They fell asleep almost instantly that night, tired out from their moment of passion. Ian spooned Mickey beneath the sheets, holding him close as their hands limply held one another and fingers loosely intertwined, managing to still be so in love, even whilst asleep.

The 24-hour drive they would have to face soon would be their one last taste of serenity before they dived back into chaos for a while and they weren’t going to take it for granted.

Even if it were to be filled with one person driving whilst the other slept—they would enjoy the quiet and whatever memories that were left to be created together before the next challenge they had to face.

And although It would be a long drive to Chicago, they were thankful that they would finally be where they supposed to be.

 _Home. Safe_ and _Sound_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late again! :( I was sick this week and this chapter took a fair while to write, but I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think and I will see you next week with another chapter! xx
> 
> Thank you :)


	26. Chapter 26

Before the sun had even found the chance to kiss the sky, Ian and Mickey were already on their way back home to Chicago. A weary-eyed Ian drove, sipping on his 7/11 coffee as Mickey slept in the passenger seat for the first few hours until it was time to switch shifts.

This ride would be long and agonizing, but it gave both men time to themselves, to just reflect and prepare for the road ahead of them.

Ian liked having these quiet moments, where he was alone but never lonely with his pup and Mickey close by. It was nice to have this moment of tranquility after so much chaos and destruction, but during these moments where he sat alone, he couldn’t help but think of the future—he has always been a person who looked forward to his future, without it, he would most likely be dead by now

That was a fact. A fact many people aren’t usually willing to admit out loud, but Ian wasn’t scared to admit it.

What did scare him though was what would lie ahead for him and Mickey. He hoped that this next part of this plan would work without fail, because things seemed to be going a bit _too_ smoothly for the couple, and it made him anxious to think that this may just be dumb luck and that they could run into another bump sooner rather than later. He hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but those thoughts couldn’t stop making their way through his mind no matter how hard he tried to shake it away.

As Ian witnessed the sun slowly break the darkness with its bright orange glow, he pulled over with a deep sigh, turning the car off as he left Mickey and Chico to rest as he just admired the sunrise and how the colors mixed, circling the sky.

He felt something so overwhelming cloud his body. He wasn’t sure if it was a mix of love, exhilaration or fear, but it made his eyes sting to the point he wiped pointless tears away.

Perhaps he was just tired, or maybe it was the anticipation of finding out Lip’s plan that had him feeling overwhelmed—but it could also be the idea that after all of this, Mickey could easily be taken from him again.

Ian nearly smacked the wheel with frustration, wishing he could keep a good thought running through his head for more than 24 hours at a time. Sure, thinking was good, but his thinking had turned into his fears taking hold. He just wanted them to stop.

This was supposed to be a time where he could let these thoughts go and look forward to what was next, but his mind couldn’t allow himself to feel satisfied without his pessimism getting involved.

Needing reassurance, he reached for his phone that quietly told instructions on the dashboard of their car, knowing he had to call Lip with the little reception he had. If he didn’t, he would probably have some sort of meltdown and make another dumb mistake.

He got out of the car, holding the phone to his ear as he felt himself coming up for air; the cold morning wrapped around him welcomingly. Chico awoke at the sound of the door closing, wanting to follow Ian instantly.

“Hello?” a half-awake voice answered

Ian recognized Chico’s scratching at the door and opened the back door to let him out, shutting it behind him.

“H-Hey, sorry if I woke you” Ian replied, making his way around the car as he followed Chico to watch him wander through the grass.

“No, no, it’s fine dude I had to get up in 20 minutes anyway” Lip spoke with a yawn, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m losing my fucking mind” Ian vented quietly, trying to refrain from acting out.

“Why?” his brother’s voice sounded more alert with concern now, “Where are you?”

“Texas—we’re on the way home” he sighed, “I’ve been driving for the past 5 fucking hours with nothing but my own head and I’m freaking out because I’m worried this shit won’t work out”

“It’ll be fine” Lip tried to assure him

Ian shook his head slightly, taking a deep breath as he kept his eyes glued on Chico.

“Ian trust me, I have an almost fool proof plan—”

“ _Almost?_ ” Ian huffed, “That’s what scares me”

“I have a backup plan too, okay? Chill the fuck out” Lip continued, “and thanks for telling me he said yes, by the way”

“Shit, I’m sorry” Ian mumbled, “just so caught up in it all, forgot”

“It’s cool, I knew he’d would” Lip responded, a smirk evident in his voice.

Ian smiled, feeling a bit more at ease now until he remembered something

"Oh yeah, we brought Chico with us”

“Shit—Is that the dog?”

“Yeah” Ian laughed, “couldn’t leave him behind”

“Alright well I’ll warn Jasper he’s coming”

“Good” Ian continued to laugh with a grin

Lip laughed with him, “Now stop freaking the fuck out and get here”

“Yeah, yeah, alright” Ian grinned, “Thanks, man”

“Don’t sweat it, I know you’d do the same for me”

Ian couldn’t help but smile, agreeing with that.

“See you”

“Bye”

Ian hung up and felt that weight finally come off his shoulders. It didn’t completely tackle those thoughts away, but he felt reassured that this wasn’t just dumb luck—they were being smart and logical about the whole situation. They would be okay, especially if they had a backup plan.

 

After taking a leak himself, he called Chico back to the car with him to feed him his breakfast and give him a drink before they got back on the road.

As he opened the back door to reach for the dog bowls, Mickey seemed to stir awake by the sound of the metal clanging into one another, confused by the empty surroundings.

“The fuck are we?” Mickey croaked, rubbing at his eye with his palm as he sat up.

“Shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you” Ian apologized as he filled the bowls, “We’re a couple hours from Oklahoma”

“Fuck” Mickey sighed, grabbing his cigarettes from the dashboard and lighting one up as if it were his substitute for a morning coffee, “Guess I’m drivin’?”

Ian placed the bowls on the ground, “yeah”

Chico was chomping away at the food in no time whilst Mickey held the cigarette between his lips, climbing over to the driver’s seat despite the stiffness in his bones. The cold air that flowed through the open back door made Mickey shiver, he reached for the zip-up hoodie he had been resting his head among as he slept and shrugged it onto his body, still huffing and puffing on his cigarette as he zipped it up.

Once Chico finished, Ian successfully got the Labrador back into the car, along with the bowls before finally shutting the door, getting into the passenger side now.

During this time, Mickey had almost finished the cigarette and played music from an old Reggaetón CD that was André’s to help wake him up. He’d have to stop at a gas station along the way for his own dose of caffeine.

“Party at 6am?” Ian joked with a laugh, Mickey turned it down now

“Nah, just using it as a substitute for coffee” he admitted as he exhaled his cigarette, passing the half that was left over to Ian, “here”

“Oh, thanks” Ian mumbled as he pulled it up to his lips as Mickey started the car

“We got everything?” Mickey made sure, Ian nodded, looking over his shoulder at Chico

“Yep we’re good”

With a nod, Mickey released the handbrake and did a head check as he sped back onto the highway, Ian seeming happy and without worry as he smoked the cigarette, admiring the bland yet colorful world outside.

 

After an hour of just quiet chatter and having McDonalds drive-thru for breakfast, Ian fell asleep in the passenger seat, his head burying into the hoodie Mickey once wore (Ian begged for him to take it off) they were lucky the car had heating, otherwise Mickey would be freezing, but he didn’t mind. Ian needed that distinct smell to help soothe him after this morning’s little freak out.

Mickey wasn’t so worried about getting caught, at least not to the extent Ian was. Mickey seemed to trust Ian, which should frighten him but somehow it didn’t. He’d rather be here with Ian and risk everything than stay in Mexico as a fugitive.

Sure, he had spent a lot of his life as a criminal, but it was getting old—even for him. He wanted _normalcy_ which was something he never thought he’d tell himself, but it’s what he wanted. He wanted happiness and if risking everything was the only way he could have that, then that’s what he’d have to do.

He was confident and somehow optimistic, but he didn’t get his hopes up, already thinking about a backup plan if it went to shit and they did get caught. Mickey was good at lying and fighting for what he believed in when push came to shove.

Well he’s presumed to be dead, right? So, that narrowed down the chances of getting caught by a large percentage. It had also been over a year and a lot of people had likely forgotten about it. Of course, the feds were probably keeping an eye out, but not like they used to.

Mickey had done his research on fugitives before, he knew how easy it could be to live without fear. He wasn’t stupid—maybe he was stupid for trusting André—but he wasn’t stupid about the entire thing, he knew it was possible, and he knew it was possible to get out of it with little to no prison time. He just hoped that he and Ian would be lucky enough to get out of this alright.

After everything they’ve been through, they just had to.

As he drove almost aimlessly, he couldn’t help but take quick glances to admire the ginger next to him and think what this meant for him, for them. He was so sure this was it this time. No more bullshit, and for once that feeling was mutual.

They could finally see that they loved each other on the same level, there was no ‘ _I love you more_ ’ bullshit. They knew they loved each other, and that was the most beautiful thing about it all.

To be loved gave them both a feeling of completion, and that no matter what, for as long as they were together, the world would be in the palms of their hands.

Chico stood from the backseat as Mickey slowed down as they reached another moment of random suburbia, his head poking into the front seat and his hot breath panting into Mickey’s ear as if he were excited.

Mickey at first gave a disgusted face at the sensation, but had to smile at the pup’s excitement.

“We’re not there yet Chico, sorry” he told him softly as he stayed focused on the road.

Chico just gave Mickey a kiss to his cheek before moving the back window. Now understanding, Mickey rolled down the back window so the dog could stick his face out to say hello to the world.

Mickey just couldn’t fight the uncontrollable smile on his face, just enjoying this serenity and the simplicity. Even though he wasn’t back in Chicago yet, it felt good to be back in the USA.

* * *

 

After 6 hours, Mickey stopped just outside of Springfield, Missouri and it was Ian’s turn to drive again. Ian happily did so without complaints, which came as a shock to the Milkovich who tried to sleep but his deprivation kept him wide awake and perky as they made it through the next town.

Mickey tossed and turned, fidgeting in his seat as he tried to close his eyes, but it was no use. Ian had to smirk at how frustrated Mickey seemed to be, a brow raised with curiosity as he drove.

“Aren’t you tired?” Ian questioned, letting out a laugh

“Fuck—obviously not” Mickey huffed, sitting up properly as he stared longingly to the road ahead

“Well we still have like 7 or 8 hours, so it’s not like you don’t have time” Ian noted, his eyes trying to concentrate on the road instead of the blue-eyed man next to him

“8 hours? Fuck sake” Mickey slouched, swearing this ride was a lot quicker on the way to Mexico

Right now, all he felt was boredom and agitation. He wasn’t sure what happened last time that helped him get from A-to-B without a problem, but that’s when it occurred to Mickey that the weed they smoked last time was probably helpful, as well as something else...

That got him thinking, a smirk growing on his face now.

He looked at the redhead who focused on the road ahead, Mickey’s eyes slowly tracing his body as he began to reminisce over last night's passion, once his eyes noticed the bulge in Ian’s pants, he realized that maybe he was thinking the same thing, too?

“I have a wild idea” Mickey spoke, grabbing Ian’s attention

“Oh yeah?” Ian grinned, glancing at him now, “like what?”

Biting his lip, Mickey reached his hand over and palmed at Ian’s crotch, pressing and pulling teasingly slow before tracing the outline of Ian’s length.

“Like that” Mickey said in a soft, luring voice that drove Ian wild for a taste of him.

Ian’s breath hitched, his hands tightening around the steering wheel as he allowed Mickey to tug at him harder.

“W-We don’t have time” Ian muttered, trying to keep it together as Mickey unzipped his jeans now

“8 hours seems like a fuckin’ long time if you ask me” he continued in that soft tone, pulling out the half-hard length and massaging it slowly.

Ian’s mouth gaped open as he looked down, feeling nothing but sensitive pleasure with each stroke Mickey made, trailing his thumb over the head of his dick.

“Fucking—Jesus” Ian nearly gasped, his eyes trying to keep track of the road ahead whilst the rest of his body tried not to give in to the desperation of wanting Mickey closer.

Mickey let out a light moan, loving the sudden control he seemed to have over his boyfriend. His free hand palming his own length as he twisted and worked his hand in ways that always got Ian begging for more.

“Aren’t you bored?” Mickey questioned, rolling his hips only slightly into his own grip, a smirk from the bliss forming as he felt himself grow harder

“Not anymore” Ian exhaled, biting his lip as he felt himself get turned on at the sight of Mickey pleasing himself.

“Then pull over” Mickey demanded before bringing his voice low, “ _Please_ ”

Ian took a glance at their surroundings, feeling heat travel through him as the pleasure increased. He couldn’t fight his need for Mickey. You’d think they’d be more than satisfied after last night, but that was far from the case.

“Alright, get in the back” Ian directed as he pulled over, pulling up the handbrake and turning the engine off.

Mickey smiled bright with triumph, jumping over the armrest into the backseat where he woke up the dog that was just minding his own business in the backseat.

“Sorry buddy, time to get in the front”

Ian tucked his length back into his pants as he opened the glovebox to pull out the lube they had brought from one of the several visits to gas stations along the way. Chico pushed his way onto the passenger seat with help from Mickey who was more than eager to feel Ian’s body against his again.

Giving the dog a quick pat, Ian made his way over the armrest into the backseat to meet with Mickey who sat there looking somehow innocent.

“Couldn’t wait 8 hours?” Ian questioned teasingly with a smirk as he climbed over, throwing the lube to the side for now as he straddled himself on Mickey’s lap in the small space they had to share.

“Fuck off, you wouldn’t have been able to wait that long either” Mickey pointed out, his hands slipping up the back of Ian’s shirt as the redhead laughed

“True” Ian shrugged it off, leaning down to press his lips to Mickey’s

Mickey quickly accepted it, his fingers digging into Ian’s soft pale skin as Ian’s hands glided into his hair, the two sharing a kiss of passion and pure need, tongues colliding in a war they didn’t even know they had started.

The make out was hot and heavy, escalating quickly as Ian began to grind on Mickey. He bit on Mickey’s bottom lip before pressing hot kisses down his neck. Mickey gasped, eyes shut as he bucked his hips against Ian, the couple feeling each other all over now, just wanting to get even closer.

Ian shrugged off his coat from the heat travelling through their bodies, their lips managed to collide again, both so needy and just basking in the sensations of one another. Sight, touch, smell. It was all beautiful.

“Turn over, get on your knees” Ian demanded under his breath before diving in for another kiss

Mickey grasped onto Ian’s neck as they kissed deeply, tasting each other as they began to move in the confined space they had. They broke away as Mickey got on his knees, facing towards the back of the car with his body pressed up against the backseat.

Mickey’s eyes shut at the sensation of Ian’s soft lips upon his neck, his lover moved, continuing to press these kisses as he positioned himself behind him. Mickey pulled down his pants as Ian pulled his length out before reaching for the lube, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s back as he prepped them both.

“Ready?” Ian muttered

“What kind of fuckin’ question is th—” He suddenly gasped, feeling Ian fill him up effortlessly

Mickey reached a hand behind to tug on his t-shirt, the other gripping hard into the headrest of the seat, wincing and exhaling hard as he eased into it. Ian worked his hardest to get them to the right place as quick as possible, but they almost didn’t want it to be over.

Ian placed his hand over Mickey’s on the headrest, their fingers intertwined as the other hand reached for Mickey’s length, jerking him as he picked up the pace, circling his hips in rapid movements.

“Fuck!” Mickey screamed from what anyone would think was torture, but it was anything but that, it was pleasure, his hand that once held Ian's shirt now gripping tight onto the backseat as he rocked into Ian’s thrusts with ease.

“Shhh” Ian chuckled as he panted, biting into Mickey’s shirt as he continued to work his hardest to get them exactly where they needed to be.

Mickey bit hard on his lip to prevent his moans from being too loud, his fingers that were linked with Ian’s grabbing tightly as he felt the pleasure take over his senses. All he wanted was to rip their clothes off and turn around so they could increase the intensity. He wanted every piece of Ian, but that would have to wait—a quickie in the backseat would suffice for now.

Ian slowed down the pace, teasing as he squeezed his grip on him to gain those pleading profanities from Mickey that came so easily.

“W-We don’t have time” Mickey moaned, “Get with it, Gallagher”

With a chuckle Ian pressed a kiss to the back of Mickey’s neck.

“We have plenty of time” Ian whispered before surprising Mickey by pounding into him once again.

Mickey threw his head back as he cried out and Ian let go of Mickey’s hand so he could hold his neck to keep him in place, thrusting as fast as he could manage, his other hand jerking at the same speed as he felt Mickey tensing around him, so close to the finish line now.

“R-Right there” Mickey panted, feeling fire rush through his veins as his fingers dug into the bicep of the arm that held his neck, that tightness turning him on further.

They continued this fast, needy pace, rocking into each other perfectly as Ian huffed and panted, feeling that pressure within him as his lips continued to kiss the neck he held. The pleasure ruled his entire body, and in only a few simple movements, they both were grunting and crying out as they came in sync, just ignoring the world around them as they started to come down from their orgasm.

Slowing down, they came to a stop and Ian pulled out, quickly reaching for the tissues they had kept in the backseat so they could clean up, still catching their breaths as they did so.

Once cleaned and their pants were back on, they collapsed next to each other in the backseat, just slouching as they tried to relax their unsteady heartbeats.

Mickey took a deep breath, looking over to meet with Ian’s soft green eyes. They both let out a laugh from the ecstasy of it all. Mickey placed his hand softly on Ian’s cheek, stroking softly with his thumb as their smiles grew fonder.

“I love you” Mickey professed, witnessing a sparkle in Ian’s eyes as he grabbed the hand that rested on his cheek.

“I love you, too” Ian returned with a soft smile, pulling the hand away to he could link their fingers.

Ian couldn’t help but admire how perfectly their hands seemed to fit and how right this all seemed to be. He had never felt so satisfied in such a long time, feeling nothing but passion and love. Even if this shit wasn’t perfect yet, it was perfect for now.

Mickey had to admire it too, also feeling those overwhelming emotions as his mind trailed off to think of the possible result at the end of all of this, which lead him to an idea.

“Hey” Mickey looked back at Ian again, “Do you think we could go to a _Toys ‘r’ Us_ on the way home?”

Curious, Ian’s brows lifted, “Yeah, sure. But why?”

Mickey shrugged, “Thinkin’ about the kid, I should get him something”

Ian smiled, adoring how Mickey cared as he scooted closer, only imagining of what it’d be like for Mickey to be reunited with Yevgeny.

“Sounds like a good idea” Ian agreed, wrapping his arm around Mickey’s shoulder to press a kiss to his temple

Mickey smiled and turned to look at Ian, the two just staring at each other with a deep amount of love before leaning in for a soft, slow and delicate kiss that reminded them that this was exactly where they needed to be—they were on the road to their happily ever after.

They pulled away just as slow as when they leaned in and Mickey sighed, fluttering his eyes open to admire the freckles on his lover’s perfect skin.

“C’mon, let’s go share a smoke before we get back on the road” Mickey suggested as he broke away from Ian’s hold, opening the door.

Ian smirked, feeling so gooey and in love as he watched Mickey get out. God, this man had Ian wrapped around his finger, but he didn’t even care because he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You comin’ or what?” Mickey called out as he walked further away, lighting his cigarette

Ian sighed happily, scooting his way to get out the door before calling out to the dog who managed to continue his nap in the front seat despite the quickie.

“Chico, you coming?”

Without another word, Chico got up and came trampling out the door, excited to go for another run in the empty surroundings.

Ian shut the door, just loving this moment of peace as he approached Mickey and grabbed the smoke he had passed over, taking a drag.

Exhaling smoke from his nose, Mickey looked up at the man he loved with a gentle smile before resting his head on his shoulder, crossing his arms as Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey, the couple just watching their dog in the distance, enjoying this moment of silence and the love that they felt for one another.

For once, they were happy, and they almost couldn’t believe it.

* * *

 

As the sun set through the abundance of trees that encapsulated the road they drove along, Ian realized they were only 30 minutes out of Saint Louis and knew he had to wake Mickey who managed to pass out after the quick sex they had earlier.

Ian couldn’t deny, he was proud of himself for being so good he put Mickey to sleep, but the adventure was ending, and they had one last thing to do before they continued the journey to Mandy’s place.

“Hey…” Ian whispered, gently pushing at Mickey’s shoulder, “wake up”

Mickey jolted slightly as he was disrupted from his deep sleep, disoriented from the darkness that had consumed them now.

“Where are we?” he croaked as he sat up, evaluating the world outside

“Near Saint Louis” Ian informed, “We talked about this, remember?”

Mickey huffed, grabbing his cigarettes, “You’re fuckin’ paranoid, you know that?”

“Well one of us has to be, I don’t want us taking so many chances”

Mickey lit his cigarette, shaking his head. He inhaled deeply and exhaled as he spoke.

“You know I hate wearing that fucking wig”

“I know” Ian replied flatly, running his fingers through his hair

“Then why can’t you just go in and get it for me and I wait in the car?”

“Because he’s your kid!” Ian argued, “And I’d have no idea what to get”

“And you think I know?” Mickey scoffed

“Again, he’s _your_ son and besides, don’t you want it to be personal?”

Instead of replying, Mickey let the smoke flow into his lungs as he winded down the window enough so he could ash his cigarette with ease.

“I’ll stop at the next rest stop and you can get changed”

Mickey hummed, flicking ash out the window, “I swear you just like seeing me in dresses”

Ian smirked, glancing at Mickey before running his hand teasingly along his thigh

“You know I love these legs” Ian spoke flirtatiously, Mickey flicked his hand away

“Fuck off” he chortled, bringing the cigarette back to his lips

As he inhaled, Ian pulled it from Mickey’s lips so he could take a drag himself. Mickey raised his brows, smirking at his rather testing and playful boyfriend. Ian exhaled and handed the cigarette back, that bright and cheeky smile still managing to shine in the darkness.

Trying not to be impressed, Mickey ignored him and brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply as he felt his stomach rumble, causing him to pout slightly.

“I’m hungry” he decided to share

“Same” Ian replied, focused on the road, “We’ll get KFC or something after we go to Toys ‘r’ Us”

“Are you kidding?” Mickey responded in disbelief

“They close at 9! We don’t have time” Ian argued

“just go through the fuckin’ drive-thru like we always do!” Mickey reasoned before looking over to the backseat, “What do you think Chico? You hungry?”

Chico jumped up, tail wagging as he butted his nose against Mickey’s forehead. Mickey laughed, patting him with his free hand before taking another drag of his cigarette.

“See, even the dogs hungry”

With a sigh and a grin, Ian gave in

“Fine, just ‘cause I’m hungry, too”

Pleased with his victory, Mickey sat up straighter with a smile, looking out the window as he enjoyed his smoke and began to think about what he should get for Yevgeny.

What toys were kids even into these days? He’s like four, right? That can’t be too hard. At least he hoped it wouldn’t be.

 

After eating their dinner in the parking lot of the _Toys ‘r’ Us_ Mickey let out a breath of both contentment and annoyance as he reached for the wig that sat upon the dashboard. He pulled it onto his head as Ian collected all the mess and put it into the paper bag. With little to no time to waste, they made their move despite how full they felt.

Closing the doors, Ian locked the car as he followed Mickey, somehow catching up and getting ahead of him as Mickey concentrated on not breaking an ankle in his shoes.

“C’mon slow poke” Ian teased, turning around and holding his hand out as he walked backwards.

Mickey huffed, walking awkwardly as if his stockings were pulled up a bit _too_ high, his heel boots click-clacking against the concrete. Ian paused, that smirk unmoved as he waited for Mickey to catch up.

“I wish you were in fuckin’ heels so I could make fun of you” Mickey expressed, ignoring Ian’s hand as he made his way past

“I’m sure it’ll be my turn soon enough” Ian chuckled, grabbing Mickey’s hand as he walked by his side now

Mickey looked down at their hands and smiled to himself, liking the public display of affection.

“Is it just as scary with a wig and a dress on?” Ian wondered, Mickey looked at him

“It feels the same. It’s not scary, it’s—it’s nice” Mickey admitted with a soft smile

Ian gave the same smile in return, leaning in to press a light kiss on his cheek. Mickey felt his entire body warm up from the kiss, becoming flustered.

“Alright, that’s enough” Mickey huffed, pulling away as they reached the automatic doors, making their way inside.

 

Mickey had no idea how overwhelming this would be. It had been so long he had been into a toy store, so long in fact that he found it hard to even find the memory, but it gave him a familiar feeling so he was sure he had been to one before. He probably blocked it out, like many of his childhood memories

The only good thing about coming this late at night meant it wasn’t so busy and that there weren’t screaming kids everywhere, which eased Mickey’s agitation just a little bit.

He probably would’ve felt more comfortable if he weren’t in a dress and heels either, but Ian was so adamant that he had to wear them from now until they got to Mandy’s.

They made their way to the Lego aisle, Ian’s brows knotting as Mickey started to look more and more constipated by the second.

“Why are you walking like that?” Ian questioned as they turned down the aisle

“These fuckin’ shoes man, my feet are aching” Mickey complained, biting his lip as he looked at the rows of Lego, feeling more overwhelmed by the options he had

“I can give you a foot rub tonight if you like” Ian offered kindly, not a hint of sarcasm in his tone

Mickey scoffed, looking at Ian as if he was taken back by that comment

“As-fucking-if you would”

Ian shrugged, “I don’t mind”

Impressed, Mickey smirked, "really?"

"really" Ian confirmed

“Alright, you’ve got yourself a deal”

“Okay, now focus on what we’re here for” Ian laughed, nodding to the shelves filled with Lego

“Why are there so many?” Mickey groaned, picking up the first one he saw, “Firetruck with firefighters?”

Ian pursed his lips, trying not to say anything

“Wait, wasn’t your ex a firefighter?”

“Yup” Ian replied, smacking his lips together

Suddenly disgusted, Mickey put it down with a heavy sigh, “there's too many fuckin’ choices”

“I know” Ian responded, looking at the age-appropriate options, “Why did you want to get Lego anyway?”

“I’m not sure” Mickey mumbled, “I thought once I was out of this mess, I could go visit and help him make it, you know?” He confessed, giving Ian with a vulnerable look

Despite the wig, Ian still managed to take him seriously as he wrapped an arm around his waist

“That sounds like a good idea” Ian encouraged with a smile before reaching for a simple box of Lego, “How about this one? You just have to build the car and driver”

Mickey took the box from Ian’s grip, looking at the stunt-truck on the front with the Lego driver who had a helmet before reading the details on the back of the box.

He honestly liked it, that child within him shining for a minute because it was something he would’ve loved when he was Yevgeny’s age.

“How much is it?” Mickey asked as Ian looked at the price

“eight dollars”

“Okay, I’ll get this one” Mickey decided, handing the box to Ian, “I’ll give you the cash, but you’ll have to pay for it”

Ian took it from him with a laugh, “Can’t put on a girly voice, huh?”

“Fuck no” Mickey snorted as the couple made their way to the counter.

 

Ian placed the Lego on the counter, Mickey’s wallet in his hand as the teenage girl behind the counter scanned it through with a bland ‘ _Hello, how are you?’_

Mickey waited close behind patiently, his eyes just curiously wandering around to see what was nearby before locking on a section of stuffed animals. He instantly made his way over without a second thought to grab the one that stood out to him and made him think about his son.

“That will be $7.99” The cashier informed Ian

Just as Ian went to pull out a ten-dollar bill, Mickey made his way over, putting a white and brown bunny rabbit stuffed animal on the counter. Ian and Mickey exchanged a look, Mickey eyeing him as if to say ‘ _get it_ ’

“That, too?” the girl wondered

“U-Uh yeah” Ian nodded before gasping slightly at how Mickey nudged him, “Oh, and can we have a giftbag? And a card, if you have one”

“Sure” the girl nodded with a soft smile, grabbing the giftbag and a card from under the counter, both with some generic pink and blue pattern with silver details.

She scanned the items before revealing the final total price.

“That’s $22.00”

Ian handed the cash over with a tip and with a thank you, she offered to put the gift together. Ian and Mickey watched as she took the prices off and delicately put the Bunny and Lego into the bag, leaving out the card so Mickey could write in it before tying up the bow that kept it closed.

“There you go” She handed it over with a smile

“Thank you so much, have a nice night” Ian said his goodbyes with a smiled as he took the bag, handing it to Mickey as they made their way out the door.

 

Once back in the car, Ian greeted Chico with a happy hello whilst Mickey sat, wig off his head now as he tried to figure out what to write in the card.

“What do you think I should say?” Mickey asked Ian who pulled away from the dog in the backseat to pay attention to his boyfriend

“I’m not sure—what would you like to say?” Ian questioned, trying to get Mickey’s thoughts going

Mickey bit his lip and looked down at the blank card, “There’s not much I can say, he’s a four-year-old”

“Then just say something about hoping to visit soon, Svetlana wouldn’t snitch, right?”

“Nah, doubt it” Mickey shrugged as he stared at the blank space, placing his pen down as he let his words flow

‘ _To Yevgeny,_

_I know gifts can’t make up for what I missed, but I wanted to send this and let you know that I have been thinking about you every day._

_I miss you, kid._

_Hopefully I can come by soon and we can build this together_

_Love ya,_

_From Mickey (dad) x’_

Mickey read over what he wrote a few times, deciding it was better to be simple before handing it to Ian so he could read it.

“What do you think?”

Ian grabbed it from him and read it, unable to fight the adoring smile on his face as he handed it back.

“Yeah, that’s good”

“Good, thanks man” Mickey muttered, placing the card into the envelope before opening the giftbag to place it inside and tying it back up.

Ian started the journey on his phone’s GPS before starting the car, taking a deep breath as he followed back onto the route. Excitement and nerves bubbled within both Mickey and Ian now.

Only four hours to go until they would be truly _home._

* * *

 

These hours seemed to be the slowest they had ever experienced despite how smooth the ride had been, they assumed it was the anticipation that made it feel so slow, but they were happy to be somewhere familiar in Illinois, getting further and further into suburban areas as they continued to make their way towards the city.

They truly didn’t feel an overwhelming sense of familiarity and homeliness until they saw the lights of skyscrapers between the fog of the night sky. It was that moment that they felt they had truly accomplished something, and that they were finally here. _Home_.

Mickey couldn’t believe how good it felt to enter the South Side, his eyes stung from how full his heart felt. He loved seeing the elevated tracks and hearing how the train rattled them as it sped through; he loved the abandoned places and graffitied walls; he loved the overgrown grass, the local stores that hadn’t been turned into _Starbucks’_ or _Yoga Studios_ , it was still the South Side—after over a year away from Chicago, he couldn’t believe how lucky he felt to be back.

He and Ian shared this moment together, pointing out small things that changed to them that people who weren’t locals would have no clue about before reminiscing over good—and the bad—times they shared in these certain places.

Then Ian turned onto Mickey’s old street and they all went quiet, even Chico who had been racing back and forth between each window of the backseat to see what his new home would be, but now he was silent, sensing that something serious was about to happen.

Ian pulled up in front of that house that held so many secrets and memories. It reminded Ian of André’s in a way, even though one was well-maintained and large whilst the Milkovich house was in shambles, it still had that ghostly feel to it. This place was a house, disguised as a home.

The only thing that made it home to Ian was when he lived there with Mickey, Svetlana, Yevgeny and Mickey’s siblings. Now it just seemed broken and cold, but the front yard seemed to have some work done. The grass was mowed and flowers were blooming—maybe Svetlana was trying to turn this house into a happy home so people would forget the horrors that happened inside?

It was a thought, anyway.

Mickey handed over the present without a word, Ian took it from his grip and the two exchanged a compassionate smile before Ian embraced the dark streets he knew all too well, getting out of the car and to inhale that special scent only south Chicago kids would find comforting.  

Walking out from under the light of the lamppost, Ian made his way across the road without hesitation, knowing he had to be quick about this.

As he reached the gate, he pushed it open carefully so it wouldn’t screech the way it typically did, closing it gently behind him as he embraced the worn out concrete steps to the front door.

Mickey watched from the car with anxiety, hoping this would go over easy so he wouldn’t have to see his son when he wasn’t ready yet, especially when he was still in the dress from earlier on in the night. It was just past midnight now, there was no way they could be awake, right?

Ian placed the gift on the doormat and braced himself, taking a deep breath as he lifted his fist, banging the door as he had half a million times before. He tried to fight the way his heart jumped into his throat as he made a run for it, opening the gate with less care as he ran across the road, approaching the car.

He jumped in, chest heaving as he released the handbrake, taking off down the street so they wouldn’t be seen.

“I think that went well” Ian huffed, “don’t you?”

Mickey watched over his shoulder, noticing the front door open. He caught a glimpse of Svetlana with their son on her hip before Ian turned a corner, snapping him out of his out-of-body state.

He didn’t realize just how much he truly missed home until he was back at that house again.

“Mick?” Ian raised with concern now, “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah” Mickey cleared his throat, “I saw Yevgeny for a second, he’s grown”

Ian smiled, reaching his hand over to hold Mickey’s

“I know, it’s alright” he assured, “it won’t be long till you get to see him again”

Mickey nodded, licking his bottom lip as he tried to contain his true emotions. At least they would be at Mandy’s soon, which hopefully meant a nice warm bed for Ian and Mickey to fall asleep in.

 

Ian pulled into an alleyway that wasn’t too far from Mandy’s place in inner Chicago, the pair feeling those nervous butterflies swirl their tummies as they basked in their accomplishments so far.

 _This was it_.

They didn’t waste time following their plan, Ian jumping out of the car to unpack the trunk whilst Mickey pulled on his wig and pulled on the heel boots he had begun to despise more with each step he took.

Mickey inhaled deeply, taking another moment to himself before looking to the backseat where Chico seemed excited and desperate to get out of this small car.

“This is your new home, bud” Mickey explained briefly, “hopefully you like it”

Chico scratched at Mickey’s chair as if to suggest he would love it no matter what, causing Mickey to smile before looking to the empty alley, feeling more than ready for the rest of this adventure.

He opened the air and felt that harsh Chicago air strike him like a tub of ice-water. It was incredibly chilly, making him regret his choices of wearing the dress as his skin instantly covered with goosebumps.

“Shit, I forgot how cold it gets here” Mickey shivered, making his way to the back of the car where Ian pulled their bags from the trunk onto the ground.

“You spent far too long in Mexico—here” Ian chuckled, shrugging off his coat and wrapping it around Mickey’s shoulders

“Thanks” Mickey smiled, the warmth and scent of Ian calming him instantly. He put the coat on properly before picking up his bag and the dog leash, making his way to get Chico out of the car.

 

They gathered their things, making sure they took out everything, even the crap that wasn’t theirs to begin with, before ripping off the number plates and throwing them into a nearby dumpster with the keys as they headed down the few blocks to Mandy’s apartment.

Ian and Mickey acted as natural as possible, arms linked together as Mickey kept Chico’s leash around his wrist, his hands being occupied by his box of memories as his heels continued to click-clack against the pavement.

Chico was beyond excited for this walk whilst Mickey’s feet seemed to weep.

“How far is it?” Mickey began to complain, but Ian was quick to assure him

“We’re here” he nodded to the building they were walked by, turning to walk through the revolving doors into the apartment complex that wasn’t as lively as the last time Ian was here—all the small stores and café were shut this time, but the heating felt nice, and they were sure it’d be even more warm in Mandy’s apartment.

Ian put down the duffle in his hand, buzzing Mandy’s room on the intercom. He began shuffling his feet as he became impatient, just wanting to kick his legs up and relax after that 24-hour drive.

“Hello?” Mandy responded

Just the sound of her voice brought ease to Ian and Mickey

“We’re here” Ian sung, nearly making Mandy squeal

“Holy shit! Come up!” she replied, allowing them through the doors to the elevators.

 

Ian, Mickey and Chico got to Mandy’s floor and they nearly ran through the corridor to her door, but held back considering Mickey would likely trip and break something.

Before they had even reached her place, the door opened abruptly, Mandy and Lip both jumping out to say hello.

“You’re here!” Lip cheered as they approached

“Hey, man” Ian chuckled, the two sharing a bro-hug before Lip offered to take the bag from his hand and the two started a conversation about the drive home.

Mandy nearly teared up at the sight of her brother, but only a smile shined through at the humor of Mickey in a wig and a dress.  

“You look like Aunty Dix before the botched surgery” She poked fun, her brother shaking his head but unable to fight his grin

“Shut the fuck up” Mickey laughed, placing the box he held on the ground so he could give his baby sister a tight squeeze, lifting her off the ground as she wrapped her arms around him, “Fuck, I missed you”

“I missed you, too” Mandy muttered with a sniff before pulling away, looking down at the chocolate Labrador that nudged at her leg, “You must be Chico!”

The blonde Milkovich crouched onto the ground to give an affectionate hello, taking the leash from Mickey so he could pick up the box he had left on the ground. Lip joined Mandy to welcome the loveable pup before standing back up to finally greet Mickey.

“You look good” Lip spoke with a joking smirk, “love what you’ve done to your hair”

“You’re a dick” Mickey managed to laugh, “You going to let us in or what?”

“Yeah!” Lip moved to the side, “Just put your shit wherever, we’ll sort the spare room later”

Ian scoffed as he made his way inside, “You had an entire day to sort it”

“We’ve been busy” Lip claimed, following his brother

“Oh yeah?” Mickey interjected, brows raised, “Doing what?”

“Your sister” Lip snickered, Mickey instantly gave him a playfully glaring look as Mandy made her way inside, not at all aware of what her boyfriend had just told her big brother.

 

Ian and Mickey quickly made themselves comfortable, taking their things into the spare room where Jasper, Mandy’s ginger cat, slept peacefully despite the canine in the next room. They both gently patted the sweet kitty hello before changing into their track-pants and sweaters.

Mickey was more than happy to finally have those shoes off his feet, but was more excited to finally be in a nice, warm place that he could call home.

The Gallagher’s and Milkoviches lounged together in the living room, enjoying some snacks as they just caught up with what was going on in each other’s lives. Lip enjoyed a cola, whilst Ian and Mickey had the only two beers Mandy had left in the fridge.

Mandy walked away mid conversation to walk out of her bedroom with a bong and a small container filled with what was presumed to be weed, surprising both her brother and best friend.

“Thought you might need this after the long trip” She offered, Mickey putting down his beer as he reached for it, instantly wanting a hit.

“Holy shit, thank you” Mickey mumbled, reaching for a lighter on the table

“Thanks, Mands” Ian laughed, “the drive was a bit draining”

“No problem” she smiled, sitting down at the end of the coffee table where Chico laid so she could pat him, “Help me pick something to watch?”

Ian gladly helped whilst Lip inhaled the last of the cigarette he had in his mouth, putting it out in the ashtray before holding his hand out to Mickey so he could have a hit.

Mickey suggested a movie to Mandy and Ian broke himself from the conversation, not wanting to get in the middle of it. He waited for Lip to be done with his hit so Ian could have one of his own.

“Hand it here” Ian pestered, and Lip did exactly so as he exhaled, his attention brought to the Milkovich siblings now

“What movie are we watching?” Lip wondered

“ _Dude, Where’s My Car?_ ” Mickey smirked, Lip gave a tight smile with a nod, impressed

“Good choice”

Ian pulled away from the bong, exhaling the smoke from his lungs before handing it to Mandy, his mind now fueling with curiosity.

“So, what’s the plan?” Ian asked his brother who was now sipping his drink

He placed it down and swallowed as he put the words together in his head.

“Well, the whole idea is a retrial, right? So, I called Fiona’s lawyer because although he only deals with family cases, I thought this kind of is a family case, but he said he had no experience in a big criminal case before—”

“Shit” Ian interrupted, Lip quickly cut him off

“I’m not finished” he paused to get everyone’s attention, “He told me he has a cousin, Alfonso Encarnacion who is also a lawyer, he deals with these cases. But we aren’t up to that yet. First thing tomorrow, you have to move back home”

Ian felt slight sadness at that fact, but he nodded along, feeling Mickey’s eyes on him that shared the exact same emotion. They were missing each other already.

“We have to get your life back to how it was before you left” Lip continued, “go back to work, get back into normal ways of life—you’ll have to act as if this Mexico shit never happened, which I know was already the plan”

“Yep, so is that it?” Ian wondered, Lip shook his head

“No, no. Tomorrow we’ll meet with Joaquin. I looked through the transcripts of the original court case and to me something just didn’t feel right. Knowing Sammi, probably got down to dirty shit since she asked the judge to go off the record in his office”

Both Ian and Mickey had a look of disgust on their face just hearing that name.

“You’re right, she did disappear for a while” Mickey added, Lip nodded as if to agree

“So you think she what?” Ian began, “Paid him? Fucked him?”

“Who knows, that’s why we need Joaquin. He already agreed. He’s going to hack into the security footage and see what happened in that room”

“Holy shit” Ian huffed, his mind wrapping around the plan with ease, “then what’s after that?”

“Either way, we’ll meet with that lawyer and get shit started—seeing as this is a popular case he might even do it pro-bono, but we’ll see”

Pleased with the plan so far, Ian and Mickey took a moment to share a look of complete and utter confidence. They were ready, with little to no doubts clouding their minds so far.

“Mickey, there’s no way you could lose” Lip assured, catching the older Milkoviches attention, “everything about it, even without footage, was unethical and wrong. We’ll fix this”

Mickey nodded, finding complete trust in this ‘ _team_ ’ they had managed to create

“I know”

Mandy interrupted now, “Even if we didn’t, we have backup plans”

“Yeah” Lip confirmed, “but I won’t dive into that yet, we need to take it one step at a time”

“Good idea” Ian agreed with a sigh, “I think I need another hit”

“here you go” Mandy offered, holding it out

Ian took it and fired up another hit as Lip stood up, asking for Ian and Mickey to shuffle over so he could sit on the couch and enjoy the movie, with Mandy eventually joining them on the couch, too.

Sure, it was a bit squishy, but both couples enjoyed their time together, comfortable and snuggled up as they laughed, smoked and snacked. It felt like they were back in high school, but this time they felt so much more free and so sure of where they belonged.

And where they belonged was here, on this couch, surrounded by nothing but love and happiness, not a care in the world since their current state of mind didn’t allow them to be.

But Ian couldn’t stop thinking about what tomorrow would bring, and all the days after that. He wasn’t worried, and was quite optimistic, it was just the nerves of approaching a big case like this that scared him the most.

He knew it wouldn’t fail, he just wasn’t sure what to expect during all of this.

How far would this escalate, would this become something bigger than it’s supposed to be?

As always, it was the unknown that frightened Ian, but he was lucky the weed and alcohol seemed to keep him calm and centered here in the current moment, otherwise he’d probably get no sleep tonight.

Shaking the thoughts for now, he remembered that this would be one of the last nights for a while where he got to hold Mickey in his arms, so he tightened his grip, pressing his nose into that raven hair to inhale the scent that was so _Mickey_ , whilst Mickey traced circles up and down Ian’s arm, admiring the light ginger hair among it.

They were happy here, together, joined with their closest family.

If only it could be this way forever, but tomorrow, the war would begin.


	27. Chapter 27

Unlike the snow that had melted away, that baby blue house had not changed a bit, filling Ian’s heart with nostalgia and comfort despite how badly he didn’t want to be here. He looked at that house through the passenger seat window of Mandy’s car with the need to make Lip turn around so he could go back to bed with Mickey for just a little while longer.

How was he supposed to pretend as if the past three months didn’t happen? How could he pretend that he never left the country to fight for the love of his life? How could he pretend there wasn’t a riot in his head, ready to tear the world apart just to keep Mickey by his side?

How was he going to stand living in a house acting as if he never left whilst Mickey sat in Mandy’s apartment, unable to leave?

This would be hard, and it was already tugging at Ian’s heart that after so long of being with Mickey everyday, he’d have to wake up and fall asleep without him, unsure of when he’d be with him again.

“Ready to go in?” Lip asked, shaking Ian from his deep state of thought

“Yeah” Ian smiled apathetically

They had made it to the Gallagher house just in time for breakfast so it’d seem like Ian had been travelling all night and that Lip had picked him up. Ian hated saying goodbye to Mickey this morning, peppering millions of kisses all over his sleepy face before he embarked on the short ride home, but _home_ wasn’t truly a _home_ without Mickey.

What kept Ian sane was the fact that Mickey was only 20 minutes away, and not 36 hours away in another country like before.

Ian and Lip got out of Mandy’s Jeep, Lip heading to the door whilst Ian threw his backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his duffle. He wasn’t sure what to expect once he got inside because whilst three months doesn’t seem that long, anything could happen to the Gallagher’s in that short amount of time; what Ian had gone through was enough to prove that.

Lip waited for Ian to catch up to him so he could lock the car, patting his shoulder as if he understood how challenging this whole endeavor had been as he walked him up the steps to the front door.

Like most mornings, the door was open, causing Lip to just make his way in without a knock, Ian close behind. He almost felt foreign in his own house, like nothing yet everything had changed.

All he could smell was fresh toast, coffee and that homely smell that you could only describe by saying _it’s home_. He continued to stumble close behind Lip through the living room that hadn’t seem to change besides a cushion or two. 

“Anyone home!?” Lip called out as he made his way through the living room to the kitchen

Fiona poked her head around from the fridge, her eyes wide and bright with shock as she slammed the refrigerator door.

“You’re here!” she cheered, placing the butter onto the countertop before making her way past Lip to give her baby brother a tight hug

“Yeah” Ian chuckled, dropping his bag so he could hug her back, pressing his nose into her sweater as he felt that maternal comfort he had dearly missed, “I’m home”

Fiona pulled away with a tight smile, tucking her hair behind her ears as she took a moment to just take in her brother’s presence.

“You should’ve told me you on the way, I would’ve made waffles or something” she scolded, making her way towards the kitchen where Lip was already helping himself to a cup of coffee

“Ah, it’s fine” Ian admitted, “after all the heavy carbs I’ve eaten in the past 24 hours, toast sounds perfect”

“Okay, well there’s always cereal if you want somethin’ else” she offered with a smile

“thanks” Ian responded as he entered the kitchen, smiling wide at the sight of his little brother eating his breakfast, “Liam!” 

The baby Gallagher lifted his head with a beaming grin, getting down from the chair to greet Ian’s open arms.

“I missed you!” Ian declared, bending down to squeeze Liam and press a kiss to his cheek

“I missed you too” Liam replied softly as he pulled away before pointing at the fridge and pulling at Ian’s flannel, “look!”

Ian looked over at the fridge with a smile, noticing the picture Liam had drawn of the family, including Frank with a bottle in hand.

“Did you do that?” Ian questioned, to which Liam nodded

Ian reached his hand out to hold the paper, smiling at the details he put into it. Liam had drawn his hair with spikes, colored orange and two green dots representing his eyes. He even gave Ian some freckles despite how faint they were now.

“I love it” Ian told Liam with encouragement before Fiona interrupted

“Liam, come finish your breakfast or you’ll be late for school!”

Liam instantly went back to the table as Ian stood up, grabbing himself a cup of coffee as Lip went to take a seat with his coffee and toast.

“Hey, Fi, if you want me to take him today I can” he offered, “looks like you’re neck deep in paperwork”

Ian helped himself to a cup of coffee, taking notice of the pile of paper on top of a laptop that sat next to Fiona’s plate.

“Thanks Lip, that’d be great” she sighed, “a tenant is late on rent and I’m getting complaints about them from neighbors”

“Gonna kick ‘em out?” Lip wondered, biting into his toast

Fiona shrugged, sipping her coffee, “only if I have to”

As Ian placed two pieces of bread into the toaster, he couldn’t help but analyze how silent this house had become in his absence. Mornings were typically filled with chatter, laughter or arguments, and right now it was dead silent and civil, as if the three people at the dining table were all too consumed by their own thoughts to discuss anything to one another.

“Jesus, what died?” Ian huffed, gaining the attention of his siblings

“What do you mean?” Lip wondered, brows furrowed

“Everything’s so quiet”

Fiona turned to her brother, “well—”

That was when footsteps came stomping down into the stair into the kitchen, everyone’s eyes on their narcissistic father who made his way into the kitchen with a prideful grin.

“Don’t speak so soon” Lip muttered with a laugh as Frank greeted the redhead son he usually ignored

“Ian!” He beamed, “Welcome home, mi hijo!”

Ian’s face twisted with a look of disgust, trying to back away as his father wrapped his arms around him, that stench of dog piss and body odor made him hold his breath.

“You’re still alive?” Ian choked, not allowing his hands to touch the dirty man

Frank laughed, pulling away, “Of course I am!”

Ian’s toast popped out from the toaster and Frank helped himself to it, causing Ian’s eyes to roll.

“Just ignore him, Ian” Fiona informed

“I know” Ian sighed, just helping himself to put another two slices of bread in the toaster whilst frank buttered the pieces that were meant to be Ian’s

“Well I gotta head to work” Frank excused, making his way to the back door, “See you!”

“Jesus fucking Christ” Ian mumbled as the door closed behind their degenerate father, “what’s with him?”

“He’s going through one of those ‘ _trying to be a decent dad_ ’ phases again” Fiona explained with a laugh

“It’s only been a day” Lip added, “he’ll be back to normal by tomorrow”

Ian huffed, “typical Frank”

The siblings broke the silence with smiles and soft laughter before Lip glanced at the clock, feeling his heart jump at how quick time seemed to pass.

“Shit, go get your bag Liam we gotta go!”

He jumped up, his half-eaten toast hanging out of his mouth as he took their plates to the sink, Liam running straight past Ian and Fiona with a quick ‘ _Bye!_ ’ as he grabbed his bagged lunch and backpack, heading to the car.

The toast popped up and Ian helped himself as Lip took a bite from his piece.

“Meet up later, ‘kay?” Lip told Ian who nodded

“Yep, meet you there” Ian replied, buttering his toast. He honestly wasn’t even that hungry.

Lip made his way out, leaving Ian and Fiona alone. The silence weighed that sadness of missing Mickey upon his shoulders, but it reminded him about how the last time he was home, he was more than miserable over leaving Mickey behind and was about to embark on the adventure to go find him.

He couldn’t lie, he was kind of proud of how much he had achieved since then.

Ian made his way over to where Liam once sat at the end of the table, his big sister’s brows in their natural furrowed state as she shook her head, writing on her papers with her right hand as she mindlessly ate with her left.

He took a seat and awkwardly cleared his throat as he placed his mug and plate down. Fiona still didn’t bother to look at him and he couldn’t help but wonder what was in that pile of paperwork that was more important than her own brother. He noticed the laptop under the pile of papers wasn’t the old bulky one they had used for years, but a new one.

Ian reached his hand over and lifted the paperwork, gaining her attention as he approved of the new laptop.

“MacBook, huh? You must be rollin’” he joked

“Yeah, feels nice to have my own laptop. You can borrow it if you want to. I also got a new iPhone, the one Jimmy got me was shitting itself all the time”

Ian nodded, taking a bite of his toast, “well deserved”

Fiona smiled fondly, looking down at the paperwork for a moment before placing her pen down, deciding Ian was more important right now.

“I’m sorry it’s so quiet. That’s just how it’s been lately” she explained, “Lip’s usually at Mandy’s, you were away, Carl’s at Military school but will be back soon for summer and Debbie is still living with Neil”

“Don’t be sorry” Ian mumbled with his mouth full, “So just you and Liam most nights?”

“Yeah, it’s weird” she laughed before placing a hand on Ian’s stubbly cheek, “But it’s nice to have you home”

Ian smiled, swallowing his food, “It’s good to be home”

“How was your trip, anyway? Bring any souvenirs?”

_Oh, fuck._

“Uh, shit. I was so focused on Carl because he asked me to bring a shirt I didn’t think about anything else—but yeah, the trip was good, I was drunk a lot of the time”

Fiona grinned, “meet any hot California boys?”

Ian had to grin, his mind thinking about Daniel, “Yeah, nothin’ serious though. I didn’t have time for chit-chat”

His sister nodded, the two sipping their coffee as Fiona brought up another topic

“By the way, Trevor stopped by the other day...I thought you two broke up?”

Ian’s facial expression dropped, “we did" he replied, "What did he want?”

“You, I think” Fiona huffed, “I didn’t tell him where you were, just said you weren’t around lately”

“Good” Ian nodded, “he wouldn’t stop calling and texting me the other day, it had been months since we even talked”

“Jesus, always stay away from those guys” Fiona advised, “did you get him to back off?”

“Yeah” Ian assured with a smile, “basically said _Fuck off, I’ve moved on_ ”

Fiona gave a tight, approving smile, “well done”

Ian just nodded, tucking back into his food as Fiona finished hers off.

“So, when do you go back to work?” Fiona wondered, sliding her tongue along her teeth

_Shit_

“I-I’m not sure yet” Ian stammered, pulling his phone out of his pocket, “I guess I have to wait for the schedule to come through”

It was a lie, but it worked.

“Oh, okay” Fiona replied simply

Ian suddenly stood up, needing to excuse himself

“I think I’ll go take a shower and go have a nap, I need it after that ride home” he announced, taking his plates to the sink

“Alright, are you feeling okay?” Fiona began to worry, watching her brother escape the room rather abruptly

“Yeah, just need to relax” Ian explained briefly, grabbing his bags as he made his way up the steps

“Okay—well you can sleep in my bed if you want, I’m heading out soon”

“Okay!” Ian responded, looking at his phone as he pulled up his boss’ number with a deep breath.

 

He locked himself in the bathroom and started the shower so Fiona wouldn’t hear him talking. Ian had almost completely forgotten that he had to go back to work, otherwise he couldn’t afford to live here—not like he wanted to live here anyway.

Ian wasn’t so nervous about asking for his job back, but he was nervous for tonight where he would find out with Lip and Joaquin what happened with Sammi and the Judge off the record. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to nap knowing what possibilities were out there.

It started to take him back to the day of Mickey’s sentencing, and he wished it didn’t, because it was painful for him, and especially for Mickey.

* * *

 

_ Cook County Criminal Court, Mickey’s sentencing, 2015  _

There was this sick feeling in Ian’s tummy. His eyes couldn’t help but feel dry and heavy in his skull as he made his way into that courtroom.

 _There was no way Mickey did it, right?_ He wondered to himself, _I guess I’d find out_

Ian honestly didn’t want to be here, but he knew Mickey would want him to be. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for leaving him, not that it would’ve changed anything now, but he knew everything about this was his fault.

Mickey deserved better, and it was exactly what would happen in this courtroom that made him realize that. All of this was over Ian, and he didn’t want to hurt Mickey anymore, he swore after today, no matter the ruling, he would be done.

He would break himself away from Mickey and not for himself, but for the sake of Mickey’s wellbeing.

Ian slid into one of the pews, Debbie sitting next to him with a comforting smile. He wasn’t sure why Debbie wanted to join, maybe it was because Ian’s depression was still heavy and he was only just easing into the idea of taking medication, but he wasn't so sure. He couldn’t help but notice a look in Debbie’s eye, one that said _‘I’m sorry,’_ but what could she possibly be sorry for? She told the cops she wasn’t there that night, and Mickey confirmed that.

This whole thing seemed like a mess and all Ian wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob from that ache in his chest. He shouldn’t be here, and he wasn’t sure he’d make it to the end of the hearing.

He wasn’t sure he could handle the idea of the Judge sentencing Mickey to prison, because all Ian wanted was for Mickey to be free, and if this hearing ended in the way Ian feared, he knew it’d be his fault.

How could he live with himself knowing that the love of his life would be in prison because of him?

 

Once everyone was prepared and they went over basic procedures, the court was in session. Ian tried to avoid how nervous he felt, knowing Mickey was probably more anxious than he was.

Officers brought out the alleged criminals one by one; First was Sammi, who came out in beige prison uniform with two guards by her sides. Despite her hands being cuffed, she looked around the room pridefully, as if Ian didn’t make the statement saying that _She_ was the one who chased Mickey with a gun.

Ian couldn’t help but feel his blood boil just looking at that narcissistic woman whose roots were in desperate need of dyeing. She looked like a piece of shit and was a piece of shit. Even if Mickey did try and kill her, there’s no denying that fact.

Then, there he was. Mickey- _fucking-_ Milkovich, Ian felt his heart-rate rise despite how it sunk in his chest. Mickey didn’t even seem to care where he was or what he had done, his eyes darting around the room, searching and locking onto Ian.

Ian just felt his heart sink further as Mickey’s face lit up with a smile. How could a smile that once made Ian light up with joy, now make him hate himself?

Maybe it was because he did hate himself. He had no idea who he was or who he wanted to be, he just existed and somehow that seemed to be enough for Mickey. Ian just couldn’t understand it.

He made the effort to give a soft smile back, his hands entwining his fingers as he leaned on his knees. His eyes never left Mickey, so sure that this would probably be the last time he saw him for a while.

 

Ian could hardly pay attention or hear what was said in the courtroom, but Mickey seemed to behave himself as they weighed up the evidence and non-factors.

It was beginning to seem as if Mickey would come out of this not-guilty since nothing added up. There was no proof that Mickey had drugged Sammi, or that he was the one to put her in the shipping crate. The only thing that suggested he did it was the fact that he and Sammi were the only ones home the night the incident occurred—but otherwise, everything seemed good.

Ian couldn’t see Mickey’s face but he was sure he looked hopeful, whilst he could see Sammi’s face and the agitation within her as she anxiously wriggled in her seat. She had no hope. Things were starting to look more than good, and for once, Ian was starting to feel good, too.

Until someone objectified.

“Your honor” Sammi raised, her lawyer falling into shock as he looked up at Sammi, “may I object?”

The graying judge sighed, looking in Sammi’s direction

“Sustained” he simply told the court

“Thank you” she began to stammer, “Mr. Milkovich i-is a known criminal and abuser of illicit substances and he abuses his family! He’s hit his lover Ian Gallagher on multiple occasions—”

“What the fuck!?” Mickey shouted exactly what Ian was thinking

_Abuse? What the fuck was she on about?_

The Judge pounded the gavel, “Mr. Milkovich, please”

Mickey’s lawyer stepped up, “I’m sorry on behalf of Mr. Milkovich, your honor, but his past has no relation to this case”

The Judge gave a distasteful look, lowering his glasses to his nose as he gazed upon Mickey.

“overruled” he announced, not believing that to be true before looking back to Sammi, “If you wish to discuss off the record, Ms. Slott, we may”

“Y-Yes your honor” Sammi’s screechy voice nearly begged, “This isn’t the first time he’s come for me”

Ian furrowed his brows, looking at Debbie who met with his stare.

“This isn’t right, is it? Mickey isn't like this” she whispered, Ian nodded, placing a hand on his baby sisters knee

“No, don’t think so” he sighed, “Hopefully it works out”

Debbie swallowed the lump in her throat as the court was adjourned so Sammi could speak to the Judge off the record. Both she and Ian felt physically sick—Debbie probably felt sick for a different reason—but Ian could feel that unlucky streak Mickey and Ian seemed to have strike once more.

And he wasn’t sure he could stick around and watch.

Mickey looked back at Ian and could tell the dark circles under his eyes reflected what he felt inside. He could feel Ian’s disappointment, and that ached him more than the idea of spending 15 years in prison.

“I thought you said we’d get out of this fine” Mickey muttered to his now pedantic lawyer who flipped through her paperwork

“We should. I can’t see why we can’t win, the odds are in your favor, Mickey”

“Fuck” Mickey huffed, shaking his head, “I’m screwed”

“There hasn’t been a sentence yet, okay?” the lawyer assured, “I’ll try my best”

“Your fresh outta law school but yeah, you can try”

His lawyer breathed a sigh as if she couldn’t believe this was happening

“I need a smoke”

“Yeah, you and me both”

 

It took about 15 minutes for the Judge and Sammi to emerge back into the courtroom, and they instantly got back into the hearing.

“After a discussion with Ms. Slott about the situation between her and Mr. Milkovich, I believe there is evidence to prove he is guilty of attempted murder—”

Mickey’s lawyer instantly came to defense, “Your honor—”

“Overruled!” he told

Sammi’s lawyer stood up as if to gain momentum on Sammi’s behalf, and it was that moment Ian began to tune out. He didn’t want to hear the final verdict anymore.

So, he stood up, making his way out from the pews with Debbie stumbling close behind, her hand gripping onto Ian’s wrist and she begged for an answer as to what he was doing, but Ian didn’t even want to speak. It was all too much for him to take.

Mickey turned around once again, hoping that maybe Ian would still want him even when once became a convicted felon, but there he was, walking away without even thinking to look back.

As much as that pained his heart, he couldn’t help but hold onto that hope that maybe Ian would wait 15 years to see him again. Just maybe.

“—Mr. Milkovich” the Judge spoke, breaking Mickey from his daze, “Do you have any objections you’d like to make before the final verdict”

Swallowing his ache, he looked up to the judge with a prideful yet distasteful smile

“Yeah” he nodded, “Go fuck yourself”

Those were the last words Ian heard as the door closed behind him.

 

Ian nearly raced down the hallway of the Criminal Court, Debbie’s voice slowly fading back into view as he started to calm down.

“Ian!” She seemed to plead, pulling at his arm hard so he would look at her

Ian stopped and avoided eye contact, feeling his vision blur as his chest seemed to somehow crush within his own body

“What’s wrong? Why did you walk out?” she wondered

“Didn’t you hear them, debs?” he choked, holding back his tears, “did any of that sound good to you?”

Unable to find a response, the redheaded girl just nodded, still giving her brother that _sorry_ look. Ian shook his head, leaning against the wall of the hallway.

“15 years…” he exhaled as if he couldn’t believe it

“I’m sorry, Ian” Debbie choked now

Ian looked at her, noticing the single tear now falling down her freckled cheek. He furrowed his brows, instantly dismissing his own problems as he wiped it away.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked, confused

“No reason” she sighed as if she didn’t want to say, “I just feel guilty for some reason”

“Don’t, Debs” Ian assured with a sad smile, “it’s not your problem”

Debbie bit her bottom lip hard as her eyes glued to the floor now, exhaling a shaky breath,

“But you love him so much…”

Those words continued to crush Ian in a way he couldn’t even explain, but he tried not to let his true emotions show and wrapped his arm around his little sister’s shoulders, beginning to guide her out of the building.

“I-I know, but I wasn’t going to get back with him” Ian admitted, Debbie looked up at him, her brown eyes more than confused by the statement

“But, why?”

He huffed, “no one wants to love a suicidal maniac, trust me. Saw it with Frank and Monica, I don’t want that for Mickey—I don’t want that for anyone”

Debbie found herself unable to answer that, keeping quiet as she held the large hand that rested on her shoulder as they made their way outside.

She decided to Google what the outcome of the court case was when she got home, but as of right now, she was more focused on making sure Ian took his medication and had a decent nap before he went to work at Patsy’s tonight to bus tables.

None of this was fair, and that guilty feeling within Debbie wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon.

Not if she continued to keep these dirty little secrets to herself.

 

* * *

 

_ Chicago Polytechnic College, Chicago, Illinois _

“Hey guys, brought the dinner you ordered from Patsy’s” Ian announced as he walked through the front door of Joaquin’s dorm room with two paper bags in his hand

Joaquin and Lip both jumped at the sight of Ian, clearly on edge from their possibly illegal hacking scheme

“Shit, dude” Lip sighed, getting up from Joaquin’s bed to grab the bags from Ian, “Knock next time”

“Sorry” Ian had to laugh, “didn’t really have the hands to do so”

Lip just hummed, jumping back onto the bed, “well, thanks”

“No problem” Ian sighed before greeting, “hey Joaquin”

 “Hey man” he nodded, focusing on the laptop he sat in front of on the bed whilst Lip pulled the food from the bag, “Just make yourself comfortable, my roommate won’t be back for hours”

“Cool” Ian shrugged, jumping onto the single bed across from Joaquin’s as he settled in.

The last time he was here, he was a janitor with no purpose in life, and now he was an EMT fighting for his future. But that didn’t stop him from feeling so out of place when seated in a room with two men smarter than he’ll ever be.

“Did you get yourself something?” Lip wondered as Joaquin continued to tap away at the keyboard

“Nah, ate before I came here” he told him with a smile, “so how’s it coming along?”

Joaquin interjected now, “almost in, just gotta wait it to load. I’ve done my part”

He moved the laptop away to grab the burger Lip held out to him, Ian just played with his thumbs mindlessly.

“Thanks for doing this, by the way”

“Ah, don’t sweat it” Joaquin shrugged it off, “Lip’s made me do things that are like climbing Mt. Everest compared to this”

Ian laughed at the joke, trying to think of ways to keep up conversation as the two intelligent men tucked into their meal.

“So, Joaquin, that’s Spanish, right?”

“Yeah” Joaquin mumbled with his mouth full

“Do you speak it?” Ian wondered, Joaquin swallowed

“Nah, my parents do but I never bothered to learn it. I can understand though”

“Right” Ian nodded, unsure where to take the conversation from there.

A part of him just wanted to keep a conversation rolling so he could take his mind off how badly he was missing Mickey. It was so weird without him and he couldn't help but wonder what he was doing and how he was feeling. He hoped being locked in an apartment wasn't starting affecting him in a negative way and that he was somewhat happy, distracted from the reality of the situation.

Ian thought this would be easy after how many times they’ve been apart, but it wasn’t. Somehow, it was harder.

He looked over to Lip as he continued to think about Mickey. He twiddled his thumbs and bit his lip as he tried not to risk being more annoying than he already felt by asking the only question on his mind, but he just had to know.

“How is he?” Ian asked his brother hesitantly, Lip gulped down his food and wiped his mouth, sensing Ian’s insecurity

“Fine” he assured, “I just got off the phone with Mandy before and he’s mostly just sitting on the couch playing video games. He seems to love the cat, and Mandy wanted you to know that Chico loves Jasper, too”

Hearing that brought a smile to Ian’s face, it made his heart feel warm knowing that Mickey and Chico were both comfortable.

“And Jasper?”

“He likes the dog, surprisingly” Lip laughed, biting into his burger

Joaquin felt the need to speak up now, “I can’t believe your boyfriend broke out of prison”

“Yeah, me either” Ian huffed before Lip spoke up

“Fair enough though, his trial was bullshit. Even if it was true, there’s no evidence”

Suddenly, Joaquin noticed something on the computer that caused him to pull it onto his lap.

“What—” Lip began but was quickly cut off

“We’re in!” The hacker cheered with his mouth full

Ian’s eyes went wide and Joaquin waved him to come over, Lip shuffled over to make room on the bed for Ian as they stared at the screen that just showed thousands of timestamps.

“When was the trial?” Joaquin wondered

“U-Uh…” Ian tried to remember, but luckily for him, Lip was resourceful

“3rd of July, 2015; 11:00am”

“Got it”

Joaquin did his thing, finding the correct file and opening it, all that could be seen on the black and white footage so far was nothing but a big leather chair behind a cluttered desk.

“How long into the trial did they go into the room?” Lip asked his brother who shrugged

“I don’t know, 30 or 40 minutes?”

With a nod, Joaquin went through the files to a clip that was near to Ian’s assumed time and the three men in the room fell silent, watching the screen and forgetting to blink as they anticipated Sammi’s entrance.

Then there it was, all three men held their breath now as they entered the room. The Judge consoled Sammi with a rub on the back before offering her a seat. Even though the clip had no sound, you could hear Sammi’s crocodile tears as she sobbed into her hands.

Ian couldn’t believe what he was seeing as Lip furrowed his brows, finding it strange that the officers didn’t enter the room with them, and that Sammi and the Judge were left alone.

None of it added up.

Then it did, Sammi diving under the desk and giving the Judge what seemed to be the best blowjob of his life.

Ian’s stomach nearly flipped over itself, the sight of the grey man’s ‘ _o_ ’ face plus the stench of the greasy food was beginning to make him feel sick.

“I can’t fucking believe it” Joaquin muttered, “you were right”

“Yeah…” Lip’s voice came out a whisper

They continued to watch despite how wrong it was, Ian slowly feeling fire blaze through him as his eyes glazed over. How dare this bitch ruin Mickey's life.

He was beyond furious, a distasteful look on his face as he shook his head.

Just as suspected; Sammi was a slimy bitch.

And now, it was time to make her pay.


	28. Chapter 28

It felt strange to wake up in a place you weren’t used to, Mickey could’ve sworn he was with Ian at the Gallagher house for a minute—maybe he was there in his dream that was now quickly fading from memory—but at least he felt comfortable, thanks to the hospitality Mandy managed to provide.

As Mickey found himself wide awake, he sighed and rolled onto his side, unable to help the sadness in his chest.

_Ian_

He wasn’t here beside him like he had been the morning before, all Mickey wanted right now was to stay in bed with him again for just that little while longer.

This sucked, he forgot how it felt to miss that fiery redhead. Ian truly had made his mark on Mickey, but he was sure Ian probably felt the same about him.

Slowly running his hand under the covers to the cold side of the mattress where Ian belonged, he hoped that whatever Ian was going through today, that he was alright and that everything was working out.

 _Fuck, this is pathetic,_ he huffed to himself, _I must really fuckin’ love him._

Never in a million years did Mickey picture himself to be so consumed by a partner, especially Ian Gallagher. Yet here he was, missing him more than he ever thought imaginable.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he noticed Chico taking up majority of the space on the end of the bed. Mickey was thankful Chico was here for him at least, helping him feel comforted despite the cold side of the mattress that was empty compared to yesterday morning.

Was it even morning anymore? Mickey wasn’t sure, considering how late he fell asleep last night.

Mickey gave the sleeping dog a soft pat on the head before pulling the blankets off and getting out of the bed. He tried to look for his hoodie but couldn’t seem to find it, a smile growing on his face as he realized Ian must’ve taken it, but he was okay with that. He put on a sweater instead and rolled up the sleeves as he made his way out the door.

Mickey walked into the room and saw Mandy with her headphones in, listening to music as she sat at the kitchen counter, her head burrowed in a heap of homework.

Feeling playful, he smirked and crept his way slowly and quietly, trying to make sure Mandy wouldn’t notice him. Mickey bit his lip to hide back his chuckle, the music Mandy listened too played unnecessarily loud as he got close enough, poking at her waist hard enough to make her jump.

“Shit!” She screamed with fright as she turned to Mickey who was now in a fit of laughter, ripping her earphones out, “You’re a fucking prick!”

“Good morning to you too, sis” Mickey grinned as he calmed down from his laughter, walking over to the fridge now.

“More like afternoon” she scoffed

“What?” Mickey wondered, confused as he turned to Mandy, “What time is it?”

 Mandy quickly glanced at her phone, “about 11:30”

“Shit, why didn’t you wake me?” Mickey sighed, helping himself to raid the fridge

“Because I didn’t hear you go to bed till early this mornin’” she explained, “there’s toaster waffles in the freezer, by the way”

Mickey just listened, not responding as he opened the freezer to retrieve the toaster waffles. He helped himself to whatever he needed, feeling right at home as he put the waffles in the toaster and pushed down the lever.

He wasn’t sure what to say that could distract his mind as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He just couldn’t erase his worried thoughts, thinking about what Ian and Lip had planned today. He hoped Ian could handle it, whatever _it_ was going to be.

Staring blankly into space as he thought, he took a sip of his coffee and suddenly came back to life, his nose screwing up at how bad the coffee tasted.

That was probably the only thing he missed about Mexico now, the coffee.

“Ian and Lip are meeting with the lawyer today” Mandy informed as if she knew that was the reason for Mickey’s silence.

“Oh yeah?” Mickey responded casually

“Yeah, I think they’ll be coming over later to tell us what’s happened”

Mickey bit his lip, walking to the island counter Mandy sat at as he put his coffee down, hesitating as he didn’t want to seem like he was the clingy or needy type.

“Is he going to stay the night?”

Mandy put her pen down, looking at her big brother with a teasing smile.

“You two are in so fuckin’ deep, aren’t you?”

Mickey scoffed, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about”

With a laugh, Mandy just shrugged, “I don’t know if he’s staying. I think it depends on how Fiona reacts”

“Shit, he’s telling Fiona?”

“Kind of has to, but as I said, we’ll find out the gritty details later”

Mickey took a deep breath, trying not to be nervous or concerned for what could happen at the lawyers, or with Fiona, for that matter.

His little sister went back to her homework and Mickey grew curious, distracting the oncoming anxiety as he peered over her shoulder to look at what she was working on.

“Business, huh?”

“Yep” she sighed

“Why that, out of everything?” Mickey wondered

Mandy put down her pen again, more thankful than annoyed because all she wanted to do right now was procrastinate.

“I know people in the industry and business has more job opportunities”

Mickey huffed, “it’s better than fuckin’ escorting, that’s for sure”

“Mick…” Mandy replied, pursing her lips, “I know you give a shit, but it really isn’t that bad”

“Oh!” Mickey piped, his brows raised, “so a guy abusing you and getting you high on meth before dying in the bathroom, that’s not bad?”

Mandy rolled her eyes, tightening her ponytail, “let me guess, Ian?”

She got up from her seat and shook her head, making her way towards the toaster where Mickey’s waffles had popped up, but Mickey was far too concerned to notice them.

“Don’t worry, he told me the good shit too, but I still don’t think it’s fuckin’ worth it. I hated when Ian was out parading his body to those greasy old queers, you think I’d be okay with this?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” Mandy argued, grabbing a clean plate aggressively and throwing the warm waffles onto it

“You’re my sister, I’m not going to not give a shit—”

“Just shut the fuck up and eat your waffles” she sighed as she turned to him, holding the plate out, “go sit at the table, I’ll get the maple syrup”

Mickey was the one to roll his eyes now, “sure, okay”

He grabbed his coffee, a knife and fork before making his way over to the round glass table. Mickey took a seat and placed his plate down, holding onto his coffee as he took yet another sip of it, still trying to adjust to the taste.

“Here, got you some fruit too” Mandy offered, coming over and placing down the maple syrup, a banana and blueberries that were still in their packaging.

“Thanks” Mickey muttered, digging into his food.

Mandy just nodded before reaching for her phone on the counter to read a message from a group chat she had with her friends, quickly realizing how fast the time had passed.

“Fuck, I have to get ready, my friend is picking me up to go out for lunch in an hour” she explained as if Mickey would care

“’kay” he mumbled, shoveling the waffle into his mouth

Just as Mandy went to walk away, she moved back to look down at her brother, “You know, now that you have this free time, maybe you should focus on something and stop worrying over Ian and playing video games till 5am”

Taken aback by the comment, Mickey furrowed his brows, looking up at those blue eyes that were so alike to his own. It was almost like staring into a mirror, except Mandy looked almost identical to their mother, this stern attitude of hers was a vivid reminder of the mother they had lost.

“What do you suggest, then?”

Mandy licked her lip, thinking of something quickly.

“I don’t know—use my laptop, find something for you to do when you’re out of this mess—and don’t act like you won’t be okay, because you will be. Look up some Kennedy King courses, become a plumber”

“Fuck” Mickey laughed, “a plumber?”

Mandy cracked a smile now, “you know what I mean, just look for something that interests you that isn’t illegal. Trust me, it’s worth it”

“Alright” Mickey nodded, “thanks”

“No problem” Mandy replied, squeezing Mickey’s shoulder to comfort him. Mickey grabbed her hand lightly as she slid her way past to walk to the bathroom.

Once Mandy had shut the door and started the shower, Mickey nodded to himself and looked down at his plate. He was unsure what to think now, but Mandy was right. He had to stop thinking that being trapped here meant he would have to be paranoid and anxious the entire time.

This time alone was perfect for him to figure himself out. Ian would be okay, they would be okay—but Mickey had to start thinking for himself and make sure he too, would be okay at the end of the day.

* * *

 

It felt like there were bugs crawling beneath his skin. Ian felt so on edge about what could happen today as he sat in the reception of the lawyer’s office. The place was nice. It was an old home turned into a business, large windows allowing the space to feel bright, open, and less… _scary?_

Not that Ian feared the lawyer, but it was rather intimidating. He almost couldn’t believe he had managed to come this far, remembering how once upon a time, he was so sure Mickey wasn’t in love with him anymore.

Yet here Ian was, sitting next to his brother at a lawyer’s office whilst Mickey stayed with his sister in a well-accommodating apartment. It truly was hard to believe, or maybe everything that had happened had gone by so quick that Ian was now struggling to keep up with it all since he finally had time to think about it.

He wasn’t even sure how or why his brain decided right now was the perfect moment to allow this overwhelming emotion to sink him. He had to stay focused, and this skin-crawling sensation was making him impatient.

“Jesus, how long does it take? We’re paying this guy nearly $200 for a half-hour consultation” Ian murmured to his brother

“Just relax, okay?” Lip huffed, “it’s not a big deal, this will go over fine”

Ian just shook his head slightly, looking down at his palms

“What’s up with you?” Lip smirked now, “is the sudden lack of sex getting to you?”

“Fuck off” Ian barked, laughing softly, Lip joining in

“He’s probably in bed right now thinkin’ about your—”

“Okay, you need you shut the fuck up” Ian continued to laugh until it grew into a sigh, “it’s only been like, two days. I don’t understand why it’s hard considering how many times we’ve been apart in the past”

“Maybe because this is some heavy shit, and neither of you are pushing the other away this time”

Lip wasn’t wrong. They had never fought for their love to this extent before, it was always push-and-pull when it came to their relationship, but finally they were on the same page and were working together to figure this shit out.

“Yeah, you’re probably right” Ian exhaled, “I fucking miss him”

“I know” Lip nodded, patting Ian’s back, “depending on how Fiona reacts, you could stay the night at Mandy’s”

Ian had to laugh, “You really think Fiona would react well to this?”

“Well—”

“She told me that Mickey would light a match to my life and and ruin it, you really think she’d be okay with this?”

“Depends” he shrugged, “she might be alright since we’re dealing with this the _right_ way, unlike before where you would’ve escaped to Mexico without a plan, taking stupid-ass risks”

Ian kept his voice low, “I did escape to Mexico though, you saying that was stupid?”

“No, because you had a plan”

Just as Ian met with Lip’s stern stare, a somewhat tall man opened the door, saying goodbye to a client before calling out.

“Ian and Lip Gallagher!?”

“Here!” Lip stood, making his way over with ease as Ian took his time, examining the dark and handsome lawyer whose energy just expressed pride. He was somewhat young and well dressed, too, which was perfect because this meant he could easily charm his way through anything.

“Come in!” He welcomed, smiling at the brothers as they made their way inside the room.

The office was somehow well organized and decorated with faux luxury. The room was a bit gloomy compared to the waiting room but the fluorescent lights seemed to help brighten the room.

 “Okay…” The man muttered to himself, closing the door, “please, take a seat!”

Lip and Ian looked at each other and shrugged, thinking, ' _maybe this won’t be so hard after all?'_  before taking a seat on the leather armchairs.

“Now, which one of you is which?” He wondered as he made his way around

“I’m Lip” the older brother introduced before Ian had the chance, “and this is my brother Ian”

“Nice to meet you” he smiled, flashing his perfect teeth as he shook both of their hands, “I’m Alfonso Encarnacion, but you can’t call me Alfie, I don’t mind”

Ian just nodded as he gave Alfonso’s hand a firm shake, “nice to meet you, too”

“Now, I don’t know what we’re in for today and I don’t want to go over my flat-rate and have you pay more than necessary, so we’ll get right to it” he announced as he took his seat, quickly changing his mind, “Actually—You’re the one who called my cousin, aren’t you?” he pointed to Lip

“U-Uh, yeah, just briefly though, he recommended me to you instead”

Alfie hummed, grabbing his prescription glasses and putting them on, “Ricky told me the basis of what you discussed. I remember reading articles on the case a while ago, so I’m intrigued” he began, clicking away on his computer, “You want to bring justice to the wrongly sentenced Mikhailo Milkovich, right?”

“Right” Lip nodded whilst Ian was trying to prepare himself for what he may have to confess or answer.

“How do you know he was wrongly sentenced?” he asked as if he were testing the brothers

Ian hesitated, now speaking up, “I-It’s kind of a complicated story”

“How so?” he wondered, removing his glasses so he could look at Ian

“Hang on” Lip interrupted, “if this story includes something that may be illegal, you won’t get us in trouble?”

Alfie shook his head, lips pursed, “as long as you pay me, I’m on your side and will protect you in your own right”

That gave some relief to Ian’s chest, allowing oxygen to enter his lungs.

“Now, what’s the complicated story?” he wondered once again, his eyes locking onto Ian intimidatingly

“Mickey and I, we were” he paused, “together, and we’ve been together since we were in high school—Anyway, I inherited my mother’s bipolar disorder and shit got rocky. I’m not going too deep into detail with that right now but if we skip to 2015, that's where it gets serious”

Ian tried to backtrack to the events for a moment as Alfie had put his glasses back on, taking down notes on what Ian was saying.

“I was undiagnosed and manic—I’m sure there’s records of what happened to me—but once I was diagnosed, I was in denial and things continued to be rocky until one day, me and Mickey got into a fight because the meds fucked me up and I was angry” he paused, feeling anger rise at what happened next, “So, we sort it out and we were going to go on a date but when we got home, Sammi, my half-sister/the woman involved in the case had called the MP’s on me for signing up for the Army under Lip’s name and crashing a helicopter—I’m sure there’s records for that too”

Alfonso continued to take notes, not even raising his head from the paper

“Anyway, after I got taken to Military Prison and was dealing with that case, Mickey probably got protective and did fight with Sammi, but I don’t believe he tried to kill her, not to mention there’s no evidence to prove that he did—”

“Interesting” his brows furrowed, writing, “and how much time did he get for that?”

“15 years”

The lawyer shook his head, already sensing the injustice, “go on”

“So, after being released into my mother’s care, I came home thinking I didn’t want to cause Mickey the pain my mom had caused to the people she loved. I broke up with Mickey, and that’s when I saw Sammi running after him with a gun, shouting these dumb accusations as he shot at him multiple times. That was when they got arrested”

“Did you give the police this statement?”

“Yeah, sorry I don’t have a copy of the written one”

“It’s alright, if we need it I can get a copy” he assured, making a note of it, “So, where does this story involve you being at risk for further legal trouble?”

Lip decided to speak now, “around about when Mickey broke out of jail and became a fugitive”

Ian hated the way it sounded—like the man he loved was nothing but a dumb criminal, but he had to go on and share his truth.

“What happened then?” Alfie wondered, flipping to the next page of the notebook, his confident brown eyes were fixed on Ian, causing him to tell him the truth without hesitation.

“He contacted me” Ian stated, “He wanted me to join him in running away to Mexico”

The man nodded, not deciding to write that down, “that’s understandable—you don’t see your lover for over a year, you’d want to run away with them”

“But I didn’t” Ian corrected, “well, not really. I got scared and said goodbye to him at the border”

Alfie gave a tight smile, “so he made it across without you?”

“Y-Yeah” Ian nodded, “drove right through without a problem”

“So, you have no idea where he is right now, or if he’s even alive?”

That was when Lip and Ian had agreed to put the barriers back up, they didn’t want to share too much on the first meeting with this lawyer.

“yeah, basically” Ian sighed, “but ever since then I haven’t been able to let go of the fact that if he wasn’t wrongly sentenced, he could still be in Chicago right now living life to his full potential. Dead or alive, he deserves justice—”

Lip cut him off, “we just want to know if it’s possible to do a retrial without Mickey actually being here”

The lawyer smacked his lips together, tapping on his desk as he leaned back in his chair, a million ideas racing through his head.

“This won’t be easy” he admitted to the clients, “we may not get the retrial several years after a sentence because they’d be more focused on the fact he’s a fugitive now. Unless there’s public demand for it or there’s evidence to show it was as unfair as you claim—”

“Oh, we have evidence” Lip told him, Alfie furrowed his thick eyebrows as he curiously leaned on his desk

“Like what?”

“I wasn’t sure what to do with it” Lip began, pulling a USB stick from his pocket, “but I looked at the transcripts and something was really off about it, so I asked a friend who knows his shit to hack into the cameras and we found this”

Lip handed over the USB and Alfonso stared at it for before reluctantly taking it from his grip, plugging it into his computer.

The brothers watched as the lawyer put his glasses on, clicking on the file that had appeared. They watched his facial expressions change from confused and brooding to his eyes widening, jaw tightening as he swallowed the lump in his throat in complete disbelief as to what he was watching.

Alfonso’s stunned stare turned into a sly smile as the video came to a finish. He unplugged the USB and removed his glasses as he handed the stick back to Lip.

“So?” Lip wondered

“That” he paused, gathering his thoughts, “was brilliant”

Ian and Lip smiled with relief

“Do you think it’ll help us get a trial?”

The lawyer nodded, “oh yeah for sure—I already have a plan”

“You’re fucking amazing” Lip laughed, “what is it?”

“Well, were you planning on taking this evidence to the police?”

“No” Ian responded

“Good. Don’t” Alfie told them sternly, “because you and your friend could get in serious shit for hacking the cameras—look, I think this case has true potential and I _am_ willing to do it pro-bono if you go along with the everything I say”

Lip and Ian nodded, “of course”

“Okay” he exhaled, “We’ll need your hacker buddy to leak this tape with some phony title to grab people’s attention. I’m assuming he’ll know how to do it without it somehow tracking back to him so he should be fine. Hopefully the subject of the video will cause it to go somewhat viral. I’ll get some people to send it to local news stations and see if that spreads enough hype for it to be declared a mistrial; that’s when I get involved and say ‘ _my client Ian Gallagher is more than upset by the footage found and would like to stand in a trial of absentia on Mikhailo Milkovich’s behalf’_ and hopefully we get a court date ASAP”

“Woah” Ian exclaimed, unsure how to feel about this possibly becoming a media shit-storm

“I’m telling you, if we get the public on our side, not only will there be a mistrial but the judge who dealt with the case will get it big trouble for wrongly sentencing someone because of a blowjob”

Lip huffed, “it’s perfect, and kinda crazy”

“Crazy is good, it’s the only way we can get this to work out. Plus, it’ll look amazing for me to fix a mess as big as this one” he told his clients with a bright smile, “So, do we have a deal?”

Ian and Lip looked at each other, reading exactly how they both felt about it. It was scary but almost genius—probably not 100% legal either but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Mickey got the justice he deserved.

“Yeah” Ian confirmed, looking to the lawyer now, “you’ve got yourself a deal”

“Amazing!” He cheered, reaching his hand over to shake their hands, “I promise you won’t regret it”

The brothers kindly smiled, shaking his hand to seal the deal. They agreed to leak the video tonight and meet at the same tomorrow to discuss what will be said in court and go over all the legal stuff.

Ian wasn’t sure if he was excited or nervous, or both. It was daunting, that was sure. He just had to keep reminding himself of what the result would be at the end of the day—that Mickey would finally be free.

As for right now, he had to go home and tell the family that he was going to do this, bracing himself for the worst but also feeling at ease knowing that he would be seeing Mickey soon.

 

When Lip and Ian got to the Gallagher house, they entered with front door with caution. Lip did a great job of acting cool whilst Ian became fidgety and on edge. They had gone over what was to be said a hundred times on the way here but that didn’t stop Ian from thinking of a thousand other things to back up what possible questions he could be asked.

Walking into the living room, they noticed the TV was playing kid shows. Being so sure that Liam was at school, the brothers furrowed their brows with curiosity before noticing their teenage sister come down the stairs, a 2-year-old redhead sitting on her hip.

“Ian!” Debbie cheered, completely ignoring Lip, “you’re back?”

“Yeah” Ian chuckled, smiling at how precious and grown Franny looked in the small amount of time he was gone.

“How was it?” she wondered, embracing him with her free arm for a hug

“Alright, nothing special” he shrugged, giving her a hug before stroking Franny’s rosy cheek softly, “hey there”

“This if your uncle Ian, remember him?” she cooed to her daughter who nodded shyly, “okay, well you let him hold you while I go get your bottle”

The baby girl shyly leaned into Ian’s open hands as he pulled her from his little sister’s grip. Lip said a quick hello to Franny as he followed Debbie into the kitchen, leaving Ian alone with the redheaded baby.

“Gosh, you’re getting big. Do you speak? Can you say ' _uncle Ian_ '?”

She smiled, poking at her uncle's’ chest, “yan”

“Close!” Ian chuckled, “c’mon, let’s go see what mommy and uncle Lip are up to”

He walked into the kitchen with Franny on his hip, Debbie was waiting by the microwave whilst Lip sipped on his root beer, leaning against the counter.

“Is Fiona home?” he wondered as Franny began to wriggle in his grip, he let her down on the ground so she could run to her mom

“Yeah, she’s upstairs” Debbie informed, “why?”

Ian took a deep breath, watching how Debbie rubbed the back of her daughter that clung onto her leg as he prepared himself, “nothing”

“I’ll go get her” Lip announced, placing down his can before running up the stairs

Debbie furrowed her brows, confused by her brothers’ behavior as the microwave finally pinged. Ian just ignored it, nodding his head towards the living room.

“C’mon”

 

Ian sat on the coffee table, bopping his leg up and down with agitation as he watched Debbie be her best motherly self, laying her daughter down with her afternoon bottle of milk as she sung soft lullabies and ran her fingers through Franny’s thin orange hair.

The sound of stampeding feet came down the stairs, causing Ian’s eyes to raise to see Lip coming down, the frizzy brunette sister close behind.

“Ian, Lip told me you wanted to tell us something” Fiona already began to worry, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” Ian told her as he stood, “I mean, I do have to tell you guys something a-and I guess I should do it now whilst you’re all here. Well, Carl isn’t but you get my point”

“What’s going on with you?” his big sisters worrying continued, “Why are you acting so strange?”

“Just—hear me out okay?” he spoke towards all his sibling’s now, “while I was away, I did some thinking?”

Debbie hesitated, “what kind of thinking?”

Now Ian was the one to hesitating, fearing he’d come off stupid to those he cared about but there weren’t many ways to explain it that seemed reasonable, so he swallowed his pride and went with it.

“I’ve been thinking about Mickey” he admitted, “I miss him, and looking back at the trial it’s obvious he was wrongly sentenced and I just found out that Sammi had given the judge a blowjob in exchange for Mickey’s 15-year sentence”

“Shit” Debbie muttered, understanding immediately whilst Fiona shook her head

“So, what’s your point?” Fiona wondered, hands on hips, “What can you do about it now?”

“I-I’m seeing a lawyer; I’m going to stand trial on Mickey’s behalf”

“Now why the fuck would you do that?” Fiona’s voice becoming stern, walking towards Ian as if she were meant to intimidate him

“Because he doesn’t deserve what happened to him” Ian spoke in defense

“Mickey was an idiot for breaking out of jail instead of asking for a retrial in the first place! I told you he’d set a match to the life you’ve created—why would you want to test that!?”

“Oh, so because my life’s going okay, I shouldn’t try and take risks for the sake of my happiness?” he scoffed and Fiona sighed, rubbing at her eyebrow

“Ian—”

“No, fuck you Fiona!” Ian yelled, snapping after years of her breathing down his neck, she was instantly thrown aback by his comment. Debbie and Lip just stared, thinking it was best to stay out of it.

“I’m sorry I don’t want you fucking up your life! I’m giving you my opinion!” She argued

“Did I ask for your fucking opinion!? I just wanted to let you know what I’m doing with my life—I’m a fucking adult, I can take care of myself, stop thinking you can control us!”

Fiona went silent, biting on her bottom lip to prevent further rebuttal. Ian just rolled his eyes, clearly agitated as he headed towards the staircase.

“Where are you going!?” Fiona called after him

“I’m staying at Mandy’s!” he shouted back, running up the staircase.

Lip stayed silent, looking at the stunned yet fiery expression on Fiona’s face. She met with Lip's judgmental stare.

“ _Lip_ ” she said with desperation in her voice as if she expected him to be on her side

Ignoring her, Lip just turned away, following Ian’s tracks up the stairs to help him get his bag packed quickly. Fiona started to feel the burn on her ego now, breathing heavy with panic as she looked at her sister who stayed focused on feeding her child.

“Debs” she spoke with that same desperation, “you don’t think he’s doing the right thing, do you?”

Debbie looked up from Franny to give Fiona a condescending look.

“You really want me to answer that?”

“spare me, at the very least” she sighed

“Just like I told you when I was pregnant, we are our choices, Fiona, and he is an adult. Ian is smart, you don’t give him credit for being as dedicated as he is” she told her honestly, “besides, Mickey and Ian are _actually_ in love and have been for years. You can’t compare that to _any_ of your 5 second relationships”

Fiona shook her head, unable to believe her siblings were okay with Ian’s recklessness.

“This is seriously unbelievable” she huffed, pulling her car keys from her back pocket, “I have to go pick up Liam, are you staying for dinner?”

“Nope” Debbie replied simply, focused on Franny

“Fine” was Fiona’s final response before storming out the door and slamming the door behind her.

 

Ian still couldn’t help but feel slightly angry at Fiona’s response. It was exactly what he expected, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. He knows Fiona has never been one to know what real love is like, or how to fight for it—heck, not even Ian knew until he figured it out for himself—but she shouldn’t have overreacted the way she did.

Or maybe it was Ian who overreacted? He wasn’t sure anymore.

“I know you’re pissed, but you don’t have to go totally silent on me” Lip joked as he drove, eyes focused on the road.

“Shit—Sorry” Ian huffed, running his fingers through his shaggy hair, “I just couldn’t believe her”

“You can’t let her shit get to you, man. You know she probably still sees us as kids, right?”

“Yeah, well I’m sick of it” Ian admitted bluntly

Lip nodded, agreeing, “I know, I am too”

With a sigh, Ian rested his head back, just wishing this day would be over already so he could see Mickey and thankfully, Lip answered his prayers.

“I won’t take you with me to see Joaquin. I’ll drop you at Mandy’s and pick her up, she can come with me to Joaquin’s. We have to get some groceries anyway, so you’ll have more than an hour to be alone with your _boyfriend_ ”

Ian felt relieved by that, smiling over at his brother now, “thank you”

“No problem, you’ve been so on edge without him, seems like you need it. I’ll bring home dinner, too”

“Okay” Ian choked, trying not to get too flustered, “thanks, again”

Lip just nodded with a smile before reaching for his cigarettes, lighting one up with ease as he drove before offering one to Ian. The two brothers just enjoyed the drive despite the traffic they were merging into. The cigarettes probably helped, though.

 

Ian’s chest felt so much lighter now as he approached the door of Mandy’s apartment, all he wanted was to see Mickey and kiss him all over. It was kind of cheesy to admit, but it was true. Ian Gallagher was so irrevocably soft for the man trapped in that apartment, and he just wanted a moment to get lost in his beautiful blue eyes.

He knocked upon the door and waited, his hands held together as he swayed back and forth, patiently anticipating to get inside, acting as if he hadn’t been missing Mickey and wanted to see him for the past two days.

Mandy was the one to open the door, her handbag over her shoulder as she greeted Ian with a smile.

“Hey, have fun” she grinned, “we’ll be home in a couple hours”

Ian huffed, “Okay, see you then”

They exchanged a quick goodbye as she ran for the elevator that was closing whilst Ian made his way inside, closing the door behind him as his eyes locked on that blue-eyed-man who was walking over shyly from the couch

“Hey…” Ian greeted softly, gaining a slight smile from Mickey

“Hey” Mickey spoke, their shy behavior broken by Chico who came running past Mickey to say hello

“Chico!” Ian chimed, kneeling down as he embraced the dogs love, giving him a quick pat

“I think he misses the mansion” Mickey stated, “he doesn’t have much room to run around here”

“Oh I bet” Ian grinned, scratching behind his ears, “Aunt Mandy’s taking you for walks every morning though, isn’t she?”

The dog just panted, wagging his tail as he accepted Ian’s baby-talk. Ian looked up at Mickey who enjoyed watching Ian’s interaction with Chico, just taking in Ian’s presence. He felt happy that Ian was finally home.

“How was your day?” Ian genuinely wondered as he stood back up, pulling off his coat now

“fuckin’ boring” Mickey admitted, biting his lip as Ian threw the coat onto the kitchen counter, his t-shirt hugging his body in all the right places.

“Shit, I’m sorry” Ian sighed with sympathy

“Don’t worry about it” Mickey assured with a smile, Ian just gave a tight-lipped grin, pulling his phone out as he got closer to his boyfriend. He placed the phone on the dining table carelessly as Mickey’s eyes never left Ian’s lips.

“So, we met—”

“We have all night to chit chat, Gallagher” Mickey spoke, a smirk forming as Ian raised his eyes to meet with Mickey’s, realizing what was to come.

The gaze Mickey gave immediately made Ian give in to the mischief, turning to press his lips to Mickey’s lightly, his hands making their way into those soft raven locks as Mickey smiled against his lips, his heart fluttering at how it felt to have Ian so close to him again.

They kissed slow and tasteful, Mickey leading Ian to the bedroom whilst his hands pulled at Ian’s shirt as if he needed him right here and now. Ian was already feeling Mickey driving his senses wild from the excitement of what was to come. Mickey pushed his way through the door of his room, slamming it shut as he shoved Ian against it.

Ian let out a grunt, his mouth parting to allow their tongues to touch, a moan escaping Mickey now as Ian’s hand slid over Mickey’s ass, squeezing him through the thin fabric of his boxers and pulling Mickey close so their crotches could grind and continue to build the passion.

They both smirked now, a chuckle escaping from how full their hearts felt before diving in for a deeper kiss. Ian sucked on Mickey’s bottom lip before he hungrily allowed their tongues to devour, Mickey’s hands continuing to claw at Ian’s shirt as if he were seconds away from ripping it off.

Forcing Ian’s hands off him, Mickey pulled away so he could pull off Ian’s shirt, which Ian quickly allowed, throwing his shirt onto the ground before helping Mickey remove his sweater so it could quickly meet with Ian’s shirt on the floor. Mickey moved back in to continue the kiss, Ian’s fingers tracing up Mickey’s warm and soft skin.

Exhaling, Mickey moved from Ian’s lips and Ian tilted his head to the side so Mickey could trail hot kisses along his neck and down to his chest whilst Ian pressed his head against Mickey’s shoulder, just breathing him in as he found this moment almost magical, Mickey’s fingers lingering to his belt buckle.

“Fuck, I missed you so much” Ian confessed, feeling so much more complete compared to how he felt this morning

“I missed you more” Mickey muttered, his lips making their way to Ian’s earlobe

Ian smirked, finding that hard to believe, “You wish”

Mickey forced Ian harder against the door, making Ian moan now as he pulled away. Their eyes met with a teasing, lustful gaze.

“ _What?_ ” Ian grinned, Mickey quickly noticed how Ian was using his own flirtatious behavior against him and bit his lip, knowing two could play at this game as he dropped to his knees, pretending to be eager as he fumbled to undo Ian’s belt buckle.

Mickey opened the belt and unzipped his jeans teasingly, looking up at Ian who was so transfixed by the image of Mickey’s piercing blue eyes staring at Ian as if he hung the stars in the sky.

Ian bucked his hips, pleading for Mickey to put those thick, soft lips on him but Mickey denied, shaking his head as he raised from the ground. Ian’s eyes not leaving Mickey for even a second as he felt those fingers run along the waistband of Ian’s underwear.

“ _Please…_ ” Ian whispered, digging his fingers into his boyfriend’s hipbones and pulling him in close

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” Mickey breathed, his eyes locking onto Ian’s with a playful grin

Returning the grin, Ian’s slid his hand lower, pulling Mickey’s thigh up so he could flip him, pinning him hard against. Mickey bit his lip to hide his joyful smile as he closed his eyes, leaning his head back so Ian could press his lips to Mickey’s neck, hands eagerly pushing at Mickey's boxers.

“Turn around” Ian demanded, reaching for the lube in the bedside table of the small room as Mickey did as he was told, “pull them down” he continued.

Mickey didn’t even hesitate, ready for Ian to take control as he pulled his boxers down. Ian stood behind him, tube of lube in hand as he pulled at his hips, causing Mickey to arch his back as he rested his palms on the door. He could just feel his heart rate increase from the anticipation.

Ian marveled at the sight of Mickey’s perfectly shaped ass, spanking it hard enough to make Mickey jolt and groan. He leaned into Mickey’s ear.

“That’s what you get for not sucking me off”

Mickey moaned in response to his soft, luscious tone. Ian backed away, making sure to give the other cheek the same punishment, spanking a bit harder than the first time.

“Fuck” Mickey groaned, pressing his head to the door. Ian hummed, rubbing the cheek softly before hitting them both once more, finding himself filled with pride at how his hands marked Mickey’s pale skin.

“You’re going to be a good boy now, aren’t you?” he purred, the clicking of the lube bottle opening making Mickey nervous.

He nodded, “Uh-huh”

Ian squeezed the lubricant onto his fingers before closing it and throwing it onto the bed.

“Good” He murmured, sliding his now slick fingers over Mickey’s hole, nearly making him shiver as Ian had no courtesy, pressing his fingers inside.

“Holy shit” Mickey gasped, feeling those fingers tease their way in and out—warming him up for what was next.

Ian carefully moved his fingers in a scissor motion, curling slightly as he pressed kisses upon Mickey’s back. Mickey’s voice grew louder as the lube finally warmed up enough for Ian to pick up the pace. He moved faster, almost slamming into Mickey to the point Mickey’s knuckles turned white from gripping into the door.

It felt so fucking good. Mickey whimpered, whispering as he begged for Ian not to stop, but being the mischievous person he was, Ian pulled out unexpectedly, causing Mickey to whine in response.

“Get on the bed” Ian demanded

And Mickey did exactly so, Ian quickly kicking off his shoes and pulling down his pants so he could follow close behind. Mickey got on his knees on top of the bed, closing his eyes at the sensation of Ian’s lips on his neck before he shoved him down so his chest laid against the messy bed, back perfectly arched as Ian quickly squeezed lube onto his length, positioning himself behind Mickey.

Without giving warning, Ian slowly thrusted inside, already wanting to find that release from how tight Mickey felt around him. Fuck, no matter how many times they did this it always felt as good as the first time. He inhaled sharply, moving in and out slowly as Mickey agreed, relaxing into the sensation quickly, his hand reaching around to pull at his ass cheek.

“Deeper—fuckin’ fill me” He begged greedily

The greed in his voice drove Ian wild and immediately did as he was told, pushing himself in further as he pressed kisses among Mickey’s back, wrapping his arm around Mickey’s chest so his body could be closer to his, increasing the pressure. He continued to pick up the pace, making sure he hit exactly where Mickey wanted him.

“There?”

“ _Right there_ ” Mickey breathed, resting his head to the side so he could breathe as Ian worked wonders on Mickey’s body. Mickey felt the pleasure overtake him, gripping into the sheet on the mattress as his moans got louder, not taking this moment alone with Ian for granted.

He was already losing control, rolling perfectly into each thrust. The grunts Ian made so close to his ear only increased the pleasure, he was breathing so heavy and muttered profanities so dirty he’d be embarrassed if he didn’t feel so _good_.

Ian was almost bewildered by how good Mickey was taking him, euphoria conquering this moment as he bit into Mickey’s shoulder, panting softly as he got faster, Mickey only agreed louder. Ian wished he could see how beautiful Mickey’s face looked being so consumed by what Ian was giving to him. He slowed down, running his fingers through Mickey’s hair tenderly as he moved his head to peer over the other shoulder to see his face.

Despite being in complete bliss, Mickey couldn’t help but feel Ian’s eyes on him so he peeled his eyes open, his dreamy gaze fixing onto Ian’s stare of admiration.

“What?” Mickey inhaled, exhaling a soft “ _fuck_ ” as Ian slowly hit the right spot

Ian grinned, “just wanted to say hey”

Mickey laughed loudly at how weird Ian was, he was truly something special.

“Well, Hello” he responded, “What’s with you?”

Ian laughed along, not wanting to respond with something gross like _‘just hopelessly in love wit u.’_

"nothin'" He pulled out carefully, directing Mickey, “turn over,”

Biting back his smile, Mickey did so, the couple not leaving a moment for them to be apart as their lips met again, intense from the heat of passion and love that flowed through them effortlessly. Mickey looped his arms around Ian’s neck, Ian’s hand gripping into Mickey’s back as he directed him further back on the bed, reaching for a pillow and resting it under Mickey’s lower back as he carefully lay him down, their tongues tasting and not wanting to leave one another as Ian positioned himself.

He pulled away from Mickey slowly, running his fingers down his soft chest as he sat up straight, grabbing Mickey’s calves so he could rest his legs over his shoulders. Mickey watched Ian with so much love in his eyes as Ian thrusted perfectly into him. Mickey exhaled and bit his lip as Ian met with his stare, the two now fucking at a far more rhythmic and less hungry pace, more enjoying the time they had together.

Ian was making love to Mickey’s body, moving at an even pace as he pressed kisses to Mickey’s calves, hands making their way down to his beautiful thighs as if to keep him close. He just breathed it all in, each sound and how Mickey tasted, completely transfixed by how Ian ruled him over.

“C’mere” Mickey breathed, reaching his hands out to grab Ian’s face where he pulled him down, their lips slamming together as Ian's hand slid under Mickey’s head to hold him in place as he started to pound, their make out heavy and sloppy as they just gave each other all they could give.

Mickey rocked himself so perfectly with each stroke, feeling the need to ride and give Ian everything he deserved. He wrapped his legs around Ian’s waist, taking control now as made Ian sit up, the two holding each other close as Mickey gasped, sinking down onto Ian with his head thrown back as Ian bit into his jaw. Ian started rocking up into Mickey as he started to bounce on Ian, one hand tight in Ian’s hair as the other rested on Ian’s knee to help him move in that perfect motion.

Ian loved every moment, letting his loud moans escape as his fingernails dug into Mickey’s back, scratching downwards as his other hand began to work Mickey’s length, pumping at the fast pace Mickey was working at, his lips unable to leave Mickey’s skin.

“Fuck, Fuck!” Mickey panted, losing himself in the moment

“Come on, baby” Ian breathed in his ear, “you’re nearly there, I can feel it”

Mickey pulled Ian’s face to meet his, their lips colliding with passion and intensity as Mickey furrowed his brows, feeling his muscles ache but not giving in as the fire ignited within him, whimpering against Ian as they let their pleasure take its toll; ignoring how the loud bed squeaked beneath them as they continued to dig into the others’ skin as if they depended on it, reaching their climax.

The fire burned viciously, their grunts louder than ever before as they didn’t focus on anything but keeping that intensity alive as they rode it out in the sweaty haze they found themselves in. They panted and cried out as they came, slowing down to an eventual stop with their heads pressed together as they just breathed in and out deeply. Mickey’s fingertips stroked the nape of Ian’s nape softly as Ian’s hands ran their way up his back, massaging the marks he had made as they came back down to earth.

Ian carefully caressed Mickey back down onto the bed, pulling the pillow to rest it under Mickey’s head. Mickey leaned up for a soft kiss and Ian allowed it, pulling out slowly which caused Mickey to sigh into a deeper kiss, the love and devotion flowing through them both.

Once Ian pulled away and they cleaned up the mess they had made of themselves, Ian pulled the messy bed sheets over them so they could just cuddle and take advantage of this time they had together. Mickey reached for Ian’s hand, linking their fingers to which Ian smiled, propping himself up on his elbow as his leg draped over Mickey’s thigh.

His free hand softly ran through Mickey’s hair as Mickey closed his eyes, feeling so satisfied and in some sort of dream-state from the love that radiated from Ian. He somehow found this moment so hard to believe despite the intensity of being in the same room as his boyfriend, those slender fingers stroking his forehead now, making their way to trace his strong eyebrows.

Ian took this time to admire all the perfections of Mickey’s face, his fingertips gently running along his cheekbones whilst he admired those dark eyelashes, continuing to trace his features. He ran them along his strong jawline before placing his thumb on Mickey’s supple bottom lip, swiping his thumb across as he adored how pink they were, thinking that Mickey was beyond beautiful; he was beyond a masterpiece; beyond the moon in the sky and he was beyond the beauty of a galaxy; he was the universe, and Ian wanted to get lost within him forever.

Smiling at the feeling of Ian's touch on his lips, Mickey’s tired eyes fluttered open to meet with the loving gaze Ian was giving him before running his free hand up and down Ian’s forearm softly as he grew curious.

“What are you thinking about?” Mickey whispered

Ian licked his lip, hesitant as he confessed, “I-I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you”

Mickey’s face lit up with a grateful smile, the hand that once intertwined with Ian’s now moving to trace circles on the nape of Ian’s neck.

“I love you” he whispered, Ian nodded, gliding his hand into Mickey’s hair.

“I love you” Ian whispered, moving the fingers that sat by Mickey’s lips down to his chest as they leaned into one another’s kiss, their lips meeting delicately as they motioned slowly, still finding it hard to believe that after everything they had been through, they were capable of feeling something as pure as a love like this.

Mickey broke the kiss, looking up into Ian’s jade-toned eyes as he made a confession.

“I feel like we should tell each other that more often” he spoke softly, causing Ian to furrow his brows

“What do you mean?”

“You ever hear those stories about couples that stay together for like 70 years? and when they’re asked how they’ve managed to last so fuckin’ long, they say that they kiss or tell each other ‘ _I love you_ ,’ at least once a day?”

The thought nearly brought tears of astonishment to Ian’s eyes, unable to fight his smile.

“You want to grow old with me? You think about that?”

“Of course I do” Mickey assured, “And it’s not something I think about it, it’s just how it _is_ you know? I can’t picture myself without you—I want to be with you even when we’re old and can’t fuck as good as we used to”

Ian had to laugh about it, pressing his forehead to Mickey’s, “god, I fucking love you”

“Shut up” Mickey chuckled, becoming flustered from their sweet moment before Ian pressed their lips together again. They never would get over this, and Ian knew that one day once all the bullshit is over, he would get down on one knee and prove to Mickey that he wanted forever with him, too.

Mickey rested his hands upon Ian’s jawline as their lips motioned together, kissing so gently at first but quickly getting more passionate as Ian moved over Mickey’s body, breaking the kiss to press kisses down his torso as he sunk lower and lower, not taking this time alone for granted.

“Again?” Mickey chuckled, not complaining at all as he felt that hot tongue press a kiss to his hips

Ian looked up at Mickey as he shared the truth, “who knows how much time we have to be like this, I want to make you feel good before I go away again”

Mickey tried not to think about it, just leaning his head back as he felt Ian’s hand wrap around him, pumping slowly as those lips continued to make their way down. He never wanted Ian to leave, then again, this was probably all too good to be true anyway. It usually was.

“ _Oh..._ ” Mickey exhaled as Ian took him into his mouth, making all of Mickey’s worries go away.

Ian worked so slowly, his tongue working wonders as Mickey slid his hand under the sheet to tug Ian’s vibrant hair as he whispered how good he felt to the silent air around him.

Then, the silence was broken by the sound of a door opening which caused Mickey’s eyes to shoot open, propping up to see that their door wasn’t open which was a relief but the front door definitely was open, since chatter could be heard in the next room.

“S-Stop” Mickey muttered, “I think they’re home”

“Huh?” Ian popped up from under the sheet, wiping his moist lips with his thumb.

Suddenly, a knock came at the door, alarming the couple.

“Ian, Mickey, dinner!” Mandy chimed before walking away, allowing them both to ease.

“Shit” Mickey sighed, looking down at Ian who just smiled

“It’s alright” he assured, leaning up to steal a kiss, “we can continue later”

Mickey smiled back, knowing that would be the case, but he still didn’t want to leave behind the world he and Ian always managed to create when they were alone together in whatever space they had upon a mattress.

They were quick to get up and get dressed, Mickey putting on some baggy grey sweatpants to hide his boner before throwing on a plain black t-shirt. Ian also changed into his baggier clothes, ready to just spend the rest of the night relaxing with Mickey, his brother and Mandy.

Mickey walked out first, Ian close behind as they entered the living area, Mandy and Lip were setting the table but were quick to look in their direction before looking at one another with a grin, knowing well of what Mickey and Ian were up to; the couple looked so messy with obvious bed hair, their skin radiating with that after-sex-glow.

“Did you have a good nap?” Lip snickered, Mandy unable to fight her grin

Mickey huffed, flipping Lip off as he made his way over to the fridge to get him and Ian some drinks

“Aren’t you a bit early?” Ian wondered as he helped himself to a seat at the table, reaching for the phone he had left there earlier

“Not really” Mandy replied, grabbing the plastic bags from the counter to place in the middle of the table, “we may have overdone it with the Chinese food”

“Jesus” Ian muttered before looking at his phone, stunned by how much time had passed, but that was quickly overtaken by the bitterness of seeing texts from Fiona on his screen.

‘ _I’m sorry, I know I overreacted but I just don’t think it’s a good idea_ ’

‘ _don’t you care about your mental health? This could ruin you if it goes badly_ ’

 

He hated always being so doubted by her, it honestly made him want to burst into tears and shout at her about how he is fine and that his life's finally, for once, good. 

' _you know that I'll still support you and stand by you, right? You have to know that_ '

' _come home soon, you just got back, i don't want you to leave again!_ '

He opened the text messages, but his thumb hesitated. There were a million replies flowing through his head but he wasn’t sure what to say, or if he should say anything at all.

“What’s that?” Mickey wondered as he placed two cans of coke down, taking a seat next to him. Ian instantly locked his phone.

“Nothing” he lied, cracking open the can

Mickey sighed, rolling his eyes, “guessing Fiona didn’t take it well?”

“Of course not” Ian scoffed, taking a sip. Mandy and Lip just stayed quiet from their seats before Mandy changed the subject.

“Help yourself, guys” she told them, Lip already helping himself to pile the food on his plate.

Mickey and Ian stayed quiet, trying to put that conversation aside for now as they plated up their food, Mickey offering to give Ian some of what he had as they traded containers of food. They were just like any other domestic couple, and despite personal doubts of what was happening outside their relationship, they were happy.

“By the way, Joaquin got that video up with no problem” Lip mentioned, confusing Mickey

“What?”

Lip looked at Ian then back at Mickey, “he didn’t tell you?”

Ian interrupted, “we were busy”

“Okay” Lip huffed, knowing damn well that they were more than ‘ _busy_ ’ before shoving food in his mouth

“Well can one of you explain it to me then?” Mickey seemed to plead, not wanting to be left out from something that was about him.

“Basically,” Lip swallowed, taking the wheel as always, “we found footage of Sammi giving the judge a hummer and the lawyer is doing the case pro-bono. He said we have to leak said footage so it gets more attention from the public and so we don’t get in trouble for hacking into the system”

“Oh, alright” Mickey replied, unsure how to feel, “this is going to get fuckin’ out of control, isn’t it? I spent half the day Googling myself and some people were already passionate about it, so will this shit will just make it more insane?”

“Mick!” Mandy told him off, “I told you not to do that”

He shrugged, “couldn’t help it”

“I get it” Ian assured him, “I’m scared, too. I have no idea what to expect—”

“None of us do” Lip added, “but it will be a shit storm”

Mickey ignored Lip, locking onto Ian’s assuring eyes as he took a deep breath. They both knew this would be hard.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see” Mickey concluded, moving on from the conversation to eat his food.

The rest of the table decided to end it there for now and get back to eating before Lip backtracked to the Googling topic to which they all shared horror stories, like when Ian Googled his name and his porno came up—he wasn’t that ashamed about it anymore, both him and Mickey finding the humor in it before Mandy mentioned that she found her old Myspace page, describing the embarrassing photos that were on there.

They were having a good time, trying to not think too deeply into the case and rather focus on right now, with the two animals that were sitting by their sides acting as if they were never fed. After dinner, they just played some board games where Mickey and Lip got into a heated argument over a game of Monopoly that Mandy ended up winning anyway.

Then finally, once the clock had ticked to midnight, both couples made their way to their bedrooms where Mickey and Ian quickly made their bed and eagerly jumped in, snuggling up as they relished in one another’s company. They just whispered sweet nothings and laughed over inside jokes before Ian embraced Mickey again, keeping his promises as they sunk into bliss for the first of the many times that night.

They were just enjoying whatever time they had together, keeping quiet and loving each other endlessly. It was perfect, and no matter what, this moment could never be taken away because what they had was just too good to be ruined by anyone, or anything. Even the law.


	29. Chapter 29

It had been three weeks since meeting with the lawyer and now it was officially the calm before the storm. Tomorrow morning would be when Ian faced a courtroom to defend his boyfriend against his unjust sentence. He couldn’t lie, he was horrified, and nervous that he’d fuck up or that something would go wrong at any given moment.

Because of that, they were being cautious and Ian had only seen Mickey only twice during those few weeks. Lip was concerned that since that video had gone viral, the feds and possible investigative journalists would be onto them, so it was best they both stayed away. It was incredibly hard, but in time of real need, Ian would always call Mandy and ask to hear Mickey’s voice for just a few minutes.

Ian was still trying to wrap his head around everything, these weeks had gone by so fast yet so slow it was beginning to blur. He tried to avoid the news and internet as much as possible, he didn’t want to know what was being said, but he knew that once he did stand trial, he wouldn’t be able to avoid it. He wasn’t ready, but was willing to put up with the bullshit just so Mickey could free at the end of the day.

Besides that, these past weeks had been incredibly agonizing. All he did was work, sleep, meet with Lip and Alfonso, go back to work and so on. The most eventful thing was probably finally getting a haircut. It had happened spontaneously one of the nights he went to Mandy’s. Ian wouldn’t stop complaining about how he always had to brush his hair out of his face, to which Mandy pulled out some clippers and said ‘ _come on then!_ ’ and Ian went along. He liked it short and Mandy styled it well considering the amount of times she’s had to give her brothers haircuts, so it was easy for her.

Other than that, not much had happened. As of right now, he was sitting at the staffroom table at the Ambulance station enjoying his lunch, but always kept an ear out in case he got called to a job.

Work was enjoyable to Ian; he didn’t realize how much he missed it until he started those sirens and felt that adrenaline race through him. So far, he’s managed to get each patient from point A-to-B without fail, which felt great considering how long he had been away from work for.

He liked that he was saving people again and that he had a purpose to this world. He had spent so much time worrying over Mickey that he seemed to forget others that needed him, too. Ian honestly felt like his life was heading in an amazing direction that he was genuinely happy about, even though his heart ached for Mickey as of right now, it was the future he pictured in his mind that kept him going.

He hoped that once this was over, Mickey would also be able to get out there and do amazing things with his life outside of their relationship, too. Mickey was capable of so much and when Ian heard that Mickey was trying to figure what would come next for him, he felt so happy for Mickey and was so supportive of who he aspired to be, and that truly helped Mickey believe that he was more than capable after years of believing he’d be a felon for the rest of his life, likely to be found dead before he turned 30 years old.  

Mickey had an amazing support system for the first time ever in his life thanks to his baby sister and Ian, and that helped him realize happiness wasn’t so farfetched, after all. This was possible, and Ian was so fucking proud of him.

Finishing his sandwich, Ian rolled up the plastic wrap and shot it into the trashcan, a winning grin on his face as it landed perfectly.

“Two points” he cheered, looking over at Sue who was biting into her sandwich, “how long you got left?”

“I don’t finish for another 3 hours” she spoke with her mouth full, “you?”

“I get off at 5, that’s if we don’t get a call”

She nodded, continuing to eat. Ian had missed Sue, too, along with everyone else he worked with. Sue had a special place in his heart, though. They had the closest bond and could speak about anything without it getting weird. He had genuinely missed her whacky stories that were almost too good to be true.

“So, you really going to court tomorrow for an ex?” she wondered, “I read it in the paper this mornin’”

“Jesus, really?” Ian huffed, suddenly flustered, “Didn’t think it’d be in the news so quick”

“This shit is serious, Gallagher. I had no fuckin’ clue that _Mikhailo_ or whatever was _the_ ex, why didn’t you say something?”

“Not much to say” Ian shrugged, “I tried to avoid speaking about him—or even thinking about him—but once I saw that clip I just—”

“Knew it was unfair?”

Ian sighed, “yeah”

Sue hummed, placing her sandwich down so she could sip her water.

“I could never risk my life for someone the way you do” she admitted, “even my own husband. I know that’s probably not a good thing”

“Nah, it is a good thing it’s just—What Mickey and I have is different” he paused, “it’s a lot more complicated” he admitted with a huff, as if it were almost funny to him that they could never catch a break.

“As if that wasn’t obvious” she laughed it off

Ian slouched in his seat, laughing as he rested his head back, “yeah”

“You’re a smart kid, I’m sure you’ll get out of this fine and it’ll get less complicated soon” she assured

“I’m hopin’ so” Ian smiled, tapping his fingers on the metal table as he sighed, and that was the truth. He wanted so bad for this to not be complicated.

Mickey and Ian had been together since they were kids, they deserved their happily ever after. Sometimes it bugged Ian, how so many ‘ _High School Sweethearts’_ just grew up happy and continued to live happily into a marriage and create a perfect family, but here Ian and Mickey were, always defying the odds to do what was best for each other yet it never worked out.

He hoped this time would be different, he hoped this would be the last hurdle before they could finally settle into an easy lifestyle with one another.

 

Walking through the gate and up the front steps of the Gallagher house, Ian could hear music blaring from the inside-out. He furrowed his brows, _was there a party he wasn’t invited to or something?_ He couldn’t think of any reason for a party, unless Carl had come home early? That got him excited, but he was sure he wouldn’t be back just yet.

Ian opened the front door and helped himself inside, removing his backpack and EMT jacket as he walked through the entry door to embrace the noise of music and laughter in the living room. He forced a bright smile as he witnessed his neighbor Veronica dancing with Lip, a plastic red cup likely filled with cheap wine or vodka in hand, her husband Kevin came walking in from the kitchen with a beer, Fiona following close behind with a bowl of snacks.

“What’s all this about?” Ian wondered with a laugh, throwing his things onto the couch so he could say hello to his favorite neighbors

“Ian!” Veronica chimed, reaching her arms around him for a hug, the pair laughed as he accepted the hug, squeezing her back.

“Hey man!” Kev greeted, “we got our bar back! Here, take my beer, I’ll get another”

“Oh, thanks” Ian politely took it from Kev and glugged the bitter beverage as he took in how casually the neighbor told him the news.

The Alibi Room was a local bar Kev basically grew up in and ended up owning the bar once Kev’s foster father Stan, the original owner, passed away.

It became Kev and V’s bar and it was theirs for years until Svetlana got involved—long story short—Veronica ended up falling in love with Svetlana whilst still loving Kev and so they started a polyamory relationship. It confused Ian in the beginning and he preferred to stay out of that situation.

Then Svetlana being Svetlana, took care of herself and her son before anyone else by sabotaging the relationship and taking control of the finances before tricking Kev and V into signing what was supposed to be adoption papers so she could adopt their twins Amy and Jemma, but it turned out to be papers so Svetlana could be the official owner of the bar.

It’s a bit complicated to understand, but the moral of the story is; don’t trust a Russian who was sold into sex slavery before they hardly even a teenager.

Ian had to admire Svetlana’s bravery though, he always had, but even he had to admit this was a dick move.

That's when his mind had to wonder, questions flooding his mind now. What did this mean? How did they do it? Was Svetlana okay? More importantly, was Yevgeny going to be okay?

Fiona quickly broke him out of his daze, “If you’re hungry, there’s some mac ‘n’ cheese keeping warm in the oven”

Ian just ignored it, looking to Kev as he walked back in, “So, you really got the bar back?”

“Yep, took over two years but we finally took back what was ours” He beamed, sipping his beer

“What’s happening to Svetlana?”

Veronica interrupted now, “Why should we care? I hope immigration gets her manipulative, lying, commie ass”

Ian turned to her as she ate a Dorito, that resentment towards Svetlana was so evident in her dark, soulful eyes. Veronica was so in love with her, Ian had to share a look of empathy.

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled, “I-I just meant because of Yevgeny”

“Yevgeny will be fine, they both will be, even if they weren’t she’d figure it out”

Whilst that was true, Ian had that tinge of panic in the back of his mind. Maybe it due to the anxiety he already felt but he had to worry. What if immigration took Svetlana? What would happen to Yevgeny?

It was scary to think about and Mickey had no clue any of this had been happening. What could he do, anyway? Ian wasn’t going to tell him. Mickey had enough to worry about, and he couldn’t take Yevgeny into his custody anyway, not when he was a convicted felon who is now a renowned fugitive.

Ian just hoped that if something did happen, it’d be after all this was over. He’d happily take Yevgeny into their care, even though it would be a bit daunting at first.

The room seemed to move around Ian as he stood still, deep in his wonders. Lip had lit a cigarette as a conversation with Fiona and V had ensued, and Kevin took a seat on the sofa, continuing to glug back his beverage.

“Take a seat” Kev instructed, pointing to the coffee table, “why’re you acting cagey?"

Unable to find the will to answer, he sat down with a sigh, “Nothing”

Yet as always, Lip found the need to step in, “he’s got court tomorrow”

“No shit! I completely forgot you were doing that fight for Mickey business” he laughed, Ian forced a smile despite how his nerves bubbled in his stomach.

“Really? Don’t you watch the news?”

“I haven’t watched the news since Donald Trump became president” Kev confessed, “but don’t worry, you’ll crush it!”

“Thanks” Ian huffed, scratching at the beer label with hopes the conversation would move on. He was trying to distract himself from what was possible tomorrow. No matter how much time he had, he could never be fully prepared for this.

Thankfully, Ian’s hopes were answered when Debbie came strolling in the door with Franny on her hip and Kev and V’s girls by her side. Kev was happy to see the girls and Lip held his arms out for his niece. Suddenly Ian didn’t matter anymore and for once that relieved him.

He wasn’t sure how long he would be able to handle this party, all he wanted was time alone to brace himself for what was next.

 

Once things had picked up and everyone was consumed by the celebrations, Ian had made his way out the backdoor to the rusty red van that sat in the backyard. It couldn’t function even if they tried to fix it, but it was a great hang out spot for any of the Gallagher’s when they needed time away from the chaos of their home.

The van was comforting in its own way with little trinkets and details provided by each sibling. Toys, magazines and old packets of condoms that were forgotten over the years were now useless, but they kept them here for that special Gallagher touch. It did help comfort Ian despite how badly he needed to escape.

Ian just sat in the driver's seat of the van, having finished his bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese to now just sit here and chain smoke whatever was left in his pack. He wasn’t trying to stress over his life, but was rather trying to ease the pressure he had felt from everything around him. He was grateful for this moment of tranquility, looking out the window to the grey sky and how the streetlights and clouds dimmed the stars.

He couldn’t help but wonder what Mickey was up to right now, was he just as sad? Did he miss Ian, too? Was he stressed? Did he feel confident? Ian had no idea, but he hoped whatever type of night he was having was better than his own.

A tap came from the passenger window that caused Ian to jolt back to reality, looking over as the door opened. Ian remained unbothered, recognizing the silhouette of his older brother as he got in the van.

“Hey, got a light?” Lip casually greeted, holding his hand out for the lighter with his cigarette between his lips

“Hey, yeah” Ian muttered in return, passing the lighter over as he inhaled his own smoke

“Why’re you sitting out here for?” Lip wondered, closing the door behind him, “been a while”

“Just thinking. Felt like I couldn’t breathe in there”

The lighter lit up the space between them as Lip nodded, bringing the fire to his cigarette as he lit it up. He inhaled and passed the lighter back.

“You worried about tomorrow?” Lip wondered

“Of course” Ian huffed, flicking ash into the tray, “and I—I miss Mickey”

“You know he’s just a phone call away though, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to bother him with this shit”

“You wouldn’t be bothering him, dude” Lip assured, “if anything, he’s just as worried as you”

Ian sighed, taking a drag as he kept quiet. He didn’t want to talk, he just _wanted_ Mickey. He wanted simplicity. He just wanted to lay on the couch watching a movie with Mickey and Chico close by, but that wasn’t possible right now and all this mess was going to consume him. Ian wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to handle this for.

“Call him later, alright?” Lip ordered, “take a breather, whatever, just speak to him eventually”

“I will if I really need to—I can handle it”

“Okay” Lip sighed, flicking the ash from his cigarette

Ian looked over at him and knew his brother wouldn’t leave him alone now having clearly noticed the state of Ian’s mind. Whilst it annoyed Ian, he was also grateful because he had someone to turn to and someone that could distract him. Ian decided to switch the conversation onto him and his relationship instead so he could stop worrying about his own for a moment.

“What about you. You missing Mandy?” Ian wondered

“Kind of? I think we’ve both been wrapped up in our own shit we haven’t actually thought about it”

Ian instantly didn’t like the sound of that, becoming defensive.

“Jesus, you’re not going to break up with her, are you!?”

“What!?” Lip nearly screeched, “Dude, no! We just—aren’t as in love as you are”

Ian huffed, putting out his smoke before crossing his arms, “You better not, or I’ll kick your ass”

“Trust me, she’s good for me and I don’t want to lose what we had again”

“Right” Ian replied, watching Lip inhale his cigarette, “must suck not getting laid regularly”

“Speak for yourself” Lip scoffed, “I still see Mandy though, so my sex life is fine”

Ian just laughed, knowing he was more talking about himself. He missed every piece of Mickey, from his hair, his wit, his voice, his scent and that incredible ass. He missed it all and felt so incomplete without it.

Just as Lip went to speak; another voice came from outside the van.

“Ian, Lip, you out here!?” Fiona called out, “Come back in, you’re missing out!”

Lip laughed now, “what could we possibly be missing out on?”

“Fucked if I know” Ian chuckled, opening the door, “c’mon”

The brothers gathered their thoughts, grabbing the cigarettes as well as the bowl that Ian had used to eat his dinner before making their way out and up the back-porch steps to the door. For a Chicago night, it wasn’t that cold thanks to Summer being right around the corner. Ian was already dreading the heat and humid nights, hopefully Fiona was willing to share her AC with the rest of the house this year.

As they stepped inside, they were welcomed by the classic rock they had danced along to since they were kids. Frank was here, clearly drawn in by any celebration as he danced on the couch with a beer in hand.

The brothers laughed it off as Ian placed the bowl in sink, Lip reaching into the fridge to pull out a cola and a beer for Ian, he passed it over and Ian gave quick thanks as they headed into the living room.

Fiona beamed at the sight of her brothers, “Finally, you’re inside!”

“Are you drunk?” Ian laughed

“No” she scoffed, holding her hands out to him

Lip was happily avoiding her, making his way over to where Debbie sat with the girls. He liked to call it the ‘ _sober corner._ ’

“C’mon” Fiona insisted, smiling at Ian.

Truth was, Ian and Fiona’s relationship had still been rocky since he told her that he’d be fighting for Mickey’s justice. He had been ignoring her, which he was slowly starting to feel bad about since each time she tried to share something exciting or confide in Ian/have Ian confide in her he’d shrug her off.

Now seeing that smile on her face and how insistent she was, Ian couldn’t resist, grabbing her hand as he swigged his beer, allowing her to pull him in so they could just let go with the music, singing and shimmying along. It wasn’t listening to _Gasolina_ and swaying with Mickey in Mexico, but it was good enough.

“Are you feeling okay?” Fiona wondered, noticing how quiet he had been through her rambling about nothing

“Yeah” Ian smiled slightly, “just a lot on my mind”

He held his arm up so Fiona could twirl and continue dancing to the beat.

“You know you can speak to me, right? Just because I don’t agree doesn’t mean I don’t support you”

Ian chugged back more beer, hesitant as to what he should reply with, “Thanks”

“And even if you don’t want it, I will stand with you in that court tomorrow morning”

The younger brother had to laugh now, “Alright, then you better stop drinking now so you can make it”

“Ah, I’ll be fine. I’m your big sister, I will be there no matter what”

Ian just smiled, twirling her once again as V came strutting through the door with a bottle of cheap vodka in her hand, cups in the other.

“Who ordered more vodka!?” she sung, her more than contagious laugh shining as everyone who was drinking rushed over for a serve as if they would die without it.

 

It didn’t take long for the alcohol to course through Ian’s veins and make him weary-eyed. He sat on the staircase, lazily swigging back his beer as he watched everyone carelessly chat and have drunken fun. Lip decided to leave so he wouldn’t give in and went to Mandy’s instead to give in to something far more therapeutic. Ian wished he could do the same, but it wasn’t possible.

He wished he were the fun kind of drunk right now, but the truth of it all was that he was suffering, his mind locked onto the one thing he tried so hard to forget. Mickey. He was so scared and it was hitting him so hard—he was responsible for whatever could happen tomorrow—he was terrified of fucking up, of losing Mickey for good.

No matter how positive the case looked, he just couldn’t help but think of the negative outcomes. The depressants from the alcohol that mixed with his meds probably weren’t helping his overwhelming feeling, either.

All he wanted was to feel sure, to feel safe, to feel Mickey’s affection but he couldn’t. He was stuck in this stupid fucking house with no one to talk to because he feared feeling and looking stupid. He knew what he needed, but even what he needed wasn’t enough right now.

Ian pulled his phone out of his pockets, finding nothing on his screen as his eyes struggled to focus on the time; _10:40?_ Damn. This would be a long night.

Without saying a word, Ian excused himself from the party as he made his way up the stairs, clicking through his phone as he walked into what was usually Fiona’s bedroom when Frank wasn’t around before sliding the door shut.

He placed the beer on the bedside table and turned on the lamp that dimply lit up the room before sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at Mandy’s number.

He continued to contemplate, taking a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. _Fuck it_.

Ian dialed the number and pressed the phone to his ear, reaching for the beer to take another swig as he waited for an answer.

“Hello?” Mandy’s voice rang, Ian put his beer down

“Hey, Lip get there okay?” he shakily responded

“Yeah he just walked through the door—Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Mands I’m good” Ian assured, “is Mickey asleep?”

“No he’s in his room watching movies I think. He doesn’t sleep much at night”

Ian wished that didn’t give him an unsettling feeling, “C-Can I talk to him?”

“Of course! You sure you’re alright though?”

“Yes, Mandy” Ian rolled his eyes

“Okay...well, take all the time you need with him”

“Thank you” Ian responded, biting his lip as he listened to the background noise of whatever was going on in her apartment. He decided to lay down, head against the pillow as he stared up at the roof, not sure what to say or anticipate from this conversation.

He stayed quiet, overhearing Mandy speak to her brother.

‘ _Hey Mick, you busy?_ ’

‘ _What does it look like?’_

_‘Shut up dickface, Ian’s on the phone’_

_‘Oh’_

Ian had to laugh at that. _Oh_.

The door seemed to shut and that was when Mickey brought the phone to his ear.

“Hey” Mickey’s voice spoke smoothly, Ian felt his throat tighten from emotion. He missed that voice.

“H-Hey” Ian’s voice strained

“Fuck, are you okay?”

“Yeah, Mick” Ian smiled softly, “I just—I don’t know if it’s from the beers I’ve had but I’m really fucking emotional right now. I-I miss you”

Mickey sighed, “I miss you too, so fuckin' much”

Ian sniffed, blinking back tears, “it’s nice hearing your voice”

“Yeah, yours too”

They went silent for a moment, wanting to say so much but not being able to find the words.

“I’m—” Ian paused, “Are you scared?”

“What for?”

“About tomorrow”

“No” Mickey’s reply was blunt and a blatant lie. He didn’t want Ian to worry, “Are you?”

“Yeah” Ian huffed, “I’m scared I’ll fuck it up”

“No, Ian” Mickey sighed, “we’ve gone over it more than enough times, you’ll be okay”

“I just have this really shit feeling, Mick. I can’t fight it” he admitted, his tears on their brink

“I know, baby, I know” Mickey’s voice grew soft, almost soothing, “but we got this, remember?”

Ian nodded, feeling his throat tighten again, “I-I know”

“Good” Mickey exhaled, “How’s things anyway?”

“Okay, I guess. I hate it here" he sniffed, "Fiona and I are sort of making up, and work is good. What about you?”

“I hate it here, too” Mickey confessed, “I can’t really do much, I spend too much fucking time on the internet and stress that I’m not as ripped as I used to be. I’ve been telling Mandy to buy me some weights but she doesn’t fuckin’ listen to me”

Ian chuckled, “You look incredible no matter what”

“You have to say that, asshole, you’re my boyfriend”

“True, but to me you do look good no matter what”

Mickey huffed as if Ian had left him speechless.

“Internet, huh?” Ian continued, “I thought Mandy told you to stay away from it”

“I don’t give a fuck, she’s not my mom” he laughed, “it’s so weird, man. I was stalking Twitter and apparently, I have fans”

“Fans?” Ian repeated with confusion

“Well a lot of people are defending me and talking about it, so I guess that means I have fans”

“Holy shit, Mickey. You’re famous” Ian joked

Mickey scoffed, “Yeah, famous for being a criminal”

“Don’t worry, once this shit is over with things will go back to normal” Ian assured

“What is normal? Have we ever had _normal_?”

“Not yet, but we will. Remember, I have a plan” Ian told him with a smirk

“Jesus fucking Christ, you and your fuckin’ plans” he breathed, “anyways, I’m looking forward to it”

Ian smiled, “me too”

Ian moved onto his side and grabbed his beer, taking a swig before lying back down, silence between them once again. All Ian could hear was the TV in the background.

“What are you up to?” he wondered, now rolling onto his side, facing the window.

“Watching Van Damme—was thinkin' ‘bout you”

“Such the romantic” Ian laughed softly, secretly blushing over his boyfriend’s loyalty.

“Shut the fuck up” Mickey laughed, “What are you doing?”

“laying on the bed alone while everyone is downstairs getting drunk. I felt like I was suffocating” he explained, wishing to say what happened with The Alibi Room and Svetlana, but he didn’t want to make a father worry over a son he couldn’t see. Not right now, anyway.

“Ah, sucks. I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, I only wanted to talk to you”

Ian could sense Mickey’s smile, hearing him move between the sheets of his bed to lie down.

“ _I wish you were here_ ” Ian whispered, looking at the space next to him in the bed, “I’m so lonely”

“I know” Mickey sighed, replying softly, “ _I just want to be with you right now_ ”

Ian smiled fondly, “I can’t help but imagine how good it’d feel to have you here—your warmth next to me, holding me”

“Then pretend I’m there next to you, holding you and keeping you warm”

Ian closed his eyes, trying to paint a picture in his mind, “are you thinking of me?” he whispered

“ _Yes_ ” Mickey hummed, “I’m imagining you here, running your amazing fucking fingers through my hair, your lips on mine”

“ _I fucking love you_ ” Ian let out with a shaky breath, “I want you closer”

“Then imagine me closer” Mickey instructed, “unbuttoning your shirt just to feel your bare chest against mine”

As Mickey spoke, Ian used his free hand to undo his shirt as he played along, “I wanna trace my hands up your spine as my lips press to your skin”

“And I’ll roll you onto your back— _roll onto your back for me_ ” Mickey whispered as Ian obeyed, “and I’ll get on top of you” he breathed, moving onto his stomach, “and we’ll start to grind against each other”

Ian exhaled, palming his already hardening crotch as he pictured Mickey on top of him, “are you groping yourself, too?” Ian wondered, moving his hand in an agonizing slow motion.

“Uh-huh” Mickey breathed, voice muffled from how his head pressed into his pillow, “ _you feel so fucking good”_

“ _Fuck_ ” Ian moaned softly as if he couldn’t believe this was happening, “You sound so amazing, I want to slide my hands to your ass and tease you, I want to hear you moan my name”

“ _Ian…_ ”

Right now was the wrong time for Mickey to leave him speechless, but that’s what he had done. Ian bit his lip, tugging at himself harder. He wanted to get lost in Mickey, he wanted to forget who he was and why he was upset. He needed Mickey closer somehow.

“Now, imagine my hand making its way down your pants” Ian continued to paint the picture, “Touch yourself for me—pretend as if that’s my hand, jerking you off slowly”

“ _Fuck_ ”

“I want you to touch me” Ian breathed, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling down the zip.

Mickey moaned, “I want to tease you first, run my hands down your body, my lips kissing your shoulder as I whisper how fuckin’ _good_ you’ve been to me”

“S-Shit” Ian huffed, not sure he could hold off from touching himself, his heart beginning to race at the thought.

“I trace my hand lower and finally wrap my hand around you, pumping you so fucking slow you beg for more”

As Ian followed the instructions, he let out a groan, “ _More, please._ I love how you feel around me, do you love how I feel around you?”

Mickey hummed in response, “I love rocking my hard cock into your hand”

Ian smirked, trying not to break character from how dirty they were being. But it felt so good and Ian was so eager to hear Mickey's sweet voice as he came.

“I love how you rock into me. I want you to go faster for me, can you do that?”

“Fuck, yes” Mickey whined, “ and I tighten my grip on you and pump you harder”

Ian did exactly so, rolling his head back at the pressure. He started to lose himself in the sounds, thrusting up into his hand as he imagined it were Mickey instead.

“You feel so fucking amazing, Mick” Ian gasped, “I wish I could see how fucking beautiful your face looks right now”

“Holy—” Mickey became muffled, biting into his pillow

“I can’t wait till I can see you again so I c-can just pin you down and give you my all” Ian panted as Mickey moved onto his back.

“can I go faster, _please?_ ” he begged, “I-I want you to fuck me so good, I miss your touch so fucking much I’m fucking aching”

“Uh-huh” Ian pumped his hand faster, “W-When I see you I’ll fuck you so good you’ll forget I was ever gone. I’m going to worship every-fucking-inch of your skin. I miss the t-taste of you, baby, I want you so fucking bad”

“Oh fuck!” Mickey tried to keep quiet, “I-I’m so—”

“S-Same” Ian panted

That was when the dirty talk went silent, the pair of them focused on the movements and how good the other sounded through the phone. They continued to act as if the other were next to them, just making love with the rawest passion they always had.

They didn’t even have to indicate what was next, knowing by how heavy their breathings were that they were both so close. Muffled moans and profanities filled the air as that fire sparked, they came together, trying to keep quiet as they muttered sweet, dirty nothings about how good the other felt.

Their breathing slowed down and started to laugh at how wild they had become.

“Never done it like _that_ before” Mickey spoke, so relaxed as he continued to chuckle.

“I know, guess that’s what happens when we don’t fuck for how long?” Ian wondered, reaching for some tissues to clean himself off.

“Two weeks”

“Fuck” Ian huffed, “no wonder”

“I know”

“Plus side is you just fucked the drunk out of me” Ian laughed loudly

Mickey nearly gasped from shock at that statement, “You did not just say that”

“But I did”

They both laughed again, Ian zipping up his pants as he spoke, “I’ll come by tomorrow after the hearing, okay?”

“You fucking better, the dog misses you”

Ian smirked, sitting up as he held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he did up his shirt.

“I’m guessing he’s not the only one who misses me”

“Shut up” Mickey chuckled, making Ian smile wider before he sighed

“Shit, I miss you already”

“You have to go?” Mickey spoke, disappointment in his tone

“Yeah, soon. Otherwise they’ll come looking for me and I don’t want them to know I’m talking to you”

“Yeah, Yeah, that’s fair” Mickey sighed, “I just wish this was fuckin’ easier”

“I know, me too”                          

It went quiet for a moment before Mickey decided that the conversation was over and started to make say his goodbye’s.

“Alright, I guess I better let you go”

“Wait, Mick!” Ian spoke up, his chest already aching.

“What?”

“I love you”

Mickey just exhaled and Ian hoped that he was smiling, and wasn't feeling the same heavy weight on his shoulders that he felt.

“I love you too” Mickey replied softly, “more than you’ll ever know”

Ian felt his eyes sting as his prior emotions came rushing back. This just wasn’t fair. Mickey hung up without saying another word and Ian held his phone to his chest, repeating the last words Mickey had said inside his head. He knew those would be the last words he heard until tomorrow was over, he just couldn’t wait to be back by Mickey’s side again.

 

It took Ian a while to find the effort to embrace the world downstairs once again, coming out of the bathroom calmer than before and more refreshed thanks to a splash of cold water.

Just as Ian reached the hallway, Veronica quietly stepped out of Frank’s room and closed the door behind her. Ian hoped she wouldn’t notice him, but she locked onto him immediately, giving an empathetic smile.

“Hey, honey” she greeted softly, placing a hand on his cheek as she walked by, “you feeling better?”

“Hey V, yeah. Still nervous but a bit better” Ian admitted

“That’s good! I just put the girls to sleep so try not to be _too_ loud”

“Of course” Ian chuckled

Veronica just smiled, making her way back down to the living room as Ian headed in the opposite direction, wanting to head down to the kitchen for another beer.

Just as he reached the top step, he heard his baby sister call for him

“Ian, is that you?”

_Dammit_

“Y-Yeah” he replied hesitantly, making his way over to her room. He leaned against the doorframe, watching Debbie as she tucked in her sleeping daughter, “What’s up?”

“Can we talk for a minute?” she asked softly

Ian shrugged, “sure”

He helped himself inside, sitting down next to her on the king-single bed before looking over at Franny who slept peacefully.

“God, I can’t believe how much she looks like you”

Debbie huffed, “yeah, it’s hard to believe I made that”

“Well you did, and you’re doing an amazing job” Ian felt the need to remind her. His little sister just smiled in response.

“So, are you nervous for tomorrow?” she wondered

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Well, you’ve been a bit off ever since you told us”

“It’s not just because of nerves, Debs” he sighed, “I just had to deal with it alone. Fiona was against it anyway and everyone has their own shit to worry about”

“Fiona has never agreed with whatever we wanted, don’t worry about her”

Ian had to laugh, “I know”

“Good, because I understand how much you loved him” she told with a slight smile before looking down as if she was thinking of what she actually wanted to tell her brother.

Ian smiled at first, glad that she and Carl always understood this, but her sudden silence concerned him and he furrowed his brows, trying to comprehend what possibly caused this shift in her mood.

“What’s wrong?”

She hesitated, biting her lip as she looked up at Ian, “I have to tell you something that’s made me feel guilty for a while—like, 4 years”

“What?” Ian became more confused, “what are you talking about?”

“I was here that night when Mickey tried to kill Sammi. We had created the plan together”

Ian’s jaw dropped, unable to find the words to describe his reaction. He wasn’t mad, but he obviously wasn’t pleased about it.

“We didn’t mean to try and kill her, it was just meant to be a slight torture and a threat to say that you don’t fuck with _our family_ but after Mickey drugged her she looked and felt, well, dead”

Ian just nodded along, willing to listen and understand as he swallowed the uneasy lump in his throat.

“I freaked out and Mickey came up with the idea to put her in the shipping crate—I honestly wanted to say something to the police, but I knew I was possibly pregnant and Mickey didn’t tell them anything about me being there”

“Shit” Ian sighed

“I-I’m so sorry, Ian. I really thought he’d be okay and I was a coward, I should’ve said something. I felt so bad when you started crying at his sentencing—”

“Debs, it’s fine” Ian tried to assure, despite how the memories ached, “That was so long ago now and I don’t think you stepping in would’ve changed anything. It would’ve just put you in danger too and Mickey wouldn’t want that for you”

“You sure it’s okay?” she questioned despite Ian’s reassurance

“Yes” he told her simply, grabbing her head to press a kiss to her temple, “now stop freaking out and let me do the worrying, okay?”

“Okay” she exhaled, “Just—you guys deserved better than this”

“I know” Ian muttered

“and now you don’t even know where he is—”

“Debbie, stop” he laughed it off, “the last thing I want to do is think about that”

He got up from the bed and held his hand out.

“C’mon, let’s go downstairs and have a last drink before bed”

Smiling slightly, Debbie reached for it as she stood, “okay”

Ian guided her out of the room and they made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Debbie went straight to the fridge as Ian leaned against the counter.

“Are you coming tomorrow?” he wondered

Debbie turned around and passed him the beer as she opened her own, “Yeah of course”

They exchanged a smile as she closed the fridge door, making their way into the living room to join their friends and family.

 

By the end of the night, Ian felt better than he did in the beginning. He wasn’t certain things would be okay, but after speaking to Mickey and spending time with his family he was more at ease of the whole situation.

He couldn’t lie though; he was still terrified of the possibilities and probably wouldn’t get much sleep tonight considering how many times he had been going over his notes, but he needed to be prepared.

Ian honestly just hoped the case wouldn’t last more than one or two days, and that Mickey would be found not guilty in the end. He just wanted this to hurry up and skip to the good part—he just wanted Mickey in his arms again with nothing to worry about.

But that would be a while, and Ian was doomed with his thoughts for just a little while longer. He just hoped he could handle it all, he had to stay strong. For himself, for Mickey, for Yevgeny, and even for Chico.

He had to stay strong for whatever future would come to be.


	30. Chapter 30

It was here, the day Ian had feared.

He fought the pounding in his head as his eyes strained to open. The first thought to enter Ian’s mind was Mickey, and what today would bring. He couldn’t help but wish this were simpler as he rolled over with a groan, reaching for the hoodie that held the scent of whom he loved.

_It will be okay_ , he tried to remind himself, _you’ve got this._

Despite the thoughts of reassurance and motivation, all Ian wanted to do was lie here. He wasn’t sure how many hours of sleep he had managed to get, but he knew it wasn’t enough. He nuzzled his head into Mickey’s hoodie and sighed, closing his eyes in hopes to catch a few more minutes of rest.

His instant sleep was broken by the sound of the door being pulled open. Ian’s heart raced, pulling the hoodie under the sheets so no one could question it.

“Ian, you up?” Fiona wondered,

“uh-huh,” Ian responded blandly, looking over his shoulder to her always pensive stare.

“Good, breakfast is downstairs and you’ll need a shower before we go,” she stated simply before walking out the door.

Ian rolled his eyes with a groan, wishing this shit could just solve itself, but then he remembered what was at the finish line, and somehow that was enough to get him to sit up. Even though he dreaded today so badly, he didn’t want to let Mickey down again. He wouldn’t allow himself to.

 

After breakfast and taking a shower, those nerves of reality bubbled to the surface once again. Ian had spent majority of the morning unable to believe today was the day, but once he started to get dressed into his nice pants and a button-up shirt, it truly started to settle in.

He went over his mentally-prepped notes, focusing on what he will say in possible scenarios.

‘ _No, I was not home that night, but I saw her chase him with that gun_.’

It was simple things like that, but he didn’t want to forget anything important. The thought of fucking up was causing his neck to quickly grow tight, or maybe that was from how he had managed to absentmindedly button up every button of his blue-collar shirt.

“Ian!” Fiona’s voice called down the hall,  _Shit._

“You ready? Debbie just picked Liam up from—” Fiona paused, a tight smile on her face, “look at you!”

Ian awkwardly stood, unsure what to do of himself as Fiona made her way over, “Why have you always been so bad at dressing yourself?” she remarked with a laugh, reaching to undo the first few buttons.

“I can dress myself its just—I’m—”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah,” Ian sighed,

Fiona nodded, “well you wanted this, remember that.”

“Not helping,” Ian grumbled, looking at his sister who shrugged, patting his chest.

“I said I’d support you, but I’m not going to stop being honest with you.”

The younger brother let out a sigh, knowing he didn’t have it in him to fight her today, but he had to appreciate the fact that she could put her own opinion aside for one day to be by Ian’s side.

“Thanks for being here for me, anyway.”  

Fiona beamed, “you’re welcome, and I have to admit, you’ve handled everything pretty well.”

Ian responded with a smile, not wishing to say _‘I told you so,’_ in case something worse erupted, Fiona continued, “Let’s get down to the car, Lip said he’d meet us there.”

“Okay,” he nodded, “Mandy coming?”

“Not sure,” she shrugged, heading out of the room, “probably!”

Taking a deep breath, Ian caught himself in the mirror. He was surprised by how youthful he looked despite the anguish and paranoia that lingered inside of him. Ian wasn’t sure how he managed to look so calm whilst a fire was raging within him; He was so determined to fight for this, and that passion inside of him wasn’t something he could easily hold back. He was going to see Sammi today for the first time in years, and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to stop himself from saying or doing something he would very quickly regret. He just had to remember to _breathe_.

As he made his way downstairs, Ian continued to think deeply about what was to come and how he ended up here. If Sammi didn’t make that call, or if Ian wasn’t trapped at the Military base overnight, he probably could’ve stopped it. He would’ve told Mickey it wasn’t worth it, or that they could get revenge on her _together_ , but it was too late for that now. They had to fix the mess they had made.

Ian grabbed his jacket—even though it was heating up outside—before running out the door and slamming it behind him. The silver SVU waited by the sidewalk with his family inside. As much as Ian wanted to dawdle, he didn’t want to risk Fiona getting annoyed at him and quickly made his way through the chain-link gate to the car, opening the door to instantly be greeted by Fiona’s pestering.

“Take your time,” she huffed, “you got everything?”

“The lawyer does,” he quickly explained as he got inside, closing the door behind him before looking back at where Debbie and Liam sat, Franny in her car seat between them, “You guys good?”

“Yeah,” Debbie smiled as Liam nodded. Ian smiled back, feeling his stomach drop as Fiona started the car.

_This was it, this was happening_.

Nerves trembled Ian’s body more than ever before. He had never felt so anxious in his life, despite saving people for a living and having them literally rely on him for survival, this felt so much more stressful. It felt harder, somehow, because this was all on him now and he could so easily let Mickey down again. He didn’t want that, he wanted Mickey to survive and for their relationship to thrive.

Ian hated how light traffic seemed for a Chicago morning, or maybe it wasn’t, but everything seemed to move faster with each dreaded second. He just had to get over this anxiety and get on with it, trying to shake away his doubts as he found himself only minutes away from the courthouse.

The car stayed quiet as the radio blared, Ian hearing Liam hum along in the backseat as Fiona turned the corner. They were here. Ian honestly felt like throwing up, but this wasn’t the right time to think about how he felt.

Fiona pulled up into a spot and the family kept quiet as they got out of the car. Debbie got Franny from her seat as Liam hopped out and Fiona made sure to grab a hold of his hand. As Ian got out, he wished he had the time to have a cigarette, but he couldn’t, so he closed the door with a heavy breath, waiting for his family to catch up as he slowly headed up the steps to the Criminal Court.

Ian kept his head down as he continued to make his way, avoiding the stares of people nearby. They knew why he was here, and he could feel their eyes burning through him. He then felt a gentle grip on his hand and looked to find Debbie’s freckled fingers. He just gripped tighter, looking up to meet with her sympathetic stare. He just smiled slightly, assuring that he would be okay. 

Once through the door, his eyes instantly locked onto Lip and Mandy who sat looking just as nervous as Ian felt. They were the only ones to understand the extremes of what was going on, and their support helped him tremendously—the entire family’s support did—Ian just wished Carl was here to support him, too. He missed that kid.

“Hey!” Lip called out as he and Mandy stood to greet the family as they approached, all taking the time to hug one another. Ian received a big bear hug from Lip first before turning to Mandy, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he whispered in her ear, “How is he?”

As he pulled away, Mandy seemed to cower, looking to his eyes solemnly before smiling. She was trying to cover up a deep worry she had. Ian’s lips parted, trying to find the words as he began to worry, too. He didn’t want Mickey to not be okay, but before he could question it or Mandy could try to explain, another voice overtook the conversation.

“There you are!” Alfonso called as he made his way over, “I’ve been texting and calling you all morning!”

“What?” Ian responded with confusion, turning to him before Lip interrupted.

“Sammi’s hearing started a half-hour ago,” Lip informed, “we were waiting for you to show up.”

“O-Oh,” Ian replied. He suddenly felt naked and completely baffled, he had no clue what was going on.

“But we’ll head in now, see you in there,” Lip casually continued, patting Ian’s shoulder before his entire support system hurried off to the courtroom.

Alfonso stood there and shook his head, “I told you to get here an hour before so we could go over everything and see Sammi’s hearing first.”

“I-I know, I’m sorry,” Ian continued to stutter, “I completely forgot, I was too wrapped up in everything—”

“I thought you would be,” Alfie sighed, “I was freaking out! I called you too, but you wouldn’t pick up.”

Ian furrowed his brows as he reached into his pockets to realize he had forgotten something, a sudden memory of his phone and packet of cigarettes sitting on his kitchen counter appeared in his mind, “Shit,” he muttered, “I forgot my phone.”

Alfonso immediately rolled his eyes, “well we’re really running out of time now,” he stated, pulling Ian away from the crowd to speak to him quietly, “we need to go over the notes one last time.”

Ian remained completely lost by everything that was going on, “what do you mean? We went over them yesterday?”

“No, not just that,” Alfie’s voice lowered, “I’m talking about how this will play out.”

“You know that?” Ian’s brows raised,

“I’ve done this enough times to know, trust me.”

Ian huffed, “alright, so how is this going to work?”

“This time there’s a jury to make sure things go right. Sammi’s trial will be easy, there’s enough evidence to prove her crimes, they’ll add another 5 to 7 years to her sentence for extortion. They’ll sentence her today, as for us,” he screwed up his face, shaking his hand as if it were wishy-washy, “There’ll most likely adjourn ‘til tomorrow since there’s not enough to prove Mickey tried to kill her. If we return tomorrow, that’s when you’ll be called up to the stand, they probably won’t do that today. If there’s still nothing to prove it, they might throw out his case and he’ll walk free—”

“Well let’s hope for that, then!” Ian beamed, but was quickly shut down,

“He might still get charged for being a fugitive, though, but if the court goes easy on him then he’ll be fine.”

Ian took a deep breath, nodding as he absorbed the information. He hoped that they would drop Mickey’s fugitive status as well, but he couldn’t think about that right now, they had to take this one step at a time. Ian had to focus on this current moment, because it was time to prove Mickey’s innocence.

“C’mon, let’s slip inside just in time to see her sentencing,” Alfie smirked, nodding towards the long hallway to the rooms.

 

The door creaked as they carefully made their way inside the quiet courtroom, Ian’s eyes widened at how the pews were filled by members of the public, before quickly noticing the table to the left where groups of journalists sat, taking their notes.

It wasn’t until they started creeping their way down that people started to notice who was in the room. Ian’s throat felt tight, but this time it wasn’t from the buttons. It was from the attention and knowing that his late arrival could easily be reported, but what caught his eye was the woman who stood in front of the judge wearing blue prison garments. Her head was held high, her dead blonde hair up in a bun. _Sammi._ Just the sight of her made Ian’s blood boil, he tried to fight his agitation as they reached the front row where his family sat.

Ian took his seat next to Fiona who instantly reached for his hand. Ian smiled at first, but couldn’t take his eyes off Sammi and how she kept her strong composure, he knew she would crack eventually. She looked like a shaken-up soda bottle; calm but ready to explode at any moment.

As the jury made their way back into the stand, the judge moved her attention from the paperwork in front of her to where Sammi sat with a lawyer who was completely different to the one she had last time. He was younger, unable to control his anxiety as his hands were unsteady beneath the table. Ian could relate.

“Ms. Slott, is there any last statements you’d like to make before the jury announces the verdict?” Judge Schofield asked in a strong, powerful voice.

“Yes, your honor” Sammi’s pitchy voice replied as she stood. Ian’s face showed a sign of disgust at the sound of it, “I know nothing at this stage would make you think differently, but I need you to know that I am just as much as a victim as Mickey is. I’m just a mother, who was trying to get revenge on a family for taking my son away from me, and Mickey is just a boy who loved an insane, wanted criminal and sought revenge once he was taken away, too. If anything, the people who are guilty here are the Gallagher family,” she began to cry, looking over to lock her eyes on Ian.

Ian’s eyes were instantly like a wildfire, whilst Sammi’s were a flood.

“This family fucks up anyone who comes into their lives,” She stated, looking back to the judge, “and all I want is to watch my baby boy grow up into a fantastic young man, but I will never experience that now because of the chaos they caused—” she cut herself off, looking down as she faked a break down.

Ian just snarled under his breath, trying to resist the need stand up and object to everything his half-sister was saying.

“I just hope you keep that in mind, your honor,” she sniffled, “I’m just a mother, and if you’re a mother too, you’ll understand how you’d do anything for them and would hate to be away from them for so long.

The judge sighed, pulling her hair behind her ears as she leaned forward on her podium, “Ms. Slott, I’m sorry, but we have to move on to sentencing now,” she spoke matter-of-factly, not even taking in what Sammi had to say as she nodded.

“Members of the jury, how do you find the defendant?”

A member of the jury rose from their seat and Ian sat up straight, eager for the results. Those seconds felt like minutes, even though he was more than sure of what would be called out, he couldn’t help but panic. Fiona kept her hand in his, allowing him to squeeze tightly without complaints.

“Guilty.”

Ian’s eyes lit up, unable to believe what he had just heard, but had to quickly focus on what the judge was saying.

“—based on evidence shown before the court, you, Samantha P. Slott, have been found guilty for the Attempted Murder of Mikhailo A. Milkovich, as well as Extortion against Bruce W. Stevenson. You have been sentenced to a _minimum_ of 30 years in secure prison.”

_30 years?_ She would never bother anyone ever again, Ian felt like he could finally breathe. Everything was working out and Sammi Slott was getting what she deserved.

“Your honor, please!” Sammi let out an aching sob, the shaken soda popped and overflowing now as the policemen were quick to restrain and cuff her, “I won’t survive!”

The judge pounded the gavel, raising her voice, “That's enough! Do you want me to give you more time!?”

Sammi’s weeps echoed the courtroom, her shoulders shrugging as she stared to the ground, mumbling, “no, your honor”

There were no further questions after that and she was sent away, her tired eyes glaring in Ian’s direction one last time. Ian didn’t let it affect him, glaring back just as hard to let her know there was nothing she could do that could keep him apart from Mickey or his family. Everyone was better off without her, even the son she boasted about who is happier with his grandma on a commune far away from her manipulative mess.

* * *

After a quick break, the court began to assemble into place for the next case—Mickey’s case.

Ian was petrified, it were as if he had stage fright. His family gave him hugs that he could hardly lean in to before watching his lawyer rise from his seat, completely calm and prepared for what was to come. It helped ease Ian only a little bit.

“You want to come stand with me?” he offered, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He could probably see the beads of sweat on Ian’s forehead despite this room being so cold, but he had to put his panic aside for a moment to take a breath and remember why he was here. He shook his head and replied, “no, I need to do this.”

Alfie responded with an empathetic smile as Mandy rubbed his back, “You’ll be fine,” she whispered, “just remember what you’ll get out of this.”

Ian turned to her, smiling the slightest with a nod. She was right, he would be fine. He needed to stop freaking out. As Alfie nudged for him to hurry up, Ian turned and made his way to the front of the court without hesitation, taking his seat behind the defendant's table with his lawyer who laid out the paperwork in order.

Leaning onto the table with his forearms, Ian tried to stay focused on his hands and twiddled his thumbs, but he just couldn’t ignore the presence of the press staring at him and the camera pointing at him from a corner in the room. This story was going to blow up. Ian never thought he would fear attention. Hell, he used to dance in gold booty shorts every night for men to drool over him and see him as an object, but why isn’t this just as easy? Maybe it was because it wasn’t his body that was vulnerable this time, but his soul. Everything about Ian and Mickey’s relationship and their mistakes were going to float to the surface for thousands—if not, millions—to see.

Yeah, that was more terrifying. Luckily news is only relevant while it’s current, so hopefully in a few weeks this dies down and Ian could go back to a normal life with Mickey again. _Hopefully_.

“All rise!”

_Shit._

Ian could feel his stomach dropping at the sound of those words, beginning to rise with the room as the judge who dealt with Sammi’s case returned for Mickey’s, the jury came out with her to sit in their spot and the case immediately began.  
  


The judge barely made contact with Ian the entire time, but was more than aware of who he was, making remarks about him a few times as the lawyers battled over the case. Ian just sat there and tried to take everything in, as well as trying not to freak out by the journalists taking notes, or the cameras on his face.

All the technical talk about the man he loved was tough for Ian to take. His knuckles turned white from grasping the oak table so hard, he was finding it difficult to breathe as he stared down into the distance until his vision blurred and started to think about Mickey as he slowly tuned out. He wondered how Mickey must be feeling right now, was he on edge like Ian? or was he just lazing about, ignoring that today was the day his life would possibly change?

Then Ian remembered his interaction with Mandy when he arrived this morning. Why was Mandy so worried when Ian asked about Mickey? It couldn’t be anything bad, right? Mickey would be okay, he’s always okay. He’s so strong, and knows they’ll get out of this fine. He was more sure than Ian was when they spoke last night, did that suddenly change?

Ian snapped himself out of it, he couldn’t afford to worry more. Mickey is probably fine, and now Ian was telling himself to just _shut the fuck up_ and tune back into the current moment.

“—isn’t it true that there was no evidence of flunitrazepam in Ms. Slott’s system?” Alfie questioned the detective behind the stand.

“Correct. Statements show that there is no evidence of the flunitrazepam drug in her system—”

“Objection, your honor!” the lawyer representing the state stood, “Flunitrazepam is a drug that is hard to detect in the blood system.”

The judge pounded the gavel, “Overruled! Mr. Sulkin, Detective Seymour is reading a statement. Unless you have official documents, you can wait until he’s finished to make further comments”

Ian looked over at the young lawyer that went bright red in the face, taking his seat without another word before Judge Schofield requested for the Detective to continue.

“Ms. Slott claimed to have woken up in a crate to which a neighbor confirmed since they opened the crate to let her out. But there is nothing to suggest that Mikhailo was the culprit—According to Mr. Milkovich’s original statement, there was tension between them after Slott called the Military Police on Milkovich’s boyfriend at the time, Ian Gallagher, as a way to get revenge on the Gallagher’s for getting her son arrested for drug charges.”

Ian stared at the detective, finding their story spoken out loud hard to place. Saying it as facts took out the emotions and the fear both he and Mickey felt by having their relationship torn apart after finally figuring out. Ian had to take a deep breath, trying not to worry that they could possibly be ripped apart again.

“Mikhailo continued to claim that Samantha pulled a gun on him for wanting to help her put boxes in her moving crate, which was confirmed by residents of the Gallagher household. In another claim, Fiona Gallagher stated that it was more than likely that Samantha Slott framed this incident to further hurt and humiliate the family. According to her, Ms. Slott is manipulative, cold, and once shot their father, Frank Gallagher, in the arm for not falling for said manipulation. There is a scar on Mr. Gallagher’s upper arm that proves this,”

Confused, Ian looked back at his family; more specifically, Fiona. Why didn’t she tell Ian she made a statement? Why was she so helpful back then but was now so disapproving of what Ian was trying to fix? Was it because Mickey was convicted? If so, why couldn’t she see the signs that he could’ve been wrongly tried?

It didn’t make sense to him. Then again, Fiona _then_ and Fiona _now_ were two very different people. The older sister gave him a soft, appreciative smile before nodding for him to turn back around, as if to say, _you got this_.

With a sigh, Ian did exactly so, and listened to all the information that was shared publicly with the press, as well as all the strangers in the room who were intrigued by this case. He had heard enough, he just wanted to skip the anticipation and get to the answer. He wanted to hear that his boyfriend was not guilty. He wanted to finally be happy, safe within Mickey’s arms.

Everyone raised once again as the judge and jury made their way into a separate room to discuss the case, sitting back down once they were gone.

“I told you everything would work in Mickey’s favor,” Alfie whispered, Ian smiled slightly,

“I know,” he whispered in return, “I just want this to be over with."

“Don’t we all,” he sighed, “it’s okay, they’ll come back with an inconclusive result and we’ll have to return same time tomorrow.”

Ian nodded despite there being a loud groan in the back of his mind. He just wanted this to be simpler, he just wanted to fall asleep and wake up when the verdict was called.

It took longer than necessary for the judge and jury to make their way back into the room. It was like they were trying to cause more agony and torture to Ian’s already anxious mind. He had grown impatient, trying not to fidget in the wooden chair that was more than uncomfortable now.

“Due to lack of evidence, the jury cannot conclude a result. The court will be adjourned until tomorrow with witnesses to discuss the case further, thank you” Judge Schofield stated, pounding the gavel as an indication everyone could leave.

Even though Ian thought it was more than obvious that Mickey was (somewhat) innocent, he knew the court was trying to be careful this time and do the right thing. Even though Ian hoped it would over with today, he was glad he could stop thinking about it. At least until tomorrow.

He honestly felt a bit better walking out with his family, some excitement flowing through his bones at the idea of seeing Mickey soon. Mandy and Lip came to walk by beside him, Lip leaning into his ear.

“Did you want to come over tonight?”

Ian nodded to avoid someone listening in.

“Alright, we’ll follow Fiona’s car so we can take you once you get your shit together.”

After those words, his family parted from him to go to their cars whilst Alfons made him stay back so he could give him a quick briefing on what would happen tomorrow. It was basically the same as today, but he wanted Ian to be prepared to speak on Mickey’s behalf.

“I’m ready,” Ian assured,

“Good, see you then. Keep your head down when you walk out there, there may be some reporters wanting to hear your opinion. Always wait 'til the end of the trial to comment,” the lawyer told him sternly with a quick goodbye, almost zooming away to his next case.

_Great,_ Ian thought, taking a deep breath before turning to find Fiona waiting for him. The way her eyebrows seemed to knot together indicated her worry. She must know about the onslaught of journalists waiting for him outside.

He started to make his way over and his big sister held her hand out for him the same way she did for Liam so he could safely cross the road, “You okay?” she wondered, as if she hadn’t asked that a thousand times today.

“Yeah,” Ian assured, grabbing her hand with a smile, “I will be.”  
  


Fiona kept a tight grip on her brother as they headed out the large doors of the criminal court. The siblings kept their head down, making Ian only capable of seeing the flashes from cameras surrounding him and the concrete steps at his feet. Questions started coming in left, right and center from reporters wanting a quote.

_“Mr. Gallagher, how did you feel seeing that video of Ms. Slott!?”_

_“Why did you wait so long to deal with this case when Mr. Milkovich has been missing for years?”_

_“Mr. Gallagher, do you have anything to say about what happened today?”_

The questions piled up to the point where it eventually just started to sound like white-noise in Ian’s ears. He felt like he was going to explode at the reporters from how they buried him, but Fiona dug her fingers so hard into his arm that it reminded him to keep steady, looking anywhere but the faces of people around him to find a clear path to safety. Fiona guided him, knowing that Ian’s mind wasn’t in the right state to get out of this on his own.

They didn’t even take the time to talk about the case, rushing to Fiona’s car where they got in quick. Debbie passed Fiona the keys so she could start the car with ease and they could finally get away.

“Holy shit, that was intense,” Debbie chuckled with disbelief before looking to her brother, “are you alright?”

“Yeah, Debs,” Ian easily brushed off, keeping to himself, “I’m more focused on getting home right now.”

She understood, squeezing his shoulder with a quick, “okay,” before attending to her daughter in her car seat next to her.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Fiona started as she kept her eyes on the road, “what you did today was brave. No Gallagher would ever do what you’re attempting to do”

“Thanks,” Ian mumbled, wishing to say more but withheld, keeping his eyes on the road as well.

“I still don’t think it was the right thing to do, but I am proud of you,” she felt the need to say again.

Ian leaned his head back with a sigh before looking over at his sister, wishing she’d just be quiet. But if she felt like talking, this may be the right time to ask, “you never told me you made a statement?”

“Of course, I did. I just didn’t tell you because you were going through so much shit at the time.”

“Well thanks. It helped.”

“No problem, although I must admit I never saw it coming.”

“You and me, both,” Ian admitted too, and they left the conversation at that.  
  


Once Fiona pulled into their street, Ian sat up in shock, his brows furrowed and lips thinning at the sight of reporters and their vans parked outside their home. He gulped, unsure what to make of this because,  _what the fuck?_

“What the fuck?” Debbie said what Ian was thinking, “is this allowed?”

“They’re not on our property. So yeah, Debs,” Fiona informed, pulling up in the vacant space out the front of their house. Ian undid his seatbelt, looking in the side mirror to see reporters and cameramen making their way over as if they were zombies looking for fresh meat.

“What do we do?” Debbie continued to ask, Fiona turned off the car and grabbed her handbag.

“What we already do. Ignore them.”

Ignoring them didn’t seem like enough for Ian, but it was what he had to do. He got out of the car, doing as his sister said by ignoring the strangers calling his name and repeating questions as he made his way through the gate. That was when he realized something was missing; where was Mandy and Lip? He turned around, trying not to make eye contact with those recording and taking pictures. Ian couldn’t see their car. Where the hell were they?

“Ian!” Debbie called out, “come on!”

Ian turned back around hesitantly and followed, he knew they couldn’t be too far away. This day couldn’t get more intense than it already had. Unless something was wrong with Mickey, and Ian really hoped that wasn’t the case. Everything would be okay, Ian will see him soon.

As Ian entered the living room, his siblings had made their way upstairs whilst Mandy and Lip came walking in from the kitchen, instantly relieving Ian.

“Where were you guys?” he instantly pestered.

“Came in through the back so we wouldn’t get ambushed,” Lip explained, “how’d you cope?”

“I’m not sure, it’s fucking nuts” Ian huffed as they met halfway. He looked to Mandy, lowering his voice so no one else in the house could hear, “Why did you give me that look earlier? Is he not okay?”

Mandy tried not to cower again, giving him an empathetic stare that nearly killed him, “he will be when you get there.”

“Why?” Ian started to worry again, “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing, okay? He just sleeps all day and stays up all night. And drinks a lot. He's like Superman without sunlight.”

“ _Fuck,_ ” Ian instantly breathed, but it felt like there were hands clasped around his throat stopping him. He hated this. He didn’t want Mickey to _not_ be okay.

Fiona got down the stairs and froze, instantly noticing the tension in the room, “Are you guys okay?”

Lip nudged for Ian to speak for the first time ever. Ian snapped back into reality and turned to his sister.

“Y-Yeah, I’m going to stay at Mandy’s with Lip tonight. Keep the zombies off my back,” he explained and Fiona nodded, placing her hands on her hips as she found it reasonable, but that frown of hers was still apparent.

“Okay, just be careful. Take care of yourself.”

“Fi, it’s a night, not 12 years,” Ian laughed, which felt foreign to him considering his current mood.

“I know,” she sighed, making her way over to hug him, “I just don’t want this shit to get into your head.”

Ian wrapped his arms around her, finding her sudden care for him odd. Prior to this she hardly cared for what Ian did, but now all she does is worry about him. 

“It won’t,” Ian seemed to promise as he pulled away from her embrace. She rested a hand on his cheek before letting him walk away so he could grab a few things. Mandy and Lip followed Ian up the stairs so they could help him get ready faster.  
  


Getting through the front door, Ian didn’t even take the time to get comfortable or take in what had happened today. He ignored Mandy and Lip as he made his way directly to Mickey’s room where the door sat ajar, only darkness peering through. His heart ached before his hand even grabbed the handle. He feared for the worst.

He pushed the door open to reveal the darkness to light. The smell of beer and cigarettes lingering as Mickey laid in bed, facing the wall. He didn’t even flinch, not knowing of Ian’s presence as he probably assumed it was Mandy begging him to get up again. That ached Ian more. He didn’t know what was wrong, or how to help. He stood in that doorway and let his chest heave as he stared, Chico’s paw scratching at Ian’s leg for attention but Ian couldn’t budge. This felt awfully familiar, but usually it was him in Mickey’s position, not the other way around.

The ache grew stronger and tears glazed Ian’s eyes as he thought to himself, _I broke him._ He took him too far, he confined him in a prison and let his demons take him over. He knew Mickey had been depressed before, but he had never seen him like this. Mickey was the type to keep these moments hidden deep inside, because he wouldn’t want people to know. But Ian knew, Mickey didn’t have to say anything for him to just _know,_ and Ian also knew he had no one to blame but himself.

Ian’s throat felt tight as he went to speak, _say something, say anything._

“Mick?” he strained before letting go of the handle and walking in, Chico still wagging his tail as he followed, “you awake?”

Now aware, Mickey peaked over his shoulder to be shocked by Ian’s silhouette. His heart was almost pounding in his throat at the sound of his voice. He found it hard to believe this was real, and that Ian was finally here after what felt like years of being trapped. He was almost embarrassed, he didn’t want Ian to see him like this. He was meant to shower and clean his room, but now Ian was just becoming a witness to the tragedy he was.

“I was never asleep,” Mickey replied as he sat up, pulling the blankets off him so he could stand up, “I didn’t realize how quick the trial would be.”

Ian furrowed with worry as Mickey got out of the bed, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mickey muttered. His body seemed to strain from being in bed for the past few days, but Mickey didn’t care, because Ian was finally here. Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey’s bare torso and Mickey engulfed himself in Ian’s aura, tangling his arms around his neck as he pressed his lips lightly to Ian’s jaw, “I missed you so fucking much.”

Ian huffed, a bittersweet smile on his face as he nodded, pressing his face into his shoulder.

“I missed you, too.”

They stood for a moment, just silent as they clung onto one another like they were the air they breathed. They swayed, a slight chuckle emerging as Ian moved his head to rest his chin on his shoulder, he could feel Mickey’s once tense body ease in his grip, but Ian remained worried through his smile, eyeing the room to find nothing but empty beer and whiskey bottles. He wasn’t sure whether to be angry or sad.

Mickey was losing himself being stuck here, being consumed by the media and not knowing what was next. Ian couldn’t find it in him to leave Mickey alone anymore. Mickey needed him, and he needed Mickey. There was no way he could go back home now.

Mickey pulled away, sensing Ian’s sudden tension, “You okay?

Ian looked down at Mickey and sighed, “yeah, are you?”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured, slightly melancholic as he sunk down onto his bed and reached for his cigarettes, lighting one up.

Ian sighed, knowing well their reunion shouldn’t be this way. Chico nudged on his leg once more and Ian finally gave his attention to the pup, crouching down to say hello and pat him all over as Mickey lit his cigarette.

Mickey hesitated for a moment, exhaling the smoke in his lungs, “How was it?”

Ian looked up at Mickey from the ground, “boring,” he admitted, “was more worried about you.”

“Why were you worried?” Mickey questioned, and Ian didn’t want to tell him, at least for Mandy’s sake.

“No reason—I just wanted you to be okay, is all.”

“Well I am—”

“ _Mick,_ ” Ian sighed, turning on the bedside lamp as he stood up, “I know you don’t leave this room.”

Mickey inhaled his smoke and looked down, wishing that weren’t true, “Mandy tell you that?”

“No,” Ian bluntly replied, “I _know_ you, and this _isn’t_ you.”

Mickey tried not to let it overwhelm him, sniffing to hide the way his eyes stung, but he couldn’t bury this down anymore. He looked up at Ian, eyes so frightened and raw it almost killed Ian to see, “because I’m so fucking scared,” he admitted.

Those words instantly brought Ian to his knees so he could be face to face with Mickey. He grabbed the cigarette from Mickey’s fingertips and put it out so he could rest his hands upon Mickey’s pale cheeks.

“It’ll be okay,” Ian whispered soothingly, “the trials are going amazingly, Mick.”

“It’s not that!” Mickey croaked, “it’s what comes after. We never thought of what comes after, it's all I think about, and I have this really shitty feeling inside, as if this will all come tumbling to the fucking ground like it always does for us.”

“I get it,” Ian promised, nodding as he wiped tears from Mickey’s eyes before they had the chance to fall, “I’m shit scared too, but we have to take this one step at a time, okay?” Ian stared into Mickey’s eyes as if he were searching for something as he whispered, “ _I’m so sorry to have done this to you_.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Mickey responded just as soft, pulling on Ian’s t-shirt, “I did this to myself.”

Ian shook his head to disagree but Mickey placed his own hands upon Ian’s jaw so they could just stop the pity party and remember what was more important.

“I love you,” Mickey whispered, “you are so fuckin’ important to me, Gallagher. You know I’d go through this a million times just so I can have _this_ ,” he spoke, his eyes admiring the delicate shapes of Ian's face.

Ian smiled sadly, unsure what he did to ever deserve a man so powerful and loving as Mickey Milkovich.

“I love you,” Ian returned, sliding his hands to Mickey’s neck so he could rest his forehead against his, just taking it in.

“C’mere,” Mickey breathed, leaning in to finally feel Ian’s soft lips upon his after weeks apart. They almost didn’t feel real, so supple and gentle as they motioned longingly for one another. Ian inhaled, moving to straddle himself on top of Mickey. He missed Mickey so much and couldn't help but exhale as he took in the sensation of those fingers running along the nape of his neck, noticing how perfectly their lips fit together.

They continued like this for a while, just holding onto one another as they just kissed, not at all concerned for either of their siblings or the world around them. This was perfect, and made them feel a way nothing else could.

It wasn’t until something Ian sparked that caused him to take it further, sliding his tongue gently along Mickey’s lower lip which Mickey allowed, their kiss escalating as Mickey’s hands slid down the back of Ian’s jeans, grasping what was the soft, freckled ass of his beautiful read-head boyfriend.

That was also when Mickey started to feel sad. All he wanted was to have sex with Ian after so long of being apart, but something in him just couldn’t. The world was just so heavy on his shoulders that not even the thought of Ian fucking him could make him forget it. Mickey slowly pulled his lips away and removed his hands to rest them on the curve of Ian’s hips. Ian was too into it to notice, leaning in for another kiss but was instantly brought back to reality when Mickey turned away.

“I’m sorry,” Mickey exhaled, and Ian began to worry.

“What?”

“I’m just—not in the mood,” Mickey sighed, ashamed as he looked to Ian’s eyes, “you mind if we just chill here?”

“Of course, not,” Ian assured with a gentle smile, moving off Mickey to relax onto the bed. Mickey started to feel a bit better thanks to how accepting Ian was of him, laying down besides the man he loved. Ian just looked up at Mickey with so much love in his eyes that Mickey couldn’t help but smile. For the first time in weeks he had a genuine, happy smile.

It felt so good to have each other by their side, and even better when their Labrador jumped on the bed to join the moment. They felt like a family, and for this now they just put their worries aside to remember that.

Ian looked down at Chico who lay between his dads who were patting him from ears to back. He seemed happy to have his family back, too, and Ian just had to grin at that. He moved his eyes from Chico to admire his boyfriend once more who’s eyes were focused on the pup, but once he felt those eyes on him, his attention made their way to Ian and in the silence of this room, they just enjoyed one another’s company.

“What are you thinking about?” Mickey whispered softly as he noticed Ian’s eyes daydreaming into his.

Ian shrugged, a slight smirk on his face as he replied, “Whatever you’re thinking about.”

“Dick,” Mickey huffed a laugh before abruptly stopping, “Wait, no! I didn’t mean that I was thinking about dick!”

It was too late, Ian was already rolling onto his back as laughter filled his lungs. Oh man, he loved Mickey so much.

“I meant _you’re_ a dick!” Mickey tried to reason, sitting up as his cheeks flushed. Ian kept laughing, and just the sound of it made Mickey laugh too because holy fuck, was this man adorable.

“Get over here!” Ian barked through his laughter and Mickey chuckled, climbing over the dog that lay between them so he could have Ian’s arms wrap around him. Chico sat up and woofed in response, wagging his tail from the playful attitude between Ian and Mickey.

They looked over at Chico with bright smiles, “you missed this, didn’t ya?” Mickey chuckled, scratching the soft brown fur before Ian interrupted, pulling Mickey to look at him.

“I missed this, too,” Ian told him with a soft smile. Mickey bit his lip, looking to admire Ian’s vibrant hair as he ran his fingers through the soft waves slowly. He also missed this. He had missed all of this.

Ian just stared up at Mickey so admiringly, taking in every detail of his face before lightly stroking Mickey’s forearm to make sure this wasn’t just a dream, and that Mickey’s warm skin really was at his fingertips. They both felt good, at least for now. Mickey knew that his demons would come to haunt him again eventually, but Ian took his mind away from it for the time being and for that, he was thankful.

Mickey’s eyes moved from Ian’s hair to meet with those green eyes. They shared a smile and Ian leaned up, the two sharing a light kiss before a knock came at the already opened door.

Frightening the couple, it broke the kiss and they looked to where Mandy stood, not caring about the position they were in.

“Sorry!” She apologized, embarrassed, “I just wanted to say that we’re getting lunch soon.”

“Okay,” Mickey sat up, “guess that gives me time to shower.”

“What are we having?” Ian wondered, propping up on his elbows.

“Don’t know,” she shrugged, “Lip said he’d surprise us.”

“ _Great_ , last time that happened I ended up sick for two days,” Mickey complained, making Ian laugh.

“This won’t be like last time,” she assured with a smirk, “now go get in the shower, you fucking stink.”

“I do-fucking-not!” Mickey whined. Mandy gave Mickey a sarcastic look in return, “I showered yesterday!” he continued before looking at Ian, “Do I really smell?”

Ian smiled kindly, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek, “no, you don’t. But a freshen up might do you some good.”

“Alright,” Mickey muttered, making his way off the bed and flipping off Mandy on the way out. Mandy returned the favor before leaning on the doorframe, watching Ian who was now tackling Chico with belly rubs.

“You guys sounds like you’re having fun,” she pointed out.

“You eaves dropping, Mandy?” Ian grinned.

“Kind of hard to ignore when the door is wide open,” she chuckled, “you really going home tomorrow?”

“Realistically, probably not,” Ian huffed, looking over at her, “It’s too insane _out there_ , I’d rather be here.”

“I don’t blame you,” Mandy sighed, going to sit on the bed so she could give Chico a pat, “but what if they find out you’re here?" she worried, "And then they find Mickey?”

“ _Mandy_ ,” Ian sighed softly, bringing his voice down to a whisper, “ _I can’t stand the world without him._ ”

Mandy stared understandingly with a nod, placing her free hand on Ian’s cheek, “I know.”

Ian didn’t say anything else, looking back at Chico to play with his floppy ears. Chico moved to rest his head on Ian’s lap, making Ian smile as he continued to pat him softly. Mandy couldn’t fight her own grin as she got up, just letting Ian have this time to himself and made her way out of the room.  
  


When Mickey finished his shower, he wrapped a towel around his hips and was already starting to feel better. Ian was right, it was what he needed. He wasn’t feeling 100% okay in his head, but taking it from the outside in did help in the slightest way.

He stepped out of the steamy bathroom only to step into the somehow slightly warmer apartment, thanks to the weather that was making its way through the city. Ian attentively turned from the armchair he sat in so he could look over at the man he had missed so dearly. His eyes gazed upon Mickey’s body and Mickey had to grin, making his way to the back of the armchair where he held his hand out, “What are you watching?” Mickey wondered as Ian grabbed a hold of his hand, running his thumb in circles.

“Nothing yet, trying to find something.”

“Okay,” Mickey replied, his fingers scrunching up Ian’s hair as he started to make his way to the bedroom, but then he heard something that stopped him in his tracks.

‘ _The case to bring missing fugitive Mikhailo Milkovich has been adjourned after the jury could not come to a conclusive decision,’_

“Shit,” Ian muttered, going to change the channel. He didn’t want to hear what the media had to say, but Mickey rushed over and grabbed the remote so he could hear it. _“Mick,”_ Ian seemed to plead, but Mickey didn’t listen, making his way to sit on the couch to find out what happened.

Mickey sat, leaning his elbows on his still damp knees as he listened to the report. Ian shaded his eyes from the shame, just waiting for them to show something videos of him both in and out of the courtroom.

_‘Ian Gallagher, the ex-boyfriend of the fugitive stayed quiet as he sat where Mikhailo should’ve been,’_

Ian looked up to see a clip of him staring into the distance with a look of torture in his face. That wasn’t so bad, at least it showed what this meant to Ian, even though Ian knew that wasn't a look of worry about the case, but more a look of worry for his boyfriend who was cooped up in this apartment all day.

Next was a clip of him and Fiona walking down the court steps, the question, _‘Why did you wait so long to deal with this case when Mr. Milkovich has been missing for years?’_ clear as a bell, making Ian give a look of distaste as he watched himself remain emotionless. Ian didn’t like being seen this way, he looked like an asshole who was in too much pain to care for the public’s opinion. He didn’t care, that was a fact, but to see it on TV made it come off way colder than it really was.

“Fuck, you look hotter on TV,” Mickey complemented despite the context, Ian looked over at him with confusion.

“Thanks? I think I look like a ass,”

“A _hot_ ass,” Mickey noted, making Ian chuckle as he shook his head.

“Jesus Christ.”

_‘Despite Mr. Gallagher’s silence, he is expected to be called to the stand tomorrow as a witness, and will finally share his point of view on the alleged wrong-trial of Mikhailo Milkovich … Back to you, Davina.’_

That reminder made all these walls feel like they were starting to close in on him. Ian tried to ignore his fear but it was haunting him regardless. He worried he’d fuck up and say something wrong that could be used against Mickey’s innocence.

“Ian,” Mickey started, reaching over to place his hand on Ian’s thigh, “you alright?”

Clearly, he had noticed by the look on Ian’s face that he was overthinking everything again, “Yeah, Mick,” Ian replied plainly, trying to give him a smile so it wouldn’t worry him.

Mickey furrowed his brows, wanting to say something else but was interrupted by the front door opening. It was Lip with his hands filled with brown paper bags  and a tray with drinks from a takeaway shop.

“Hey! Got us Shake Shack, didn’t know you guys would’ve wanted so I got a bit of everything.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ian replied, getting up to remove himself from Mickey’s confrontation. Mickey sighed and stood up, making sure his towel stayed in place.

“I’ll go get dressed,” he stated, walking to his room. Ian just nodded, going to help Lip set the table.

“How’s he been?” Lip wondered, pulling out the burgers.

“Fine,” Ian shrugged.

“And you?” Lip wondered again, brows raised as he passed him a packet of fries.

“Also, fine” Ian muttered pulling them from him to put a fry in his mouth. His stomach grumbled, making Ian realized he was starving.  
  


Mandy and Mickey came out of their rooms at the same time to join their boyfriends at the table. This felt familiar to Ian, reminding him of the night after they met with Alfonso, but this time there wasn’t much discussion, and more of them just enjoying food as they rambled about things that weren’t important. Lip and Mandy didn’t want to open the can of worms that was the trial, leaving the couple to sit together and enjoy their meal peacefully.

“What shake do you have?” Ian wondered with his mouth full,

“Chocolate, why?” Mickey responded, biting on his fry.

“Can I taste? You can try mine, it’s vanilla.”

“Alright,” Mickey smirked, and they both picked up their milkshakes and held in front of one another, the couple sipped the drink and enjoyed the difference in flavors. When their eyes met, they couldn’t help but chuckle and pulled away as they swallowed it down.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Mickey remarked, “wanna swap?”

Ian didn’t want to, but when he looked at the drink then back into Mickey’s pleading stare, he just had to give in. He took one final sip of it to savor the flavor before trading it for the chocolate milkshake. Mickey winked at him as a way to say thank you before indulging in another gulp of the drink. Honestly, Ian wasn’t even annoyed, he was too lovestruck to even care about something as insignificant as a vanilla milkshake.

“When all this is over, we should celebrate, go see a movie or something,” Mandy suggested and Ian sat still, concerned that would bring the happy feeling of the room down, but Mickey remained surprisingly positive.

“Sounds fuckin’ good to me!” Mickey cheered, and the siblings started getting into a conversation about what movies they were looking forward to before Lip joined with his own thoughts on what they should do for the first night Mickey was free.

Ian just couldn’t shake the fuzzy feeling within him, he was happy, and the rest of the day was destined to be perfect. Ian didn’t want tomorrow to come and he wanted to relive these moments forever and ever. Of course, he’d wake up tomorrow and face the music but for now, he just enjoyed the tiny utopia he had found in this hopeful apartment, Mickey finally by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da!!! Finally, after over a month, it's finally here. 
> 
> I am so deeply sorry for taking so long. A lot happened personally in the past month and I was struck with writer's block. Thankfully, it's easing away and I'm finding it easier to be creative now that my life is back on track <3
> 
> Thank you so much for being so patient and for sticking around. I really hope this chapter made it all worth it, hopefully the next chapter is up soon! (It shouldn't take a month, that's for sure.)
> 
> I've also received messages in the past few weeks pointing out grammar/punctuation mistakes (which was bound to happen since I do a lot of my editing at night when I'm close to passing out) but I wanted to note it here to let you know I will be going over previous chapters to fix these mistakes. I will also be trying to not stress myself out and take my time in perfecting these chapters. After all, quality is more important than quantity.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for sticking around! And please let me know what you think :) 
> 
> See you next chapter! xx


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the editing isn't perfect, it's 5am and I'm just too excited to share this chapter with you :) But I will go over it again when I wake up and fix anything I missed x

It felt so good to wake up besides one another during the chaos to find a moment of peace, Ian and Mickey couldn’t even remove their tired gazes from one another. The couple just admired what they could see thanks to the light breaking through the open door.

They weren’t sure what time it was. Maybe around 7am? Either way, it was early and neither of them had slept long enough because their hearts felt far too full and happy from being together again after so much time apart. Because of this, they felt rest didn’t matter (even though it did) but neither of them wanted to miss a second of _this_. This calm before the storm that could easily sweep them in so many directions depending on what happened after today.

It was moments like these that brought a nostalgic feeling to Mickey’s stomach, just like certain smells can take you back to your childhood. Maybe it was just from Ian being here and the heat in the air from the early summer heat, but this reminded him of Mexico—and not the Mexico he had shared with André, but the one he shared with Ian. Flashbacks played in his mind of the bright white bedroom, the way the sun made Ian’s hair glow, the warmth of the ocean air flowing through the window and luxurious bed sheets that wrapped around them. As well as how his mind spun over the fact Ian defeated all the odds to come all that way to get him back.

Looking back at it, it felt like a dream. From when he was arrested to now, it was all so surreal to Mickey, but now Mickey was slowly coming out of his twisted nightmare. He finally felt somewhat secure, like his life was finally returning to the way it was supposed to be, and it felt good. He just couldn’t wait for this all to be over so things could remain calm for once and finally live a good life with Ian without drama; although that was likely impossible, but he tried not to think too much about it.

“You’re quiet,” Ian mumbled. Mickey smiled slightly and rolled onto his back,

“Yeah, I’m just—” he let out a sigh and looked over to Ian, “do you ever miss Mexico?”

“I missed _you_ and how we were in Mexico,” Ian huffed, “Ironically, it seemed simpler.”

Mickey nodded, “I know, we had no fuckin’ idea. I just miss the beach, the freedom, the—”

“Fucking?” Ian smirked and Mickey rolled his eyes rather playfully, because _well,_ of course he misses that too.

“Not what I was gonna say, asshole,” he chuckled before sighing, “I was going to say I miss how close we could be without overthinking every little thing. I mean, maybe you did, but for me it was so easy to live in that world. Now I’m cooped up in here overthinking everything and bracing myself for the worst.”

“Shh…” Ian soothed, moving closer to run his fingertips through Mickey’s hair. Mickey just had to smile.

“I feel better now you’re here,” Mickey confessed, “I dunno how, but after yesterday you managed to convince me we’d be okay.”

“We will be,” Ian assured once again, even if it was likely to be a lie.

Mickey reached his hand up and ran his fingers along Ian’s jawline, leaning up to press his lips against Ian’s to which Ian instantly sunk into. Their lips motioned slowly as Mickey’s fingers moved to clasp into Ian’s hair whilst Ian’s fingers glided down the side of Mickey’s neck to rest upon the tattoo on his chest.

Ian pulled away to move his lips to Mickey’s jaw, inhaling his beautiful musk as he continued to kiss down his neck, moving himself under the sheet to straddle himself onto Mickey’s bare hips. They were lucky the heat made them decide to sleep naked last night. Mickey let out an exhale, tilting his head back as he continued to feel his way down Ian’s back while Ian continued to kiss, teasing the spot with a touch of tongue. The sensation was driving Mickey wild.

Mickey smirked softly, shutting his eyes, “You sure we got time for this?”

Ian pulled away, and quickly reached for his phone on the bedside table. His eyes squinted at the bright light as he read out, “7:45, we got time.”

Placing the phone back down, Mickey laughed lightly as Ian leaned over him. He stared up at that gorgeous crooked smile, his heart beating faster from the anticipation as Ian began to whisper.

“This kind of reminds me of Mexico,” Ian admitted softly, grabbing Mickey’s hands to hold them above his head as he began moving his hips to grind on Mickey’s, “the heat, the adrenaline of keeping quiet,” Ian hissed as Mickey let out a moan, his voice grew quieter, “feeling your skin on mine after being apart for so long.”

“Shut up,” Mickey gasped as he braced himself upwards to press his lips to Ian’s and pull him down into the kiss. Ian let go of Mickey’s hands and tangled his fingers in his dark hair whilst Mickey’s fingers lingered down Ian’s chest. The two got into a heavy make out, their tongues twining as passion ran through their veins. They just breathed the moment in, continuing to rock into each other at a slow, sensual pace.

Ian pulled away and moved his way down Mickey’s body, his fingertips making sure to trace each curve as he made his way lower and lower, pressing kisses along the hipbone of his lover.

“I fucking love you,” Mickey whispered, looking down to catch those green eyes smiling back at him as Ian took Mickey completely into his mouth, not wasting another second of their time. He wanted to worship Mickey, tell him in more than one way that he loves him, too.

Mickey rolled his head back, his hand guiding Ian’s head up and down his shaft. It felt so good to have his dick in something that wasn’t his own hand, and the pure scent of Ian just increased his pleasure. Oh fuck, he was so good.

As they quickly heated up, Ian was losing himself in the moment, moaning around his boyfriend and moving in such a way that Mickey’s fingers were clinging to the sheets, his back arched as he bit his lip to prevent his moans. It didn’t take long, but neither of them had experienced a passion as intense as the one they shared for what felt like a lifetime.

Mickey could feel him creeping closer and Ian could tell, recognizing how Mickey’s chest heaved and how his hands were almost pulling the sheet off the mattress now. He instantly pulled away, bringing a wave of shock over Mickey as he sunk back down on the bed.

Before he could even process it, Ian was back up and smacking their lips together again, it was sloppy and raw, Ian accidentally nipping Mickey’s lip as he eagerly rummaged the drawer for the lubricant, Mickey didn’t even notice, just dragging the kiss even deeper than before.

Ian tried to multitask but became frustrated pulling away to look for the lube in the drawer. Mickey furrowed his brows, chest still heaving.

“No lube,” Mickey panted and Ian sighed, reaching for Plan B. Vaseline.

“This will probably hurt,” Ian murmured as he opened the tub to scrape out a healthy amount of the already soft ointment thanks to the weather.

“I ain’t no bitch,” Mickey smirked as he lay back down, watching Ian chuckle as he positioned himself between Mickey’s legs. Micky pulled his legs over Ian’s shoulders for easier access and braced himself as he felt Ian prepared them both.

Mickey arms wrapped around Ian’s neck as their eyes met with a loving and assuring gaze. Ian didn’t even hesitate, slowly moving inside as his lips pressed to Mickey’s once again. Mickey kissed back hard, trying to avoid the need to gasp as he relaxed into the sensation. He couldn’t believe how good it felt to have this again, and it didn’t take long for them to get completely into the rhythm of beautiful, incredible sex.

Ian moved to sit up, holding onto Mickey’s calves on his shoulder as he moved faster and Mickey leaned forward to reach for Ian’s hips, just pleading for him to go that slightest bit deeper as he groaned under his breath.

“C’mon Gallagher,” he muttered and as soon as Ian obeyed, he let out a whimper, “fuck!”

“Shut up!” Ian whispered, pushing Mickey down as he chuckled and placed a hand over his mouth, “you’ll wake them up!”

Mickey’s eyes stared with an intense lust as he nodded to say he understood. Ian grinned, resting his forehead onto Mickey’s as he worked his way in and out at a perfect pace, driving Mickey wild.

“You’re so good,” Mickey whispered, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, so much,” Ian exhaled, moving to press his lips to Mickey’s neck and Mickey shut his eyes, his fingers running down Ian’s strong arms as they wrapped around him.

When they were like this, so close without a care and little space between them, they always took in these moments as something to remember. It was just so important to them, and they never wanted to it to be over.

But then they were disturbed by the sound of footsteps approaching which caused them both to mutter profanities as they broke apart and pulled the sheet back over them. Mickey faced the door whilst Ian faced the wall and they shut their eyes and stayed dead silent, the only thing they could hear was their own thudding heartbeat in their ears.

Someone pushed open their door and quickly peered inside, Mickey couldn’t help but open his eyes slightly to recognize Mandy’s silhouette.

“Nope, not in there! Probably asleep in the sink,” she remarked to Lip as she walked out, leaving the door ajar as Lip responded from another room,

“Yeah, he’s in here!”

After a few seconds, the coast was clear and both men felt like they could finally breathe.

“Jesus Christ,” Mickey muttered as he opened his eyes and was quickly met with Ian’s arm wrapping around him, a hot kiss being pressed to his shoulder. That was such a close call Mickey almost wanted to stop, but he was throbbing from the desperation of needing Ian closer. He wasn’t sure he could leave this bed unfinished. Just the feeling of Ian’s length hard against his back was enough to get him near the edge.

“Do you wanna keep going?” Ian whispered, moving his hand under the sheet,

“Uh-huh,” Mickey replied, “don’t stop.”

Ian grinned and positioned himself, tangling his legs with Mickeys as he pushed back in with ease. Mickey sighed as he relaxed into it, his fingers intertwining with Ian’s as his arm wrapped around Mickey again, the pair began rocking in time with each perfect movement. He could remember the last time they fucked like this, but it felt incredible hearing Ian’s pants against his neck as his warmth surrounded him.

He shut his eyes as he used his free hand to pump his shaft as Ian worked harder. The two of them getting more and more into it as the pleasure increased. As Ian picked up the pace, he slammed perfectly into the right spot that Mickey almost cried out, his fingers tightening their grip on Ian as he felt himself burn hotter. Soft grunts kept escaping as he pumped himself in perfect timing, he knew this was almost over, and he had no plan on stopping.

Ian also had no plan to stopping, his burning desire even stronger as his movements became harder and Mickey rode each wave, his moans getting more passionate, but that was when Ian remembered their risk of getting caught and looped his free hand that sat beneath Mickey’s neck around to clasp his mouth so he would be quiet. He could feel how hard Mickey was breathing against his palm, slamming into Mickey at such a motion he was starting to go wild in his grip, rocking and shaking as he pumped himself faster.

Tears formed in Mickey’s eyes from the pleasure. He was so _fucking_ close and all he wanted to do was scream and give Ian exactly what he needed. He wanted to say thank you for being so _good_ , he wanted the world to know just how incredible this man was. But he couldn’t, and being held back only made him get that much closer, his orgasm came through so strong he couldn’t even feel Ian’s teeth digging into his shoulder as he reached his own orgasm only 0.01 of a second later.

It was the most beautiful thing to be loved and so comfortable that you don’t feel like you need to hold back. As they came down from the high, Ian pulled out and instantly flipped onto his back, breathless and bewildered from what had just happened.

Mickey collapsed beside him and stared at the roof with an unmovable grin. He had truly forgotten all his worries for that short moment, but more importantly, he got some time to be intimate with Ian before their lives possibly changed forever. Whether that was good or bad, he wasn’t sure, but for now he stayed focused on the man who lay next to him with that sweaty sex glow. Mickey couldn’t help but think about how beautiful he is and how his heart jumped when Ian looked over at him with that adorable, goofy smile.

“You good?” He wondered,

“Yeah,” Mickey chuckled, “by the way, I dibs first shower.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Ian barked, “you better go soon then,”

“Yeah, Yeah, I will,” Mickey waved it off, “just, let me settle first.”

Ian laughed and leaned over to place a soft kiss against Mickey’s lips that Mickey sunk into instantly, they continued to kiss lovingly until Ian broke away, just staring at Mickey as if he were just falling more and more in love with this beautiful man.

“I love you,” Ian told him with sincerity, making Mickey smile softly,

“I love you too,” he returned, tracing his fingers along Ian’s jawline softly. He just wanted to lay here with Ian forever, but that wasn’t possible. At least not yet, anyway.

 

After finally calming down from the love-making, Mickey made his way to the bathroom first, trying to avoid contact with Lip and Mandy at all cost while Ian put on some boxers and turned on the light before grabbing his duffle bag and searched for the clothes he wanted to wear today. The nerves were really starting to settle in now. Sure, today might be a bit easier and it looked positive, but Ian was known for fucking up a good thing. If he said one thing wrong today, this would all be over and he could end up in jail, or even worse, Mickey would be caught and sent back to prison as well.

“Good mornin’” Lip greeted from the doorway, “stinks like sex in here,” he casually commented,

“No windows,” Ian replied carelessly before pulling out his navy button up and black pants.

“Navy? If you start sweating whilst you’re lying, they might sense somethin’ is up,”

“Shut up, Lip,” Ian sighed, throwing his outfit onto the bed. He knew Lip was joking, but he needed to avoid those types of thoughts at all costs.

“Are you prepared? Do you know what you’re saying?” He continued to crowd him with these thoughts, making Ian tense more.

“Yes, mom. Jesus Christ,” he huffed,

“Mom? Since when would she be this caring?”

“Fine. _Fiona._ ” He mocked.

Lip laughed, “Good one. She’s coming today by the way—Mandy’s outside with Chico to get some fresh air then she’s makin’ eggs, what did you and Mickey want?”

“Really?” Ian was taken aback by that first statement, “I’ll have mine scrambled, and I’m not sure what Mickey would like.”

“Seriously? You’ve been together for so long and don’t know how he likes his eggs?” Lip responded with a hint of sarcasm as he walked away.

Ian just rolled his eyes and sat on the bed, not sure what to do with himself whilst he waited for Mickey to get out of the shower. He couldn’t be bothered dealing with the real world just yet and decided to reach for his phone, just mucking around on it for a bit before opening his text messages to see what he had ignored.

His thumb scrolled through his messages carelessly before stopping to see his texts with Daniel. Ian smiled fondly, he missed Daniel, but everything had been so crazy after leaving Mexico that he just hadn’t made the time to call him. Ian almost considered calling him right now, but decided it was far too early in the morning and that it could wait until he was stress free. Maybe he and Mickey could visit Acapulco again when everything’s fixed and see Daniel, but André probably wouldn’t be happy about that.

Mickey came into the room at the same minute Ian had locked his phone, fully dressed with damp, messy hair. Ian smiled up at his boyfriend.

“What’s up?” Mickey casually wondered,

“Nothin’” Ian shrugged as he stood up, “I’m just happy that I can finally take a shower,”

They both laughed before Mickey responded, “Well go on then, it’s not gonna fuckin’ wait for you,”

“Alright, Alright,” Ian chuckled, going to walk past Mickey before stopping in his tracks to grab a hold of his hips and looked at him, “Wait. How do you like your eggs?”

Mickey shifted his eyes, completely confused by the random question, “over easy?”

“Knew it,” Ian mumbled. Mickey continued to be confused by his boyfriend who quickly pressed a kiss to his temple as he walked out of the room, his mind clearly occupied by something else. More specifically, _eggs_?

As Lip took a seat at the dining table with his coffee and newspaper, Mandy walked in with Chico and took off his leash as Ian finally emerged from his room. Chico lit up, his butt shaking from how hard his tail wagged as he ran over to Ian who instantly stopped what he was doing to crouch down and say hello.

“Hey boy! You have a good adventure outside?” Ian asked, scratching behind his ears before pressing a kiss to Chico’s head.

Mandy smiled and hung the leash before turning back to Ian and the Labrador, biting her lip.

“Hey Ian, do you have any cash on you?” She asked hesitantly, “Chico’s running low on food and Mickey might need a few things.”

“Yeah, of course. Just remind me to give it to you,” Ian informed before standing, casually making his way to the bathroom. As he entered, he quickly turned around to look over at his brother, “by the way, he likes them over easy.”

The door shut and Lip snickered to himself, taking a sip out of his coffee. He already knew what Mickey liked, he just loved teasing his little brother.

“What was that about?” Mandy wondered as she pulled eggs out of the fridge,

“Nothing serious,” he shrugged as he got up from his seat, “Ian wants scrambled, by the way,”

Mandy nodded, “got it.”

He made his way over to his girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her waist, placing down his coffee cup on the counter as he told her simply, “Love you,”

Those words rarely left his lips, and it always filled Mandy with a type of euphoria. She smiled up at her boyfriend, a glisten in her eyes from the happiness she felt, “I love you too.”

They embraced in a soft kiss, their arms wrapping around one another as Mickey came out of his room with a laundry basket full of dirty clothes and his bed sheets. He instantly exclaimed with disgust at the sight, “No one wants to see that shit!”

Mandy broke away from the kiss and reached for the dish towel, “Shut up!” she exclaimed, scrunching it up and throwing it at him.

Mickey laughed as he quickly caught it, throwing it back as he made his way over, “You doin’ some loads today?”

A small silence fell between the three of them as Lip let out a laugh, “Sorry, is that meant to be a joke?”

“No, Jesus fuck—I meant loads of washing you idiot,” he returned, making Mandy’s eyes widen,

“Oh, my god. Just give me it, you’re both idiots!” She scolded as she snatched the basket from Mickey, “I’ll do it later today,” she told him as she went to put the basket by the door.

This was how most mornings were like in this apartment, Lip and Mickey butting heads but remaining civil whilst Mandy told them both to shut up. Lip and Mandy honestly couldn’t wait until Mickey could move in with Ian, nor could Mickey. It’s not like he wanted to stay here.

Mickey helped himself to a cup of coffee as he waited for Ian to get out and for Mandy to have breakfast ready. He made his way to the couch and huffed at the sight of Chico trying to play with Mandy’s cat Jasper who sat on the couch, swatting at his dog’s face, clearly not in the mood.

“Chico, no!” he told him off and Chico’s attention pulled away from the cat to go say hello to his dad. He jumped up and Mickey chuckled, patting his back with one hand as he tried not to spill the coffee in his other hand, “Yes, hi, hello, I love you too,”

He eventually got Chico off him when Mandy called him over for a treat and made his way over to the couch, sitting down and placing his drink down before turning on the television to watch Good Morning America.

Mickey looked over at the chubby ginger kitty that was now resting his head to sleep once again. Mickey ran his fingers softly through his fur which instantly made Jasper start to purr, comfortably sprawling out and rolling on his back. Mickey chuckled, gently rubbing Jasper’s big, fluffy tummy until the loud purring slowly went quiet and Jasper was finally asleep.

_‘—Missing fugitive Mikhailo Milkovich is to be sentenced today,’_

That’s when reality came to kick Mickey in the face, his eyes moved to the TV as Lip and Mandy also made their way over to watch what they had to say.

_‘his ex-boyfriend Ian Gallagher is expected to be appearing in court today to give his statement, as well as stand with defense lawyer Alfonso Encarnacion to represent Mr Milkovich in absentia._ _With only a couple hours until the trial begins, a media frenzy is already forming, as well as an audience of protesters who are calling the system corrupt and are passionate about Mikhailo’s justice.’_

The camera panned to show the protesters before cutting to multiple interviews of protesters with signs that said ‘ _#JusticeForMickey.’_ They were surrounded by microphones from different media outlets and it made Mickey instantly feel uneasy. He really didn’t think this would be a big deal. He couldn’t imagine what it’s like to be there, he didn’t want Ian to throw himself into that chaos. He wanted Ian to stay here where they could hide, stay protected and where no one would ever find them.

‘ _There was absolutely no proof!_ ’ the protester complained, _‘Samantha was ruled a narcissistic criminal, proven for committing multiple crimes. Mickey’s case should be dropped on that fact alone! If Mickey is ruled as guilty, then the city of Chicago has failed its citizens and those on the South Side dedicated to Mickey’s innocence.’_

“Holy fuck…” Lip muttered whilst Mickey sat frozen. He couldn’t believe how many people became passionate about this case.

‘ _—The real question that everyone is wondering is that if Mikhailo is given the not guilty sentence, would the court consider removing his fugitive status, or will he still have time to serve for breaking out of prison in 2016?’_

“What are you doing!?” Ian nearly screamed, running over in nothing but his towel to turn off the TV which stunned Mickey,

“What do you mean? What the fuck are _you_ doing!?” he argued,

“Mickey, you know that shit will get stuck in your head!”

“I’m fine—”

“Don’t—”

“Can you both just chill the fuck out!” Lip interrupted, “Ian, Mickey is capable of dealing with this. Don’t baby him because you worry for the worst. We’re all adults here, and he deserves to know what he’s getting you, and himself, into,”

Ian furrowed his brows, insulted by that remark which caused Lip to quickly backtrack,

“I’m not saying it’s Mickey’s fault!” He defended, “I’m just saying this is a very _real_ thing, and you _both_ need to face it, and get through it. Together.”

Ian fell silent now, realizing he had overreacted just a little bit. Truth was, this whole thing horrified him, and after how he found Mickey yesterday, he didn’t want him to go through that again. Plus, the thought of Mickey getting sent to prison stabbed him in a way that was indescribable.

He just wanted Mickey happy, and right now, looking between Lip and Mickey, he could see Mickey wasn’t alright with this. He can act as if it’s fine, but he looked so washed out that it concerned Ian. He couldn’t help being worried, and he wanted to keep fighting about it, but instead he suppressed it, saving his voice for the hearing.

“Fine,” he stated bluntly, not saying another word as he ignored both Lip and Mickey, making his way into his room to get dressed.

 

Breakfast was awkward to say the least. Reality had definitely dampened Ian's mood, and Mickey could easily sense that. He honestly felt bad for getting Ian upset, but he knew it wasn’t all his fault. He knows how stressful this is and that this entire case is being carried on Ian’s back because Mickey couldn’t do it himself. Mickey wasn’t even sure if he would’ve been able to handle this all by himself like Ian was. He just had to admire Ian’s strength and courage to do this all for the sake of Mickey and their relationship.

It still surprised him that after so long, they both finally approached their relationship with the same amount of dedication and love. That was the only fact that assured Mickey that this was it this time, and that they could get through this.

After breakfast, Lip and Mandy quickly finished getting their things together as Mickey sat on the unmade bed with Chico, watching Ian  as he quietly made sure he looked alright and had everything with him.

Mickey patted Chico and sighed as Ian slipped his phone inside of his pocket before going over to pat Chico goodbye. Ian went to just walk away but Mickey grabbed his hand, pulling Ian’s eyes to lock on him.

“Be mute all the fuck you want, but aren’t you at least going to give me a proper goodbye?”

Ian gave a tight smile, swallowing the tension that had been in his throat since before breakfast, “I thought you were mad at me,”

“Don’t be stupid, of course I’m not,”

Ian smiled with relief. He still felt like shit, but this helped him feel a bit better, “come here.”

Mickey smiled softly in return as he stood and they pulled each other into a comforting hug. Ian pressed his nose onto Mickey’s shoulder as he shut his eyes and breathed him in, enjoying how Mickey’s hands rubbed his back and his lips pressed to his neck.

“I believe in you, okay?” Mickey whispered, Ian nodded and pulled away with a sniff.

“Okay,” he sighed, running his thumb gently under Mickey’s eye, “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Mickey spoke softly before leaning up to give him a light kiss that they slowly sunk into, Ian’s finger’s tugging at Mickey’s shirt as if he were pleading for Mickey to come with him, but he couldn’t. He had to face this alone. But as everyone kept telling him, he’s _got this_.

“Ian, c’mon! We can’t waste time!” Mandy called out and the couple unwillingly broke away with a sigh.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Mickey assured, “you’ll be great.”

“Thanks,” Ian mumbled, pressing one last kiss to Mickey’s lips, “see you,”

“Bye,” Mickey whispered, watching as Ian walked out of the room, ready to face the shit-storm that the next few hours would bring.

 

It was worse than Ian could’ve ever imagined, and more intimidating than it seemed on television. There was an ocean-worth of civilians and journalists outside the courthouse, all here for Ian and for Mickey’s justice. He didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be invisible and for no one to look at him, but with each step he took, people were noticing the tall redhead that was making his way over, best friend and brother in tow.

Camera crews starting recording while the journalists began reporting. Ian put on a brave face and kept his head held high, avoiding the cameras best he could as they started flocking towards him. He couldn’t believe any of it was real, the sound of the protesters cheering as questions blended together into the sounds surrounding him. He channeled it out, not making eye contact as he reached the steps. It wasn’t until this moment he realized Lip and Mandy were pushing Ian through the crowd.

He tried not to focus on anything but the door, but he couldn’t help but look over at the protesters who were cheering him on. There were locals, people he had met and known over the years as well as strangers who just believed in him. He had to smile despite the weight in his chest, giving them a slight wave as he made his way inside. Once in the quiet, all he could hear was white noise.

“Ian!” Alfonso called out which snapped Ian out of his daze.

“We’ll see you in there,” Lip whispered as he began to lead his girlfriend in the right direction. Ian took a deep breath and walked over to his lawyer, trying to keep a confident stance as he greeted him with a handshake.

“Crazy out there, isn’t it?” The lawyer snickered, Ian huffed,

“It’s definitely not what I’m used to, that’s for sure.”

“That’s alright. After this is over everything will go quiet, at least until Mickey shows up again.”

Ian just nodded, unsure how to respond.

“Okay, let’s go into the interview room before the case so we debrief in there. You remember your defenses and your story?”

“Yep,” Ian nodded, “I got this.”

“Awesome, let’s head in,” Alfonso concluded as Ian followed his footsteps past the courtroom they were in yesterday to the interview room. He felt far calmer than he did yesterday. Sure, it was painful and Ian was freaking out over the statement he’d have to make soon, but he felt positive. He was sure that would likely change when he reached the stand, though.

 

The court gathered and it somehow felt far more crowded than it did yesterday. If Ian dared to look back from his position, he would feel a mix of stage fright and claustrophobia.

It felt pretty quick today, the hearing began before the anxiety could swallow Ian alive and he sat silently, frozen as even his own mind went blank for a moment. He found it hard to absorb the words being said around him, too focused on the words he planned to speak. He worried it would sound like lies, or too overdramatic. He worried his words wouldn’t be _good enough_. He worried of having a single slip up that would ruin this for everyone and send Mickey back to prison.

Of course, he worried, but that didn’t mean he was scared. At least not yet.

What was being discussed wasn’t too important to Ian anyway, it was just that shitty technical stuff lawyers discuss with the Judge. It wasn’t until they had finished with the witnesses that Ian started paying attention.

“--Ian Gallagher to the stands”

Ian could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he nodded at the brooding judge, making his way over and looking anywhere but the crowd as he stepped up. He already felt shaky as he placed his papers down. A guard approached with the bible and Ian quickly responded, taking the oath before the court proceeded.

The opposing Lawyer stood and faced in Ian’s direction and Ian made sure to keep the eye contact and listen carefully to what he said, answering simple _yes_ and _no_ ’s as they went through his statement.

“According to your statement, you were at the scene when Samantha Slott appeared with a gun, is that correct?”

“Y-Yes,” Ian awkwardly cleared his throat, “I was.”

The lawyer nodded and looked down to his paper, “And what do you recall her saying to Mr. Milkovich?”

Ian bit his lip, trying to remember, “She didn’t say much. She called out Mickey’s name and Mickey was shocked because she was pointing a gun at him so he ran and she started shooting at him, saying, ‘ _you’re gonna get fucked.’”_

“Is that all you remember her saying?” Judge Schofield interrupted,

“Yeah, I-I was a bit foggy that day, so I can’t remember much,”

“Why were you foggy?” She questioned, making his throat feel tight,

“I have Bipolar Disorder w-which was freshly diagnosed at the time, so I was coming down from some heavy lithium, and was also coping with some personal uh, demons,” He cleared his throat, and the judge just nodded for the lawyer to continue.

And he did, going through every other line of the statement for everyone in the room to hear. It was confronting and slightly humiliating for someone to be reading the facts as they were without mentioning the emotion behind it.

The attorney mentioned Ian’s intentions prior to Sammi’s confrontation—the break up—which stunned a lot of people in the room and Ian knew what they were thinking;

_Why would he care enough to fight for him after leaving him?_

Then those exact words left the lawyer’s mouth, causing Ian to freeze as Alfonso objected.

“—Your honor, that’s irrelevant!”

“Overruled!” She pounded, turning to Ian, “If you don’t want to, that’s okay, but if you wanted to deliver your final statement now, it would really help us understand you, this case, and the relationship you shared with Mr. Milkovich.”

Ian panicked, looking to Alfonso who gave a quick wink before sitting down. That’s when Ian realized this was his moment, and he had to take it before the jury possibly made the wrong decision.

“Well,” Ian breathed in deeply, standing up straighter as he looked down at his notes he had perfected a thousand times over, but it wasn’t good enough, he knew the best answers would be spontaneous and straight from the heart.

So, with the help of adrenaline, he got the confidence to look up from the papers, letting the emotions that were dulled in the original statement be resurrected.

“Mickey and I had known each other practically our whole lives. We grew up together, we hung out, fought, drifted, before meeting again and eventually, we fell in love. What a lot of people won’t tell you about Mickey is that he is a _good_ guy. He’s loyal and loves his family, he protects anyone—even those he hates—from danger. He did some bad things as a kid, as we all did, but this wasn’t him,”

“Sorry, Mr. Gallagher, how do you know?”

Ian turned to face the defense lawyer and replied, “Because for once in his life he was happy. He had finally come out, his homophobic, abusive father was put in prison and we were finally _free_ ,” Ian chortled, feeling his eyes glaze, “We fought so hard to finally be together, we were a _family_ , so much so that I imagined his son _Yevgeny_ as my _own_. He was in a good place, and I know he wouldn’t deliberately risk that for anything,”

Ian had to take another breath to calm himself before he dove into the hard bits,

“But then, I had a psychotic episode. That was our biggest test, I think, but he was so _patient_ and _loving_ , you know? He wasn’t the criminal I originally fell in love with, he was a genuine person who saw a future for himself, with me, but everyone would rather focus on who he used to be—As much as I don’t want to admit it, he took care of me during my darkest days, and I’m sorry to my family but sometimes he was the only person who actually _cared_ ,”

“This doesn’t explain why you left him, Mr. Gallagher,”

“I left him—” Ian cut himself off, reminding himself to keep calm as he continued, “I left him because my mother who shares my disorder made me believe I was nothing but destructive, and that no one could love a _fucking mess_ like me. I got scared, like always—I’m a _fucking coward._ I truly believed Mickey deserved better than me and I treated him horribly in our last moments so he’d let me go. But the thing that sparked this was _Sammi_. Mickey and I had sorted what we thought was our biggest test, and then Sammi called the Army MP’s on me for something I did whilst manic, which pulled us apart again. I ended up in military prison, and I felt like I was back at ground zero, and it only got worse when I thought the only person to help me out of it was my mom—Listen, I’m not sure what happened while I was away, but I didn’t leave Mickey because I _didn’t_ love him. I _do_ love him. After almost 10 years of obstacles, this isn’t a love I can just let go of,”

Ian paused, but everyone in the room remained silent, so he continued,

“I don’t know about you, Mr. Sulkin, or if you’ve ever shared a love for someone so profound, but I have, and I’m never going to _not_ fight for this. Even if he’s _dead_ or miraculously ends up going back to prison, I’m not letting go. It’s already been proven to you that Sammi is a narcissist who was having a tantrum because her daddy didn’t love her, and this hearing is about to prove Mickey’s innocence because he was nothing but loyal, and would never pull something dumb like this to break us apart, even if it did end up the way it did.”

After another pause with no interruption, Ian had decided that was good enough and let the judge know before being dismissed back to his seat. From there, the jury left to discuss the verdict with the judge, leaving Ian waiting for what felt like years.

There was no discussion to be had during these moments. In a room packed to the brink with people, there wasn’t even a whisper to be heard. It was as if everyone was holding their breath, anticipating Mickey’s sentencing and the words ' _not guilty_.'

Thankfully, it didn’t take that long. Ian wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing, but his heart raced with the reminder that he was here and that this was the moment. What happens next all depends on this moment, and he just couldn’t wait for it to be over.

“Mr. Gallagher, is there anything you would like to say on Mr. Milkovich’s behalf before we move on to sentencing?” Judge Schofield questioned,

“No thank you, your honor,” Ian respectively declined.

These next few minutes were futile, and Ian could feel his body becoming fidgety and impatient. They went over just a few more technicalities before officially moving on, to which Ian silently rejoiced. 

As the Judge raised her gavel, she began her almighty speech, “by the power invested in me and the evidence displayed before the court today, I declare Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich—”

Ian crossed his fingers under the table, _please, please, please, please._

“ _Not guilty!”_

The gavel pounded and the whole room cheered. Finally, Mickey was free and Ian couldn’t stop beaming his bright smile. He couldn’t explain the warm feeling that fizzed throughout his whole body, but he was beyond euphoric. He had never felt so grateful in his entire life, then came the word to bring him back to earth.

“But,”

His smile faded, paying attention to what she had to say,

“He still escaped prison, so if he is found alive, he will still be arrested for being a fugitive. I don’t want this to scare you, Mr. Gallagher, because even that can be fought, but we must obey the law and that is why I am telling you this. I admire your commitment to get him home, and I hope for your sake he does return, but I’m just warning you that if he were to come back, it’s not going to be easy,”

Ian nodded, understanding even though he wished it were simpler. _He always wished it were simpler._

“But after hearing about what you’ve been through, I’m sure you’ll make it out okay.”

“Thank you, your honor,” Ian rasped with a smile. Despite the way that unsettled his fuzzy feeling.

 

The court was dismissed and everything felt like a blur after that. He was just so overwhelmed with happiness he pushed the negatives out. He couldn’t recall the conversations he had with his siblings after everyone walked out of the room and hardly remembered helping Alfonso pack up his things.

But once they walked out of the courtroom and could hear the loud voices outside, he returned to reality. Everything was so surreal, but Alfonso tried to keep him focused.

“Now that it’s over, it’s a good time to give one last message to the press that will help them happily conclude until Mickey returns. Also, if he does return, it’s likely he’ll go to you first, right?”

“U-Uh, I guess?”

“Well if he does, tell him to turn himself in and then contact me. If he turns himself in, it looks better and he may get less time.”

“ _Time?_ I don’t want him to do any more time!” Ian stressed, feeling his eyes sting at the thought,

“I’m sure he’ll be fine but just to be sure, alright? Now, let’s get out of here so we can finally relax and celebrate our victory!” Alfie beamed as he gracefully made his way out the door.

Ian just watched from afar how calmly he handled the press, but all Ian felt like doing was letting the tears that glazed his eyes release, but he shook it off for now, wiping his eyes as he braced the door. The sooner he dealt with it, the sooner Mickey would be back in his arms.

As he pushed open those doors, the roar of the crowd that cheered and begged for answers overcame him to which he embraced it, allowing the overwhelming feeling to swallow him now as the reporters grasped his attention.

“Mr. Gallagher! How do you feel now that Mr. Milkovich is free?”

“I’m overwhelmed,” Ian chuckled tearfully, “but happy, and thankful that Mickey has the justice he deserves,”

“What are you going to do now that it’s over?”

“Right now,” Ian paused, “I’m just going to focus on life and hope that one day Mickey will come home, because all I want is to see him again,” he gave a soft smile, “thank you.”

He walked away, ignoring any further questions as he got pulled out of the crowd with the help of Lip and Mandy. It all began to blur again as he quickly said goodbye to his family and rushed into Mandy’s Jeep where his best friend and brother took him exactly where he wanted to be, with Mickey.

 

As the elevator dinged open, Ian ran across the hall and busted through the door of the apartment, not even allowing himself to think as he ran over to where Mickey paced in the lounge. They didn't even have the chance to say hello as Ian excitedly tackled Mickey with a tight hug. Mickey smiled wide and squeezed back with a chuckle.

“You right, there?”

“We did it, Mick!” Ian cried, “We actually did it!”

Mickey continued to smile, happily swaying in Ian’s grip as he rested his head on Ian’s shoulder. He was so happy to be back in his boyfriend's arms, but his smile couldn't help fade slightly, because while Ian was right, this was still far from over, and Mickey couldn’t fight that dark feeling inside him that this would turn on them sooner rather than later.

For now, however, he buried that feeling, making sure that Ian remained happy each and every second until the time came to finally face the last round of this obstacle they were in.

“Yeah,” Mickey finally replied softly, “we did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da!!! Sorry it took so long again. Life's been a bit full on these past few months and I bumped into some writers block along the way :( I also found the court scenes really difficult to write so that's another reason it took a while. I hope you can forgive me though, because I'm so excited for what comes after this chapter, and I know you will all love it!
> 
> Thank you as always for being so patient, it means the world. I hope you enjoyed this chapter x


	32. Chapter 32

_‘Locals are still on a high after wrongly convicted fugitive Mikhailo Milkovich was proven not guilty! As you can see behind me, there are protesters still partying at the Alibi bar in the city’s South Side. However, the partying may not last much longer as the angst of Mickey’s disappearance settles in. It was revealed yesterday that if he were to return, he could still be charged for breaking out of prison, here’s what his ex-boyfriend, Ian Gallagher, had to say.’_

“Oh god, why are you making me watch this?” Ian whined, watching through the spaces between his fingers. Mickey had to laugh, putting down his cup of coffee so he could place his hand on his Ian’s shoulder.

“Because you were fucking amazing!” he enthused,

“Really?” Ian wondered, removing his hands from his face to look at Mickey.

“Yeah, man! You kept your shit together, and your statement was the cherry on top,” he continued, letting go of Ian now,

“Well, thanks,” Ian laughed, surprised by how happy Mickey seemed. By now he’d expect some type of pessimism or worry about what was next but there wasn’t, he was just happy that the case was over, and that relieved Ian.

Mandy and Lip came through the door only a moment later with some pastries and a stack of newspapers, quickly saying hello to the animals that greeted them before making their way over.

“Look at this!” Lip said as he threw the newspapers down, “You’re on the front page of nearly every newspaper in Chicago.”

“Holy shit,” Ian huffed as he and Mickey grabbed some to look at.

Photos of Mickey’s mugshot and Ian walking down the stairs of the court were plastered over majority of the covers, with bold headlines shouting at them, ‘ **NOT GUILTY!** ’, ‘ **EX-LOVER SUCCEEDS IN PLEA FOR FUGITIVE’S JUSTICE** ’, ‘ **HEY MICKEY!** ’

They had to chuckle at the third one. Mickey threw down the paper he held to grab his coffee as Ian continued to read, curious to see what they said about him and Mickey. There was so much material here he’d be busy for a while, that was until Lip disturbed him from his reading.

“When do you have work?”

Ian’s eyes widened, he had almost forgotten, “Shit, around 3 I think?”

“Alright. I’ve gotta drop Mandy off before my AA meeting, so I’ll be back by 2:30 to take you. Sound good?”

“Yeah,” Ian shrugged,

“Alright, see you guys later,” Lip casually said while Mandy took the time to give Ian and Mickey a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

“Good luck!” Mickey shouted to his sister as she made her way for the door,

“Thank you!”

As the door slammed, Ian’s brows furrowed, “Why’d you say good luck?”

“She has an assessment due,”

“Oh!” Ian perked up before sighing and leaning back, “Fuck, this is weird.”

“What do you mean?” Mickey wondered as he reached for a Danish and took a bite out of it.

“We have nothing to worry about, we can finally just relax, you know? My mind feels empty.”

Mickey smirked, “alright, it’s too early to be getting deep. Here,” he offered the Danish and Ian took a bite, humming pleasantly at the taste.

“Fuck, that’s good,”

“Right!?” Mickey snickered before biting into it again. Ian just smiled at him, happy to have him by his side.

“What should we do today?”

Mickey shrugged, speaking with his mouth full, “I don’t know, do we have to do something? We can just hang out for the next 5 hours,”

“I can’t remember what that’s like,” Ian huffed before sitting up, and reaching for the remote, “feel like I’ve been non-stop for weeks.”

“Well you have been,” Mickey concluded, grabbing his coffee again and sitting back, “Put on a movie or something.”

“Alright, honey, _relax_ ,” Ian joked, making Mickey playfully glare at him.

They put on a movie from Netflix and just chilled out, eventually cuddling after they had finished their sweets. Mickey laid down, his head in Ian’s lap as he reached for the newspaper. He read it quietly as Ian watched the movie, his fingers running through Mickey’s hair whilst Chico slept next to them on the rug.

The weeks they shared in Mexico had felt like the honeymoon stage, and now they were like an old married couple who didn’t mind spending every moment together, and it felt nothing but peaceful.

It was kind of shocking how they weren’t sick of each other after all these years, if anything they were stronger than ever before. Mickey didn’t mind this feeling, and despite his fears, he hoped this moment would last a while before they got thrown back into the deep end.

As lunch time came around, they remained relaxed, standing around the kitchen having light-hearted conversations as Ian made grilled cheeses, and Mickey gave some of the cheese to Jasper and Chico as a treat. It really was something out of a dream, where time stood still and they were surrounded with nothing but happiness.

After finishing off their lunch, Mickey put on a hoodie and sunglasses as he headed out to the balcony with Ian, where they both sat and lit up their cigarettes.

Ian had to laugh at Mickey’s disguise. He looked like a famous person who didn’t want to be seen, and at this rate, he was, but that didn’t bother him. Mickey would _always_ just be Mickey to Ian.

“I never really sit out here and smoke,” Mickey confessed, exhaling as he looked up at the clear sky.

“Why not?” Ian wondered,

“I was scared of being seen,” Mickey told him, “Plus, after a while of being stuck inside, the outside world scares you.”

Ian nodded, understanding, “so what made you change your mind this time?”

“The weather,” he chuckled, “and after yesterday, I feel a little bit better,” he continued, smiling at Ian.

Ian inhaled his smoke and smiled, looking out to the tall buildings of Chicago as he exhaled. Mickey looked down at his hands and rubbed at the permanent letter on his index finger as reality sunk in. Being out here reminded Mickey of the reality of the situation, and even though he wasn’t scared of it anymore, he knew it meant trouble. They couldn’t risk avoiding it for long, they needed to figure out a plan.

“You know we have to talk about what’s next, right?” Mickey suggested, making Ian sigh,

“Why can’t you just not think about it for one day?” He replied tirelessly, “You’re safe.”

“I know I’m safe, Ian, but this won’t last for-fucking-ever. What if something goes wrong, what if someone finds me? We need to sort this out,” Mickey spoke sternly, irritated by Ian’s ' _ignorance is bliss'_ approach.

Ian stayed silent as he exhaled smoke. He nodded to himself, knowing that Mickey had a point.

“I’ll be honest, Mick. I don’t have any idea of what to do. We can wait a week, or two, and have you turn yourself in. The lawyer told me you’d probably be let off easy if you did that.”

“Okay,” Mickey nodded, trying to prepare himself for that moment.

“I doubt we’d find ourselves in any other situation" Ian continued, "We’ve hid you so well, they won’t find you.”

“But what if?” Mickey had to wonder, “What if they found me? Worse, what if they found you with me?”

Ian hated how those thoughts now haunted his mind. He just wanted it to go away and spend one day without worrying about the future. Mickey was right for bringing him back to reality, though, because this was far from over, and they needed to figure it out. But he felt conflicted and had no clue what could save them in a worse-case scenario.

“I don’t know, but we should speak to Lip later tonight about it,” Ian concluded, “Please, can we just spend some happy time together as a _couple_?” he begged, making Mickey feel sorry for Ian. They had both worked so hard, they did deserve a break. Even if it was for a few hours.

“Sure,” Mickey shrugged as he put out his cigarette, “how about you finally let me verse you on Injustice?”

Ian laughed, “You kidding? You’ve played it for much longer than I have, it’ll be easy for you.”

“Exactly,” Mickey smirked, nudging Ian as he stood up, “C’mon, I’ll go easy on you.”

Ian couldn’t help but give in, taking in one big long drag of the last of his smoke before putting it out, letting the smoke flow out of his lungs as they made their way back inside.

 

Just as predicted, Mickey was kicking Ian’s ass. They had played for hours, versing one another until Micky got over how poorly Ian played that he allowed him to play story mode to get used to it. They had played Mortal Kombat so many times when there were younger, Injustice wasn’t any different, but Ian was honestly breaking a sweat from trying to fight back. it wasn’t fair since Mickey had time to learn each character's’ moves, but after being allowed to practice, he felt more prepared.

Picking the Flash, he versed Mickey’s Aquaman, and suddenly the game got more intense. The men grew louder with their commentary as Ian was close to beating him, he was smashing the buttons harder thinking it would make all the difference. Mickey stayed calm, using the correct strategy and with one swift movement, he knocked Flash out cold.

“No!” Ian whined,

“Yes!” Mickey shouted with a laugh, “Who said Aquaman was useless?”

Ian glared at the time and back at Mickey, “One more game?”

“Fine,” Mickey shrugged, “but don’t be pissed at me if you lose again!”

“I _won’t_ lose,” Ian assured,

Mickey smirked, selecting his next fighter. He decided to pick Poison Ivy—a character he never really played—just so he could give Ian a chance at possibly beating him. With that, Ian decided to pick Harley Quinn, so they’d be more equal.

They both sat up straighter and prepared for the battle as the Intro began.

‘ _I don’t know whether to kill you or kiss you,_ ’ Harley teased,

‘ _Kisses only, please,_ ’ Ivy responded, making both Ian and Mickey raise their eyebrows, they were completely unprepared for that introduction, but there was no time to think about the dialogue when their battle was about to begin.

The second the fight began, Ian gave it his all which took Mickey by surprise, spitting profanities as he tried to fight back.

“Fuck off!” Mickey shouted, smashing at the buttons, Ian laughed manically as he continued to pull off a perfect punching streak.

Mickey eventually blocked the attack and started fighting back which brought Ian’s ego back down, making him work harder as they fought. Neither could deny it felt good to just forget the world and focus on something as silly as a videogame. They were becoming more stressed about winning than the idea of Mickey being thrown back in prison, which was a shock.

This day really had been perfect, and it was about to get even better when Ian finally kicked Mickey’s ass.

They both were only two hits away from being knocked out, causing them to hold their breath as they made their last moves.

“No, no, fuck!” Mickey shouted as Ian swiftly defeated Mickey,

“Yes!” Ian jumped up with triumph, while Mickey threw his controller onto the coffee table.

“Man, fuck this game,” he huffed, crossing his arms as he laid back on the couch.

Ian smirked at him as he sat back down, “you don’t want to go again?”

Mickey raised his brow, looking at Ian, “what do you think?”

Ian had to chuckle, putting his controller down and taking another look at the time.

“Well, I have about 20 mins until Lip comes to pick me up. What do you wanna do?” Ian asked, looking at Mickey who pursed his lips, looking Ian up and down.

“I have a few ideas,” he murmured with a grin, “could get rid of my frustration—but don’t you have to get ready?”

Ian smirked, realizing where Mickey was going with this, “All I need to do is get dressed, I don’t care about showering,” he admitted, making Mickey chuckle,

“You’re disgusting,”

“You love it,” Ian teased and Mickey nodded as he repeated,

“I love it.”

They grinned at one another knowingly, and like little kids, the boys jumped from the couch with a laugh as they raced to the bedroom, not wanting to waste a second of the remaining time they had together.

They got in the room and couldn’t remove their smiles as Mickey slammed the door behind him. He started pulling off his hoodie as Ian removed his tank top, not even giving the clothing a chance to hit the floor as he roughly grabbed Mickey by the neck, pushing him hard against the door. Mickey let out a grunt, diving into Ian’s oncoming kiss.

Ian let out a groan as they kissed roughly, their tongues tasting deeply as Ian’s hard crotch pressed against Mickey’s through the thin fabric of their boxers. Mickey ran his hands through Ian’s hair as his lover moved his lips to his neck, kissing and nibbling as they rolled their hips in a perfect rhythm. Ian’s hands lingered to the waistband of Mickey’s boxers, pulling at the elastic.

“Off,” he muttered his order, and Mickey instantly did so as Ian grabbed some Vaseline.

He kicked off the boxers and was met again by Ian’s lips instantly, their tongues twining as he wrapped his arms around Ian’s shoulders. Ian lifted him up from behind the knees, causing them to chuckle as they continued to make out.

Mickey wrapped his legs around his boyfriend’s waist, playfully pushing down at Ian’s boxers as they kissed, nipped and teased one another. Mickey reached down and pulled out Ian’s length as Ian applied the Vaseline he had on his fingers onto Mickey. Mickey slowly pushed Ian inside of him and let out a relaxed sigh, watching Ian as he pressed his hot lips onto Mickey’s collarbone, his hand sliding his hand up Mickey’s tank top to gently tease his nipple.

“Fuck,” Mickey moaned softly as he felt Ian love him so tenderly, already regretting how quick this would have to end. He wished he had thought of this sooner.

They rocked together, lips colliding in a lustful embrace as his hands held Mickey’s thighs up. Mickey rode him harder, Ian biting down on his bottom lip as Mickey rested his head on the door, enjoying the way his body slammed into it with each of Ian’s thrusts. It felt fucking incredible, their groans loud and proud as they worked up a sweat to reach their climax.

Ian began thrusting faster, panting as he rested his head on Mickey’s chin, just breathing in his sounds and the way his aura encapsulated him.

There was nothing like fucking Mickey, he never wanted to stop once he started, it was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Adrenaline took control of his body. No matter how bad his legs trembled and begged to give in, no matter how sweaty and how hard his heart pounded in his chest, he never wanted to give up on loving Mickey.

He pulled Mickey onto him and lifted him from the door, Mickey’s hands clutched in Ian’s hair as they kissed more fierce and passionate. Ian blindly walked to the bed, trying to lay Mickey down as swiftly as he could while their make out got sloppier, their pleasure taking control as they shut their minds off and just relished in this moment, rocking together harder and faster than before.

Ian slid up Mickey’s tank top and trailed hot kisses along his chest and nipples as he slammed into his boyfriend. Mickey inhaled sharply, biting his lip as he watched Ian with bliss, gliding his hand through that bright orange hair. He couldn’t help but think about how fucking hot he looked, and how hot they must look together. If he had his phone he’d probably record it so he could save it for later, but for now he just memorized each moment, how those flames circled within him, and how the taste of Ian was still on his tongue.

Pulling away, Ian’s eyes met with Mickey’s and they exchanged a loving smile as he rested his head against his, his hand now pumping Mickey in time with his thrusts. Mickey moaned approvingly, his legs wrapping tighter around Ian as he begged him to come closer.

They weren’t far from the finish line now, panting as they muttered sweet words and profanities that drove one another wild. Mickey rocked in rhythm with Ian, his fingertips digging hard into Ian’s ribcage as he felt that wildfire burst within him. He almost gasped, throwing his head back as he arched his back, a thousand-and-one words begging to come out but Mickey stayed mute, holding his breath as Ian pulled Mickey’s leg over his shoulder and thrusted harder.

Then as Ian hit that sweet spot as he began to climax, Mickey finally released his tension and came hard, almost screaming Ian’s name as he trembled and fell back down onto the mattress, moaning as he rode out his and Ian's orgasms.

“F-Fuck!” He stuttered with a euphoric laugh that made Ian chuckle. He pressed a kiss to Mickey’s forehead before pulling out, making Mickey sigh with satisfaction.

“What you needed?” Ian wondered with a smirk,

“That was _exactly_ what I needed, thank you baby,” he breathed, and Ian leaned in for a gentle kiss before pulling away and running his thumb along his cheekbone.

“I fucking love you,” he whispered, making Mickey’s smile somehow grow brighter,

“I love you, too.”

 

After a quick five-minute shower Ian came back into Mickey’s room to find him with the bed sheets wrapped around him, finally recovered from their session. Ian couldn’t help but adore how dazed and relaxed Mickey looked now as he made small talk and watched Ian get into his work uniform.

They had exactly one minute left together before Lip sent a text saying he was waiting out the front. Of course, that saddened them, but they were okay, because they knew they could continue their magic when Ian got home.

“Damn, you look good,” Mickey couldn’t help but compliment as Ian tucked in his shirt, Ian had to smirk at that,

“Really?”

Mickey nodded with a hum, “I’d definitely enjoy taking them off of you.”

Ian laughed as he tried not to turn bright red, “You still in the mood?”

“Nah, just like a man in uniform,” He joked with a grin, “I’ll miss you, I’m going to be bored out of my fucking mind.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of a way to entertain yourself,” Ian told him flirtatiously as he packed his backpack, “you could practice Injustice some more so I won’t beat you next time,” he teased as Mickey flipped him off.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled, “You won one game! You ain’t shit, Gallagher.”

“We’ll see,” Ian challenged with a laugh before feeling his pocket vibrate. He pulled out his phone to read a text from Lip, instantly making Ian’s mood drop just the slightest, “Lip’s here, I have to go.”

“Alright,” Mickey mumbled, “I’d offer to walk you out but I don’t have clothes on and,” Mickey paused, “ _you know_.” _I’m a fugitive._

“That’s fine, I’ll see you tonight,” Ian replied as he pressed a kiss to Mickey’s cheek, “bye,” he told him simply as he grabbed his bag and felt another text from Lip vibrate his pocket.

“Bye! Have fun saving lives and shit,” Mickey called out to him as he headed out the door, Ian turned back with a smile.

“I always do,” he responded before walking out, leaving Mickey happy and safe in the comfort Mandy’s apartment.

* * *

 

The ride to work was cruisy, Lip and Ian talked bullshit and sang along to the radio happily. It had been a good day for everyone, and Lip could tell his baby brother was the happiest he had been in a while, it nearly broke his heart to think about what would be next for them. He tried to stay optimistic, at least for Ian’s sake, but he knew this would be rough. He just hoped Ian and Mickey could handle it. Whatever _it_ would be.

Lip pulled up at the front of the ambulance station and parked, confusing Ian as he opened the door.

“What are you hanging around for?” he wondered curiously,

“Getting a coffee, is that a problem?” Lip returned with a laugh,

“No,” Ian shook his head, “just wondering.”

Lip just huffed and got out of the car, Ian following and shutting the door behind him. Ian couldn’t lie, he dreaded work today after what happened yesterday, he was sure he’d get some questions from his co-workers one way or another. He faltered in his footsteps as he took a deep breath, Lip raised a brow as he noticed his brother’s hesitance.

“You alright?”

“Huh?” Ian snapped back from his thoughts, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Lip shrugged, “See you.”

Ian gave a tight smile and watched Lip walk towards the café next door, he couldn’t tell him the truth. Lip would likely laugh in his face. He glanced at his watch and took another breath, knowing he was right on time as he made his way inside.

No one he knew was around, so he kept quiet as he made his way to his locker, but he could tell these people know who he was. This media shit-storm was giving him paranoia and bringing him back to reality. He tried not to think too hard about it, and focus on what was more important right now—his job.

After putting his bag away, he made his way into the staffroom and noticed the roller door open as an ambulance truck reversed inside. Ian felt at ease now, knowing that someone he knew would be here.

Ian waited patiently by the doorway, just fiddling with his fingers as Sue made her way out of the truck. As she turned the corner she jumped with shock at the sight of Ian.

“Holy fuck, Gallagher! You scared the shit out of me,” she exclaimed, her hand over her chest,

“Sorry,” Ian chuckled, “how was the run?”

“Good, nothing I couldn’t handle,” she smirked as she made her way inside, Ian following close behind, “how’ve you been?”

“Good,” Ian replied bluntly, she gave a nod as she opened her locker to pull out her water bottle. She knew Ian well enough not to mention the obvious, she didn’t feel the need to ask him about it anyway, the news told her everything she had to know.

As Sue took a seat at the dining table and Ian tried to fill the silence.

“When do you get off?” he wondered,

“Six, you?”

“Nine,” he replied as he pulled out a chair from the dining table, but was quickly interrupted by his boss Rita who walked in the room.

“Ian, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked firmly, making Ian have that ‘ _uh oh_ ’ feeling as he shifted his eyes,

“Of course,” he smiled before looking at Sue who had no idea what to think of this. He just swallowed his pride and followed Rita into her office where she shut the door behind them.

Ian stood awkwardly, unsure what to do as Rita stacked some paperwork and sat on her desk, crossing her arms.

“Do you want me to take a seat?” He offered, she shook her head,

“No, it’s not that serious,” she assured with a slight smile.

“Then what is it?”

She sighed and went straight to the point, “Today, two paramedics were about to head out for a job but were held up because of a pestering reporter from a news station,”

“Shit,” Ian muttered, “I’m sorry.”

She raised her hand to stop him, “It’s not your fault, I get you’re going through some personal things that have unfortunately gone public, but this isn’t the first time this has happened in the last few days, and I fear it’ll just get worse.”

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, fearing the worst, “Are you—are you firing me?”

“No, Ian! Never, you’re a hard-worker,” she promised, “but having this happen is dangerous, and I think until this whole thing cools off, it’s best that you take some time off.”

“But, I just got back,” Ian replied with disappointment. He really loved this job, it distracted him from his shitty reality, but even reality was coming to bite him in the ass now.

“I know, but you know that every second counts, and we can’t have them risking lives,”

Ian suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and furrowed his brows as he tried to focus on Rita instead.

“If anything, it protects you from risking your job because they won’t leave you alone.”

Ian just nodded, taking it in. It was disheartening, sure, but at least he wasn’t getting fired, that would’ve really sucked. He continued to ignore his phone buzzing away in his pocket as Rita moved around to her computer.

“I’ll pay you for the full shift today and will print out your pay-slip, then you can go,” she informed as she typed her life away.

“Okay,” Ian tried not to choke, sneakily pulling out his phone to read the notifications.

_‘ **2 Missed Calls – Daniel** ’_

_What the Fuck?_

His phone then rang again, causing Ian to jump as he tried not to freak out, what was so important that Daniel had to call him 3 times? What the fuck was happening? Ian began to really worry now. Was he in trouble? If so, what the fuck could he do about it from Chicago?

Ian’s mind was racing, unsure what to think as he just wished that Rita would hurry the _fuck_ up.

She got up and took the pay-slip from the printer to pass to Ian. He took it and thanked her as he quickly excused himself. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat as he rushed to his locker to grab his things. He didn’t even take the time to say goodbye, more focused on calling Daniel back as he ran out the door.

He held his phone to his ear, hating how it rang for longer than necessary. He just needed to know what was going on. As he exited the station, Lip was making his way back to the car and stopped as he noticed Ian standing there looking distressed.

“Ian?” Lip questioned, but Ian ignored him as he finally heard Daniel’s voice at the end of the line.

“H-Hello?”

“Daniel, It’s Ian,” he responded quickly, worried about the shaky tone in his voice,

“Ian, a-are you with Mickey?”

Just the sound of that sentence made Ian’s gut drop.

“No, why?”

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, “Where is he?”

“At Mandy’s”

“G-Go find him,” he sniffed, “I don’t have time to e-explain okay? Just p-please go find him and get the _fuck_ out of there,”

“Why!?” Ian became pedantic as he rushed to the car, “What’s going on?”

“I-It’s André, okay? I n-need to get on a plane, I’ll call you.”

“Daniel!?” Ian yelled, but it was no use. He had hung up.

“What the fuck was that about?” Lip worried, noticing all the color drained from his brother’s face,

“There’s something wrong,” he stressed as he opened the door, “We need to go. Now.”

Without even a second thought Lip got in the car with Ian and sped down the road as Ian started making calls, his body so tense and fidgety Lip swore he would explode. He had no idea what was going on. He wasn’t even sure why Ian was out of work, but clearly something had gone wrong somewhere, and just like he feared, they were hitting rock bottom.

Ian let out a frustrated yell as he hung up his phone, wishing he could just throw it out the window.

“Will you _please_ tell me what the fuck is going on?” Lip stressed, hating that his brother was like this.

“I don’t know, Lip!” Ian choked back tears, “I didn’t get much of an explanation!”

“Calm down, alright? Breathe, for fuck sake! Tell me what you know.”

Ian shook his head, blinking away the tears. This felt like a nightmare that he didn’t want to face.

“Ian!” Lip cracked, “I’m trying to figure this shit out will you tell me for once in your fucking life what’s actually going on in your head!?”

“It was Daniel, okay!?” Ian snapped back, glaring at his older brother, “He said I needed to find Mickey and get the fuck out of here because André did something! That’s all I fucking know!”

Lip fell silent now, feeling his own heartbeat in his throat now as he muttered, “ _Shit._ ”

Ian looked out the window and sniffed, “I tried to call Mandy but she isn’t fucking answering.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, okay? There’s not much André can do from Mexico.”

“You don’t know him,” Ian shook his head, “he’s more than capable of fucking this up for us.”

Lip tried to think of a way to answer that, but just kept his eyes focused on the road instead. Ian wiped his eyes and reminded himself to breathe. He had no idea what to expect by the time they got to Mandy’s, and he hated that the thought of Mickey’s dead body lying in the bed they slept in, but it wouldn’t go away, the thought kept circling in his head.

He truly expected the worst, and his heart was breaking. He needed Mickey to be okay. He didn’t know how to live a life without Mickey anymore, he was so sure that this was it this time. Maybe he was wrong? Of course, he was. Nothing ever went right for them.

 

When they arrived on Mandy’s street they were silent, driving slow as they noticed barricades and flashing red and blue lights ahead. Ian leaned forward, trying to see what the commotion was as he held his breath, knowing this was a nightmare come true.

And it was, the lights were from cop cars and FBI that circled the apartment building, and Ian could feel himself breaking. Was this all over for them? Did André really do this?

“Holy shit,” Lip gasped at the sight as he quickly turned the corner, making Ian’s panic rise, where was he going? They couldn’t just leave Mickey behind!?

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Ian shrieked,

“I can’t just drive up there!”

Ian shook his head. He couldn’t cope with this anymore, he didn’t want to give up this fight.

“Let me out,” he told his brother firmly,

“What?”

“Stop the car!” Ian ordered as he opened the car door, making Lip slam on the breaks.

“Ian!” he shouted, but it was no use. Ian had jumped out and started sprinting towards the apartment building. Lip quickly parked on the side of the road and jumped out to run after his baby brother who was running right into danger.

Ian ran. He ran faster than he had in months, his chest pounding as he tried to remember to breathe. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe they didn’t have him yet, maybe Ian could make it, maybe he could get Mickey and take them away from this disaster.

That was when he felt a yank on his collar and was pulled back by his brother, Lip getting a tight grip on his arms as Ian begged to be released.

“Ian, we can’t. We can’t risk being seen.”

Ian let out a sob, watching from afar as Mickey was walked out by the feds, hands cuffed behind his back. Mickey didn’t even fight it, just allowing them to take him whilst Mandy stood by the door of the building, holding Chico back by his neck as he barked aggressively at the officers.

This was too much for Ian to bear, he needed his family safe. He forced himself out of Lip’s grip but lip pulled him back, their commotion catching Mickey’s eye as he looked over to his distraught boyfriend.

“ _Mick_ ,” Ian breathed, his heart wrenching as he fought Lip’s grip.

Mickey shook his head, giving a pleading look for him not to come any closer, and that broke Ian even more. He felt useless, he felt angry. Mickey deserved better than this.

“C’mon, we have to go,” Lip spoke softly as Ian slowly became defeat in his arms. Ian didn’t want to leave, but there was no use of him being here. They had captured his boyfriend and were forcing him into their van now.

It was so painful that everything began to blur. He didn’t even realize Lip was guiding him back to the car until he was inside and Lip was driving him to where they would be safe and sound, away from the chaos.

All Ian wanted to do was scream, but he was dead inside. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Ian couldn’t even form a sensible thought, telling himself that this was all over and that Mickey would be back in prison for good. He was sure Lip was trying to comfort him, but he felt like he was underwater, the sounds surrounding him were being drowned out by the white noise in his head.

He was aching, and all he wanted to sleep with the hopes that everything would be okay when he woke up, but it wouldn’t be. Everything was about to just get that much harder, and even though Ian wasn’t in the right state of mind right now, he knew deep down that he wouldn’t give up on this. He would never give up on Mickey Milkovich.


	33. Chapter 33

This wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t meant to be this way. Ian was hating himself, more than he ever before. He didn’t want to move from his spot on the worn out green couch, staring lifelessly into the distance. It was like he was back to stage one; missing Mickey, wondering if he was okay, and trying to think of a way to get him back, but this time, his mind wouldn’t allow him to. He was sad—devastated. Because this wasn’t a part of the plan, and now he’s let Mickey down. Again.

Lip had dropped Ian off at the Gallagher house hours ago. Ian couldn’t remember why he left or where he was going. The adrenaline managed to blur all his memories together to the point where he couldn’t pick them apart, but he remembered the swarm of reporters outside his house, and when he looked through the lacey curtain of the living room’s window, he could still see their vans outside.

This had to be some sick joke, it nearly made Ian furious to think that they wouldn’t leave him alone. They didn’t care about Ian or Mickey’s feelings. Not really. All they cared about was getting the inside scoop on a fugitive’s ex-lover. He was sick of being plastered this way.

Because of the media, he was on the verge of losing his job, and now Ian irrationally thought to blame them for Mickey, too. Even though it was purely André’s fault, he was sure the media helped him in some way, because it was clear that he called the cops on Mickey. He probably did all he could to figure out where Mickey would be. Ian wasn’t sure how he pulled it off, but it certainly wasn’t impossible.

If Ian was capable of finding Mickey’s location, it wouldn’t be hard for André either.

God, it was all so fucked up. Ian should’ve known André would get revenge after how calmly he let Mickey go. This wasn’t fair, and the more his mind thought about it, the more his heart ached. It wasn’t until he looked down at his hands that he noticed how badly he was shaking. He was far from okay, and he had no idea how to explain this to his family whenever they decided come home.

Nor did he know what to expect when Daniel finally rang back. When he called, his distraught voice struck Ian’s chest in a way he could never forget, and he was so anxious to hear from him, to hear what happened. His words kept circling his mind, and Ian hoped he was okay. It was all so quick, and he kept wondering if he had excused himself from Rita, would he have made it in time? Could he have saved Mickey from this if only he had answered his phone?

In that moment, Ian’s phone started vibrating on the table, causing his heart to jump. He picked it up but stopped himself from answering, because it wasn’t Daniel. It was Alfonso.

He placed the phone down and let it ring, why would he be prepared to deal with this so soon? Why would Alfie expect that of him? All he wanted was for this mess to go away, he wanted to sleep, but he hated the idea of waking up and having this mess still be here.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, feeling some relief as the phone finally stopped ringing, but the silence didn’t last long as it started to ring again. Ian opened his eyes to look at the phone with frustration before realizing who was calling. He moved quicker than he could think, grabbing the phone and answering it.

“Daniel—”

“Did you make it in time?” he asked instantly, Ian almost didn’t want to tell him the answer. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t save him, but he couldn’t lie to him.

“No,” Ian mumbled, clearing his throat.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.”

His voice was so soft and sincere it made Ian feel worse somehow. He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to prevent his eyes from glazing over.

“W-What happened?” Ian questioned shakily, “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” he admitted with a sniff, “just got into my motel room in Guanajuato, I’m sorry it took me so long to call back.”

“Don’t be,” Ian told him, “I was just worried, I’m so confused.”

“I know, Ian, I just—I don’t even know how to explain what’s happened.”

“It’s okay, just take it slow,” he tried to comfort him despite his own emotions.

Daniel sighed, “André’s dead.”

Ian’s jaw dropped, unable to believe what Daniel had just said. He instantly had a sick feeling in his stomach, he wasn’t sure how to feel about this, he needed answers.

“What? W-Why? How?”

“He—” Daniel choked, the memories still fresh in his mind, “H-He was so broken up about Mickey that he didn’t care for anything he couldn’t control. He felt humiliated, and he took it out on the family. Our business. He betrayed us, Ian. He had been arguing with Antonio about wanting to be next in line, wanting more cash and all this shit. Antonio disowned him instead, which only made him angrier,”

Ian furrowed his brows as he took it all in.

“I begged him not to let all this shit get to him and to just l-let it go but he was so adamant on revenge. He called the feds and told them everything about our family, ratting out Mickey along the way, I wasn’t there, but I don’t think he mentioned you. He revealed who he was though, what our family was, where Antonio is staying. He texted me saying that the job was done and that he’ll miss me. Then the feds showed up to raid his house and arrest him but it was too late, he killed himself before Antonio had the chance.”

“Holy fuck,” was Ian’s only response. He couldn’t believe André was so upset about not only Mickey, but at his own family to the point where he’d take his own life just to make a point. While it made Ian feel horrible, he couldn’t imagine how Mickey would react to this news.

“Yeah, and then Antonio put all us cousins onto his private plane and scattered us all over so we won’t be found. I-I’m basically homeless, now,” he laughed sadly, “I tried ringing my ex but she won’t pick up, I’m thinking of just booking a flight to Cali anyway.”

“You know you’re always welcome to come here, it might be good to see you, you know?” he suggested, wiping his eye as he tried not to get emotional, “Considering he’s behind bars, and you’ve lost your cousin, w-we can’t really afford to be alone right now.”

Ian heard Daniel sniff as he stayed quiet, most likely thinking about it.

“I’ll see, what’s your address?”

“2119 South Wallace, Chicago.”

“Got it,” Daniel noted, Ian stayed silent as he gave him time to write it down.

“Will you be okay?” Ian wondered, knowing how traumatizing this must be for him.

“Yeah, I’m a Fuentes, we’ll be alright. Just like you will be, Gallagher,” he chuckled, making Ian smile, he had missed Daniel’s optimism.

“True that,”

“Glad you agree,” Daniel huffed, “I should probably go shower and have some rest, but I just thought I’d call and let you know how this happened, even if I don’t know all the details yet.”

“That’s okay,” Ian assured, “just keep in contact this time, alright?”

“You’re one to talk!” Daniel joked, “But nah, I get it. I’ll text you when I know what I’m doing.”

“Okay. Stay safe.”

“Always do,” He smirked, “bye.”

“Bye.”

* * *

_ Chicago Police Department _

It was exactly what Mickey had prepared himself for since the day he broke out of prison, and it didn’t scare him. Quite frankly, it never did. He had been in and out of juvie so many times as a teenager that prison didn’t scare him even half as much as his own father did. Then he ended up there, and while it still didn’t scare him, he remembers it being more horrific and isolating than juvie ever was.

He was guided down a familiar hallway with a federal officer on either side, keeping his cool unlike the last time he was here. He could still remember it, the way he kicked and screamed saying, ' _I_ _didn’t_ _do_ _it!'_ while the arresting officer ignored him.

Now looking back at it, Mickey wished he realized he couldn’t fight it, although he could admire the zest he used to have. Perhaps old Mickey believed he could live a good life, which he was now so unsure of.

Walking into the processing room, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him. That was certainly different to the last time he was here as well, but maybe it was the two armed men dressed in black that were with him that caused the attention, although he was sure that wasn’t the case.

Mickey honestly thought that when this happened he would feel something, but honestly, he was numb. He had set himself up for failure for so long now that he was unbothered by it, but what did bother him was how distraught Ian was when they carted him away. He just hoped Ian would be okay. Ian had to know it was always going to come to this, but Mickey guessed Ian didn’t expect it to happen as abruptly as it did.

One of the federal officers tugged Mickey back hard, making him grunt as he removed his handcuffs whilst the other man held onto his baton to ensure Mickey wouldn’t lash out. Mickey just scoffed as he was released from the tight metal, rubbing at his wrists.

“I’m not going to fight you,” Mickey assured.

“Just shut up and go get your picture taken,” the officer snapped back, having no regard for Mickey as they aggressively pulled him in front of the camera.

That was another thing different than last time, these officers were far less friendly. Or patient, for that matter.

“Look at the camera,” A police officer commanded as she operated the computer. Mickey looked directly into the lens with a relaxed face. He was surprised they wanted another picture of him, but it had been a few years since he broke out, so maybe they just needed to update the file.

After that, he basically helped himself to the thumbprint machine as they confirmed that he was found. It still hadn’t settled in yet, he wasn’t sure if it ever would. He just hoped it wouldn’t last forever, and tried not to think about the long road ahead.

“Hold your hands behind your back,” she told him calmly before looking at the federal officers that towered over them both, “we can handle him from now on officers, thank you.”

The older one nodded, “remember to send him down to MCC.”

“I know,” she informed with a nod before guiding Mickey away. She was quiet, but far nicer than the men he had just had to deal with. Maybe she understood that this was unfair, and maybe she was on his side. Even though he didn’t say a word, he made sure to give her a soft smile of gratitude before voluntarily walking into one of the holding bays where she locked the door behind him.

Mickey had to smirk at the fact he seemed to be getting the VIP treatment. Last time he was shoved into a room with 6 other men who probably did far worse things than he did, but this time it was empty. He took a seat on the steel bench with a sigh, picking at his fingernails as he stared at the blank concrete wall, trying to remember exactly how it got to this.

He wasn’t even sure how they found him, but it wasn’t long after Ian had left. He had just showered and was getting dressed when the banging came at the front door. It scared the shit out of him, and Chico was barking protectively.

Mickey wasn’t sure who it was, but he knew it wasn’t Lip or Mandy so he ignored it. That was until he heard the, ‘ _CPD open up!’_ and that’s when he knew he was done for, but he still tried to fight it, running out of his room with his jeans in his hand, heading in the direction of the balcony without considering how high up in the sky he was.

But it didn’t matter, it was too late. The door was busted open and both police and FBI came to tackle him to the ground, a loud grunt exiting him as he was roughly handcuffed, the ‘ _you are under arrest,’_ saying being told even though he wasn’t listening.

_“Where are your pants!?” an officer ordered, but Mickey felt so much pressure on his spine he could hardly even breathe._

He didn’t know when Mandy got there, but he remembered how she screamed at them to take it easy on him, and how she pleaded for Chico to calm down from trying to bite their arms off. This is when it started to blur even more, he vaguely remembered the police dressing Mickey in his jeans while overhearing his baby sister make up a story to the police.

_“I don’t know when he got here, I haven’t been around a lot lately. I come to feed the dog and leave again to my boyfriend’s house—Yes, Ian Gallagher is my best friend. His brother Philip is my boyfriend.”_

Next thing Mickey remembers is being taken out of the building, Mandy trying to remind him it’d be alright whilst holding Chico back who forced his way into the elevator to protect his dad.

After that, all he recognized was Ian’s face and how desperately he wanted to save him, but Mickey tried to give him a look to suggest it’s okay, and that he would be alright.

Mickey wasn’t entirely sure if he was positive he would be okay, but he needed to make sure Ian at least knew that _they_ would be okay. He just hoped the court would take it easy on him.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been waiting, but this concrete cage was making it all settle in now, but he made sure to remind himself that this was going to happen no matter what they did, and that he’ll be out of here quicker than last time. It was more the thought of Ian that concerned him. He just couldn’t stop hoping that Ian understood, and would be alright.

* * *

 

  _Gallagher House_

Loneliness doesn't last long in this house. It never does. There’s always someone coming in or out, going on a rampage about something almost unbelievable. Today was no different, but the difference was that everyone kept their eyes on Ian. Debbie and Lip showed their concern whilst Fiona did it in a slightly-judgmental way. It was far too soon to be openly critical, so Fiona held back, keeping quiet as she just gave him a hug, and reminded him that his family were there for him.

Ian did enjoy the company for now though, and Lip had reminded him more than enough times to just take it easy because there was nothing they could do just yet. All they could do was wait, and that killed Ian the most, but he knew deep down that it would be okay eventually.

What Ian was the most thankful for was his little niece Franny. He just watched and played with her, keeping his mind occupied. The best thing about kids was that you didn’t need a deep conversation in order to be interested, he happily responded to all her baby talk as she passed him her toys and started humming nursery rhymes.

She really was a sweet kid, especially for a two-year-old. Franny reminded Ian of just how badly he wanted a family, and when his niece’s hair was as bright as his was, it wasn’t that hard to imagine. Maybe he was delusional for picturing that kind of future with Mickey, hell, he wasn’t even sure if that’s what Mickey would want, but it was a nice thought that calmed him after what happened today.

Not long after, Frank walked in with Liam who he had somehow responsibly picked up from school. Ian raised his brows with shock that Frank was being a real _dad_ , whilst Liam beamed, excited to see his older brother.

“Ian! You’re here!”   

“Yeah, I am,” Ian chuckled as his baby brother made his way around to give him a hug hello.

“Look what I made today,” he began, pulling his oversized backpack onto the couch and searching through it.

“What’s with the vans outside?” Frank questioned, Ian sighed and looked at him, not wanting to answer, thankfully Debbie decided to speak instead.

“Mickey got caught,” she told him bluntly, giving Ian a look of sympathy before paying attention to her daughter again.

Frank scoffed, walking towards the kitchen, “Fucking amateur.”

Ian rolled his eyes, knowing not to let it get the best of him as Liam finally pulled out a piece of folded up paper that got slightly scrunched on the walk home. He opened it to reveal a large painting of a stick figure dressed as what looked to be a doctor.

“That’s incredible! What’s it supposed to be?” Ian asked his brother.

“She told us to paint what we wanted to be when we grew up so I made myself into a doctor!”

“Wow!” Ian enthused despite how shitty he actually felt, but he didn’t want to discourage Liam, “You sure you wanna be a doctor? You’re really great at painting!”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he nodded, “Daddy told me that being a painter won’t pay bills.”

Ian pouted, “screw what Frank thinks, ‘kay? Do whatever you want to do.”

“Okay. Thank you, Ian,” Liam smiled, not knowing how to respond to that in any other way. He embraced his big brother with a hug and Ian squeezed him tighter than necessary before letting go so Liam run upstairs to show Fiona what he had created.

At the same moment, Lip came downstairs, patting Liam’s head as he passed.

“Hey,” He spoke to Ian, “I have to go get Mandy from the police station, did you want me to come back later?”

“Nah,” Ian assured, “I should be okay. Mandy will want you there.”

“Okay, well you know I’m only a phone call away.”

“Yes, Lip,” Ian mumbled as Debbie said goodbye to their eldest brother. He just stayed focused on Franny who was playing with one of Debbie’s old Barbie dolls, trying not to get a visual in his mind of how Mickey was like when he got arrested, or how Mandy reacted to it.

He really did just want all of this to go away. He didn’t want to be here. He only wanted Mickey.

“Are you alright?” Debbie asked for what must have been the 20th time today as Lip shut the door behind him.

“Yeah,” Ian replied softly, still looking over Franny.

Debbie smiled sadly at her brother, wishing there was something she could do. She had fucked up before when he was low, not keeping an eye on him when he got back from the hospital which led to him flushing his pills down the toilet. She didn’t want to let him down this time, even though this wasn’t a real _low,_ she still felt bad.

She reached for her empty cup on the coffee table and stood up, “Did you want some juice?”

“Sure,” Ian shrugged, he wasn’t thirsty, but he knew it had been a while since he had anything to eat or drink. Also, he was sure that if he declined, Debbie would be even more worried than she already seemed to be.

Debbie probably thought Ian wouldn’t notice, but he did. Of course, he did. It wasn’t every day that a family member was genuinely concerned like this.

She made her way back in, Ian thanking her as he took his cup and gulped down the Sunny D before placing it on the table.

“How’ve you been anyway?” Ian asked, trying anything to keep his mind off it.

“Fine,” she blandly replied, “Franny’s been potty-trainin’ which is great.”

“Just mom stuff, huh?” Ian concluded, to which Debbie sighed.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

Ian smiled slightly, wishing he could relate to that as he watched Franny slowly wobble her way onto her feet, walking towards her uncle.

“Hey pretty girl, what are you doing?”

“Look!”

Ian smiled, taking the doll from her that she had undressed.

“What? What am I looking at?” he wondered as she gibbered, poking at the eyes.

“Oh!” Ian pretended to understand. Franny then turned to hold her arms up to Ian to say, ‘ _pick me up!_ ’ and Ian did so, sitting her on his lap as she played with the dated doll, noticing the faint marker stains Debbie had created when she was little.

Ian looked at his sister, catching her adoring gaze on this moment.

“I can’t believe you still have this doll,” he spoke, trying to start a conversation.

“It was the only one Carl hadn’t chopped the head off of,” she huffed, making Ian laugh.

“God, I miss that kid—could you pass me the clothes?” Ian asked, pointing to the doll clothes Franny had removed. Debbie got up without a complaint to grab them.

“He’s coming home soon, I can’t remember when though,” she informed, passing the clothes.

“Thanks,” Ian spoke politely, taking it from her and dressing the doll. He was well aware that Franny would probably rip them right off again, but it would keep her entertained, and that was the most important part.

As Debbie plonked herself back down onto the couch, she twirled her ponytail in her fingertips as she hesitated, but her curiosity got the best of her.

“Hey, did Mickey try and contact you?” she wondered, making Ian’s eyes widen with panic.

“No, why? Did he contact you?”

“No, just curious,” she shrugged, explaining, “Just, you’re sadder than I thought you’d be. I thought you’d be happy they found him?”

Ian gave Debbie a look before focusing on his niece again. He didn’t realize _just_ how upset he looked to her, and now she was asking questions Ian found difficult to answer. He almost considered telling her the truth. She had trusted Ian enough to tell the truth about the night Mickey apparently tried to kill Sammi, maybe he could share some truth too?

_Fuck it._

“Can I be honest with you?” he wondered, arms still wrapped around Franny.

“Of course!” she assured, sitting up straighter to pay attention. Ian took a breath, keeping his voice low so no one else could hear.

“I knew Mickey was back.”

Her eyes widened, “what!?”

Ian shushed her before explaining, “I lied to everyone and said I was going to California with people from work when the truth is that I went to Mexico. To find Mickey.”

“He was in Mexico?” she responded with shock, “Holy shit.”

Ian nodded, “Yeah, and it was a rough few months but I brought him back with me, and he had been stuck in Mandy’s apartment this whole time that I’ve been back.”

“Oh my god. So, this was all planned?” she scoffed, impressed, “I’m surprised you pulled it off.”

“Thank you?” Ian responded, unsure if that was a compliment, “But yeah, everything was planned. Apart from what happened today, obviously,” he sighed shakily, Debbie instantly rubbed his arm to comfort him.

“Hey, if Mickey’s anything like I remember, then he’ll be just fine.”

Ian smiled appreciatively at his sister, “Thanks Deb’s, and you’re probably right. I just—” he sighed, “I didn’t want him to end up back there.”

“It’s alright, sometimes these things happen for a reason,”

Ian raised a brow, unsure what that reason could be.

“Whether that be to test us, remind us of our downfalls, or just make us stronger. You and Mickey have gone to hell and back, but maybe this is that final test, you know? To say whether or not _this is it_.”

She was spot on, and Ian could feel his eyes glaze as hope temporarily healed his heart. He pressed his head into Franny’s shoulder and sniffed, composing himself before looking at Debbie again.

“Thanks,” he chuckled, “If I were to have told anyone else, they probably would’ve kicked my ass.”

Debbie knew exactly what he meant, leaning over to wrap his arms around him and her daughter. Ian embraced it, holding her there as Fiona came stomping down the stairs, curious as to why the three gingers were cuddling on the couch.

“What’s going on here?” she questioned with a smile as Debbie pulled away.

“Nothing, just chatting.”

Fiona gave a tight smile and nodded, only slightly jealous that Ian would rather open up to Debbie than her.

“I plan on ordering some pizza for dinner, how’s that sound?” she asked Ian, “Liam suggested it after I told him how you felt.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ian agreed, smiling at how nice that was of Liam.

He couldn’t help but think that he really does love this family. Every time he was away, he forgot how good it was, but it was nice to be home when he was hurting like this.

That was until he realized that whilst he was surrounded by nothing but love and family, Mickey was in jail alone with nobody to talk to. No amount of love from his family could distract him from that type of guilt.

* * *

 

_ Metropolitan Correctional Center, Chicago _

“Mikhailo Milkovich?”

“Yeah?” Mickey responded as he stood from the bench where he had been sitting for the past 40 minutes with complete strangers. He approached the front desk where a federal officer stood behind a bulletproof glass barrier.

“Just gotta update your file,” he explained briefly before continuing, “Have you developed any medical issues since 2015?”

Mickey shook his head, “no.”

“Diabetes, tuberculosis, HIV, Allergies?”

“Not that I know of, no.”

He typed on the keyboard quickly before moving on.

“Hooked on anything? Last time you were here you said alcohol, is that still an issue?”

Mickey cleared his throat awkwardly, remembering how he said that as a joke.

“No, not anymore,” he answered, the officer moved on.

“Medications, any prescriptions?”

Mickey shook his head, honestly finding this ridiculous, but he kept his patience. The officer then grabbed a plastic zip-lock bag, slipping it through the small gap along the desk.

“Personal items, please.”

Mickey stared at the bag, dumbfounded. These officers really were stupid.

“I don’t have anything,” he stated simply.

The officer let out a frustrated sigh, “no phone, wallet, money, jewelry or keys?”

“I had just gotten out of the fuckin’ shower when your buddies tackled me, what do you think?” Mickey finally snapped, making the officer smirk.

“I know this ain’t your first time at the rodeo, Milkovich, but this place isn’t like the last one. You’re never getting out of here,” he seemed to threaten, taking the empty bag away.

Mickey just kept his ground, not showing any emotion to that sentence as the officer printed out his wristband.

“Arm,” the officer requested, and Mickey stretched his arm through the gap so he could put it on him, “That you?”

Mickey read it quickly and nodded, “yeah.”

“Alright, follow me down the hall and strip,” he concluded casually, grabbing Mickey’s uniform and bags to place his clothing in as he exited the office, making his way down the hall with little-to-no eye contact.

Mickey had completely forgotten about this part. It was probably the most confronting and humiliating out of it all, but he did as he was told. He got completely undressed and allowed the officer to examine his body from head to toe.

He held his breath the entire time, knowing that if he exhaled too hard, this would get the best of him. He bent over and shut his eyes as the officer examined him from behind. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted to be at home in bed with Ian’s arms wrapped around him. Instead, he was left shaking and completely vulnerable to this stranger.

“Get dressed,” he told him, which meant that the hard part was over.

Mickey did exactly so, trying not show his sadness or fear as he put on the orange and white uniform he despised. Sure, orange was his favorite color, but it never looked good on him. The uniform always reminded him of Ian; back then, all this color did was ache him, but now it provided him comfort.

Despite all this mess, Mickey still managed to have confidence in his and Ian’s relationship. That was another thing that was different from last time.

“Your lawyer called and said he’ll stop by to discuss the arraignment tomorrow. Now follow me and I will place you in your cell.”

 _Lawyer?_ Mickey furrowed his brows. Ian must’ve been quick and made sure the lawyer he used for the first court hearing got onto this case, too. That gave Mickey some hope, maybe he’d get out of this just fine.

Despite how shitty it felt to be back in prison, this place far felt different to the last place he was at. Everything was more modern, the cells looked more spacious. It was quieter, too. Maybe Mickey was getting the VIP treatment, after all.

He kept his head up as he was guided through the hallway of the building, trying not to notice how inmates looked at him as he made his way past. Last time, the prisoners made cat-calls and said things to make him fear them (not that it worked) but this time was different, they all stayed quiet and watched him with respect. They knew Mickey was innocent, and to break out of prison and be gone so long that you were presumed dead was an achievement they could look up to.

That alone made Mickey feel more confident about this. His stay here would be pleasant, he knew how to persuade people into thinking he was King of the Courtyard.

The officer opened a heavy door to reveal yet another concrete cage, only a thin vertical window breaking up the grey and white to reveal a beautiful Chicago sunset. Mickey wished he could enjoy it, but it just made him feel more trapped, and he used to think Mandy’s apartment was suffocating.

“Your bedding is folded up on the top right bunk, you must stay in this room until we ring the bell for dinner.”

“Got it,” Mickey mumbled in response, making his way inside.

The door shut behind him and he sighed, looking to the left of the cell where he saw a bed already made which suggested that he had a cellmate. He hoped that whoever they are, were nice. No one could ever beat Damon, though. Mickey almost felt bad for abandoning him now. He missed that mother fucker.

But there was no time to reminisce, he needed to leave his thoughts and emotions behind so they wouldn’t catch up to him. So, he started to make the bed on the bottom bunk, unfolding the sheet and wrapping it around the foam mattress before grabbing the blankets.

It was hard for him to not wonder about Ian, his sister, or what was to come. He felt so isolated in his own mind, but he really did try to shake it off, focusing on how scratchy these blankets were as he lay them on the bed.

As he reached for the pillowcase and began to shove his pillow inside, the door opened, easing Mickey’s mind as he focused on a guard who was letting in an inmate—his cellmate.

He was an average sized man with ashy hair and dark eyes. There was probably more to him, but Mickey didn’t look twice, more focused on fluffing up his pillow.

As the door slammed behind them, Mickey could just feel the man’s presence sneaking closer.

“You’re new,” he commented, almost circling Mickey.

“Not really,” Mickey replied.

“Really? Well nice to meet you, I’m Jonathan,” he greeted, holding his hand out for a shake. Mickey looked at the hand then back to his cellmate’s face.

“Mickey,” he told him blankly before turning away to put his pillow down.

As he did so, he could just feel Jonathan creepily press his hip bone against him. Mickey rolled his eyes, this man had no idea who he was messing with. Mickey instantly snapped, shoving him back.

“Push the fuck back, asshole, there’s _more_ than enough room for the both of us.”

“Shit, Mick,” He huffed, “thought you said you weren’t new?”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” Mickey told him off, “I’m not new at this, believe me, I used to be you. I know this game.”

Jonathan crossed his arms, looking Mickey up and down as he continued to pace around him.

“Is that so? What changed?”

Mickey shrugged, hesitating, “I got a boyfriend.”

It was an odd answer, considering that he had fucked guys in both juvie and prison whilst his heart belonged to Ian, but this was different, because they were an actual couple now. They weren’t friends with benefits, they hadn’t broken up, they were in it for the long haul, and Mickey didn’t feel the need to assert himself here by fucking submissive men.

“Boyfriend?”

Mickey shifted his eyes, “well, yeah.”

“Huh,” Jonathan said with surprise, biting his lip as he got closer to Mickey, “well if you like men so much you’d go as far as to date them, then you won’t mind if I—”

Just as he went to grab at Mickey’s crotch, Mickey reached for his throat, throwing him down onto the ground and pressing his knee hard into the pervert’s chest, his fist high in the hair as his other hand kept a tight hold on his neck.

“If you try and touch me again, I swear I’ll _corta tu verga y te lo voy hacer tragar_ ,” Mickey threatened, which roughly translated to ‘ _I will cut your dick off and shove it down your throat._ ’

“Ooh, multicultural boy, huh?” Jonathan choked with a chuckle, “I don’t mind, I love Mexican’s.”

“Ugh!” Mickey exclaimed with disgust as he got off the filthy man on the floor, “not even fuckin’ close.”

“What are you then?” he croaked, hopping up from the floor and dusting himself off.

“American,” Mickey told him with pride.

“Other than that, like, your background?” he continued, plonking himself onto his bed. Mickey shifted awkwardly, unsure why this was the discussion.

“Ukrainian,” Mickey replied, taking a seat on his own bed.

“Which side? Mom or Dad?”

“Both, I guess?” Mickey shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about his mom since she died. Terry would’ve belted him if he tried.

“Nice, my mom is Danish and my dad is Irish,” Jonathan continued, lying down on his bed.

Mickey just nodded along, hoping this was over.

“So, what you back in here for anyway?”

“For breaking out of prison and being on the run for over a year. You?”

“Robbery—” he quickly cut himself off, rolling onto his side to face Mickey, “So if you’re back here for breaking out, what were you here for in the first place?”

Mickey let out a frustrated sigh, “my boyfriend’s half-sister accused me of trying to murder her and slept with the judge in exchange for giving me 15 years in prison.”

“15 years!?” Jonathan couldn’t believe it, “Holy fuck, I don’t blame you. How’d you do it?”

“Seduced an officer, she fell in love with me and I convinced her to let me out.”

“Wait a minute,” his cellmate piped with realization as he sat up, “you’re the dude the news keeps talking about, right?”

“Yeah,” Mickey muttered, becoming flustered, “that’s me.”

“You’re like, famous and shit.”

“I’m really not, but thanks for the compliment.”

Then finally, the bell for dinner went off, relieving Mickey of the thought that he’d have to sit here and speak to Jonathan for hours, but he was sure Jonathan wouldn’t leave him alone for whatever time Mickey had left here anyway. Mickey really did think this would be easy, but his cellmate was about to turn this into a living hell. Mickey just had to remind himself to keep his cool, and resist the need to punch his annoying fucking face because he couldn’t afford to spend more time in here than necessary.

 

That night, when the lights were out and everyone was fast asleep, Mickey remained wide awake, tossing and turning as he stared vacantly at the metal bars of the bunk above him. It was all catching up to him, and his throat felt tight as his thoughts blared so loudly in his brain that it blocked out his snoring cellmate on the other side of the room.

This fucking sucked, and all he wanted was Ian’s warmth surrounding him whilst Chico slept by his feet. He wanted his family, he missed them.

Mandy's voice was still echoing in his head and how she was screaming for the police to get off him, he wanted to apologize to her. He wanted to apologize to Mandy for dragging her into this, for letting her take this on, and for being the worst brother possible. Not that he had done anything bad, but his thoughts reminded him of the times he let her down. Like when Terry was assaulting her and he was so scared that he just sat in the next room, covering his ears as he broke down in tears, or when her ex boyfriend hit her and he couldn’t find it in him to hurt a man double his size.

He also wanted to apologize for letting her leave with her abuser and come back as an escort. He should’ve been the big brother she needed, but he was never there, and he hated himself for it. 

He hated himself for never being there for his own son, either, and his mind couldn’t help but remind him of how he had left him behind so carelessly. It had been so long since he saw him that Mickey didn’t even know how his child sounded when he spoke, or what his favorite ninja turtle was. He had missed so much by being away, and he couldn’t wait to get out of this mess and finally be the father he’s ready to be. What feared him the most was that Yevgeny wouldn’t even know who he was, but he hoped he would be able to make up for that, hearing Ian’s voice in his head now.

 _“Stop thinking this is it for you,” Ian whispered, tears in his eyes, “You_ will _be back home one day and you_ will _be the father he deserves. You will_ never _be the prick your dad was.”_

That was when his mind drifted off to think about Ian now. He knew he didn’t owe Ian anything, but he felt so bad about letting this happen. For trying to torture Sammi, for breaking out of prison, for putting Ian through the hell that was André Fuentes, and for causing such chaos by letting himself get caught. Mickey bit down on his lip hard as he tried not to cry, trying not to think about what Ian must be like right now.

If they weren’t pretending as if they hadn’t spoken in years, Mickey probably would’ve used his call time to ring Ian and make sure he was okay, reminding him about how much he loves him, but he couldn’t, not when the officers monitor all the calls.

Mickey couldn't help his thoughts. It was just one of those nights where you thought of the _could’ve beens_ and where your past came back to haunt you, and it all overwhelmed Mickey to the point where he wanted to break out of here and run away again, but he couldn’t. Not when his family needed him. Not when his freedom was at stake.

So, he rolled over to face the concrete wall and took a deep breath, keeping his composure as he reminded himself that he had to stay strong through this. He was a Milkovich, after all. He would be okay. He always was.


	34. Chapter 34

Ian didn’t get even a minute of sleep last night. He tossed and turned on the couch he hadn’t moved from all day, removing the blankets when he got too hot, just to pull them back over when he got too cold. He just couldn’t shut his mind off, wishing he were with Mickey instead, and could save him from this mess.

But he couldn’t. He was helpless, unable to think of a way to magically make things better as he began to wonder how Mickey was doing, all alone in the concrete cage that was prison. He didn’t deserve this, neither of them did, and it was driving Ian crazy to think that only 24 hours ago everything was finally calming down, just for them to get torn apart again.

With a sigh, he shut his eyes again, trying to get at least a couple of hours. He knew it would be useless, but maybe sleep wasn’t important anyway? It’s not like he had to go to work or anything. He could just lay here feeling dead inside, and he was okay with that.

As he continued to dwell on what he should’ve done and how much of a failure he was, he heard footsteps make their way downstairs. Ian opened his eyes knowing well that it was Fiona, he had a familiar instinct in him that wanted him to cry to her about his problems, but he held back, just looking over to where she walked in, keeping quiet as she greeted him.

“You’re up early! Did you even sleep? You haven’t moved from that couch,” she felt the need to mention, Ian just nodded.

“I got a few hours,” he lied, Fiona instantly recognized the cold tone in his voice, furrowing her brows with worry.

“Okay, do you want to go and sleep in my bed for a while?”

He shook his head, suddenly feeling like a kid again. It reminded him of the early mornings where after a night of tossing, turning and getting more frustrated as the hours passed, Fiona would come in to wake him and he’d start crying pointlessly over whatever was on his mind.

This was back when Fiona was more like a mother to him than a sister, and she’d wipe his tears away before tucking him into her own bed where he could sleep the day away without worrying about school, family, or boys (which at one point, included Mickey.)

“Alright then, do you want me to go make you some toast and coffee?” she offered.

“Yeah,” Ian croaked with a nod before reaching for his phone that was on less than 20% battery now. It was 7am, just around the time where Mickey would be finishing off breakfast in prison.

“Did you want me to make eggs!?”

“I don’t mind!” Ian called back to his sister, shaking away his thoughts, “Why are you up so early?”

“I’m meeting a new tenant at 8:30,” she continued to converse as she cooked.

“oh, cool.”

“Yeah! They’re willing to pay a lot of money so I’m hoping they follow through.”

Ian huffed, “I hope for your sake that they do,” he finished before moving on, “are you taking Liam to school?”

“No, do you want to?” she wondered, peering around the archway, “he’s pretty adamant on walking himself lately, though.”

“I would,” Ian rested up on his elbows now, “but I’m more worried about the vultures outside that would follow us.”

“Who says they won’t follow him anyway?” Fiona suddenly realized, “Shit, he shouldn’t go alone,” she continued, moving to reach for her phone, “I’ll see if Debbie or Lip will take him!”

“Okay!” Ian called back before reaching for the remote, wanting to turn on the TV, but stopped himself as he realized his and Mickey’s names would be slandered all over the news. He placed it back down and moved onto his side, pulling the blanket over him as he stared into the distance, feeling so hollow inside.

Moments seemed to pass and Fiona finally came in with Ian’s breakfast, forcing him to sit up as he sipped his coffee. At the same time, his phone went off with him morning alarm reminding him about his medicine. He quickly switched it off, tapping Fiona’s arm.

“Could you pass me my backpack, please?” he asked her, and she instantly obliged, grabbing it from the armchair to pass to him. He unzipped it and started digging for his pill container whilst Fiona took a seat on the coffee table, just watching as he took his medication.

“How are you feeling?” Fiona wondered with a soft, sympathetic tone, catching Ian off guard, “I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.”

Ian didn’t respond, burning his throat with the scalding coffee. Fiona sighed.

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I’m not going to yell at you or anything like that. You’re an adult Ian, whatever you do is your decision.”

Putting the mug down, Ian had to smirk to himself at how familiar her manipulative words came out. She always did this with her siblings; trying to manipulate them into trusting her only to have her use their pain against them later. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, and maybe it helped her when the kids were younger so they would do as she asked, but Ian couldn’t find it in him to trust her, not after how he vented to her about Mickey when he got out, and how she told him that Mickey would set a match to his life.

Perhaps she wasn’t wrong, in a way, because Ian’s life now isn’t how it was before Mickey escaped prison, but this life felt somewhat worthwhile in comparison, and Ian kind of blamed Fiona for his original decision to not go with Mickey to Mexico. The words Fiona was using now suddenly made Ian feel defensive, a flame within him filling his hollowness.

“Ian, are you listening?”

He chose to stay silent, picking up a piece of his toast and taking a bite. Fiona pursed her lips, trying to be patient and not show her frustration as she rested her hand upon his shoulder.

“I know how much Mickey means to you.”

 _'You don’t_ ,' Ian almost felt inclined to say, but he didn’t, reaching for the TV remote as he now preferred to watch TV than listen to her. Fiona instantly felt insulted, removing her hand from his shoulder now.

“Fine,” she almost snarled, getting up and making her way upstairs to make sure Liam was ready.

Ian let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, relieved that she was gone, but he knew he couldn’t hide from her forever when it came to Mickey. There would be an argument between them sometime soon, Ian was sure of it, especially after the jealousy she showed towards him and Debbie last night.

In all honesty though, he couldn’t find it in him to care for that worthless drama, more concerned for Mickey as he read the headline, ‘ _MISSING FUGITIVE_ _FOUND IN SISTER’S APARTMENT.’_

It made his eyes tear up, and in that moment, he decided to switch the channel to cartoons, wishing this would all go away. He had almost had enough of this fighting for justice, he just wanted it to be over. He was so sick of the ache in his chest knowing that Mickey was in prison because of him.

He pushed his breakfast away and let it get cold as he laid back down and rolled over to face the sofa, not even feeling the tear that managed to escape as he finally started to drift into a deep sleep, the words, ‘ _I’m so sorry…_ ’ slowly fading out of his mind.

There was so much guilt within him, and no one could fix that. Not Lip, not Debbie, not Mandy or Fiona. Nobody. He deserved to feel guilty for this, at least that’s what he told himself. This was his fault, and it was up to him to deal with it.

Would he, though? Or would he run away? Just like he had many times before.

Not even Ian knew at this rate.

* * *

“Milkovich!?” a guard called out, causing Mickey to rise from the metal bench as he stayed quiet, following through to the closed visiting room.

His eyes felt so heavy, he wasn’t sure how much he slept. His mind wouldn’t stop racing, his back now aching from the foam mattress and the bed frame.

Then, his mind suddenly fell silent as he saw a complete stranger on the other side of the glass. He knew it wouldn’t have been Ian, but he at least expected Mandy to show. He now realized how stupid he was to expect that from her, since she never visited the first time around.

Mickey took his time to sit down, taking in every detail of the man’s face as he tried to recognize him, but he didn’t. The man picked up the phone and nodded at Mickey to grab his. As he did so and rested the phone to his ear, the man introduced himself.

“I’m Alfonso Encarnacion, I worked with your ex Ian on your other case, and I will be your defender for today’s arraignment—free of charge.”

He spoke so quick Mickey was finding it hard to keep up, it was far too early and too soon to be doing this but Mickey knew he had to shake it off, staying professional.

“Thank you,” his voice strained, “you and him did well. I appreciate it.”

“Please, it’s no problem,” he spoke as if it were an honor, “Is it safe for me to assume that you’ve been through this before?”

“Yeah,” Mickey nodded, before asking the one thing that was on his mind, “have you spoken to Ian? Is he okay?”

Alfonso was instantly surprised by the question, but responded honestly.

“He wouldn’t pick up when I called so I’m not sure—but this is about you, Mr. Milkovich. Try not to worry too much.”

Mickey stayed quiet as he thought to himself, ' _easier said than done_.'

Feeling the tension now, the lawyer instantly moved on, trying to get them both through the next few hours.

“When you’re called it should only be about 90 seconds. The judge will read out the charges, and you will say not guilty—”

“But I am guilty,” Mickey argued, “I broke out of prison.”

“Only because you were unfairly convicted! You didn’t get a fair trial, and the court should know that.”

Mickey let out a sigh, knowing he had no choice but to put complete trust into this man.

“Okay, fine, but you better get me out of this shit hole.”

Alfonso smiled positively, “I promise I will do the best I can. See you in there.”

Mickey nodded and hung up the phone, heading out of the room as nervous butterflies filled his tummy. _Here we go_.

 

Mandy and Lip made their way inside the courtroom right on time for Mickey’s arraignment, managing to score a spot near the front of the room as the bailiff began to announce the court details. Mandy couldn’t help but notice how washed out her brother looked, his eyes dark from what Mandy assumed was lack of sleep.

While Mandy worried, Lip made eye contact with Alfonso who nodded in assurance that this was under control. It better be, because Lip wasn’t sure what he’d do or say to Ian if this fell through and Mickey had to stay in prison.

Lip had made himself believe he didn’t care for Mickey, and only did because of Mandy and Ian, but times seemed to be changing. He wasn’t nervous just for Ian’s sake, he was nervous for Mickey. After having lived with him for some time and getting to know him better, he knew he didn’t deserve this.

Even if Ian is feeling so down about this and wanted to give up, Lip wouldn’t, because not only was Mickey his friend, but he knew that if he didn’t help Ian through this, all this hard work would’ve been for nothing. He didn’t want Ian to be filled with regret once again.

“Is council present?” The judge questioned as Alfonso made his way to the glass cage where fresh inmates sat.

“Yes, your honor,” he responded, signaling to Mickey that it was his time to stand.

Mickey stood up with this head held high as he walked over to the wire gauged door, but instead of caring for the case, his eyes darted to the crowd, noticing how Mandy looked back at him with sorry eyes. That’s when his heart sank, realizing Ian wasn’t here either.

Sure, maybe it’d be strange for Ian to come considering the world believes they hadn’t seen each other in years, but Mickey had the slightest hope that Ian would be here fighting for this. He even started to become a bit worried. First, he wouldn’t answer Alfonso’s calls, and now he wasn’t at the arraignment. Maybe Ian had given up? But Mickey shook that away, Ian had worked so hard to get them here, he couldn’t just give up now. Then his thoughts went darker. Maybe Ian had a psychotic break? Maybe Mickey was too much for him and this was all over. He almost prayed that wasn’t the case.

“Read the charges,” the judge requested, the prosecutor instantly obeyed.

“Prison escape from an attempted murder conviction, drug trafficking/distribution, and assistance in embezzlement.”

Mickey instantly looked to his sister and Lip who looked just as confused and alarmed as he was. _Drug trafficking? Embezzlement?_ Those were André’s crimes, not Mickey’s, so why was he about to get charged for them?

Did the state hate how supported his case was that they were doing all they could to sabotage him? Did André frame him? He could feel panic rise within him, he just wanted to scream, ‘ _I didn’t do it!’_

“How does the defendant plead?”

As the judge questioned, everyone’s eyes turned to Mickey who stood tall with confidence. He was furious, and those flames in his veins helped him defend his innocence.

“Not guilty, your honor,” Mickey spoke, loud and clear.

“Defense requests the accused be released on his own recognizance,” Alfonso proceeded, and the prosecutor was quick to inform the judge the details behind the charges.

“Manipulated security to be released from prison, assisted in a drug ring and the embezzlement of a company.”

Mickey leaned towards his lawyer, snarling through his teeth, “I didn’t fucking do that!”

Alfonso raised his hand to stop him, “we’ll discuss this later.”

The judge sighed as he concluded, “bail is set at $300,000, check with the clerk to get a preliminary hearing date. Next.”

 He banged the gavel and Mickey instantly fired up, “You better fucking fix this!”

“I will,” Alfie responded calmly, “please sit-down Mr. Milkovich.”

Mickey took a deep breath and made his way back to his seat as Alfonso made his way out of the courtroom. Lip and Mandy continued to sit there with a look of shock on their faces.

There was no way they could afford that. Mickey would be stuck here for crimes he didn’t even commit. They wanted to get out of here brainstorm a way to get him out but didn’t, because they knew Mickey needed them, so they stayed there and kept an eye on him.

What were they meant to tell Ian when they got home? This would kill him.

* * *

Back at the Gallagher house, a familiar face was returning home—Carl Gallagher.

He walked with stride to the gate of the baby blue home, feeling nothing but enlightenment in his chest. He was happy to be home after months away, and he was excited to see his family too. He couldn’t wait to see Liam and his niece, as well as Ian who he only knew was home thanks to the news.  He should’ve been upset that Ian didn’t tell him, but from what he read, he knew Ian was dealing with something intense.

As Carl made his way up the steps and through the door, he greeted with a loud, “Hello?” before scoping out the room, quickly noticing the redhead on the couch with a blanket wrapped tight around him. Other than the cartoons that played quietly in the background, no other sound could be heard. It seemed like no one was home.

Carl shrugged and kicked off his military boots before throwing his bag onto the armchair, examining the living room as he noticed Ian’s uneaten eggs and his pills left open on the coffee table. Carl bit his lip as he tried not to worry, placing the cap back on the medicine before poking a finger into the eggs. They were stone cold.

As he licked the remnants off his finger, he carefully sat beside his brother and rocked at his shoulder, hoping for some response.

“Ian?” he whispered, but unfortunately, there was no response, immediately worrying Carl.

“Ian?” he whispered a bit louder, “Are you alright?”

Yet again, no answer. Carl worry became more intense as this all felt far too familiar to what he had experienced with Monica. How long had Ian been like this, alone in the house, asleep on the couch? From the open pill bottle, it indicated he did take his medicine, but maybe they were out of date? Or they just stopped working? He could just be in a deep sleep, but Carl didn’t want to take that risk.

He shook Ian a bit harder this time, speaking clearer, “Ian, it’s Carl.”

“Leave me alone,” Ian mumbled, sinking back into sleep.

Carl furrowed his brows, realizing this wasn’t normal for Ian. He quickly pulled out his phone and went to call Fiona but quickly paused, remembering what she had told him and his siblings.

‘ _I want you all to put me at the bottom of your emergency contact list. Put Lip first, and then Ian, and then Kev and V, and then me._ ’

So, he reached for Lip’s number instead but stopped when he remembered he’d be working. Debbie was likely working too, and he didn’t think this was something so serious he had to call Kev and V about it, especially if it turns out Ian was okay. That’s when another idea struck and he put his phone down, reaching for Ian’s instead.

He went to unlock the phone but was met with the ‘ _Enter Passcode_ ’ screen.

“Shit,” he muttered, shaking Ian again, “Ian, what’s your phone’s passcode?”

“IGMM,” Ian grunted in response, his brain still somewhat in a dream.

Carl looked to the phone with confusion, then back to Ian, “Huh?”

“4466,” Ian sighed, sinking back into sleep.

“Got it,” Carl replied as he stood up, grabbing his bag as he headed upstairs to dial a number only Ian or Fiona’s phone would have.

The phone rang as he plonked his bag on the ground and jumped on the king-single that was usually Ian’s bed, and after a few rings, he was met with greeting.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dr. Finnegan, it’s Carl Gallagher.”

“Carl!” she chimed, “what’s going on? How’s Military school?”

“It’s good,” he nodded, quickly moving on, “I was just wondering if you were busy?”

“Why? What’s going on?” she asked, calm and professional.

“It’s Ian. I just got home and he’s dead asleep and won’t get off the couch. He’s acting weird, but I know he’s taking his meds because they were on the table.”

“Alright, he will be fine, okay? I’ll come around to assess him.”

“Do you think he’s going through a low?”

“Maybe, you never know with this disorder,” she sighed, “I know he’s been through a lot, how could I not? It’s all over the news.”

“Yeah,” Carl huffed, smiling sadly. He wished things were better for both Ian and Mickey, they deserved to be on the news for a good reason, not _this_.

“I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“Alright.”

They said their goodbyes and Carl hung up, quickly changing into more comfortable clothes before making his way downstairs. He grabbed the plate of Ian’s breakfast and the TV remote before sitting on the armchair, flipping to a channel he wanted to watch as he started eating the cold eggs. He wasn’t even bothered by it, more concerned for his older brother that he would keep his eyes on until the doctor eventually showed up.

* * *

After receiving the preliminary hearing date from the clerk, Mandy and Lip headed outside to have a smoke. They lit up their cigarettes and Lip leaned against the concrete fencing around the garden as they dived into a quick chat to figure out how the fuck they were going to deal with this.

“$300,000!? How the _fuck_ are we meant to afford $300,000!?” Mandy panicked, pacing back and forth as she flicked the ash from her fingertips.

“Calm down, alright?” Lip exhaled, “When Fiona’s arraignment came around we only had to pay 10% of the price.”

Mandy stared at Lip, inhaling as she calculated, “$30,000?” she exhaled, “how are we going to get that kind of money?”

“I don’t know,” Lip sighed, defeated, “I have some Monica cash leftover, but it won’t be enough.”

“You only had 10 grand, of course that’s not enough,” she huffed with a nod, “maybe I’ll take up some more shifts, agree to new clients—”

“No!” Lip stood up, grabbing her shoulders in hopes to relax her, “Fuck no, Mickey wouldn’t want you to do that, and you know it.”

She stared up into his big blue eyes and released her tension as she gave up. She knew Mickey wouldn’t like it, but what else could she do? She felt helpless.

“We’ll figure it out,” Lip assured, placing his cigarette back between his lips as he gently grazed his thumbs along his beautiful girlfriend’s cheekbones. Mandy smiled and leaned in for a hug which Lip allowed, removing his cigarette before holding her close, “we’ll figure it out,” he repeated softly.

He wasn’t sure if they would, but he didn’t want Mandy to go back to escorting—not just for his own sanity, but because Mandy was worth so much more than that. She had come so far and he didn’t want her to take a step backwards because of her brother. Mickey was tough, he’d be okay, and if he were to find out that Lip allowed her to sell her body to people, he would _definitely_ rip him a new one.

“What about Ian?” Mandy wondered, pulling her head off his chest so she could look up at him.

“What about him?”

“What are we supposed to do? Not tell him what happened today?”

“We will eventually,” Lip seemed to promise, “but with how upset he seems I don’t want to chance it. He’s better off not knowing.”

Mandy gave a look of worry, clearly not happy with that idea. She backed off completely as she continued her smoke, looking out to the distance so she could get her head wrapped around what was happening.

The couple stood in complete silence, just inhaling and exhaling rhythmically as they tried to not overthink this entire scenario.

Then from the corner of Lip’s eye, he saw Alfonso emerge from the building, practically running away from the courthouse.

“Hey!” Lip shouted, throwing his cigarette as he ran over to him, “How the fuck did he get charged for all that!?”

Alfie stopped in his steps with a sigh, pushing Lip to the side of the walkway where Mandy was rushing to meet up so she could listen in to the conversation.

“I don’t know how, it’s fucking weird but I will do everything in my power to get him out with-little-to-no prison time,” He promised in a low voice, “can you afford 30k?”

“Fuck no, do you think you can lower that, too?” Lip asked.

“I’ll give it my best shot—where’s Ian?”

“At home,” Mandy spoke now, “why?”

“Why wasn’t he here?”

Lip scoffed, “his ex boyfriend just got thrown back in prison, you think he can just adjust to that overnight?”

Alfonso exhaled, aggravated, “Mickey keeps asking about him, and he’s freaking out that he didn’t show up—” he cut himself off, “I can’t afford to care about Ian’s emotions, I have to care for my client now. I need him at the next hearing, and I need him to take advantage of the press that want a piece of him.”

Mandy was instantly offended, but Lip answered before she could argue.

“Then you try telling him that, because he was in a rough place last night, he barely listened to anyone.”

“Fine, I will. I’ll meet you at the house in 30, okay?”

And just like that, Alfonso had taken off to do whatever lawyering bullshit he needed to so he could ensure Mickey gets his fair trial.

Lip and Mandy let out a sigh and looked at one another, unsure what to do about this, but they knew they couldn’t waste any more time just hanging around, so they headed to the car, preparing to see Ian in whatever state he may be in.

* * *

“Ian, it’s Dr. Finnegan,” her familiar voice softly swayed Ian awake, “can you get up for me, please?”

“Huh,” Ian croaked with confusion, his eyes straining at how bright the house was, rubbing his eyes awake.

“Come to the dining table and have a glass of water, we need to chat,” she continued calmly.

Ian forced himself to sit up, groaning from the strain in his back as he looked around the room, a lazy smile shining through as he recognized Carl.

“Carl, you’re home,” he sighed before realizing this wasn’t a dream. Carl was truly back, and his doctor was paying a visit. Suddenly, he was finding it hard to connect the dots as to what was happening, and a glance at the TV was enough of a reminder of the reality he had returned to.

“Can you make your way into the kitchen?” She asked again, making him pay attention as he furrowed his brows with a nod, making his way off the couch.

Dr. Harper Finnegan treated him like a delicate sunflower, helping him lift from the couch and rubbing his back in comforting circles as she guided him away from the living room.

Looking at Carl, Ian was starting to connect the dots now. He looked worried, and a bit embarrassed, Ian concluded that he must’ve called Harper. Usually, he’d be frustrated and angry, but he understood…kind of.

“You called the doctor on me?” he continued to croak, his throat dry.

“You weren’t waking up,” Carl mumbled, clearly ashamed.

Ian went tight-lipped and turned his head to notice the jug of water and medical bag on the table. This felt familiar, not from real life experience, but work experience. They had helped and spoken to many clients in this somewhat-friendly format before.

He helped himself to a seat at the table, whilst Harper sat beside him and poured him an ice-cold glass of water. Ian just watched her quietly, unable to shake the foggy sadness that filled his body as Carl sat beside him, now pouring a glass for himself.

“How are you feeling, Ian?” She asked, pulling out her notepad and pen.

“Fine, if we’re talking about my bipolar,” he stated, but she wouldn’t believe him. He knew that.

“Are you sure? You haven’t seen me in a while, I almost called you. How have you been getting your medications?”

Ian tried to remain calm on the outside whilst his brain scrambled to find an answer. What was he going to tell her? That he stole a car, rammed into a pharmacy and stole meds? That would be far too risky. He grabbed the glass of water and sculled it to buy himself some time, as well as refresh the cottonmouth that just wouldn’t go away.

“I’ll be honest,” he exhaled, placing the glass down, “I took a break from them while I went on holiday for a few months.”

“Really?” she responded with disappointment.

“Well you wouldn’t give them to me—It doesn’t matter, I’ve been on them again properly for a month or two now and I’m fine.”

“Ian, you can’t just pick and choose when and when not to take your medication, it will throw your chemicals out of whack, and the medicine won’t be able to do its job.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Of course, he knew the dangers, he already experienced it once before in Mexico. He stared at his glass and span it, feeling his sadness anchor deeper.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do,” his voice whispered. He tried so bad not to let this situation get to him, even though it was starting to feel like an interrogation.

He reminded himself again not to be mad at Carl. How could he be when his little brother was just thrown into the deep end of all this drama? He has no idea what’s been going on.

“It’s okay, but I am going to be giving you some other medications,” the doctor informed before opening her bag. Ian watched as she pulled out some of the old prescription and some new ones. He started to glare at them, knowing how the side effects will affect him. It was something that would cause him to struggle more through this harsh reality, but he couldn’t disobey his doctor any longer.

“As you can probably already tell,” she started to explain, showing him the medications, “you’re already on this one, and I want you to stay on this one—as for this, you might be familiar with—”

“Olanzapine,” Ian sighed, “made me either emotionally numb, or over-emotional.”

“That’s just for the start though, it’ll ease over time. You haven’t taken a strong anti-depressant in a while, but I think it’s necessary.”

Ian just nodded, taking the pills from her, “is that it?”

“Have you had any trouble sleeping?” she wondered.

“Only last night, but otherwise, I’m fine.”

She hummed and slid a small prescription of valium across to Carl, “this is for those nights like last night, or when your anxiety spikes. I’ll give this to Carl so you don’t take it when you don’t need it.”

“I’m an adult, I think I’m capable of taking care of myself,” Ian huffed an argument, and she just bit back harder.

“Really? Then why are you staying up all night, skipping medications and putting yourself in stressful situations?”

“I can’t help that when life gets tough, I forget and fall off the tracks. I can’t be babied all the time!”

“Then baby yourself. I want you to rest, get 8 hours a night, take your medication at the same time every day with food, and I suggest you stay as far away as you can from the drama that has to do with your ex—”

Ian instantly zoned out when he remembered Mickey. He looked down again, so torn over whether to fight or flight. He knew he loved him, more than anyone in the universe, but his doctor was making him feel weak and like this was the worst thing for him. Maybe he just wasn’t strong enough?

“This is dangerous for you and your health,” she continued, “try and stay out of the spotlight as much as you can, and don’t consume yourself with news, it’s not good for you.”

“Got it,” Ian nodded, his voice empty, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she smiled kindly before glancing at her watch, “Okay, I better go. Ian, I’ve booked an appointment with you for the 21st next month at 12, I will call beforehand to make sure you’re on the way.”

Ian nodded, looking besides him to see Carl writing this down. He had to smile at how much his little brother cared. Harper quickly gathered her things and headed out the back door, leaving the pills she got for Ian behind.

“Bye guys, be safe!”

“Bye!” Ian and Carl sang in unison as she walked out. The second the door closed, Ian snatched the valium from Carl, reading the label.

“You sure you can do this?” Carl wondered, clear worry in his tone.

“I’m not depressed, Carl,” Ian exhaled, looking at him, “This isn’t because of my illness, I’m sad because of Mickey. This is genuine sadness. It’s not as bad as when I’m _you know_ , but it’s still pretty bad.”

Carl stared sorely into Ian’s eyes, noticing the dark circles that surrounded them.

“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t sure—”

“Don’t be, I’m not mad at you I’m just,” he paused, “mad at the world, I guess.”

“I get it, I have been trying to keep up to date with the news since no one really talks to me when I’m away, and you really did work your ass off for him. Maybe the rest of the guys didn’t think he deserved justice, or deserved you, but I always did.”

Ian smiled gratefully at his brother now, happy to hear words that weren’t pure facts, or were trying to coax Ian into a trap.

“Thanks,” he replied, before remembering something important, “Oh, before I forget!”

Carl watched as Ian jumped up from the chair, moving the fastest he had ever seen him move since he got home. Ian made his way to a pile of freshly clean, folded clothing and searched through them.

“I got Fiona to wash it so it’d be clean when you got home,” Ian explained, making his way back over and handed a t-shirt over.

Carl grinned and unfolded it, happy that Ian remembered what he had asked for. He loved the mustardy color and the old-style convertible on the front with the typical ‘ _Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas_ ’ logo. It was authentic, and a bit over-sized, but Carl didn’t mind.

“Thanks, man. This is great!” he chuckled, instantly removing the shirt he already had on to replace it with his new one, “how was the trip anyway?” he asked as Ian sat back down.

“Good, saw some nice beaches,” Ian told him with a smile, “How’s Military school?”

“It’s good,” Carl responded, trying to hide his cheesy smile. Ian raised his eyebrows curiously.

“Just good, huh?” he smirked in response.

But before Ian could dig deeper into that conversation, a knock came at the back door, making Carl jump up to answer it. He made his way over and pulled it open to reveal Ian’s lawyer Alfonso, making Ian’s chest feel suddenly heavy again. Carl really had managed to distract him for a few minutes, but now he was back to feeling like shit.

“I came around the back so the press wouldn’t get suspicious. Ian, we need to talk,” Alfie spoke sternly, which just confused Carl more and made him defensive.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Carl wondered, “Ian needs to—”

“Carl it’s fine, he’s Mickey’s—My— _Our_ , lawyer,” he told him, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Oh,” Carl instantly ceased, casually wandering away from the door as he went to raid the fridge. Alfonso helped himself inside and shut the door behind him, helping himself to a seat next to Ian.

Ian wasn’t sure what to say, he wasn’t even sure what this was about. He couldn’t be _that_ mad over Ian not answering his calls, right?

“Why didn’t you answer my calls last night?”

_Or maybe he was._

“My ex was found, his ex is dead, did you really think this wouldn’t get to me?” Ian replied irritably, “I needed a minute to breathe.”

“Well your minute is up, I need your head back in the game,” Alfie continued to be harsh on Ian, and Ian tried not to let it get to him, but the only person that seemed to be nice to him today was Carl. It was slowly suffocating him.

“Why?” Ian responded simply, putting his guard up. He was going to stay professional and keep his emotions hidden. He needed to assess whatever he was getting himself into.

“Because you have an ex-boyfriend that is still madly in love with you,” he explained in a softer tone now, “I met him today for his arraignment and he was devastated that after all you’ve done, you didn’t show up when he needed you the most.”

Ian scoffed, not believing most of what he just said, why would he want to see him? Mickey should be angry at him.

“What are you trying to do, manipulate me?”

“No, Ian, but you came to me wanting this to work, and I’m trying, so if you could just cooperate with me—”

“How? There’s nothing I can do,” Ian blurted, defeated, “I did what I could, and now Mickey’s in prison, I can’t get him out of there and I feel like fucking shit—” Ian stopped himself, closing his eyes as he reminded himself to withhold his emotions, “I can’t get him out of there because that’s _your_ job, so why are you calling me about it?”

“Because your relationship with him is what will keep the jury and judge from being harsh when the trials come around. I need you to stop acting like a dick and visit him, I need you to be vulnerable. You see those vans outside? That’s your ticket. You speak to just one of those reports and you will affect the views of not just the jury, but the judge.”

Ian stared down at his fingertips as the back door opened, making him look up at Lip and Mandy who walked in. They froze at first, realizing Alfonso had beat them here, but closed the door and helped themselves to a seat.

“So, what have we missed?” Lip asked.

“I’m just telling Ian that I need his help,” Alfonso begun as Ian tuned out, looking back down at his hands as he evaluated the situation.

A part of him wanted to give up on Mickey because he felt so weak inside. Mickey deserved better than a failure like Ian, and Ian just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him behind that glass again—because of him. The wound was still so fresh that Ian just wanted to hide away and heal. Perhaps that was why he was acting this way, not wanting to deal with it because he had betrayed the promises he made to himself and Mickey.

He shouldn’t want to fight for Mickey, he should be listening to his doctor and resting, but, how could he? How could he just leave Mickey when they were so sure this time? How could he abandon him when they loved each other with every inch of one another’s soul?

He didn’t mind self-sabotage. Hell, it was what he was known for, but he wasn’t a teenager anymore. He couldn’t willingly make selfish decisions to live in misery because deep down Ian knew that even for Mickey, it would never get as good as he has it with Ian. Their relationship was something worth fighting for, and Alfonso was right. Ian had to stop being a dick, cooperate, and visit Mickey so he could tell him how much he loved him.

Ian didn’t want to be the bad guy, or the guy who continuously abandoned Mickey after trying to prove he was better than that. He was going to fight for him. Fuck what the doctor says.

“I’ll do it,” Ian suddenly spoke, looking at the lawyer, “tell me what it’ll take, and I’ll do it.”

A wide grin appeared on Alfie’s face, “that’s what I like to hear! I just need you to talk to him because he’s very closed off when he speaks to me, and I need you to take advantage of the press, don’t fear them, share how you feel, and lastly, show up in court so they can see your support, and that you’re not just saying things for the sake of good press.”

“Alright,” Ian nodded, “I can do that.”

It was in that moment that Fiona came through the front door. At first, she was happy to find Carl was home, but her smile slowly faded the closer she got to the kitchen.

“Who’s the dude in the 3-piece?” Fiona casually wondered, and that was when Alfie sensed that it was time to leave.

He got up and smiled down at Ian, “We’ll be in touch.”

Fiona just stood back and watched as this stranger made his way out the back door, walking closer cautiously as Carl passed her, realizing Lip was home.

“Carl!” Lip beamed, jumping up from his chair to give him a hug hello, Mandy only a few steps behind.

“So, who was he?” Fiona asked Ian who looked up at her now.

“My lawyer,” he told her casually, “Mickey’s lawyer.”

“you’ve got to be shittin’ me,” Fiona let out a laugh before noticing the medications on the table, “And what’s this?” she wondered, picking them up to read.

Ian sighed, knowing exactly where this was going to go.

“My new medication.”

Mandy, Lip and Carl tensed, sensing where this would go too, but they tried to remain casual, helping themselves to some coffee before proceeding to small-talk.

“Are you serious?” Fiona began to patronize Ian, “This is because of Mickey, isn’t it?”

“No—”

“Then what? Because this mornin’ you were the worst I had seen you in years.”

Ian tried to hold back and keep the composure he had been managing to hold through his conversations with both Dr. Finnegan and Alfonso, but this was pushing him over the edge. He was sick of being poked at for something they didn’t understand. Something they could _never_ understand.

“You tryin’ to tell me it’s some coincidence that you fall apart and need new medications the second Mickey is caught? See, this is what I was talking about when I said he’d set a match to your life!”

“Jesus Christ, Fiona!” Ian shouted, jumping up from the chair, “I’m not broken! I’m not your fragile little boy, and Mickey isn’t just some fucking criminal! You knew him! You _all_ did, so why the fuck do you act like he meant nothing to us!?”

“Because he fucked up! He had more than enough chances to prove himself but in the end, but he proved that he was just like his father all along,” Fiona snarled, “and you can’t act like I’m wrong about him setting the match when your life has turned to shit! You nearly lost your job, you have unnecessary attention for something _he_ did and dedicate so much time to him when it’s his own fault that he broke out of prison! And now you’re worn out and in need of new medication. You need to rest, and stop including yourself with someone who has been nothing but a disaster to your life—”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Ian screamed, flipping the chair over as he made his way to tower over her, “You don’t know shit!”

“Because you never talk to me!” she shouted back, looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, because you pull this shit! Let me be me, Fiona. Let me live how I wish to fuckin’ live!”

Fiona took a deep breath and stepped away, “I don’t even know why you’re doing this for him.”

“Because I love him!” Ian declared, “I fucking _love_ him, and this isn’t the same love you had with _Jimmy, Sean,_ _Gus_ or the other thousand men you've been with. This is something deeper than that, better, even. Stronger.”

The room fell silent now, Fiona not even sure how to respond to that.

“So, maybe it’s just because you don’t understand, but I am sick of not only you, but all those around me continuing to hang judgement over my head for something I know I want, and have known that I want since I was 15 years old,” Ian paused to allow her to speak, but when he got no response, he finished off, “I’ve made my decision, and sure, I’m sad right now but I’m happy with where I’m headed, and I’ll be even happier once Mickey is free and we can start our lives together the way we should, and you can’t do anything about that that, okay?”

Fiona sniffed, taking a second to take in what he was saying before nodding, “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Ian sighed, taking a few steps back to let her breathe.

Fiona didn’t have anything else to say, not even giving the others in the room a glance as she just made her way upstairs. Mandy instantly walked over to give Ian a hug to which Ian sunk into and squeezed her so tight he thought he was going to cry. This had been building up for so long and it felt so good to finally let it out.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, “and he would be, too. Thank you.”

Ian just squeezed harder and buried his face in his hair, trying to forget how close he was to letting Mickey down and letting their relationship fall apart again.

 

That night while everyone including Frank, Liam, Debbie and Franny enjoyed dinner in the living room, Fiona made her was downstairs with a packed duffle and a blanket. Her family didn’t even turn their heads, more consumed by Mrs. Doubtfire on the TV than Fiona, or the actual conversation they were having. Clearly, Fiona has had enough of her family for one night, especially Ian, but Ian didn’t care, he was full of pride.  

“I’m going to Patsy’s for a few nights, I’ve been neglecting the place anyway,” she informed her family who continued to watch TV instead, “maybe work on a new menu or something.”

“’kay,” Carl responded, scooping more Mac ‘n’ Cheese into his mouth. Fiona just rolled her eyes, making her way to the door.

“Good luck to you!” Frank called as she made her out. The family remained quiet, listening to her car drive away.

Lip and Mandy smirked at each other, finding it funny whilst everyone continued eating as if nothing was a problem. That was until Debbie spoke, however.

“Did she really pull a Fiona?”

“Yeah, but Ian roasted her, it was fucking wicked!” Carl enthused.

“Hey,” Ian nudged, “I was just telling her how it is. Not my fault she got so offended. If she were nice about it, I probably would’ve told her nicely.”

“Bullshit,” Lip scoffed, “you had thousands of opportunities to talk about it with her.”

“Yeah, and I chose not to for this exact reason—”

“You’re not wrong,” Frank interrupted now, “Fiona’s always been the strongest, and I’ve always been proud of her for that! But that also makes her the most stubborn. She never likes things when they aren’t going her way. Take yesterday for example, I came home with a small dime bag and she kicked me onto the street. Was that fair? No!”

Everyone went silent, staring at Frank as if he were crazy as they listened to him ramble.

“Ian, you made your stand and defeated the beast. That's what matters. Well done,” he congratulated, filling Ian with both humor and confusion.

“Thanks, Frank,” he huffed, holding back his laughter as he started to eat his food again.

The Fiona-less family enjoyed their dinner and movie without a care in the world, but for Ian, it was a different story. He was scared to see Mickey and hear his disappointment, not only that but to see him so sad without being able to touch him. If Ian had superpowers, he wished he could walk in there and tear the walls between them down just so he could hold him and tell him how sorry he was.

God, he was even more worried about the state he’d be in thanks to the new meds, and how Mickey would react to finding out about them. Ian hoped he wouldn’t blame himself, but he knew Mickey wouldn’t be able to help it, just like Ian can’t help but blame himself for what happened to Mickey.

Another thing was André; he had no idea if Mickey had found out yet, and he was worried for what his reaction may be. Even if they weren’t in love or whatever, Mickey did care for him at some point in his life and lived with him. It would have to hurt a little bit. If the news stung Ian, it could break Mickey.

This was a lot for Ian to take on, but he just had to remind himself of all the obstacles they had gone through to get here, and how they always managed to be alright in the end. The only difference was this was the last obstacle, the finale before they got to spend the rest of their lives together, just as they were destined to.


	35. Chapter 35

“Mr. Gallagher, what was your opinion on your son fighting for Mikhailo’s justice?”

“I gotta be honest with you, I didn’t really have one,” Frank answered the reporter, “But the whole family has been supporting him, especially me! I know what it’s like to be fucked up the ass by the law, it’s not the best feeling!”

Ian’s siblings cringed as they watched Frank through the window and how he just bathed in the media’s spotlight on their front lawn. He didn’t even care that the last thing Ian needed right now was pesky journalists, which wasn’t a shock, but Frank didn’t stop there, making golden statements for the news reporter.

“My son in law doesn’t deserve to be locked away for something he didn’t do—and yes, even though he’s not with Ian anymore I still consider him family—he’s a great kid, intuitive too. Let me ask you, do you think Mickey would’ve broken out of prison if he had actually committed a crime?”

“Uh, I’m not sure—”

“He wouldn’t! Because he’s been through the system enough times to know better. That’s more than enough proof that he didn’t do it.”

Lip shook his head, “Jesus Christ, he just doesn’t know when to shut up.”

“Has he ever?” Carl wondered.

“Nope,” Debbie replied, “we’re lucky he doesn’t know a lot about it.”

“What does that mean?” Carl asked, alarming Debbie because she had forgotten Carl didn’t know much at all.

“Nothing, I’m just saying that he hasn’t been as involved as we are,” she assured, turning from the window to see Ian dragging himself down the stairs into the kitchen, “Ian!” she sang, making the other two let go of the curtain as they turned to pay attention to their brother.

Ian didn’t respond, sluggishly pouring himself a coffee before reaching for his medication. The siblings walked over and watched how he downed the pills without hesitation. None of them wanted to tell him that he needed to eat something before taking them in fear that he’d lash out.

“What’s out the window?” Ian asked, trying to start a conversation since he could sense their uneasiness.

“Frank’s talking to reporters,” Carl informed. Ian huffed, finding humor in that.

“Can’t wait to see how that goes,” he murmured, making his way over to the dining table where he pulled out a seat and sat down.

“Do you want me to make you anything?” Lip offered.

“I can make scrambled eggs, just how you like them?” Debbie added.

“Not hungry,” Ian sighed, shutting his eyes as he rubbed at his temple.

“I’ll make you some toast,” Lip concluded, pulling out two pieces of bread while Debbie was distracted by her daughter shouting ‘ _mommy!’_ from upstairs.

“Did you not sleep enough?” Carl asked Ian as he poured himself some juice.

“I did, it’s just the meds, I even took the valium so my head feels really foggy,” he groaned, wishing he could smash his head against the table. It wasn’t just the meds that bothered him, it was the idea of seeing Mickey. He would be visiting him soon, and he dreaded seeing him behind that glass again.

He was scared to see how broken he looked and was scared to be told how much he had failed him. He knew it would likely take a toll on his emotions despite how emotionally numb he felt right now, but he wanted to see Mickey. He needed to, because maybe it’d help him get out of this rut his mind had sunken into. Hell, maybe Mickey did want to see him, even after all this bullshit he's put him through.

“Here,” Lip brought him to reality by placing a plate with two pieces of toast in front of him.

He thanked him, even though he wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or from taking his meds on an empty stomach but he wasn’t reacting well, and was beginning to get nauseous. He tried to fight through it, biting into the bland toast with peanut butter.

“Mandy will be here in 20 to take you to visit Mickey, I’d come but I have work.”

“That’s fine,” Ian spoke with his mouth full, “I could’ve taken myself, you know?”

Lip scoffed at that idea as if he couldn’t trust Ian to do that without getting into trouble, which dampened Ian’s mood even more. He just wanted this day to be over so he could crawl back into bed and act like he wasn’t a nuisance to those around him. He was only out of bed right now for Mickey’s sake, and was going to continue to push through this for him. If it weren’t for Mickey, Ian would’ve given up a long time ago. Ian just hoped this would all be worth it in the end.

As he took another bite into the bread and swallowed, he could slowly feel his body rejecting it, “oh fuck.”

Ian covered his mouth and jumped up from his seat, running to the bathroom behind him and shutting the door so his family wouldn’t be disturbed by his retching.

His brothers stood in the kitchen with a look of disgust on their faces, any type of appetite they had being thrown out the window now.

“Jesus, you’re really that bad of a cook that you can’t even make toast without making someone puke,” Carl teased, Lip instantly back-handed his arm as Debbie made her way back down the stairs, Franny on her hip.

“Shut up!” Lip snarled playfully.

“What’s wrong with Ian?” Debbie asked as she opened the fridge to get some juice.

“What isn’t wrong with him lately?” Carl mumbled, causing Debbie to sigh as she passed Franny to Lip so she could fill a sippy cup with watered down juice.

“Do you worry Fiona might be right?” She wondered, Lip shook his head.

“No, Ian’s doing the right thing and is trying to fix the situation—”

“What if it was never broken?” Carl replied, taking a seat at the bench, “I mean I love Mickey as much as you guys but he’s in a really bad way.”

“That’s not Mickey’s fault,” Lip scoffed, “Ian will be fine, he always is.”

The family went quiet as they waited for Ian to return. They tried to hide their concern as they heard his retching loud and clear. Carl and Debbie started to feel guilty for doubting him and trying to pin the blame on Mickey. Lip had a point, and Ian was the one who got himself into this mess, that’s no one’s fault but his own.

Debbie took Franny from Lip and moved around to place her in her high chair, the flush off the toilet filled the void as they carried on with their morning routine as nonchalantly as possible. Lip looked over as Ian opened the door and entered the room looking more washed out than before, scratching at his chin.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth now,” he stated calmly, sluggishly making his way up the steps.

“Good idea, Mandy will be here soon,” Lip reminded him before sighing. He hated seeing Ian this way, but he knew it was for the right reasons. Ian was taking his medication, and that’s what mattered.

 

On the drive to the prison Ian and Mandy found themselves sitting in silence, a rare occurrence for these best friends who usually were laughing and screaming along to the radio. Ian was slumped in his seat, leaning his head against the window as he watched the world pass outside, wishing his emotions weren’t overcrowding his mind. He hated that Mickey had to see him like _this_ , a depressed fuck up who was now a failure. He had failed Mickey, and he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself for that.

Ian breathed deeply and tried not to think, looking over at Mandy with slight concern. What was up with her? This whole time she had been positive and open, but now she was closed off and cold, just here to be Ian’s chauffeur and nothing else.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” she replied with a hint of guilt. Ian could see right through her lies.

“You’re quiet,” Ian noted.

“You’re the quiet one, what’s up with you?” she flipped the script now, even though it was obvious what was wrong.

Ian rolled his eyes as he sat up, dropping his curiosity since she clearly didn’t want to discuss what was bothering her.

“I’m scared to see Mickey,” Ian admitted, reaching for his smokes on the dashboard.

“Why?” Mandy furrowed her brows, gesturing for Ian to pass her one as well. He sighed as he did so, shaking his head and placing the cigarette between his lips, cracking open his window.

“Because I fucked up,” Ian mumbled before lighting up.

“And you think he’d be mad at you for that?” She questioned, holding her hand out for the lighter.

Ian nodded and passed it over as he inhaled, watching Mandy easily light her smoke with one hand whilst she steered with the other.

“I’d be mad at me, too. I promised he’d be okay and now—” Ian huffed, clear disappointment in his tone.

“He’s not going to be mad. He’ll be thankful,” She assured, “He’d like to know that you aren’t going to abandon him. He doesn’t care if you fucked up, Ian, because that’s what people do. We fuck up.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ian muttered before inhaling his cigarette, flicking the ash out the window, another worry settling into his mind now, “I have to tell him about André.”

“Fuck,” Mandy breathed, shaking her head, “I can believe he offed himself.”

“Me either. None of it feels real,” Ian sighed, looking out to the road ahead, “nothing about this does.”

“I wish it wasn’t, believe me. I wish Mickey never got into a fight with Sammi in the first place.”

“That makes two of us,” Ian chuckled, trying to make some light of the situation. Mandy smiled at Ian, happy to hear his laugh.

“We’re nearly there by the way,” Mandy warned so Ian could brace himself for what was to come. It instantly sent Ian’s stomach flooding with butterflies of anxiety. He was excited to see Mickey, of course, but scared due to the circumstances. This was going to be hard.

Mandy pulled up in front of the tall building in the center of Chicago, disguised perfectly to look like any other building but it was far from it. Ian’s eyes carried all the way to the top, beginning to feel like prince charming trying to save Rapunzel, but unfortunately Mickey just didn’t have hair long enough to reach to the ground. That thought both humored and saddened Ian. He wished this were as simple as the fairytales.

“I’ll be back in an hour, okay?” Mandy told him, dragging him away from his strange imagination. He looked over at her with confusion.

“You’re not coming?”

“No, I got shit to do,” she replied bluntly.

“A-Alright, Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, “I’ll see you soon, then.”

“Tell Mickey I said hello, okay?”

Ian nodded and got out of the car. The friends said a quick goodbye and Mandy drove off, leaving Ian alone in the middle of the sidewalk, not fazed by the sound of the L train that zoomed past as he kept his gaze up at the building. This was it, and Ian had a strange tingle course through him from knowing how close he was to Mickey. It was like he could sense him.

 

After making his way inside the building and going through all the paperwork, he followed the guard who escorted him to the visiting room. Everything was so bright, modern and well secured. Even if Mickey could let down his golden hair, there’s no way it’d work.

The guard opened the door for him, continuing to give him the V.I.P treatment as he guided him to a seat in front of the glass that would separate him from his boyfriend. It was already starting to ache, but he smiled and kindly thanked the guard before resting his elbows on the small bench in front of him, his fingers intertwining as he shook his leg nervously, just staring through the glass to the security door where Mickey would emerge from.

“Is that the redhead from the news?” another visitor nearby whispered. Ian pretended to ignore it, looking over at them from the corner of his eye. It seemed to be a couple, husband and wife, happily sticking their noses in places they don’t belong.

“Yeah, think so,” the husband whispered back.

Ian kept his cool, but being in here was just making his brain feel more crowded than before. He just wanted Mickey, but he couldn’t even have that. His eyes were already stinging at the idea of seeing and hearing him, but more than anything he craved his warmth. It was so lonely inside of Ian’s mind, he was lost without Mickey, and he had no idea when he’d be able to properly see him again.

His eyes continued to wander, noticing how many visitors seemed to recognize him, but thankfully kept to themselves. That put some ease onto Ian’s mind, because that meant no one would eavesdrop. They shouldn’t anyway, not when they had their own relatives to care about.

A loud buzz came from the speakers, giving Ian a jolt. He could feel his heart begin to race, his eyes now focused on the door as it opened to reveal prisoners making their way in one by one. Ian could feel butterflies in his stomach as he sensed Mickey’s presence, and felt it getting stronger as two more prisoners made their way through to reveal _him_.

That dark hair and those pale eyes were recognizable anywhere, even with those dark circles beneath them. Ian watched with concern as Mickey sadly looked around the room, but then his eyes locked on Ian, and despite the gloom hanging over his head he smiled brightly, excited to see his boyfriend in the first time in what felt like years.

Ian smiled back softly, feeling his eyes continue to sting at how bittersweet this moment was. He felt so happy seeing him and just wanted to hold him but he couldn’t, which caused his heart to ache.

Mickey picked up the phone from his side of the glass and took a seat at the same time Ian reached for his phone.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian greeted softly, Mickey’s shoulders instantly relaxed at the sound of his voice.

“You came,” he responded with disbelief.

“Of course,”

“Did Mandy have to pay you?” Mickey said as a joke, but Ian found it hard to find humor in it.

“No, no, I wanted to,” Ian tried to assure.

Mickey just nodded and looked down, “well, thanks.”

“How’re things going in here?”

“It’s bearable, I guess. My cellmate is a fucking dick though, have to restrain myself from doing anything stupid.”

“Please, don’t,” Ian chuckled nervously, “we’ll get you out of here.”

Mickey nodded again, trying to show a positive face for Ian even though he felt like he was doomed. He didn’t want to break Ian’s heart, or make him believe he had to move on from him. Maybe that was selfish of Mickey, but he couldn’t allow himself to let go of Ian again—not that he ever truly let go in the first place.

“Well how’s things at the house? Noisy and destructive as usual?”

“Pretty much,” Ian sighed, “there’s been a lot going on,”

Mickey’s brows furrowed, “what, about me?”

“Y-Yeah, I guess,” Ian croaked. He knew this was his que to bring up André but he was so scared, he didn’t want that smile on Mickey’s face to fade away so soon, he wanted it to stay with him even when Ian had to leave. He didn’t want to leave.

“Is there something else?” Mickey questioned, and as Ian hesitated, Mickey could feel his stomach drop.

“Have you been watching the news?” Ian wondered, confusing Mickey.

“No, why?”

“Because—” Ian took a deep breath, causing Mickey to hold onto his, “Because André’s dead, and he’s the reason you’re in here.”

Mickey felt his eyes glaze, his hand nearly letting go of the phone as he tried to wrap his head around what Ian had just said. André? Dead? It just wasn’t possible.

“W-What? How? Why?”

“I’m so sorry,” Ian whispered, trying to not make a scene but Mickey was filled with so much heartache and rage that he didn’t care. His grip on the phone got tighter as he gritted his teeth together.

“Tell me,” he spoke sternly as he fought back the tears. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but he knew he was mourning him. Perhaps it was just the memory, but André did mean something to him, and he betrayed him, again.

“I-I was so shocked when Daniel called that I barely remember but it had something to do with him getting caught betraying his family and that he wanted me to suffer by telling the feds where you are, he also told them a lot of other stuff but my brain is too foggy to remember.”

Mickey huffed, not even noticing the foggy comment as he felt like there was a bullet in his chest, “I can’t believe I trusted him again. I really thought he was fine with this.”

“Clearly not,” Ian sniffed, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Mickey sighed, wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand.

“But I am, not just for this but for not seeing you sooner,”

“Why?” Mickey responded bluntly, his brows furrowed.

“I was scared you’d be mad at me”

“what for?”

“for failing you”

“for failing me?” Mickey scoffed, his eyes continuing to glaze from all the emotions coursing through him, “Ian, is that what you think of me? You think I’d be mad at you for something that was my own fault?”

“Mick—”

“No, Ian. Stop making this about you for 3 goddamn minutes. I should be the one sulking right now. I let you down from the beginning, and I wanted to change. I want to change, I just wanna be the man you deserve,”

“Mickey, you are the man I deserve.”

“How? Look what I’ve done to you”

“This isn’t you! this is all me and my choices. None of this would’ve even happened if I didn’t sign up to the army with Lip’s name,”

“And that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t let my dad—”

“Mick,” Ian stopped him from going any further with that sentence, wanting to stop the argument. This is why Ian didn’t want to visit, because he knew that he would unintentionally hurt Mickey more. He hated this.

Mickey sighed, “Maybe we’re both to blame. We just keep going in circles like this, and I don’t want this to be it for us, you understand? If I manage to get out of here—and I will—I want us to break that chain but I need you to be with me on this”

“I am,” Ian choked, “I am.”

“Good,” Mickey exhaled with relief, but Ian just couldn’t control himself, putting the phone down for a minute as he wiped his eyes dry. He was trying to fight the over-emotional breakdown that was bound to come. He didn’t want Mickey to see him this way, and it killed him to see the look of worry in Mickey’s eyes.

Mickey watched Ian pick up the phone and instantly questioned him, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ian sniffed, “I’m on some new meds that cause me to cry like a pregnant woman.”

Ian tried to laugh it off, but Mickey just grew more concerned.

“Fuck, really? Because of me?”

Ian instantly shook his head, “no, it’s a lot of things, but it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not fuckin’ okay,” Mickey responded with frustration, “I’m so sick of this shit.”

“Me too, Mick, me too.”

They smiled sadly at one another, a longingness in their eyes as they desired to be closer, to hold one another and be comforted by their scent and warmth, but it’d be a while before that could happen.

“Mandy said hello, by the way,” Ian remembered to mention.

Mickey scoffed, “I mean, I’m not complaining but what’s she doing? Why isn't she here?”

“I don’t know, she said she had something to do and took off. She was quiet on the drive here too.”

Mickey hummed, “she’s probably just going through some shit with school or something, she’ll be fine.”

“I know,” Ian smiled softly, “you Milkoviches always are.”

Mickey smiled wider now, looking down bashfully.

“How about I come by tomorrow with Yevgeny?” Ian spoke before thinking, “I know the situation isn’t ideal but—”

“Nah, it’s okay, that can wait,” Mickey assured, “plus, he’s getting to that age where he remembers stuff, I don’t want his first memory of me to be _this_.”

Ian nodded, understanding, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Mickey told him with a positive grin. God, Ian just wanted to peck kisses all over that gorgeous face.

They were suddenly interrupted by a buzz over a speaker that warned, ‘ _5 more minutes_ ’ and suddenly, the couple were back to the sad state they were in only moments ago. Ian thought they had an hour, but apparently not.

“You’ll come back tomorrow?” Mickey wondered, a pleading look in his eyes now.

“I hope so, I’ll try my hardest,” Ian promised, that agonizing look in his eyes too.

“Fuck, I miss you already,” Mickey sighed, not wanting take his eyes off of the fire-haired man behind the glass.

“I miss you too,” Ian spoke with sincerity before placing his hand on the glass that sat between them, “and try not to watch the news, okay? I don’t mean to sound like Alfonso but you can’t have the outsider’s opinion clouding your mind when shit goes down.”

“I won’t,” Mickey promised, his hand about to rest on the glass, but he paused when he heard Ian speak.

“I love you,” Ian’s voice was so gentle it almost came out a whisper, “I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”

Mickey felt his throat tighten, his eyes stung as his hand met the glass that blocked him from feeling the touch of Ian’s warmth, “I love you too,” he choked, making Ian’s eyes glaze over again.

“I don’t want to go,” Ian admitted with desperation, but it didn’t matter, the security door opened and the guard called for the prisoners to form a line to go back in.

Mickey’s hand pressed firmly on the glass, not wanting to leave either.

“Milkovich!”

“Fuck,” Mickey muttered over his shoulder before looking to Ian's eyes, “I love you.”

“I love _you_ ,” Ian responded, his tears beginning to run as Mickey hung up the phone, giving him a soft smile to indicate he would be okay as he made his way to the door. Ian sat there, trying to calm himself but it was so use.

He was honestly surprised he had tears left. This really wasn’t fair, he just wanted to skip time and get to the good bits. He hated seeing Mickey in that jumpsuit with tired eyes, he deserved to be at home in bed with Ian. His heart just ached for Mickey, he wanted him to come _home_.

 

Mickey wanted to go home too, but instead he was greeted to the dull grey room he was forced to call home until he found out what was next for him. He stayed calm and collected as the guard made sure he was back in his room, but as soon as that door closed behind him he could feel a weight on his chest and took a seat on his bed, rubbing his eyes with his palms as he told himself to stay cool.

How could he, though? How could he sit here and pretend his life hasn’t fallen apart, as if Ian isn’t going through the worst because of him, as if André isn’t dead because of—

Mickey took a deep breath in hope of composure and held tight to the edge of the cheap mattress. God, he would kill for a cigarette right now, he can’t even remember the last time he had that nicotine bliss.

Perhaps that wouldn’t help either, because with or without the cigarettes, he would still be trapped here, and what’s happened on the outside would’ve happened regardless. Mickey stood from the bed and paced the room a bit, his brain getting louder with reminders of his fuck ups, the information he found out sinking in deeper. His eyes glazed again and he suddenly lashed out in frustration, kicking the metal bar of his bunk bed.

“Fuck,” he huffed, covering his mouth as turned to the window that revealed the world outside. He made his way over to it and leaned against the window sill, allowing himself to think of André.

André—the man who took Mickey under his wing, the man who allowed Mickey to prosper and make something of himself. He showed Mickey what true freedom felt like, and perhaps he didn’t love André, but he spent over a year with him living the life Mickey only pictured in his dreams.

However, despite the sweet memories of their first date, their first fuck, and the first ‘ _te amo_ ,’ Mickey began to remind himself of how those wings of an angel became those of the devil once Ian came into the picture.

The lies, the manipulation, the abuse, and the betrayals. It ruined all those nice memories for him, yet somehow, despite all he’s done to ruin Mickey, his heart still ached for André, because he felt guilty. He blamed himself for his death.

It shouldn’t have ended the way it did, and Mickey didn’t want to cry for him but he couldn’t help but let a few tears fall, knowing somewhere beyond the Chicago skyline, in Acapulco, Mexico, there was a family Mickey once called his own mourning their son.

It just wasn’t fair, Mickey just wished there was a way he could’ve prevented this from happening, but there was no use dwelling on what could’ve been, not when the war was nearly over.

Mickey heard the door open behind him and quickly wiped his tears, trying to break out of his somber state as he turned around, his cellmate walking in with a careless grin on his face.

“Heard you got a visitor!” he cheered for Mickey, “how’d that go?”

Mickey shrugged, “It was good, I guess.”

“Who was it?” John wondered, jumping onto his bed as he took a guess, “Ian?”

“Yeah,” Mickey sighed, moving to lay down on his bed.

“Why are you sad about it then?” he questioned, not even caring for the fact that personal things are well, _personal_.

“Why do you care?” Mickey snapped, looking over at him, “don’t you have your own shit to worry about?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, “I’m bored and curious.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, giving in, “if you really need to fucking know, my ex-boyfriend killed himself.”

“Oh shit,” Johnathan gasped, “That’s André, right? I saw it on the news!”

Now Mickey understood why Ian told him not to watch the news, seeing shit about André would be painful, especially if they were speculating and diving into the depths of the relationship Mickey had shared with him.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “André.”

“I’m sorry but why do you care? He killed people—”

“Yeah and he nearly fucking killed me too but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a bit upset, okay!?” Mickey groaned and sat up as his cellmate continued the conversation.

“I still don’t get why he did it.”

“Me either—and please, don’t tell me anything, I’m trying to avoid it until this bullshit is over.”

“I get it,” He spoke, hands up to say he’s backing off now, “but just know that despite our first impressions, I’m actually not a bad guy.”

“Sure,” Mickey laughed off in a flavorless way, reaching for the book he had borrowed from the library before laying back down in his bed. He opened to the folded page he had marked for later and began to read, trying not to focus on his cellmate who was starting his workout routine on the concrete floor.

Problem was, Mickey couldn’t focus on the words of the book, his mind wandering off into old memories. More specifically, one from when he was a teenager, the warmth of a summer night he couldn’t ever forget.

_Mickey watched Ian do his pull ups and considered it a challenge, showing off his own skills as he did enough pull ups to surpass Ian’s, while also loving the Ian’s attentive stare that was filled with so much desire for Mickey. As Mickey jumped down he smirked at his fuck buddy._

_“Not much to do in the joint but workout,” Mickey puffed, putting a cigarette between his lips._

_“You could read,” Ian suggested._

_“Fuck off,” Mickey scoffed, “fucked for life anyway, man.”_

_He lit up his cigarette and Ian asked him if he wanted to sneak into the sox game, which flattered Mickey, but he knew that wasn’t possible, explaining that he needed to find a job. Ian tried to help him, suggesting vocational training as he reached for Mickey’s cigarette, and as Mickey passed it over he responded._

_“Why the fuck are we talking about community college right now?” Mickey broke the deep conversation from how flustered he was, blurting out, “Jesus Christ, you wanna spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?”_

_Honestly, it wasn’t the worst idea, but Mickey wasn’t comfortable enough to do it. Not comfortable enough to admit that he’s gay, and slowly but surely falling in love with a naïve, optimistic redhead who had no problem sharing his emotions._

God, he missed those days (well, the good bits) and while it warmed his heart, it also saddened him to see where they were now. Depressed, locked away and unsure when they’d be able to be as free as they were all those years ago.

Fuck, it was so hard for him to see Ian today, he wished the illusions had never faded away and that they were still at Mandy’s apartment acting as if he wasn’t a wanted criminal. Mickey was so desperate for happiness, to stop feeling how he did. If he could do it without consequences, he would walk out of here and start a new life with Ian in a heartbeat, but it just wasn’t possible, not when they still had obstacles to defeat.

Mickey continued to pretend he was reading the words that blurred in front of him as he silently hoped that Ian would be okay in the end, because it fucking sucked not being able to see or touch him properly. He just wanted this to be over, and maybe Ian shouldn’t have come by today because now Mickey was missing him more than he ever before, but he was selfish and wanted Ian anyway.

He was never good at being patient, but he always tried his hardest for Ian. Always.

With a sigh, Mickey flipped the page and was sure he’d have another sleepless night tonight due to the thoughts that constantly ran through his mind, but it’d all be worth it in end if that meant at the end of the day they would be back in one another’s arms, right?

Right, because while Mickey’s mind kept him awake with these thoughts, Ian was falling asleep thinking about the same outcome, hoping his dreams would give him a world where that outcome had come to fruition.

This was probably one of the hardest things they’ve ever had to go through, but they’re stronger than ever before, and there was still a part of Ian that was still as _naïve_ and _optimistic_ as when Mickey had met him. They were going to get through this, Ian was sure of it, no matter how foggy his mind had become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Sorry it's been so long, I've had a lot of personal things going on over the past few months that caused me to lose focus on this story but I'm back now, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)
> 
> P.S. I've gotten a few comments about this so I thought I'd let you all know;
> 
> Please don't worry, I have no intentions in leaving this fic unfinished. It may take me some time but I promise you, it will get finished! I am so proud of this work and so happy that you enjoy it, it's your support that has caused it to grow as much as it has and has encouraged me to believe in my writing, so much so that I aspire to do greater things outside of Ao3 with it! I originally envisioned this story being 10-15 chapters but thanks to you guys it is now going to be over 40 chapters! I am so thankful, and no matter how long it takes me, I can't wait to give you all the endgame we deserve. Much love xx


	36. Chapter 36

Ian managed to wake up bright and early the next day despite how heavy his mind felt. He had slept over 12 hours, only waking up to take his medicine before heading back to sleep, and all that rest seemed to have cleared some of the fog. Perhaps seeing Mickey helped Ian too, even if his heart still ached from how he missed him, but at least he wasn’t feeling so guilty and doubtful anymore. Their conversation was necessary, and Ian was glad he worked up the courage to visit hm.

However, he still wasn’t completely happy, the nerves for what was to come rattled through him as a reminder to not be deluded by the positives of the situation. If anything, he felt more grounded, balanced, or perhaps it was the meds numbing him to the point where he wasn’t on the edge of another breakdown.

The Gallagher’s were happy to see Ian not as down as yesterday, sure, he was quiet but he still had enough energy to interact and help serve breakfast, as well as helping Debbie with Franny, which she was thankful for.

Ian was feeling like a house wife, keeping distracted by the duties Fiona usually took on as his siblings and incompetent father got on with their days. He did the dishes, folded the dried clothes and put them away before making the beds. Usually, these activities wouldn’t tire Ian out but today, they did, so he took his time, and took a break for himself with a cup of coffee and some old-fashioned morning television.

As he sipped his coffee and listened to an infomercial, he looked through the curtains to outside where usually there’d be almost every news station in Chicago waiting to get a piece of him, but he couldn’t see any. Had they given up? Even if they had, Ian knew they’d be back once Mickey’s trial came along. Speaking of, he didn’t know anything about the trials, but he guessed it was only discussed between Mickey and Alfonso now since it had nothing to do with Ian anymore, although a nosey part of him wish he did know how this was all going to go down.

Ian let out a deep breath and slouched on the couch as he tried not to think about it. Thankfully, another distraction came through as his pocket vibrated from a text message. He pulled out his phone and opened a text from Mandy that said, ‘ _I think he misses his dads’_ followed with a photo of Chico snuggled up with a teddy bear that wore a shirt Ian and Mickey had shared regularly. Ian pouted from how sweet the picture was, instantly saving it before responding.

‘ _Tell him we miss him too! Also, where did he get that teddy bear? lol’_

He really did miss his dog, he knew that if he had Chico here with him it would help him cope with the loneliness and depression much better, but unfortunately, his always happy puppy would have to wait until his father got out of prison.

 _‘It was from my closet and he found it haha’_ she sent, following by another text that read, _‘are you going to visit him today?_ ’

Ian looked at the time, hoping that he could make it.

_‘I’m hoping so, I’ll go after I have my coffee’_

_‘Good idea, after yesterday it sounds like you both need to keep in touch’_

_‘I know… are you feeling any better?’_

This time, it took Mandy a bit longer to respond _._

_‘Yeah. Just stress, don’t worry x’_

_‘You know I can’t help but worry x’_ Ian answered, but was not met with a response from Mandy, so he locked his phone and put it back in his pocket, trying to shake off his concerns as he downed the rest of his coffee and got off the couch to put it in the sink, getting ready for the day.

After getting dressed, making sure his teeth were brushed and hair was styled to his liking, he made his way into Carl and Liam’s room where he casually borrowed back his own cologne. Even if Mickey couldn’t smell him, he wanted to feel better about himself and thought something as simple as scent could help him.

Going into the kitchen he quickly tidied up, grabbing an empty packet of chips that was there from the night before and as he threw it out, that's when noticed the bin was full and took a second to remember the day, quickly realizing it was bin day tomorrow. So, he quickly grabbed the full garbage bag and tied it up, making his way out the back door to throw it in the garbage bin.

He got to the bin and threw it in, scrunching his nose up when he thought about how germy his hands possibly were before turning around, and there he froze, seeing a well-dressed woman walking down the side of the house with a friendly smile on her face. Ian swallowed the lump in his throat, realizing she must be a journalist.

Ian remained calm, remembering what Alfonso had told him about fueling the media and made his way towards her with fake-confidence.

“Hello, Mr. Gallagher, sorry to intrude,” she greeted politely, holding her hand out.

“Hey,” Ian laughed nervously, thankful the chain-link fence between them kept her from coming any further, “I would shake your hand, but I just threw out the trash.”

“That’s okay! My name is Lillian Broad, I’m a freelance journalist from this side of town, a-and I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions?” she paused before clarifying, “only if you’re feeling up to it, of course.”

Ian was uneasy and unsure, where would this information she wanted go? If this were any other day, he’d likely turn her away, but remembering what Alfie said made him stick around. Besides, she looked just as nervous as him. She seemed young too, and likely hadn’t been in the industry for very long, so maybe this was a good starting point? At least Ian wouldn’t be intimidated. Plus, Ian hated how much of a douchebag he seemed to be when he was on the news last time, this could help fix that.

“Sure, I can answer a few questions,” he replied kindly, her smile got wider from the relief of Ian’s answer, quickly going to pull out her phone and notepad.

“I’m going to record the conversation, is that okay? If you don’t want me to include anything, just let me know and I won’t.”

“That’s fine,” Ian shrugged, not really understanding how certain questions could get more people gossiping.

“Alright,” she cleared her throat as she pressed record on a program on her phone, holding it in Ian’s direction, “ready?”

Ian nodded, “yeah.”

She looked to her notepad and read out the first question, “You and Mr Milkovich go back a long way, yes?”

“Yes,” Ian confirmed, “we had known each other pretty much forever, but only got close in high school.”

“And that’s when you two fell in love?”

“Well,” Ian laughed awkwardly, “I-I certainly fell head over heels pretty quickly, I’m not sure about him but he did hide his emotions for a very long time.”

“Why is that?” she wondered, Ian gulped, licking his dry lips as he anxiously tried to find the answer. He didn’t really feel comfortable talking about it to a stranger.

“I don’t think that’s my story to tell, but he did have reasons.”

“That’s okay,” she assured, “But that must have put a strain on the relationship, right?”

“Only when we were younger,” Ian informed, “once we were in our late teens, we were fine. Happy.”

“What changed that?”

Fuck, Ian could feel himself sweating from the pressure, he was beginning to regret this.

“Life, I guess. I got diagnosed with bipolar and then Sammi got involved.”

She nodded, a look of sympathy in her eyes as she flipped the page, continuing her questions.

“So, what inspired you to do that trial for Mickey? Why now? Years after his sentencing and break out?”

“I wanted to do it simply because I knew it wasn’t fair,” Ian took a breath, “and I missed him. As for why it took so long, I-I think I needed that time to figure myself out, and I honestly kind of didn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe Mickey was away for 15 years. I guess I just didn’t know how to do it, until I found a decent lawyer who was just as passionate about the case as I was, and was willing to do it pro-bono.”

“That’s great! And I understand you were both happy and saddened by the results, but how did you react when he was caught only a day after the trail?”

Ian paused, trying to gather his thoughts as he could feel his throat tighten from the memories of that day which felt like years ago even though in reality, it had only been a few days. He hated how slow time felt without Mickey.

“Mr Gallagher?”

“It was hard,” Ian responded blankly, trying to throw together an answer, “I was more shocked than anything, I spent the day crying because the last thing I wanted was for him to go back to prison, but he told me that he wanted to turn himself in.”

She was taken aback by that answer, “He told you that?”

 _Shit_.

“Y-Yeah,” Ian tried to remain calm whilst he was internally having a panic attack.

“When?” she had to wonder, her eyes wild with curiosity.

“Yesterday.”

“Oh, so it’s true? You did see him yesterday?”

Ian let out a sigh of relief, “yeah, I did.”

Better for them to know they saw each other yesterday than to believe Ian and Mickey had been seeing each other again before the trials had even started.

“How did he feel about what you had done for him?” she questioned, Ian tried to throw some more answers together.

“Grateful,” he smiled softly, “He wanted the situation to be fixed a long time ago, he was glad that I helped him. He saw me on the news, that’s when he thought to turn himself in but unfortunately the cops got to him before he had the chance.”

“Interesting,” she hummed, “What else did you speak about?”

“Not much,” Ian shrugged off, “It was just very emotional, and he didn’t know a lot so I had to tell him about his ex.”

She nearly gasped, instantly saddened for Mickey. Ian just couldn’t believe how much this was dragging on, he was meant to be on his way to see Mickey but now he was stuck here trying not to reveal too much.

“How did he react to André’s death?”

“He was definitely upset. Angry more than anything for betraying him and not letting Mickey go. I-It’s not really my place to discuss their relationship, I’ll leave that for Mickey to talk about in court, but I will say he was abusive.”

“Abusive?” Lillian was shocked, “Mentally or physically?”

“Both, from what I know,” he cleared his throat, uneasy from the memories that came with that question.

“I feel so sorry for him,” she disclosed, showing her humanity, “I’m sorry, I’ll move on to lighter topics now.”

“Thanks,” Ian huffed, glad it ended there.

“I notice you’re dressed nicely, where are you off to today?” She asked, somehow so much brighter than she was when she found out the darkness of Mickey an André’s relationship.

“Well, I’m hoping to go see Mickey,” he told her with a smile, hoping she’d get the hint to _fuck off_.

“Oh! I won’t hold you back much longer. Just one last question, okay?”

“Sure,” Ian replied, “go ahead.”

“What’s the plan for you and Mickey if this goes well? Will you be getting back together?”

“I hope so,” Ian chuckled, a genuine smile showing now, “That’s the plan anyway, maybe we’ll take it slow but we’re not very good at staying _Just Friends_.”

“Aw, well, I wish all the best to you and him! Thank you so much for answering my questions.”

“No worries, I better go wash my hands now,” he responded, so happy that this was over.

“Yes, of course!”

They said their goodbyes and Ian nearly ran back inside to escape from it all. As it settled in he felt a bit embarrassed from the word-vomit that came from him but he hoped he had done exactly what Alfonso asking him to do.

He locked the back door behind him and went to the sink to wash his hands, then his heart suddenly jumped at the knocking at the front door. Ian’s brows furrowed with confusion and he turned off the water, grabbing the dish towel to dry his hands as he made his way to the door, almost running over once the knocking came again.

Without taking time to think, he pulled the door open and nearly screamed when he found a familiar face at the door.

“Daniel!?” he spoke with disbelief, tears of relief forming in his eyes. Was he hallucinating? This couldn’t be happening. It was so good to see he was alive and-somewhat-well.

“I probably should’ve called first,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Ian laughed, going for a hug but noticed Lillian Broad making her way to her car. Not wanting to stir any more gossip, he pulled Daniel inside quickly and slammed the door before wrapping his arms around his good friend. Daniel squeezed him back tightly, the two of them swaying together as Ian felt comforted by the familiar warmth.

“God, I missed you,” Daniel sighed the two pulling away reluctantly.

“I missed you, too,” Ian gave him a gentle smile, guiding him through the house, “come, did you want some coffee?”

“Yeah, why not, caffeinated piss sounds nice,” he joked as he followed Ian, looking around the house and smiling at the little Knick Knacks and photos that gave character to the home, even enjoying the distinct smell the home had, like it was well loved and lived in.

“I know what you mean, I dream about that Mexican coffee all the time,” Ian conversed, preparing the drinks.

Daniel just laughed and wandered over to a shelf with pictures, smirking at how cute Ian was as a kid.

“You had so many freckles when you were younger, holy shit.”

“I know, thank god I don’t have them anymore,” he responded, pouring the coffee’s and bringing one over to Daniel.

Daniel thanked him and took a sip before Ian guided him to the couch, the pair of them sitting down and enjoying the small talk they shared. It was crazy how it felt like no time had passed at all from the last time they saw one another.Daniel put down his mug with a sigh and made himself at home, slouching back onto the couch. Ian just watched, the shock settling down as he breathed in the fact Daniel was actually here, but why?

“So, are you just making your way through town or are you hear to stay?” Ian wondered, sipping his hot drink.

“Here for a couple days, still need to book the hotel actually—It was a last-minute flight,” he informed, looking up at Ian who stared back pensive and worried.

“For Antonio?” He continued to wonder, not taking his eyes off the dark green that stared back at him.

“Yeah,” Daniel confirmed, looking down.

“He’s still controlling you even though his business is in the crapper?”

“Ian—” Daniel tried to reason.

“No, this fucking sucks. Don’t worry, okay? You can crash on the couch.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Ian told him bluntly.

Daniel furrowed his brows, sensing something was messing with Ian right now. Maybe stress? He wasn’t sure.

“Are you okay?” He questioned, worry in his tone.

“Yeah,” Ian sighed, putting down his mug as he slouched down to Daniel’s level, “I’m just on some new meds that are causing to feel strange, so that, plus everything that’s going on, it’s a lot.”

His friend nodded, understanding how tough that must be as their eyes met with a similar look of empathy. Daniel rested his hand on Ian’s arm, pulling Ian’s eyes away from his stare as he noticed the gentle hand consoling him. However, it caused his heart to race as his fight or flight response kicked in, terrified Daniel may have come here for something other than _friendship_ , but he was sure he had to be making this shit up. It was never that serious between them, was it?

“You know you can call me whenever, right?”

Ian shook his head, “I-I didn’t want to bother you, we’ve both had shit going on.”

“I know but we’re still friends,” Daniel reminded him, moving his hand away now, “besides, don’t worry about me. This is the last job I’ll ever have to take for Antonio and then I’m heading back to California.”

“You are?” Ian lit up slightly, feeling happy for Daniel as his heart began to settle down.

“Yeah, I’m feeling good,” Daniel assured with a smile. Ian smiled back at him, resting his hand on Daniel's shoulder.

“How about we head out to a bar and talk about it?” Ian proposed, “I’m starting to go crazy in this house.”

“Alright,” Daniel shrugged, “Just let me bring in my shit from my rental and you can drive us.”

“Sounds good!” Ian replied with a fond smile. Daniel smiled back before getting up and making his way out to his rental car, leaving Ian sitting there feeling slightly guilty for making this decision—to hang out with Daniel instead of visiting Mickey.

Shit, if Mickey even knew Daniel was in town he’d probably lose it since he’s always been jealous of Daniel. Not that Ian blames him, he’s a good-looking guy and Ian did nearly sleep with him, but that didn’t mean anything since he did it out of spite. Daniel was one of Ian’s best friends, and they both went through something horrific only just over a few days ago. They needed this break.

 

Daniel and Ian walked into The Alibi Room at noon, and unsurprisingly, there were already local drinkers getting started on their daily drinking routine. Veronica came out from the storage room holding a keg of beer with a bright smile on her face.

“Ian! What are you doing?” She greeted, putting the keg in as Ian made his way to the bar, Daniel following close behind.

“Just showing my friend my favorite places in Chicago,” Ian joked, a smile on his face.

Ian wasn’t sure how he managed to put on this happy façade when he still felt like utter shit on the inside. Perhaps it was the sleep he got, or the fact Daniel was here to distract him, but he knew his guilt would catch up to him eventually.

“Oh honey, you don’t have to lie to him,” She laughed, “I’m Veronica, by the way,” she then greeted, holding her hand out to him, he shook it confidently.

“Daniel.”

“Nice to meet you, you from around here?”

“No, I go back and forth from Mexico to California,” he explained.

“Oh! So, you met Ian whilst he was on his trip?”

“Yeah,” Ian suddenly interrupted, “we met in Vegas.”

She nodded approvingly, “well, what drinks would you boys like?”

“Whatever your cheapest beer is, I don’t care,” Daniel spoke with a laugh.

“Easy,” she nodded, grabbing a glass and began to pour the drink, “and you, Ian?”

“Just a coke,” he replied with subtle sadness. He really would love a beer, but he tried to do right by his doctor and not mix alcohol with his meds just yet.

After getting their drinks, they sat at a booth, just drinking and conversing about current affairs that didn’t surround them and other things no one else would care about. Ian was enjoying his time with Daniel, happily spilling stories about The Alibi Room.

“You know, this is where Mickey came out,” he informed, intriguing Daniel.

“Really?”

“Yeah, uh,” Ian smiled softly at the memory, leaning over the table as if it were some special secret, “it was his son’s christening and we came back here. His homophobic father showed up and I had become sick of not being able to be _free_ with Mickey. Looking back at it, I probably wouldn’t have been as snappy and impulsive—anyway, I told Mickey that if he was going to continue living this _lie_ I couldn’t be a part of it,” Ian paused, now recognizing so many flaws he hadn’t considered before, but continued, “So, I went to walk out, and that’s when Mickey announced to his family and friends that he was gay.”

“Oh shit,” Daniel gasped, “how’d that go?”

“Not very good,” Ian admitted, “everyone else was whatever about it but his dad is a fucking dick. He and Mickey got into a fist-fight and I happily got involved—I had been wanting to punch that bastard for years,” Ian chuckled, “In the end he got carted away and Mickey and I were finally free, and it felt amazing.”

Daniel gave a soft smile of admiration for the love Ian and Mickey shared before reaching for his beer.

“You two really have been through it all,” he spoke with a teasing smirk as he gulped down his beer.

“Yeah,” Ian huffed, looking down at his fingertips. He missed those days, where they truly believed nothing in the world could stop them. God, look at what this fucked up world had made of them. It just wasn’t fair.

“Oh, you won’t believe this!” Daniel exclaimed, pulling out his phone, “I managed to get in contact with my ex.”

“No way!” Ian beamed, happy for him.

“Yeah, one of her friends gave me her number and I got in touch. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, considering how I left her, but look,” Daniel passed his phone to Ian to show a picture of his daughter, “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Ian grabbed the phone and smiled at the adorable young girl who looked so much like her father, she had those big green eyes, curly dark hair and his cheeky grin.

“She’s precious,” Ian told him as he passed the phone back.

“I know, I’m just hoping I get to see her soon, I’ve missed her so much,” Daniel gushed, pouting at his phone screen before continuing to speak about his ex-girlfriend.

This is when Ian began to feel like an idiot. Why did he even imagine for a moment that Daniel wanted to make a move on Ian? It had been months since they had any kind of romantic bond. Perhaps it was something Ian had ingrained in himself over the years, that every man in his life wanted something from him. Not Daniel, he adored Ian’s relationship, respected him and more importantly, seemed to be so hung up on his ex that he had no time to think about pursuing anything with Ian.

Ian wasn’t disappointed, more relieved because that meant no trouble between him and Mickey, and it wouldn't ruin the great friendship he had formed with the California man that sat in front of him.

“André’s funeral is next week,” Daniel told him, which took Ian away from his own thoughts.

“Really?” Ian responded blankly, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, I’m not sure if I should go. From what I know, only a few people are going, not that I blame them,” Daniel sighed sadly, “it’s weird. I kind of don’t believe it, you know?”

Ian nodded, reaching for Daniel’s arm to provide comfort, “I know, I don’t believe it either.”

“But I guess when you see what position Mickey’s in, you start to believe it,” he huffed, “I wish I could’ve done more.”

Ian shook his head, rubbing at his arm before pulling away, “there’s nothing you could have done, he was too far gone.”

“I just don’t get it,” Daniel scoffed as if he were insulted, “he just wanted to destroy everyone around him, even his parents, I-I just—”

“Hey, it’s okay—”

“It’s not! I’m angry, like, I’m fucking furious at him. He was my cousin but we were closer than we were with our actual siblings. Why would he do this? I don’t understand,” he croaked, resting his head on his palm as he stared into the distance, getting more upset.

Ian just felt useless. All these people surrounding him were in pain and there was nothing he could do. He glided out of his side of the booth and moved to sit next to his friend.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, rubbing his back. Daniel broke, wrapping his arms around Ian as he silently cried out his heartache. Ian held him tightly, soothing him as he began to feel guilt seep further in his bones. He shouldn’t be doing this when Mickey was so alone, he wished he were holding Mickey instead, as awful as that may sound. He cared for Daniel of course, but Mickey was in prison alone with no one to comfort him, and that thought made his useless feeling even more prominent.

Daniel tried to calm down, remembering he was in a public space filled with old men who would remind him that big boys shouldn’t cry. So he sat up, wiping them away as he awkwardly cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he strained, “I just haven’t really spoken about it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ian assured him with a smile as he reached for his coke, “It’s only been a few days, I’m not even over it yet."

Daniel nodded, refreshing himself by gulping down his beer as the world somehow had heard Ian’s thoughts, a text coming through on his phone. Ian reached for it and saw a text from Alfonso, opening it to read what it said.

_‘Have a meeting with Mickey in an hour. If you want to see him before the trial, I can bring you with me.’_

Ian almost couldn’t believe this was real, that he had the opportunity to see and hold Mickey again. Before even thinking, he replied.

_‘of course! See you in an hour’_

“Daniel, I’m going to be seeing Mickey in an hour,” he let his friend know, a smile on his face.

“Really?” He beamed for Ian, “That’s great!”

Ian huffed from the excitement of seeing him soon, but then his smile faded away, starting to feel bad for Daniel.

“Sorry to cut this so short.”

“It’s no problem, man. Don’t worry about it,” He smiled, “besides, I have a few things to take care of myself. So, how about after we finish our drinks, I drop you at home and I head off.”

Ian furrowed his brows with confusion, “so you’re not staying?”

“No, I am! I’ll just be a bit later.”

“Oh, okay,” Ian relaxed, reaching for his coke, Daniel lifted his beer and they clinked their glasses, both men continuing to fake their happiness as they went back into light hearted conversations even though they both knew they were lying to themselves and one another.

Despite the excitement, Ian felt nervous again to see Mickey, because now he knew about André, and there was that looming guilt that made Ian anxious. Would Mickey be mad at him for not visiting earlier? Should he explain why, and tell Mickey about Daniel?

He quickly decided not to, not wanting Mickey to have any negative thoughts. Of course, he was going to tell Mickey about Daniel eventually, but as of right now he found it unnecessary.

Speaking of Daniel, Ian was kind of upset that he had such limited time with him. Why was it that the only time he and Daniel saw each other were in times of tragedy? Who knew when they would meet again. It just sucked that they couldn’t spend a lot of time together before he went away again, but he hoped he’d be seeing him sooner rather than later, and for a better reason than incarceration and death.

 

Once their drinks were finished, Daniel thanked V with a generous tip and they made their way back outside, making small-talk about how the weather was heating up in Chicago but still didn’t compare to the heat of Acapulco as they got into the rental car and headed back to Ian’s house.

By the time Ian got home, there was only 10 minutes until Alfie would pick him up. He said a quick goodbye to Daniel, knowing he’d see him soon before getting inside. With such a small amount of time all he did was go to the bathroom, refresh himself and made sure he still looked as nice as he did earlier that morning.

That’s when the sound of a car horn came from outside, making Ian nearly trip over his own feet as he ran out the door, the bubbles of excitement coursing through his veins now.

He greeted the lawyer and buckled himself in, trying to use this car ride to really prepare himself to see and feel Mickey again.

“Have you done what I told you?” Alfonso questioned, eyes on the road.

“Yes,” Ian confirmed with a nod, “saw Mick yesterday and spoke to a journalist today.”

“Good,” he approved, “tomorrow will be his prelim hearing and I think having you there now to discuss will help the both of you, but especially him,” he huffed.

“What do you mean?” Ian wondered, confused.

“He’s very closed off, which is understandable given the circumstances, but I think you help him feel more secure and that he can open up. It could also have to do with the fact that you are the one in charge of this plan,” Alfie began to laugh at an oncoming joke, “you’re more his lawyer than I am!”

Ian had to admit, he found that funny, joining in on the laughter before sighing.

“In all seriousness, I’m scared he’ll be mad at me,” he confided, but the lawyer rolled his eyes.

“You need to stop overthinking.”

“No,” Ian let out a frustrated groan, “I fucked up and said I’d visit him today, but then never showed up at visiting times,” he stopped there, not wanting to discuss _why_.

“Well surprise for him, he will be seeing you anyway,” he mentioned, Ian hummed at that realization.

“You’re right, I need to stop overthinking,” he mumbled.

“Of course, I’m right!” Alfonso smirked, turning up the radio as his favorite song came on.

Ian just stayed quiet as Alfie sung, just imagining how nice it’ll feel to finally wrap his arms around him again. He had missed Mickey so much over the past four days, perhaps more than he had the entire time Mickey was in Mexico.

Of course, that was an exaggeration, nothing could be as painful as that was, but it was probably the fact Mickey was back in the one place he never wanted to see again that hurt the most. Ian wanted to achieve this with no prison time. He knew that was unrealistic but he really did want to do his best, and no matter what Mickey tells him, Ian will always wish that he had executed this plan better.

But unfortunately, there will always be that one mother-fucker who sits in your blind spot, ready to crash into you and tear you to shreds. Ian didn’t want to congratulate André for his successful plan considering what had happened to him, but Ian was angry about it, he would never not be. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. This wasn’t justice.

When Alfonso pulled up into the street where the prison was, Ian reminded himself to take deep breaths and try not to overthink it, to stay positive and focused on the fact Mickey’s warmth was so much closer now. He was thankful his medication wasn’t giving him the same side effects as yesterday, then again, who knew what he’d be like once he stepped in that room and saw Mickey.

He knew that the next couple weeks would be hard regardless thanks to the new meds, but he tried not to think about that too much or allow it to be a setback, he had more important things to take care of.

Once Alfie found a parking spot, they quickly made their way inside and went through the same procedures Ian had done yesterday before they were escorted somewhere Ian hadn’t seen before.

They stepped into the private room and Ian could already feel a sense of claustrophobia from the brick walls that enclosed them, the only light source being from a ceiling lamp that cascaded it’s light onto a metal table with some metal chairs. It was so gloomy that it made Ian ache for Mickey, because this is what he was living with. God, he couldn’t blame him for breaking out the first time around.

Alfonso got straight to it and prepared his papers on the table as Ian paced the small space, not wanting to sit down from the anticipation that was sparking through him like lightning bolts. He was so eager to see Mickey, it felt like he was in a dream, and maybe that was due to his medication, but either way he was looking forward to it.

“Can you just stay still?” Alfie asked, shaking his head as he went through his notes.

Ian exhaled, leaning his hands on his own chair as he peered over the lawyers’ shoulder to see what he was writing.

“How long is he going to be?” he wondered at the exact moment he heard the heavy door open. He looked up, trying to hide his smile as Mickey stayed distracted by the guard removing his cuffs.

Then, he stepped inside and the door closed behind him, he looked up to see the one person who truly mattered and was giving him the strength to get through this. _Ian_.

“No way,” he huffed in disbelief.

“Yes, way,” Ian chuckled, making his way over to Mickey and just rested his hand on his cheek for a second, so happy to feel his skin under his again before Mickey wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

Ian instantly wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist, holding him close as Mickey’s fingers glided into his hair, squeezing the nape of his neck gently. Ian sniffed, the overwhelming moment bringing him to tears as he pressed his head into Mickey’s shoulder.

It just felt so good to be held again, to be embraced by that familiar scent and warmth. Alfonso cleared his throat, indicating that they needed to move on. They squeezed tighter before letting go, Mickey cupping Ian’s face as he wiped those tears away with his thumbs. Ian smiled softly, gazing into Mickey’s now bloodshot eyes, he was clearly crying too.

"Hey," Mickey whispered,

"Hey," Ian replied with a chuckle, so happy to have him in his arms again.

“Ready to get on with it, fellas?” Alfonso asked, breaking them away from their daze.

“Yeah,” Mickey pulled away completely, clearing his throat before sitting down opposite to the lawyer as Ian made his way to sit next to Alfonso.

“You surprised?” Alfonso wondered to Mickey with a smirk.

“Yeah, fuck—” he huffed, looking at Ian with _that_ look in his eye, “but I’d understand why you wouldn’t come, don’t you need to rest up and shit?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all day?” Ian grinned as if he didn’t just lie, Mickey smiled and shook his head, knowing well that Ian’s stubbornness would never allow him to relax when he could be doing far better things with his time, including seeing Mickey.

“Alright, let’s get on with it,” the lawyer announced and started discussing the case.

He gave a brief overview before diving into the depths of it, he informed the couple that there is a high probability the bail amount would be dropped, but Mickey didn’t look too hopeful despite how confident Ian and Alfie were.

Ian tried to pay attention as much as possible, but he was distracted by Mickey, noticing how unhappy he truly was, with dark circles under his eyes that indicated he had another sleepless night. This caused Ian’s guilt from earlier to resurface, because how _dare_ he get a good night’s rest and have a good time with Daniel when Mickey was rotting away in here.

Ian just felt so bad, but he knew not to say anything yet, to let Mickey believe Ian had really spent the entire day resting, just like his doctor had ordered.

God, he was almost praying that the bail amount would be lowered to something that was affordable. Ian couldn’t stand seeing Mickey so broken, but it was putting things in perspective. Did Mickey feel the same when Ian had a low? Did he feel guilt and responsibility, even though he wasn’t to blame?

Mickey made eye contact with Ian and noticed the distant look on his face that was filled with worry. As he continued to listen to his lawyer, Mickey held his arm out across the table, grabbing Ian’s attention.

With a soft smile of assurance, Ian held onto Mickey’s hand, stroking each tattooed knuckle delicately with his fingers as his mind began to wonder, _Jesus, how could a man as brilliant as you want to waste your life away with someone as fucked up as me?_

It was a thought he tried to restrain from saying out loud, because he knew Mickey would tell him to shut up, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from coming. It really did astound Ian how after all this time and everything he had put Mickey through, Mickey was still here, willing to do anything to be with him again, but now, Ian was the same.

Ian held his hand tighter, just cherishing this moment they had. Even if those days apart felt like months, something as simple as holding his hand made it all worthwhile. He really does love Mickey with his entire being, and he loved that he felt secure in knowing Mickey felt the same.

“Any questions?” Alfonso piped, breaking Ian out of his deep thoughts and looked at him, not knowing what to say, but thankfully Mickey had a question or two.

“Being honest, how confident are you in winning this case?”

“Very,” he responded right away, “I know the attorney representing the state, he sucks at what he does and often makes shit up just to extend a sentence. Since I know him, I’ll be able to win this easier than expected.”

“So, does that mean Mickey can really be home tomorrow?” Ian wondered now with hopeful eyes.

“If they lower the price then yeah, and I hope they do since I’m sure majority of the bail amount is due to the drug crime he didn’t commit.”

Ian just nodded, taking it all in. Mickey still didn’t want to get his hopes up even though the idea of getting out of here was nice. More than anything he just didn’t want to let Ian down, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Ian not to be hopeful, especially when the last thing he needed was pessimism.

So, he kept quiet, allowing Ian and Alfonso to have their conversation as he sat there, so focused on the beauty that sat in front of him, squeezing and running circles with his thumb on the back of his hand as he took in what could be the last moment he got to hold Ian at all.

He tried not to cry as his eyes traced Ian's facial features, admiring his ginger lashes and the shape of his nose and lips. Because Mickey knew that if he didn’t get out of here, Ian wouldn’t stick around and he'd never see him again. He wouldn’t expect Ian to come around anyway, not like last time. As much as that carved a hole in his chest, it was a fact he had to live with. Ian couldn’t handle this, not really, and for them to be apart for god knows how long would ruin Ian further. Mickey didn’t want that for Ian, no matter how much he loved him or how much Ian tried to stick around, because what really mattered to Mickey was Ian's happiness.

He didn’t doubt Ian at all now, and knew that this time he was here for the _real deal_ but Mickey wouldn’t let Ian ruin himself because of him. Maybe he would’ve years ago when he was desperate and naïve but now, after everything he has gone through, he knew what the truth had to be.

“Are you okay?” Ian spoke softly to Mickey, pulling Mickey’s eyes onto his.

Mickey just nodded, biting his lip, “yeah.”

“Well we’re done here," Alfonso informed, "so you two want to say goodbye whilst I pack up,” he suggested, beginning to put his things back into his case.

Ian and Mickey both stood at the same time and Ian made his way over, the two of them embracing in a loving hug. Mickey pressed his lips softly against Ian’s neck before pulling away to place his hand upon his jaw, just admiring those eyes as Ian’s arms stayed wrapped around his waist.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ian told him with determination, his hands moving to cup Mickey’s face as he leaned in for a kiss.

Mickey instantly leaned up to meet with him, his stomach swarming with butterflies as they gave each other a soft, tender kiss that would still tingle on one another’s lips for hours after Ian left. They motioned so gently, not wanting to pull away as they melted into on another, but after a couple more seconds they forced themselves to, because if they didn't, it would hurt even more to leave each other behind. Mickey just stared admirably at Ian, breathing this moment in.

“Tomorrow,” Mickey confirmed, unwillingly breaking himself away from the hold Ian had him in as he heard the large metal door open, nearly breaking both their hearts.

“C’mon Ian,” Alfie ordered, “we’ll see you tomorrow, Milkovich.”

Mickey looked over and nodded his head at the lawyer who was now making his way out, Ian reluctantly following as the guard made his way inside to lock the handcuffs around Mickey wrists. Ian looked behind him, instantly wishing he hadn’t when he saw how Mickey’s face deflated once the guard had reminded them both of their reality.

With an exhale, Ian turned away, wanting nothing more but for tomorrow to come.

There was no way Mickey wouldn’t be free, Ian was going to get him out of here, he was sure of it. Even if he didn’t know how. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I cut it a bit short, but trust me, it's with good reason ;)
> 
> until next time! xx


	37. Chapter 37

Daniel woke to the sound of the front door slamming.  S tartled and disoriented by his surroundings, he rubbed at his eyes a s he familiarized himself  with the environment around him, quickly realizing he was on the couch in the Gallagher’s living room. It wasn’t the best sleep of his life, but definitely not the worst.

As he sat up and began to process it,  two loud voices came into the room and abruptly stopped in their tracks. Daniel  turned his head  to see two strangers he was sure he was familiar with. The two strangers stared back, equally as confused.

“Who the fuck are you?” the brunet man with bright blue eyes greeted, making Daniel jump at the disrespect.

“I could say the same to you,” his voice came out huskily, and he smirked hastily, taking a quick glance at the blonde girl that stood beside him as he cleared his throat, “I’m Daniel, by the way.”

He held his hand out to greet them, but the man hesitated. 

“Daniel?” He murmured, then something sparked within the woman, grasping at his arm to catch his attention.

“From Mexico,” she whispered loud enough for Daniel to hear. 

“Oh fuck,” he huffed, “from Mexico?”

“Yeah,” Daniel confirmed with an awkward laugh.

“Sorry, nice to meet you,” he greeted nicer now, shaking his hand, “Lip.”

“Oh, so you’re Lip! That makes you?”

“Mandy,” the woman introduced shaking his hand as well. 

“Nice,” Daniel smiled, unable to help but think about how attractive the both of them were and how beautiful their future children would be. 

"So, where’s Ian?”  Lip responded, seeing no point in making further conversation.

“I don’t know, upstairs I guess?”

“Right,” Lip huffed, mumbling a quick thank you as he ascended the creaky stairs with Mandy only two steps behind him.  
  


Lip and Mandy didn’t even knock as they barged through Ian’s door, expecting to have to wake the redhead from his slumber, but that wasn’t the case. Ian was sat by the window on his double bed, wrapped in his thin sheets as he puffed on his cigarette. Their quick movement didn’t startle him at all, he was more than used to his family breaking in without permission. At this point, it was expected.

“Oh, you’re up,” Lip spoke, rather surprised.

“Barely slept,” Ian muttered in return, ashing his cigarette.

Mandy made herself at home and collapsed next to him on the bed, reaching for his smoke as Lip nosily opened Ian’s drawers.

“Do you know what you’re wearing?”

“Nope,” Ian huffed, placing the cigarette between Mandy’s fingertips.

“Figured,” Lip nearly snorted, pulling an outfit together for Ian to change into when he was ready.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Mandy asked curiously, “is it because Daniel’s here?”

Ian stared at Mandy for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip as he eagerly reached to have his cigarette back. He nearly forgot that he had Daniel sleeping downstairs on that worn out green sofa.

“No—I mean, kind of,” Ian remained truthful, “I slept so long yesterday so last night, I was just wide awake. Daniel showing up had nothing to do with it.”

“You sure that’s the best idea, though?” Lip warned cautiously, sitting himself comfortably at the end of the bed.

Ian furrowed his brows as he took a drag from his cigarette, “what do you mean?”

“Having someone you nearly fucked stay over?”

Ian rolled his eyes, “it’s not like that.”

Mandy huffed, disagreeing, “you sure Mickey would be okay with it? Does he even know?”

“No, and it shouldn’t fuckin’ matter,” Ian nearly snapped, “he’s not into me like that, not anymore. He’s trying to make up with his ex and daughter in California.”

“So nothing even _slightly_ romantic happened between you two last night?”

Ian had to laugh bitterly, “is that what you think of me, Mands?”

“No, I’m just keeping an eye out for my big brother that’s gone to hell and back for your stupid ass,” she responded with playfulness in her tone, but Ian knew there was seriousness beneath that.

“Don’t worry, alright? We just chilled on the couch, had dinner, he passed out around midnight, so I went to bed but didn’t fall asleep ‘til 2am.”

Mandy hummed, not completely convinced, but Lip changed the subject before it delved even deeper.

“We have to leave in 30, you going to at least take a shower?”

“Yeah, guess I should,” Ian sighed, fiddling with the cigarette in his fingers before passing it to Mandy, deciding he didn’t want to finish it off. He moved off the bed, exposing his half-naked body and felt the morning summer air from the window circle around him. He froze in his steps, turning back to the couple in his bed.

“Being honest, do you think he’ll get out today?” he wondered with a hint of nerves, picking at his cuticles.

“Hoping so,” Mandy smiled solemnly.

“We’ll think about that later, just get ready,” Lip pandered, throwing the clothes he chose at Ian.

Ian caught it effortlessly, giving them both a brief smile before grabbing clean underwear and making his way out of the room.  
  


15 minutes later Ian came back into the room to find Lip and Mandy still hanging out on his bed, but he chose to ignore them and continue getting ready. He made sure to comb back his wet hair and put on his antiperspirant. He wasn’t mad about the outfit Lip had chosen for him (which was just a pair of black jeans and a simple grey shirt) it was a far better option than what Ian would’ve picked himself, anyway. 

He wasn’t really sure how to feel today, in fact, he didn’t feel much at all. He was kind of just floating, his mind in some place between a dream and reality,  which is how he often found himself these days. 

Mickey felt so close now, and Ian’s optimism was something he found hard to fight. He didn’t want to hope too much and have Mickey fade away again, but he couldn’t help himself. Right now, he was trying to take Lip’s advice and take things one step at a time. Shower, dress, eat, leave, and think about the rest when they got to it. He had to  _not_ focus on what the outcome could be, but it was damn-near impossible. He tried though, for his own mentality.

“What’s for breakfast?” Ian wondered mindlessly as Lip just watched him with confusion.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know? I don’t live here.”

“Maybe Deb’s made something before she left,” Ian ignored him, just slipping his shoes on.

“I hope so,” Mandy remarked, “I’m starved.”

“Alright, come on,” Ian waved them to get off the bed as he made his way out of the room. All three of them stampeded down the stairs to the kitchen and Ian caught himself hesitating as he was met with the open archway from the kitchen to the living room, watching Daniel who looked so relaxed in his sweatpants, blankets, and mussed hair, just scrolling through something on his phone. 

Daniel  turned when he heard the other two  step into the room, being unapologetically loud as Lip started a pot of coffee and Mandy began to make some toast, complaining about how Debbie didn't leave any food for them after all. 

“Morning,” he greeted with a smile as Ian traipsed his way into the room Daniel was in. 

“Hey, how’d you sleep?”

“Can’t complain,” Daniel shrugged.

Ian just nodded, finding the setting so odd. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to Daniel being in his world—this real world away from beaches, mansions and cartels. 

“Did you wanna join us for breakfast?” Ian offered politely, signaling to the kitchen.

“Yeah, of course,” Daniel replied, pulling off the blankets and jumping up off the couch with ease, catching up to Ian as they both walked into the kitchen.   
  


Breakfast could’ve been worse, Ian decided. Lip and Mandy didn’t question Daniel too much, and they actually shared a few laughs, despite Daniel being practically a stranger to the couple who sat opposite him. Ian kind of relished in it, taking this in as a happy memory even though it was a shitty situation. 

He appreciated his friend being here, even if they weren’t going to be living near each other fairly soon, he loved the idea of it, though. Imagining a domestic life with Mickey where his best friend came over with his girlfriend once a week for dinner, where they’d play scrabble and  eat cheese platters  whilst  drinking fancy wine . Ian wasn’t sure why he had these simplistic daydreams  that were so out of character  for him,  but he knew h e wanted this friend to stick around, unlike many others who just faded away over time. 

This  also  made him realize how bad he wanted Mickey to be on good terms with Daniel,  for him to realize that Daniel was a good person and a good friend.  That’s when h is brain had a  _fuck it_ moment, speaking before he  had  thought it through.

“Do you wanna join us today?” he offered, sipping his coffee.

Mandy and Lip gave Ian a look of caution, but Ian just ignored it.

“You want me to be there?” Daniel responded with disbelief.

“I mean, it’s up to you. Better than hanging around here all alone until you need to leave.”

Daniel nodded, hesitating as he sat on that thought. Ian’s shoulders slumped a bit as if he were beginning to regret asking. After all, the reason Mickey was in prison was because of his cousin’s choices, but then a fond smile spread across his face, and Ian didn’t worry anymore.

“I don’t mind going, and you need all the support you can get,” Daniel noted before biting into his toast and speaking with his mouth full, “as long as Mickey won’t mind.”

“He won’t,” Ian spoke quickly to cut off Lip who was going to answer that for him. He gave his brother the side-eye before picking up his toast, “he shouldn’t.”

“I better go get ready then,” Daniel excused himself, taking one last gulp off coffee before leaving the table.

As he made his way upstairs, Mandy nudged Ian’s foot to get his attention.

“Are you sure that was the best idea?”

“I don’t know,” Ian swallowed, “But he’s my friend who’s going through this shit too, Mickey should understand that.”

She just nodded, deciding it wasn’t her place to patronize him and went back to eating her meal. They all sat quietly now that Daniel was gone, making Ian’s thoughts dig a little deeper.

He honestly wasn’t that concerned about Daniel, and was more concentrated on what it’ll be like to have Mickey at home in his arms again. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it, but without these optimistic daydreams, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together for much longer. He needed them, and he needed them to come true.

 

When they got to the courthouse Ian’s nerves began to rattle his body, his palms sweating only slightly as he made his way and sat in one of the pews. He was thankful to have Mandy and Daniel on either side of him, supporting him through this process, even if it twinged at his heart to know he couldn’t be standing by Mickey’s side today. He was slowly beginning to regret eating his breakfast that made his stomach feel unnecessarily heavy. He just wanted this to be over—to have the final results.

They were asked to rise and suddenly Ian’s heart was in his throat. He held his breath as his eyes darted to the door where Mickey would come from, searching desperately to see his face.

Then there he was, in his bright-orange uniform and raven hair. His face appeared brighter too, as if he finally got a good nights rest. That thought brought comfort to Ian’s unknowing mind.

The first thing Mickey did was search for Ian’s face in the crowd, and Ian waved his hand shyly in hopes to get his attention. It worked, and his face beamed with a grin which caused Ian to soar, but it only lasted a second, because then Mickey’s eyes met with Daniel’s and that happy feeling began to sink.

Mickey turned away and Ian tried not to feel guilty, avoiding how Daniel was staring at him with a look that said, ‘ _maybe this was a mistake?’_ It definitely wasn’t, but Ian was still choking on his breath and couldn’t find the words to assure him that this was okay, that he appreciated his company and needed him here.

Jealousy was human nature, and Mickey hated how it flowed through his veins and alarmed his insecurities. He had to remind himself that this isn’t like last time, and that Ian had done more than enough to prove his loyalty to him. Besides, if Ian had done _anything_ non-platonic with Daniel, why would he be stupid enough to bring him to Mickey’s court case? That just didn’t make sense.

“Mickey, you paying attention?” Alfonso whispered, nudging him back to reality. Mickey nodded, straightening his posture, and instantly started following the procedures of the courtroom as he should.  
  


“Apart from the arresting officers statement, we also have the statement of Ms Stacey Yankovic who confessed to releasing Mr Milkovich,” the state attorney began, “Along with that, we also have a statement from federal police in Mexico who found evidence of his relationship with André Fuentes, thanks to pictures on his refrigerator, as well as a stash of illicit drugs, weapons, as well as 1,000,000MXN, which equates to 52,600USD, we will be asking for a minimum of 8 years in prison.”

It felt like the room was suddenly still, everyone was holding onto their breaths now as the file with the apparent evidence was passed to the judge. Mickey felt helpless anger course through him, leaning into Alfie because he couldn’t fight back the need to defend himself.

“I didn’t have anything to fucking do with that,” he muttered through gritted teeth. Alfonso held a hand out and assured him to keep calm.

“I know, we’ve got this.”

Mickey wasn’t so sure, and he couldn’t resist the need in him to turn around and glance at Ian’s face. His heart ached to see the worry in his expression, all he wanted to do was walk over there and smooth out the lines in his forehead and make this better somehow, even if none of this was within his control. He was thankful, however, for his sisters presence, who was rubbing Ian's back in hopes to keep him grounded. Mickey still wished it was him, though. All he wanted was to hold him and take all this pain away.

“Your honor,” Alfonso begun, loud and clear to bring Mickey’s head back to the current moment, “I hope that the court will take into consideration that Mikhailo was wrongly convicted in the first place, and that he was completely unaware of Fuentes’ dealings with the cartel, which makes this ‘evidence’ inconsequential—”

The judge raised her hand to pause him from saying any more, “Mr Encarnarcion, I urge you to discuss this matter outside of my courtroom and work something out, and i’ll come back with a plea bargain. In saying that, Mr Palmer, I find your evidence to prove Mr Milkovich’s dealings with the cartel as insufficient. So, I will reduce the bond from $300,000 to $100,000. Understood?”

Mickey tried to fight the smile that crept onto his face. Suddenly, somehow, he felt optimistic, and when he looked back at Ian again, he could see optimism on his face, too.

Was this really it? Was he actually going to get out of here?

Both lawyers nodded, despite Mr Palmer’s disgruntled stare, “Yes, your honor.”

“You’re dismissed.”

* * *

They had spent majority of the ride home in silence, contemplating ways of how they could make up the $10,000 to get Mickey out. They brought up ideas, and Daniel even offered to pay before realizing he didn’t have that kind of money for himself anymore. Lip even considered asking Fiona, but they all shot that down quickly, knowing Fiona’s feelings towards Mickey weren’t exactly friendly at the moment.

When they got inside they continued to brainstorm, Ian paced around the living room and took a seat on the couch, raking his fingers through his hair from frustration because there _had_ to be a way. 10K was far easier for them to obtain than 30, but how they could get there hands on it was the question on their minds. That was until Daniel realized the time, and pulled everyone out of their thoughts.

“Shit, I need to go,” he revealed with a hint of dread. Ian looked up at him, sympathy in his gaze knowing just how hard it’ll be for Daniel being on his own through this.

“O-Okay,” Ian cleared his throat, “did you want me to call you a cab?”

“Please, I need to pack my things.”

“alright,” Ian nodded, pulling out his phone to order the ride as Daniel hurried to gather his things and put everything into his bag.

 

After a quick goodbye to Lip and Mandy, Ian escorted Daniel out the door to wait for the cab that was about to arrive at any minute. He crossed his arms across his chest as they walked down his porch steps, feeling saddened by the fact that it was unlikely they’d meet again any time soon.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t hang out more,” Ian’s voice almost came out a mumble, and Daniel looked back at him with a smile.

“Dude, it’s fine, we both have too much on our plates right now.”

Ian gave a quick nod, “I hope you find her, I know what it’s like to be in your position.”

It was true, and maybe that’s why Ian felt such a connection with Daniel, because the both of them had fucked up and lost the people they recognized as home. Ian’s fight for Mickey was almost at the finish line, meanwhile Daniel’s fight for his girlfriend and child was just beginning.

“I hope so too,” Daniel sighed, “and I hope you can get Mickey out of there, I’m sorry I couldn’t do more—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ian shook his head, noticing the car that had pulled onto his street,“just take care of yourself, alright? Text me.”

“I will,” Daniel promised, embracing his friend in a tight hug. Ian released his arms to wrap them around him, pressing his finger’s deep into Daniel’s back as he tried not to fear what was next for him.

“Stay safe,” Ian muttered against his shoulder, and he felt the vibrations of Daniel’s shoulder as he chuckled beneath him.

“I always am,” he pulled away, looking over to his ride that pulled up in front of them, “maybe you guys can come and visit once this shit is sorted?”

“Sounds good,” Ian responded with a grin.

They said their goodbyes and Ian watched Daniel throw his things in the backseat before getting in himself. Ian crossed his arms again, feeling a tightness in his chest as he watched his friend get taken into the unknown. Suddenly, he felt lonely again, and the harrowing questions of how to get the cash to save Mickey resurfaced in his mind.

He walked back into the house, his shoulders weighing with oncoming defeat as he took a seat back on the couch, blankly staring at his hands as his thoughts muddled together, unable to form any kind of sensible plan.

There had to be a way to make the money, he didn’t want Mickey to spend even one more night in that hell-hole.

“Alright, so how are we going to do this?” Lip piped as he made his way in to sit on the armchair, Mandy following close behind, munching on some chips as she took a seat on her boyfriends lap.

“I have no idea,” Ian sighed, “my brain is turning to mush.”

“Well, I have some money saved,” Mandy mentioned.

“And I have about $1000 left from the meth money.”

That’s when it sparked within Ian’s mind, his head shot up as he realized something that was right in front of him this whole time.

“That’s it!” Ian mused, getting up off the couch as he quickly clambered up the staircase. Lip and Mandy shared a look of confusion but didn’t resist their curiosity, getting up from the armchair to follow him.

They ran up the steps as they watched Ian pull out a stepping stool to reach the attic door.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Lip questioned, moving around to the back of Ian to have a better view, “you got a stash of cash up there?”

“Not quite,” Ian strained, standing on his tip-toes upon the stool as he opened and began searching frantically with his hand for whatever he had kept up there, then he caught it, a gasp leaving his lips, “ah-ha!”

Lip and Mandy stared, wide eyed as Ian made his way off the stool, holding up a plastic bag filled with meth to show them, “found it!”

“You kept it?” Lip responded, shocked.

Ian shrugged, looking down at the bag in his hands, his fingers feeling the texture of the rocks.

“Guess I just wasn’t ready to let her go,” he muttered, referencing his mother. Mandy frowned slightly before trying to lighten up the conversation.

“You’re lucky Fiona didn’t find out, she would have killed you.”

Ian had to laugh at that before reaching for his phone, “you’re right.”

He began to traipse down the hall, away from his best friend and brother as he dialed Carl’s number, hoping the next piece of the plan would be simple.

“Hello?” Carl answered, almost right away.

“Hey, can you come home? Are you busy?” Ian asked, still a bit frantic.

“Nah, why, what’s up?”

“How long could it take for you to move a pound of meth?”

Carl paused for a moment, thinking it through, “I don’t know, maybe 1-2 hours?”

“Okay cool, I need you to come home.”

“Yeah, alright,” Carl sighed, “be there soon.”

 

The hours seemed agonizing. Ian skipped lunch, too nervous as he longed for Carl’s return. Carl had happily taken the meth to be sold to a dealer he knew, and Ian had thanked his brother for putting himself in a dangerous situation for Mickey, but Carl was more than willing, and didn’t care much for the possible consequences.

None of this felt real to Ian still, his mind in some kind of foggy limbo as he tried to comprehend the fact Mickey could be in his arms before the sun even had a chance to set.

$10,000. That’s all it took, and even if he didn’t make that much, Lip and Mandy’s savings, plus a bit of his own, would be enough. Mickey was going to get out of there. After what felt like months apart, Mickey would finally be home again.

Ian was feeling the best he had in a days, and maybe it was because his success was a massive distraction from the way his chemicals were out of whack, and perhaps the meds were beginning to do their job, but either way, he felt hopeful. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel and could picture his daydreams becoming reality. Even if he felt somehow weighed down by the lurking depression, he felt good, because he had done something right for once in his fucked-up life.

He tried to be patient, tried to actually pay attention to whatever conversation Lip and Mandy had as they watched a movie, and he tried to resist the bones in his body that were aching for him to run towards Mickey and never turn back. Luckily for him, that’s when Carl returned, waving an envelope in Ian’s direction as he burst through the door.

“Got it! Only gave you $8,000 though, that alright?”

“Perfect,” Ian praised, jumping off the couch to grab the money from him. He counted each note, unable to fight his grin. This was real. This was happening.

Lip paused the movie, getting up from his seat with to double-check Ian’s counting. Ian let him, watching his brother do so as he bit anxiously as his fingernails. After what felt like a long moment in time, Lip looked at both brothers with a smirk, an unlit cigarette between his lips.

“Anyone up for a trip to the bank?”

Ian beamed, feeling the corner of his eyes sting from the overwhelming emotions he had coursing through his body. It's happening.

Mickey’s coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, see you at the next one <3

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @igotamagicpenis


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